A post about the show 13 reasons why and why I don’t like Hannah Baker.
By the end of the first episode I really didn’t like Hannah. This didn’t change, not even when I felt emphaty. I’m really sorry if I’m one of the bad guys, I’m really sorry if I end up offending someone. But, remember, I’m a flawed person too. A person who needs to write her thoughts now.
The tapes: for me, revenge. As I see it, the tapes were Hannah’s way to get revenge on everyone who hurt her. They were not about explaining, making people understand, showing how people change. No, they were about payback and haunting. And if you want to tell me otherwise, I’m all ears. People told me she wanted to leave an explanation. She didn’t. Because the ones who deserved the explanation more than anyone were her parents, yes, the ones who were broken in a million pieces after her death. In fact, I cannot forgive Hannah Baker for killing part of her parents when she died in that bathtub.
Justin: we learn how Justin started everything, everything that lead her to her death. Yeah. But we also see how messed up his life was. The reason for him to act like an idiot. I grew fond of Justin. I understood him in some ways. I cannot defend him, I cannot say it was OK, none of it was. He did terrible things but in the end… He was so troubled I don’t think he could distinguish between right and wrong at any point. I feel weird cause, after all he did to Hannah and Jess, I have the strange emphaty towards him. Maybe I’m like him in some way, maybe I’m the kind who allows things to happen.
Jess: Jess was wrecked by the tapes. She went through hell. And maybe she wasn’t a good friend. But neither was Hannah. Telling everyone how Jess got raped and couldn’t even remember it was not fair at all. Saying Jess destroyed the friendship by herself was low. And I’ll defend Jess, yeah, cause no one did, cause Hannah pointed her finger but, apparently, she didn’t fight too hard to keep the friendship. Also, friends come and go, I’m sorry to say. And you cannot, ever, blame someone for your suicide because this person grew apart and couldn’t be a real friend to you for too long.
Zach: shit with Zach was weird, I’m gonna defend him too. He had things of his own, and he really liked her, apparently, she didn’t give him a chance. And he wasn’t mean to her cause he “didn’t get what he wanted”, he was mean in response to her being an asshole, too. So, Hannah can be hurt and be an idiot, but if the others do the same, they are monsters?
Marcus: total asshole. Tipical teenager. He didn’t care much. But he didn’t deserve to be tormented either.
Sheri: wtf? She did one thing wrong and this is proof the world is fucked up and a reason to kill yourself? The girl was nothing but kind and was ate by guilt before and after the tapes, did she deserve to be haunted like this? I don’t think so.
Courtney: one more that was judged because she wasn’t a real friend and didn’t want to be so, either. Can you blame her? No. She wasn’t true to herself? Maybe. Who am I to judge? Who was Hannah? Courtney was an idiot but she didn’t deserve to be exposed.
Ryan: another idiot, yes. Bad behaviour, selfish and all. Does he deserve to live his life thinking he was a reason for someone to commit suicide? I don’t think so. He deserved to pay for his actions, he deserved to know he acted wrong. But in the end he was just an idiot who didn’t try to destroy her in any way.
Tyler: the one who really needed some therapy. He was always bullyed and laughed at, even by Hannah. He had some real problems and carrying responsibility for her suicide would lead to some things that are much bigger than what was already shown. So, this is just an example of the consequences of the tapes.
Bryce: didn’t get to listen to the tapes. We never learn why Bryce was like he was. We never see him being punished and Hannah punishes everyone but him. So Clay has to do it for her. She wanted someone to fight for her and that I understand, mainly because I cannot imagine how she felt. Do I blame Bryce? For many things, yes. For her suicide? No. Because she doesn’t put all the blame in him. He’s not the last drop so at some point she thought she could handle things in a different way, she didn’t.
Mr Porter: he was not more than a counselor, and he cannot carry responsibility for her suicide. Was he good as a counselor? Probably not. Was he useful? Not at all. Everyone is fighting their own battles day after day, he was too, and that’s why he wasn’t there for her. How could he know? Can he be guilty because he gave a crappy advice and didn’t go after her like she wanted? I don’t think so. She left. That’s on her.
Clay: she put Clay through hell, for what? FOR WHAT? he felt like crap, he felt guilty, he faced some shit he clearly didn’t deserve to. So, why? Listening to the tapes was pure torture to Clay. She affected him for good and that doesn’t seem fair at all. She put him in danger, a danger he didn’t deserve. Torturing Clay was low, and I cannot accept it, I cannot like Hannah Baker when I know she was totally aware of how bad the tapes would hit Clay.
