yes please count me in


i have 0 excuses okay i just saw @joliemariella‘s tags on my silly drunk Pap animation and 

look at all those friends

c’mon Sans, gotta carry ‘em for SCIENCE (and friendship)

anonymous asked:

i feel like a lot of your sanvers smut recently has been bottom!alex (which is equally great) but i would looove a fun lil fic where maggie is super sub & alex is ridiculously dom (also i love you)

She moans and she writhes and she begs Alex not to stop.

Alex stops anyway.

She stops anyway because the last card Maggie had picked from the deck they made together this afternoon, written in Maggie’s careful, elegant script reads:

Tease me until I can’t do anything but beg for you, Alex.

Maggie whines in disappointment and Alex barely contains her own groan, staring down at her girlfriend, squirming helplessly on Alex’s bed – their bed – blindfold and handcuffs the only things Maggie’s wearing.

The first card had gotten her hands cuffed above her head.

Cuff me down, Danvers. If you can.

She could.

The second card had gotten her clothes off. 

Undress me, Alex, as aggressive as you want.

She didn’t really need that tank top anyway, and she’d nearly cum without any touch just from watching Alex rip it.

The third card had gotten her the blindfold.

Blindfold me so I can’t see what you’re going to do to me next, Danvers. I trust you.

Alex let her watch her kiss every centimeter of her bare skin before putting it on.

The fourth had gotten her this merciless teasing.

Don’t let me cum until you want me to. Until I’m putty in your hands and all you want in life is to watch me unravel for you. 

And she is. Unraveling.

It goes well with the fifth card she chose – asking for Alex to tease her.

“They’re getting a little redundant, Sawyer – sounds like this teasing thing is something you really like,” Alex had teased after reading it out loud, slow and sultry and seductive.

“What can I say, Danvers, I love a woman who takes what she wants.”

Alex chuckles deep in her throat and licks her way up Maggie’s collarbone.

“Excellent. Because I want you. So. Damn. Badly. Maggie Sawyer.”

Maggie squirms in her cuffs. Licks her lips. Grinds her hips up. Whines. Loudly.

Alex shifts out of reach.

“Color?” Alex asks tenderly, softly, gently.

“Green,” Maggie whispers, and Alex smirks.

“Good. Then why don’t you be a good girl for me and tell me what happens when you make this much noise?”

“You draw another card,” Maggie whispers again, her voice trembling, bringing Alex’s lips down to her exposed wrists.

“Excuse me?” she asks, and her authoritative tone contrasts headily with the gentleness of her kiss.

“You… you draw another card, Agent Danvers.”

“Mmm, there’s my girl,” Alex kisses her lips, and Maggie’s entire body keens upward for her.

She chuckles when she reads it silently to herself, and Maggie whines.

“What’s it say, Danvers?”

“Well, well, Detective Sawyer.” She clears her throat, and she reads.

Make me count for you, Alex. Make me count to whatever number you want. Whatever you want.”

Maggie bites her lips and whines and arches her hips up desperately. “Alex, please,” she pants.


“Green, please, Alex.”

“You want me to make you count, babe?”

“I…. y… yeah. Yes.”

Alex waits. She doesn’t touch her. Maggie groans and writhes and understands, even without being able to see Alex licking her lips, staring down at the woman she loves like she’s a work of art.

“Yes, Agent Danvers. I want you to make me count for you.”

Alex moans and smirks and – finally – brings her lips down to Maggie’s stomach. 

“I’ll be right back, okay? You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, Alex. I trust you. Yeah.”

Alex beams and kisses Maggie’s lips gently, shifting off the bed to put on her harness. To put on her strap-on.

“Maggie. Do you want to count while I fuck you?”

Maggie whines and writhes and barely contains a scream. “Yes,” she chokes out, and Alex groans. “Yes, please, Danvers.”

“Okay babe. I need you to count to ten for me. Each time I slam into you. Understood?”

“Yes. Yes. Understood.”

Alex licks her fingers and slowly, slowly, slowly, slips them between Maggie’s open legs. 

“Shhh,” Alex guides as Maggie whines, thrusts up, trying to take more of Alex inside her.

“Okay, you ready to count for me, Mags?”

“Mm…. mmhmm.”

“You sure?”

