yes this is my dinner



when I was a young boy my father gave me a small loan of a million dollars

He said son when u grow up will you build a wall To keep the Mexicans out

He said will you defeat them the femenists and all the non supporters , the world they want to save

Because one they I’ll leave you a small lone of a million dollar. A phantom to lead you into China and join the 3rd world war

Fanclub

Pairing: Scott x Reader

Request:

Could you do one for Scott? Maybe about him and the reader fangirling over Captain and then they just casually decide to go out or something?


Scott has created a chatroom.

Scott has invited Y/N.

Scott: I HAVE BEEN BLESSED.

Scott: Cap invited me to train with him. You jelly?

Y/N: He invited me to train with him too! You’re not so special, Lang.

Scott: WE’RE GOING TO TAKE SO MANY PICTURES OF HIM!

Y/N: Scott. That’s a bit creepy, don’t you think?

Scott: Oh. I… I didn’t think so, but now that you mention it…

Y/N: I’m going to have to let Steve know.

Scott: Wait, Y/N, no, please!

Y/N: He’s not going to approve.

Scott: ANYTHING BUT HIS DISAPPROVAL!

Y/N: I’m messing with you, lol.

Scott: I was shaking!

Y/N: OMG THE OTHER DAY HE TOLD ME… “HELLO, Y/N.” HE USED MY FIRST NAAAAAAME.

Scott: PFFFT THAT’S NOTHING, YESTERDAY HE HELD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME.

Y/N: We’re so getting kicked off the team if he finds out about our lil club.

Scott: Like that would stop us from stanning him.

Scott: you when you see Cap

Scott:

Y/N: A rare pic of me trying to stop you from doing something stupid when Steve acknowledges your presence.

Y/N:

Phil has joined the chat.

Phil: Hello, amateurs.

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Blessing - Pietro Maximoff x (f)Reader x dad!Stark

Words: 1179
Pairing: Pietro Maximoff x (f)Reader x dad!Stark
Featuring: Clint Barton
Warnings: lotta love, cheesy ending.
Requested by anon
Pietro goes to Dad!Tony to ask for his blessing to marry reader. Tony’s not to keen on the idea because it’s speedy, but he makes reader happy and that’s all he can ask for as a loving father. Fluff ‘n’ stuff please.
Authors Note: I’m sorry this took so long to get out, I have been very unmotivated recently. Just happy it’s finally done :)

Pietro Masterlist. Masterlist.


“Tony, I need to talk to you!” Pietro ran around the base all day, trying to find your father long enough to get him to speak. Tony kept dodging Pietro and hiding from him by saying that he had to do work all over the base.

Clint rolled his eyes when Tony ran into the kitchen. “I swear, Tony, if you do not talk toPietro he’s going to explode. Just give him a few minutes to talk. He’s your daughter’s boyfriend, what if it’s important?” Of course, Clint knew what Pietro wanted to talk about; he’s basically Pietro’s father.

And Clint wasn’t lying; it was one of the most important things that could happen. “I don’t want to talk to him; he makes me mad! And to know he is having…intercourse… with my daughter does not make it any better for me,” Tony argued.

Clint cocked his head and rolled his eyes. “Come on; they have been dating for nearly two years. Give him a break; he’s really not that bad.”

Tony slowly turned his head to look at Clint. “You know what this is about, don’t you?” Tony walked closer.

“What? No, no, what gave you any idea that I know what he wants? No, psh, no!” Clint lied as he stood up to get away from Tony.

“Clint, get your ass back here!” Tony shouted and ran after Clint, but was stopped by a gust of wind.

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Anonymous said: Can you please writer where the reader meets jeff’s family ( you can pick if they are dating or not but either way jeff 100% never shuts up about the reader to his parents) and atkin’s family embarrassment ensues haha

Author’s Note: So I couldn’t come up with any shenanigans, so I double whammied Jeff&Y/N. Lets just say that both sets of parents ship it. And not afraid to be vocal about it ;) I’m sorry it didn’t come out as you hopefully expected.