Alex: the ultimate consequence… The list was a childish stupid shit to do, yes. Going to the boy’s locker room was too. Why did she do that? She wasn’t allowed there and it was obvious they would talk even more after that. Blaming him for destroying Hannah and Jesse’s friendship? Unfair and stupid. Alex was a thunderstorm, he had so much going on inside his head, he couldn’t even handle Hannah’s thunder, or anything else, to be honest. I would have liked to learn more about him… After all, Hannah’s suicide lead to his. So, are we to blame Hannah the way she blamed him? Alex couldn’t handle the pressure, the guilt and he gives all the signs, he silently walks to his death and noone sees it, no one cares. So what good did the tapes do? They didn’t prevent anything, on the contrary, they lead to destruction and more and more pain. Hannah wanted to be a ghost seeking revenge and she got it.
The parents: the ones who are fucked up without doing anything, without stupid tapes to explain shit. The main reason why I can’t stand Hannah is the fact that, when she killed herself, she was gone, the pain was gone, and exactly at this moment her parent’s worst nightmare began. She didn’t think of them. She didn’t leave a note for them. She dedicated her last week to torment all the kids at school but not a word for her parents. Her mother’s desperation crushed me. She killed herself but she broke them, in a million pieces, never to be put together again. Can you tell me that’s not selfish? Not even a little? I just cannot forgive something like that, because finding your kid dead in the tub is pretty much the worst thing a parent can face.
Edit: if you don’t agree and GET MAD at me, please don’t reply. If you agree or don’t and want to reply with your own non-aggressive opinion, please reply.
Edit 2: in case you didn’t understand, I don’t judge the reasons for which she killed herself, I don’t dislike her because of that. I just don’t like the tapes themselves and the apparent reasons for which she left them.
Requests: could you do an imagine where the reader is in a beauty and the beast kind of situation and he won’t let them go until they heard that her family was in danger (cause of the Resistance) and he gives her the choice to leave, but they don’t really want to leave? thanks, i love your writing! + I don’t know how to do requests, but I feel like it’d be cool to have a sort of beauty & the beast au if that isn’t too cliche lol???? + Hey so I had this idea after watching the new Beauty & the Beast movie the other day. Ben is cursed by witch lady or Snoke or something and becomes Kylo Ren, essentially UNTIL reader shows up and he goes back to the Light side. Idk. I might sound stupid…
A/N: First things first, this took me like two weeks to do bc I had others to write and this was really long. Second of all, it follows both the animated and live action versions; the characters don’t turn into things, rather, force ghosts (you’ll see), also this is based on Alderaan and you can easily tell which character is who. Anyway, thank you for the requests to those anons! Enjoy!
Warning: Mention of death
Word Count: 10K+ (oops)
The castle that sat atop of a snow covered mountain in the planet of Alderaan was long forgotten–and unheard of. No one dared to enter the land of the cold, seeing as no one was truly aware of its existence with their lack of need to travel the mountains. But, the castle was not abandoned nor was it vacant. Inside lived many souls that had been cursed, one in particular being the most brooding of them all.
What it is like being a studying poc with anxiety to the highest capacity and how I deal with it.
The first thing I have to tell you is that - your family may not understand and that is okay. Do not blame them for not understanding what anxiety is, the environment you grew up in and the environment they grew up in are completely different, also we have different pressures that we are facing. For example, my father and his entire family were fleeing a genocide - and the last thing on their mind was mental health and personal care. However, as a first generation living in the United Kingdom - mental health is the most important thing to me and being students, I know we put a world’s worth of pressure on succeeding and doing well. This may not always be good for us (unless you work well under pressure, do you).
Let me just talk a bit about my anxiety here. It is mostly situational anxiety - for example when it comes to exams or public speaking (my role on the school head girl team meant I had to just literally speak publicly every other day - I will make a separate post about this and how I overcame that fear) exam season and revision.
These tips won’t make anxiety go away completely, but studying with anxiety can be made easier - yes, I know it sounds insane, but it has really worked for me.
1. Make your desk a safe space.
Make your desk as soothing for your anxiety as possible. This may include having some plants around, decorating your desk with a particular theme - make it work for you! Let the theme be relaxing, have pictures of the ocean! Let it completely sooth you when you sit down to study. I personally have my desk next to a window so I can get fresh air when I need it. That is another thing… Let yourself breath - do not make your desk too cluttered, have it super minimalist, the less you feel claustrophobic the better.
2. Try and get into a routine.
This is does not always work for me because I work in bursts - but it has worked for many of my friends. When you have a routine, you won’t feel blindsided when you have to study - for example, I get super anxious when I can feel the amount of work I need to do. But if you have a routine, you know that you are studying at this specific time and nothing is being thrown in your direction - you can plan for it therefore remain completely in control.
3. Avoid caffeine - seriously.
I know that coffee looks super cute for the aesthetic tumblr photos but - avoid it at all costs! Caffeine is a psychoactive drug. Lets call it what it is and it is mega terrible for your anxiety. It will cause and/or exacerbate your anxiety symptoms. I can not stress this enough, stay away from caffeine.
