yes i know its not hot to you americans

Man Vs Child:  One Dad’s Guide to the Weirdness of Parenting

About the Book

Moms have hundreds of parenting advice books willing to tackle the more cringe-inducing questions of parenthood. But what about books for the other half of the equation: the dads?

Man Vs. Child is a funny, fresh take on the parenting guide, written from the dad’s perspective.  More info here.


Buy the Book

The book is out in stores now or you can order here:

Amazon
Abrams
Barnes and Noble
Books-a-Million
Indiebound
Indigo
Powell’s


Praise

“Doug Moe has written a delightful and helpful book that gives real advice about the Wild West world of raising children.”  Amy Poehleractress, comedian, and New York Times bestselling author of Yes Please

“Thankfully for new fathers like me, Doug Moe knows it all, from little kids doing pee-pee to big kids doing homework. It’s essential reading for dads and future dads.”Michael Showalter, writer/director and cocreator of Wet Hot American Summer

“Doug Moe is the second-best father I know. Even if the only thing you get from this book is a good time, then Doug has done more for fathers than any other book of its kind.”Rob Corddry, actor and comedian, The Daily Show and Ballers

“I am about to have a baby and I am terrified and feel like an idiot! Then I read Doug Moe’s Man vs. Child! Now, I am prepared to have a baby. I am slightly less terrified and I am still an idiot! Thanks, Doug!” Bobby Moynihan, actor and comedian, Saturday Night Live

“Hurry up and buy this book! I didn’t get a chance before my baby came and now I’m screwed! Help! I haven’t slept in weeks and now I don’t know what I’m doing! Dammit, Doug, why didn’t you write this while I still had time to read books??” Rob Huebel, actor and comedian, Human Giant and Transparent

“Man vs. Child is a hilariously honest look at parenting that even moms can appreciate. I mean, any book that encourages new dads to ‘vacuum and be nice’ is one I can get behind!”Ilana Wiles, blogger and author of The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting

“A taut, erotic thriller. This is a smart, dark look at  the human condition, our strengths and our weaknesses.  Doug Moe has done it again.  I did not read this book.”- Jason Mantzoukas, actor and comedian, The League

“Doug Moe is hilarious. I’d read anything he wrote, including this book, which I read and loved. Doug’s writing is funny and irreverent, which could lead one to think he’s a bad dad, and quite honestly, I thought that for years. “That Doug Moe, he’s one tantrum away from ‘going out for a pack of cigarettes’ and never coming back,” we used to think and not say. But then his wife seemed to be sticking around, and she seems chill, so you gotta think he’s probably OK. Shady dude, though.“- Jon Daly, actor and comedian, Kroll Show

“…a tongue-in-cheek guide for new fathers with awkward questions, including—but not limited to—“Is It Okay to Bring My Baby to a Bar?” The short answer is no, but there are plenty of long answers as well: Moe writes from experience, and casts an empathetic eye on the shifting representations of modern fatherhood. “Old Dads,” Moe claims, could father from a distance, while the “New Dads” of today are rightfully expected to share playtime duties. He goes on to describe the awed affection new fathers may have for their children with relatable humor and genuine insight, offering a promising resource for the curious and the clueless.” - The New Yorker


Media

Feel free to email me here if you want to talk.  For media and publicity inquiries and interview requests, please contact Jennifer Bastien at jbastien@abramsbooks.com.

Download the press release

anonymous asked:

can u do a Jimmy head canon for when the reader rides him for the first time and she's a bit insecure lmao that's so weird I know sorry

I’m not good at this but i’ll try

- he’d wanna try it

- so you would
- being really uncomfortable at first

- “am i on you right?””god yes oh god please move”

- putting hands on his chest

- moving slowly

- him whimpering a lot

- its hot

- he’d totally touch your boobs

- dirty talking

- “babygirl…i-*shouts*”

- he’s totally sub

- gipping your hips

- asking if you were good

- him not being able to answer

- bc he’s panting to hard

Tag 🌹

Rules: always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, write 11 questions of your own and tag 11 people

Thanks my little American for tagging me @autumn03  💕

What is your favorite season and why: Autumn because its not to hot and i like pumpkin spice lattes 🙃😏

Who do you get along with more ….. mom or dad: Ummmm… depends but Mum.

