yo kris

The China Line Chronicles #KrixingFacesOff

Kris: Welcome to another China Line Meeting! Now it’s been a long time since we’ve met and a lot has changed, like I actu–

Luhan: YIFREAKINGXING released not one, but TWO killer solo MVs without faking an injury and leaving Exo! Way to go bro!

Tao: Okay, first i feel like the faking injury part was directed at me and seco-

Luhan: It was.

Tao:

Yixing: Thanks guys! I’m so amazed, and I’m so thankful that your departures paved the way for me to have some spotlight in Korea.

Jun: So what you’re trying to say was that if The8 left Seventeen and went off to do his own thing. I would finally get more than one line and actually make my parents proud?

Luhan: Dude. Yixing humps floors and spreads butt cheeks for a living. His parents haven’t been proud in years.

Kris: Wow what a fascinating subject but like I was trying to say earlier I rele–

Chenle: Hey I think someone is knocking on the door! Were you all expecting more people?

Tao: Waittt! More members??? Yixing’s room is already the size of a closet-

The8: That may be a little too generous to say

Tao: Okay the size of a toilet stall in a closet, and I really don’t think we can hold anymore members.

Yixing: Renjun, just open the door. Exo isn’t having a meeting til later so it’s probably some more Chinese recruits looking to join.

Renjun: Okay Dad

Yixing: What??

Renjun: Nothing *opens door*

Jackson: *enters with 3 guests*

Jackson: WHAT UP MY CHINESE FAMILY??!!!

Kris: Yo dude!

Tao: What’s up man?!

Luhan: Jackson?

Jackson: So I heard you’ve been having meetings to talk about how unfair it is for Chinese artists as idols here in Korea an–

The8: You wanted to join and add your valuable input?

Jackson: Lol no, are you kidding me? I got JYP on speed dial and 5 out of 4 shows on television have my face in them.

Jun: *mutters* that’s not even possible

Jackson: I’m actually here because i brought these guys! *gestures towards 3 guests*

Yibo: Yo!

Yixuan: Hey guys!

Wenhan: Nice to meet you all!

Luhan: Okay forgive me if I’m being rude, but I promise I have never seen any of you in my life before.

Tao: He’s got a point. We at least could google the NCT boys to figure out which ones were the rejects of the group.

WinWin: Um thanks?

Yixuan: We’re actually 3 members of Uniq. We had that EoEo song where we g-

Yixing: GRINDED ALL OVER THE FLOOR!! Yeah dudes I know you! I saw that video and knew that we HAD to meet one day!

Kris: AND SPEAKING ON VIdeos!! Mine came out and I sang my whole song in English!

Luhan: *coughs*

Tao: *avoids eye contact*

Jackson: Um that’s cool bro, keep doing your thing I guess.

Kris: WHY ARE YOU ALL BEING SO FLAKY AND NOT ENCOURAGING ME??

Yixing: Well some parts of what you just told us are hard to swallow…

Kris: Like what?!!!!

Jun: I don’t know, simple things like you “singing”

Tao: And speaking “English”

Luhan: And actually having a “video” to be honest

Kris: I hate you all

Yixing: Um that’s kind of Suho’s line.

Luhan: Yeah Kris you can’t take it, it’s the only one he’s got.

Jackson: So yeah, I’m going to leave now, I was just dropping these guys off before i headed to China to film 6 reality shows before sun down.

Wenhan: *whispers* Please don’t leave us.

Jackson: This is a safe place guys. It’s all about acceptance and goodwill! *leaves out*

Luhan: Speaking of Goodwill, Tao where did you get your clothes?

Tao: Dolce and Gabbana bit–

Kris: Changing gears!! Let’s talk about something else. Did you know my video was directed by Collin Tille–

Luhan: So Yixing, I’m still just amazed at all your success! That Lose Control video was hot! When you went shirtless I knew that you meant serious business.

Yibo: I saw it, and speaking as a professional grind and roll master. You even had me sweating!

Yixing: Okay guys, you can settle with the compliments. Thanks they do mean a lot, I’m just getting embarrassed now.

Kris: Embarrassed?? You’re embarrassed?? All I have done is lead this support group, be there when you needed me-

Tao: *coughs* lies

Kris: -And treated you all with nothing but respect! Can i get some recognition on my video please??!?!?

Luhan: Okay Kris fine, your video was pretty coo—

Chen: *knocking on door* YIXING why did Jackson just leave your room?? ARe you planning on doing a tv show or something??

Yixing: *through door* Go away Chen! I’m trying to rehearse for my solo stage and you’re distracting me.

Chen: *through door* I can’t go away! Suho told me to get you. Something BIG is happening and he wants the whole crew here and present!

Kris: *to Yixing* Just go, we’ll just wait it out and leave when it’s over.

Yixing: okay cool, I got snacks in my freezer and the WiFi password is “ItPaysToBePatient91”

Luhan: Um are you trying to tell us something??

Yixing: *winks* Coming Chen! *opens door and leaves*

Tao: So what are we suppose to do while we wait?

Wenhan: *looks around* This room is bigger than our dorms

WinWin: We could have a contest to see who had the most lines in their group songs!

Kris: Luhan, hands down. Too easy. Suggest something else.

WinWin: Well we could listen to your new song?

Renjun: Umm…

The8: Ew no

Jun: Don’t be a suck up

Luhan: Ahh you know what? I forgot that I was deaf.

Wenhan: I’d rather just do something more productive to be honest.

Kris:

Kris: I’m never coming to one of these dumb meetings again.

