yes i snorted

10

Osomatsu-san favorites: Ichimatsu + weirdly relatable things
“Just now… You thought I was trash, didn’t you? That’s right, I am trash, I am garbage, unburnable trash with no will to live. …Ah, "unburnable trash” is a good phrase. I’ll write it down.“

Roommates

Pairing: College AU Henry CavillxOC and Chris EvansxOC some Chris EvansxOCxHenryCavill

it’s all smut

Originally posted by 12graphics

Originally posted by ohevansmycaptain

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Hey Bones trash

I have a theory on Bones laugh. It lovely and rich, you know broad and brassy. 

Until. He laughs too hard for too long and he snorts. Yes. I think Bones is a snorter. The harder he laughs the more it happens. Only Jim knows. He tries to replicate that fateful day during their academy years.

What do you think Bones fam?

@outside-the-government @feelmyroarrrr @answer-the-sirens @yourtropegirl @star-trekkin-across-theuniverse @trekken81 @imaginestartrek

Asking For It [7/?]

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warning: Swearing, arguing, sister trouble, and basically shit gets ugly.

A/N: Let me know what you think and if you want to be tagged?

From the beginning

Your life couldn’t get more perfect, an Avenger, engaged to Steve Rogers, your life was better than you planned. That is till your twin sister shows up, shady as they come you knew better than to trust her. Mirrored features, but two completely different people. She’s stirring up trouble in your perfect life, but what happens when Buck falls hard for her and you know she’s up to no good?Can you convince him she’s bad news before he’s too far into her web?

You sip your coffee in the quiet, sitting at the island, staring out into the living room, at the windows showing the skyline. The sound of people waking and leaving their rooms pulls your attention. You sip your coffee as the team slowly trickles into the kitchen. Greeting Sam and Steve, who leans down kissing your cheek, you smirk at Nat as she steals fruit from your plate. Going completely sour as Ava and Buck join the rest of you.

“Good morning.” Clint smiles at you. You stand up, nodding to him, lips pressed together.

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Hitched (6/11)

a Captain Swan AU fan fiction

Summary:  After a series of events leave her life in pieces, Emma Swan finds herself hitchhiking out of Maine, her wallet empty and her heart broken. The best she hopes for is a driver who isn’t a pervert and takes her far away from the painful memories of Storeybrooke. But when she finds a ride with a quiet truck driver named Jones, Emma discovers that maybe a trustworthy friend is all she needs.

Rating: M or MA; some profanity and sex scenes.

Cover art: created by the absolutely fabulous @thesschesthair!!

Links: ff.net // ao3 // ch. 1 //  ch. 2 // ch. 3 // ch. 4 // ch. 5 // ch. 7 // ch. 8 // ch. 9 // ch. 10 // epilogue

(also @teamhook, @like-waves-on-the-beach, @lenfaz, @followbatb, @stardusted-nymph, and @optomisticgirl, thank you thank you thank you for reading and requesting tags!)

previous

CHAPTER SIX

It wasn’t until Jones upended the toolbox, its contents flying everywhere as he swore so loudly she could hear it from inside the cab, that Emma finally sighed and cracked open her door.

She hopped out and slammed the door after, crossing her arms and shivering at the chill, rounding the front of the rig. Not that it was that much warmer inside the cab, but at least there wasn’t a piercing wind, cutting through her coat and hat like they were nothing, driving tiny specks of frigid rain into her flesh.

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It was honestly getting out of hand. This is not what Tasha had in mind when she had the airport evacuated. It was more to make sure Barnes doesn’t accidentally hurt someone and maybe avoid people snapping pictures and tweeting about Avengers arguing with each other. And what the fuck was Clint doing here? Admittedly, she could have left a more detailed explanation with Vision as to why Wanda was confined to the compound though she thought that Wanda was intelligent enough to draw her own conclusions. Apparently she wasn’t.

“Is this part of the plan?” Nat asked after Tasha helped her up.

“No, this definitely was not part of the plan. Damn Rogers and his ‘punch-the-way-out’ mindset. Want to switch it up?”

“Sure.” It was with practiced ease that Iron Woman had Black Widow in tight but safe grip, flying short way across the landing strip in order to land in the path of Cap’s team.

“Captain Rogers… I know you believe what you’re doing is right. But for the collective good…you must surrender now.” It pained her how incredibly like J.A.R.V.I.S. Vision sounded sometimes. But the good captain apparently was not listening if the advancing was anything to go by. Well fuck.