“Dammit, Danvers, just – “

Her frustration is lost in a wordless scream, as Alex shifts between her legs and slips her fingers out of her, her strap-on inside her, in one smooth go. She comes to rest buried deep inside her, and she waits.

“I… it… I… one.”

“Good girl, Maggie.”

She pulls back slowly, slowly, slowly. Maggie whimpers softly, but Alex lets it go. Alex slams back into her.

“T-t-two,” Maggie moans, and this time, Alex pulls back fast, immediate, harsh, before fucking her again.

“Alex, fuck – I – three,” Maggie screams, writhing, and Alex pulls out again.

“Mmm, you’re only allowed to say the numbers, sweetie. I’m gonna have to start again. See if you can make it even farther for me this time, okay? Color?”

“Green, I… fuck, green, Danvers, I… please…”

“Make it a little further for me this time, babe, okay? I know you can do it.”

Maggie whines and pants and bites her lips to keep her from begging.

She makes it, this time, to five. 

She makes it, this time, to five, before her entire body is so wrecked she can barely breathe.

“Color?” Alex demands before she thrusts into her again.

Maggie fidgets and she hesitates and she needs to breathe but can’t, god, she can’t.

“Yellow, Alex, yellow. Or like, orange.”

Alex freezes and gently lifts her weight off Maggie’s naked body, kissing her cheek soft and gentle and intimate.

“Okay, okay, hey. I love you, I’m here – do you want me to take this off?” she touches Maggie’s blindfold.

“Yeah,” Maggie breathes, heart swelling with appreciation for Alex’s care. For Alex’s gentleness. For Alex’s heart.

“Hey you,” Alex smiles when Maggie blinks her eyes open when Alex slips off the blindfold. “What do you need, beautiful? Do you need me to move?”

"No, no,” Maggie wraps her legs tighter around Alex’s hips. “Stay, I want you close, I just… you love me?”

“God, Maggie so much. I love you so, so much, Maggie Sawyer. Everything about you." 

Maggie chuckles breathily. "She says between my legs.”

“I would say it anywhere. Everywhere,” Alex answers without hesitation.

"Nerd,” Maggie beams, soft and adoring and god, so perfect.

"A nerd who’s wildly in love with you,” Alex doesn’t blink.

"Yeah?” Maggie smiles. “Show me, then. Uncuff me and make love to me, Alex Danvers.”

“Always, Maggie Sawyer. Always.”

Flower Crowns and Snakebites

Summary: Punk!Phil convinces Pastel!Dan to get snakebites, he finds out that Dan has a fear of needles/blood. This leads to a lot of comforting, cuddles, and all around fluffy cuteness.
Words: 2k
Warnings: needles, and blood if you squint.