Are you in a relationship atm: Yes

Have you ever wanted to start over: All the time 

Day or Night: Night

Autumn leaves or Rain: Rain

Birthday: 20th September 

Star Sign: Virgo

Why did you decide to make a Tumblr blog: Wanted to be able to post what i really feel without people i knowing judging

Favorite Song: Ghost or Mrs.Potatohead 

Are you emotionally good atm: No

My 11 Questions:

Have you ever been in love or in love atm?

Are you happy with your life?

Do you think you’re a basic bitch?

Hogwarts house?

Coffee or tea?

Baking or cooking?

Favourite Tumblr blog?

One fictional character that you love but most people hate?

One fictional character you will defend to the death?

Favourite genre of film?

One thing you love about yourself?


Hope you haven’t been tagged 💕

@bluassassin @fck-tamlin @highladyofdreamcourt @highladystarfall @dramione-daily @feyxsand @feyredarling @rhyswingspan @rhysand-vs-rowan @cassianandfenrysaremyboyos @lronteeth

a belated 20 question tag game

Thanks @psyduckstudies @bluefoxstudies and @studygreys for tagging me in this!

Rules: Answer 20 questions then tag the 20 blogs you’d like to know better.

Name: Claudia
Nickname: Cla, Clau, Claudine
Zodiac: Scorpio
Height: 5′4ft
Nationality: American and Romanian
Favorite Fruit: do tomatoes count
Favorite Season: despite all its sins, Summer 
Favorite Flowers: Anemones
Favorite Scent: cologne
Favorite color: red
Favorite Animal: dogs+ literally any kind of baby animal
Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea!!
Average Hours of Sleep: 7-8
Favorite Fictional Character: light yagami yes i know but shhh
Number of blankets I sleep with: 2
Dream Trip: Japan tbh
Blog Birthday: May 24, 2017
Favorite Artists/Bands: Lana del Rey, Olafur Arnalds, daoko, ichiko aoba, adele, coldplay… the list goes on, really. I listen to a lot of jazz and indie that borders on vaporwave tbh
Self Goal: …stop procrastinating

I tag @designstudy @glotpoly @intelliqents @medkip @rivkahstudies @noodledesk @unefilledepapier @aalbicocca @pinestudies @teacuckoo @bliss-studies @studyzer0 @young-studyblr …..and literally anyone else who wants to do this haha!

newsies. 4th of july. kath has a 4th of july party.

Crutchie loses track of how many hot dogs he ate after number 17.

Race doesn’t get the memo to wear something patriotic and shows up in his pride bro-tank.

Jack spends all his time re-working American history, such as telling gullible children how Abraham Lincoln led peace negotiations between aliens and humans during the great Persian wars of 1919 while riding a polar bear.

Davey plays with sparklers for the first time (thanks to an hour of convincing from Kath. “Yes Davey, It’s safe. You can hand it to me if you get too scared.”)

Getting to “Noh” Cosplay, and how it helps society at large.

So, time for a few POSITIVE words about cosplay:

A Fireman, a Gynecologist, A movie Star, and a Schizophrenic all walk into a bar.  Bartender says “What’ll it be?” and each one in turn orders a drink… they all sit down at a table, and have a lovely evening…….

Oh… wait… that wasn’t funny… I was supposed to open with something funny.  What would make that funny? ah, yes, it would be the conflict you would expect from this group of very different people meeting together.  

But what would make these people from very different walks of life come together?  What could transcend age, race, gender, social class, education, occupation, in order to bring all these starkly different individuals together to share a few drinks, and a few laughs? Is is some kind of Illuminati-style-secret-society?  Some 1980’s “Cannonball Run” movie plot? No!  Its Cosplay!

Cosplay?  What’s cosplay?  Isn’t  that some kind of weird fetish?  “Oh kids these days!” … Well, you may know someone who is a cosplayer…that unassumingly normal person standing in front of you on line at 711 might be a cosplayer, and you would never even know it!  

Cosplay is a portmanteau for costume-play, and it is a growing subculture.  It can be defined, quite simply, as putting on a costume in an effort to embody that specific character. Some define Cosplay as a subculture that began in Japan, with the popularity of Manga and Anime, and made it over to the US at the turn of the century. Now, you may be thinking: “ We have a name for that: Halloween.  We have one day, set aside, for all this childish nonsense.  I don’t need to see batman buying milk at the gas station on a random Thursday night.”

