yes-chef

the signs as shit my friends say
  • aries: fuck you, i'm NOT hangry!!!
  • taurus: if this is about your relationship status, i'm going to need another bottle of wine
  • gemini: if you're half jewish, does that mean i can be half gay?
  • cancer: a zebra. two zebras. dos zebros!
  • leo: someone save me, i'm about to get bareback fucked by this exam
  • virgo: i put a funnel in the cheerios thing and now it's starting to look more like a tree!!
  • sagittarius: another day, another soprano screaming off-key in the practice room next to mine
  • libra: oh, no, he's great, he just does a lot of coke
  • scorpio: i'm putting my name down as "olive ostrovsky has daddy issues"
  • capricorn: the gordon ramsay version of "yes daddy" is "yes chef"
  • aquarius: i'm passionate about two things: recycling and REVENGE
  • pisces: you're a syrupy disaster!!
100 Scurvy Pirate Prompts

Me amigos, ‘tis be ye cap'n @promptguy. Thank ye fer all th’ submissions. I translated some to be more scurvy pirate. 'tis might be th’ best list so far.

  1. “Which lovely booty ye be eyein’? th’ curvy wench’s or th’ shit-barnacles ye can’t spy wit’ ye eye in yon chest?”
  2. “oh me god! th’ boat be leakin’!” “No, that’s just bilge rum”
  3. Scribe 'bout a scurvy pirate that be scared 'o th’ ocean
  4. Ye discover that Prompt Guy be actually th’ Flyin’ Dutchman
  5. A pirate ship encounters sirens who use their song to lure them. th’ band 'o pirates give a go’ to escape but 'tis later revealed that th’ sirens don’t want sink them but join them
  6. 'tis ye first day on ship, 'n ye’re in learnin’. All th’ other members on board be experienced 'n professionals at their ship except 1. That one be ye “trainin’ laddie”… a child Jack Sparrow.
  7. “walk thee fuckin plank ye scallywag”
  8. Ye be th’ cap'n 'o a crew 'o Githyanki band 'o pirates, 'n ye be huntin’ ye quarry in th’ astral plane. th’ problem be, ye quarry consists 'o a ship full 'o illithids, or mind-flayers, who had previously enslaved ye kind wit’ their mental powers
  9. Ye got captured by band 'o pirates. be tellin’ a story on how ye end up becomin’ cap'n fer that scurvy pirate ship. Bonus points if ye scribe a way ye do it that dont murder anyone nor end up wit’ physical harm.
  10. Bin got a pair words fer ye scurvy dogs: “Shark Bait.”
  11. Poseidon, th’ God 'o th’ Sea, has chosen ye as his vessel. He whispers in ye mind, “by sea be th’ only way to travel.” ye embark on a journey, killin’ anybody who dares take an airplane or car.
  12. Ye’ve always thought that havin’ a peg leg’d be cool, but arh, the maintenaince yeh have to do to keep up yer cool appearance!
  13. “ye’re seriously makin’ me swim th’ plank again?!”
  14. A pirate cap'n goes on a mission to reclaim th’ pirate ship that was stolen from him 'n free his crew members from imprisonment
  15. Ye have traveled long 'n far in search 'o an infamous treasure that ye 'n ye crew have be searchin’ fer fer 16 years. Upon discoverin’ it, ye open th’ chest only to find a map leadin’ to another treasure. th’ value 'o friendship.
  16. They shout that treasures best be hidden on land. Yer cap'n be sayin’ they’re all lyin’. Yer cap'n be sayin’ th’ best place to be hidin’ treasure be in th’ heart 'o a storm.
  17. Ye ship be sunk, ye maties abandoned ye, but ye still have th’ gold… 'n spiced rum.
  18. Ye be kidnapped from ye home in th’ dead 'o nightfall 'n brought onto a ship wit’ a crew 'o 100 band 'o pirates. As ye look on in fear, they all bow below before ye. One 'o them introduces themselves as ye First Matey. ye be now their cap'n.
  19. Ye muster onboard a scurvy pirate ship, hopin’ to get some doubloons 'n th’ comradery ye sorely missed in th’ navy. But turns out th’ ship ye ended up on has a secret ye would never have guessed…
  20. A forbidden lust story between a sea cap'n 'n a siren he meets at sea.
  21. Ye’ve always wanted to be a scurvy pirate. ye even got ye chance when a fleet 'o them attacked ye town. th’ problem? ye’re a 'land-lubber’ 'n 'tis isn’t a nice world. ye’ll have to prove ye can handle bein’ a scurvy pirate just to make it out 'o th’ brig
