yes that avocado!

  • Foggy: you can't go up against that in your black pajamas!
  • Matt: I'm not.
  • Matt: so you agree I should
  • Foggy: matt
  • Matt: what I hear you saying is I should
  • Foggy: Matt I swear to God
  • Matt: get a latex suit and
  • Foggy: Matt stop while you can
  • Matt: with little horns to look like a
  • Foggy: mAtt please.
  • Matt: rubber devil.
  • Foggy: Matt no Matt.
matt murdock is the only person allowed to use the line ‘justice is blind’

anonymous asked:

"Do you have any riper avocados?" Yes, ma'am. We keep all the ripe produce in the back and put the green stuff out here because we want people to buy that first. That is how produce works. "No, sorry. If you put them in a paper bag, they should ripen within a few day--" "Well, I'm eating them TONIGHT. >:(" Okay, well the fact that you didn't plan ahead and buy your avocados earlier sounds like it's your problem, not mine. This exchange happens at least three times whenever we're out of ripe food

Bon Voyage Ep.6 highlights:
  • Hobi was afraid to swim with sharks but said they were cute afterwards
  • Poor Hobi got seasick :(
  • Jimin is precious and loves birds
  • Tae doesn’t like avocados (YES TAE THAT’S MY BOY I DON’T GET WHY PEOPLE ARE OBSESSED WITH THEM EITHER)
  • Namjoon’s family has a group chat awwwwwwwww
  • ‘‘Our friendship is the souvenir” CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING?
  • Taegi buying friendship bracelets and necklaces JHJJJHJGGHHGFHF
  • Jin, Jimin and Jungkook begging Namseok to give them food
  • Namseok taking about producing music
  • to put it simply, Namjoon loves Yoongi
  • Bangtan really like Korean food. Like REALLY
  • Jungkook dying from second hand embarrassment because of Jin
  • Taehyung giving Yoongi a piggyback ride SOMEBODY HOLD ME

yeah that’s pretty much it

youtube

YES MY FAMILY
YES MY SON AVOCADO DRESSED IN FULL DD SUIT
YESSSSSSS

a bit ago the lovely @cathawayinspace tagged me to make a personal moodboard and i thought i’d try out pixlr express’ collage feature for it !  that was fun ! (。’▽’。)♡

Kiss Me Better (8/?)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader, Loki x BFF!Reader

Word Count: 739

Summary: Hungry Bucky

Warnings: None.

A/N: Be nice to people with service jobs. The pay isn’t enough to have to deal with rude patrons.

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You knew you were in for trouble when the server offered you a booster seat for Bucky. You politely declined and asked for a booth in the back, pleased to see he would be able to eat comfortably sitting on his knees. Both of you sat on the same side, wanting to keep all the exits in sight. The server handed you your menu, and you grimaced when she handed him a kid’s menu. He frowned, but took it quietly.

“What can I get you to drink?”

You looked over at Bucky, indicating him to go first. Rather than speak up, he grabbed the sleeve of your shirt, pulling you down to his level to whisper in your ear. “Ok. Do you want ice?” He thought for a moment, and nodded. “We’ll take two lemonades, please.”

When the server left, Bucky shoved his menu to the other side of the table and scooted closer as you set yours between the two of you. He looked happy when you reached the burger section, and pointed right at a large looking cheeseburger stacked with bacon. “I want it. I want a…” You waited patiently for him to find the right words. Again, you wondered how much Loki’s spell affected him. “Dis,” he’d flipped a few pages back to the salads, and pointed.

“Avocado?”

“Yes, but is smushy.” 

The server returned with your drinks, “You ready to order, hon?”

“Yes, thank you. He’d like the bacon cheeseburger with guacamole, please. And I’ll-” 

“I’m sorry, but that burger isn’t available on the kids menu.” 

You shut your eyes and took a deep breath, realizing this was going to be yet another confrontation. 

Keep reading

I just want to keep sleeping because I dream about you
All the things that we have yet to do
Time flies by when my eyes are closed
And every hour is one closer to me taking off your clothes

I dream of the way your skin feels against mine
The softness of your lips against my inner thighs
The noises that you make when I touch you the way you like
I can’t wait to be there and see what it’s really like

And to just hold you in my arms while we fall asleep
Wake up in the morning and kiss you on the cheek
Breakfast in bed, yes avocado toast
Just lay together for the day, I love your company the most

Everyday I am more excited than I can even handle
I’m ready to get out of here and be with you to light that candle
Drown out the smell of anything we smoke
Create some inside jokes
Me and you to the end

I’m glad we’re more than friends
Everyday is one closer to having you not just in my head
I want to go back to sleep
So you can fill my dreams
So it can be next week
So we can start our life together
Me and you for fucking ever

—  Time flies when I’m dreaming of you
Sunday Pun Day

Originally posted by chiminichangas

Genre: Fluff

Words: 2k-ish

Pairing: Jin x Reader

A/N: I may lose a lot of my followers because of this fanfic, or maybe I’ll gain more. But read at your own risk, the number of puns in here is off the charts


I decided to spend the night at Jin’s since we are having the get together at his house. I woke up to the smell of breakfast being made when a smile crept up on my face. That was always the best about staying with Jin: his cooking. I looked over to the bedside table and saw that it was 10 am. I guess Jin let me sleep in.

