yo mate

being multilingual like...

What people think it’s like:

  • *speaks multiple languages fluently on command*
  • *is very sophisticated*

What it’s actually like:

  • constantly speaking to people in the wrong language
  • managing to squeeze 3 or 4 languages into one sentence without noticing
  • gradually forgetting your first and second language, while not speaking anything fluently anymore. not even your first language is safe
  • Grammar? What grammar? Which grammar??!!
  • being permanently confused
  • can’t even order bread at a Danish bakery after 2 years of language training
  • cry and curse yourself for moving somewhere where they don’t speak English or your first language. but mostly cry. and weep

yo my mate passed this down to me so im gonna be a lad and pass it out to all you fellas out there tryna pass more, coconut oil is liquid gold. you get it in a solid block and put it in warm water to melt it in the jar, but you get the idea. and its super cheap. you can get it for £3 in superdrug and boots in the uk. rub it on your face and leave it overnight and it does wonders for facial hair growth for pre t dudes, ive only used it twice now but i’m already getting a tiny moustache. its lit.

Just Friends? || Dan Howell

A/N: Look! It’s a new dan imagine.Things get kinda hot at the end of this one so I warned you. 

Word Count: 1.3K

POV: Reader


Originally posted by leftfringe

Without me noticing it my head sunk down onto Dan’s chest. My eyes had fallen shut half way through the movie. I had fallen asleep not only in my friend’s flat but basically on top of him. Dan didn’t seem to care and drifted off to sleep not much later.

I started going to university half a year ago in a city that was completely different from my home town. It wasn’t easy to make myself a home here and manage all of the new challenges that I had to face. I had a little dorm room for myself and I got homesick and lonely from time to time.

Dan on the other hand had started uni 3 years ago. He already knew how things worked and he shared a nice flat with his best friend Phil. Dan was a friend of my elder brother and we had gotten on well before I moved here. Now that I was all alone in this big city and needed company I found myself hanging out with Dan a lot.

During my first few weeks here he showed me around and took me to his favourite restaurants. Now I was almost always welcome to hang out at his flat.

Today was one of those days. I felt lonely watching TV all by myself in my dorm room and half an hour later me and him were watching a movie on his couch.

I woke up as soon as the light that shone through the curtainless windows became too bright to ignore. The first thing I saw was a black shirt that I had nuzzled my head into. The first thing I smelled was Dan’s cologne. The first thing I noticed was Dan’s hand that was resting on my hip and almost on my bum. He must have slung his arm around me in his sleep.

I tried freeing myself from his grip without waking him up but his eyes shot open as soon as I started moving.

“Sorry.”  I awkwardly laughed and grinned at Dan’s terrible bed hair.

“I shouldn’t sleep till noon everyday anyway.” He told me, shrugging his shoulders.

He was chuckling at my morning voice but then the smile on his face vanished. His eyes grew wide instead as they landed on where his hand was resting on my hip. Dan quickly removed his arm. We had “friend zoned” each other the time we first met. Cuddling on the sofa was definitely something that could cross our friendship boundaries.

For a second we just looked at each other.

Neither of us said something.

“Ah, the cuddle buddies are finally up!” Phil suddenly exclaimed as he entered the living room.

“Shut up.” Dan and I groaned at the same time. I grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at him.

“Hey! I’m just telling the truth, Y/N.” Phil grinned while he defensively raised his hands.

“We didn’t even cuddle.” I told him, rolling my eyes.

“Sure, why don’t you check your phones and see for yourselves?”

I quickly glanced at Dan. He seemed to be as confused as me. I was expecting the worst as I unlocked my phone. 50+ messages in my group chat with Dan, Phil, my brother and some of their other friends that I had all met before.

Phil had the audacity to take a picture of us and post it in the group chat.

‘when were you gonna tell us, ;) ?’

‘Dan is getting some’

‘you are after my sister, dude!?’

‘just watching a movie huh?’

‘YO MATE Netflix and chill, imma right?’

I sighed as I read all of the boy’s texts. My brother being one of them. How embarrassing was that?

“How can you live with such a dumbass?” I asked Dan, pointing at his flatmate and best friend. My voice was loud enough for Phil to hear it on purpose.

“It’s all your fault. You were the one who used Dan as a pillow. And Dan literally hugged you tighter than his favourite teddy bear.” Phil chirped teasingly.

I could feel my cheeks heat up. “We’re just friends!” Dan and I shouted at Phil, who knowingly smirked.

After we ate some breakfast together I took the bus back to my dorm. I took my phone out of the pocket of my jeans in order to pass the time. I checked if I got any new messages and remembered the group chat and all of the boy’s texts.

‘You can stop printing your Dan and Y/N shipper shirts! Just friends!’ I typed.

After I sent my witty comment I scrolled up and stumbled over the picture of Dan and I cuddling. My head was nuzzled into his chest and he had his arms wrapped tightly around me. One of my thighs was put onto his. We did look like a cliché ‘relationship goals’ picture.

My heart sank as I caught myself smiling at the photo. I swallowed hard and quickly turned my phone off, leaving me staring at the black screen. ‘just friends, Y/N’ I whispered to myself.

After our cuddle session, nothing extraordinary happed between me and Dan for a while. I just visited him and we hung out together from time to time.


“No way, Dan.”

