yes i cheated but this is my favorite quote of hers

I’ll Never Break Your Heart

[Summary]: After a tragic break up, you put up walls around your heart so it could never be broken again. But you weren’t expecting a certain Avenger to capture it with a cheesy 90′s boy band song.

[Pairing]: Scott x reader (mentions of Steve and Tony)

[Warning]: mention of cheating? um, I think that’s about it… Oh, and WAY too much Scott fluff that nobody knew they needed..

Tagging:  @bovaria @marvel-ash @just-call-me-mrs-captain @dividedwecantfall @buckysmetallicstump @mellifluous-melodramas @avengerofyourheart @buckyslion @metalarmproblems @marvelingatthewonder @beccaanne814-blog @mcuimxgine @capsbuchanan @imagine-assembling-the-avengers @that-sokovian-bastard @abovethesmokestacks @maybe-mikala @violentlyfarts @hymnofthevalkyries @after-avenging-hours @buckys-shield @callamint @redgillan @candyrogers @tragicalchemist @marvelous-fvcks @professionally-crazed @thetalesofmooseandsquirrel @fanfic-shiz @i-dont-know-how-to-write @iwillbeinmynest @theassetseyeliner @lilasiannerd @aubzylynn @ourpeachskies

A/N: This is for @buckysmetallicstump‘s “Disney Quotes Challenge”. Quote is in BOLD. And it’s also a result from listening to the Backstreet Boys a bit too much… No shame, though! Used these two songs for this fic [x] [x] (the second song will be used again at another point)

Originally posted by skyexwanda

Originally posted by scraap

There were times that you thought being an Avenger made you unbreakable. But when you found out your boyfriend of three years was cheating on you, well… that did it for you. You completely broke down, isolated yourself from the team for several months and put up walls around your heart, scared that if you let someone else love you, it would happen all over again.

But what you didn’t expect to have happen was a man named Scott Lang enter your life.

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Questions I was Asked

1. What’s your middle name?   Non Existent.
2. What are you listening to right now?  Lana Del Rey - Florida Kilos
3. What was the last thing you ate?  A mint Kind bar
4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My bestie 
5. Do you drink? Yes … Champagne, Martinis, White Wine
6. Do you smoke? No
7. What is the first thing you notice in someone? Cheekbones, I also have a habit of approximating their dick size, if male.
8. What is your hair color? Brunette
9. What is your eye color? Blue/Green
10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? I should lol 
11. Dogs or cats? Dogs - Mini Schnauzers
12. What’s your favorite animal? Horse
13. What’s your favorite television show? Weeds
14. What’s your favorite movie? No Country for Old Men
15. What’s your favorite band/singer? Rolling Stones … Mick Jagger
16. How old are you? 28
17. Do you have a crush on anyone? Absolutely
18. What’s your sexual orientation? Try-sexual
19. What’s your favorite color? Black or Purple
20. What was your most embarrassing moment? Getting out my car and walking directly into a lamp post.
21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Never.
22. What were you like when you were a kid? Artistic.
23. What would your dream house be like? Frank Lloyd Wright inspired.
24. What last made you laugh? A clip of Leo DiCaprio talking about Russians on a plane.
25. What is your favorite word? Fuck
26. What is your least favorite word? No
27. What turns you on? Objectification, fucking outside, rough sex
28. What turns you off? Uptight people.
29. What is your star sign? Sagittarius 
30. What are your favorite books? Tony Robbins books.
31. Do you have any siblings? No.
32. Do you like to dance? On a pole, yes.
33. What is your definition of cheating? It’s all relative.  Fucking someone without announcing it to hubby before I do it :P
34. Have you ever cheated on someone? Yes.
35. Do you regret anything? Not at all.
36. Do you have any phobias? Hate bugs?!
37. Ever broken any bones? Jaw, ankle, ribs, nose, toe … etc
38. Ever come close to death? Not really.
39. What is your religion, if any? Jewish.
40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Yes … I’m crazy according to modern therapy, I just think they are boring 
41. Are looks important in a relationship? They factor … dick is more important.
42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? Dad.
43. What is your favorite season? Spring.
44. Do you have any tattoos? No.
45. Do you have any piercings? Soon to have pussy pierced.
46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Lost count 
47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? No, I need know someone is realistically fuckable.
48. Who is your celebrity crush? Ben Affleck 
49. Are you a virgin? The furthest thing from a Virgin.
50. Do you get jealous easily? No.
51. What is your favorite type of food? Anything from Nobu … love fusion foods.
52. Do you ever want to get married? Yes.
53. Who was your first kiss with? Matthew Roberts … outside the Roller Disco.
54. Have you ever been cheated on? Yes.
55. What is your idea of the perfect date? Hotel suite, champagne, hard fuck.
56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? An enigma apparently lol. Not my words.
57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? Yes. 
58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with? No gag reflex.
59. What is your saddest memory? None, everything happens for a reason, remember the happy moments.
60. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes.
61. Do you believe in soul mates? Yes.
62. Have you ever dyed your hair? Blonde, pink, purple, etc.
63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? LOL yes!  It only matters if you give a fuck however.
64. Would you go against your moral code for money?No but I have an unorthodox set of morals.  
65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? I can play guitar.
66. Who are you jealous of?
67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy? A sex toy.
68. How long was your longest relationship? 6 years.
69. Is the glass half empty or half full? Half full 
70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Shower me with cash while fucking me in my ass.
71. Who is your most loyal friend? Amber.  100%.
72. Are you in a relationship? 
73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?
74. Are you a bad person? Housewives nationwide would say yes, I say no.
75. Are you a lover or a fighter? Lover, if we have to constantly argue, we have zero business being around each other.
76. What did you do on your last birthday? Totally do not remember.  
77. What is your favorite quote and why? Not sure.
78. If your best friend died, what would you do? Not much I could do. Avenge their death?
79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? I would have quit school earlier.
80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? Gangbang and eat lasagna.
81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? Recurring dream this bald guy comes out of the wardrobe and then follows me around for the day
82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? Ummm it’s nice to have someone to share experiences with.
83. Who were you in a past life? The Virgin Mary … clearly in this life I am making up for the fact I missed out on sex courtesy of immaculate conception.
84. What is your happiest childhood memory? Riding horses along the beach.
85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? lol when I was young and chubby yeh.
86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? No.
87. If you were the president, what would you do? Turn the White House into a strip club/brothel.
88. What is your ideal career? My current one.
89. What is your political affiliation? The Openminded Party.  Live and let live.
90. Are you conservative or liberal? A bit of both.  I love my guns, god, government.
91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection? Female, we have more to play with.
92. Do you like kissing in public? Yes.
93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? Illness, if I could cure friends/family who are sick, I would.
94. Where would you like to live? LA or Dubai.
95. Where would you go on your dream vacation? Japanese Sex Hotel
96. Describe yourself in one word. Twat.
97. Describe yourself in one sentence.  It’ll only sound contrived.

KazaChi Week 2017: The First Time

For @hakuoukishippingweek’s KazaChi week: A modern-day AU one shot. Apologies in advance. I have no idea where this plot bunny sprang from. [Read HERE on]

Day 4 Prompt: First Time


“Chizuru,” Sen whined across the phone line, drawing out the last syllable of her name. “He’s only going to be here for dinner… There’s no reason for you to not come home after class!”

“I’ll come back to the apartment when he leaves. I’m sorry, Sen, but your cousin is…” Chizuru paused, seemingly trying to find the right word.

“An ass?” Sen supplied helpfully.

Chizuru exhaled loudly. “Yes. Yes, he is. A condescending one who has been rude to both me and the guys on multiple occasions.”