“Hey bear?” Phil murmured into Dan’s hair as they cuddled on the couch.
“Mhmm?” Dan sleepily responded.
“Would you ever get other piercings? Maybe snakebites?”
“I don’t know, probably not, why?” “Oh, no reason!”
“Mmkay,” Dan muttered, falling asleep against Phil’s chest.
The next week at breakfast, Phil brought up the topic again.
“Dan, baby, you would look adorable with a lip piercing, or an eyebrow bar or something!”
“Wh- Phil! You’re the one with the dyed fringe and the tattoos and the gauges and the piercings! I think I’ll stick with my pink jumpers and flower crowns, thanks.”
Phil didn’t accept this answer, he knew that he was the one with more piercings, but that didn’t mean Dan couldn’t have some, too.
“You have your ears pierced already, don’t you think it would look great?”
“The earrings fit my aesthetic, obviously! Plus earlobes don’t hurt /that/ much. But pastels and snakebites do look cute, I will admit that.”
“So it’s a maybe!?”
“It’s a maybe.”
After they had both changed into pajamas, and were hopping into Phil’s bed for the night, Dan made his decision.
“Hey Phil, I think I’ll get the snakebites.”
Phil was definitely surprised.
“Really? I totally thought you would say no!”
“Well I like the way they look, and so do you, and those are the only two opinions that matter, yeah? There’s kinda a problem though.”
Dan tacked the last sentence on in a rush of nervous mumbling.
“What is it, Bear?”
“Umm, I might be scared of needles, and blood, maybe. And I might have fainted right after I got my ears pierced. But y'know, maybe not.” Dan practically whispered.
“Oh, baby! I never knew that, why didn’t you tell me earlier? Do not get the snakebites if you’re going to work yourself up, or give yourself anxiety or a panic attack over the needles, yeah?” Phil cooed worriedly.
“Well, 1st question on the list, I never told you because you have all of these tattoos and piercings, and you’re so brave, and if I told you, you would think I was weak, and I am, it’s a stupid fear! I should’ve outgrown it when I was 3!”
Phil stopped him before he could move on to answer #2.
“Dan! I don’t think you’re weak, it’s actually kind of cute, if I’m being honest, and a fear is never something to apologize for! Don’t invalidate what you’re scared of, feeling fear is ok, and it’s a very rational and common one. Pain isn’t a good feeling, and getting a piercing is filed with it. I understand, and if you still want the piercings, I will be right next to you to hold your hand and give you lots of cuddles after ok?”
Dan looked up from under his hands, which he had used to cover his glassy eyes.
“Ok, can I answer part two?”
“Of course Bear.”
“Well I still want to get them, because we both like the look, and kissing would be so much better!”
Phil let out a quiet laugh at his adorable boyfriend, kissed his head, and said they would finish talking in the morning, after they had a few ounces of energy coursing through them.
Over coffee with plenty of cream and sugar the next morning, they discussed Dan’s plan. They would both go to Phil’s favorite tattoo shop after lunch, and Dan would get his piercings.
“Phil, how much did your lip ring hurt?”
“Absolute truth, just a little bit more than getting my ears pierced, before I got gauges. It hurt more while it was healing though.”
“More?” Dan asked, his brown eyes widening in fear.
“Just a little, I’ll be there for support, ok, you’re gonna do great.”
Dan whimpered a little, before asking his second question.
“How long after did it hurt?”
“Well, it healed after about a month, and it stopped hurting after 2 weeks I think.”
After taking a deep breath, Dan responded.
“Ok, I could probably handle it hurting after I guess, it’s just the needle that really scares me, I don’t even know why.”
“That’s nothing to be ashamed of, ok Bear? I’m gonna be there, you’ll be fine, it will be over really, really quickly. The needle will only be in for a few seconds.”
Phil said, scooting closer to Dan and rubbing his arm and shoulder comfortingly. After lots of post-lunch cuddles and reassurance, Phil called for a taxi to take them to the shop.
Dan sat in an intimidating black dentist style chair, gripping Phil’s hand. The fact that his piercer, Jack, had commented on how he didn’t seem like the kind of person that would get snakebites was not helping the fear squirming and growing in his stomach. As soon as Jack swung open the door marked “Employees Only,” where he had gone to clean the needle, Dan audibly whimpered, tightening his grasp on Phil’s hand, so that both of their knuckles ran the color of a sheet of paper.
Phil had to stifle the urge to utter an “aww” out of pity as Dan’s chocolate eyes stared up at him, brimming with fear of the needles, and the pain accompanied by them. He twirled a strand of Dan’s hair around his finger, calming the younger boy’s heartbeat slightly, and leaned down to be heard by him.
“It’s ok, love, we can still leave if you want to, there’s no reason we have to stay if this isn’t what you want. Make sure you’re getting this for the right reasons, not because you want to prove yourself to me, or something silly like that, because I love you so much, and this won’t make me love you more, or make me love you less. We’re only staying if you are doing this for you.”
Dan’s watery eyes stared into Phil’s blue ones, as he thought about what Phil had just told him.
“No, I want them for me /and/ for you, and that’s all the reason I need. It won’t hurt for too long, and it maybe it could help me not be so scared of needles anymore!” Dan smiled, and gave Phil a small peck on the lips.
