He’s staring at you- God is staring at you with such a pained expression it’s making your stomach a little sick. Your hands are slick with sweat, still clutching the angel blade tightly in your hands. Lucifer’s arm is heavy across your shoulders, his taller form leaning down so his head is closer to yours and you know he is smiling.
“I don’t,” Your lips tremble, your body is afraid of the position it is in, but you don’t feel that fear. “I don’t mean to rush you but I have the devil on my shoulder, so if we could get to the point.” You wanted to know what all of this meant, why God recognized you. Why any of this was happening.
Why you were missing a piece.
Lucifer laughs and his breath brushes against your ear, an involuntary shiver crawling it’s way down your spine.
“I like her.” He says calmly, the hand wrapped around your shoulder patting you against your arm.
Chuck frowns, lips twitching down and his mouth opens, closes, eyes the two of you and he lets out a long sigh. “It’s a long story.”
“Well we’re not going anywhere.” Dean says, clearly frustrated now at the predicament everyone was in, that you were in.
“Right, right.” Chuck says, resembling his vessel more than the almighty God that everyone praised him to be. He was, maybe, but in this moment he looked confused, hurt, and you didn’t understand it. Didn’t know why.
“Any time now, before Lucifer decides to snap her neck.” Dean’s anger is growing, frustrated he can’t get you out of the situation, frustrated that none of this is making any sense. But Chuck is quick to respond, confidently.
“He won’t hurt [Name].”
“What makes you think I won’t?” Lucifer takes it as a challenge, the arm that’s not wrapped around your shoulder moves back to your chin and tugs on it.
“Because she’s your charge.” Chuck says finally, the sympathetic expression on his face wiped away to a more serious one as he eyes his favorite.
“What?” Castiel finally speaks up, apparently knowing exactly what that means, but you’re still unsure of it. Chuck glances at Castiel and then back to the two of you.
“When I created humans,” He starts looking at Lucifer. “I wanted you all to live with them, peacefully, happily. For every angel there was going to be a human counterpart. I wanted you all to see why I loved humans so much, and I wanted you to love them too.” His lips purse, a pained expression crossing his face.
“[Name], was-is your charge, Lucifer.”
Lucifer isn’t moving, you aren’t sure if he’s even breathing.
“When I created her, I felt.. She would have been the perfect one for you to watch over. Just enough trouble to keep you on your toes, witty, sly, funny. Caring, kind. Everything I felt you embodied, too. But.. when you refused, when you fell-”
“You mean when you cast me out.” Lucifer corrects through clenched teeth, and the hand around your shoulder tightens.
“When you fell,” Chuck continues, “I had only just begun picking each charge for each angel. [Name] was the first one to have been connected to you, I had wanted to surprise you.”
“Color me surprised.” Lucifer says, his tone flat and unimpressed at this information.
“But you fell, and you took an army of angels with you- it screwed up the balance of things. There weren’t enough, I realized then that maybe giving each a charge wouldn’t work. Not if so many of you despised humans the way you did, I was afraid if I had connected everyone to an angel like I did you and [Name] it would end in disaster.”
“Connected?” Sam says slowly, inching forward to look at Chuck with a bewildered expression. Chuck looks over at him and sighs, glancing down at the ground and rubbing at his face.
“The myth that every person is one soul, torn in two?”
“That whole soulmate mumbo jumbo crap?” Dean asks, bemused.
“Yes, the foundation for that myth came from this. I planned to connect the two, so that you could share experiences better, understand one another better and grow from it. But after Lucifer fell, I realized it wouldn’t be good. Not if more continued to fall.”
“I’m connected to Lucifer?” It slips past your mouth, the surprise in your tone matching your expression and Chuck looks over at you and smiles bitterly.
“Yes. You were the only ones I connected before it all fell apart, from there I decided since there were more human charges than angels, I would just assign them to watch over you, quietly, from the distance. To prevent anything happening again.”
“Is this why he said I’m missing a piece?” You blurt, Lucifer’s words about your missing puzzle piece ringing in your head.
“No, that was my doing.”
“Your doing?” It comes out of your mouth a whisper, disbelief.
“When Lucifer fell, you two were connected. Him being in hell was agonizing for you, to feel the flames against your soul, to feel such hatred and anger within you. I didn’t know what else to do, some suggested I.. Some suggested things I refused to do.”
“Destroy her soul, you mean.” Lucifer clarifies for you, and Chuck nods slowly.
“I loved her too much, she’s my child. I didn’t.. I didn’t want to destroy her for my mistake, so I did the only thing I could think of. I took apart of her soul out.”
“Why don’t you tell her what piece?” You aren’t sure you want to know, you do but you don’t. Your fingers are trembling and you must be cold to be shaking his badly, but the little voice is asking where the fear is, why you aren’t scared. You know it has to do with that missing piece.
“I took out the portion of your ability to feel.”
“To feel?” You echo.
“Yes,” His expression is pained, and it hurts a part of you to see it. “It was the only thing I could do, I couldn’t remove the connection I had tried. I didn’t realize.. It wouldn’t separate. So I did the only thing I could do to ease your pain, I took away your ability to feel. Compassion, kindness, I took most of it. Others, like the anger, the fear, those are from Lucifer, muted because your ability to feel is gone, but you can feel that anger through his.”
The irrational anger, that always roared to life like a flame didn’t come from you, it came from Lucifer. You felt those things through him and his ability to feel, not your own.
“If that’s the case why didn’t [Name] turn into some psychopath killer?” Dean asks, as if he isn’t buying this whole fairytale straight from a nightmare.
“Because she still knew right from wrong. Taking away her ability to feel didn’t take away her knowledge of right and wrong, she just.. Didn’t feel anything for either. Didn’t go on a killing spree,” He cast Dean a bemused expression. “Because her moral compass knew better.”
“So she’s mine.” Lucifer says in such a way that your entire body trembles, it knows fear but you do not.
“No,” Chuck says, a hard look on his face. “She is not yours, she is not a toy, if anything you were hers. Her guardian angel.”