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Retta & Jenny Slate want you to do one thing this month: Treat. Yo. Self. to an STD test. 

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Vernon + Affection
  • so this scenario will be set in …. (putting dots cus i’m literally thinking LMAO) your house!! 
  • wow how original renae everything is in your apartment or house
  • vernon and you are just chillin in your room on your bed looking at your old photo albums 
  • cus yknow 
  • vernon likes to chill
  • so, the one you’re both looking at rn is when you were a little baby and vernon is going crazy!!! like you’re cute to him rn and seeing you as a cute baby now is like!! overwhELming
  • he’s gushing all over how cute you are and he’s throwing in comments like 
  • “you still have the same cute nose”
  • “look at your wittle dimples it’s still the same as ever” and you’d tell him something like “well ofc dimples don’t just disappear like that vernon” and he’d be so immersed with the photo album he didn’t even catch your sassy comment
  • you didn’t rlly think you were all that when you were a kid so you were just leaning your head on his shoulder listening to him “ooh” and “awwh”
  • you eventually got so bored that you took your head off his shoulder and observed him 
  • you adored his cute nose and the way his lips would curl up a little when he saw a super cute photo of you and how his eyes would crinkle up 
  • his nose would scrunch up and he’d squish his own self (you know what i mean by this right?? LOL) and a over exaggerated “aaaWWWH” would leave his lips
  • you were unconsciously smiling at him because you srsly couldn’t believe that this noob.. that this baby cake is all yours.. 
  • and ofc like in all scenarios eventually he’d spot you looking at you and be like hmm?? 
  • every1 knows that off-stage, vernon is the most shyest kid ever he’s like a tiny marble or smth 
  • so vernon is just looking at you like o///o?? blushing like wyd?? why are you staring at me?? is there something on my face??
  • and you’d notice he’s sort of freaking out inside and you’d just giggle at how cute your lil poop was
  • your laugh was like heaven to his ears so now he’s full on zoned out and stuck in his own head like “wyd!!!” 
  • and he’d actually ask you that too, stuttering like “w-why?? hAha” trying to laugh off his embarrassment and he’d do that thing where he scrunches his eyes and has a little smile on his face and he’s scratching the back of his head (you know what i mean right like have you ever seen him on smtm3) 
  • he was so cute to you in that moment that you just kissed his cheek 
  • and he’s gushing even more like… my gf is so cute… i cna’t believe her… 
  • and now you’re both just chuckling like hAha… my significant other, i can’t help but adore you 
  • and you both start losing control of your laughter and you don’t know why like that’s just how you guys roll 
  • and eventually the laughing dies out and you both can’t help but feel grateful to have someone like them in my life 
  • and vernon would just smile at you while looking into your eyes and put away the photo album and he’d pull on your arm so both of you could lay down on the bed together
  • and he just snuggles up to you and wraps his arms around you with a big grin on his face and a warm feeling settling in his stomach 
  • like words couldn’t even explain how happy he was at this moment (wait uhh… i jsut described IT??? nvm okay but you know what i mean) and he’s so grateful to have someone like you 
  • you’re just laying there, breathing softly, cuddling with your bf with a slight smile on your face 
  • and you’re both just there laying with eachothers presence, enjoying the company and love that’s floating around the air 
  • “i love you so much, (y/n)”
  • “awh, i love me too”
  • “don’t plAY me likE THat… say you love me back :^(”
  • “of course i love you back”
  • “thank u”
Creo que ahora veo la diferencia, entre amar a alguien desde lejos y amar a alguien desde cerca. Cuando lo ves de cerca, ves quiénes son en realidad, pero también ellos ven quién eres tú realmente. Y él lo hace. Me ve y yo lo veo.
—  Jenny Han, A todos los chicos de los que me enamoré.
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TELL ME JENNY SLATE ISN’T A PERFECT VOICE FOR AN AMEDOT FUSION

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6 selfies of 2015 aka my hair grew a lot this year

not sure if I was ever tagged to do this but whatever I’m tagging cute people @akoluthos @valiantponds @phoenixs @clarahoswald @thedoctordances @lady-mz-benzedrine @actually-aphrodite and whoever wants to post these and wasn’t tagged <3