  22. Ye’ve just taken control 'o a merchant ship only to find that th’ entire crew be more scared 'o th’ 4 year barnacle-covered girly offsprin’ 'o th’ wealthy tradesman ye’ve locked away. When she smiles, ye spy wit’ ye eye storms in her eyes - 'n then she laughs…
  23. Ye find a cursed treasure. When a piece 'o gold be spent it disappears. How do ye spend ye loot.
  24. “No women allowed on board!” says th’ cap'n. He finds out, one by one, that every member 'o his crew be a woman wit’ a fake beard.
  25. That scurvy scalawag Blackhearted Benton just stole yer ship wit’ all yer lovely booty! GET IT BACK!
  26. “Stop playin’ yer dratted cello, matey, 'n help me sword fight off Blackbeard!”
  27. Ye be th’ first astronaut to be sent to explore th’ galaxy. Suddenly, ye re stopped by space band 'o pirates, 'n be forced to choose between roamin’ aimlessly forever or joinin’ their crew.
  28. Ye got into th’ piratin’ business fer one reason - so ye can afford a ship in Malibu.
  29. “Remind me; if women be bad luck, why do we have a female cap'n?”
  30. Mermaid band 'o pirates. They find new islands 'n take down their enemies wit’ th’ help 'o sea creatures. Their ship be called “Poseidon”
  31. Band 'o pirates that set out to be villains accidentally return as jolly guys by screwin’ plans up
  32. Ye be a feared scurvy pirate who can control all th’ monsters roamin’ th’ seven seas, however ye worst enemy can control th’ oceans themselves.
  33. tell an entire tale in pirate talk, me hearty…
  34. Ye character just got accepted into MIT 'n be sailin’ towards th’ “scurvy pirate Certificate” (pistols, riflery, rowin’, fencin’.) wee do they be knowin’ that these courses be taught by actual band 'o pirates.
  35. An underground illegal racin’ rig has be started that involves scurvy pirate ships battlin’ though a rum track in a Need fer Speed style wit’ steampower-ups included
  36. Ye awaken on a scurvy pirate ship, last thin’ ye remember before 'tis was shoutin’ to a guy in th’ tavern at port. th’ cap'n had bought ye 'n ye be now sailin’ on th’ ship, what happens while ye be at sea?
  37. “HAND ME THAT MAP OR SO HELP ME I’LL CUT IT OFF YA HANDS!”
  38. You turn on the Pirate Speak in Minecraft under language options as a joke, but then ye start findin’ that yer land lubber mates in reality arrrre beginnin’ ta talk like ol’ sea dogs, and even tha signs ‘round yer town turn inta Pirate Speak. Soon a squaky bird takes to perchin’ on yer shoulder. Tha townsfolk begin ta ask fer yer okay on things o’ trivial matter. Yer first mate, who lost 'is leg years ago ta scurvy, suddenly had a peg 'stead of a prosthetic. Congrats, matey– yer tha cap'n of tha town
  39. “Arrrr! the hour to loot EA 'o their precious Sims lovely booty!!”
  40. 'tis not uncommon fer a scurvy pirate to loose a hand or a foot on his travels. ye 'n ye crew dig up a chest full 'o hands 'n feet.
  41. Ye swore on a loved one’s grave that ye would someday sail to th’ legendary Grand Arcada, an ocean which none have ever found. this day, ye awoke to find ye ship stolen from ye - 'n th’ strange people seem to be changin’ ye course…
  42. A pirate loses his scurvy pirate accent 'n has to go find a different ship because they don’t fit in anymore.
  43. Ye find an ancient treasure map, 'n indeed, under th’ “X” thar’s buried treasure. But what’s under th’ “Y” 'n “Z”?
  44. Ye cap'n has caught a deadly disease, 'n be on th’ verge 'o Davy Jones’ treasure chest. ye 'n ye crew decide to pull one last raid wit’ them. th’ big one.
  45. Th’ band 'o pirates 'n th’ vampires have come to together to stop th’ ultimate evil. How do ye defend yourself?
  46. Cap'n Gus has a secret, his magic beard grows more wild 'n tangled wit’ every wind it ensnares. Cuttin’ a hair causes a mild breeze, a lock 'o his beard unleashes a strong wind. Now, captured 'n condemned to execution, he asks if he could shave
