HOW TO TREAT UR BITCH RIGHT: A Guide by Tamlin of the Spring Court
Hey everyone, it’s Tam. Me and my girl Feyre got the best love story of all time! I just got her back at my court, so imma tell you how to treat your bitch right like I’ve treated mine! (:
If ur bitch about to die for you, don’t do nothing brave, just sit there idly and watch shit go down. lol you could get hurt brother!
Let’s say you manage to escape ur captor for like one night. What you gonna do? YOU GONNA GET THE BOOTY. that’s right my guy!! i mean it’s not like u and ur girl aint already done the do, but like if u wanna leave a good impression before she risk her life for u… give her Tamlin Jr lol
when ur bitch bout to get her neck snapped, don’t do nothing brave, just sit there idly and watch another man jump in and try to save her. bc yo… u gonn be so tired after watching everything for days ://// like u already tried to give her one last night of magic sooo oh well
If ur bitch gets up in tha middle of the night and vomits and has nightmares and shit, don’t wake up and help her, she’s independent, she can take care of herself
ur bitch cannot take care of herself. lock ur doors. leave her with some toys and servants. she’ll be ok
if ur bitch loses a bunch of weight all of a sudden, compliment her diet!! she look hella good
***IMPORTANT!*** if another man who wears the same fukin emo outfit every day made a bargain to take ur bitch on a bad vacation every month and she come back lookin healthier, its a trick.. he tryna fuk!!
even tho ur bitch may have won a bunch of crazy ass trials and saved ur ass, she cannot defend herself
if your bitch tell u she ran away out of free will, its a trick
if an evil king offers help get ur bitch back, take it bc he’s super trustworthy (worked for me lol)
Thats all for now! I’ll be back with book 2 soon!!
WHO THE FU** IS THIS FRUIT, WHO MADE IT TO THE WHITE HOUSE, DON’T HE KNOW HES IN FOR TROUBLE HE WILL GOUBLE.
*CHORUS) TRUMP@ THIS TRUMP THAT TRUMP THIS TRUMP THAT
YOUR THE REINCARNATION OF ADOLF HITLER, CAUSE U CAN’T BE JOSEF STALIN
CAUSE WE KNOW YOU AIN’T NO VLADAMIR PUTIN, SO THEY SHOOTIN’ YOUR SLIM
SHADY WHEN HE STARTED RAPPING WHO THE F** IS THIS WHITE BOY…
SAY HELLO TO YO DAUGHTER CAUSE YOU CAN BET SHE KNOWS ME, AND MY NIGHTS
WERE MEMORIZING BRINGING CHILLS DOWN THEY SPINES CAUSE THATS WHAT THEY
DO EVEN THOUGH THEY GET MARRIED THEY WILL ALWAYS WINE’
hello!! i hope ur havin a nice day! i dont want to rush you or anything but i was wondering if you got the ask i sent you the other day? im on mobile so it mightve not sent, sorry. whats ur favourite bird?
YO MY DUDE I DIDNT SEE IT
IM MOSTLY ON MOBLIE AND IT DOES THI TO ME A BUNCH
Anyway I’m a basic Bird person so I’d either say crows bc they hella smart or rock doves, commonly know as pigeons
I HOPE UR HAVIN A GOOD DAY MY DUDE!!!!
YO have you been to Fuku? NO?? what the fuku u been doing man??? It’s THE chicken event of the year, HUGE. They even have daiquiris, the turn up juice of 2015. I mean, if you’ve been vacationing at like Busch Gardens or something, I get it. Real talk, have you ever looked in a gift shop at a theme park? Like, really looked?? YO, there are some super super come ups to be had. My sisters business partner got this FUEEEEGO hat at SEAWORLD. Like, it’s this massive straw hat thing, no taco bell. It’s chic de la chic. We’ll be cruising Bergdorf, getting lunch at Lure, in MEGA meetings, and without fail, everywhere, people will be like, yo fam, please please tell me where you got that super chic hat. I aspire to be as chic and I need this fire hat to achieve such goals. Meanwhile I’m standing there humming the national anthem to myself to honor the soon to be fallen soldiers that will be anyones mind when the “It’s from Seawolrd” line rolls off my dudes tongue. Five gun salute yo. Your mind was just Steph Curried. RIP
Tip: don’t get the fries, they’re trash. Get the side salad instead
Tip: if hungry, 2 sandwiches. They’re so good you’ll want it.
Tip: Obviously you’re going to want the OFF MENU version of this sandwich called the Koreano. It’s basically the same sandwich, with the addition of julienne daikon radish. It’s dope and I prefer it. This version is $9.
Tip: 11-4 only rn
Tip: there will be a line, but it moves super fast.
Pricing: look at the picture yo ☝🏼
When to come here: when you living that thug life and need rap, chicken, and ready to be turnt on daiquiris.
