yes this is my dinner

If you have a lucid dream, do not commit any acts of violence against the things you meet

by reddit user professionalsuccubus

I had my first lucid dream at age nine.

I was in a decrepit neighborhood – rotting porches, peeling paint, Spanish moss hanging off dormers, the works. Mist swirled around my ankles as I walked slowly through the streets. Like an old video game, the horizon was both unchanging and unreachable.

I wandered around, in and out of the cobwebby houses. Although the streets were empty, the houses usually had a few ghosts floating around. There were a few children, but they were mostly old people, in various stages of decay. They never hurt me, nor did they speak. They just floated. Sometimes they’d follow me, but I never felt threatened.

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when I was a young boy my father gave me a small loan of a million dollars

He said son when u grow up will you build a wall To keep the Mexicans out

He said will you defeat them the femenists and all the non supporters , the world they want to save

Because one they I’ll leave you a small lone of a million dollar. A phantom to lead you into China and join the 3rd world war

  • Sherlock: *lying on the sofa, in his mind palace*
  • Mary: *sighs*
  • Sherlock: ...
  • Mary: The posh boy loves the pathologist.
  • Sherlock: ...
  • Mary: Aren't you listening to me?
  • Sherlock: Nope.
  • Mary: You can't ignore it.
  • Sherlock: *still in his mind palace* Yes, I can. See? This is me. Ignoring it.
  • Mary: The silver fox has been barking up that tree for years.
  • Mary: Meat Dagger's keeping an open mind.
  • Mary: And then there's the consulting criminal-
  • Sherlock: *through gritted teeth* He's dead.
  • Mary: *scoffs* So am I. Doesn't stop me getting in your head.
  • Sherlock: *sighs; sits up* Fine. What do I do?
  • Mary: *shrugs* Not sure. But you might want to hurry up. Silver fox is taking hot doctor death to dinner.
  • Sherlock: *stands up* What? Why didn't you tell me?
  • Mary: *gestures* Coke-brain, remember?
  • Sherlock: *huffs; runs out the door*
  • Mary: COAT!
  • Sherlock: *runs back and grabs his coat; leaves*
  • Mary: KEYS!
  • Sherlock: *hurries in and takes his keys; annoyed* Anything else?
  • Mary: Yeah, don't forget to snog her.
  • Sherlock: *rolls his eyes* See you later, Mary *leaves the flat*

Me: I’m so glad Wonho and Changkyun are getting closer. Their friendship is blooming beautifully!

Also me:

They’re dating.

Fanclub

Pairing: Scott x Reader

Request:

Could you do one for Scott? Maybe about him and the reader fangirling over Captain and then they just casually decide to go out or something?


Scott has created a chatroom.

Scott has invited Y/N.

Scott: I HAVE BEEN BLESSED.

Scott: Cap invited me to train with him. You jelly?

Y/N: He invited me to train with him too! You’re not so special, Lang.

Scott: WE’RE GOING TO TAKE SO MANY PICTURES OF HIM!

Y/N: Scott. That’s a bit creepy, don’t you think?

Scott: Oh. I… I didn’t think so, but now that you mention it…

Y/N: I’m going to have to let Steve know.

Scott: Wait, Y/N, no, please!

Y/N: He’s not going to approve.

Scott: ANYTHING BUT HIS DISAPPROVAL!

Y/N: I’m messing with you, lol.

Scott: I was shaking!

Y/N: OMG THE OTHER DAY HE TOLD ME… “HELLO, Y/N.” HE USED MY FIRST NAAAAAAME.

Scott: PFFFT THAT’S NOTHING, YESTERDAY HE HELD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME.

Y/N: We’re so getting kicked off the team if he finds out about our lil club.

Scott: Like that would stop us from stanning him.

Scott: you when you see Cap

Scott:

Y/N: A rare pic of me trying to stop you from doing something stupid when Steve acknowledges your presence.

Y/N:

Phil has joined the chat.

Phil: Hello, amateurs.