  47. Ye be th’ cap'n 'o th’ most infamous scurvy pirate ship on th’ seven seven seas, ye 'n ye crew have be through pretty much everythin’ together. Currently ye be on th’ hunt fer mer-people, they fetch high prices on th’ black market fer their beauty. What ye crew dont be knowin’ however be that ye be a mer-person 'n ye 'n ye kind only have tails when ye peglegs get wet.ye’re in th’ middle 'o a bath in ye quarters when ye first matey bustles in to speak to ye 'bout th’ ship’s course.
  48. Ye be a notorious scurvy pirate. ye’ve always be able to outrun th’ navy, but 'tis the hour they’re gainin’ on ye. ye agree to make a deal wit’ one 'o th’ lesser captains. What do they shout to ye?
  49. Arr, ye main character be kidnapped by a scurvy pirate at sea! It turns out th’ sea isn’t what it seems to be when he throws ye overboard to die….
  50. Ye cap'n has be noticeably feelin’ down, how does one scurvy pirate cheer up their cap'n back to their jolly self?
  51. What do ye do wit’ a drunken sailer?
  52. Ye’re a pirate who’s totally new to th’ business 'o stealin’ treasure from authoritative figures 'n don’t really be knowin’ what ye’re doin’. Suddenly, a dragon shows up 'n offers to tutor ye in piracy. What next?
  53. “What be land? I have forgotten.”
  54. Ye’re an undercover employee 'o th’ british government onboard a pirate ship on 'tis way to an uncharted island. ye mission be to find out what th’ band 'o pirates be goin’ thar fer.
  55. A pirate wit’ a rubber duck hand instead 'o a rusted hook
  56. Lesbian pirate flirtin’ wit’ sirens
  57. Ye were sent by th’ British government to spy on a notorious cap'n. ye join his crew 'n climb up th’ ranks 'til ye become his first matey. A few days before ye be to betray him, he tells ye a secret that changes everythin’. What be it?
  58. Th’ cap'n has gone missin’ overnight. ye, a mere chef, be th’ only one who can manage to control th’ crew. ye need to find whar ye cap'n has gone to.
  59. She was they best cap'n to sail th’ sea’s. She was Black Beard.
  60. Band 'o pirates be pillagin’ ye village, lookin’ fer somethin’. What they’re lookin’ fer be a wee unorthodox
  61. Th’ year be th’ far future, 'n space travel has be achieved. th’ human race has be denied entry into th’ galactic federations set up hundreds 'o years before their time. So, instead, we become space band 'o pirates. All 'o us.
  62. All ye pirates be sufferin from th’ evil scurvy, no matter how much citrus or undercooked meat they brin’ on th’ poop deck. they shout yer crews favoured wi th’ devil, but wee do they be knowin’ ye’ve just found th’ third cure to th’ scurvy
  63. “fer th’ last the time, don’t be puttin’ me tattered eyepatch in th’ dryer!”
  64. Ye look almost exactly like th’ female version 'o ye twin brother. Unfortunately, ye twin brother just so happens to be th’ notorious cap'n 'o a pirate crew. One day, he be killed, 'n th’ crew asks ye to pretend to be him so as to continue
  65. Th’ mermaid they pulled from th’ ocean turns out to be a jolly fighter. Maybe too jolly. Sh just killed th’ cap'n.
  66. Ye got scurvy. How ya gonna hide it from th’ cap'n?
  67. Ye pirate ship be stuck in 5 O'clock traffic. Somehow.
  68. Ye’re a stowaway on th’ dreaded cap'n LongBeard’s ship, tryin’ to find out whar he hides his treasure. Only problem be, ye’ve gotten caught sneakin’ around below deck.
  69. Ye’re th’ only jolly scurvy pirate in ye crew. ye’ve be tryin’ to keep it a secret, but then ye ship happens to sail past a group 'o sirens…
  70. Ye command one 'o th’ fiercest scurvy pirate ships in th’ seven seas. Just th’ mention 'o ye crew sends fear into th’ hearts 'o men 'n women. th’ only thin’ be, ye’ve never stepped foot on a boat.
  71. Ye’ve be travelin’ th’ seven seas fer a while now. Nothin’ can stand in ye way; ye 'n ye crew be unstoppable. 'til one thin’ crossed ye paths. What be that one thin’ 'n how do ye overcome it?
  72. Ye be th’ toughest scurvy pirate around. ye won many fights, pillaged many towns, 'n plundered dozens 'o ships. nothin’ could stand in ye way to riches, not even- oh god be that a baby on ye ship? who brought a baby?
  73. Ye be sailin’ th’ seven seven seas when yer lovely booty grows peglegs 'n starts swimmin’ off. How do ya catch a swimmin’ treasure hoard?