“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”
Request from anon: Can u make a imagine where Sam is on tour and your staying with the jacks and something happens to you and you have to go to the hospital and they call Sam and you can go from there thanks and sorry if it’s long 😁
“Yo!” I bro hugged Johnson and Gilinsky. “Hey what’s up Sam? What brings you to our neck of the woods?” Johnson says, lying back on the couch. “I actually came to ask you guys a favor.” “What’s up man?” G asks. “You know I’m going on tour, right?” They both nodded their heads. “Well, you know I hate it when Y/N is living alone,” “Bro, she can stay with us for as long as she wants.” G said, with J agreeing. “We’re going to be in the city for a while, so she can have the spare room.” I sighed in relief, “Thank you guys so much. I owe you guys big time. It was either your house, Nash’s or Hayes’…. And you know Y/N…” “Yeah, we do. She’s welcome anytime. And if we have to leave suddenly, she can stay with Madison if she needs. I’m sure Mads wouldn’t mind. She loves her.” G says. “Thank you guys,” I shook their hands, “This is a boulder off my shoulders.”
“Why are you scared for Y/N to live alone?” J asked. “I know she can take care of herself, but she’s a girl. There are a lot of stalkers out there. And bad guys. I just, I want her to be surrounded by people I can trust to protect her.” I got it off my chest. “We got you man. She’s safe when she’s with us. Promise. No stalkers or bad people around.” G says. “Her boyfriend still trying to look for her?” J asked. I just rubbed my face hard, “Yeah dude. He’s not quitting. And every time we call the cops, he finds his way to escape. That’s why I need her to be safe while I’m on tour. Thank you guys again. Whatever you guys need and want, I got you. Just let me know.” “We’ll prepare for her to move in. Don’t worry. She’ll love staying with us.” J tried to comfort me.
“You’ll be fine living with the Jacks.” I said while we walked up to their door, and I knocked, sighing, putting my hands on my hips, looking at her. “Is this really necessary?” She looks at me, her hands resting on the handle of her luggage. “Yes, I need to keep you safe at all times, here or not. And the Jacks will look out for you while I’m gone. But if you feel super unsafe, call 911, and then you tell me so I can come back.” “Yes, I know. You left me your rules. It’s in my luggage.” “I’m just looking out for you.” I kiss the top of her head. Just then the front door swings open, “Well hello temporary roomie!” J yells, smiling real big.
“Hey Johnson!” Y/N says happy, hugging him. J grabbed her luggage, and rolled it inside. “We’re going to have hella fun while you’re here! JACK! Y/N’S HERE!” We heard a stomp, and footsteps running upstairs and down the stairs. “HELLO ROOMIE!” Gilinsky threw his hands up, and hugged her hard. “This is about to be a fun 2 months!” “So what? You guys are my body guards now?” She raised her eyebrows at them. The Jacks looked at each other then back to her, “Basically.” “Thanks for letting me stay here. I hope I’m not a burden…” “You are one of our best friends too! So you are always welcome here, anytime. You know that. We got you.” G says. “Well I better get going. Got to get onto the bus and bounce to the Northwest!”
“Aye! Congrats again. You’ll kill it! Maybe we’ll come see you in some concerts, if we have time. But aye, kill it out there bro.” J says to me, giving me a bro hug. Then G gives me a bro hug, “Yeah man. You got this. Spread your music man. We’ll try and see you man. But kill it man!” They both walked away, leaving Y/N and I alone. “I’m sorry I’m being over protective right now. I just don’t want anything bad to happen,” She interrupts me, “I know I know. You have good intentions. It’s all because you love me. Don’t worry. I understand. Go kill it out there. Wish I could come along. But I’ll try to be at some stops. Go kill that shit baby. I love you.” She kisses me. “I’ll text you when we are on the road.” I start walking towards the door, “Be safe out there. Don’t do dumb shit!” “I won’t! Bye Y/N! Have fun with the Jacks!” I wave at her, closing the door behind me.
“She’ll be fine while you’re gone Sam. She’s in good hands. The Jacks are very protective and their house is well equipped with security. She’ll be okay.” Emily sits next to me on the bus, while I send a group text to the all the Omaha boys to look out for her while I’m out of the city. “I know. I just worry, you know?” “I do. You’ve become a true man Sam. I’m proud of you little brother.” She extends her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into a side hug.
“You guys tired of me yet?” Y/N joked to Jack and I as she made breakfast, putting it on our plates. “Tired of you? It’s been a week and a half of home cooked meals. I’ll never get tired of that. AND you clean? Man. Do you want to move in permanently??” G laughs, stuffing his face with food. “Good to know I’m good use here.” She laughs too. “How’s Sam doing on the tour?” “Good! He’s about to be in Reno.” “Aye that’s dope. That’s good he’s doing good on his tour.” I comment. “I’ll be right back.” Y/N runs upstairs to her ringing phone. Just then the doorbell rings, “I got it.” I got up from the table.
