I’m not dead yet, I swear! Things were just a little hellish for a while and only recently began to settle down. But that’s enough blogposting.
I’ve managed to get a very simple inventory, or weapon selection screen working. Well sort of, It’s still having trouble with replacing selected weapons. But yes, I’ll make a proper post/video here once I get things together, till then here’s three place holder weapons slapped on to Pepper’s arm.
You like Kristen Stewart now? Didn't you make a video a while back making fun of her? That seems really hypocritical js
Yes, I did make a video where I made fun of Kristen Stewart. 6 years ago. That isn’t “being hypocritical” that’ “learning more and growing as a person.”
That video was up in 2009. I was 16. I also didn’t like salads when I was 16, does the fact that I like salads now make me a hypocrite? No. I learned more about them, realized their value and how wonderfully delicious they can be. The last bit of that was more specific to the salad part of that analogy.
More importantly, I think there are certain entertainers (and for some reason it’s always female entertainers) that Hollywood tells us we should dislike for really small and superficial reasons, and I think that Kristen Stewart is a really good example of that.
Why do people hate Kristen Stewart?
Well, people don’t like her because of Twilight, but both her and Robert Pattinson have openly talked about how bad the Twilight series is. They were just actors doing a job, and she wasn’t a bad actress in that movie. She came off as an insecure, helpless and completely unremarkable woman in those films, and that’s exactly how the character was written.
And have you seen her other acting roles? Adventureland is a film I consider incredibly underrated and she was fucking fantastic in it. She was also really great in Into The Wild. She’s a talented actress, and if you want to talk about being hated for their acting roles, consider the fact that when you reeeally look at it, Johnny Depp and Will Smith are actors who do one good role every few years, and they’re still legitimately beloved.
People don’t like her because of her affair during her last relationship. And yeah, cheating is shitty, but she was 22 when it all happened and 22 year olds fuck up. And more importantly, it’s none of our goddamned business. Robert Pattinson even forgave her.
People don’t like her because she’s “awkward” during interviews, but you have to realize that 1, she seems to struggle with anxiety, 2, she was arguably one of the most famous people in the world for a few years and had her entire life exposed to the public and 3, she’s been constantly dealing with people trying to belittle her sexuality and ideologies for the past couple of years.
I’m not going to say Kristen is a lesbian, because she’s obviously been with dudes in the past, but she’s obviously in a relationship with another woman and for whatever reason Hollywood is refusing to acknowledge it. She could literally be caught going down on another woman on camera and People Magazine would report it as a “very intimate friendship.” Beyond that, she’s also an avid feminist which for some reason has a negative connotation in mainstream society. So, when your core beliefs and sexuality, two really heavy factors in the person you are, are constantly being undermined and attacked, I imagine you’d be pretty uncomfortable in public situations too.
There are other female celebrities in a similar boat, being criticized for being themselves, and I’m really glad to see that they aren’t taking shit anymore. Taylor Swift is another obvious example, who literally wrote a number one single that said “fuck you, I know you’re going to judge me anyway.”
Taylor Swift has been made fun of for years because of her dating record and her tendency to write songs about her failed relationships, which is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. It’s literally a singer/songwriter’s job to pull from personal experience to create heartfelt and intimate music, and she’s being chastised constantly for doing what she’s paid millions of dollars to do.
“Yeah, well, we made you famous for a genre of music where you’re supposed to relay your own life experience into relatable and emotional songs, but that doesn’t mean we want you to talk about your emotional life experience!”
Also, like, let’s not even address the fact that it’s fucking stupid and sexist to judge a woman based on her dating record. It is fucking stupid and sexist to judge a woman based on the amount of people she’s dated, but let’s not address it because I’ll be here all fucking day.
Do you know how many dudes Taylor Swift has dated since 2012, excluding bullshit tabloid rumors with no basis in reality? Three. Do you know what you call a 25 year old who’s had 3 relationships in the past 3 years? Fucking unremarkable.