“They are not stopping.” She could have gone without kid’s comment. In a matter of seconds they were beating each other again. It was insane. And she had run out of patience. “Vision, take out the quinjet. It seems they won’t stop until they reach it.” Tasha instructed, dodging the shield Rogers threw at her.

The android disengaged his fight with the newcomer with the suit that could apparently enlarge as well as shrink; and turned his attention to the open hangar where the powered down quinjet was waiting. Iron Woman’s instruction was sound. Taking out a way to escape reduced the probability of prolonged fighting. Checking yet again if there was someone around the hangar, short beam of yellow energy burst from the gem on his forehead and the quinjet was reduced to a smoking pile of scrap. It was a shame really, for Tasha Stark took great pride in designing and building it. The resulting explosion served as a short moment of pause as the realization of no escape settled on Captain America’s team.

“I will say it one last time!” There was no restraint in anger that boomed from Iron Woman. “Stand the fuck down!”

Spider-man used the distraction to shoot copious amount of webbing at Hawkeye, Falcon and Scarlet Witch, effectively pinning them to the ground. It was after all the reason why she brought him to Germany in the first place. The close contact combat was not it. Black Panther had Barnes pinned as well, Black Widow was eyeing the man in giant form with all the suspicion of the world whilst War Machine was hovering near him as well, ready to act at any sudden move. For the first time since this whole shitty mess started, Captain America looked indecisive and unsure. It was more than likely because his only effective way out was blown up. Looking at his now subdued teammates, he let the shield he retrieved fall from his hand. “You’re making a mistake Tasha.”

“Then it is mine to make. As it was your mistake in deciding to not contact me before this fight went down or even to listen to me back at the task force.” She turned to Black Widow. “Please inform Everett Ross to send a transport for everyone.”

The giant man finally shrunk down to the normal size, hands raised up in surrender. She would find out exactly what his name was later. “Stay put Rogers.” Tasha ordered when he moved to follow her approach to Barnes, reinforcing it with a raised gauntlet waiting to fire off an energy blast. The helmet collapsed when she kneeled in front of Barnes. “Who am I talking to right now?”

“Sergeant James Barnes, serial number 32557038.”

“It’s nice to meet you at last Barnes. I believe I have something to help with your conditioning problem.”

“Steve didn’t mention that.”

Tasha snorted. “Yes, I am beginning to learn how elective he is with words. We’ll discuss it later.”

Black Widow returned with small caravan of SUV’s and prisoner transport trucks in tow, gear was taken away, handcuffs were slapped on and everyone made their way back to Berlin. Tasha was already having a headache just thinking about conversations that were to be had in about two hours. Making sure Spider-man was safely on board her private jet with Happy, Tasha slipped into the backseat of the black SUV; content to find out that there was no one else in it. She just needed a quiet minute or two.

***

“You know you are not obligated to talk to them any further. That is actually my job at this point.”

Why did she stop drinking? Because she could fucking use one right now. “I like you much better than the other Ross. So if you could just let me deal with this shit please? I promise you can hash out all the details on them later because frankly I am just about done.”

The shorter man eyed her, finally shrugging his shoulder and pointed to the heavily guarded conference room where the rogue Avengers as media was already calling them were being kept. He made it crystal clear that they should be in cells already but he was not going to go against the higher ups. And seeing the plain exhaustion of her face, he decided that the woman should have some sort of satisfaction out this entire clusterfuck. “You look ready to keel over.” Nat commented bluntly, matching her steps with Tasha’s.

“Let’s just get this over with, okay? I really don’t want to talk about anything else.” Two women already found Rhodey, Vision and T’Challa sitting at the same table, facing the other team with expressions varying from unconcealed anger to pensive curiosity. “Are the handcuffs really necessary?”

“I’m not here for chit chat, Rogers.”

“Where’s Bucky?”

Rhodey snorted loudly and Tasha rolled her eyes. “You have unbelievably single track mind, it’s amazing. You people collectively broke more international laws than most terrorists do and you keep yapping about your best friend. He’s fine; I negotiated with Ross to have him transferred to one of my facilities under heavy guard just in case the other Ross had any bright ideas. We-” she motioned to her team. “Are here to talk about the supposed Winter Soldiers.”

“Oh, so now you care?” Clint shot out, not even attempting to hide his discontent.