I got up out of bed and headed to the kitchen.

“Good morning babe.” I sang and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks for letting me sleep in.”

“Did you sleep well?” Jin asked as he was focused on cooking.

“Yeah.” I looked at the small little mess Jin had made. “What are you making?”

 “Oh, nothing much. Just some omelets.” 

I walked over to the kitchen island, hopped on it and crossed my legs; admiring the wonderful, that was Jin’s broad shoulders. I looked around and saw that there were many ingredients out: eggs, avocado, tomatoes, cheese, and many other vegetables.

 “We have a lot of things to do today Y/N,.” Jin said.

“Really? Like what?”

“Important adult business.” He replied as he was chopping onions 

“What kind of adult business?” I teased.

“Y/N! Not like that!” Jin sharply turned, mimicking his shocked face. “We have to clean, go grocery shopping, prepare for tonight’s get together.”

“Well, why can’t it be other adult business?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Because Y/N, we’ll never get things don,” Jin explained as he turned back to continue chopping onions.

“Very true.”

Although Jin and I didn’t live together entirely, we still helped out with responsibilities. I washed the dishes because he always cooks. I sweep, he mops. Our chores are consistent no matter if we’re at his house or mine. We also had a small wardrobe at each other’s house; he had clothes at my place, I had clothes at his. Living with Jin is perhaps the best thing I can ever ask for. But..there is one thing that is both a curse and living.

“Aigoo, this egg really cracks me up, ” Jin said as he cracked the egg open.

The jokes. There is never escaping the jokes. I absolutely love them, because when I’m feeling down, they brighten up my day…not matter how bad they are. I looked down too embarrassed to acknowledge the joke. But just as always, a smile slipped onto my lips.

“You know how it is Y/N. You spend the day with me, you get a day filled with laughter.” Jin noted.

“I don’t know babe. Sometimes they’re just too bad to laugh at.” I confessed.

“But you must admit that you do laugh at some.” Jin turned and gave me his signature hand kiss.

“Of course.” I smiled widely. Along with Jin’s jokes, his hand kisses are the best in the world.

“Well, there’s bread in the toaster oven, can you pull them out, so they don’t burn?”

“Sure thing babe,” I said. I jumped off the kitchen island, walked over to the toaster oven.

“Otherwise they’re toast.” Jin started laughing so hard. His semi-high pitched individual squeaks were what his laughs were like. An exchange of air always happened in the middle of the ehe ehe ehe ehe…or ah ah ah ah aha. Either way, it sounds like when I clean the mirrors with glass cleaner. I couldn’t help but shake my head and laugh at HIM laughing. It’s the cutest thing to see him turn red, gasping for air, and sometimes even cry at how funny he’s being.

As Jin finished up breakfast, I decided to set up the table. I placed our 2 floral placemats, 2 glasses, and eating utensils. The moment I finished, Jin sauntered over one plate in each of his hands. He effortlessly placed the plate full of eggs, toast, pancakes, and fruit in front of me.

“WOW!!! Looks amazing!” I praised.

“Eat Well” Jin smiled.

Within 30 minutes, we had devoured the delicious delicacy that was Jin’s pancakes. Jin picked up his plate, stood up and proceeded to take mine as well to the kitchen sink.

“Jagiya” he turned to me “do you mind sweeping up the house? I’ll wash the dishes instead.”

“Sure thing.” That’s strange. I always wash the dishes since Jin cooks, but I guess he wants to do the dishes. I headed to the large kitchen closet that held all of our cleaning supplies. I opened the door and saw that the broom was near retirement. Bristles were sticking out every which way. “Honey! I think it’s time we get a new broom.” I shouted.

“OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!” Jin yelled, “DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW BROOM?”

Great..what late night telecommercial did he watch now.

“APPARENTLY IT’S SWEEPING THE NATION!” Jin bursted out.

 I stopped dead in my tracks. Why…why are the jokes so bad? “I’ll give it to you, that was clever.” I noted. He obviously didn’t hear me from his high-pitched, breathy, and whale shrieking laughter. I began sweeping, and by the time I finished, Jin caught he breath and began washing a few dishes from this morning’s breakfast. “I’m done!” Jin said as he turned off the faucet. “Time to go grocery shopping.” We got dressed, grabbed our reusable bags and walked out the door. We walked over to the local market since it was 5 minutes at the most.