Taylor Swift is constantly mocked because she’s had a perfectly healthy dating record for the past few years, because she’s a young gorgeous talented millionaire and as it turns out, dudes are into that. Kristen Stewart is just being who she is, doing her job and trying to live her life, and tabloids constantly paint her as some kind of angry anxious weirdo.
I fell for this bullshit. For years, I fell for this bullshit and I feel so so bad about it because now that I realize how tabloids will take any opportunity to shame someone, especially young women, I’ve looked past it and I value them as entertainers and artists now.
This is going to be a deep survey. you ready?
What are you doing tomorrow?
- I just have dance from 6-9, that’s probably it.
Have you met anybody that changed your life?
- I mean, lots of people have made impacts on my life in different ways
Delete a year of your life, or start over in a new town?
- Start over in a new town
Anyone you’re giving up on?
- Nah, I found someone and I think we’ll have a good relationship
Do you like little kids?
- No, I’m not very good with them and I’ve just never been a little kid person
Would you want to know the date of your death?
Would you rather have long or short hair?
- Long, but I hate how damaged and frizzy it gets and it can be annoying so there are times where I just want to chop it all off and have it like boy-length
Who pissed you off yesterday?
- No one, actually yesterday was the most perfect day of my entire summer I’d have to say
You love math right?
- Heck naw
Are you one of those people who are always cold?
- No, but I don’t do well with temperature extremes haha
Is your cell phone a touch screen phone?
Will you be in a relationship in 4 months?
- Most likely yeah!!
Who did you last cry in front of?
- No one
Angry at anyone?
Is it hard to make you laugh?
- Haha no, I’m a very laugh-y person
Are you good at hiding your feelings?
- Not really, everyone seems to be able to tell when I’m not happy
Do you hate the last female you had a conversation with?
Where would you like to live other than where you are?
- Canada, England, or Ireland. But most likely Canada in Toronto.
Do you throw up gang signs?
- No lol
What are you listening to rite now?
What’s your favorite color?
- Blue or purple
When did you meet the last male you texted?
Are you currently looking forward to anything?
- Dance team auditions, a couple concerts, seeing Quinn again because yesterday we had the best time ever
Do you want to cut your hair?
- At times I do but nah my hair is all I have going for me
Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you?
- I guess technically friends
Do you have trust issues?
- Yeah, I don’t believe you can ever fully 100% trust anyone, like not even the person you marry.
Was the first person you talked to today male or female?
How’s your life lately?
- Pretty lovely
Are you currently in a relationship?
- Technically no
Did you do anything productive today?
- Not yet
Would you ever get a tattoo?
- Maybe, not sure
Dark hair or light hair in the opposite sex?
- Dark hair but idk it depends
Kiss a boy whose name starts with a S?
- No lol
Will your next kiss be a mistake?
What did you do for your last birthday?
- Hung out with my friend and did a little mall photoshoot together haha
Have you ever felt like someone of the opposite sex truly cared about you?
When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
Do you know anyone that smokes weed?
Do you have a YouTube account?
- Yes, I should probably make videos more often
What do you want for your birthday?
- If I have a boyfriend at the time I just wanna do something special with them tbh
Is there anyone who doesn’t like you?
- I don’t know, probably
Who did you spend your summer with last year?
- No one hardly, mostly my friend Cabi though but not a whole lot
Where did you get the pants you’re wearing?
- No clue
Are you happy?
- Yes, happier than before for sure
Is anything bothering you?
- Not really, I have a couple things worrying me a little but I just need to brush them off
Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your own bed?
- I don’t know
Are you in a good mood right now?
- Pretty good
Do you want kids?
- No, never
Do you think that you have made a difference in someones life?
- I don’t know, I hope
Does the last person who texted you make you smile?
Will this weekend be a good one?
- I hope so!!
Who was your first crush?
- in preschool I had a crush on this fat Hawaiian kid hahaha
Are you in a complicated relationship?
How many hours did you sleep last night?
- 8 hours
Do you get drunk every weekend?
- No, I’m against getting drunk
Will you be sleeping alone tonight?
- Yes smh teenage problems
Are you okay with making a total fool of yourself?
- Not really, I have too much anxiety
Do you have any regrets?
- Not that I can think of
If you died, would people miss you?