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Getting to Know : Maha Lyehga

What is your character’s full name?: Maha Lyehga
➥ When were they born?: 2nd sun of the 2nd Umbral Moon, 30 years ago (I forget what year it is >,>)
➥ What are their parent’s names?: Nadhri Lyehga, father unknown
➥ Do they have any brothers or sisters?: She had one sister, Suha Lyehga
➥ What kind of eyes do they have?: Large and golden with round pupils; usually drawn in a sleepy, distant state. Her eyes squint and can sometimes get watery when the sun is high
➥ What kind of hair do they have?: Long, black hair that reaches the middle of her back. Smooth and straight, with a slight wave to it, typically braided and decorated with metal clasps, beads, and feathers
➥ What is their complexion like?: Sooty, often painted with ash in distinct designs around the eyes and forehead
➥ What body type are they?: Lean, somewhat bony
➥ What is listening to their voice like?: She has a low, quiet speaking voice which has a harsh tinge to it when she is irritated or otherwise excited. Speaks slowly and carefully
➥ What do they hate most about themselves?: She’s quite happy with herself, but she does occasionally struggle with a gambling addiction. In essence, she hates always being short on gil
➥ Do they have a favorite quote?: “Never been so lucky.”
➥ What sort of music do they enjoy?: Solo harp bits, which she plays herself in ritual or for pure entertainment
➥ Have/would they ever cheat(ed) on a partner?: No
➥ Have they been cheated on by a partner?: No
➥ Have they ever lost someone close to them?: Yes; her sister
➥ What is their favorite sound?: The sound of light breeze; quiet, ambient forest noise
➥ Are they judgmental of others?: Of course
➥ Have they ever been drunk?: Yes, frequently
➥ What are they like when they stay up all night?: Happy, as that is her favorite part of the day. Staying up all day however, she is slower and more irritable than normal
➥ Have they ever been arrested?: See: favorite quote
➥ What evokes strong memories for them?: The smell of a campfire, burning herbs (done on purpose, usually), stargazing
➥ What do they do on rainy days?: Stay inside and gripe
➥ What religion are they?: She believes in all the Twelve, but pays most respects to Nymeia, Nophica, and Menphina
➥ What word do they overuse the most?: “Hmm…”
➥ What do they wear to bed?: A simple nightgown, or nothing
➥ Do they have any tattoos or piercings?: 3- two in the left ear, one in the right
➥ What type of clothing are they most comfortable in?: Light, layered fabrics that afford movement while also looking pretty
➥ What is their most disliked food?: Roasted vilekin
➥ Do they have any enemies?: Usually people that disturb the peace of the forest- particularly, Garleans stationed in the Shroud and the Coeurlclaws
➥ What does their writing look like?: Chickenscratch, but she can read it
➥ What disgusts them?: Pungent smells; invasive, persistent people

Tagged by @which-can-eternal-lie, @cinnamon-suncat, and some others that slip my mind currently (thank you!)

Tagging: @tarot-dancer, @moko-ffxiv, @eorzean-vixen, @yuri-usagi-ffxiv, @canelo-izo, @sibutum, @ayultai, @smol-moon-catte, @thaneratelesia, @drazirae & anyone else interested!

Header image by @ro-chan (<333)

The sky is falling, but it only ever happens beneath the bruised heart of my eyes. You can find the truth there, there are no lies. I can try to tell you how often I visit the galleries in your eyes, all I know is I always want to stay. I may be in love with the sound of your emptiness, the way your smile unwraps winter. every night has teeth, and though my thoughts feel you most when you have no one else to love, I welcome solitude like a rainy day. my life is a blur of nothing and I’m all out of deep breaths. Things are never what you want them to be because when I said that I loved you, I meant that forever and always will remain as my own definition. You’ve destroyed us, but it only comes down to rain. The sky is falling, the sky is awake. I’m frozen into these bitter memories of a sweeter me. The sky is bending, the sky is asleep. I’m still starlight that you’ll never see, but it’s alright. The sky is blending, the sky is dreaming. I’m still scratching at these scars, you’re still licking those wounds like salt from the ocean doesn’t fucking hurt and yes, I write about love when love isn’t there– but when love returns and love is sweet, wouldn’t you like to know… one day, we’ll forget about each other. They tell me to write about different things. They want me to fix the world. The starving world. The greed for money. The I’ll beat you to it mentality. The if you’re not going to get up, you’re never going to get the worm kind of life. The if you do this one thing, it’ll be okay by tonight kind of lie. The truth is, my heart still feels and I’ve been spilling. I can’t fix the world. I fucking can’t. I can’t do this alone. I’m just one person, but you know what I can do? When the sky fucking breaks. When you’re all alone. When you crack open Tumblr and you’re looking for a poem. When you’ve just experienced a break up. When you’ve fallen madly in love. When you’ve met someone new. When they cheated on you. When you’ve gotten revenge. When you’ve fucked their feelings over. When you’re all alone and 40. When you realize your mistake. When they never forgive you. When you give them patience. When you learn from it. When you realize that sex doesn’t always mean a healthy relationship. When you kiss her goodnight. When you finally put a ring on her finger. When you’ve confessed your undying love for him. When he rejects you oh so slowly. When he doesn’t talk to you like you put the fucking stars into the sky. When she didn’t say I love you back because she’s scared and insecure that you might leave too. When he said he hated you, but held you tighter while you both cried. When she drove away in that white car and you thought that the clouds took her away. When the rain reminds you of how you haven’t been. When you finally get over them. When you finally get over yourself. When the sky falls. When the sky finally breaks. When you’re finally a version of yourself that’s lovable, know this… darling, you’ve always been lovely, you just needed the right person to say the right words at the right time to silently fall back into a love that won’t break you this time around. When you cut yourself open because it’s just too much to take in. When you drink yourself sober because fuck the feelings you’ve been feeling this whole week. When you’ve taken those 60 pills within a week and said, yeah, I’m going to quit soon. When you’re on your bathroom floor and crying is the only shower you’ve been taking. When you’re driving and that old favorite song comes on. When the rain comes from your eyes. When you’re trying to find a distraction, but it’s only more background noise to drown out all of the bullshit you’ve been told your whole life. When you’re finally too broken to continue. And when you really believe that nobody would ever fucking love you… just know that that’s exactly why I strictly only write about love poems… because in more ways than eternity and infinity having a beautiful mixed baby that’ll become your soulmate one day… darling, I write because maybe in some way, you won’t feel as alone. I write this because in this moment, somebody, somewhere– a stranger like me, I will love you until you believe again. That’s why I write these love poems. That’s why I write for you.
—  On the topic of love poems
Because I'm Stupid

Pairing: You x Kai

Request: “hey! can i request a slightly angst scenario where me and kai broke up because of a misunderstanding. we don’t talk for a while but we both still love and miss each other. kai ends up deciding to make a move and comes to patch things up with you. happy ending please ^^ thankyou!!!! xxz”

I LOVE READING PLOTS LIKE THESE! So simple but idk, it just gets me right in the feels. I hope y'all like this! Invisible cookie for whoever knows which k-drama the title of this scenario is related to..

WARNING: Angst because who doesn’t like angst.

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She just wanted to give me some homework I left at school.“
"And she took a taxi out here just to do that?”
What could I tell her? That Brodie had come out to suss out where I lived and what my mother did?

“Yes. She’ll probably get a new car when she turns sixteen.”
My mother looked at me as if I was tying to rub it in that she and my father were not going to get me a new car when I came of age.
“She’s spoiled,” I said, and I could see my mother’s face sag with relief.

“You don’t have to be the best at this new school,” she told me. “You don’t have to be the smartest. You don’t have to be like that girl. All you have to be is a good person. I see everyone around me getting the things they want in life. Robina and her husband with their business, Tee with her son at university, Ngo with her new house at Ambient Estates. And every time I go over to one of their houses, they always talk about it. But the proud talk soon turns into a line of complaints. The local butchering business is being seized by supermarkets these days, Tee’s son comes home really late at night, and she has no idea where he’s been, Ngo’s builder cheated them out of seven thousand dollars.”

