yes this didn't turn out great

  • [Lauren opens the door to reveal Camila with a turkey over her head]
  • Lauren: Nice try.
  • Camila: Wait, wait, wait! [she puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey]
  • Lauren: Look, Camila…
  • Camila: Look! [she puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird]
  • Lauren: This is not going to work.
  • Camila: I bet this will work! [she starts dancing and Lauren cracks up]
  • Lauren: You are so great! I love you!
  • [Camila stops suddenly and turns around slowly]
  • Camila: What?
  • Lauren: Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!
  • Camila: You said you loved me! I can't believe this!
  • Lauren: No I didn't!
  • Camila: Yes, you did!
  • Lauren: No I didn't!
  • Camila: You love me!
  • Lauren: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
  • [Dinah walks in and sees Camila. She freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming]
Seussical in a nutshell
  • jojo: wow nice hat
  • cat: im here now, sO USE YOUR IMAAAAGINATION
  • -
  • horton: wtf who said that. theres only a speck of dust so the logical conclusion is that a miniature person is on that speck. actually a whole lot
  • sour kangaroo: bitch you cray!!!
  • gertrude: damn that elephant fine as hell
  • -
  • dust speck: so anyway horton you were totally right; we're a lost civilization on the brink of war and we're all about to die. Who-dee-who-who-who. Also we're guilting you into being our guardian. Who-who-who.
  • -
  • cat: jojo you're going into the story whether you like it or not
  • mr. and mrs. mayor: jojo you're grounded. no more thinking.
  • jojo: fuck yall i do what i want
  • mr. and mrs mayor: well we obviously don't know how to raise a kid so we're just gonna send you off to the war
  • -
  • horton: well everyone thinks i'm crazy but that's ok because i can imagine that i'm cool
  • jojo: well my parents sent me into the military but that's ok because i can imagine that my family accepts me for who i am
  • horton: yo lmao i hear you down there lets be friends 4 ever
  • -
  • gertrude: ugh i really wanna fuck this elephant but i'm not attractive :/
  • mayzie: bitch u right. go take drugs.
  • gertrude: k. ima go ham tho
  • -
  • wickersham brothers: lmao look at this nerd with that flower. yoink that shiz
  • horton: wtf literally why would u do that there was honestly no need and now i have to search through millions of identical fucking clovers to find my tiny fren jojo
  • -
  • cat: by the way did i mention im a sadist??
  • -
  • gertrude: hey im sexy now wanna get down
  • horton: hush im picking flowers
  • -
  • mayzie: always use a condom kids. horton, watch my egg for me
  • horton: why the fuck would i do that
  • mayzie: pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease
  • horton: ok ok fine but be back in like an hour
  • mayzie: LMFAO BY BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEE YOU IN HELL!!
  • -
  • horton: well its winter now and jojo and the Whos are probably dead but i refuse to move my ass off this egg ok it is my My Child now andOH FUCK HUNTERS
  • Cat: by the way did i mention that i'm also a trickster god?
  • -
  • gertrude: oh no im too sexy to fly... sorry horton.. ur ass about to get carted off to the circus :(
  • horton: god this sucks
  • -
  • mayzie: oh hey theres a circus in town and OH SHIT ITS THE GUY I DUMPED THAT KID ON uh hey man im so happy for u... such a big success... performing in a circus!! lucky u!! anyway i gotta go right now immediately so enjoy that egg!
  • horton: Where Is Paradise
  • -
  • jojo: fuck this war im going home to think what i wanna think
  • general schmitz: kid you're walking on a minefield... literally one wrong step and your dea-- ok too late..
  • -
  • cat: oh yes HOW VERY SAD boohoohoohahahaha dont worry jojo isnt actually dead he's just trapped in a nightmare realm filled with Unspeakable Horrors
  • jojo: fuck you cat!!! you've legit been behind everything bad that's happened! why didn't i call you the fuck out earlier!
  • cat: ok damn fine i'll turn on the lights geez...
  • -
  • gertrude: hi horton great to see you again hahaha so um i got all of my Sexiness™ ripped out of my ass one by one so that i could find you (and a whole lot of other shit) but no big deal haha
  • gertrude: oh also i found your dumb clover
  • cat: oh you thought this was gonna be a happy ending right here? you thought wrong
  • sour kangaroo: BITCH WE PUTTING YOU ON TRIAL
  • judje yertle: well horton's definitely crazy and were gonna boil that clover with the dust speck on it in hot oil for literally no other reason but to prove a point
  • horton: so uh guys if you dont wanna die you should probably start screaming
  • mr and mrs mayor: well the combined forces of our entire planet had no effect so we're just gonna put all the pressure on you, jojo, our small son, who only a few moments ago we thought was dead.
  • jojo: *gibberish*
  • sour kangaroo: well i heard that shit!
  • everyone: hooray!
  • egg: henlo fatgher i am Elyphant Birb
  • horton: wtf
  • gertrude: eh, we'll make it work
  • -
  • -

Source: Phone Call with Seven on Day 10, After 0:44+VN

WTF. How. DARE. NOTHING ABOUT THIS PHONE CALL WAS OKAY. Even if MC did fall in love with Jumin, that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t care about Seven, and listening to him have a FUCKING BREAKDOWN is A million times worse than Zen’s offhand comment in Yoosung’s route about the fact he had feelings for her, but didn’t realize it before she chose Yoosung.

