yes i love survivor

4

Ya know, I forgot how nice Gene looks in the Minutemen General uniform

spillywolf  asked:

Tbh I get kinda mad when people say that Deacon was lying about Barbara, like okay you can believe whatever you want cuz he's fictional and it shouldn't bother me so much but COME ON he's not a jerk I don't think even he would lie about something like that, all his other lies are about such unimportant things compared to that one and he acted totally different you can tell he wasn't lying I mean really //end rant

I agree with you here Spills 1000%. Lying about having a dead spouse for sympathy and/or trickery would belie Deacon as being a sociopath, which he definitely is not. I mean, he sacrifices his life and identity on a daily basis for the sake of a whole other race of people. Also, he’s quick to fess up to his lies if you have the charisma enough to catch him in one. But if you refuse his final dialogue (depending on the severity with which you do so) he is either understanding or angry with himself. There are tons of other, more articulate posts in favor of the final dialogue, so I’m not gonna drag mine out. Instead…

My personal “headcanon”or whatever, I guess “read” is more appropriate, is that Deacon didn’t lie in his final affinity dialogue(at least not completely, but I’m still in the “it’s the whole truth” camp). I think he genuinely feels like scum and that he doesn’t deserve a position in the Railroad. I believe he changes his face partly for the practicality it confers to him as a spy, partly to try and erase the man who he once was, and partly as a sort of self-inflicted punishment. I mean, that many surgeries has to take a physical toll on someone, not to mention the emotional and psychological damage that probably come along with it.

Then enters Sole stage left. Assuming you play Sole as the “brotherhood of man” type character, Deacon views them as a beacon of hope; a chance at redemption for the Commonwealth. This hope, I believe, is a big portion of his character arc. Case in point, he directly talks about Barbara in a way that makes her sound like, and I quote, “…the whole world had a chance. That one day we could climb out of this wreckage. She could do that to people.” And his description of her? “She had a smile like on those old magazine covers.

When Barbara died, Deacon lost his hope, and I’m betting he agreed to join the Railroad because without his wife he had no direction, and he figured fighting the Institute would be the closest thing to justice he could get for Barbara. 

Now here’s Sole: all old world looks and old world values. They reach out to Deacon and offer him friendship, something Deacon has been withholding from himself for a long time. Deacon thought he was strong. He thought he could effectively wall himself off from the rest of the world, and that did work for a while, but only because these post war types don’t bother making friendships with people who don’t reciprocate the gesture.

But Sole manages to bust through Deacon’s monolithic barriers. They constantly forgive him for his lies, the one thing about Deacon that most pushes people away. When Sole looks at him, they don’t see scum, or an irrevocable liar; They see a broken man and a friend. 

And maybe, just maybe, since Sole can forgive Deacon for being a liar, they can forgive him for his past, for being a real piece of filth. It’s all-consuming at first: the thought, the hope. It hurts. Ever since Barbara died, Deacon’s never been this compulsive, but he’s tired of running and hungry for closure. Maybe it’s time he grieved.

And so he let’s his guard down. He tells Sole everything and waits, cringing, for the cosmic punchline. For Sole to justifiably spit in his face and send him away. 

But they don’t.

They apologize to him. 

They apologize to him.

Deacon knows he doesn’t deserve it and refuses the hug, but inside he’s flooded with relief. Telling Sole about the Claws and Barbara, he never knew he could be so free. For the first time in years he’s consumed with the desire to run and shout and laugh and cry all at once!

Instead, he tucks the happy thought away with careful experience and contents himself with a small outward smile, hoping from this small gesture that Sole understands the true depth of his gratitude.