My mother sighed. And I have to sit there and tell them, well sister, at least you’re rich. At lease you’re successful. At least your boy is in university now. But do you know what I never do? I never tell them about us. I never tell them that your father often works in the garage with me after his shift and we talk. That we made a tent out of netting for the Lamb. That I sometimes let you stay home with me when you’re not sick. I never tell them about our lives. You know why? It is not because I am ashamed. It is because some things are just good. Too good to be judged. 

I knew my mother was telling the truth, because she never lied. She didn’t even understand white lies. She just stayed silent if she didn’t agree with someone. And I understand now why I had been so enraged when Brodie came over to our house uninvited. I could cope when I kept my two worlds separate, but Brodie had seen the most precious part of me, and she had trashed it.

—  Lucy Lam, from Alice Pung’s Lucy and Linh
my recs for #readwomen

So I rather likes this idea so I decided to share a few of my favorite female authors that aren’t quote as well known or talked about on tumblr, either because they’re older authors or just cuz the genres aren’t as hyped up!

Anne McCaffrey - The queen of dragons people, her Pern series has made me cry more than any other book series I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. There are dozens of books and her son is now taking over the series now that’s she’s passed away, but still if you haven’t read these. Go. Read. Now! She also has a couple of sets of books revolving around sci-fi which are of course great reads too. Just kinda read everything by her. They’re fast and easy to read and you’ll love yourself for it!

Mercedes Lackey - Right up there with Pern at getting me emotionally involved in characters until I weep right along with them. Her Valdemar series is absolutely superb with a great mix of diversity. Plus, talking ‘horses.’ Do I really need to say more? But honestly all of her books are pretty much amazing, I haven’t read one of them I wouldn’t recommend to someone else.

Anne Bishop - Absolutely one of my fave ‘new’ authors. The Other series is my newest obsession and I’m literally counting the days until the next book comes out. And her Black Jewel series is also very empowering and demanding on the soul. Warning though these books are made for trigger warnings so read the summaries and know what you’re getting into first. 

Patricia Briggs - Ah my true love, I would haunt this author if I died before she stopped writing her books. Seriously I’d just hang around her office and read over her shoulder as she write and just be in heaven. Fantastic mix of characters, monsters, diversity, genders, sexuality, mythologies, etc. Just fantastic. I love every single thing about these books.

Naomi Novik - Absolutely interesting read, her Temeraire series is an AU that absolutely appeals to me in every way shape and form. The story is told from a point of a view of a British naval officer during the time of Napoleon’s rise to power and creation of his empire. With one twist…did I mention dragons are real and used by the military as aerial combat units? 

Tamora Pierce - I read these books as a teen and came back later in life and re-read them again. And yes I still love them. Built around diverse female lead characters in a fantasy world, her books are a pleasure to read.

Gail Z. Martin - Absolute genius are creating a in depth and complicated fantasy world with a huge cast of characters and locations. Like Game of Thrones level of world creation here and about the same length in book size too. lol

Karen Miller - Creating massive diverse fantasy worlds with political machinations and magical backgrounds and theories with the same ease that I manage to turn on my computer with. I’ve read two of her series so far and am eagerly looking for more from her in the future! So also writes under the name K.E. Mills and those books are just as amazing too. Definitely an author for a reader who loves to dive into their fantasy worlds. 

Jane Lindskold - Fantastic world builder and character builder, she really does a great job of creating diverse characters with different voices in her stories. Plus the inclusion of ‘Royal’ animals which have human or above level intelligence is a bonus for the critter loving side of my life. Plus one of the main characters is a giant wolf, so take that as you will as my type of story. lol

Robin Hobb - Creator of what is probably one of my absolutely fave fantasy worlds, in which all her books kind of interweave a presence through. There is just some kind of odd joy for me in seeing the names of towns and players from others books mentioned in a completely different story and knowing that they’re all in the same vast world.

Diana Pharaoh Francis - Fantastic fantasy/adventure stories with great fun characters and worlds that are great to read over and over again.

Jennifer Estep - I’m about 7 books into her Elemental Assassin series and have yet to be disappointed by her writing and her characters. 

Ilona Andrews - Okay so this may be a bit of a cheat so you might save these for another time if you want. These books are written by a husband and wife team. But honestly I love the Kate Daniels series so much I can’t help but recommend reading it. It’s rare to have a funny, tough, character with some lovely sexy scenes mixed into a plot that is outstanding.

Warm And Silvery Nights - Rami Malek x Reader

Author Notes: I got super inspired by F Scott Fitzgerald and his wife Zelda Fitzgerald. I hope you like this one, its quite a bit longer than the other ones I’ve written.

Reader’s p.o.v:

I sighed deeply in disappointment when he told me the news. Rami would be staying on the East Coast for a few more weeks. He was supposed to be home weeks ago but he had to stay longer.

“I have to go to bed. I have early classes tomorrow.”

Rami looked just as disappointed as I felt. We had planned on video chatting for a few hours before bed, but Rami was late and we just got on.

“I love you.” he nodded.

I knew he truly meant it. Our love was never something either of us had to question. The only reason he was there was work. I couldn’t even express how proud I am, he worked so hard to get where he is and I refused to be the person to selfishly hold him back from his dreams.

“I love you too,” I sighed. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Rami nodded as we ended the video chat. I miss him terribly, and its become very apparent in my writing. A few weeks ago, my professor stopped me after class asking if I was okay. She was telling me how depressing my stories had become. I had more time to write when Rami is away. It was true, I became depressed when he’s gone. Rami always fell asleep with the tv on and now its become comforting to leave the tv on at night, even though I’d normally turn it off before bed.

I wrote all day everyday, until my hand ached. I could pour my emotions and feelings into notebooks effortlessly. These notebooks were all over the house I share with Rami.  I had bookshelves filled with my notebooks and books by my favorite authors. Rami was nothing but supportive of my dreams to be a novelist, I had to be supportive of his dreams and I was. But I hated the traveling that came with it, I always missed him terribly, even if it was a weekend trip.

I dragged myself out of bed despite how melancholy I had felt. I got ready for my favorite class I took, I gathered my things before leaving the comfort of my home. As I commuted to class on the train, I listened to stranger’s conversations like usual. Occasionally I would hear someone say something that caught my attention and jot it down urgently to save for later.

On the whiteboard in front of class, F Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda Fitzgerald quotes were written. My favorite authors, and some of my favorite quotes by them. I took my usual seat, pleasantly surprised by today’s class. That was until my professor went on and on about how great of a person F Scott Fitzgerald was. I exhaled in boredom and disapproval.

“Y/N, do you have anything to say or add to this?”

“Actually yes. F Scott Fitzgerald is not this amazing person you are talking about. He had cheated on Zelda multiple times, he stole writing from her diary and used it for his own work. He also used their marriage for his writing and had a fit when she did the same thing.” I answered. “I didn’t even mention how he purposely triggered her mental illness.”

My professor was deep in thought deciding the next question she would ask. The room sat in silence waiting for her response.

“What about their love letters?” she asked about the famous letters they sent back and forth when Zelda was in the hospital.

“I believe they truly loved each other. He fell in love with the idea of Zelda, is she what he really wanted for a wife? I don’t know, but she really fell in love with him. They were not in a healthy relationship to say the least and they shouldn’t have married.”

“Stay after class for a moment.” she nodded in response to my rant.

The remaining of class dragged on, finally the clock hit 11 and the class was over. I packed my things and stayed as the rest of the students emptied out of the room quickly. The professor leaned against her desk.

“I heard the Fitzgerald’s are your favorite.”

“Yes,” I nodded “How did you know?”

I don’t remember ever telling her who my favorite authors were. The handwriting on the board looks like Rami’s. That can’t be, he’s working on a movie in New York.