Originally posted by qrunge-alexxaa

Jeff X Reader

“Jeff. Jeff!” You laugh. “Stop stuffing your face and drive.”

“But it’s s'good!” He mumbles, shoving another spoonful of chili frito into his mouth.

You pull your phone out, taking a video as his cheeks puff out with all the food he’s stuffed into them while you’re stopped at a stop sign. He had surprised you by driving you an hour into the big city for a major league baseball game and the two of you sat in the middle of crowd, cheering and booing and stuffing yourselves full of ball game food. But Jeff- Jeff couldn’t get enough of their chili frito and even ordered another tray right after the game had ended.

A car honks from behind Jeff’s car, you cackling as Jeff startles in surprise. He laughs directly at your phone’s camera, he then passing over his food to you before driving away. You quickly edit a small piece of the video to add to Instagram for everyone to see just how much your best friend is better than theirs, and then settle in for the drive home while eating half of Jeff’s food.

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Win Your Heart

So, today was a snow day and I was able to work on Fragile Design, including ironing out some tricky plot points (thanks to @optomisticgirl for her wonderful thoughts and encouragement).  Now, I’m sitting here and thinking as my husband makes dinner (yes, I’m a lucky girl) and I need to write something short and sweet and involving no major plot other than references to potential impending storylines to come.

(also I’ve spent the past week re-immersing myself in @msgenevieve447‘s writing and loving every minute of it…this is an ode to her as well because she’s one of the people in this fandom than inspired me to write and I owe her much for that)

This little drabble is based on one of my all time favorite Captain Swan conversations, a piece of which is below:

Originally posted by the-queen-of-hell-things

Ah, yes…under the cut, for smutty reasons (you know how I do)…

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@kpopfanfictrash, @the-porcelain-doll-xo, anyone else who’s into BTS…. pls….I need fic recs… especially for the Softest bun Taehyung ;~; but all of them rlly

Delicious dinner


Summary: While your father and Carl are away you decide to cook them a meal but you get an unexpected visit from Negan.
Warnings: smut, light choking, Negan’s vocabulary

Your father and Carl were out again scavenging for Negan. Which meant that you were left alone to look after Judith and the house. You decided to prepare dinner for everyone when they get back, so you headed to the kithen and grabbed everything you needed to prepare a delicious dish. It was around 6pm when you heard the rumbling of an engine. Looking through the window of your house you saw that familiar RV which didn’t belong to your father and your heart skipped a beat. The vehicles came to an end and out of one came Negan. He was greeted by one of the people from Alexandria. They were talking about something but you couldn’t make out what they were saying. Suddenly Negan’s head turned to your house and saw you staring through the window. He smiled and nodded his head then headed towards your house.

You heard the opening of a door. “Open up it’s the big bad wolf!” the deep sound of Negan’s voice boomed throughout the house.

“My father isn’t here!” you hurriedly tried to explain before he could invite himself further inside the house. But of course that didn’t stop him, he walked through the hallway and sat on the sofa in the living room with you trailing behind him.

“Well, I guess I’m going to have to fucking wait for him then.” He placed his baseball bat near him and laid down on the sofa with his hands behind his head as if he owned this house. “Wait a minute… do I smell food?” he asked as the scent of cooked food was filling the house.

“Yes, I was just preparing dinner for my family.” You tried to explain as you fiddled with your hands.

“Well fucking thank you! My stomach was just starting to eat itself, so hurry up and set the fucking table. Bring that little angle, too. We are going to eat like a fucking family!” he said happily with a big smile on his face. You didn’t want to disobey him so you quickly ran upstairs to pick up Judith and brought her downstairs. You started putting plates and utensils on the table while Negan slowly walked and sat on one of the chairs. When you were done you joined Negan on the opposite side of the table. Unfortunately, he had other plans and he quickly made a noise of disapproval with his tongue.

“No, sweetheart, come and sit close to me.” You stood up from your safe place and moved to sit next to him. He looked at you with a smug expression on his face while he was eating but you didn’t want to make eye contact with him. Just when you were about done eating he put his hand on your thigh and started rubbing it, you bit your lip before a moan left your lips. The dress that you were wearing slowly started to rise up due to his hand.