All that I want right now (besides Chiaki mastermind that I’m calling since july) is Sakakura smashing Munakata’s head somewhere and being a survivor… am I asking too much? sdfghjk

u wanna know what i fucking love about brie larson? when she had to give that disgusting piece of shit casey affleck his golden globe, she literally didnt even pretend to smile or seem pleased for the cameras that he won.

and when he came up on stage, she just handed him the award, and didnt even bother to shake his hand or congratulate him or anything. brie just wanted to get the fuck away from him. 

and her face the entire time he was making a speech. she was just ready for him to shut the fuck up so she can leave.

anonymous asked:

I think Jamie is definitely a flawed character but I still love him. What's your overall take on him as a character throughout the series? :)

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. As someone who fell in love with the show first, and primarily with Claire, and thus Jamie as an extension of her story, I have a tendency to over-romanticise him as a straight-forward hero. I think the show definitely interprets him in a softer, more overtly gallant way. Sam’s Jamie is a literal King Of Men: honest, good, and brave, almost to a fault. I think they did an amazing job with Jamie’s emotional struggles after Wentworth, but in general the show doesn’t give him a lot of the conflicting moral shades you see in the book. Jamie’s violent proclivities are usually framed as unquestionably noble, and his more problematic actions, such as beating Claire in season 1 (and I anticipate with Geneva in season 3), as scenes that are to be taken lightly or with humour. Maybe that is how you are supposed to read those scenes in the books too, but I have a difficult time with that.

There is definitely a dark undercurrent and slightly disturbing edge to book Jamie that I found jarring when I first read them. Yes, he is heroic, kind and loveable on the page too, but he often does and says things I find VERY uncomfortable as a reader, and I genuinely find him frightening sometimes. His sheer physicality; his towering height, his strength; and his single-mindedness once he decides upon a course of action. He is a machine of war, honed on the battlefield, and he can become an unstoppable force of wrath and bloody-minded vengeance at the flick of a switch … it bothers me a bit that Claire isn’t more disturbed by that. My absolute favourite part of Written In My Own Heart’s Blood is when she confronts him about it, and he is emotionally flawed by the doubt it casts upon his whole sense of self. It is beautiful and heartbreaking.

“I am not a state at war, and you are not my army!”
He began to speak, then stopped short, searching my face, his eyes intent. “Am I not?” he said quietly.

I’m obviously deeply invested in his all-consuming relationship with Claire, but even that is a little terrifying. Their love is SO INTENSE that it sometimes feels like it is veering towards chaos. I think he would probably murder the whole world to protect her, and that’s not healthy … but damn if it isn’t compelling. At the same time, the poor guy has been through A LOT of traumatic, violent, nasty stuff, and many of his flaws are a direct result of the truly twisted sides of humanity he has had to endure. So yes, I love him for being a brave warrior and survivor who is fiercely protective of his family and capable of deep kindness and passion despite the horrors he has been through, and for loving Claire so deeply and desperately. But he is also a damaged, blood-thirsty, co-dependent dude, born in a dark, brutal time in history, and I find him fascinating and compelling for all those reasons too. :) 

Okay okay, no, here’s a better consideration for what happens in Nuka World w/ Sole Survivor Jessie: 

I’ve honestly done little to nothing with Deacon, and I think I want to bring him along for the ride this time, only because she’d also try to bring him out for some adventures upon realizing he’s been stuck at HQ and Castle for so long without much action, with Jessie tending to far harbor and all. She gladly takes a chance for a larger adventure with the man, only to quickly realize the hell she may have just put them both into. 

The thing about Jessie is that she’s a very trusting person. If someone says something, she’s going to take it as it is unless it’s a beyond obvious lie. It’s a reason why she and Deacon weren’t all that close to begin with; He lies on compulsively, almost nonstop, and it’s very hard to be able to connect with him because of that. but she still cares about him and is well being, just as much as she cares about any one of her companions. 

It’s why she hasn’t read Deacon’s recall code, and refuses to. she may trust most others, but there are times where she’s not even willing to trust herself. 

She doesn’t know. 

So imagine the both of them in The Gauntlet, scared, angry, and beyond exhausted, when Deacon completely snaps at Jessie, who’s made yet another offshoot comment about his status as a synth. 