  74. Ye be a sea cap'n. Suddenly, ye ship lifts into th’ air. ye’re bein’ raided by sky band 'o pirates!
  75. Due to men believin’ eatin’ fruit was too feminine, th’ seven seas be now ruled by female band 'o pirates who beat their weakened males counterparts. Now, ye’re at a parrrty drinkin’ ornge spiced juice wit’ th’ victors.
  76. All ye pirates knows only women be sailors. Can ye think 'o anythin’ more unlucky than to have a scurvy dog onboard a ship? Still, rumour has it that th’ fiercest scurvy pirate ship 'o them all has a only-male crew.
  77. Ye meet Sodomy McScurvyLegs 'n buy a fitness regime. It opens up a whole new seven seas fer ye, an endless sea 'o knowledge… 'bout lovely booty.
  78. Turns out 'tis eyepatch be cursed to ne'er come off! Too bad ye put it on t’ wrong eye!
  79. Yrr secret island has been made into a parking lot and is overrun by scurvy lawyers while you were pirating. How do you fight lawyers? Your treasure is under that asphalt.
  80. Th’ cap'n 'o a magical sailin’ pirate ship takes several orphans under her proverbial win’s as new crew members
  81. “I lost m'hand to a shark, but I lost me eye to…”
  82. A rollickin’ scurvy pirate adventure from th’ point 'o view 'o th’ ship’s sea monster: th’ cat
  83. A classic pirate adventure wit’ a cursed object. Part 'o th’ curse be that th’ scurvy pirate cap'n 'n crew can never leave th’ ship 'n must come up wit’ creative ways to plunder, pillage, 'n eventually break th’ curse.
  84. Cuddle band 'o pirates- th’ fluffiest, snuggliest scurvy pirate crew ye can imagine, inexplicably survivin’ through skill 'n pluck in a grimdark hyper-edgy universe, rebellin’ against th’ grim 'n gritty status quo wit’ unflinchin’ optimism 'n hugs.
  85. “How th’ muck did ye get onto me ship 'n why be ye naked”
  86. “So ye meanin’ to be tellin’ me th’ map, which ye bought off a street vendor at Ivery Island, be an authentic map that leads to a literal buried treasure. scurvy dog, speak 'bout cliche.”
  87. Ye be highly disappointed when ye discover that th’ famous deadly 'Kraken’ be actually just a nutcracker.
  88. Two pirates travel th’ seven seas lookin’ fer lovely booty, but it turns out all they really want be each others lovely booty
  89. Ye finally come home from a year at sea 'n have to explain to ye main wench how ye got syphillis
  90. A scurvy pirate find th’ greatest treasure to be had: an island covered in lovely booty.
  91. Ye’re a pirate explorin’ uncharted waters when suddenly a giant hand made out 'o rum rises out 'o th’ ocean holdin’ a small baby wrapped in seaweed. th’ hand places th’ younglin’ on th’ deck 'o ye ship 'n disappears back into th’ depths. ye now have a child 'n a lot 'o questions.
  92. captains, greedy 'n tough 'n mean. But th’ strange thin’ 'bout him be that he wears a metal mask, 'n no one in th’ crew has ever seen him without it. One nightfall, ye resolve to spy wit’ ye eye th’ cap'n’s real face, so ye sneak into his cabin 'n sneak a peek 'o him sans mask. 'n what ye spy wit’ ye eye makes it clear to ye why ye cap'n would hide his face.
  93. Perhaps givin’ band 'o pirates Google Maps wasn’t th’..best idea
  94. Ye somehow became a pirate cap'n. One problem - ye be knowin’ nothin’ 'bout navigation…or ships…or fightin’ in general. But ye look well in a pirate coat 'n a hat, so thar be that.
  95. Ye’ve be captured by pirates, 'n thrown in th’ brig. th’ cap'n’s trusty parrot flies in, 'n says he can help ye escape.
  96. “Matey, yer lovely booty be th’ only one I be diggin’ fer t'night.”
  97. Ye’ve found pirate treasure by sheer dumb luck, but now th’ ghost 'o th’ lady pirate it belonged to be hauntin’ ye. 'n if that wasn’t that be all you can take, she’s got a crush on ye.
  98. Yer on a boat when suddenely yer First Mate throws 'imself over with no apparent reason. You dive in after him and find a grotto. What’s beyond it?
  99. Ye be that one guy on th’ ship that can swim. Somethin’ has jammed th’ rudder, stoppin’ th’ ship from makin’ it to port.
  100. Pretend ye’re a pirate 'n ye’ve just buried ye treasure. Draw a map 'n scribe below detailed instructions on how to find it again.