“I guessed, purely based off your writing style. It’s very close to his writing style. Plus I have something for you.” she smiled.

I hated surprises, my heart pounded and my mind raced. She gathered her papers and I followed her to her office.

“Could you get the door for me?”

I nodded. Unlocking the door with her keys, I opened the door nervously. I walked in and stepped out of her way. Hands wrapped around my waist unexpectedly. I quickly turned around to see Rami grinning. Tears swelled in my eyes as I wrapped my arms around his neck in an embrace.

“I’ve missed you so much.” I mumbled. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought I would surprise you.”

I planted a kiss on his lips, they tasted just how I remembered. It had been months since I last saw Rami in person.

“Let’s go home.” I demanded. We are in desperate need of some alone time.

“Y/N, I expect your work to be less depressing now. Keep doing what you’ve been doing and don’t do what Fitzgerald did.”

I nodded, she knew I took notes of things around me for my writing but I’ve always made sure to never let it get to the point Fitzgerald did. There are certain things he did to Zelda that I couldn’t even get myself to do to Rami. After lunch we walked home in the warm afternoon, hand in hand. I was ecstatic he was finally home.

“I can’t think of anything but nights with you. I want them to be warm and silvery.” I confessed by quoting Zelda.

That quote was exactly how I felt, and it couldn’t be any more honest than that. Of all the things I missed, those nights with Rami was probably the thing I missed most. Peacefully quiet nights, cuddling without saying a word but without words we still found a way to express how much we love and care for each other. Its those warm and silvery nights with Rami that I love.

A Witch Like Me- An Anthy Himemiya Mix

A tribute to one of my favorite characters ever- a girl who can no longer be a princess, who was born to be the woman we could blame, an accused witch, a badass driver and the woman who saves herself- Anthy Himemiya.

1. Mother| Lissie// 2. I Run Rosie Thomas// 3. Girl| Tori Amos//4. Million Years|Nico Vega// 5. Blood Roses|| Tori Amos//6. Glittering Cloud| Imogen Heap//7. Opheliac| Emilie Autumn//8,Strawberry Gashes| Jack Off Jill// 9. Jezebel// Iron & Wine//10. Fight Like a Girl// Emilie Autumn//11. Yes I’m a Witch| Yoko Ono//12. Bad Girls Do It Well// M.I.A.

Play on 8tracks

Play on Playmoss

Short annotations under the cut

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anonymous asked:

Is Loki truly tied to lies? It seems to me that he tells hard truths and does what is necessary for needed change which benefits everyone to occur. At least that's my experience of him and my interpretation of his lore. I'm wondering on your viewpoints and whether I view him through rose tinted glasses, I guess. I know no one can say for certain. Thanks!

One of Loki’s kennings is frumkveði flærðanna, which translates to something along the lines of “he who first spoke falsehood” or “originator of deceit.” Now, you could chalk this up to a later Christian invention, a parallel to Satan, “the father of lies.” But let’s take a moment and look at Loki’s track record in the myths. He:

  • Lies to Idunn to lure her out to be abducted by Thjazi
  • Participates in a plot to cheat a builder out of his fee
  • Pays wergild with cursed treasure
  • Poses as a bridesmaid to get Mjolnir back from Thrym
  • Disguises himself to learn Baldr’s weakness
  • (Possibly) poses as a giantess to keep Baldr in Hel

You could argue that some of these folks had it coming, and you would be correct to point out that several other gods (particularly Loki’s blood brother, Odin) are just as guilty. Nonetheless, Loki’s record isn’t exactly clean in terms of honesty.

However, that doesn’t mean he isn’t also a speaker of hard truths when the situation calls for it. In fact, sometimes a lie is the only way to get the truth across.

For example, maybe someone taught you fables when you were a child. There was never actually a little boy who falsely cried wolf only to be eaten later, or a tortoise who beat a hare in a footrace, but these stories get the lessons across more clearly than a straightforward lecture might.

Or think back to middle school science class. Odds are you were introduced to atoms with models made of wooden balls and sticks. Now, in high school chemistry and beyond, you learned that atoms really don’t function that way at all. But the balls and sticks were still a really useful step in reaching that deeper level of understanding and conveying specific aspects of their nature.

Or, to quote one of my favorite passages from Terry Pratchett, in The Hogfather:

“All right,“ said Susan. “I’m not stupid. You’re saying humans need… fantasies to make life bearable.”


“Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—”


“So we can believe the big ones?”


“They’re not the same at all!”


“Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what’s the point—”


Lies and truth are not always as far off as they appear at first glance, which is why a liminal god like Loki is a masterful speaker of both.

-Mod E

Twenty Facts about Yang Xiao Long (Compiled by Blake Belladonna) (Bumbleby)

Yang is absolutely terrible at keeping surprises parties … surprises. My last birthday, she actually told me about the party on purpose and asked that I act surprised. (It also turns out I’m absolutely terrible at acting.)

Yang likes coming up with nicknames for people, but never actually using them. Yes, this includes herself. (“Ra-pun-zel” is my favorite one, so far.)

Wool tickles Yang. She insists on wearing ugly Midwinter sweaters every year in any case. (Last year’s had working sleigh bells on it, and, I’m positive, a hidden stash of mistletoe.)

Yang collects bird feathers she finds on the ground. She says they’re for her mom. (It’s maybe a bit playing into the stereotype when I leave feathers I find on her bed, but …)

Whenever Yang gets the hiccups, she attempts to pretend she doesn’t have the hiccups. Whenever I have the hiccups, she panics. (I’m not yet certain what happens when we get the hiccups at the same time.)

When Yang wants to get out of an awkward conversation with me, she tries to distract me with some of the world’s worst lap-dancing. (It works about seventy percent of the time.)

Yang has recently come to the realization that, for some reason or another, she has never, ever had a hot dog. She now refuses to have one for fear she’ll “break the streak.” (I may or may not be attempting to learn how to grill.)

There is precisely one scenario in which Yang would ever get a haircut: if she ever has children. She says she wants her hair to grow with them. (I’m still not quite sure how to respond to that one, to be honest.)

Yang, despite all athletic ability otherwise, cannot jump rope to save her life. She still seems determined to beat my record in any case. (228 skips, as a side note.)

Yang does not talk in her sleep. She also does not snore, or sleepwalk, or toss and turn all night. However, she has, on occasion, been known to sing. (Her rendition of Soda Bubbles is oddly lulling, for a pop tune.)

Yang has a bucket list that is entirely blank. She plans on filling it out on her deathbed with all the things she never got to do and giving out a copy to whoever wants it. (Though she has confessed that she’s thinking about adding on something about “petting all the dogs in the world” right away.)

Yang cannot make snow angels. She always gets excited, and all the snow around her melts away. (I usually end up making them for her.)

Yang only plays multiplayer video games or games with customizable characters. And I quote, “My favorite character is me!” (Mine may be as well.)

Yang only drinks milk as a last resort. While she – there is no other word for it – chugs it, her eyes will turn red. (I never felt sorry for a carton of milk until I met Yang.)

Yang’s reaction to winning a game is always to ask for a rematch. Her reaction to losing a game is always to congratulate you and stop playing. (I suppose it’s one way of ensuring she wins either way.)

Yang is a classically trained dancer. If you spend any amount of time around her and music, you’ll be a classically trained dancer, too. (You will also, likely, lose all feeling in your legs after the first couple of hours.)

Yang will always slide sock-clad across hardwood paneling, given the chance. She will make her own chance, if such is necessary. (On more than one occasion, I’ve had to hold her boots while she did so.)

Yang can blow two bubblegum bubbles at one time. She claims the trick is “all in the wrist.” (The first time I asked, she said it with such confidence I almost believed her.)

Yang never uses an umbrella, no matter how badly it might be storming. She never uses her Semblance to dry herself off, either. (“That would be cheating!”)