“Do you know you’re giving me a fucking hard on when you play housewife like that?” He whispered in your ear which gave you goosebumps. You cleared your throat and stood up from your chair.

“Are you done? Can I clean the dishes?” you asked as if nothing happened and reached for the dishes. As you were walking away you heard him say “Oh, honey I’m just getting started.” You turned on the water and started cleaning the dishes. You looked through your window and saw that it was pitch black, no one was outside. You felt Negan’s presence behind you.

“I’m sure your crew is waiting outside for you. You should leave.” your voice was harsh and it made Negan sigh with amusement.

“Are you sure you want me to, sweetheart?” he asked, his breath tickling your neck as he pressed himself against your back. Your breath caught in your throat when his beard started rubbing against the skin on the back of your neck leaving soft kisses. In an attempt to push him off while squirming you ended up rubbing his groin. Negan laughed at your failed athempt and pushed you further against the sink, trapping you between his body and the sink.

“I can’t someone will find out.” You said looking out the window that is just above the sink.

“I’m sure no one is up this fucking late.” Negan whispered raspily, before he slid his hand under your red dress and into your underwear while his other one wrapped tightly around your waist so your chance of escape was limited… not that you wanted to escape. Your breath was getting heavier by the second and you felt as if your heart was going to burst out of your chest. He continued softly kissing your neck which made you softly moan at the sensation.

“Do you know how fucking hard you make me every time I see you. And that dress, fuck your giving me blue balls just by looking at you.” He huskily whispered into your neck, as moans and groans started steadily filling the house, he finally inserted a finger into your wet cunt and started pumping it. Soon after he added another one and you started rolling your hips against Negan’s palm. The way his fingers curled inside you hitting that certain spot made your eyes roll back.

“Fuck, Negan, please, make me come.” You whispered-yelled when you began to feel the heat in your lower stomach.

You began to grind your hips against his palm, trying to get the most satisfaction out of the situation. Moans began to fill the room each one louder than the last. Thankfully the walls where very thick for your sounds to transfer outside. From the window you could see that most houses had their lights off, which meant that they have gone to sleep.

Without any warning he pulled his fingers out and hooked them around your panties bringing them down easily. You stepped out of them and Negan grabbed your leg to put it on top of the counter. He pulled your dress up and slapped your ass once. Now he had an easier access to fucking you.

“Do you want my big dick in your tight little pink pussy.” He roared and you heard the sound of a zipper and the rustling of pants.

“Oh god yes, please Negan fuck me!” you literally begged him. You hadn’t had sex in god knows how long and you needed it. He slid in easily and gave you almost no time to adjust when he set the pace. He was hitting the perfect spot to take you over the edge and you didn’t know how long you could last. You grabbed the sink for support until your knuckles where turning white. He grabbed your throat firmly but not too tight to hurt you.

“Negan I’m close, fuck, harder, yeah right there!” you were encouraging him as you were nearing your climax.

“That’s it baby come on my dick, squeeze that tight little pussy around me.” His dirty talk was enough to get you thought the edge. He continued to trust into you as you rode your climax off. When he was done he zipped his pants up and started walking towards Lucille. It took you time to put yourself back together but once you looked somewhat presentable you followed quickly after him.

“Well, thanks for the delicious dinner, but my crew is waiting for me.” He smirked and started walking to the door. “I’m sure I’ll be coming here quite often.” He said as he shut the door behind him.