“Mr. Barton.” T’Challa cut in before Tasha could speak again. “The entire defense of your team sits on this supposed threat. Make no mistake; your position is very precarious.”

“Barnes already gave us some intel, we just want to corroborate that he told you the same thing.”

“And then what?”

Vision leaned forward in his seat. “And then captain Rogers, we are going to go and investigate the validity of those claims. I believe they will be taken into account when joint counter terrorism centre brings up the charges. I believe Mr. Ross has far more detailed explanation of how things will proceed from here.”

“And the Russians are just going to let you waltz in their backyard?” Sam sounded guarded and doubtful.

“Considering they have to deal with public backlash of Barnes being used as KGB’s assassin and likelihood that they have been storing several more on ice all this time after everything that happened, yes, they will let us just waltz into their backyard.” Rhodey ground out.

“Look, we will check this either way Rogers. You cooperating might do you some good. Time to start using that head of yours for something other than punching and thinking about your war buddy.”

“You mean compromise?”

Tasha pinched the bridge of her nose. “Not this again Rogers. I am not talking about this with someone who has not even read the Accords. None of you did, I bet.”

“You owe it -” “Enough Captain.” T’Challa was on his feet now. This was not how they discussed making their marriage public knowledge but he could not stand to watch any longer to his wife’s former team mate look at her like she was ultimate disappointment in his life. “My wife does not owe you or anyone here anything beyond the common curtsey of civil conversation.”

One could hear a needle fall in the room that is how silent it was. Steve noticed that aside from Rhodes, everyone was sporting various degrees of surprise on their faces. And Tasha looked uncharacteristically pleased with it. “Is this some sort of joke?”

“I assure you Mr. Barton; I would never joke on the matter of our marriage. You have never inquired if Tasha was seeing anyone, you just made assumptions. Besides, we preferred our privacy.”

“So it was another secret.” At best, he sounded like it was something he believed to be completely in character with her and was therefore disappointed that she did not learn from past experiences.

Tasha’s eyes narrowed. “Rogers…my marriage is of absolutely no importance to the events that have transpired in last few days. So fuck you for trying to use it as some sort of springboard for your moral crusade. I’m done.” T’Challa wasted no time in following after her.

“Tasha slow down.” It was not that he could not catch up with her but it was the way she was gripping her left arm while she was marching away that had him concerned. “I am sorry for blurting it out like that but I could not watch him step on you any longer.”

“It’s fine, really.” Her breathing suggested otherwise.

“What injuries did you sustain in the fight?” His eyes tried to asses her condition but aside from the black eye, she had no visible injuries.

“None. But uh, my left arm is kind of numb. Is that normal?”

No, it was not normal at all and the panic he experienced seconds before the bomb went off returned with full force. “You need to see a doctor straight away.”

“What? No, I’m good.”

“Please, intanda, do not argue with me. Not now.” Her acquiescence after his plea was short lived because not ten steps later; she collapsed and would have kissed the floor face first were it not for his fast reflexes. With relative ease, he scooped her up and called for help. He lost his father; he would not lose her too.


@queenyavengers So you wanted a secretly married IronPanther, yes? Here’s a short thing plus angst.

my absolute otps for shutara:                        secretly:

aizen x shu                                              yhwach x shu
mayuri x shu                                            shunsui x shu

meanwhile since ila is on vacation, they too! @deusuprema

i was tagged by @magnusfray ty!!!

rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better

A - age: 20
B - birthplace: small town in romania
C - current time: 10:07pm
D - drink you had last: cola
E - easiest person to talk to: alisa and abi
F - favourite song: it always changes but right now la vida es un sueño karol sevilla
G - grossest memory: when a drunk guy that was like 15 years older hit on me and tries to kiss me (i was 16 at the time)
H - horror yes or no: yes if i watch it with someone
I - in love? no
J - jealous of people? nope
K - killed someone? snorts yes i did. meral an hour ago :)) if you stop seeing her on your dash you know who’s to blame
L - love at first sight or should i walk past again? i’m more of a hate at first sight believer. like if someone makes a bad first impression on me, it sticks
M - middle name: maria
N - number of siblings: zero
O - one wish: so many, but right now to stop letting my fears and anxiety control my life
P - person i called last: idek
Q - question you’re always asked: um idk tbh
R - reason to smile: my dogs
S - song you last sang: cuenta conmigo elenco soy luna
T - time you woke up: around 10
U - underwear color: black and white
V - vacation: anywhere there’s sea
W - worst habit: i never express my feelings and keep everything locked up
X - xrays: on my lungs
Y - your favourite food: lmao idek rn i don’t eat much these days
Z - zodiac sign: virgo