I answered the door and there stands this guy, “Hi? Can I help you?” I ask suspiciously, turning around to alert Jack, and he gets up. The guy’s head was slightly tilted down, “I’m looking for Y/N.” “And you are?” Jack asked, crossing his arms. I hear Y/N walk back into the kitchen. I turn my head, and she was looking at her phone. She looks up and her smile fades, and her phone drops quickly. She turns and runs out the kitchen and the guy pushes G and I out the way and chases her. “WHAT THE FUCK?!” We run after him.
We chased him half of our downstairs till G caught up and tackled him. Y/N I guess didn’t know, so she kept running, and tried to run upstairs, but she was wearing socks. She slipped, and hit her head on the railing. “HOLY SHIT!” Cops started running in the house and arrested the guy, who happened to be her exboyfriend. “Y/N, please wake up. Please. We promised Sam you’d be safe. Please. Wake up.” I tried to wake her up but she didn’t budge. They put her on the stretcher and into the ambulance, driving to the hospital. We finally decided to call Sam while in the waiting room.
“YO, Johnson! What’s up? Is Y/N behaving? She’s not annoying you guys yet, is she?” He jokes in happiness. “Hey Sam. We are actually calling you, uh,” I stuttered so G took the phone, “Y/N is in the hospital.” He instantly became quiet. “What? What happened? Is she okay?” “She, uh, she kind of slipped and hit her head and went unconscious. We are here at the hospital now. We are waiting to hear about it.” “I’ll be right there!” “No Sam! You have a tour to do!” We try to stop him. “NO! THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND! I’M GOING!” He hangs up the phone.
“Y/N! WHERE IS SHE?! IS SHE OKAY?!” I ran into the waiting room, looking for someone to tell me what’s going on. I got back to LA in 2 hours. I had to rush here to see her. The Jacks got up and ran to me, “They are, she’s having surgery.” J stuffed his hands in his pockets. “SURGERY? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED WHILE I WAS GONE? I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU!” “YOU CAN! We-we didn’t know what Y/N’s ex looked like. We didn’t let him in or anything, he just got to the door, and when he saw her he started chasing after her. And once we finally caught him, she slipped and hit her head. She has a bleed. They are fixing it to stop the bleeding.” “Will she be okay?” “They told us some of the risk factors. But we are praying she’ll be fine. Come on. The rest of the crew is here.” They led me to the rest of the group. I just sat there, elbows on my knees, hands on my face, waiting for someone.
“Family of Ms. Y/N Y/L/N.” A doctor called out. All 18 of us stood up. I stepped forward, “I’m her boyfriend.” “Right. Well, Y/N suffered from a major brain bleed and we had to open her up. We have stopped it, she might be in some pain when she wakes up but other than that. She should be fine. Just make sure she doesn’t go overboard for the next few weeks.” The doctor told us. “She won’t. Thank you so much. Can we go see her?” “Sure, this way.” She led us to Y/N’s room. Head all wrapped up, monitors everywhere, IVs everywhere. I started to tear up, “I’m here, I’m here. Don’t worry. I got you. You don’t have to worry anymore. You’re safe. No more bad guys are going to hurt you anymore. I promise. We’re here for you baby.” I grabbed her hand, kissing it constantly.
“I-I don’t understand. You guys said she’d be awake by now. It’s been 4 days and she’s still not awake!” I yelped out to the doctors outside her room. “Sir, we understand you are upset. But sometimes, even after the most simple procedures, they sometimes don’t wake up. They remain in a coma. We’ll do the best we can to see what is happening, but for now, all we can do is wait.” The doctor puts his hand on my shoulders as I sob into my hands. I look through the window, staring at her unconscious body, machines all around her, a tube to help her breathe.. I walked in and put a plant down on the table, “I brought you tulips today. I don’t know if you like tulips. I thought I’d just change it up for today. It’s purple and yellow. Looks healthy. Wish you could see it.” I try talking to her, like she’s awake.
“Y/N,” I pulled the chair next to her bed and sat down, grabbing a hold of her hand. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you. This is driving her nuts, please. I need you here. We need you here. Please, wake up…” I lay my face on the side of the bed, sobbing. “You need to wake up. I can’t do this without you…..”
i never posted about this but yeah when i met all time low after their hmv acoustic session i was wearing my man overboard shirt with lyrics from rare on it and i was going down the line like getting my stuff signed and all of a sudden i hear “you’re so worth all of this torture” being sung and i was like what the fuck what is happening and it was aLEX SINGING MY SHIRt so yea i got to kind of sing man overboard with alex gaskarth do u know how happy this makes me