yj[1]

Ok, Harry, pay attention. I’ve brought you to the Hogwarts Library. Why? Because it’s the biggest library in the magical world. Over 20 million books. And they’re all saying the exact same thing: Listen to Hermione.
—  Hermione Granger [to Harry Potter, at some point, definitely]
Magic hand can be used for nut punches

So we were in a close quarters fight, our rogue gave up his awesome plan to throw an oil soaked net on top of the group we were fighting and then lighting it on fire to punch a guy in the nuts with his magic hand.

Rogue: “I use my magic hand to punch that guy in the nuts to make him drop his weapon.”

Everyone else ooc: “No go with your other plan, you’re going to waste your attack!”

DM: “Okay, roll an attack.”

Rogue: “…I rolled a nat 20.”

DM: *after laughing for a solid 5 minutes* “Okay, you punch him in the nuts for 3 damage. He screams and drops to the ground. He drops his weapon to put his hands over his nuts.”

anonymous asked:

Hi!! Do you have any "five times" fic recs? I see them sprinkled everywhere but I would LOVE to see them all in one place, because they're my favorite!! Thank you so much

What a great request! I absolutely adore these fics! Thank you!

Originally posted by oikaawa-san


Five Times (5+1) Fics


Five Times Viktor Got Jealous (and the one time Yuuri noticed) by braveten, Teen, 10k
Before now, Viktor hadn’t realized that he was the jealous type. What an interesting revelation. Must read!

Five Times Phichit Takes Embarrassing Photos of Yuuri by cutthroatpixie, Gen, 4.9k
A series of short stories telling the story behind embarrassing pictures of Yuuri. Definitely recommend!

5 Hidden Talents of Yuuri Katsuki (And one not so hidden) by Fangirlshrewt97, Gen, 16k
There are only a few days to the Victuuri wedding so all the skaters have joined our favorite couple at Hatsetsu in the days leading up to it. During their stay, they all learn some new things about the Japanese skater that they had previously not known. OMG LOVE!

Ten Days of Perfect Tunes, the Colors Red and Blue by ken_ichijouji (dommific), Explicit, 7.9k
The five times Victor tried to deepen his relationship with Yuuri, getting blocked in the process, and the one time it finally went the way it should. Great fic!

Unworthy by heartsdesire456, Teen, 6.5k
5 Times Victor Overheard People Saying Yuuri Wasn’t Good Enough For Him and 1 Time Someone Told Him Yuuri Was Too Good For Him. Cute!

Five Times Viktor and Yuuri Were Jealous of Makkachin (and the one time they weren’t) by braveten, Teen, 6.4k
Viktor and Yuuri are jealous of Makkachin on multiple occasions, but the adorable brown poodle might be the only way to get them to realize their love for one another.

Going Down in History by ivelostallcontrolofmylife, Mature, 6.4k
Viktor Nikiforov has absolutely no self control and a penchant for bad pickup lines. AKA Five Times Viktor Shamelessly Flirted With and Embarrassed Yuuri in Public, and the One Time He Got His Ass Absolutely Owned. OMG HAHA I LOVE THIS!

5 Times Yuuri Tried to Kiss Victor + 1 Time he Did by kireiflora, Gen, 7.2k
Yuuri has always wanted to kiss Victor, and he has, many times since he burst into his life, but there are five attempts that stick out most. And the most important one that actually happened. SO FRICKIN’ CUTE OMG

Oh My Lord, I’ve Been Blessed by Herperlo_D, Teen, 2.5k
Five times Viktor was struck dead by Yuuri’s killer thighs and the one time he did something about it. Thick thighs save lives, especially Victor’s!!

5 Annoying Things About Being Married To Victor by heartsdesire456, Teen, 5.9k
+1 thing that never gets old, no matter how much annoying stuff Yuuri has to put up with. Do you ever just want to cry because a fic is so perfect?? This is one of those fics

Exceeding Expectations by asocialfauxpas (fuzzytomato), Explicit, 8.3k
5 times Yuuri and Viktor failed at sex and one time they didn’t. Thumbs up!

Five Times Yuuri Katsuki Freaked Out About Living with Viktor Nikiforov (and the One Time It Was Viktor’s Turn) by Ame (Ulan), Teen, 7k
Viktor could not help his wide smile. Life with Yuuri in Saint Petersburg was off to a great start. He was happy; he was excited. He had never felt anything more wonderful and overwhelming and amazing in his life. Which probably meant that Yuuri was off somewhere, feeling the same, and freaking out. LOOOOOOVE!

The Bedroom of a Skater by PippinSqueaks, Gen, 2.3k
5 times Victor snuck into Yuuri’s bedroom and the one time he didn’t have to. So fluffy!

Your Love Is More Than Worth Its Weight In Gold by youaresunlight, Mature, 3.5k
Five times Victor and Yuri kiss after the Grand Prix Final, and one time it leads to more. Definitely recommend!

A Message to Your Heart by cutthroatpixie, Gen, 1.8k
5 times Yuuri leaves Viktor a note + 1 time Viktor returns the favour. Love! Bonus angsty Yurio!!!

5 Times Soulmate Marks Made Things Easier by Teabagger, Gen, 9.7k (WIP)
And one time they really, really didn’t. Six different soulmate mark short stories! Must read!

3

PUDDING: evening, barkeep! i’ll have one of those fruity looking drinks with the little umbrella, please!

BRIX: …uh, can i see some id, kid?

PUDDING: are you absurd?! do you not know who i am? THE Pudding Goon? Pumpkin, tell this imposter of my fame!

PUMPKIN: i apologize on my sister’s behalf, she recently hit 50 subscribers on her internet video website thing.

PUDDING: FIFTY WHOLE PEOPLE! I’M A STAR, I TELL YOU!

Oldie of the 7.5″ SBR.

“These moments of nocturnal prowling leave an indelible impression. Eyes and ears are tensed to the maximum, the rustling approach of strange feet in the tall grass in an unutterably menacing thing. Your breath comes in shallow bursts; you have to force yourself to stifle any panting or wheezing. There is a little mechanical click as the safety-catch of your pistol is taken off; the sound cuts straight through your nerves. Your teeth are grinding on the fuse-pin of the hand-grenade. The encounter will be short and murderous. You tremble with two contradictory impulses: the heightened awareness of the huntsmen, and the terror of the quarry. You are a world to yourself, saturated with the appalling aura of the savage landscape.” —Ernst Junger, ‘Storm of Steel’