Tagging: @jacehvrondale @softshumjr @magnuslights @hufflebee @kimtrinis @alecsplushpillow @canislytherinthings @eizaagonzalez @zachdemspy @pure-magnus @claryfire @alec-magnvs @darklingsbrekker @ohbrekker @softdaddario @jacelightwoods @bisexualninej @alishawanwright @madzie-bane @simonlevvis

Seal (Taehyung x Reader), pt. 3

The teapot is no longer a teapot.

Part 1Part 2 ○ more magical BTS here

fluff, 2.7k words, taehyung/reader, demon au


It’s only when you get home, sprawled out on your bed with your bedroom window open, that you panic. You bolt upright.

You never gave Taehyung money for train tickets.

You curse under your breath, wonder how the hell he was going to get home. He could walk, you supposed, but it was insanely far; a train was much more convenient. Man, Taehyung was going to kill you.

Suddenly, you hear muffled cursing as someone clambers through your window. You whip out your wand and grab the jar of emergency hellfire you keep stowed underneath your bed, your hair standing on end, until the silhouette wriggles his shoulders through the window and into the light and you recognize Taehyung, looking disheveled.  “Tae, oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you say, setting your weapons down. He tumbles onto the ground and groans. “How did you get home? I forgot to get you money for train tickets. You’re incredibly fast if you got here by foot.”

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Strong

Hi everybody! Merry Christmas! Here’s the older!Damian oneshot, as promised - but no picture this time, because I didn’t want to steal anyone’s artwork. Enjoy!

AU where older!Damian (17 or so) is the leader of the YJ team as Robin. Note: Not at all medically accurate; this is not how concussions work and u should go to the hospital if you find yourself with one.

Your head was buzzing, but the ice-pack you held against it was infinitely soothing. And with each member of the team who came through the Zeta tubes, another weight lifted off your chest. You took a breath and lifted your feet onto the bench. This mission hadn’t been a total failure, but any mission that ended with getting chased by angry hyenas couldn’t exactly count as a complete success, either. 

The Zeta buzzed again, but you didn’t need the readout of his designation to know it was Damian. 

“Where is she?” There was no break in his stride, even as he materialized into the Watchtower from the Gotham docks where you’d all run afoul of Harley Quinn’s pets.

Lazily, you lifted a hand. “I’m here, Robin.” Groaning, you got to your feet and swayed a little. 

Quickly, Damian crossed the room to you, and cupped your face in both hands. “Are you hurt, my love?” His eyes, bright with worry, scanned over your face. 

You smiled sleepily, and reached a hand up to touch his cheek. “I’m good, Dami. It was my fault.”

He clicked his tongue. “What was? Are you hurt?” He ran his thumbs over your cheekbones, and you let a lazy smile bloom over your face.

“I…might’ve gotten knocked on the head? I think.” You nodded, jarring your aching eyes. “Yeah, I fell just before we got to the booth, remember?”

He stepped back, ears going pink. Uh-oh. There was no surer way to tell if he was upset than looking at his ears. Pink was definitely not a good sign. Hastily, you stood and put one hand on his shoulder.

 “Dami, I’m okay,” you insisted. The world swam around you. You steadied yourself against him and found his face again. “Seriously. I just have to sleep it off, and besides, isn’t this what I signed up for?”

His nostrils flared, and he huffed, arms crossed over his chest. “It still isn’t -”

“And didn’t we win? We got the bad guys!”

“Some of them,” he muttered. Gingerly, be brushed his fingers over the goose-egg on your forehead. You hissed and pulled away; a wave of dizziness threatened to topple you to the floor. 

“I gotta sleep,” you mumbled. “Help me out, babe?”

The lines of his face softened, transforming his stern, ‘I-am-the-fearless-son-of-batman-” face to the face of your sweet, caring boyfriend. He dipped his head. “Of course, my love. Let’s get you to med bay.”

A few days of rest and a lot of ice cream later, you stood in the briefing room once again, watching with pride as Damian paced back and forth, explaining this new mission. His back was straight, his expression calm and commanding, even with his eye mask on. You bit your lip to keep from smiling like an idiot. God, you loved this boy so much. 