What prompt do ye like th’ most? Reblog if ye be a true scurvy pirate.

The Friendly Wager (Part 1)

Summary: AU. Reader and Bucky Barnes are neighbors and best friends. After yet another bad date, reader comes home to find Bucky with his typical weekend target. They decide to make a wager about dating, but is there more on the line than reader cares to admit?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,528

Warnings: language, fluff, sarcasm, bad date, implied sexual situations (no smut)

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely Kait’s ( @bionic-buckyb) 5k AU Challenge. Congrats on the followers, friend! My prompt was “Can you please come over so I don’t feel so alone?” I think this will have at least seven parts, so Kait, please feel free to disregard it till it’s completed :)

Part 1 - 2

Originally posted by talkinboutmyimagination

Keep reading

isak and even are in isak’s room, browsing through the “thrillers” section on netflix (because even says he’s in the mood for a little suspence) and there’s a knock on the door and they hear linn say “hey, did you guys take my box of cookies?” and the truth is that said box is right there on isak’s lap, and isak looks at even and mouths “oops”. when he opens the door, the box in his hand, he tells linn “it’s been there for like a month and i wasn’t sure whose cookies they were but, hm” he looks inside the box and continues “there’s a couple left” and he hands it to linn and she just stares at him for a few seconds, expressionless, and says “it’s fine, keep it”, turns around and leaves 

isak asks even “am i an ass?” and even laughs a little and ruffles isak’s hair and says “nah, just a hungry teenager”. and isak moves away from even’s hand and looks at him with a mischievous smile on his face and he replies “totally hungry” playfully, before he leans in and gently cover even’s nose with his teeth, not really bitting down and even doesn’t try to free himself, simply teases “it smells like chocolate chip cookies in there. actually, it smells like stolen chocolate chip cookies” and isak takes his mouth off his nose and replies “hey! i thought you said i wasn’t an ass”, all pouty and grumpy and even can’t help but smile at him. “you aren’t, but you did take linn’s cookies. and now she doesn’t have any”. isak sighs, rests his head on even’s shoulder and says “we could go get her another box?” 

they do end up going to the store, but instead they buy the ingredients they need to make the cookies themselves (except for eggs, which isak says he already has at home). and then they’re in the kitchen, and even places the ingredients on the counter, opens the fridge and grabs two eggs, says “catch!” before he slowly throws one in isak’s direction. isak does catch it and looks at him with wide eyes and warns “if you make a mess, you’re the one cleaning” and even simply cups his face, plants a quick kiss on his forehead and his nose and his mouth and his chin and says “i won’t”. and then they make the cookies, even telling isak the measurements. “two cups of chocolate chips”, which isak adds to the dough, and then he adds an extra handful, says “it’ll taste way better like this. more chocolate, better cookies” and even chuckles. “yes, chef valtersen” 

when the cookies are done, they knock on linn’s door, a platter in isak’s hands. even asks “liiiiinn, our dear linn, are you hungry for some amazing, delicious homemade cookies, made with a lot love and a whole lot of chocolate chips?” and there’s a short silence before they hear her say “thanks, but i’m not really hungry right now”. isak looks at even and shrugs and he tells linn “well, we made a lot, let us know when you want some, okay?” and they hear a muffled “mmhm” from behind the door 

they start to watch the usual suspects, isak all cuddled up against even, an arm around even’s stomach, a leg wrapped over his. a few minutes later, linn’s knocking on the door and asking “cookies kind of smelled nice, can i have some?” and isak tells her “come in, linn!” she doesn’t flinch when she sees them on the bed, linn really doesn’t mind displays of affection as long as they’re silent. even hands her the platter and asks her “hey, feel like watching a movie?” and linn frowns a little. “is it moulin rouge again?” and even replies “nah, it’s not moulin rouge”. he opens his free arm (the one that’s not holding isak close) as an invitation and linn sits next him, cookie platter on her lap, and even wraps an arm around her as she bites into one of the cookies. isak lifts his head up a little, and when even looks at him in the eyes, they exchange a knowing smile 

anonymous asked:

ever since their comeback, i've been obsessed with jaebum, so maybe a little something for him? please and thank you!