However, I beg to differ.  Cosplay is not new.  It is something that has been a part of every culture, in every corner of the globe, since the time of the caveman.  Without it, there would be Anarchy. Anarchy?!  Surely I must be joking! What does a caveman have to do with this green woman standing before you?  Furthermore, how could my cousin dressing up like Harry Potter and embarrassing the whole family possibly keep anarchy at bay?

When you think of a caveman… you can envision them sitting around the fire, putting skulls of animals on their heads and reenacting the hunt.  Tribesmen of  Native Americans created elaborate costumes and danced out the stories of their Gods.  The Ancient Greeks defined what we know as modern theater, building amphitheaters where people could gather and experience the stories that were acted out before them.  In Japan, Noh theater, with its elaborate masks and costumes was born out of the Buddhist concept of Noh, which translates to: the connection of the audience with the actor.  Then we had Shakespeare…and oh, a few hundred years of live theater where people would come together as groups, and become enthralled with the story as the experienced the emotions, the drama, the fantasy…right along with the actors before them. … But then, something changed.

Movies came along… and then television…eventually, the internet.  And although sometimes we still gathered as an audience to witness these stories…they were now on a screen, and not in our physical presence.  With the advent of special effects and CGI the visuals became more dazzling and “realistic”.  To top it all off, reality TV became a staple.  Now anyone can be a star!!!  You do not need any training, talent, or even human decency to be famous!!!

But that Japanese Buddhist concept of “Noh”, of the connection between the audience and the actor…. was lost.

That little spark of magic, that “Noh”  is so important to me!  I remember my first Trick or Treating. I was about 3 years old.  My mom painted a clown face on me with greasepaint…which I promptly smeared all around!  When we finally got outside, my mom kept having to chase after me, because every time I saw another child in costume I’d yell “It’s Batman!!!”  "Theres Spiderman!!!“ "Oh mom look!!! a real Vampire!!!” I don’t remember one other little detail about being 3 years old, but that feeling has stayed with me for the rest of my life. It is that magic that I still feel when I see one of my favorite characters in the flesh at a convention.  

If you haven’t had that experience, I would say that it is similar to the feeling you get when your favorite song unexpectedly is playing on a radio, and all of the lyrics seem to eerily synchronize with the events that are going on at that very moment of your life. Or the thrill of your underdog sports team gaining a seemingly impossibly victory!  But we all know that it is a very different experience in between watching your favorite sports team playing on TV, and going to watch the game in person, maybe even getting the chance to snap a picture with your favorite player?

Cosplay is actually a lot like sports, just for a different set of individuals.  Just like in sports, there are players, and there is an audience.  The players spend time and dedication honing their skills in practice, so when the big day comes, everything is on point, ready for the game- which is much like a performance. The audience cheers, boos, and is engaged mentally and emotionally with the players… here again is that Japanese concept of “Noh” !  

Just like in sports, there are levels to cosplay.  Some people just like to get together with friends and shoot some hoops. Others spend every waking moment of their lives trying to make it to the top.  

So we can see that cosplay is something that engages people socially; in a time when few of us can be bothered too look up from our phones and experience the world around us. Cosplay forces us to look, to pay attention to what is happening in this very moment.  To have an experience, however brief, with another real, live, person.   My failed joke at the beginning of this talk was actually loosely based on real life experience (and now you are wondering  "Is she the Gynecologist or the schizophrenic?“…and I’ll just let you keep wondering about that!!) But the moral of the story is that through cosplay I have had the ability to connect with oodles of people I would have never interacted with based on my lifestyle, my skin color, my education…and <mumbles> my credit score.  

In fact, one of my favorite things about cosplay is how it transcends race. (Yes, I just hit the hot button issue!!!) I can remember going to the buffet after a convention with some friends, no time to shower, so I am still the green woman you see before you.  There was a family of many people having a LOUD debate about what my true skin color was under the paint.  For some people, its the first thing that they ask me..because…when you are green, its actually difficult to discern it otherwise. People think I’m Indian, South American, all kinds of lovely exotic things.  But more often, people say to me, "you know, its so strange to see you without bodypaint!  I guess I always just assumed green was you natural skin color!” Its these people, these individuals, that give me hope for the future of humanity.  

