ALSO for all u gays who are planning on making up a boyfriend to shut ur family members up, here are a few ideas:
chad: kinda an asshole, but you love him :) on the football team, really likes sports, said i love you once when he was drinking (even if he was underage) and he wont go shopping with you. he usually pays for dates though and you guys go hiking together or something.
michael: nerdy quiet boy. you might know this guy irl bc hes a twink but ur aunt carol doesnt know what that is so he makes a great beard. he likes theater and you guys go get coffee together all the time. helps you do yoga. possibly a dancer, but Definitely A Straight Guy :)
tanner: gym rat. you have been on multiple juice cleanses with him. you cheated on all of them but never told him. he plays lacrosse or something and is the team captain. only going to college if he gets/got a sports scholarship, so he goes to some tiny private school in flyover country. you guys met on a dating app, but one of those ones that isnt tinder bc hes too good for tinder.
tyler: a stoner who definitely deals but u dont tell ur family that they just know it. super chill guy, thats pretty much his only characteristic. skinny as shit, might be one of those white guys with dreads if ur family likes racists (you decide if its right). definitely believes in reverse racism and uses the n word.
andrew: senior class president of his preppy ass high school, always dresses like a frat boy trying to impress the dads of the three girls he is dating (read: fucking) at the same time. takes u to fancy ass restaurants and bought u a necklace that was way too nice (bc he stole it from his mom). definitely a business major whose daddy owns a yacht, a huge republican who thinks gay men are gross but lesbians are hot
stefan: artsy guy ur parents disapprove of (but hes a guy so they dont disapprove THAT much) but he plays the guitar in public whenever people dont want him to. calls himself a male feminist bc “free the nipple.” has a really big and kinda gross beard. is a music and coffee snob.
will: asshole philosphy major. probably a libertarian. u guys literally have nothing in common but ur dating him for some reason. ur relatives dont know why. the secret reason is bc ur gay but str8 people date people they dont like all the time so no one questions it
anyway those are my ideas for fake boyfriends. if ur wondering why they are all shitty its bc men are shitty and im trying to be realistic here. feel free to mix and match ur fave names and characteristics to come up with the perfect fake boyfriend for you!
if u like this post, let me know if u want similar ones for explaining to ur grandparents how and undercut isnt gay, actually, or how to flirt with girls in front of ur parents without them realizing its gay. thanks for reading!
I taught this morning and then ran a workshop (on mental health in the classroom yeahhhhh) at a conference this afternoon and I’m only just getting home and I’m doing all the deep breathing stuff but are there any particular stretches or something that work well for post-binding all damn day (8.5 hours, I didn’t get home as early as I thought I would)?
Unwilling to fully live the life that is arriving in our bodies moment by moment, we find ourselves left with no real life at all. In our state of disembodied dissatisfaction we may think, ‘I feel like I’m disconnected. Maybe I need to change my job, or change my relationship, maybe, maybe, maybe.’ But the fact is that the fullness of our human existence is already happening all the time.
anyway here's my OC. he's an extraordinarily charming, funny, handsome movie star and dancer who can act really well but no one takes him seriously because he's so good-looking. he hooked up with every beautiful woman in hollywood and did every drug under the sun. now he's a good boy who does yoga a lot. he became sober and now he spends all his time caring for his children, doing charity, and grocery shopping.
Hey remember when I used to do yoga all the time? I’m gonna do that again. To keep myself accountable, I’m hosting an ongoing challenge!
There are TWO STEPS for the fun and happy:
1. Commit to at least 20 min of yoga a day. It doesn’t matter what kind of practice. Doesn’t matter if self-led or by a video. Just yoga (the verb) and take a few minutes for you each day.
2. Use the hashtag #NamasDaily to talk about your yoga and get hooked up with fellow yoga fam. Are you doing a challenge? Did you use a video? Do you just want someone to talk to about it? Even if you hop in and out of daily practice, join the fun!
I will be following the hashtag and reblogging posts, so it is a built-in promo! Spread the word, tumblr babes – we’re getting our yoga on. :-D
Headcanon: Force-ghost Luke making good on his promise and appearing to Kylo every once in a while usually choosing an inopportune time to scare the hell out of him while Obi-Wan tries to console Anakin how his family could be such a disappointment and it’s all his fault and Yoga cackling madly.
Bonus: General Hux smirking every time he hears Kylo scream like a little girl and asking if the Supreme Leader is feeling well every chance he gets.
I’m at a stage where I’m consistently happy with my body. Probably because i’ve been practicing yoga all the time, eating whatever the fuck I want, spending time with people who love me, allowing myself the freedom of frowning when shit is hitting the fan and I’m covered in muck. I never expected to feel this at home in my skin, and I don’t always feel this way- but I do feel at home in it today. It’s been a long and crazy summer. So much shit is on the horizon and a lot of it might hit the fan. And instead of focusing on how I might not feel like this tomorrow or the number of people who don’t want me to feel this way, I just want to celebrate this moment of self-love. Because it could be gone tomorrow and that’s fine, too.
Bra and panties are @lanebryant
@zoelitakerphotography took this photo (at Durham, North Carolina)
This is the sixth in a series of vignettes about single daddy Peeta, his charming little daughter Cassie, and their very hot neighbour, Katniss. Each vignette is a standalone, but they build on each other so at this point, it’ll make a lot more sense to you if you’re read the earlier works. The first five vignettes in this series were written for @everlarkbirthdaydrabbles , and were generally fluffy (because birthdays are about happy, not angst!). Vignette 6 is a great deal less fluffy as we explore growing pains in the creation of this new family.
This vignette is emphatically rated E.
I wake up before the alarm, a thin grey dawn only starting to tease the horizon just beyond my bedroom window. Warm and snug in bed, I’d like to roll over and fall back asleep, wrapped in my gorgeous wife.
But when I reach for her, the other side of the bed is empty.
With a groan, I drag myself out of bed and head downstairs. I find her by the back door, lacing up her running shoes. Her glossy black hair is pulled back in a sleek ponytail and she’s wearing those spandex running pants that make her ass look so damned fine. But I refuse to be distracted by how hot Katniss is, because clearly she’s sneaking out for a run.