yesterday's purchases

So I came home from work today and there was a kindle addressed to me that I did not remember ordering. I spent the afternoon trying to figure out how I accidentally purchased a kindle from Amazon, and when I came back from hanging out with Catherine, I told my parents, guys, you will not believe what I accidentally ordered for myself. 

“Huh,” said Dad very casually. “Did you get charged for it?” 

I spent the next five minutes checking my bank account and came back into the living room to announce, “No, I didn’t. Do you think it’s a mistake? But it has my name on it! what does this mean”

It was around the time that I started to sound panicked that Dad confessed to buying it for me (“I didn’t realize the mystery of it would be so terrifying”). Which was very, very sweet and slightly unfortunate because yesterday I purchased a replacement kindle for myself. 

So anyway, we now have a family kindle 

The Joker x Reader - “25 Signs The Joker is Into You”

Related: http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/166889332871/the-joker-x-reader-13-hints-the-joker-wants-a

1.  The Joker burns down your house because he wants you to stay at the penthouse all the time.

“Baby, did you do this?!” you ask since he’s the prime suspect in your books.

“Nope,” the short answer doesn’t give him extra points.

“Are you sure???”

“Innocent until proven guilty, Doll.”

2.   J tells you he hates you all the time.

“What did I do?!” you pout, upset.

“Nothing, I just hate you.”

You frown and he kisses you, irritated:

“Tough it out, Princess! Life is cruel.”

3.   He tolerates your cat.

The fluffy thing can’t stand him. The feeling is mutual.

Every time kitty sees J, she hisses.

“Likewise!” he growls. But at night she cuddles by his side, purring and he purrs too. It’s a contest and J wins on a regular basis. He’s so proud of himself.

4.   He indirectly compliments you when you are insecure.

“My thighs are as big as tree trunks!” you complain, analyzing yourself the mirror.

“Who gave you that idea? Did somebody say something to you?”  your boyfriend gets pissed, thinking he’s gonna kill the asshole that insulted his Queen.

“No…Yuck, all the cellulite,” you pinch your skin, horrified.

“Where?”

“Can’t you see?”

“Who the hell cares, woman?! You look fine. Stop your drama, I’m not in the mood!”

“I’m so fat!” you sigh, ignoring him.

“Yes, you are FAT: Fiesty, Annoying and Terrible!”

You finally smile and The Joker sniffles, not wanting to admit he loves it when he’s the source of your happiness.

5.   He lets you mess up his perfectly styled hair, aware it calms you down when you’re stressed out. Usually, J is the main source of that stress so…his way of making it up to you.

6.   He engages in foreplay (which he normally never has patience for) knowing how much you enjoy it.

7.   The Joker likes to expose himself to you as often as possible.

Takes his clothes off really fast, waiting for you to pass by when you walk in the backyard. Opens the glass sliding door too, just in case.

“Oh my God!” J hears you squeal.

“That’s right, Pumpkin, feast your eyes!” he nonchalantly stretches, flexing his muscles in the process.

“Oh my God!” another enthusiastic squeal. He arrogantly smirks, pleased with his achievement.

8.   J rubs your feet when they hurt after wearing high heels all day.

9.    He blows up the new house you bought since there’s no way he wants you to stay away from the penthouse.

“Baby, did you do this?!” you have to inquire again, frustrated.

“Nope.”

“Are you 100% sure?!”

“Innocent until proven guilty, Princess.”

10.   The Joker can’t sleep without you, that’s why you always have to get back by nightfall. If you don’t, the next day is his turn to keep you up all night… with sex. Gotta pay for those dark circles under his eyes.

11.   When you’re sick, he kidnaps the best doctors and brings them over to make sure you’re not dying or something.

12.   He makes your favorite tea, even if he thinks it’s too much work to boil the water.

13.   He actually takes into consideration what you like in bed and doesn’t give up until you scream his name like crazy.

14.   J turns one of the smaller bedrooms at the penthouse into your own ”girl room.”

Anything you might need is always there: tampons, make-up, perfume, favorite chocolate, body lotions, bubble bath, shower gels, pink champagne, condoms (although  unused, but he thinks they look cool).

15.   The Joker cancels meetings when you send him naughty pics.

“Daddy, are you gonna make it home in time or should I start without you?”

16.    He pulls you in his lap when you pass by and just stares in your eyes without saying a word.

“Umm, you don’t like my outfit?” you try to guess, nervous.

No answer.

You become more anxious.