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Blessing - Pietro Maximoff x (f)Reader x dad!Stark

Words: 1179
Pairing: Pietro Maximoff x (f)Reader x dad!Stark
Featuring: Clint Barton
Warnings: lotta love, cheesy ending.
Requested by anon
Pietro goes to Dad!Tony to ask for his blessing to marry reader. Tony’s not to keen on the idea because it’s speedy, but he makes reader happy and that’s all he can ask for as a loving father. Fluff ‘n’ stuff please.
Authors Note: I’m sorry this took so long to get out, I have been very unmotivated recently. Just happy it’s finally done :)

Pietro Masterlist. Masterlist.


“Tony, I need to talk to you!” Pietro ran around the base all day, trying to find your father long enough to get him to speak. Tony kept dodging Pietro and hiding from him by saying that he had to do work all over the base.

Clint rolled his eyes when Tony ran into the kitchen. “I swear, Tony, if you do not talk toPietro he’s going to explode. Just give him a few minutes to talk. He’s your daughter’s boyfriend, what if it’s important?” Of course, Clint knew what Pietro wanted to talk about; he’s basically Pietro’s father.

And Clint wasn’t lying; it was one of the most important things that could happen. “I don’t want to talk to him; he makes me mad! And to know he is having…intercourse… with my daughter does not make it any better for me,” Tony argued.

Clint cocked his head and rolled his eyes. “Come on; they have been dating for nearly two years. Give him a break; he’s really not that bad.”

Tony slowly turned his head to look at Clint. “You know what this is about, don’t you?” Tony walked closer.

“What? No, no, what gave you any idea that I know what he wants? No, psh, no!” Clint lied as he stood up to get away from Tony.

“Clint, get your ass back here!” Tony shouted and ran after Clint, but was stopped by a gust of wind.

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Single Mom

Let me know what you think!


Being a single mom was not something that you had ever expected your future to hold. Having to leave your home in Star City and go back to Gotham in order to get you and your baby away from an abusive ex even less so.

“Thanks for letting me stay with you, Roy”

“It’s no problem, Y/N, you and Jackson are welcome to stay as long as you want. Trust me, I know all about needed to get away from Star City”

You reach out and pull your cousin into a tight hug, “We won’t be staying long, I already have a job and just need to look for an apartment”

“Don’t worry about it. I know that Gotham can be a difficult city to find a safe apartment in.”

“Tell me about it, luckily your dad sent in a good word to Bruce Wayne and I’m going to be his new secretary. It’s a surprisingly good salary, hopefully I’ll be able to save enough to get us out of Crime Alley – Not that your apartment isn’t nice! I just -”

“You just don’t want to raise a three year old in Crime Alley. Don’t worry, I understand”

“You can come live with us, get to a better neighborhood”

Roy ruffles your hair, “Nah, cousin, I like it here, this place has grown on me. And plus, if I leave whose gonna make sure that the girls on the corner ain’t pushed around?”

“So you look out for the hookers?”

“They’re sweet ladies, they just gotta do what they gotta do. I just make sure that the Johns don’t get too rough, and if they need a snack I’ll toss down a few things”

“You’re such a bleeding heart, Roy!”

“I can’t help it! They have kids and some guys can be assholes”

You let out a dry chuckle, “I know all about guys being assholes. Trust me”

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Y/N” Roy pulls you down onto the couch, “Do you think Jacks will remember anything?”

“I hope not, the only time he really saw Lyle hit me was when we were trying to leave, at least I hope that’s the only time he saw it. Jackson’s a smart kid though, hopefully he’s too young to remember anything.”

“You think he’s gonna try and sue for custody?”

“I sure as hell hope not”

Roy smirks, “For his sake I hope to hell he stays far away from Gotham”

Six months later finds you in your own apartment in a much nicer side of Gotham than Roy’s apartment in Crime Alley. Jackson’s been enrolled in pre-school, and then goes to daycare while you’re at work.

“Mommy!”

You kneel down, easily catching your son in your arms, “Hey, pumpkin! I missed you”

“I missed you too, Mommy!”

Scooping up the now four year old boy you turn and head back to your car, “I have a little bit of work that I still need to do at the office, okay sweetheart? Will you be a good boy and draw me a picture while I work?”