Scorpius chats with Ron
  • Rose invited Scorpius over for the afternoon one summer to have dinner with them, but Ron insisted on having a chat with him because he thought they were dating, even though Rose insisted that they were not. So, Scorpius sat down and talked to Ron and...
  • Ron: What’s your full name?
  • Scorpius: Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. Some people call me Scorp.
  • Ron: I hear you tease Rose sometimes.
  • Scorpius: Um... *rubs the back of his neck* I used to in first to third year, but we're friends now. I promise I won't do it anymore. Posie- I mean, Rose- is so funny when she's angry, that's all.
  • Ron: So, Scorpius, you’re how old now? *looking gruff and like he’ll shoot Scorpius*
  • Scorpius: Fourteen, sir.
  • Ron: Fourth year, hm?
  • Scorpius: Yep. Same year as Rose. OWLs will be next year, so I’m pretty nervous. I know Posie will do well though, she’s brilliant.
  • Ron: Yes, well, she’s her mother’s daughter. *chuckles* What’s your favourite subject?
  • Scorpius: Potions, because Dad taught me. But Charms is fun when Posie helps me out.
  • Ron: What do you want to be when you grow up?
  • Scorpius: Maybe a Professor. I love Hogwarts. I'm not as good at it, but I think that I’d like to teach Transfiguration though, it’s so cool. McGonagall’s my favourite teacher.
  • Ron: I see. And what about your father and mother, do you get along with them?
  • Scorpius: Well- this is rare, but it happens - Dad loses his temper. He’ll snap at me and Mum. Mum annoys me from time to time. She’s a stickler for dressing up and being clean and all that.
  • Ron: My mum was like that and now my wife is too. Terrible fate, I’ve got.
  • Hermione: I HEARD THAT!
  • Scorpius: *laughs*
  • Ron: You like Wizard chess?
  • Scorpius: Yes, Al and I play all the time in the Slytherin common room.
  • Ron: Really? *chuckles* Reminds me of me and Harry. And what about Quidditch? Do you play?
  • Scorpius: No, sir. I like to watch, though. James is really good and so is that Zabini bloke from my house. And I really love the Chud-
  • Ron: *screams at him and flails his arms* CHUDLEY CANONS?!
  • Scorpius: *looking scared* Uh... y-yeah... it’s my... um...favourite team. Why? Is... is that bad? I'm s-sorry.
  • Ron: *shakes his hand* Welcome to the family!
  • Scorpius: What? But I’m...
  • Ron: My son!
  • Hugo: DAD?!
  • Ron: You Puddlemore supporter!
  • Scorpius: Puddlemore? Hugo, are you off your rockers?
  • Ron: I love this one. I love him. *hugs Scorpius*
  • Scorpius: But sir, Rose and I aren’t even dating. She’s my friend.
  • Ron: What do you think of her?
  • Scorpius: Well... she’s respectable and funny and kind and brave and... *blushes just a bit* maybe a teensy bit pretty?
  • Ron: ROSE!
  • Rose: Yes, Dad? Is dinner ready? I was just working on my History of Magic assignment and I-
  • Ron: You marry this one, okay? *pats him on the back and squeals* He likes Chudley Canons!
  • Rose: What?!
  • Scorpius: What?!
  • Ron: I give up all the things I said about you never marrying a Malfoy. Just go ahead, fall in love! *pushes him towards her* So long as he keeps loving Chudleys. Say, what was your favourite game?
  • Scorpius: But sir...?
  • Ron: *grinning like a fool* Which one? Come on, then.
  • Scorpius: 1988 Winter Games. I saw it on tape with Dad.
  • Ron: I’m calling Draco on the pellyphone to arrange a marriage.
  • Hermione: What? Ron, you can’t! Rose needs to make her own choices. Plus, you hated the Malfoys, why do you change your mind over a Quidditch team?
  • Rose: Dad, I don't want to have an arranged marriage!
  • Ron: *ignoring them* Hello, Malfoy? I’d like to ask a favour...
  • Hermione: RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY!
  • Rose: Um... sorry, my family’s crazy. *blushing*
  • Scorpius: Yep, I can see that. I don’t mind. *smiles at her*
Comforting His Kitten