“You should have told me, I’ll go change.”

J keeps on staring.

“OK, I’ll be back shortly.”

You try to get up and he stops you.

“You’re pretty,” he sighs, softly kissing your lips.

17.    He counts the freckles on your shoulders when you sleep, hoping you’ll get more because he finds them cute.

18.   Your boyfriend lets you give him hickeys. It’s implied you’ll pay for it later but he likes it when you go crazy on him.

19.     The Joker floods the apartment you purchased yesterday.

Apparently, you won’t be able to live anywhere else but the penthouse.

“Baby, did you do this?!”

“Nope.”

“Are you lying to me?!”

“Innocent until proven guilty, Pumpkin.”

20.   When you take naps, he kisses the tip of your nose and watches you smile in your sleep. He finds it adorable.

21.   J makes sure you can’t walk straight for 2 or 3 days if you tease him while he has important business to attend to. But he also makes sure you get to relax with him in the Jacuzzi.

22.    He buys you a new cat after yours dies.

J hates cats but you like them so…perfect present.

The new kitty adores The King of Gotham, always purrs in his lap. At night, he purrs when you caress his hair and the cat purrs because J pets it. It’s puurrrfect.

23.   He texts you love poems (thanks to Google, appreciated nevertheless)

“Roses are red

Foxes are clever        

I like your butt

Let me touch it forever.”

24.   The Joker reads to you when you have bad cramps, aware that’s the only way you will dose off.

His favorite is “Database Issues in Geographic Information Systems”. Boring as hell, puts you out in less than 5 minutes, this way J doesn’t have to deal with your crankiness. Affection Joker style, but it still counts.

25.   He doesn’t kill you when you tell him you’re pregnant

He’s not big on kids, not thrilled when hearing the news. 

“Did you get pregnant on purpose, Princess?!” J interrogates.

“Nope.”

“Are you sure?!” your short reply makes him doubt.

“Innocent until proven guilty, baby.”


Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

Suprise Me (Ben Platt X Reader)

WC: 2039

Warnings: Kinda smutty (not actual smut, but it’s seriously implied)

Summary: Y/N has found out that her lovely boyfriend is an aphrodisiac, and decides to use it to flip the tables a little.

Tagged: @lildipstick @bellasabb @ahhhhamilton

A/N: Combining two requests again, woo! Enjoy, children.

“Mmm, good morning.” Ben said, his voice still low and gravelly. I rolled over and smiled at him, placing a hand on his chest.

“As much as I love this sight.” I said, gesturing to Ben’s naked form. He smirked at me and pressed a kiss to my neck.

“I have to get to work, and so do you. It’s Sunday, Benjamin.” I said, pulling the covers off of us. Ben groaned and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close to him.

“Ben!” I whined, earning a chuckle from him. He took his arm off my waist and put his hands up in the air in a mock surrender.

“I love you!” Ben called as I walked into the bathroom. I chuckled and turned on the shower, sighing as the warm water poured over me.

I picked up the new body wash I bought recently, and poured some of it out into my palm. The scent of raspberry and vanilla filled the bathroom as I used it, and I was almost reluctant to wash it off.

I turned the shower off and dried myself, getting dressed quickly. “The shower’s all yours, babe.” I said, walking out of the bathroom.

Ben smiled at me, but suddenly I noticed something dark cloud his eyes. “Is, uh, is that a new body wash, babe?” Ben said, his voice slowly creeping up an octave.

Keep reading

Park Jimin

REQUEST: sorry if this is a weird request, but would it be possible to ask for a scenario with Jimin where his s/o and himself are expecting but they’ve kept it secret for a while so that they could enjoy the privacy and so that it gave them time to announce it to family and friends, but it gets leaked into the media when they least expect it? have a lovely day! ❤️

Type: Fluff? maybe a bit angst?

W/C: 1152


You remember the day Jimin came home to see you sitting on the bathroom floor with a tear in your eye and a smile on your face. Just by seeing you looking at the thin white stick in your hand he’d know exactly what was going on.

“Jagiya… are you?” He’d say wide eyed, a smile slowly creeping onto his lips at the realization he was going to be a father. More than that, he was going to be a father to YOUR child.

You remember him holding your face and kissing you like he’s never kissed you before. Happiness poured out of him and his hand shook slightly while he sniffles back his own tears of joy. You couldn’t help but sealing the deal right there on the bathroom floor because why not. You had never been so in love before in your life.