  • chef!jaebum 
  • owns a restaurant that he worked blood, sweat, and tears for and his EVERYTHING
  • his speciality is taking traditional korean dishes and putting a new twist on them and,,,,people ADORE it,,,,,especially young people he’s been featured on blogs and in youtube videos so much
  • also like,,,,,,,he’s so handsome people go there just to get pictures of him
  • probably a fanclub exists for him somewhere on twitter
  • is really stern and particular with his staff. most of them haven’t seen him smile during service hour,,,,,,,,,,but everyone sees this big grin on his face when he gets fresh produce delivered
  • because he buys locally and farmers with come by and jaebum is so polite and sweet with them because most of them are older and it’s cute he’ll be holding a bag of cabbages and be smiling like he’s holding a puppy
  • you’re just a line cook, but you’re subjected to jaebum’s sternness and micromanaging just like everyone else,,,but unlike your colleagues who find something to complain about his personality,,,,,you think it pushes you
  • and when he yells you just get super fired up and shout back yES chef and you do your best to go beyond his standards
  • and it’s sad because you don’t think he ever notices but one night it’s just you two closing up the restaurant and suddenly jaebum turns to you and is like “you’ve improved recently. good job” and you basically wanna jump up and down because a compliment????? A COMPLIMENT?????
  • and you’re like uh- u h,,,, ah,,,,t,,,,t,han,,,,,thank,,,,,y,,,,,you and jaebum nods, hiding a smile buy looking down
  • and as you’re saying goodbye, bowing a hundred times jaebum is like “where do you live?” and you tell him and he’s like “oh,,,,ill drive by there. ill drop you off.”
  • sooo you’re in the car,,,,with your handsome boss who you idolize,,,,,,and you’re sweating and so is jaebum 
  • and you’re both sitting in nervous silence until you’re like I,,,,,JUSt WANT TO THANK  YOU,,,,,,FOR GIvING ME THiS!!! Job!!!
  • and jaebum is like no no no im thankful you work for me,,,,
  • and you look at him, with his hand on the wheel and his sharp features and you’re likes,,,,,he’s so gorgeous
  • except you don’t think this. you say this. out loud. and jaebum turns to you 
  • and is like “me?” and you’re like UM and he’s like “you’re,,,,,very good looking yourself.”
  • and you’re like WHAT and he’s like,,,,,,,,,,you’re a good cook and ,,, a pr- coughs pret- ty one as well
  • and you’re like ,,,,two compliments in one night im dreaming
  • and once jaebum stops in front of your home you’re like debating if you should just go or not
  • but then you lean over to kiss his cheek and you’re like AS A THANK YOU ,, fOR,,,,,,,driVIng mE,,,,,
  • and you open the door and dash out
  • and jaebum is sitting there, in shock, slowly turning red in the face before dropping face  first on his steering wheel because gOsh you’re so cute,,,,,,

Vincent Price is remembered for starring in such genre favorites as House of Wax, The Fly, House on Haunted Hill, The Last Man on Earth, The Pit and the Pendulum, and Edward Scissorhands - but did you know he was also a noted gourmet chef?

Yes, the distinguished actor was a foodie before the term existed, publishing several cookbooks throughout his career. One such book was Cooking Price-Wise, a collection of Price’s favorite international cuisine recipes, based on the same-named cooking show he hosted in the 1970s.

You can eat like a horror icon on October 18, when the out-of-print cookbook is reissued via Calla Editions. Cooking Price-Wise is currently available for pre-order for $19.95.

This expanded hardcover edition features a preface by Price’s daughter, Victoria; a foreword by his son, V.B; a bonus section with baking recipes from Vincent’s grandfather, the inventor of baking powder; journal entries from Price’s trip to Europe as a 17-year-old; and a selection of family favorites from Victoria Price’s childhood.

Keep reading

the art of slaying dragons

“Cooking is at once child’s play and adult joy. And cooking done with care is an act of love.”
― Craig Claiborne

Nalu | Chef/RivalsToLovers AU
part 1/? 

words: 1475
rated: M
read: all

I can’t even believe it myself, but I am… back?! And it feels great. :’) I know I haven’t written in ages but I hope you haven’t forgotten me entirely my pals my buddies my frends… and this time around I’m writing about one of the great loves of my life: food. ;) Well, maybe not only about food. But there will be food. Yum.

 Cooking, despite what some might try to tell you, is an art.

It is art, and it is magic. There is art in an idea, in the careful execution, in the swirls and patterns of thoughtful arrangement on a simple plate. There is magic in old, scribbled recipes that endure time, in the love you pour into your creations, in that first bite. It is in the smiles of the people who taste your food, in the way they come to know you without ever having met you, because you took a part of your soul and held it to their lips.

The art of cooking—

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!”

Resisting the urge to hurl her pen against the next wall, Lucy Heartfilia leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. Maybe this was why she had not become a food critic in the end. As much as she loved writing, it did not come easy to her. It was hard. What she could do, however – what she had taught herself to do with passion and endurance – was to create dishes that spoke for her. Or at least she hoped that was what she did. Some days, she didn’t know anymore.

Maybe this wasn’t the best time in her life to be writing an article for a renowned food magazine, when she wasn’t even sure if she deserved to be in it. With a heavy sigh, she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and tried to focus on the task at hand.

But she did not finish it that night, or the night after.


“Chef, appetizer for table six is ready to go.”