- I’m sure, I mean I hope
Miss anyone right now?
- Yes haha
I used to REALLY Love your videos, they were so good..but since you started to show how much you like singing I've liked you less& less. It's just cringey, your not good and you doing all these voice lessons and performances is so frustrating. I get that you like it, and that's so cool, but you force it onto the fans... I watched your channel to see funny videos now I've stopped... My friends and I sold our O2L tour tickets because you will probs be singing.. So many others feel this way aswell
this honestly really upsets me.
im not FORCING anyone to pay any attention to my singing. yes i still mainly make “comedic” videos on my channel. i have about 140 videos on my channel and literally only THREE are of me singing. yes i am pursuing singing but it is still only something on the side. my regular youtube videos is still my main content i put out. on average i may put up one singing video once every 2 or 3 months. so thats 1 singing video out of about every 12. so if you or any other people dont like my singing then just dont watch those videos? I’m not forcing you, and i still mainly make my regular videos.
i’m all about trying new things, i never want to stick with the same content over and over because that would become boring and repetitive. I’m definitely still gonna always make my traditional videos where its just me talking but i dont ONLY want to do that, i want to start branching out more IN ADDITION to those. yes I’m starting music, i also want to start making more “Acting” style videos where i do quick skits, i want to get back into more public prank/dare videos as well. and much more.
my point is, i like to have a variety of video styles on my channel, i dont expect EVERY viewer to like EVERY type of video i make, and thats fine. first and foremost i make videos for MYSELF, obviously its important to make content that my audience enjoys, but i literally make videos that i enjoy doing. music is something I’ve been around my whole life, i was in band playing trumpet for 10 years. singing is something that ive always secretly loved and always wanted to try, and ive finally recently had the confidence to put myself out there and give it a shot. of course not everyone will like it, by no means did i expect everyone to. there are incredible artists and musicians out there that aren’t even liked by everyone, so it doesnt shock me at all that some people dont like my singing.
this is getting long, my point is i dont really get your point in telling me that, I’m still gonna do what i love to do, if theres something you or another viewer dont like, then simply dont watch it, its fine with me. at the end of the day however, I’m very fortunate enough and blessed to say that i do have quite a lot of people who will support anything i make and anything i do and I’m forever grateful for that, i can’t ever thank them enough.
as for me doing voice lessons, how is that frustrating? I’m obviously not the best at singing ill be the first person to admit that. I’m still extremely new to this and i have A LOT to learn and A LOT to improve on. if I’m going to be pursing music on the side i want to be the best i can be and learn all i can, so of course I’m taking lessons, sorry that makes you mad…?
last thing. besides my collab with tyler oakley, my 3 most liked videos are my 2 covers and my music video to ordinary. (I’m by no means trying to sound cocky or arrogant when i say this) but soooo that DOES show that a lot of my viewers are actually liking it, which is just positive feedback and reinforcement.
ok I’m done lol i ended up saying way more than i meant to. honestly I’m truly sorry you dont enjoy my music, because it is something that i enjoy doing. and I’m sad you felt the need to actually sell your tickets bc the show is very diverse and fun, its much more than just me singing for 5 minutes. i look forward to seeing and meeting you guys. but its your decision.
In Calvins newest video he seems not as harsh and super giggly idk if it's just me? Like he chose to not make fun of the kid when he had all the usual opportunities and idk I feel like it's such a flip all of the sudden and I'm living for it. He seemed really happy idk if it was just me that saw it but I'm living for it
heeeey SO - i need to deal with this. as most of you probably know i suffer from anxiety, and i’ll be honest, lately it’s just gotten to the point where doing anything strenuous is way too much for me to handle. i’m focusing on myself more than anything else and atm YouTube is, for whatever reason, not a source of fun and enjoyment anymore. which is my fault, i started to put way too much pressure on myself to try and make better content and ended up crippling it in the process.
so to answer - yes, I plan to keep making videos. but i need to be healthy and functional again first. sorry for the life story but i mean, i owe anyone who likes my content an explanation. i love you all like crazy you wonderful humans ✌🏻