We walked through the automatic doors and were greeted by friendly hellos from the cashiers. “What’s on the shopping list?” I asked Jin.

“I don’t know, I didn’t bring one.” He began walking. I grabbed a small basket to put the items we came here to get. “What do you mean you didn’t bring one?” I eyed him.

“Uhhh..yeah exactly that. I don’t have the list. Besides, it’s just the guys and your friends…not some holiday feast.” he defended.

“Oh alright,, ” I said defeated.

We walked over to the produce section since it was the first thing we saw. I looked around for the things we needed. “Tomatoes, yes. Lettuce, yes. Potatoes, no. Onions, yes and avocado yes.” I began walking away when I saw Jin standing by the radishes. As I approached him, Jin looked over to me holding a radish. “You know Y/N when something is rad but not too rad…it’s called radish.”

“I…uhh..you know what, let’s just go get the meat for the burgers.”

“WE’RE MAKING BURGERS?!” Jin ecstatically said.

“You’re making them, remember?”

“Oh yeah.” Jin chuckled.

It occurred to me that my friend Sam was visiting as well, which meant she wasn’t going to eat burgers since she’s vegetarian.

“But don’t forget babe, we also have to get turkey meat.” I reminded him.

“Why?” He inquired.

“Well, you remember Sam don’t you?”

“Oh. Do I know him?” Jin obviously didn’t remember Sam.

“SHE’s the vegetarian friend of mine,” I responded

“Clearly I haven’t met herbivore,” Jin smirked.

“OH MY GOD JIN! NOT EVEN 2 MINUTES HAS PASSED SINCE YOUR LAST JOKE!” I yelled and gave him a murderous look.

“More like 5 minutes, but your right. That joke was clearly a missed steak.” And like that, Jin ran far into the aisles of the store.

After I had grabbed the meat, I wandered around the store looking for Jin, as a mother would for her 5-year-old son. I found him in the dessert section with a pondering look on his face.

“Hey.” Jin jumped a little when he heard me whisper from behind him. “What you thinkin’ about there mister?”

“Nothing much, what are we going to have for dessert?”  He asked

I figured it was my time to crack a joke. I didn’t want Jin to have all the fun today. “Well,” I chuckled, “I figured we’d have a sunday…since you know it’s Sunday” I winked at him hoping he would laugh at my forced joke.

“Is this how Yoongi feels?” Jin mumbled to himself.

“What?” I looked at him quizzically, not knowing what he meant.

“This second-hand embarrassment.”

“Oh my god Jin, I wasn’t that bad.”

“Yeah, you were. Nice try though Y/N, but please, leave the jokes to me.” Jin smiled. After all, his dad jokes are one of the many things that make him unique.

We grabbed the ice cream, whipped cream, and maraschino cherries since they were all in the freezer aisle. As we headed towards the cash register, I stopped dead in my tracks. Fear settled in when I realized we missed a vital ingredient.

“Babe, we forgot the nuts.” Jin sharply turned around saw the fear on my face, and like the superhero he was, began bolting down the aisles looking for the nuts. I ran beside with him, lugging the now heavy basket on my forearm. As we ran down the bread section, Jin spotted a worker and breathlessly asked where the nuts were at.

“They should be with the bakery items, sir.” And off he went, me trying so hard to keep up. He took a quick pause to scan the items in front of him. “AH! Here they are.” He reached out and grabbed the small container of peanuts. It was a childhood rule of mine that it is not a sunday unless it had nuts. We dragged our feet back to the cashiers, tired from all the running.

“That was nuts. I can’t believe we almost forgot them.” Jin huffed.

“Did you just-”

“Hello there, hope you were able to find everything ok.” The young guy interrupted me.

As if Jin knew what I was going to ask him, all he did was wink back at me. I placed the items on the conveyor belt, and as the cashier is scanning the items, Jin is putting them in bags accordingly.

“Your total is $60.85,” the clerk said. “Are you paying cash or card?”

“Cash” Jin replied.

Jin handed the clerk the money. The young guy proceeded to push a button which I assumed opened the cash register. When it didn’t open the young guy tried again, and again, and again. “I’m so sorry Mister,laugh” the guy said flustered at his attempts.

“Ahh..that’s fine. I’ll just pay with card since it doesn’t make much CENTS to pay with cash right now.” The young kid obviously not immune to Jin’s dad jokes started laughing hysterically.

“See Y/N. I am funny” Jin gloated

All I managed was a smile. Seeing the kid smile made me realize how corny Jin was, which is why I absolutely love him. “But I will admit, that one was clever.” I mumbled.

With both of us carrying groceries, we sped walked our way back considering the bags were heavy. I began ascending our porch steps when I saw that Jin was behind me.

“Babe, come on. They’re coming in an hour” I rushed him.

“I know, but you know me I don’t trust stairs.” He pouted.