The smile your son gives you is bright enough to warm your heart, “Yeah! And I can tell you about my new friends!”

“Of course, Jacks, of course. You know I always want to hear about your day”

Jackson continues to talk while you drive back to WE, “And everyone’s my friend! Even the teacher is really cool! She says that I’m super smart because I already know how to write my name and read some!”

Thankfully Jackson’s always been eager to learn. He took to reading relatively quickly, and even wants to try learning how to speak another language. The woman down the hall from your apartment likes to speak to Jackson in Italian, and has started to teach you and Jackson a few phrases.

“Did you show her that you can add and subtract too?”

“No, Mrs. Ellie said that we get to do math tomorrow, so I have to wait”

“Well, if you want you can practice your math when we get inside, just to make sure that you haven’t forgotten anything”

Jackson’s eyes light up, “Yeah! You’re so smart Mommy”

“Thanks, pumpkin”

Once you get Jackson set up with his math problems, several sheets of paper, and a cup of juice, you can finally finish your work for the day. Most people think that being a secretary is easy work, and it might be if you worked for anyone other than Bruce Wayne. Mr. Wayne who was constantly canceling or rescheduling meetings, having some kind of scandal, or hosting some kind of party, was a lot of work to keep up with.

“Mommy?”

“Hmm?”

“How long are we gonna be here? I’m hungry”

“I’m almost done, sweetheart. I just need to make a few more of these invitations so I can send them out tomorrow and then we can go.”

“Y/N?”

You whip around, coming face to face with your boss. “Mr. Wayne?! What are you doing here so late? I though you left at 3 today”

Bruce raises an eyebrow, “I could ask you the same thing considering I know you left at 5 pm, but here you are at 6:30pm and still working”

“I – I had to pick up my son” you make an aborted gesture towards the four-year-old, “and I had to come back to finish these invitations for the gala in two weeks …”

“I didn’t even know that you had a son”

“Well, I try not to bring up my personal life at the office, I mean I’m just your secretary Mr. Wayne”

“Yes, but you’ve been with me for over six months and I still never knew that you had a son. Hasn’t he gotten sick or anything?”

“Well, my cousin Roy can usually watch Jackson when he’s sick so I don’t have to take time off work. I mean I can’t really afford to miss much, it’s a little difficult to be a single mom and pay rent. I was only just recently able to move out of Crime Alley and I’d like to be able to stay out of there”

“I’m … sorry. I always asked you to work weekends, or come in after hours. I never realized you had a son” Mr. Wayne pauses for a minute, “You mentioned your cousin. Roy? Would that happen to be Roy Harper?”

“Yeah, actually. Do you know him?”

“He and my sons, Jason and Dick, are good friends”

“Yeah, he mentioned a Jason and Dick, but I never got the chance to meet them before I moved out.”

“Mommy, I’m hungry”

“Sorry, baby, I’m almost done. Do you want some fruit snacks?”

“Yeah!” You quickly pull out a pack of fruit snacks and pull it open. “Thanks”

“I’m really sorry, Mr. Wayne, but I need to finish this up so I can figure out some dinner”

“Actually, I was going to go to dinner with my sons and I wanted to know if you and Jackson would like to come. It’d be my treat”

“I can’t ask that of you, Mr. Wayne”

“Call me Bruce, and I insist. You’ve made my life so much easier these past few months that dinner for you and your son would be the least I can do. What do you think, Jackson? Would you like to go out for dinner with my sons and I?”

“Yes, please!”

You narrow your eyes at your boss, “What was a dirty trick, Mr. Wayne, using my own son against me”

“Come on, Y/N, it’s just dinner. And three of my sons are close to your age, I know that you don’t have very many friends your own age, not with how much time you spend here and then with how much you must spend with your boy”

“Please, Mommy? Can we please go? I promise I’ll be good and I’ll use all my manners”

“Fine, we can go, but you have to clean up after yourself first”

Jackson scrambles to get everything in order. He puts all of his papers in his backpack, and throws away his juice cup and snack wrapper. “All clean”

“All right” Quickly logging out of your computer and gathering your own things, you turn back to the billionaire, “So, where are we going?”