“Look, Jack’s coming back.”
“Ok Dan, snakebites right?”
Dan said, almost in a whisper.
“Are you ok? You seem really nervous. It won’t hurt a lot, this one’s not that bad.”
Phil took it upon himself to tell the piercer that Dan was scared of needles and blood.
Dan replied, feigning annoyance. In actuality he was glad that was out in the open, so the piercer could be more careful, and maybe distract him.
“Hey, that’s cool,”
Jack replied.
“Tons of our customers are like that. It really won’t hurt too much. What I’m gonna do is squeeze this clamp around the piercing site, and I’m not gonna lie here, that part will probably hurt. It’s better that way though, because it will make the piercing easier overall, and make the area more numb.” He explained.
“Oh, ok.” Dan felt more comfortable knowing exactly what would happen.
“Do you want me to count to 3?”
“Umm, yes please.” Dan answered.
As the piercer tightened the clamp on Dan’s lower lip, his eyes got bigger and bigger, his eyebrows knitting together, and his previous comfort forgotten. Phil gave Dan’s pale hand a squeeze, then reached his other hand up to ruffle his hair, then rub it shoulder. As Jack reached for the needle, Dan squeezed his eyes shut, and Phil spouted words at him, attempting to distract him from the needle about to be driven into his poor boyfriends lip. Why had he brought this up in the first place? Dan was way too sensitive for this! Then Phil thought rationally, Dan had his ears pierced, and he wanted these snakebites, he could definitely handle this, his mint sweatshirt and purple converse didn’t mean Dan was any less strong than he was because of his blue fringe and black skinny jeans. Then before either of them knew it, Jack was saying 1…2…3 and gently pushing the needle into the space between the clamp.
Dan squeaked at the contact, and the pain and shock of having a piece of metal through your flesh. The stud was pushed through, one silver rod replacing another, and Dan let a few small whimpers run away from his lips, Phil’s concern for his adorable boyfriend growing with each high pitched noise. Jack went in back to ready the next needle for the other side of Dan’s mouth, leaving Phil alone with a Dan whose mouth still stung.
“Are you ok, baby bear?”
“Phiw, it huwts!”
Dan exclaimed, lip quivering, and still adjusting to the metal blocking the letter “L” from leaving his mouth.
“Shhh, I know it still hurts, it’s ok. The needle is done, yeah? You’re already halfway there! Just the other side, and then you’ll actually have snakebites!”
“I don’t wanna do the other side, Phil! I don’t like the needle and the blood and it’s scary and it hurts a lot!”
Dan was going to start crying in a few seconds, and Jack would be back soon, so Phil only had a few seconds to figure this out.
“You can’t stop now Dan, you’re so brave! Remember why you wanted to get this done? We both thought it would look gorgeous, and I think you’re gonna love it, so why don’t you try to do this, ok? If it will make you feel great when you look at yourself in the mirror, then it’s worth it, yeah? I’m so, so proud of you, love, and when we get home I’ll kiss it to make it better.”
Phil added with a wink.
“Ok, I love you Phil.”
“I love you too, are you ready?”
“Yeah, I think I am.”
Dan’s lip was invaded with a sharp object for the second time that day, and it hurt just as much. He felt the initial sting, the warmth of his blood rushing to the area, and the lasting combination of a slightly dulled burn and an intense ache. His breathing slowed as he realized that he was done. No more needles would be going through his face that day.
Looking up a at Phil with gigantic eyes filled with surprise, he said simply,
“I did it!”
“Yeah baby, you did.”
Phil replied, kissing the top of Dan’s head.
“and your bottom lip might swell, but keep it iced, and it shouldn’t be too bad, and that will also help with any residual pain.”
Jack finished his speech.
Dan practically yelled, high on adrenaline and exhaustion.
“Dan, let’s get you home, ok? You must be tired after everything that you’ve done today.”
Phil assumed, beaming with pride at the younger man.
The moment Dan and Phil closed the front door of their flat, they ran over to the couch together. Phil turned on an episode of their latest anime, and Dan laid his head on Phil’s chest, falling asleep as Phil’s protective arms worked their way around his stomach. Just before Dan phased out of consciousness, he heard Phil whisper to him.
“I’m so proud of you, Dan. You were so brave, and you did so well. Plus, now you look even more adorable, which I didn’t even know could happen, and I /can’t wait/ to kiss you tomorrow.”
Phil muttered, knowing Dan couldn’t comprehend what he was saying in his state. And with a kiss to Dan’s hair, he added,
“Good night, I love you.”
“I love you too, Phil.”
They both drifted into their dreams. Beautiful ones of kisses filled with blue hair and tattoos, flower crowns and snakebites, and above all, love.
Hey friends! I hope you liked this fanfiction! If you want to you can leave some constructive criticism, or tell me what you liked about it. Thanks! :D
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12 YEARS and now i can finally use this gif i had it saved for years just waiting for this moment

it was good to know you all but now i must go to my doom and i do so gladly 

ok guys I really don’t know anything aside from the past three posts on this blog. Talk to ea yes expansions count and get customer service please stop asking me