“They’re always up to something,” we said simultaneously.

 “I know, I know. Now come on.” I added.  And in that moment, I saw Jin’s pout turn into a frown.

“You couldn’t let me have that one, now could you Y/N?” Jin angrily questioned as he unlocked the door.

“Honey, you made the kid laugh back there. You’ve made at least 10 jokes at the store back there. Besides, you always tell this one.” I said.

I rushed in with Jin behind me, scurrying to put the ice cream away and preparing the bison meat for the burgers. By the time we were done, it was 6 pm.

DING DONG!

Just in time. “Jin they’re here!” I shouted. I ran over to the door, breathless since the moment we got back.

“KATHERINE! NATALIE! MAX! SAM!” I hugged each one as they stepped in.

“Wow…your house smells so goood!” Natalie praised.

“I’m so glad you found someone who cooks better than you Y/N. I was getting worried there about you and your boyfriend.” Max teased.

“Oh shut up. At least she’s not the one who puts American cheese on instant ramen” Katherine defended.

“You guys can just sit at the table outside already, the food will be out in a moment.” I held my arm out gesturing to the slider doors at our house.

I ran to the kitchen to help Jin plating the food.

DING DONG!

“I got it,” Jin said.

I began placing the tomatoes on a huge platter when I heard a loud commotion coming from the front door.

“AYYYYYE!…JIN HYUNG!” I recognized those voices anywhere, it was Jin’s famous crew. It wouldn’t be a get together without Jimin, Jungkook, Hoseok, Namjoon, Yoongi, and especially Taehyung.

“Turn Up!” Tae shouted, as if he actually read your thoughts. As they passed by the kitchen to walk over to the patio, I was greeted by many enthusiastic hello’s and sweet smiles. Once I was done setting up the platter full of leafy lettuce, juicy tomatoes, rings of onions, and the many necessary ingredients for the burgers, Jin and I carried the platters and walked over to the patio. When I sat the platter on the table, and took my seat next to Jin, we all began building our burgers.

“Thanks for making the veggie burger for me Jin. Thank you for remembering Y/N.” Sam said.

“But Jin hyung, what kind of meat is this? It’s a bit bigger than a beef patty.” Namjoon asked inspecting the patty that sat in between the burger he finished assembling.

“It’s bison. I figured you guys might enjoy them.” I assured Namjoon.

Once everyone finished making their burgers to their specific modifications, the room fell silent as well collectively took a bit out of our burgers. Well, almost silent. Just like his dad jokes, Jin isn’t himself unless he makes his “nom” noise after the first bite of the food he’s eating. But in my honest opinion, it’s one of the cutest noises out there in the world, right after his adorable windshield wiping, window washing laughter.

“Oh my god” Jin said, his voice muffled from the food in his mouth. “What did the buffalo say when his son went off to college?”

“Nope..” Yoongi began stuffing his mouth with even more food. Probably to prevent him from saying something mean to Jin.

“BISON!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA” Jin was laughing so hard, he almost choked on his burger. And when he suddenly fell silent, I began to get a little worried that air wasn’t passing through. “Mmm…what color is a burger?” Jin asked enthusiastically.

“BURGUNDY!” I heard Jimin say from the other side of the table. Exactly like earlier today, Jin went from a smile to a pout. Jin looked hurt. Everyone know’s that you’re not supposed to guess when Jin tells a joke, it’s the the unspoken rule of the group, but we all know it’s there. Although, occasionally we do it to tease him.

“Sorry hyung, but you’ve told that joke before, besides, laughing hurts my pride.” Jimin said softly.

“Ahhh…that’s ok, your hyung has plenty of other jokes.”

“Besides babe, you’ve made some pretty clever and not so clever ones today” I added.

“How many?” Jungkook asked.

“6? 7? Maybe 10?” I answered, each number receiving a higher pitch of my voice from the last.

“How many did you laugh at?” Yoongi looked at me coldly. I swear, he has less tolerance for Jin’s jokes than I do.

“Externally 2. Internally, all” I confessed.

“See,” Max started “this is why you two were meant for each other. You’ve always like jokes; bad, good, lame, or cool. Plus, you always made all these song references back in high school and there was no escaping them.”

“Yeah…but you always enjoyed the song references. We sang so many songs together back then!” I said, trying to defend my cheesiness.

The dinner ended around 10 pm after some much needed socialization, along with some we deserved happiness. Luckily, everyone helped with cleaning up, so Jin and I would be able to go to bed. It was an exhausting day after all.

We both crawled into bed, fatigued from our day. I turned to Jin and kissed him on the cheek “Thanks for the jokes babe.”

“I’m glad you enjoy them.” He smiled.

“I always do, no matter where I’m at, or what I’m doing. I always think about your jokes and the joy in your laughter. Good night, love you.” And with that I gave him one last kiss and we both fell asleep.