Finally, and most importantly, Yang is, without a doubt, truly and factually, objectively speaking … beautiful. In fact, Yang Xiao Long is the most beautiful girl in the entire world. (Even if she says that that’s me, instead.)

Interstellar Movie Review #21

YES ITS LONG!! Get over it.

When a movie is smart, heart-warming, exciting, distressful, involuntarily funny, cheesy, and intentionally funny is oquey to take three hours to tell your story.

Christopher Nolan wants to take you in a journey, not a perfect one. It drags a little in the middle, making it kind of tiresome (kind of) at the end, with all the people in my cinema having to pee once it was over. The dialogue is very bumpy in quality (Anne Hathaway has a monologue about love that feels so gratuitous in the moment until you feel the movie punching you in the face with the same message like 90 minutes later). The exposition keeps being Nolan weakness constantly pausing the movie to tell you what the hell is going on. The structure is not as tight as his previous efforts. And like I mention before there is a moment that is so involuntarily hilarious it took all the audience out of the movie (you will know when, trust me).

BUT…I loved it.

Matthew McCounaghey (I hope I wrote it correctly) is incredible as the “everyman once was an astronaut but never have an opportunity to see space…until now” you feel the excitement, joy, anguish, pain, I can tell you more emotions McDonaghy makes you feel all. Micahel Caine, Jessica Chastain, Topher Grace (happy to see him in anything). John Lithgow, Anne Hathaway, and even Casey Affleck are also amazing but this is McCough movie.

The story is ambitious and clever with a very soft center of emotions, with McDouble and her daughter being the emotional center of the film. No matter how vast and gigantic the distance felt, that relationship is always present becoming the anchor that keeps the film human.

The effects are great but for a 2014 Hollywood blockbuster is not that hard. But still, pretty impressive the majestic of space, the weightless effect (that even to this day keeps being flawless), the strange nature of the other planets, and those robots, not just the effects on them are awesome, Tars (Christopher Nolan take on the comic sidekick) is a masterful creation, I adore that robot.

The science behind the movie is smart and very well used for creating exiting situations that take you from being to the edge of your seat in one moment to being sobbing the next, with its cheesy but moving moments. What takes to the controversial point of Interstellar.

When you think the movie is going to be over (and you can finally go to the bathroom) it takes a left, that leave science kind of aside (kind of). I don’t want to spoil it. But it asks a big leap of credibility to the audience that you may be happy to take or can feel cheated about it. This is the decisive point (in my opinion) where Interstellar can lose you. In my case I find it not only interesting and satisfying, but I think this is where the film shows its true colors, many will refer it to 2001, and yes sometimes it feels like it (with TARS being a constantly homage to the monolith) but instead of showing the ideas behind the movie and then let you with them without answers (like the Kubrick classic). Nolan shows you those ideas and then gives you his take on them. Some may hate that wanting the ambiguity of those ideas, but 2001 already did that.

For once I love that a movie takes ambitious ideas and then show you its take, ambiguity has been a very used exit strategy for other movies (like the also amazing Inception) that it became kind of tiresome for me.

Interstellar is simply one of the best films of a year that has had a great majority of awesome movies. Its decisions make not be for everyone, but its character relations, clever science use, incredible effects, awesome comic relief, and even awesomer McCoasdfadghag kept all the people in the cinema three holding their piss.


Favorite Quote:

 “We’ve always defined ourselves by the ability to overcome the impossible. “ …and any of TARS’s lines.
- Cooper




SI ES LARGA!!! Supérenlo.

Cuando una película es inteligente, conmovedora, emocionante, angustiante, involuntariamente graciosa, cursi e intencionalmente graciosa, esta bien que se tome tres horas en contar tu historia.

Christopher Nolan quiere llevarte a un viaje, no uno perfecto. Es lenta en su segundo acto, haciéndola algo cansada (algo) al final, con todas las personas en mi sala teniendo que orinar una vez terminada. El dialogo es de dudosa calidad (Anne Hathaway tiene un monologo sobre amor que se siente gratuito en el momento hasta que sientes la película golpearte el rostro con el mismo mensaje 90 minutos después). La exposición sigue siendo la debilidad de Nolan constantemente pausando la película para decirte que demonios está pasando. La estructura no es tan concisa como sus previos trabajos. Y como mencione antes, hay un momento que es tan involuntariamente gracioso que saco a toda su audiencia de la experiencia (tu sabrás cual escena, créeme).

PERO…Amo seta pelicula.

Matthew McCounahey (espero haberlo escrito bien) es increíble como el “hombre común que una vez fue astronauta pero nunca tuvo la oportunidad de ver el espacio…hasta ahora” siente la emoción, angustia, dolor, puedo decir más emociones, McDonaghy te hace sentir todas. Michael Caine, Jessica Chastain, Topher Grace (feliz de verlo en algo), John Lithgow, Anne Hathaway y hasta Casey Affleck son también increíbles pero esta es la película de McCough.

La historia es ambiciosa e inteligente con un centro cremoso de emociones con McDouble y su hija siendo el centro emocional de la película. No importa que vasta o gigantesca sea la distancia, esa relación está siempre presente convirtiéndose en el ancla que mantiene la película humana.

Los efectos son grandiosos, pero de un blockbuster hollywoodense en el año 2014 eso es de esperarse. Pero aun así, la majestuosidad del espacio, el efecto de cero gravedad (que aun en estos tiempos sigue viéndose asombroso) la extraña naturaleza de los planetas, y esos robots, no solo el efecto es genial, TRAS (el intento de Nolan por un comic sidekick) es una creación maestra, adoro a ese robot.

La ciencia tras la película es interesante y muy bien utilizada para crear emocionantes situaciones que te llevan de estar al borde de tu asiento a estarte aguantando el llanto con sus cursis pero conmovedores momentos.. Lo que me lleva al punto controversial de Interstellar.

Cuando crees que la pelicula va a terminar (y al fin podrás ir al baño) da un giro a la izquierda en Albuquerque, que deja a la ciencia algo de lado (algo). No quiero arruinarlo. Pero pide un gran salto de credibilidad a su audiencia que puedes tomar fácilmente o sentirte ofendido. Este es el punto decisivo (en mi opinión) donde Interstellar puede perderte. In mi opinión no lo encontré no solo interesante y satisfactorio, sino que creo que es donde el filme muestra sus verdaderos colores, muchos harán la referencia a 2001, y si en momentos se siente como 2001 (con TARS siendo un constante homenaje al monolito) pero en lugar de mostrar las ideas y después dejarte colgado con ellas (como el clásico de Kubrick). Nolan muestra esas ideas y te da su opinión de ellas. Algunos odiaran eso buscando la ambigüedad, pero 2001 ya hizo eso.

Para variar, amo que una película tome ambiciosas ideas y te de su opinión, la ambigüedad ha sido una muy utilizada estrategia para otras películas (como la genial Inception) que se ha convertido en algo cansino para mí.

Interstellar es sencillamente una de las mejores películas del año que ha tenido gran cantidad de geniales películas. Sus decisiones que toma no son para todos, pero la relación de sus personajes, inteligente uso de ciencia (en sus dos tercios), asombrosos efectos, genial comic relief, y aun mas genial McCasfadfas mantuvieron a todas las personas en mi sala tres horas aguantando las ganas de mear.


Cita Favorita

“Siempre nos hemos definido por la habilidad de superar lo imposible”… o cualquier línea de TRAS”

Boruto the movie experience

I listed down some of fun moments of Boruto- Naruto the movie.
All I can say is it is an action-packed film. I love it. 


Cute BoruHina scene:
(official english subs) 

Himawari: Brother, today is my birthday. Let’s go home!
Boruto: Yes! (and then, we saw a broad smile from Boruto, I must say, this scene melted my heart)
Then Sarada looked at Boruto, Himawari and Hinata.
Her eyes was like sparking. (shoujo eyes)
Then this happened. 