So much, in fact, that you weren’t even listening. Which, if he knew, he’d totally kick your ass for. Your ears caught a shred of sound that followed your name, and you forced yourself to listen closer.

“ - will stay behind and monitor from the Watchtower.” 

Wait. What?

His gaze flicked over the assembled team, searching faces. “Any questions?”

Believe it, buddy, you thought venomously. But you’d wait - it wasn’t fair to cause a scene in front of everyone. The rest of the team stayed silent. 

Damian nodded, short and sharp. “Good. Dismissed. We leave immediately.”

 As everyone filed forward to the Zeta tube, you caught Damian by the arm. “Dami, what the hell?” you hissed. “Is this about my concussion? I’m fine -”

“It’s not about that, Y/N,” he said curtly, and pulled his arm away. “I can’t see you get hurt again.” 

“How do you think I feel?” You stomped one foot. “I’m part of this team, Damian. You can’t just forbid me from -”

“Can’t I?” He arched one eyebrow. “Am I not the leader of this team? I’ve given you an order, Y/N. Follow it.” He turned to go, then stopped and considered you, spitting speechless fury. He leaned forward and pressed a tiny kiss on your forehead. “Goodbye, my love.”

Always one for dramatic exits, he stepped into the Zeta beam with a flash of light, leaving you alone and infuriated on the deck of the Watchtower. You stepped into the beam after him, but it faded to nothing, even when you yelled out your designation and stomped your foot. Dammit. He’d locked it somehow. “You arrogant pig!” you screamed after him. A stream of blistering curses followed; you didn’t  realize you’d been so loud until Captain Marvel cleared his throat behind you, looking both scandalized and embarrassed.

“Sorry, Billy,” you sighed. “I just really hate being left behind.” 

“Me too,” he said sympathetically. He was in his adult ‘captain marvel’ form, but you couldn’t see him as anything but a kid. His mannerisms, the way he spoke - they were too young for the body he wore.

“Hey,” he said, “I can help you monitor if you want. Red Tornado and I team up for it sometimes. I make pretty good popcorn.”

Your first instinct, of course, was to say no - to continue nursing your anger, to give the son of a bitch you called your boyfriend a sound thrashing when he came home. But Billy was so open and friendly - and technically, you had been ordered to monitor the team and alert them to any dangers they couldn’t see over comms. 

You sighed. “Sure, Billy. As long as there’s popcorn.”

You hadn’t really believed, when you’d first come to live here, that something you couldn’t even see from the ground could be so big. In just the Team’s section, there was the briefing room, a training arena, showers, dormitories (usually fairly empty) and a library. Even though, by now, you’d seen almost all of it, the library was still your favorite. 

Whoever had designed it had taken it for granted that people who came there would want to read comfortably, and so every surface not covered with books was littered with soft chairs - even the radiation-treated window that looked onto the Earth below. And there you sat, today, with your knees up to your chest and no book in your hand. Your throat stung, and you didn’t look away from the view of the moon when Damian sat down beside you. You couldn’t be certain, of course, but you had a sneaking suspicion his father had sent him in here.

“You better be here to apologize,” you muttered, and crossed your arms tight over your chest.

He’d come into the room with his head ducked and shoulders slumping - but now he straightened, mouth pressing into a thin line. “I should apologize for keeping you safe?” he snapped. 

Your lips twitched, and a growl rumbled in your throat. “Watch it.”

He huffed out a sigh and ran a hand through his dark hair. “Alright, fine. Yes. I’m here to apologize.”

“And?” You raised one eyebrow, arms still crossed.

“And…” he ground out the words like it was painful to say them. “And it was wrong of me to leave you behind without consulting you first. I am sorry.”

Your heart softened, but you didn’t let it show. “Promise to never do it again?”

His eyes flashed, and he sprang forward. “I - fine. I promise.”

You weren’t exactly done being mad yet, but you relaxed a little. Went from ‘hell hath no fury’ to ‘grumpy cat.’ You turned in your seat and faced him. 

“Damian, I love you,” you said, and reached out one hand to his. 

The corner of his lip twitched; he slumped forward in his seat. “I know. I love you too.”

“If it scared you that much to see me in the field, I would’ve waited.” Your voice came out much softer than you’d intended - there was supposed to be reproach in that statement, but there was none. 

He looked up and met your eyes. “You…you would’ve…”

“Waited,” you said firmly. “All you had to do was ask, dummy. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I hate being told what to do.”

