yes i said unicorns

The unicorn with no horn.

A long time ago, there was a unicorn.
he was different from others, however, he didn’t have a horn.
He had wings instead,
When he was at school he was called to a pegasus, much to his dread.
Every day, he would come home crying,
His mother, not knowing what was wrong, tried to teach him flying.
But the unicorn hated flying, he hated his wings, he wanted a horn.
One day the unicorn came home, looking especially forlorn.
His mother, still concerned, asked him what was wrong.
The unicorn said “I’m not a pegasus, I’ve been a unicorn all along.”
The mother, surprised at the news, asked if that’s why he’s been so upset.
The unicorn said “yes, though I try to forget.”
For a moment, there was utter silence
Before the mom said that she would support him, and protect him from violence.
The unicorn had many more struggles ahead.
But the unicorn came home, smiling instead.


Here is Joshua Joseph Balz. He plays keyboards for the metal band Motionless in White. He is honest to God one of the nicest people alive.

There’s been a ton of shit being said about Motionless right now after an interview —and later a blog post by lead vocalist Chris Cerulli— in which they basically said that the band as a whole no longer wish to put out a message explicitly to milk money from people who would fall for it. However, THEY MADE THIS DECISION A YEAR AGO, and people are only just now getting pissed about it because they saw the interview. NOTHING HAS TRULY CHANGED. I did see them live at Club Nokia a few weeks ago and they weren’t outwardly friendly, though not cold either, and I had worried than maybe they had indeed changed. I WAS WRONG! They are still amazing musicians, and I can personally vouch for at least Josh’s genuine attitude and kindness.

For Christmas my mom surprised my sister (fallinginwhite) and I with a trip to New York. On our third day we asked, and were allowed, to rent a car and the three of us drove two hours to Scranton. We wanted Sheetz. Bad. So we did, and we pigged out!! Anyway, we also wanted to go to Kingston to visit Josh and his girlfriend Ryan’s new oddities parlor, The Strange and Unusual. After our maps app misguided us three times we finally found it! I’m type one diabetic and by that time we finally found the shop my blood sugar was dropping, meaning I was shaking pretty badly, but I was drinking a Gatorade to bring it up.

We walked up and passed a couple of guys coming out of the shop and didn’t realize until later that one of them was Balz. Upon entering we were greeted by a guy we learned to be named Chris (not the singer) and we began looking around. I found a million amazing things (including a Black Craft shirt I’ve wanted for a while) and we picked up a couple. I was looking at the glass cabinet on the counter where the fetus kittens in jars were and Ryan began chatting with us about them and that two of them were part of a set of triplets though she hadn’t been able to get ahold of the third and such. I tried to set down the shirt to look better at the kittens but by this point I was shaking so badly that I knocked over an old bronze plaque with a sort of memorial/obituary on it. I apologized profusely and told her that it was just my blood sugar. She immediately offered me fruit snacks and rushed away and back to hand me them, and Chris offered me a slice of his Little Caesars pizza. I thanked them and tried to say I was okay but they insisted so I sat where Ryan lead me and began eating. Ryan asked where we were from and such and we told her that we’d come all the way from California. She said that Balz had just gone to the store and that we had to stay and meet him since we’d come all this way already.

Fast-forward: He comes in with bags and makes a joke about me eating his pizza, then saying we should hold on and he’d be right back. I finished eating and then asked Chris where I could toss my trash and he offered to take it, then Balz ended up bagging it all and taking it out (I apologized again). He came back again and though my sister had just stopped crying and I was still shaky and it was awkward he made conversation with us. We joked that we wanted to buy everything and he was like, “Take it. I want a steak dinner and a new car.” And we all laughed. We shopped more and he showed us around and pulled out his favorite old medical books to show us, also teasing that some of the images were inappropriate for my sister and I to see and we nodded jokingly and I said, “Right, yes, I look at unicorns as puppies all day.” to which he replied, “GOOD!” And then we chatted and checked out. He even went out of his way to take a picture with us and such.

My point being: ANYONE who wants to talk shit can go elsewhere. I met him and talked to him (and his girlfriend, and significant others are a good reflection of people themselves) and I swear on my life that he was exactly how I imagined him to be. He was warm and welcoming and witty and outright lovely. I’m proud to be a Motionless in White fan, now and forever.

“Well done Merlin,” Arthur drawled, “that was a very impressive display of power with absolutely no results.”

“I…I wouldn’t say no results,” Merlin stammered.


“The spell was to make her bigger.”


“Well, part of her is bigger.”

Arthur and the dragon leaned in closer.

“Oh wow!” the dragon breathed.

Jutting out from the centre of the horse’s forehead, was a very small but very distinctive horn.

“A unicorn. You’ve turned my horse into a unicorn,” said Arthur flatly.

“Yes. Yes I have done that.”