Boruto: Kaa-chan, I’ll carry those. (then he carried the groceries)
We will be having a feast, Himawari

Anndddd… Remember this pic? 

It is actually a picture of Hinata, Naruto and a young Boruto (toddler?). That’s what I saw. (maybe I’m wrong, but I’m 90% sure)

After Boruto lashed out to his mom, he went to Naruto’s study room. And I must say, there’s a lot of Uzumaki family photos. Boruto looked at those pictures carefully. There’s a new uzumaki family pic (Naruto carrying Himawa over his shoulders, while Hinata and Boruto walking). The second one, I forgot. The third one is this: 

Then… On Naruto’s table, I saw a NH picture (yes, only the two them.) Hope my eyes were not fooling me. Haha. 

Now let’s go to the chunin exams. 

This is the official sub of what Hinata said to Naruto “What’s wrong, dear?" 

And to clear things up, Boruto did not cheat in the first level of the exams (sai’s exam). 

After the second test, Boruto entered his house. Himawari congratulated him.
The Boruto said don’t worry about the dinner. Then, there’s a zoom in shot of Hinata looking worried. 

Nowww… Let’s go to the Momoshiki attack. 

The scene were Sakura crushed a roof or something…. It’s epic
After this scene: 

The camera zoomed in to Hinata and she said ”Naruto-Kun.“ (freaking worried face here). 

Andddd now after the attack, these are the exact dialogues. 

Himawari: Mama 

Boruto: Himawari and mom! (then he searched for them) 

Himawari: Can you recognize me? 

Sakura: Hinata! 

Hinata:*she finally woke up and looked at Hima and Boru* 

Sakura: She fought alongside Naruto. She tried to bring Naruto back. 

Boruto:*he ran* 

At the Hokage’s office: 

My favorite quote from Sauce. 

Sasuke: You made your sister cry, your mom was hurt, and you lose your dad….. Without your sister and mother, you are the same as Naruto before.


Sakura assisted Hinata to walk towards Boruto. Just like this: 

Yes, a SakuHina moment haha. 

Hinata said "Boruto,…. Boruto…. Boruto!" 

Then we saw Sarada looking at Hinata. (she knew that Hinata was worried)
Then these moments happened:
In the end, Hinata said "Please take care of your dad." 

In the Uzumaki family scene, here’s what happened: 

Himawari: Tou-chan, your lunch box
Naruto: Thank you Himawari
Hinata: Good grief. Boruto also forgot his!
Then they all laugh. (This is my fave scene)

In the credits.
Hinata’s name was below Naruto’s name.

Final verdict: 7.8/10

To tell you the truth, I’m hard to please. I always look at the story rather than the action. But I must admit, the final fight was amazing. The animation was superb.  

But I thought, the build up of the story was slow during the first part of the film. The movie also raised a lot of questions. You’ll crave for more. In my language, we call it "bitin." 

In terms of the story, I thought it was nice and heart-warming (esp. The scenes with the uzumaki family) 

And….. I must say… Himawari was very cute in this film. I demand a Himawari film now. 

For me, this film is the second best Naruto movie. The Last is still on top. I’m not biased because I’m NH shipper. I just felt that The Last is full of emotions. It will really give you a lot of feels. Don’t get me wrong, Boruto movie also gave me that feels, but it’s not the strong.

You can ask me if you want to

Note: Have to edit because of the pictures. 

Musings on Madam Secretary 1.01

Oh, Season 1. We meet again. I love Season 2, but there’s something so sweet and innocent about the first season of a show, specifically the pilot. Years of dreaming, planning, hoping and emotionally exhaustive work go into the first 42 minutes of episodic TV, and it shows. A good pilot is nearly flawless because it has to be. I can be a very stingy viewer. I usually give new shows one episode, maybe two if I’m feeling generous, before deciding if it earns a timer on my DVR. What drew me to even give Madam Secretary a chance? Two words: Téa Leoni. The billboards, the magazine ads, the TV spots, all featuring her front and center. I was a fan of Téa’s and can admit the casting is 98% of what put the show on my radar. What kept me around? The pilot… because that’s what pilots are supposed to do. What a wild, nearly 2-year ride it’s been.

Re-watching the pilot, there are several firsts that stick out:
1. The very first shot of the very first show was Syria. Times haven’t changed much, both in MS-ville and real life.
2. The first time we saw Elizabeth, her student called her “Doctor McCord.” I literally stopped. “Dr. McCord.” That name sounded so weird being directed at her because no one has referred to her as that since this moment in the pilot. If you say “Dr. McCord” now, I’m assuming you’re referring to Henry.
3. One of the first words out of Henry’s mouth in his very first scene was “Aquinas.” How prophetic.

“I’m so sorry. I thought we were telling each other our problems. No extension.” Those 14 little words were how Elizabeth McCord captured my cold, cynical heart. Snark from the start. My kind of woman. To watch the female Dr. McCord of old, the first thing I noticed was how carefree she was. (OK, it’s the second thing. The first thing was obviously her hair. Téa’s real hair. I miss that look.) Anywho, Elizabeth was all smiles, cracking jokes and relaxed without the weight of world peace on her perfectly tailored blazered shoulders.

As if I didn’t have a budding love affair with her from that scene, Dr. McCord walked into the library and found the other Dr. McCord holding court for students with faces that looked like the heart eye emoji. Elizabeth’s little smirk when she saw him sharing his passion for religion with his “cult following” was one of pure adoration. Then came the knee touch, the kiss, calling him “cute.” My favorite part: Elizabeth looking over her shoulder and smiling back at the students while they walked out of the library, arms wrapped around each other. “Peace out, girls. He’s mine,” is the vibe she gave off. It almost felt like she was claiming him, reminding the students that he’s hers, but the beauty of the McCord relationship is she doesn’t have to do that. The two are so solid in their relationship that Elizabeth doesn’t truly feel threatened by cute girls young enough to be their daughter. In fact, it’s almost an amusing game. All the players know what’s going on… except, possibly, for Henry. Bless that man. Cue the music swell, butterfly stomach and bubbling heart. I was smitten with the McCords right there. I wish we had more flashbacks of them working together at UVA, walking through campus arm-in-arm, eating lunch together, grading papers. Guess that’s what fanfic is for.

George, Isabelle, Juliet and “Bess” having dinner allowed us to see another side of Elizabeth McCord: former CIA operative. The group swapped war stories with the few who truly understood what CIA life entailed. When everyone else’s phones lit up like Christmas trees, Elizabeth didn’t seem to miss out on the excitement. “Well this can’t be good,” she deadpanned. Little did she know the turn her life would take because of those messages. Looking back at this dinner, knowing what would eventually happen to these four friends, I felt a bit melancholic. I wish we could have seen more of their friendship or how their comradery developed. I’d love for one of Elizabeth’s college friends to visit, someone who knew her before Henry. We could use a few more light moments like this spy dinner, offering insight into Elizabeth the person. As for Elizabeth herself, she could definitely use a friend. She has a fulfilling family life and overwhelming professional life, but the woman could stand a night out. I’m talking drinks, karaoke, heels and belly laughs.

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Olicity versus Lauriver....a surprising discovery

My first official post on my official tumblr page!! Every so often, I’ll post my ramblings….mostly so my husband doesn’t have to keep listening to me! Twelve years with me and he suggested a tumblr page lol

My current obsession is Arrow.  The writing, character development, action are all amazing.  I think Stephen Amell’s Oliver Queen is a revelation - quite possibly the best “tortured hero” I’ve seen since Batman (he’s the epitome for me). However, the real gem of the show is Emily Bett Rickards as Felicity Smoak.  I cannot get enough of her.