You remember waking up the next morning to Jimin kissing your forehead before moving to your belly, something would continue to do every morning. You remember him turning around in the doorway and smiling at you once before speaking what was on his mind.
“Rehearsal will only go will 4. When I get home we’re telling everyone- our parents being the first.” He’d say biting his lip. “I don’t know how I’m going to keep this from the boys they’re going to know something’s up.”

You knew it was all in your head but you couldn’t help the fact that you felt like you were glowing that morning as you pranced around the house doing your daily routine. It wasn’t until you sat down with a bowl of cereal did your smile finally drop. 


BREAKING NEWS
Park Jimin with child!?
Long time girlfriend, now wife of BTS lead vocalist Park Jimin was seen yesterday morning purchasing pregnancy tests. Should we be already expecting a BTS jr?

You stared at the picture in shock. How could they tell it was you through the mask, sunglasses and baseball hat you had worn so you could do this one thing in privet. You stared at the bundle of photos, getting lost in angry thoughts. The sound of your phone ringing broke your chain of thoughts and you hadn’t even realized you had started to cry. You picked up your phone and stared at it as MOM was printed across the top.

“Is it true?” Was all she said when you picked up the phone.

“Yeah mom it’s true.” You sniffled.

“Why are you crying?” She said, worried about you but too excited that she was going to be a grandmother.

“I can’t have anything to myself. The whole world found out I was pregnant before I did it’s just… it’s just not fair.” You said biting your lip. “I just wish Jimin and I could have been the ones to tell you guys.”

“I know, but don’t focus on that.”


He walked into the studio trying to contain his smile. Nothing could bring him down today, he was going to be a dad and he couldn’t have wanted anything more than that.

He coughed once trying to contain himself as he stepped into the room all the others were already in.

“Whatcha looking at?” He’d say walking over to where the boys all sat hovered over Yoongis phone.

He’d look up and just pass his phone over, watching as Jimins face turned down and his heart sunk.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He said shaking his head in disbelief. “We found out yesterday…” he said handing Yoongi his phone back.

“Wait you guys are definitely pregnant?” Taehyung said sitting up straighter, a smile reaching his lips.

“Yeah.. I have to go home, y/n is going to be destroyed.” He said looking to Namjoon who shook his head.

“Not without us. I’m going to be an uncle and you’re not taking this moment away from me.” He’d say making Jimin smile slightly before the seven of them left the studio quickly.


You had ended the phone call with your mom, she had told you all of your relatives had seen the news as well and were all calling her since you were ignoring all of their calls. You moved to your bedroom and sat on the chair you had by the window for rainy days and tucked your knees to your chest. Thoughts ran through your head all relating to the child. Would it be safe? Would the life you had to endure to be with Jimin also apply to the baby? Will it had to endure years of hate before it was finally accepted? These were all things you thought of before and now that you were actually pregnant they were even more relevant.

You wiped your cheeks as your phone rang again. You listened to the sound of your ring tone from the other room until it stopped, you just needed to be alone. No, you just needed to be with Jimin. You watched outside as the cars below you came to a stop and started back up again, occasionally wiping the silent tears that continued to spread down your cheeks.

You didn’t even notice Jimin had came into the room till he was pulling you out of the chair and into his chest. He held you close, sighing as your arms snaked around his waist. The feeling of multiple arms forming around you made your head look up. You smiled a the rest of the members hugged around you and you tilted your head to the side just enough so it was pressed lightly to Jungkooks.

“Are you okay?” Jimin finally said as everyone pulled away, his hands reaching up to wipe your tear stained cheeks.

“I just want one day.” You said making him chuckle and pull you once again so he could kiss your forehead.

“So, what are we naming it?” Taehyung said bringing the mood up as everyone laughed. You sniffled again before a light laugh cleared your lips.

“Obviously we’re naming it after me?” Yoongi said rubbing your back once before grinning at you to make you smile.

“We?” You said looking from him and back to Jimin.

“Um yeah… hello, uncles?” Taehyung said holding his hands out the rest of the boys.

“You can pick names all you want. It doesn’t me WE are going to agree.” Jimin said wrapping his arms around you so his hands were resting lightly on you belly.

“Can I touch it too?” Jin asked, landing him a slap on the arm by Namjoon and a scowl from Jimin.

“As soon as there is something to few I’ll let out know.” You laughed, already feeling so much better.

“We should probably call your parents  score they read I online too.” To oh said turn it to Jimin so jus nodded in and agreement.