Goddamn Cheritz, you surely know how to break my fucking heart. I’m going to enjoy the next route (Seven’s) with all I have and get the Good Ending or SO HELP ME…

…Some of the shit Seven says/does in this route now makes a helluva lot more sense after this phone call, and my heart hurts even more.

I am still going to write a reaction post tomorrow to Jumin’s route as a whole. I just… REALLY needed to express myself rn.

  • mcgonagall: so gilderoy, now the weasley girl's been kidnapped, it's about time you show us where the chamber of secrets is
  • mcgonagall: you know, since you've been bragging that you found it for weeks
  • mcgonagall: you did actually find it, didn't you gilderoy?
  • lockhart: yes i did
  • mcgonagall: well?
  • lockhart: turns out the real chamber of secrets was the great colleagues i made along the way
  • mcgonagall: ...
  • mcgonagall: you are such a piece of shit

anonymous asked:

Hi mom... A gay couple kissed on TV and I was happy about it, but my stepdad went "eww." I wanted to say something to him but didn't... Does that make me a bad person? I just feel guilty for not speaking up like some people can.

My dear lgbt+ child, 

You’re not a bad person at all. Not everyone is able to speak up in situations like that - and that’s okay. 

Your existence is not a contract forcing you to constantly educate everyone around you. It’s not your job to constantly call out lgbt+-phobia. 

Yes, educating and speaking up is great. But our existence isn’t a 24/7 debate club. It’s okay to turn a deaf ear to a lgbt+-phobic remark. Sometimes it’s even necessary, for your safety or your sanity. 

Don’t feel guilty, my dear. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom 

anonymous asked:

You haven't uploaded anything for a while, are you working on a big project? Sorry, I'm a little nervous, I've been wanting to send you an ask for a while now, I didn't wanted to bother you!... Keep being awesome!

Aw, don’t be nervous, it’s quite alright dear!! Thank you so much for asking!!

Yes, I’m working really hard on a commission, and it’s turning out great! Electriceidolon, who commissioned me, donated 20$ to Child’s Play and asked me to draw my favorite Markiplier moment, and since it’s the first commission I’m doing in collaboration with Markiartist-for-charity, I wanted to make it glorious

I was stupid enough to choose a photo where Mark is wearing his lucky flannel, so it might just take a day or two more for me to finish it… Again, thank you so much for asking me!! c:

Cristala Sentence Starters (1x01)
  • "If you were my wife/husband I'd put poison in your coffee"
  • "It's embarrassing how much you want me."
  • "You know you gotta stop sending me these mixed messages."
  • "'I don't like you' and 'go away' are not mixed messages"
  • "I like the way you look at the world."
  • "So sorry I made you do it weird now?"
  • "You've been misled."
  • "When I think about how much harder you've worked than my daughter to get where you are, well, then I'd have to be a fool not to hire you."
  • "You're very smart but you've got a lot to learn."
  • "Sometimes it's not so bad having you around."
  • "Just so you know, what I heard was 'I love you'"
  • "Well, if he's choking, you're doing that wrong."
  • "You know you really shouldn't leave your door open like that. Someone could walk in here and take your stuff."
  • "How dare you misrepresent yourself? And on the internet of all places."
  • "If he starts murdering you...text me."
  • "I don't judge people on looks, I judge people on money."
  • "I don't date. Not part of my ten-year plan"
  • : "Monday's pants, Tuesday's sweater: Wednesday's outfit."
  • "Can I? Yes. Will I? No."
  • "How do you look so good at four in the morning?"
  • "You know I love it when you walk away. It gives me a glimpse of your head!"
  • "Why do men think they can hoot and holler like great big apes?"
  • "I don't want to sound all grandiose, but we're kind of like Jesus."
  • "Clearly you've never punched anyone in the face."
  • "Are you rapping?"
  • "I almost turned him/her down out of some strange loyalty to you."
  • "You hurt me earlier. You made me feel like I didn't matter at all."
  • "Could the problem be the pet names?"
  • "You're awfully passionate about him/her"
  • "Oh, that is not fair! Do not be all loving and caring while I'm trying to be mad at you!"
He hears the other boys compliment you
  • Luke: I missed (y/n) like crazy. It'd been far too long since id seen her and I was going senile with only the company of the boys. They were all single and didn't quite know how it felt to have a girl who was as amazing as (y/n) as their own. I was lucky enough to have had her for 2 whole years. We dated in high school and when I started touring, we promised we'd still be together. We kept our promise. I was face timing (y/n) through in my room, where I could get some sort of privacy from the other boys. "Babe, you look amazing." I smiled as she changed in front of the camera. We were no longer shy around each other - like we were in the beginning of the relationship. "Yeah, I can't wait till you're home luke!" She smirked, bringing her boobs closer to the screen. I could tell I was getting turned on but we couldn't do anything about it. "Stop it. I know what you're trying to do and we both know you don't have time for that." I winked. We ended the call having told each other that we loved each other, missed each other and couldn't wait to see each other. As I walked into the lounge where the rest of the boys were sitting, I heard their mumbles about (y/n). "She's got a great body. Super hot. Luke's a lucky guy." I heard Michael say, I smiled quite proudly with myself for having such an amazing girlfriend. "Did you see her in that bikini last time?! She's not just super hot." Calum jeered, at that point I walked into the room smiling at them. "You think my girlfriend is hot and you guys don't get to have sex with her." I grinned, sitting down as they all tutted at me.
  • Michael: I'd just said goodbye to (y/n) at the airport and it was pretty emotional. I knew I wasn't going to be able to see her for a pretty long time and even just now we still hadn't been together for very long. It sucked that she cogent travel with me and see myself and the boys on stage every night of tour. I did love having her though; I was so lucky and I didn't want to let her go - especially when it was easy to work out a schedule of when we could see each other. The boys were pretty friendly with her too and loved her company. On the way to a radio station one day, I was listening to my iPod while closing my eyes to make it look like I was sleeping while the boys had a chat. They were talking about (y/n) and as soon as I heard them say her name I immediately paid attention - still looking like I was asleep. "She's amazing. I wish I had a girlfriend that would do all this for me." Ashton spoke, I could only think he was on my twitter after I posted a photo of what (y/n) got me when she left to go home. "I really hope that one day I have a girlfriend as nice as (y/n). She's just incredible for him." I discreetly smiled as the boys continued to talk.
  • Calum: Waking up to the sight of (y/n) sleeping naked beside me always managed to put me in a great mood. She just looked so innocent and she slept with a smile on her face. I smirked remembering what happened the night before and wouldn't ever be able to thank her enough for it. We were busy for hours and I couldn't even remember what time we locked ourselves in my room of the house myself and the boys shared. I didn't get to see (y/n) often and that was our excuse - we were just spending some quality time together, that's all. I could hear mumbling coming from outside on the balcony, just down a bit from where my bedroom window was. It was Luke and Ashton. They made the most of the mornings in LA. "Did you hear them last night?" Ashton asked Luke, leaning on the barrier of the balcony. They didn't know I could hear or see them. "Yes! Calum is one lucky boy with a girl like (y/n). He sounded like he was having a great time." Luke laughed, Ashton joined in. "He is pretty lucky to have a girl like her. She's got a brilliant body; bet he seen a lot of it last night, too." They both laughed harder and I slightly blushed. "Morning boys!" I waved out the window as they turned around, going red. "Morning cal." They both mumbled. "Would you mind getting me some orange juice? Had a pretty long night last night." I said, winking at them both to make them feel awkward. "Stop rubbing your sex life in our faces, bro." Luke laughed, returning back to his balcony leaning position.