“I’m NOT A FUCKING SYNTH!” his shout rings out over the gloom and constant hum of turrets and gunfire. It brings an eerie silence with it. 

“Wh… What?” 

“I’m not a synth, and I can’t believe its taken you this goddamn long to realize it!” He hates it, and he’s sick of it. The hurt look in her eyes is already making him feel worse, but the words just keep coming. “What fucking reason did you have to believe me? to believe anyone?!” 

What reason do you have to lie to me?!” 

“To pull the wool out from under your eyes and out of your thick skull! but no, I couldn’t do that, and now it’s your gullibility that got us into this!” 

“You think this is my fault? You’re the one who said we should follow the broadcast!” 

It probably only gets worse from there, maybe until their argument is interrupted by a voice from the loudspeakers. But that doesn’t mean that the rest of their fighting through The Gauntlet is eerily quiet between them. 

anonymous asked:

Buffy the vampire slayer is so iconic



Originally posted by st0rmclouds

Yes!  I love her for being a depressed, suicidal abuse survivor who is the sole provider for her younger sibling, working minimum wage in fast food, and still somehow finding the will to keep trying to fight for what’s right. Even with all the show’s problems, that element always feels encouraging to me. 

anonymous asked:

Okay but consider: Deacon fakes his own death and tries to stay on the outskirts of the commonwealth and access how much of the Railroad is left. He happens to run into SS who doesn't recognize him ofc. His only friend doesn't know him. (^:

How did the RR fall apart?

Are you asking me to consider him trying to piece the Railroad back together after his best, and probably only, friend betrayed him and the cause he dedicated his life to? 

Are you asking me to consider the crushing guilt he carries over the fact he guided and trusted the Survivor, only to have them show up from the Institute or the Brotherhood to slaughter every person in HQ? The people he’s known for years, people he’s bled for, people he’s counted on. People who counted on him to keep them safe. 

He trusted his instincts about the Survivor. He watched and saw what they accomplished, and he judged them good and kind, sharp and discerning. They listened to his tales, they learned his lessons. He let them close, both to him and the only other thing he cared about: the Railroad.

Are you asking me to think about him trying to get people out during the assault, but the Survivor knowing all of the ins and outs of HQ and the hail of laserfire waits for the group around every corner? Each person in his group falling one by one. Leaving behind the dead in an effort to save the living. He makes his way to the street level with no one with him but ghosts. Drummer Boy was the last, the youngest, and he died clinging to the ladder Deacon climbed to the surface.

Just like the first HQ that fell in 2266, he is the only survivor. He lays low for weeks, only to sneak back into what remains of the church basement. The bodies are gone, the rubble remains. He mourns by himself, tears rolling down new cheeks, wiped away by new hands, falling onto new knees.

He walks away from this disaster a different man than in 2266, with a different face and name. He will rebuild, just like he did then, but he will also repay.

Because yes, I will consider Deacon succumbing to his anger and hurt and darkness, and using his skill at infiltration to get as close to the Survivor as possible, with his new face and name, knowing all of the Survivor’s weaknesses, waiting and working to get them into the perfect scenario for his vengeance. I will consider his best and only friend not recognizing him, and Deacon exploiting that.

As he approaches the Survivor in the hallway on that fated day, he’s not sure if it’s the sunglasses he wears, something he hasn’t worn in their presence since this charade began, or the knife in his hand that wipes the smile off of the Survivor’s face, but he doesn’t much care. 

“Do you have a geiger counter?” he asks as he slips the knife across their throat.