I am a geek, a nerd, whatever you want to call it…I grew up with my nose in a book, Avoiding gross human contact at all costs! This caused me to be a socially awkward individual.  I didn’t really know how to relate to my peers who I  had nothing in common with, so I just pushed people away. I’m sure all of us, at some point have felt this way.  Now, attending a crowded convention hall full of people is the direct opposite of what you would assume socially awkward person would want to do. Yet we come in droves! We travel for days and spend exorbitant amounts of money just to be there.  One of the reasons for this is that cosplay is empowering!…. Billy might get bullied at school… but he can put on a Thor costume and be a god at the convention!  People marvel at his costume, take his picture, and he meets other Thors, who share his interests, and may share his problems with bulling at school. Sarah has poor self esteem about her looks and her body…she clearly has not kept up with the Kardashians. No girls want to be her friend, and no boys will even look at her in school.  But Sarah can put on a Wonder Woman costume for one weekend, and feel like she can conquer the world!!!  People are complimenting her, snapping pictures, just like she is on the red carpet…and when she goes back to school on Monday, she stands a little straighter, walks with more confidence, and feels better about the girl who she sees in the mirror every day.  

But where there are heroes…there dwell villains..and <feigns shock> anti-heroes!?  Why?  Why would someone, especially a child, want to dress up like something bad, something unsavory, something eeevvviiillll? Since the dawn of man, we have used our imaginations to safely explore our darker sides.  The writer who created the villain certainly had to do so.  So inherently, there must be human parts of these darker characters that everyone can relate to.  Would you prefer that Paul be that weird kid who likes to dress up like the Punisher; or would you think it better that he keeps such ideas to himself?  Forcing himself into conformity, shoving down the weird, the bad, the ugly… until these unreleased urges boil over in an actual real life destructive, or self destructive act? So there you go! A very good example of how cosplay helps to keep anarchy at bay!!!  Now lets take a look at how cosplay can benefit individual’s brains.

Sure, there are more superhero movies and Anime coming out all the time…but superhero movies are based on comics, and Anime is derived from Manga.  So you might be surprised to find out that cosplayers are smarter then the average bear.  And not just because they read, but many of them are becoming the next generation of skilled craftsmen.  I can not stress the importance of this enough! Both reading and crafting strengthen your prefrontal cortex: the part of your brain responsible for organizing, strategizing, controlling impulsive and addictive behaviors.  A strong prefrontal cortex give you a better attention span, helps you deal with stress, and makes you more successful in life in general.


When people take your picture at a convention, or you have the thrill of seeing one of your favs in the flesh, the excitement of seeing another person who shares your passion, that connection, that “Noh” experience causes your brain to flood your body with dopamine and serotonin- your body’s natural happiness drug!  this makes you feel good, and then while you are on your own, crafting and reading, you connect those experiences with the real life experiences and wham-bam-thankyou mam! more happiness drug is released into your system!  

Research psychologist Amy Cuddy proved that holding “power poses” or Alpha stance (and yes, the classic wonder woman pose is included in these) holding these poses, for as little as two minutes lowers your cortozol: (that’s the stress hormone that makes you sad and fat) and raises your testosterone (that the “take the bull by the horns” hormone) Where as holding  shy or withdrawn pose has the opposite effect!  So grandpa telling you to stand up straight isn’t just being old fashioned…he’s trying to make you a happier person! Now, what do we do when we cosplay?  We power pose!!  All day long!!!!  If just two minutes can have an actual physiological effect… imagine what an entire day of power posing can do for you?!!!

Another “take my breath away moment” that happens at conventions is this:  last weekend, I had an entire conversation with Mario.   Yes, Mario the plumber, known for kicking koopa’s butts and saving princess'  yeah, that Mario.  An absolute stranger came up to me an interacted with me as his character .  I didn’t ask him to…I wasn’t even dressed in a costume from the same universe.  But we went on for a good 5 minutes, just bantering back and forth about the treachery  of warp zones, where the next castles where the princess might be found, etc. For five brief minutes….we were playing pretend….just like children!  