Pairing: Crowley x Reader
Word count: 1,650
Warnings: Fluff. Cuss word or two. OOC Crowley.
Request: (Anonymous) I wish you would write a fic where Crowley is trying to cheer the reader up but he’s kind of fumbling at it cause hes not used to stuff like that
Request: (Anonymous) do have a fic where crowley comforts the reader, or any requests for one? Ive had a shitty past couple of weeks and im just stressed to the max and it would really be great to read one
Request:( @soinlovewithbandguys ) Toni, you know what sounds amazing? Crowley trying to comfort you when you’re just emotionally overwhelmed like you wanna scream and cry and punch something all at the same time and you just wanna hide in your room and be done with the world, and maybe it happened cause you messed up on a hunt and dean flipped out on you so also some protective crowley? Idk man 😭 I just need some fluffy comforting Crowley

Written for my 2,000 Followers Celebration
Requested by: @lunybird Prompt: Slow Dancing / Quote: “Elvis is still alive”

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Summer Vacation: Steps

First fic for the Olicity Hiatus Fic-a-Thon organized by @thebookjumper. I’d like to the thank @almondblossomme for proofing. Also available on AO3.

I’d like to like to dedicate the is fic to @emmaamelia95 (still May 27th in Canada, sorry it is late for you) as it is her birthday today. 

The story is set in 5x22, an alternate ending to the party.


Oliver began carrying dishes into the loft kitchen. “Thanks again Felicity, this was so nice.”

“Are you sure you weren’t disappointed?” Felicity crinkled her nose. She had been worried that the dinner subterfuge was a bit much.

“About the party? Absolutely not. About dinner,” Oliver looked down.

This Oliver always killed her, he looked like a lost little boy. She knew he just didn’t want to say the wrong thing, so she cut him off at the pass. “I was. I mean, I was disappointed about dinner. I wanted to, I want to go to dinner with you.” God, why was she stumbling over her words? This was Oliver and he had agreed to take steps!

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A Wild Night in Vegas -- Part 13

Here’s the next installment! This is a new record for myself and @outlandishchridhe - 14 PAGES!! I’ll put it below a cut so it doesn’t take up vast amounts of space on all your dashes. If it doesn’t work, as always, let me know and I’ll see if I can get it to you somehow. 

We always have so much fun writing this story and adore all the comments we get from you guys. Writing this is always a source of peace and rest from our hectic lives. Thanks for following along with us in this crazy journey!

Part 12


Fraser Bairn Watch: Month 7

“Miss Beauchamp? A word please?”

Keep reading

[currently nameless AU]

ocelot: papther sorrow

sorrow: yes my child

ocelot: may i have the american canned bean for dinner tonight papther sorrow

sorrow: no ingrate son, mamushka joyous does not milk the potatos all night for you to run your capitalist mouth about pig delicacies 

3

@cataposa I was at the library today for like two seconds and was skimming the Tinkerbell comics and they were super gAY.

Study Session

A little while back, I gave myself a ficlet challenge. One of the asks was for teenage Jamie and Claire, which you can read HERE. The story ended with a promise for another date, so here you go!


“No,” I say, carefully not looking at my uncle.

“Claire,” he says, dragging my name out like it’s a threat.

“I’m going over to Amy’s house. To study. I’ve got exams coming up.”

All of this is true. Well… All of it except going to Amy’s house. I could, she’d invited me over. But so had Jamie Fraser. And, if I’m being perfectly honest, I’d rather be at Jamie’s house.

So here I am, carefully lying to my uncle so he’ll let me go. Uncle Lamb sighs and eventually gives in.

“Is that Bobby boy going to be there?”

I flush, thinking of Jamie’s lips on mine.

“What? No! No he’s out of town.” I hope.

“Good. I expect you home before dinner.”

“Yes Uncle Lamb.”

In my haste to escape, I almost forget my book bag. I grab it at the last second and refrain from skipping out the door.

Jamie is waiting for me where he said he’d be. I can’t believe I lied to my uncle. And got away with it!

“Afternoon, Sassenach.”

“Hi!” I blurt like an idiot.

Get it together, Beauchamp! He’s the most handsome boy in Scotland. Don’t. Mess. Up.

“Sorry,” I say in a more normal voice. “I sort of had to sneak out.”

“Sneak out, did ye? To meet wi’ a boy in an unknown location? For an unknown amount of time? Ye play a dangerous game, Claire.”