He snorted. “Yes, I had noticed that.”

You stood up and moved across to sit beside him, and leaned on his shoulder. “Fight over?” you asked.

He smiled crookedly and wrapped one arm around you. “What fight?”

There were probably a thousand ways that you could’ve been interrupted right then. But none of them happened, and you sat in comfortable silence with him, watching the moon rise over the earth.

nerdydisney  asked:

Family au with Keith and Shiro are surprising the kids to a trip to Disneyland.

[The Voltron Family]

Keith and Shiro were lying on their bed, just talking after they both read their books (Keith was reading The Edge Chronicles while Shiro was reading The Inheritance Cycle), when Shiro brought it up.

Shiro: You free this Monday, right?
Keith: It’s a holiday. So yes, I am. *snorts*
Shiro: *beams* How about we all go to Disneyland this weekend?
Keith: BROOOOOOO *grabs his arm*
Shiro: *snorts* Stop calling me that. We just kissed a while ago. *rolls eyes*
Keith: *laughs* Sorry. But if I do remember correctly, you called me “bro” when you confessed your undying love to me.
Shiro: Oh my god. Let it go, Keith. *laughs*
Keith: *shakes head* Nah, I thought it was cute and fitting. We were bros so…
Shiro: *laughs* ANYWAYS. Let’s surprise the kids, make them all think we’re going camping this coming Saturday.
Keith: *snorts* They’re gonna be so happy. *grabs his phone and hands it to Shiro* Go book our reservation now. Two nights and three days. Go!
Shiro: *accepts the phone and smiles at Keith* Look at you. You used to be so frugal and now you’re the one initiating we book for two nights in Disneyland Resort. *sniffles* You’ve come so far, Keith. I’m so proud.
Keith: *rolls his eyes* Shut up. I just want our kids to be happy, okay? We can earn money anytime but—
Shiro: I get you. *nudges his husband* Okay, let’s do this. *unlocks phone*
Keith: *scoots closer to Shiro* *rests his chin on Shiro’s shoulder* *looks at phone* Oh, they’re having live shows. Should we book tickets for that?
Shiro: Hmmm, well, all three of them loved the movie Frozen so.
Keith: Do it. *taps the thing himself* Hunk’s going to cry and I’m so excited.
Shiro: *stares at Keith* I’m not sure if you want your child to be happy or…

As soon as the kids see Cinderella’s Castle from inside the car…

Lance: *taps Shiro’s shoulder nonstop* OH MY GOODNESS DADDY SHIRO!! DADDY SHIRO! DADDY SHIROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Shiro: *laughs* Lance, calm down! I’m driving!
Keith: *looks back to the backseat to check the kids* 
Hunk: I’m crying, Daddy Keith. I’M CRYING. *is literally crying*
Keith: *nudges Shiro* See? *laughs*
Pidge: *beams* I can’t believe you fooled us! *claps her hands* AHHH!! We’re in Disneylaaand! It’s my first time here! *jumps up and down from her seat*
Lance and Hunk: ME TOO!! *are sobbing messes*
Lance: I’m going to ask Cinderella to marry me! *excited*
Keith: *frowns* You’re too young, Lance. Stop dreaming.
Shiro: *gasp* KEITH! Don’t say stuff like that! Don’t crush his dreams!
Lance: I don’t care what you say, Daddy Keith. *crosses his arms* I’m going to marry her. Then Belle, cause she’s so pretty. Hunk can have Mulan.
Hunk: *blushes* I love Mulan.
Keith: *sniffles* Me, too, baby. Me, too. Good choice.
Lance: Hey! That’s not fair! Why is Hunk okay to marry Mulan and not me.
Keith: Cause Mulan is a badbutt punkbutt girl, Lance.
Lance: Uh! >B(
Pidge: That’s a lot of butt, Daddy Keith. *laughing hysterically*

So they entered the theme park and went to their hotel first to get them all settled in. They booked a family suite and Lance was the first one to jump up and down on his bed.

Shiro: *places all their bags* Lance, don’t jump too much or you’ll destroy the bed and you’ll have to sleep on the floor.
Lance: *abruptly stops* *worried* You won’t really make me sleep on the floor, will you, Daddy Shiro? 
Shiro: *is so weak for cute Lance* *places hand on chest* I’m not a cruel father. Of course I won’t do that.
Lance: *laughs and goes back to jumping*
Keith: *glares at Shiro pointedly*
Shiro: What? 