You all arrive at the small diner at the same time. “Boys, I’d like you to meek Y/N and her son, Jackson. She was working late tonight and though it would be nice if they joined us”

“Hi, I’m Dick” The man grins, his blue eyes sparkle with the light of a man that’s seen a lot in his life, but still manages to see the good in everyone. “It’s really nice to meet you guys” He doesn’t seem to know how to handle Jackson though, so it’s obvious that he’s never been around kids.

The second man that steps forward is huge. He’s about as big as Bruce, but he has gunmetal grey eyes and a strange white streak in his hair. “I’m Jason” As soon as you let go of his hand Jason crouches down and smiles at Jackson, “Hey, big man. My name’s Jason, what’s yours?”

The little boy grins and to your surprise darts forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Jason’s neck. “My name’s Jackson, but mommy calls me Jacks”

Jason pulls back slightly, a soft smile on his handsome face, “Oh yeah, bud? And what does your daddy call you?”

You twitch not expecting the question, but before you can even open your mouth Jackson answers, “Well, my father liked to call me bad names, like bastard and little shit, and he used to hit mommy, but mommy and me left to come here and live with Uncle Roy”

Everyone paused, either in shock or in horror at what Jackson had just said. Slowly crouching down and pulling Jackson away from Jason, “Baby, we talked about this, remember? We said that we weren’t ever gonna tell people about your father and what he did.”

“I know, but -”

“You promised that you wouldn’t tell people, Jackson. When people ask where your father is you tell them …”

“That I don’t have one” Jackson’s lip wobbles, “’m sorry, mommy”

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Come on, lets meet everyone else and then we can eat, alright?”

“Okay”

Dinner is a surprisingly fun affair. It’s full of the brothers constantly picking at each other, Bruce trying to control his sons, and your own son’s laughter. Jackson seems to bond even more with Jason and, to everyone’s apparent surprise, Damian.

Damian places the menu on the table, “No, Jackson, chocolate milk is obviously superior to plain milk, so that is what we shall get”

“You like chocolate milk too?!”

“tt – of course.”

“Mommy, can I have chocolate milk?”

“Only a small cup, I don’t want you to have too much sugar before bedtime”

Jackson’s smile is bright, “Thank you!”

Jason smiles at you, watching his youngest brother and your son debate which is better, grilled cheese or chicken nuggets. “He’s a cute kid”

“Thanks”

“He’s pretty damn smart too. He was telling me about his math and reading when you were talking to Tim and Bruce about work.”

Your eyes soften when they fall on your boy, “He’s always been smart and he soaks up new information like a sponge. He likes to watch animal documentaries instead of cartoons, and one of my neighbors is teaching him a little bit of Italian.”

“Even smarter than I thought” Jason’s eyes meet yours, “You know you’re pretty awesome too”

“I just your dad’s secretary, Jason”

“You’ve also gotten yourself out of an abusive relationship, and are raising a pretty awesome kid”

A blush starts creeping up your cheeks, “Thank you. You seem to be pretty good with kids you know”

“Before Bruce adopted me I lived in Crime Alley, there were a lot of kids on the street that needed to be looked after. I honestly think that kids can sense that I’ve had experience, that I like to be around kids”

The chocolate milk comes for Damian and Jackson, when Damian just tries to drink it Jackson shows him the wonder of blowing milk bubbles, “I was surprised when he hugged you. Ever since we left his father he’s been wary of strange men, the only man he really likes is Roy. Damian I can understand because he’s young, but you’re huge and basically a stranger”

“Kids have pretty good instincts, especially ones who’ve witnessed abuse”

Jackson lets out another shrieking giggle, this time at Dick and Tim fighting over the last French fry, “You guys are just really good with him” Dick starts whining when he realizes that Jackson stole the fry among all the fighting. Bruce calls the waitress over and orders another three servings of fries.

“So, I know that we only just met, but I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me sometime? Like on a date?”

“Yes!” Both you and Jason look at Jackson in surprise, “Say yes, mommy!”

“You want me to go on a date with Jason?”