“Thanks, Cana. Gajeel, ready to go on the main?”

“Aye.”

“Cana, send it out. Gajeel, start in five. I want this energy to continue, alright team?”

“Yes, Chef!”

Lucy was in her element. She was in control. Everything happening was happening as it should; the magic (as she liked to call it) was flowing splendidly tonight. Yesterday’s doubts were still in the back of her mind, the anxiety over that new restaurant across the street a thorn in her side, but for tonight she pushed it all away. This year, she reassured herself, would be the year she would finally earn her first michelin star.

There was no one who could do it like Lucy Heartfilia. No restaurant that could rival The Fairy’s Tail, not in this street or this city or the entire fucking country. She had to believe this.

“Chef. Chef! Lucy!”

Blinking away her stupor, Lucy gave a start. She found herself confronted with the stern face of her head waitress, Aquarius. She swallowed. The scowl on her face bode nothing well.

“The guest at table seven asked to speak to you.”

All that Lucy heard in her tone and bearing was ‘What did you do wrong now, silly girl?’ but she merely nodded and skidded away from the woman’s likely wrath. Lucy might be her boss, but god, could Aquarius still be scary after all these years.

Scary, too, was the prospect of meeting that guest. It didn’t help that Aquarius had not hinted at the nature of the request. Would she be met with a complaint or a compliment?

Pondering this simple yet nerve-wrecking question, she made her way through the kitchen doors and out into the dining area, into her restaurant. For Lucy, it was the kitchen which felt most like home: this was where she lived as much as she worked. But here, amidst neatly decked tables and careful arrangements, amidst the sound of conversation, softly clinking cutlery and low laughter, here was where the soul of her restaurant lay. It felt good to remember that from time to time. Here, what she did felt easy and joyful and right. The blood, sweat and tears that had brought her to this point lay behind her, forgotten easily in the face of what her work could accomplish. Steaming plates, inviting dishes, colourful details… it all looked so simple, despite the hours of thought so many people had put into it. Her food brought people together; it made them smile.

And that was all she had ever wanted, in a way.

The table she was headed for was one of the small ones close to the wall, with the soft emerald cushions. There was only one person sitting there, comfortably lodged between table and wall, looking entirely at peace with the world. Some of the tension dropped off Lucy’s shoulders. His eyes moved and caught her approaching, and the smile that spread across his face lit up his eyes in a way that was, she found, entirely pleasant. A very good, content smile.

Her initial impression, however, was quickly redacted when she arrived at the table and he opened his mouth. 

Keep reading

kixboxer  asked:

top 5 ways mari intimidates/threatens viktor for reasons of protecting her baby brother

  1. the first time is when she’s still bringing up victor’s boxes of shit to the banquet room, and yuuri’s helping him unpack.  he’s excitedly holding up a pair of victor’s skates with the custom gold blades.  “they’re beautiful,” he says in english, and victor beams.

    “yeah,” she agrees, catching his eye. “they look sharp too.  it would be a pity if someone had an… accident.”
  2. mari’s dating a chef in saga, and after yuuri gets gold at the cup of china, she invites yuuri and victor out to his restaurant to celebrate.  yuuri excuses himself to use the bathroom when the food begins coming out, and mari’s gaze locks onto victor immediately.  

    “do you know what this is, victor?” she asks, gesturing to a large, round dish with thin slices of white fish delicately displayed like a flower in bloom.  he shakes his sweet, dumb labrador head no.  “it’s called fugu.  blowfish.”

    “wow! a delicacy!” victor says excitedly.  “you have to have a license to prepare it, don’t you?”

    “yes, My-Boyfriend-The-Chef had to train for three years just to be able to serve it.  otherwise,” she says, dragging her finger across her neck, “it will poison you.  the liver is supposed to be the tastiest part, but it is also the most poisonous.” 

    “is there any liver on this plate?” victor asks.  he’s smiling, but yuuri has told her once or twice that the bigger victor smiles, the less genuine it is.  

    “no, it’s illegal to serve,” mari says.  “but just know, victor.”

    “yes?” he asks, smile almost to the edges of his face. it looks painful.