  • Ashton: I was so excited to show my girlfriend to the world tonight at a movie premiere. This was our very first one in the UK and we were all dressed up and looking smart. I was the only one with a girlfriend and luckily for me, I was able to bring her along for it. She loved the movie before this one and I couldn't wait to see her completely fangirl over the fact she was on the same red carpet as Zac Efron. "Do I look okay? I couldn't really decide what to do with my hair." She spun around in her tight fitting dress with her long, simply straightened hair running down her back. "You look great." I smirked, wrapping my arms around her waist as we both faced the mirror. "Give us a kiss." I grinned as she turned to me, kissed me quick and then went to reapply her lipstick - which was now over my cheek. We took a selfie in the mirror and (y/n) posted it to her twitter - which then up roared with compliments. She continued to finish herself off, not that she had to, as I went to see the other lads. "She looks stunning. I wonder if Ashton's planning on doing her tonight." Calum whispered, although I could still hear him. "If he doesn't then I will. She's too hot for him not to." Michael added. "No worries boys, I'll do the honours." I winked as I walked into the room. They both blushed and smiled apologetically.
fuck it i did another chapter parody
  • (INT: Levi & Ramona are pep talking their respective squads.)
  • Levi: Okay guys, we're here.
  • Levi & Ramona: This is going to be a tough fight.
  • Levi: Our enemies are many in number...
  • Ramona: ...and they are strong.
  • Levi: But if we're going to live free some day...
  • Ramona: ...if we're going to achieve our dream, then we must be prepared...
  • Levi: stain our hands with blood.Because the future we envision...
  • Ramona: ...rests upon this very battle. If we don't fight...
  • Levi: ... we can't win.
  • Levi & Ramona: For the revolution of the world!
  • Squad Levi; *tosses some explosives down the stairs*
  • Ramona: What the fuck- (/actual dialogue)
  • Sasha: *shoots them (the explosives I mean)*
  • Barrels: *BOOM*
  • *dramatic smoke fills there room, along with glitter, sparklers & confetti*
  • Levi & Mikasa: *enter with a series of perfectly coordinated spins & loops, ending in a dramatic flourish of their audibly shiny blades*
  • Ramona: Okay, everyone shoot them while they're posing! NOW!
  • Levi & Mikasa: *dodge 70 bullets at once without breaking a sweat*
  • Ramona: How the hell-
  • Levi: Hey Ramona! Remember when I fucked up your squad a couple days ago? Well, I'm going to fuck it up AGAIN.
  • Mikasa: See, you're holding my brother captive. And as for the *last* people that tried to hold him captive... well, let's just say I bet they're PRETTY DAMN HAPPY they're Titan Shifters.
  • Levi: But enough on that, what did you think of our entrance? Badass, amirite?
  • Mikasa: We *wanted* to set up a strobe light and soundtrack, but there just wasn't enough time.
  • Levi: Also, we're related to your boss, in case you couldn't tell.
  • Ramona: *sigh* (to her squad:) Don't worry, guys. We outnumber them five to one, we have more experience, and these idiots LITERALLY brought knives to a gun fight. We won't have any trouble winning this fi-
  • *five minutes later*
  • Ramona: Okay WHAT THE ACTUAL CRAP?! Who writes this shit?! (to her squad) Okay, everyone RETREAT! And if you so much as breathe a WORD to Kenny about the famed Anti-Human Suppression Squad getting their asses kicked by a bunch of kids barely out of the Training Corps without at LEAST tacking a "Captain Levi" onto it, I will PERSONALLY kick your ass to the other side of Wall Maria. Got that?!
  • Hanji: Hey, you forgot about me.
  • Ramona: *shoots her*
  • Ramona: were saying?
  • Hanji: do you have to exist...
  • Squad Kenny: *retreats*
  • Levi: Okay, Armin, you tend to the other nerd, there might be some official art in the next room. The rest of you follow me.
  • Armin: Levi... you DO realize that EVERY time someone says, "you guys wait here while I go battle my evil dad in the other room", it NEVER works out well, right?
  • Levi: *ignores him*
  • Meanwhile, Rod Reiss is poised to inject Historia:
  • Rod: Let's hurry, Historia. They're getting closer.
  • *five minutes later*
  • Rod: ...So then Frieda ate my little brother and gained the Coordinate power, as well as Titan Shifting and the memories of the outside world. And it was pretty gross, I mean, his guts were EVERYWHERE. But it's a Reiss family tradition, you know, just like how we always open ONE present on Christmas Eve and go boating at the lake every summer. And, you know, boating accidents plus Titan Shifting can get pretty damn amusing. Like, I remember your great-aunt Bertha told me about that one time she went cliff diving. Turns out the water was shallower than she thought and she wound up stubbing her toe pretty badly on the bottom, and then five seconds later: BOOM! She's a Titan. She could see *over* the top of the cliff and she was all like, "why the fuck did I even GO cliff diving in the first place?!" And then there was the time when...
  • Historia: Dad? Didn't you say we had to hurry?
  • Rod: Oh yes. Right. Much hurrying. The Survey Corps will be here ANY SECOND.
  • Eren: (thinking) Wow. This guy's the biggest idiot I've ever met.
  • Kenny: ...Say, Rod, mind if I see that syringe for a second?
  • Rod: (glaring at him) ...Why?
  • Kenny: Oh, um, no reason, I... just want to see if it's working correctly, that's all! Haha. Yeah.
  • Rod: "If it's WORKING CORRECTLY?!"
  • Kenny: Um... yeah?
  • Rod: This is for HISTORIA. NOT YOU. Are we clear?!
  • Kenny: Aww c'mon! You mean I can't become an Ackeroordinatetitanshifter and utterly CURBSTOMP everyone else... I mean, make sure my- OUR plans go as smoothly as possible?
  • Rod: Wait, what did you just say?
  • Kenny: Um... I said I wanted to make sure our plans go as smoothly as possible. :)
  • Rod: No, I mean, before that. The part about the Ackeroordinashdeifobijahdjajios-whatever.
  • Kenny: Um...haha...I didn't say *anything*. Must've been Eren.
  • Eren: Mmph! {Translation: I'M FUCKING GAGGED.]
  • END