Deacon watches the flash of recognition in their eyes, while the Survivor watches their own lifeblood run hot and scarlet down their chest in the mirrored lenses of his sunglasses.

long journey home: a fallout 4 zine (hopefully)

okay, guys. i have a thing to pitch that’s been sort of on the backburner for a while, but i (and the lovely Q) figure it’s time to finally ask around and start gauging interest. so, indulge me very briefly?

here’s the bottom line: fallout 4 gets a lot of shit. it’s boring or it’s predictable or too short or too long, the story is too linear or the workshop is frustrating, it’s not as good as new vegas for any of like three hundred reasons. and don’t get me wrong, there are some perfectly valid critiques of the game (& fandom, yes, we know) that i’m not in the market to discount, but… 

guys, i love this game. and - listen, i don’t care if all they can say is “yes” in a number of meaningless ways, i love the sole survivor. and i love so many interpretations of them that i’ve seen across fandom! there is so much love and effort being poured into this character - these characters, really - that so often goes unnoticed or simply buried under other content. so, i figure, what better way to generate a little positivity than to collaborate, and create some ourselves? and even, maybe, ending up in something that folks can look at and hold in their hands. :D

so that’s where this thing comes in. (please forgive the quickie wip banner, i promise if this ends up being our title i’ll think of somethin’ nicer.) but my goal with this potential zine is to showcase sole survivors and their stories - pre-war, post-war, railroad heavies and institute heirs, atom cats and comic book heroes, mothers or fathers or none of the above, whoever they are and whoever they’ve turned out to be! 0: as our idea stands it will be limited to art pieces, and the only rule will be no canon characters allowed, with the exception of dogmeat.

on that note: i realize there are sole survivors whose stories become intertwined with a faction’s people or a love interest - trust me, one of my own does the same! - but i really want to focus on the character themselves, and avoid ANY kind of sense of competition or pettiness - this zine would be about promoting positivity, showing off a lot of interesting character interpretations, and generating a conversation about original characters on their own. while we all adore the canon characters too, this just wouldn’t be the place for them. (dogmeat is the exception here because he is perfect and transcends rules, should you choose to include him.)

i’m sorry to have gone on for so long! x__x this post is really just to gauge interest anyway, so - y’all! if you want to signal boost this that’d be great, and feel free to let me know in your tags or via message or im what your thoughts are? :D if the response is positive enough i’d be more than happy to organize this project with Q and get it rolling. thank you!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

anonymous asked:

I don't understand why people love Joker or Harley Quinn if they are clearly dangerous killers like... Jason Todd kills bad guys. Joker kills for fun, even kids. That's not the same thing. AJ, can you explain this?

I agree, nonnie; Im constantly baffled by folks who think Joker is amazing and misunderstood, or take his side… I honestly cant explain it; it’s unfathomable to me how anyone can see good in him. It makes me uncomfortable seeing people support/defend him because a majority of them also romanticize abusive ships or abuse within ships, as well as displaying abusive tactics themselves…

I’ve heard some people say they like the Joker solely because he’s a good character, with depth and interesting dynamics, but even from a writer’s standpoint I still find that difficult to fully understand…

Regarding Harley though, I can understand the love for her a little more than for the Joker; for me personally, it’s solely her journey from an abuse victim to freeing herself from the Joker, finding a healthier romantic relationship when compared to Joker (Poison Ivy)… But when it comes to her violence and killings, I do not condone, support, or excuse it. She is a bad person for those actions that she’s done; is she, however, an inspirational character for abuse survivors like me? Yes, and I can understand the love for her based on this aspect of her character :/

Im also going to talk briefly about the love for Jason, because sometimes I think he’s a softer or better version of Harley, that is the reasonings for his fanbase is similar; beyond his background of being poor and a victim of circumstances, plus talking of the symptoms he shows for various mental illnesses, all of which is something I think a lot of us can relate with, he is also an abuse survivor (his parents, the Joker) and I know his love is well documented but I think this is important to talk about when comparing these 3 characters…

So, Im not a lot of help but that’s my thought on the whole Joker, Harley, Jason stuff :)

sierra returning confirms that whoever gets the ciera elimination music is destined to come back…..that means kimmi and alecia WILL be back some day…