“C’MON just this one!”


It was a Friday night, Dan and I had just passed a few important exams and we were out to celebrate all evening with a few friends of ours. The two of us had just returned to Dan’s flat and he realised that he still had some left- over vodka. Although we already had a few drinks at the bar he somehow convinced me to drink the shot he had put into my hand.

30 minutes later half of the bottle was empty.

“Ooops” I giggled while I sunk down on the couch next to Dan and put my head onto his shoulder.  

Dan stared down at me, his deep brown eyes were hypnotising. I swallowed hard as I realized how close we were. I noticed how his eyes wandered down to my lips and stayed there.

Dan’s hot breath on my skin made my inside tingle. The desire to kiss him washed over me like a wave and there was nothing else I could think about. My skin started to glow as the unbearable urge to kiss him was just too much.

We quickly closed the gap between us as his lips crashed down on mine. His hands were back on my hips once again as he pulled me closer to him.

‘Oh my god’ I moaned in my head as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself onto his lap.

I could feel his hands eagerly grab my bum as he leaned back into the pillow of the couch we were sitting on, with me still on top of him.

We broke our hungry kiss to catch our breaths.

“Holy shit, Dan!” I screamed as I realized what had just happened.

We unbelievingly stared at each other with wide eyes.

“Dan we’re drunk.” I whispered.

“We really shouldn’t do this.” Dan gulped.

We were both breathing heavily and I was still on his lap. I breathed in his scent and as I felt his hands on my bum the desire to be as close to him as possible returned.

We glanced at each other intensely before his lips were suddenly back on mine. I buried my fingers in his brown hair, making him moan. His tongue brushed my bottom lip, asking for entrance that I gladly granted him.

We were eagerly making out on his couch, ‘just friends’ was totally forgotten by now. I could feel his hard-on poke the bottom of my thigh and I moaned as I realized how turned on he was by me.

His huge hands started to explore my body, making me gasp as they wandered underneath my shirt and unclasped my bra…

Me Reacting to Hot High Lords during the Roasting Conference

Autumn Court: Literally firepricks

Dawn Court: Hot Gay couple (Love them so adorbs)

Summer Court: Hot Season and Hot People

Day Court: Hot Bi Daddy (fuUCK IM DEAD)

Night Court: RHYSAND (Enough said.)

Spring Court: The Hothead (Stay classy, Tamtam.)

Winter Court: Cold but HOT (& his fiery mate yo)

High Lady Feyre was like: Azriel, calm down about Eris—Wait Beron insulted Rhys. IM GONNA LIGHT THIS SHIT UP STARTING WITH HIM

Originally posted by yungputa22

¡Fui yo!

He aprendido a estar sola, a quedarme sin nadie, a ser primero yo; a algunas personas me las arrebato la vida, a otras fui yo quien las alejó; unas murieron solas y otras fui yo quien las mató; ésta es mi confesión:
“Maté a algunos que dijeron amarme, pero me rompieron el corazón, no se conformaron con herirme, me torturaron hasta perder la razón, mutilaron mis ilusiones, exprimieron mi corazón, me cortaron algunos sueños, ahogaron mi amor, se rieron de mis poemas y con ello robaron mi inspiración, eso fue lo peor que hicieron, ladrones de letras, ladrones de amor.
Hubo uno que me dijo: te amo, no lo olvides y fue él quien lo olvido.
Yo no quise hacerles daño, pero eran ellos o yo, quise antes demandarlos, pero la demanda no procedió, dijeron que esos actos no eran delito, alegué a gritos: ¡pero mataron mi corazón!; nadie me oyó.
Entonces llegue a mi casa y dije: ¡se acabó!; borré sus números, tire sus cartas, olvide sus palabras de amor, cosí mis heridas, las desinfecte con alcohol y jamás volví a mencionar sus nombres, los maté con mi olvido, en defensa propia, porque no merecían nada, ni mi recuerdo, ni los poemas, ni mi dolor, ni hablar de merecer amor.
Los maté, fui yo, acepto mi culpa, soy culpable, los mate yo, pero antes déjenme decirles que los amé, a todos los amé, que mi olvido fue el único castigo que encontré, jamás podría dañar a alguien que en algún momento me hizo latir el corazón, espero eso me absuelva de toda culpa; ¡si los maté!, ¡fui yo!”.

Sofía Mendoza

Chapter Fourteen: Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback 24/06/17

If you want to participate in #hogwartsreread the rules can be found here. Here’s my thoughts on the chapter:

  • I feel like I need hermione in my life to keep me motivated girl is so dedicated
  • Goddammit Ron blurting out secrets in the middle of the library people can hear you y’know
  • I love the fact that Ron can just spurt out facts like ‘Dragon breeding was outlawed by the warlocks convention of 1709’. See Ron you are smart and you could be good at History of Magic if you just gave a shit
  • Damn some Slytherin moves from Hermione there that was some skilful manipulation
  • 'Hagrid you live in a wooden house’ hahahahaha
  • I love Charlie so much he’s just like ‘yo mates my eleven year old brother needs to smuggle an illegal dragon out of the country who’s down?’
  • “Hermione did a sort of jig” why is this so hilarious to imagine
  • What idiots leaving the cloak at the top of the tower you don’t deserve an invisibility cloak if you’re going to pull that kind of crap