To be honest, when I started watching Arrow I fully anticipated to fall in love with Laurel & Oliver.  The basic reason is this - in any TV show there is one couple the writers set up in the pilot as “planned” endgame. Does it always work out that way in the end? No, but 80% of the time it does. When I get involved in a show, I trust the writers until proven wrong.  So, if they are telling me “this is the couple” I tend to believe them.  Across the board, I ship “Plan A” couples - Buffy/Angel, Derek/Meredith. Mary/Francis, Scott/Allison, Castle/Beckett, Booth/Brennan, Sam/Andy (Rookie Blue), Lucas/Peyton, Stefan/Elena, Harvey/Donna (Suits), Rachel/Mike (Suits), Mary/Matthew.  As long as the writing supports the “canon” and the writers show (not tell) me why this couple is meant to be, I’m basically on board.  With a few notable exception, which I’ll get to later.  My husband also let me know that Laurel would be “Black Canary” and in the comics she’s the Green Arrow’s go to gal.  Who I am to argue comic book cannon?

I like Katie Cassidy and I think she’s a fine actress.  I think she’s got quite a talent for playing the “bitch” but I was intrigued to see her playing the female/heroine lead.  Then I watched the pilot.  The fact that Oliver cheated on Laurel with HER SISTER which then lead to that sister’s death, quite frankly stunned me.  That’s one hell of a hoop those two have to jump through.  I’m mean, I’m all for couples overcoming obstacles…but seriously? He cheated on her? With her sister? And she died? And this is the FIRST thing we learn about the couple.  Still…Buffy & Angel basically had to be celibate so anything can happen I guess.

So, I hung on during the first season, desperately WANTING to fall in love with Lauriver.  To me, Episode 5 was their best “chemistry” when Oliver showed Laurel’s his scars.  Granted, it’s somewhat difficult to NOT have chemistry with Stephen Amell when all that’s required of the actress is to ogle him, but I digress.  It contained all the desire & tortured lovers I like to see in my ships.  But that was the high point for these two. 

Listen, chemistry is completely subjective. I can watch Damon & Elena have sex up against a wall and I feel absolutely no connection to their chemistry (yes, I know….the rest of the world disagrees).  All Oliver has to do is look at Felicity and I’m swooning.  So, take this as simply my humble opinion.  When Laurel & Oliver finally had sex in the season finale of 1x23 it was like watching two pieces of cardboard.  With Stephen Freaking Amell.  Shirtless.  So, yeah, I was nonplussed at that point.

I think the central issue with Oliver & Laurel is that for the majority of the season the primary emotions involved were 1) Anger & judgement from Laurel and 2) Guilt by Oliver.  Were these feelings justified? OF COURSE….especially by Laurel. I don’t begrudge her anger.  And Oliver should have felt guilt, if he was any kind of human being.  Yet, these aren’t the building blocks of an EPIC love story.  It certainly didn’t help matters that any “flashback” of Ollie & Laurel during S1 seemed to show Laurel pushing commitment from a hesitant Ollie.  S2 was worse - the only Lauriver flashback revealed Oliver had cheated on Laurel (AGAIN) & gotten a girl pregnant. It was essential in these flashbacks to show the EPIC part of Oliver & Laurel.  Instead, I saw two young kids who yes, loved each other, but were they really right for each other? It was an unanswered question in the flashbacks and therefore left us only with the present Laurel & Oliver.  Who were angry, guilty, awkward and quite frankly painful to watch.

That’s not to say that Laurel wasn’t a profound touchstone for Oliver on the island.  As he said in in 1x05 “ There were times when I wanted to die.  In the end….there was something I wanted more.”  His love for Laurel gave Oliver the will to live. Ollie wasn’t an evil person, but he was a selfish person.  I argue though that the love he carried for Laurel, albeit true, was the only touchstone he had to the life he’d left behind. The issue is, the Island and what it would do to him, would forever change him.  Making returning to that life - the life of “Ollie” virtually impossible.  Since Laurel is so intricately connected to that, it also made their “reunion” in the finale all that more difficult to stomach.  It felt like step backwards in Oliver’s progression in S1….two people desperate to change the past, but without recognizing how much each had really changed.  Yes, they loved each other, but the same question remains as it did when Oliver left on the Queen’s Gambit….were they right for each other?

Part of the reason, I consistently asked this question throughout S1 is because the writers, whether intentionally or not, presented TWO very EXCELLENT romantic alternatives for both of them.  For Laurel - it was Tommy.  Tommy was the Felicity to Laurel’s Oliver.  He had a lightness to him, a humor & joy, that brought out the lighter side of Laurel.  Often, the only time LAUREL smiled was when she was with Tommy. In turn, she ignited in him a desire for independence from his father and to simply be a better man.  That’s a love story I can get behind.  It’s too bad that Laurel, continually conflicted by her feelings for Oliver (and hamstrung with the writers NEED to make Lauriver happen) failed to see that Tommy was probably the right guy all along….until it was too late.

For Oliver….it was of course, the delightful Felicity Smoak.  I like my tortured heroes - A LOT.  Vampires, vigilantes, tortured writers…whatever.  Give me a guy in pain, but with a desire to do good and I’m sold. Arrow excelled at that in the first season. They captured Oliver’s rage & pain in his need for revenge & the violence of his killing.  Yet, that side of him contrasted sharply against the man who wanted to better, to be more than “Ollie”….to be more than a man even.  In the midst of his vigilante killing his basic goal was to make the city better. That’s some heavy light & dark my friends.  A war was raging not only in the city, but in Oliver’s soul.  Great dramatic stuff.  

The issue was Oliver was almost too dark.  He was too tortured.  There was no levity, no light in him - except for the times he was faking it as “Ollie”.  He kept anyone he cared about at arms length to protect them, but it isolated him entirely.  Buffy The Vampire Slayer was a show known for it’s heavy themes.  One of my favorite quotes is when Buffy says “My life happens to on occasion suck beyond the telling of it.” It could be an intensely dark show.  Yet, the character of Buffy had a levity to her.  She could slay demons & vampires and make quippy remarks.  That IS NOT Oliver Queen. He is the proverbial example of stoic.  Often, showing little to no emotion at all.

When your lead isn’t allowed any real levity of their own it is left up the supporting characters to do it.  Oliver had Thea, Moira, Laurel, Tommy….all people who at one point or another told him what an awful person he was.  The problem was, Oliver didn’t need to be told that - he already believed it fundamentally.

When Felicity Smoak appeared on screen in 1x03 in was truly an exceptional scene. As a viewer, you just knew something special had happened, but you had no idea what.  Honestly, it was one of the first times Oliver was shot in a scene that was BATHED in light.  From her perky hello, to her babbling, right down to her soft pink shirt….Felicity was the warm against Oliver’s cold, so much so that she melted that exterior and for the first time ever….Oliver smiled.  

What we’ve seen from Oliver & Felicity from S1 & S2, is that yes…she is the levity in the dramatic.  Often the comic relief, the one person that can make Oliver smile or laugh in any circumstance.   However, she's intelligent, with a strong sense of self.  Oliver can be quite the bully when he wants to be and nobody puts him in his place better than Felicity Smoak.

One thing that truly swayed me to the Olicity camp was that Felicity could always see the hero that Oliver/The Hood was…even in S1, when being a hero was the farthest thing from him mind.  She challenged him that he could do real good in the city in S1 and was the first person on the show to call him a hero when she told Detective Lance “But, it seems to me he’s willing to sacrifice an awful lot to help the people of city. That kind of makes him a hero, doesn’t it?”  In S2 she never strayed from that belief. Dragging Oliver back (with Diggle of course) from the island, telling he has to “find another way”.  Her belief in him never faltered, even when his belief in himself did. It was her belief in him, her demand that he honor the dead by fighting, that ultimately spurred him onto his victory against Slade.  Maybe on the island Laurel gave Oliver the will to live. But it’s Felicity that’s shown him HOW to live.