Damian snorts, “tt – you would be an acceptable partner for Todd, much better than any other woman he has brought around. The child is also acceptable, I quite enjoy his company”

“Glad we have your approval, Demon Brat, but it’s up to Y/N whether or not she wants to go out with me”

Giving Jason a shy smile you nod, “I think I’d really like to go out with you, Jason. I mean Roy had some pretty good things to say about you, and if you’re his best friend than I guess you must be a pretty good guy”

Jason’s grin is blinding, and Jackson cheers, “Yay, mommy!”

Jason’s out patrolling, making one last round before heading in for the night. He hasn’t been able to stop smiling since Y/N said yes to a date, but that smile is quickly wiped off his face when a red arrow hits his helmet.

“Hood!”

Jason yanks off the helmet, looking up in shock at his best friend, “What the fuck, Roy?! Did you just shoot an arrow at me?!”

“That was a warning shot. You hurt my baby cousin or her boy and the next time I shoot, you won’t be wearing the helmet. Understand?”

“Yeah – Yeah I understand”

Slowly Roy unnotched his arrow, sliding it back into his quiver, “Good. Jay, I love you like a brother, but I’m serious, you hurt either of them and I’ll kill you”

. #3

The Tower


The Tower: An Avengers Fanfic

Chapter 1

Chapters: one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine /ten / eleven / twelve /thirteen / fourteen / fifteen / sixteen /

Word Count: 2330

Warnings: Smut (F/F, fingering slight dom/sub)

Synopsis: How does someone with no superpowers, no real discernible talents and a whole lot of baggage end up being the girlfriend to all the Avengers?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  It all started with a blur and an abrupt crash. Here is the initial meeting, and the events that follow.

Author’s Note: Bug Kate @emilyevanston about the gorgeous Header, she made it. This story is NOT a Nat X Reader. It’s an Avengers X OC piece, which means a poly relationship. There will be many different combinations of pairings within this story.


How does someone with no superpowers, no real discernible talents and a whole lot of baggage end up being the girlfriend to all the Avengers?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  It all started with a blur and an abrupt crash.

As usual, I was late.  That happened a lot.  I tend to get caught up in my head while I’m working in the lab or the library.  Which is a problem because as part of my post doctoral position I had to teach an Intro to Biology class six times a week.  I was dashing down the steps of the library, across the lawn and just smashed headlong into another person.

All I really noticed as I picked myself back up, helped her to her feet and apologized profusely was she was small, dressed in black and had dark red hair.  She didn’t really even say anything to me, just ‘don’t worry about it’ and I took off again.

It was as I stood panting in the lecture theatre, getting the slideshow started for the lecture I realized how close I came to death that day.  The woman I had flattened was the Black Widow.