You remember that day like it was yesterday. You remember thinking what a great father Jimin was and you remembered just how excited everyone else was despite your news being broadcasted across the world. You were 8 months pregnant, literally bout to pop and just like you knew he’d be, Jimin was becoming the best father you’ve ever seen. 

And it wasn’t just him that took care of you. The boys all came together to spoil you and your unborn babies with gifts. Your favorite was the song Yoongi and Jimin wrote together, it was something catchy enough for you to listen to but soft and perfect enough to play for the baby, and play it did. Every night after dinner Jimin would place a pair of head phones against your large belly and play the song softly, and when your beautiful baby girl was born you could have sworn she came out sining that exact song. 

Kip Kinkel confession tape transcript

So heartbreaking hearing this. Everyone should give this a listen.

Audio taken from YouTube:

Part 1  // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

AW  This is detective Warthen, Springfield Police Department. Today’s date is Thursday, May 21, 1998. The time is at 9:51 A.M. This will be a taped conversation with the last name of Kinkel, K-I-N-K-E-L, first of Kipland, K-I-P-L-A-N-D, middle of Philip, P-H-I-L-I-P. Date of birth 08-30-82.

AW Kip, what I’ve done is I’ve turned on a tape recorded so I can tape record our conversation because, you know, I’m not the best note taker in the world and a couple things that I want to go back over with you and earlier I advised you of your rights, is that not correct?

KK That’s correct.

AW Okay…Can you speak up just a little bit, I’m a little hard–

KK Yep.

AW And, you know, we talked briefly and yesterday you were involved in an incident where a gun was…You purchased a gun at school from Korey Ewert and your dad came here to the Springfield Police Department and took you home after that is done. Is that correct?

Keep reading

daffodilparker  asked:

77. for Peter :-))

77. “Yeah, you look cute. I mean, you always look cute, but this is just a new facet of your cuteness.”


You stared at the small mirror in your locker hating the reflection. Gently laying on the bridge of your nose was a pair of glasses that you had unwilling purchased yesterday at the optometrist. While you were grateful to be able to see two feet in front of you again and even more grateful the headaches were gone you hated the glasses and you hated the way you looked because of them. 

“Hey, (Y/N).” A familiar voice called out behind you and you shoved your head into your locker trying to avoid any further embarrassment. 

“Uh, it’s custom that someone shoves you into a locker but I appreciate your enthusiasm of starting your high school career out on the lower tier of popularity.” Peter laughed pulling you out. You sighed as you faced him. A smile spread from ear to ear on his face and his puppy dog eyes grew.

“Oh my god, (Y/N). You look adorable! Why didn’t you tell me you got glasses?” You bit the inside of your cheek trying not to smile at his compliment.

“I don’t like them. Do you really think they look good?” You asked shyly, crossing your arms, trying to comfort yourself as familiar faces walked by you, noticing the new addition to your face. 

“Yeah, you look cute. I mean, you always look cute, but this is just a new facet of your cuteness.”

You blushed and rolled your eyes. 

“Thank you, Peter.” You leaned in and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. 

(TRANS) Vivi Magazine January 2017 Issue


INDIVIDUAL QUESTIONS

Q1: Your thoughts about this magazine series?
Chanyeol: When I look at the pages featuring me, I confidently say “This turned out well~ Handsome!” (in Japanese)

Q2: What have you been doing this past summer?
Chanyeol: I’ve been training for my showcase on stage (referring to the gym training he did prior to the revelation of his abs perhaps) as well as training for concerts. In fact I just came back from one (laughs)  

Q3: Something that you’ve been fond of recently?
Chanyeol: Japanese language! I aim to master it by “reading books and memorising as much as possible.” (he finished his answer in Japanese)

Q4: A recent occasion that made you laugh? 
Chanyeol: During a broadcast where our Chinese member, Lay made a blubber.

Q5: Recent failures experienced?
Chanyeol: Albeit it not being an actualy failure per say. It’s when I face difficulty finding inspirations for my lyrical compostions, but i don’t worry too much about it.

Q6: An outfit you’ve been wearing often?
Chanyeol: From a brand called Vetements! My clothes are typically in the largest size.

Q7: Song that you’ve been listening often recently?
Chanyeol: “A winter story” a soundtrack from a movie entitled “ Love Letter”

Q8: A product you wish to buy? / Wishlist?
Chanyeol: A pair of sandles from Adidas. I actually purchased them yesterday!


Translation by Soojung @ fyeah-chanyeol
(Please take out with full credits)