Jaebum: Welcome to our first K-Idol Parent’s Nite! This will be a weekly meeting where we can talk kids and give each other advice.
Rap Monster: Right now all of our kids are going through a lot. Jimin is possessed, V fell in love with a dog, Kookie won’t stop crying, Suga thinks he’s Mozart and J-hope is addicted to pills and Snickers so it would be helpful to talk about our struggles in dealing with this.
Jin: And I’m actually not even sure if my children and husband are real, or if all of this is in my imagination.
Kihyun: *to Shownu* Why are we here again?
Jinyoung: *to Jaebum* I didn’t let you drag me out here so that you could play Dr. Phil.
Jaebum: Hey everyone calm down. NamJin is just sharing their lives with us. This is a safe place. Jin I promise you, your family is very real.
Jin: But the pict–
Jaebum: Next! How about Seungcheol and Jeonghan. How are you guys doing?
Seungcheol: Pretty well. Right now we’re not promoting much and just taking a br–
Jeonghan: Why do I have to be the “wife”???? Is it because I use to have long hair in the past?! I never asked to raise these kids!!
Seungcheol: *tries to calm him* Honey not in front of the others.
Jeonghan: HONEY?!! call me honey again and I’ll shove a beehive down your throat the next time you scream at some lame fireworks.
Kihyun: *to Shownu* Again…. why are we here?
Jaebum: Jeonghan it’s okay. None of us get a say in being a parent bu-
Shownu: I did
Jaebum: Okay besides Shownu, but it is an amazing experience with life long rewards. Jinyoung and I are very proud of the way we raised our children.
Jeonghan: Isn’t BamBam in trouble every other day? and Jackson on the verge of a mental breakd–
Jaebum: Kihyun and Shownu! Would you like to say some things about being a parent?
Kihyun: Yeah they’re pretty chill. The only thing that bugs me is when the visuals won’t admit to gaining their features from my side of the family but besides that we’re fine….Also I did manage to get Jooheon from flipping me off 12 times a day down to 10.
Jaebum: Um I guess that’s something to be grateful for.
Suho: *enters with shades on and sits in the back*
Jaebum: Suho! I’m so happy you came! I knew this might be a little awkward as a single parent but hopefully we can be a help to yo–
Kris: *suddenly enters* Here!
Suho: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU THAT YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO COME??
Kris: I was bored and feeling nostalgic. SO SUE ME FOR FINALLY TRYING TO BE A GOOD DAD!
Jaebum: Um guys..
Suho: GOOD DAD?? GOOD DAD?? YOU WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT A GOOD DAD WAS IF IT BOUGHT YOU ALL THE TIES ON FATHER’S DAY AND CHOKED YOU WITH THEM!
Kihyun: *to Shownu* Never mind I see why we’re here now.
Kris: PLEASE YOU’RE JUST MAD THAT I MOVED ON WITH MY LIFE AND MADE A NAME FOR MYSELF!
Jaebum: Guys please!
Rap Monster: I thought this was suppose to be fun.
Jin: I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF ANYTHING I BELIEVE IS REAL!
Seungcheol: Do you wanna go home?
Jeonghan: I’ll drive *both leave*
Suho: I GAVE YOU MY ALL AND YOU THREW IT IN MY FACE!!
Jaebum: We’re just going to reschedule for another time when we all are much calme–
Kris: PLEASE YOU COULDN’T EVEN MAKE ME AN EGG OMELETTE FOR BREAKFAST!!
Jinyoung: That is a deal breaker
Suho: I’M LEAVING DON’T FOLLOW ME AND DON’T CALL ME EITHER! *writes phone number down on scrap of paper. Places it on seat and leaves*
Kris: BELIEVE ME I WON’T! *picks up scrap of paper puts number in phone and leaves too*
Jinyoung: Please tell me that you won’t invite them to the next meeting.
Jaebum: I’m never inviting those two basket cases anywhere ever again!
Kihyun: Yeah so we’ll be leaving too, um where are the snacks that were promised?
Jinyoung: Here *gives cookies*
Kihyun: These look like they were made over the ashes of a burning plane
Kihyun: *throws cookie* What a pointless day *leaves with Shownu*
Rap Monster: I guess we’ll leave too. The kids are a little too unstable to be unsupervised right now.
Jin: And I’ve been hearing voices of dead people for the last 20 minutes….Good night! *both leave*
I remembered it was just two months ago when Kris made his first appearance in Times Square through Dr. Dre’s Straight Outta campaign. Now, he made his second appearance! Keep doing great things baby, I will be here to witness them.