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Scorpius chats with Ron
  • Rose invited Scorpius over for the afternoon one summer to have dinner with them, but Ron insisted on having a chat with him because he thought they were dating, even though Rose insisted that they were not. So, Scorpius sat down and talked to Ron and...
  • Ron: What’s your full name?
  • Scorpius: Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. Some people call me Scorp.
  • Ron: I hear you tease Rose sometimes.
  • Scorpius: Um... *rubs the back of his neck* I used to in first to third year, but we're friends now. I promise I won't do it anymore. Posie- I mean, Rose- is so funny when she's angry, that's all.
  • Ron: So, Scorpius, you’re how old now? *looking gruff and like he’ll shoot Scorpius*
  • Scorpius: Fourteen, sir.
  • Ron: Fourth year, hm?
  • Scorpius: Yep. Same year as Rose. OWLs will be next year, so I’m pretty nervous. I know Posie will do well though, she’s brilliant.
  • Ron: Yes, well, she’s her mother’s daughter. *chuckles* What’s your favourite subject?
  • Scorpius: Potions, because Dad taught me. But Charms is fun when Posie helps me out.
  • Ron: What do you want to be when you grow up?
  • Scorpius: Maybe a Professor. I love Hogwarts. I'm not as good at it, but I think that I’d like to teach Transfiguration though, it’s so cool. McGonagall’s my favourite teacher.
  • Ron: I see. And what about your father and mother, do you get along with them?
  • Scorpius: Well- this is rare, but it happens - Dad loses his temper. He’ll snap at me and Mum. Mum annoys me from time to time. She’s a stickler for dressing up and being clean and all that.
  • Ron: My mum was like that and now my wife is too. Terrible fate, I’ve got.
  • Hermione: I HEARD THAT!
  • Scorpius: *laughs*
  • Ron: You like Wizard chess?
  • Scorpius: Yes, Al and I play all the time in the Slytherin common room.
  • Ron: Really? *chuckles* Reminds me of me and Harry. And what about Quidditch? Do you play?
  • Scorpius: No, sir. I like to watch, though. James is really good and so is that Zabini bloke from my house. And I really love the Chud-
  • Ron: *screams at him and flails his arms* CHUDLEY CANONS?!
  • Scorpius: *looking scared* Uh... y-yeah... it’s my... um...favourite team. Why? Is... is that bad? I'm s-sorry.
  • Ron: *shakes his hand* Welcome to the family!
  • Scorpius: What? But I’m...
  • Ron: My son!
  • Hugo: DAD?!
  • Ron: You Puddlemore supporter!
  • Scorpius: Puddlemore? Hugo, are you off your rockers?
  • Ron: I love this one. I love him. *hugs Scorpius*
  • Scorpius: But sir, Rose and I aren’t even dating. She’s my friend.
  • Ron: What do you think of her?
  • Scorpius: Well... she’s respectable and funny and kind and brave and... *blushes just a bit* maybe a teensy bit pretty?
  • Ron: ROSE!
  • Rose: Yes, Dad? Is dinner ready? I was just working on my History of Magic assignment and I-
  • Ron: You marry this one, okay? *pats him on the back and squeals* He likes Chudley Canons!
  • Rose: What?!
  • Scorpius: What?!
  • Ron: I give up all the things I said about you never marrying a Malfoy. Just go ahead, fall in love! *pushes him towards her* So long as he keeps loving Chudleys. Say, what was your favourite game?
  • Scorpius: But sir...?
  • Ron: *grinning like a fool* Which one? Come on, then.
  • Scorpius: 1988 Winter Games. I saw it on tape with Dad.
  • Ron: I’m calling Draco on the pellyphone to arrange a marriage.
  • Hermione: What? Ron, you can’t! Rose needs to make her own choices. Plus, you hated the Malfoys, why do you change your mind over a Quidditch team?
  • Rose: Dad, I don't want to have an arranged marriage!
  • Ron: *ignoring them* Hello, Malfoy? I’d like to ask a favour...
  • Hermione: RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY!
  • Rose: Um... sorry, my family’s crazy. *blushing*
  • Scorpius: Yep, I can see that. I don’t mind. *smiles at her*

Anonymous said: Can you please writer where the reader meets jeff’s family ( you can pick if they are dating or not but either way jeff 100% never shuts up about the reader to his parents) and atkin’s family embarrassment ensues haha

Author’s Note: So I couldn’t come up with any shenanigans, so I double whammied Jeff&Y/N. Lets just say that both sets of parents ship it. And not afraid to be vocal about it ;) I’m sorry it didn’t come out as you hopefully expected.

Originally posted by qrunge-alexxaa

Jeff X Reader

“Jeff. Jeff!” You laugh. “Stop stuffing your face and drive.”

“But it’s s'good!” He mumbles, shoving another spoonful of chili frito into his mouth.

You pull your phone out, taking a video as his cheeks puff out with all the food he’s stuffed into them while you’re stopped at a stop sign. He had surprised you by driving you an hour into the big city for a major league baseball game and the two of you sat in the middle of crowd, cheering and booing and stuffing yourselves full of ball game food. But Jeff- Jeff couldn’t get enough of their chili frito and even ordered another tray right after the game had ended.

A car honks from behind Jeff’s car, you cackling as Jeff startles in surprise. He laughs directly at your phone’s camera, he then passing over his food to you before driving away. You quickly edit a small piece of the video to add to Instagram for everyone to see just how much your best friend is better than theirs, and then settle in for the drive home while eating half of Jeff’s food.

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