There are plenty of experiments done on rats, and “studies” done on children that prove that interactive plat has a plethora of benefits .  Its another activity helps to strengthen our prefrontal cortex that as we explored earlier helps you to problem-solve creatively, reduce impulse behavior, and helps you to be happier and less frustrated with the world around you.  Psychiatrist  Stuart Brown shows in his book Play  that adult play can foster harmony between adults, in families, in the workplace, and even in relationships. The importance of play time for children can not be understated . During playtime  children learn social and physical  boundaries  with their peers, They learn the essence of cooperation, develop stronger language and communication skills then children who play less.  Remember Our Thor, Wonder Woman, and Punisher from earlier?  All these kids have a bright, happy, and social future ahead of them!

So its easy to conclude that cosplay is a great way to play with your kids!!!  In a busy world, why sit staring at your phone agonizingly  waiting for your child’s play-date to be over, when you could be fulfilling your childhood fantasy of being Green Lantern? I’m sure most of you have seen the viral “bat-dad” videos…you can’t deny that they make you smile!  And if you don’t have children…play with each other !!!  Be that dad, that mom, that brother, sister or friend!  It doesn’t matter if you have an expensive costume, or you wrapped a towel around your neck imbue your old class ring with power!  

I hope that I have shown you that cosplay is not “dangerous”, “antisocial” or “frivolous ”.  Hopefully you understand why its important not to shun your weirdo cousin who dressed up Like Harry potter….Because if you stripped Humanity of all its technology, its electricity, its fossil fuels … we would still be left with our imaginations.  And fortunately , all we need to create the magic of “Noh”, this sacred connection that has existed since time before time….. is me, you, and a little imagination!!!     

wizards-7  asked:

Hello meta, as you know I'm not american, and I'm really puzzled about one thing - why does it matter how long you wear the same item of clothing? I always see the jokes like "lol is this the same tshirt you were wearing yesterday" and I'm like... what? Yes it is probably, and? Whats the deal with that, do americans produce sweat in gallons or do they roll in dirt in it every day or do they literally have so much clothes its bad if they dont put all of them eventually?? Im really confused!

Well, I have no idea if it is an American thing or not. I know in more hot climates (and the USA midwest, south, and southwest things can get pretty roasty) people really do sweat a lot and should change clothes regularly. And I do know that if you’re an adolescent, you might be prone to having a weird smell that not everybody is comfortable with (it’s just hormones, it’ll be ok and isn’t shameful) that such a climate might make more noticeable.

In certain places clothing is a status symbol. People wear lots of different clothing to prove they aren’t poor (ugh), or that they have style or fashion, or just otherwise see it as a point of culture to have a new outfit every day. Consumer goods keeps up with this demand by providing cheap (and to an extent, intended-to-be-disposable) clothing produced overseas for pennies on the dollar.

In reality though, a lot of these posts I think are insecurities about these topics. Most people wear jeans for at least 3 days before washing them. Most people wear deodorant and get away with wearing shirts at least twice before washing them just not in a row. The only things that should be washed 1:1 to days are underwear and socks, and most women (especially of larger bra sizes) don’t even wash their bras until they have been worn 3 or more times because too much washing wears them out, and they can be expensive so owning more than 3 pairs can be a problem for many people.

So these posts and jokes are probably more about anxieties, “do I smell? do people hate me?” “am I unfashionable or ugly?” “am i dirty?” “Do I look poor or like I can’t afford clothes?” “lol I look so bad” that are re-affirmed by cultures of negativity. Especially surrounding womens’ appearances and especially among youth– kids in school always MUST see each other almost every day, end up noticing anything the least bit “abnormal,” or any signs of poverty, or unkempt habits.

I wouldn’t take them too seriously as a sign of culture or international difference, but more as messages from people who feel that unless they meticulously manage their appearance and clothing they’re not fit to be in public. Sentiments that have their own issues related.

I never cease to get momentarily confused when I see Americans being like “it’s 100 degrees out it’s so warm”…..

Because to me, an European who use the Celsius system….. 100 degrees is the boiling point, so I’m like.

Yes. Yes it is warm. 100 degrees is very warm. You should be dead right now. Are u ok America.

anonymous asked:

I'm from America and I wish all these bitch-ass Americans would shut the hell up. Yes, it's hot in America sometimes, but you know what? AMERICANS ARE FUCKING USED TO IT. It happens every fucking year, and yeah, sometimes it's worse than usual, but we have fucking ACs. England is used to colder/rainier weather and when a fucking heat wave comes through it fucks you guys up. You literally said nothing about America, or how you guys were worse off (even though you are), so they need to fuck off.

thankyou