Kpop Parents Connections #TheFirstMeeting

(Shout out to @t-a-e-g-i and @wolfriver777 for this idea!)

Jaebum: Welcome to our first K-Idol Parent’s Nite! This will be a weekly meeting where we can talk kids and give each other advice.

Rap Monster: Right now all of our kids are going through a lot. Jimin is possessed, V fell in love with a dog, Kookie won’t stop crying, Suga thinks he’s Mozart and J-hope is addicted to pills and Snickers so it would be helpful to talk about our struggles in dealing with this.

Jin: And I’m actually not even sure if my children and husband are real, or if all of this is in my imagination.

Kihyun: *to Shownu* Why are we here again?

Jinyoung: *to Jaebum* I didn’t let you drag me out here so that you could play Dr. Phil.

Jaebum: Hey everyone calm down. NamJin is just sharing their lives with us. This is a safe place. Jin I promise you, your family is very real.

Jin: But the pict–

Jaebum: Next! How about Seungcheol and Jeonghan. How are you guys doing?

Seungcheol: Pretty well. Right now we’re not promoting much and just taking a br–

Jeonghan: Why do I have to be the “wife”???? Is it because I use to have long hair in the past?! I never asked to raise these kids!!

Seungcheol: *tries to calm him* Honey not in front of the others.

Jeonghan: HONEY?!! call me honey again and I’ll shove a beehive down your throat the next time you scream at some lame fireworks.

Kihyun: *to Shownu* Again…. why are we here?

Jaebum: Jeonghan it’s okay. None of us get a say in being a parent bu-

Shownu: I did

Jaebum: Okay besides Shownu, but it is an amazing experience with life long rewards. Jinyoung and I are very proud of the way we raised our children.

Jeonghan: Isn’t BamBam in trouble every other day? and Jackson on the verge of a mental breakd–

Jaebum: Kihyun and Shownu! Would you like to say some things about being a parent?

Shownu: No.

Kihyun: Yeah they’re pretty chill. The only thing that bugs me is when the visuals won’t admit to gaining their features from my side of the family but besides that we’re fine….Also I did manage to get Jooheon from flipping me off 12 times a day down to 10.

Jinyoung:

Jaebum: Um I guess that’s something to be grateful for.

Kihyun: Yep

Suho: *enters with shades on and sits in the back*

Jaebum: Suho! I’m so happy you came! I knew this might be a little awkward as a single parent but hopefully we can be a help to yo–

Kris: *suddenly enters* Here!

Suho: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU THAT YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO COME??

Kris: I was bored and feeling nostalgic. SO SUE ME FOR FINALLY TRYING TO BE A GOOD DAD!

Jaebum: Um guys..

Suho: GOOD DAD?? GOOD DAD?? YOU WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT A GOOD DAD WAS IF IT BOUGHT YOU ALL THE TIES ON FATHER’S DAY AND CHOKED YOU WITH THEM!

Kihyun: *to Shownu* Never mind I see why we’re here now.

Kris: PLEASE YOU’RE JUST MAD THAT I MOVED ON WITH MY LIFE AND MADE A NAME FOR MYSELF!

Jaebum: Guys please!

Rap Monster: I thought this was suppose to be fun.

Jin: I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF ANYTHING I BELIEVE IS REAL!

Jeonghan:

Seungcheol: Do you wanna go home?

Jeonghan: I’ll drive *both leave*

Suho: I GAVE YOU MY ALL AND YOU THREW IT IN MY FACE!!

Jaebum: We’re just going to reschedule for another time when we all are much calme–

Kris: PLEASE YOU COULDN’T EVEN MAKE ME AN EGG OMELETTE FOR BREAKFAST!!

Jinyoung: That is a deal breaker

Jaebum: True

Suho: I’M LEAVING DON’T FOLLOW ME AND DON’T CALL ME EITHER! *writes phone number down on scrap of paper. Places it on seat and leaves*

Kris: BELIEVE ME I WON’T! *picks up scrap of paper puts number in phone and leaves too*

Jaebum:

Jinyoung: Please tell me that you won’t invite them to the next meeting.

Jaebum: I’m never inviting those two basket cases anywhere ever again!

Kihyun: Yeah so we’ll be leaving too, um where are the snacks that were promised?

Jinyoung: Here *gives cookies*

Kihyun: These look like they were made over the ashes of a burning plane

Jinyoung: Well….

Kihyun: *throws cookie* What a pointless day *leaves with Shownu*

Rap Monster: I guess we’ll leave too. The kids are a little too unstable to be unsupervised right now.

Jin: And I’ve been hearing voices of dead people for the last 20 minutes….Good night! *both leave*

Jinyoung: Jaebum…

Jaebum: Yes?

Jinyoung: I want a divorce.

anonymous asked:

Can I request an EXO reaction to walking in on their friend (you)?

Sehun

Sehun: “Ooo!! GET THAT DICK BEST FRIEND!!” *He yells as he closes the door behind him exiting the room.*

Kai

Tao

*Tao would be hella shocked about what he just walked in to.*

D.O

Chanyeol

Chanyeol: “Oh… My bad…”

Chen

Chen: “I knew y’all were bangin in here!!”

Baekhyun

Baek: “What the fuck……”

Lay

Suho

Suho: “ Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.”

Kris

*Walks in the room looking down at his phone, so he doesn’t notice what’s going on.”

Kris: “Yo Y/N, you wanna go grab some food.”

*Looks up and *gif*.*

Luhan

Xiumin

Xiumin: “oh my.”