Just the way he says my name is sexy. Then I stop and think about what he’s saying. He’s right. Shit.

I hardly know this guy, and here I am practically throwing myself at him! That is not how my mother raised me! Or, how she would have raised me, if she’d still been alive.

Jamie started laughing.

“Ye really didna think about it beforehand, did ye?”

“Well… No, actually. I didn’t really want to think too hard about it.”

“Then I give ye my word, as a Fraser and a Scot, that no harm will come to ye. I promise ye dinna need to be scairt of me, or anyone else, when I am wi’ ye.”

I always thought ‘going weak in the knees’ was one of those stupid expressions that was more metaphor than reality. But I feel my knees beginning to wobble.

Before I can topple over and make a complete fool of myself, his arms are around me. 

Good. God.

His smile is intoxicating. 

“Th-thank you,” I say, hoping and praying he can’t feel my pulse.

“Would it be too corny to say I’ll always catch ye?”

“Probably,” I answer. “But you can say it anyway.”

And then he’s kissing me. It surprises me, but I somehow expected it at the same time. Thankfully, I don’t bite him this time, so the feel of him lingers on my lips even after he’s pulled away.

“Aye, that’s much better,” he says quietly.

“Oh,” I say stupidly. “Is that how it’s supposed to be?”

“Och aye,” he says, helping me steady myself.

He’s so strong, it shouldn’t be possible.

“But it can get so much better. Come wi’ me, lass. I’ve something to show ye.”

Taking my hand in his, he starts off at a brisk walk. I keep up with him, though I have to stretch to do it. Finally he comes to a stop at the crest of a hill, looking down over Scotland. It’s a beautiful thing to behold. Even the strange circle of standing stones, the subject of many Scottish legends, doesn’t take away from the stunning sight before me.

“Oh… Jamie, it’s beautiful,” I tell him.

He smiles and doesn’t drop my hand. It shouldn’t make me so happy.

“I’ve never brought a girl up here before, ken? It’s… It’s a special place to me.”

So he’s handsome, kind, generous, sexy as hell, smart, and romantic? Men like him were only supposed to exist in fairy tales.

“Why did you bring me?”

“Because… you’re special to me, Claire.”

My mouth is open and I couldn’t care less. I’m special to HIM?!

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I mutter, pulling my hand away to stuff in my pocket.

“I’m not! I’m being truthful, Sassenach. I noticed ye years ago, but was too afraid to ask ye out. And then ye had that big crush on that buggar Kevin O’Hara. When he asked out Kitty, I kent I had to make my move.”

“You… James Fraser, most popular boy in our year. James Fraser, who’s smile sends girls to see the nurse. James Fraser, who’s family name is on a wing at school. YOU were afraid to ask ME out?!”

He purses his lips and glares down at me.

“Did I no’ just say that? Christ, Claire. It’s like ye dinna even ken how beautiful ye are! Or how intimidating!”

Our teeth clash together and it hurts, but I don’t care. No one ever speaks to me like this, or about me like this.

“You…” my voice is so quiet I’m sure he can’t hear me. “You think I’m beautiful?”

I turn away from him, not sure how to react to his words.

“Aye. I do. The most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

Slowly, he turns be back to him and lifts my chin so my gaze is forced to meet his. This time, our teeth don’t clack together. His mouth is soft and warm, his lips fitting perfectly with mine. I start standing on my tip toes to reach him, my white knuckles clutching the collar of his shirt.

I have no idea how long we stand there. But I start getting the hang of this kissing thing. His large hands are moving over my back, but always stopping before they go any lower than my waist.

My God can he get any more perfect??

When he pulls away, we both pant heavily. 

“Was that a kiss,” I ask suddenly, having no control over my words. “Or a snog?”

Jamie laughs.

“It was whatever ye want it to be, mo nighean donn. Kissing you is… It’s different, than the others. Like holding a live flame in my arms. And all I want is to be consumed.”

“Yeah,” I agree with a sigh. “It was good for me too.”