4. Take your medications - if you have been subscribed them!
I am not ashamed to tell the world, loud and clear - I am on Propranolol for when my anxiety becomes uncontrollable (lets start publicly making it ok and safe for people to take medications without any stigma please, thanks). Yes, it is a super strong tablet. For those who do not know, its a beta blocker and it stops you from physically having a panic attack by keeping your heart at a consistent rhythm or beat I don’t know the correct terminology (medblrs come through) - do not be ashamed, be proud that you are taking the necessary steps to gain control again.
5. Take regular walks and control your breaking.
I walk to the breaths I take - a bit like walking to a beat, but its more relaxing. With anxiety, breaking is the key to mastering it. Master your breathing! I’ve noticed that being deeply connected to my breathing means I sense any tension in my body and sensing tension is the first step to identifying if you are feeling anxious or if you feel a panic attack coming on.
6. Keep a close eye on your stimuli! (Yes, I did just rhyme)
What is making you anxious? Do you have triggers? If you do - learn to minimise contact with them. Be it a person, a place, an object. You do not need to stay in environments that make you feel uncomfortable (unless you are forced to stay - for example dealing with anxiety in class, I’ll make a another post about how to deal with that) I had a friend who used to make me super anxious and I don’t spend that much time with her anymore simply because she wasn’t good for my mental health. Which brings me to my next point - people can be triggers to your anxiety and staying away from them is OK.
I don’t know if this is helpful but if even one person benefits from this - putting myself out there and owning my anxiety disorder is so worth it. Suffering from anxiety is hard, it is really hard and I just want to say - to all those who suffer from anxiety, you are going to be ok. Whatever coping technique you have or however you deal with it, I am proud of you and you are doing great.
My message box and ask is open to you. Sometimes talking to another sufferer is easier - I understand and I’ve got you, message me, rant to me! It is better out than in.
This is my first - really official post on tumblr and I want to know if this was helpful, please give me feedback. I want to learn how I can help and get the message out there more effectively.
And because it is my first post - I’m going to tag some of my favourite blogs (not the most subtle introduction haha, but super important).
This is my favorite lift of the season and it was unfortunately marked level 3, so they might change it.
What I love about it is how much it actually makes sense for the program. I love how she falls backwards into his arms like a trust fall, how he catches her before she can drop, and then cradles her close.
It’s like, yes three positions, but they tell a story about their growing relationship, about two kids who grew up skating together and then took the plunge to make more of this ice dancing thing than they originally thought they would do and move overseas. The idea of building a home together on the ice, facing adversity from their fed, from injurty, etc and learning to rely primarily on each other.
It’s a beautiful program and they way they skated today was so heartfelt. The program furthermore makes sense to me.
AN: I hope that everyone is doing okay, especially considering that many of you have returned to your classes recently. I’m sorry about the strange and slow posting, I myself have just returned to school and my stress level is through the roof at the moment. However, because I have a long weekend right now, I’m finding some time to relax and write :) Thank you anon who requested! *I do not own the gif, found on google. Please ignore any spelling errors! Xoxoxoxoxoxo :3
Pairing: Pietro (AoU) X Reader
Prompt: Could you do an imagine with Pietro x reader where the reader meets him in a coffee shop while accidentally revealing her powers to everyone.
So this is Greg, better known as Onision. Many people hate him. I, when I first saw him three years ago, did as well. But I decided to watch him again about four months ago, and can I just say this; I love Greg. When I started watching him again, I was not doing good. I was not eating, considering killing myself, all this stuff right. Well he gave me the harsh slap in the face (not literally) that I needed. He made me realize that I don’t have it so bad. He made me realize that I should be grateful for what I have, because many people have it a lot worse. People don’t like him because he expresses his opinion. I love him because he does that. Just because you don’t agree with an opinion doesn’t give you the right to hate on the person whose opinion it is. I don’t agree with all of his opinions, but I’m a decent human being who knows how to accept that other people think differently from me. If you hate on him for hating something you like, than you’re being a hypocrite. I grew up and realized that it’s ok for other people to support things that I don’t. I grew up and learned to take a joke. Yes, he will sometimes make jokes about sensitive topics. But if you get upset by that, then just don’t watch it! It’s that simple! It’s his channel and he can do and say what he wants. That’s all I’m gunna say for now. Greg, if you’re reading this, just know that I love you and that I’ll always support you
I recently hit 3,000+ followers!! Thank you everyone who have been following me whether it’s recent, or for a long while. My blog has become mostly BTS-based, however I still post a lot of other random things too, from my countless spazzing, long essays about fandom topics, theories, to random vines, memes, and personal posts. I’m thankful that you still put up with it all~
I figured it’s about time to do my first Follow Forever… so here’s some amazing blogs you might come to love as much as I do~ ;)