Their day was so tiring. They went to most of the rides the kids are allowed in. They hunted for all the princesses and princes and Lance had a photo with Cinderella wherein she kissed him on the cheek. Hunk got a photo with Mulan and they were holding hands, Hunk was blushing so hard. Keith had a photo with Mulan and HE WAS A BLUSHING MESS TOO. “Like father like son” Shiro laughed. Pidge found Peter Pan and they had a photo wherein she was wearing Peter’s hat. They found Shang and Keith forced Shiro to have a photo with him and he was dying of laughter. 

On their first night, the kids decided to sleep on their Daddies’ bed because Pidge said “It’s too big anyway! We can all fit in!” They did this for two nights. On the day they were supposed to leave…

Shiro: *looks at all their stuff* We came here with three bags. We’re leaving this place with 20 bags. *looks at Keith* WHAT HAPPENED????
Keith: Don’t look at me! I wasn’t the one who went “Oh we’ll get that for you too, Pidge.” and “We’ll get all versions. It’s a collectible. Gotta collect them all.” Oh and not to mention, “We need you three to get matching stuff! It’s gonna be cute!” *glares at Shiro*
Shiro: *gapes* You’re blaming this on me?
Keith: *does air quotes* “We don’t get to go here everyday, so get whatever you want, kids.”
Shiro: *laughs nervously* I… I… I may have done that. *deflates* But they’re so happy and I can’t just— *clutches chest*
Keith: *laughs* It’s alright. We came in prepared anyways. Cheer up, bro.
Shiro: *frowns* Stop that, bro.
Keith: *laughing so hard and is on the bed*
Hunk: *gets out of the bathroom* *sees Keith* Is Daddy Keith okay?

anonymous asked:

How about a little blurb with Harry talking to the missus? Cause honestly I feel like if anyone got in a relationship with Harry they'd be a little insecure at first. Because he's been rumored with so many people and clearly done a lot with girls (which we now know from those heaven sent Never Have I Ever games 😏). So basically how he would reassure someone.

You knew you shouldn’t have gotten on twitter.

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10

VIXX3rdANNIVERSARY

Starlight and VIXX are an eternal, breathtaking and fantastic equation that will always create wonderful memories and happiness. Here’s to 3 YEARS, and may we have so many more together to come. Thank you for being born, thank you for being VIXX.

Next-Level Plotting

Simon’s POV. Eighth year, the war is on the verge of happening. Baz’s plotting takes a surprising turn (but he obviously, definitely is plotting).

*Warning - a dead body (nobody important tho, and not described in any kind of detail).

The Wavering Wood is burning.

I can see the smoke from the window of the Mage’s office. I can almost smell it too, though that might just be my magic searing underneath my skin, searching for an outlet. I pace back to the door and press my ear against it, trying to calm my agitated breathing so I can listen out for running footsteps (or slow ones. Does the Mage run?). Still nothing. I hurry back to the window and watch the thick plumes of smoke curling towards the sky.

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Inexorable, Chapter 1

Rating: somewhere between T and not-explicit M
Word Count:
6,870 words
Prompt:
From ritasama​ - Single mother Mikasa meets Levi, a rich successful businessman.
A long author note/apology: So. Um. When I hit 100 followers a few months ago, I offered to write five fics for five people. Koi No Yokan was the first, and then I just… didn’t. For months I couldn’t wrap my head around this story, then I got bummed out about it, then I ignored it, then I realized I owed this and I had to do it. Honestly, I feel fucking terrible about it and I apologize, because I promised this and didn’t come through for a long, long time. I’m still writing, but I’ve got 3.25 out of 5 chapters written and I’ve been hammering away at it, so I’m hoping to be all done soon. I’m aiming to post a chapter every week or so, but I can’t promise I’ll stick to that schedule. That having been said, I hope you enjoy this!


There is a baby by the new secretary’s desk.

Levi Ackerman cannot remember the last time he saw a baby in person. His boss keeps showing him pictures of his ever-growing brood — an unruly-looking mob of blond children with wild bespectacled eyes — but he has thankfully managed to avoid having to encounter the brats in real life. The same cannot be said for the occupant of the playpen five feet in front of him, who is currently sucking her thumb and sleeping peacefully.

For now, Levi thinks. Soon she’ll be screaming and shitting and doing whatever else it is that babies do.

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