yes i did a post with this quote already

  • ah ro: alright, sun woo, what’s it gonna take for you to feel loved? what, you wanna get married? you wanna live happily ever aft-
  • sun woo: yeah.
  • ah ro: what? what did you just say?
  • sun woo: you asked me to marry you. i’m saying yes.
  • ah ro: no... i meant when you said that-
  • sun woo: what? now you don’t wanna get married?
  • ah ro: no, i guess-
  • sun woo: we’ve only been engaged 15 seconds and you’re already getting cold feet.
That Photo Of Me Online...

So, I’m putting it all on the table today. There is a photo of me online.

I didn’t put it there. I don’t generally post or even share photos of myself on the internet, but recently I allowed a friend to take a picture of me and shortly after, that picture ended up in the center of a rather unpleasant meme.

You probably already guessed which meme that is, so let me admit, yes that is me, Ari Bach, author of the Valhalla Trilogy and this blog, and that really is me without any Photoshop. BUT- I never condoned the meme now based on that photo and I absolutely never said or did what it quotes me as having said and done.

I believe that crocodiles are one of the coolest animals in the world and I would never, ever harm one as the meme suggests. Wild animals, in my experience, just want to be left alone and that’s what I do, I leave them alone. So the claims of the meme are completely false, even if the photo is real. Secondly, I want to clarify that the sword was fake, a plastic prop sword from a movie I worked on some years ago. And thirdly, I am fully aware that crocodiles don’t eat bike tires and I would never try to feed one to a crocodile. I never even touched the bike tire, it was just there in the background and was never used as the meme suggests, it was never coated in Vaseline, and it was never “given to an orphanage” after the picture was taken.

Also problematic is the obvious controversy surrounding the inappropriate viewpoints the meme suggests I hold. I want to make it very clear that although I was wearing “corpse paint” like the metal band mentioned, I do not share their views on Donald Trump and I will be voting for Bernie Sanders myself.

Finally, please let me say that I feel very wronged by the posting of and misuse of this photograph. That was meant to be a private and solemn moment between me, the crocodile, the photographer, the clown, the man in the zebra stockings and of course, Robert Downey Jr. It was wrong to post, it was wrong to meme counter to my real beliefs, and I will be pursuing legal action against the Yakuza for posting it as they did.

Thank you for your attention and understanding.

-Ari