    “i know where to get it.  and the second you break my brother’s heart, i would be very careful with what you eat.  it would be a shame if blowfish liver found it’s way into one of victor nikiforov’s dinners.”

    victor’s face looks ready to break.  he doesn’t touch the fugu.
  3. “i’m glad my brother will be with you in russia,” she tells him at the airport, hugging him.  “that way if you mistreat him there will be a lot more cold, hard ground to bury your body than there is in hasetsu.  they would never find you.”
  4. mari RSVP’s with a plus one to the wedding, but when she shows up it’s a guy that yuuri and victor have never seen.  he’s missing half of his fingers and has a tattoo that crawls up his neck, and he spends the first three toasts flipping the steak knife at his banquet table between his fingers while maintaining prolonged eye contact with victor.  
  5. every year she sends nengajo on new years.  they always read “happy new year! i won’t hesitate to make victor’s death look like an accident if he hurts you.  love, mari.”  yuuri always laughs and sticks it to the fridge with a magnet.  “she’s so funny,” he says, while victor hears the kill bill sirens going off in the distance, a cold current running down his spine.  
5

In case you need proof I still exist - I do!

It’s been a busy few years since I started NMR. As of this summer, I’ve completed my masters (I like to joke and say I joined the WMBA instead of just saying I got my MBA because I’m, well, the worst). I also now have a full-time job I LOVE and managed to buy a freaking HOUSE this spring with the love of my life! It didn’t have working plumbing, but it’s ours and we worked our butts off to fix it up!

Anyway, long story short I’m still here and so is this blog. Now that school is over I’m going to reinvest more time in this amazing resource we’ve built together. So, keep submitting your recipes! I’ll keep posting them, while throwing in a few of my own. Love y'all, little chefs!

PS - Yes, that’s a photo of me with four random golden retrievers I met at the farmer’s market. Obviously it’s included as my biggest accomplishment of 2017 thus far.

anonymous asked:

For the 100 ways to say "I love you" may i request 37 or 100 for Wolfstar

Can I kiss you?


“I didn’t know you could cook.”

Sirius turned briefly over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes at Remus’ bemused smile. He turned back to the stove and continued his slow stirs of the bolognese sauce he was attempting, “There are many things you don’t know about me, Lupin.”

Remus chuckled, pushing off from where he was leaning against the refrigerator and taking two strides to instead rest his hip against the counter next to Sirius, “Lupin?”

Sirius craned his neck to see his recipe book without having to halt his movements, “Yes. Lupin. Now, don’t distract me. I said I’d make you dinner, you always say I never make dinner. So, naturally, here I am, making you dinner.”

“Making us dinner, you mean.” Remus swiped a cooling piece of garlic bread from the counter, “In our new apartment.”

Sirius’ concentration softened a little at that, and Remus caught the smile he tried to hide, “Yes. Ours.” He looked at Remus, soft smile breaking through for just a moment before it slid off his face, “No! You can’t eat that yet, what- what are you doing?” He dropped the spoon on the pan, swiping the bread from Remus’ fingers and setting it back on the plate. He pointed a very stern finger at Remus, eyebrows raised, “Not yet.”

Remus grinned, pressing off the counter and sliding just behind Sirius, hands on his hips, leaning his head down so the soft hairs that curled by Sirius’ ears tickled his lips, “Just one?”

No.” Sirius drew out the word then cursed, “Shit. See, you’re going to make me burn it.” He picked up the spoon and resumed his careful sifting, “I have to make sure nothing stays on the bottom too long. It’ll burn otherwise.”

“Can I taste that, at least?”

No, you cannot.” Sirius laughed, squirming slightly in Remus’ arms, “It’ll be ready in ten minutes, just- calm down. Lupin.”

Remus grumbled lowly in his throat at that, pressing the spoon from Sirius’ hand and turning him around and against him in one motion, enjoying the way the breath left Sirius’ lungs.

Sirius put a hand against his chest, just at the dip between his ribs, “And before you ask, you can’t taste the chocolate cake. That’s last, that’s dessert.”

“Hm.” Remus’ palms spanned Sirius’ back, “Lots of rules in this kitchen of yours.”

Sirius’ back arched against them, pressing his chest further against Remus’, “Yes,” his voice had dropped a few levels, “And you’re suppose to say ‘yes, chef’.” Sirius bit back a smile, “They do that in all the great kitchens. I saw it. On Chef’s Table.”

“Did you?” Remus raised an eyebrow, slowly letting on a smile of his own.

Sirius let out a little sigh, looping his arms around Remus’ neck, “Yes, yes I did. On Netflix.”

“And do the chefs in these so called ‘great kitchens’ allow, say, kissing in their kitchens?”

Sirius snorted, but his fingers were already reaching and winding themselves in Remus’ hair, “Why, are you asking?”

Remus nudged his nose against Sirius’, “Yes, chef.”

Sirius let out a laugh, palm pressing to the back of Remus’ neck, and brought their lips together, still slightly salty from the cheese and crackers they’d been snacking on.

Remus pressed closer, reaching behind Sirius with one hand to flick the stove off. They wouldn’t be needing dinner for a while.


I may or may not have just been watching Chef’s Table. Maybe.