In contrast, Laurel & her opinion of “the Hood” and Oliver, was simply too confusing to keep up with.  In the early stages of S1, Laurel was the vigilante’s champion and partner.  Yet, in later episodes she called him a murderer with “no remorse”.  Finally culminating in her need to blame the vigilante for Tommy’s death.  Yes, Felicity had the upper hand because Oliver was truthful about who he was.  Maybe he did that because he knew he’d find acceptance there.  If we are to believe that Lauriver is the epic romance of the show….shouldn’t Laurel be able to see Oliver for who he is? Even if he’s keeping her at arms length? I’m not trying to lay the blame entirely at Laurel’s feet, but as a viewer you are rooting for Oliver.  You would expect that the supposed love of his life would be doing the same - but sadly she didn’t.  When I ship a couple, I want them to believe in one another, to be each other’s champions….even when they are apart.  That’s where the Lauriver history really works against them. The hurt is so bad, so painful….that it's difficult for Laurel to see past it.  

When she finally does see the change in Oliver at the end of S1 it comes at the price of betraying Tommy.  Even when these two make moves in the right direction, they are immediately slapped down in anger, loss, pain, betrayal.  It’s why their “break up” in episode 2x1 was so honest. They finally recognized that while they loved each other, the stronger motivation for reuniting was a desire to go back, to undo the past.  Thus, they began two very different trajectories….Laurel’s alcoholic downward spiral and Oliver’s journey to becoming hero…with Felicity standing by him.

Oliver doesn’t pull Laurel out of her spiral. If anything, Oliver makes it all the harder by actively screwing Sara again (nice one Ollie).   Anytime, he did try to help her, it either backfired or continued to show Laurel in an unflattering light. In the end, Laurel pulls Laurel together.  The fact remains, that Laurel is a more interesting…more relatable , more sympathetic character, separate from Oliver.  

So, what are we the viewers left with? I call it the Pacey problem. Dawson’s Creek was one of the few shows where I didn’t ship the “Plan A” couple Joey & Dawson.  Yes, the show was built around their epic love in the pilot…yet more often than not Joey & Dawson brought out the worst in one another, too hamstrung by their past together to allow the other to grow into the person they needed to be.  Rather, it was Josh Jackson’s character Pacey that ignited the fire in Joey and the chemistry was off the charts. He challenged her and she made him a better person.  Kevin Williamson WISELY realized that soul mate doesn’t necessarily mean romantic partner (Are we paying attention Arrow writers?) The finale definitively answered that Dawson was Joey’s soul mate, but Pacey was the love of her life.  It takes a wise writer to realize that the place you started off in the pilot, the story you intended to tell, isn’t the one you ended up telling.  It’s called organic story telling.

To me, Laurel & Oliver aren’t the epic romance of Arrow.  We’re only in Season 3, but I am FAR more interested in seeing Laurel develop into the Black Canary.  The fact that Oliver had a romantic relationship with Sara, as the Black Canary, hopefully means that the writers checked off the comic canon box of Green Arrow + Black Canary = romance.  I hope that means Laurel can become the comic book heroine separate from romance with Oliver.  Or is Oliver meant to sleep with every incarnation of the character?  God I hope not.  I hope that the writers are wise and realize that canon, pilots and plans don’t make a tv show.  The characters do. Sometimes when you put pen to paper the story arrives in a completely different place than you intended, but the great writers don’t stand in the way of it. 

The bottom line, Felicity balances Oliver, challenges Oliver…she is the one who can harness the light that’s still inside him.    Oliver’s “I love you” to Felicity at the end of S2, (more on that some other time) was a ruse…but also a profound realization.  He loves her.  More than that - he NEEDS her to become the man, the hero he’s meant to be.  That’s not Laurel’s role anymore.  Laurel can have Oliver’s past.  Felicity can have his future.  The key for Laurel is that she has to love Oliver enough to let him go.  Only then, will she be able to become the person she’s meant to be.

Highlights from Gravity Falls Anniversary Stream

Some of my personal favorite quotes and highlights from the amazing Gravity Falls Anniversary Stream last night. Note: Some of these are from the chat, which was just as hilarious at times.

Warning: Long post is long!


Weakness: Ungnome

Lazy Susan is just a genderwapped Toby Determined

(Dipper anxiety noises through most of the end of Tourist Trapped)

*computer voice* Loading: Rainbow Swirls

*computer voice* Gravitational anomaly, fucking shit up

Uh, kids, gotta tell ya’ something…eh….Ihaveabrother *walks away*

That’s MY popsicle you son of a bitch!

The repeated use and repetition of the “We have to kill him/her/them….We have to KILL him/her/them.

*Dippy Fresh voice* Hey Disney, eat a weiner! Hey Disney, eat a d-d-DICK!

Soos, die.

Play Megalovania while I yodel.

His tag is Tag

(about Robbie) Yeah, I guess you could say he got a RUNNING start.


*computer voice* Anomaly in progress, hang onto your hats.

Get in there Racoon Wife! I married ya’ to spite my mother!

(Stream Dissapears on me for a minute, and I come back to this: Now, don’t look for his porn Dipper.

Maybe he’s just taking a really long shit!

Wait! I can swear for real!…SON OF A GUN!

Chat: Ungnomed Grifter at Large

*computer voice* 13 minutes until Hot Pockets….Oop, there goes gravity.

Blubbs: We were in the closet!

*computer voice* Portal to snackland open…5 ½ minutes, and there will be cake. 1 minute until sexy time. Playing Darude’s Sandstorm. I think the timer’s broken. Friendship shattered…Shit successfully fucked up…meme loading

I can’t believe the totem pole is fucking dead.

This is Sandra Mermando.

The repeated use of ant/boot related jokes

Yay, Walmart!

I heard BDSM dungeon, and that’s the only important part.

Moshi Moshi, old man desu.

I hope everyone likes the sweaters. I made them from the hair of my pig!

Together, we’re gonna kill that Bill! (Ha ha, that’s a movie reference!)

I’ll never join you, no matter how much you kinkshame me!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Mutants!

Not the kazoo, you can’t!

Kazoo players are dirty, and they cheat!

Ok, if we die from the impact-…


It’s a friendship circle, and it’s magic.

Hey Stan, youre the last symbol, dipshit (The best part of that , is that line was Soos)

Chat: Spongebob Pines

What happens when lil Gideon cries? (No one gives a shit!)

That was so soon it hasn’t even happened!

*PopelickVA disappears from the stream* I can’t believe Grunkle Ford is fucking dead.

Doodtube Channell

Bipper and Dill

*Rugrats theme on the kazoo*

Yes, cooldude618 is mine!

Sexy NPR Bill

Don’t you nerds know that Homestuck is over?

Ford, I’m freakin’ out! What’s a Homestuck?!

We are definitely stuck Stanley, but it’s not home (But it can be Ford! We can make it a home! You and me together!) Nope, there’s only one solution Stanley…I have to die.

But ultimately we decided to kill me, because I’m more useless.


Guess I was good for somethin’ after all, I killed Homestuck.

I’m still aliiive.

Was her name actually Jeannine?

Oink oink, I’m a pig. Wait, I can’t talk.

There’s a lot of noodles there, wow.


I’m so hip, I’m Hilary Clinton!

Here’s the plan, it’s boats! (Boats?) Boats! What’s that on the roof? (Is it a boat?)

Hug, don’t punch: the moral of the series.

*tearfully* You can go eat a dick, Grunkle Stan!

Ready for this fuckery to end?

Welp, I’ve moved in, time to throw a stag party!

I know we’ll meet again, very briefly at the end of the credits.

Every single instance they made use of the kazoo.

I think that was pretty much everything, but man, that was the best stream ever! Here’s hoping to more Real Time Fandubs!


For those who are wondering, I’m going to explain why there’s been so much upset over the sticker SJ released along with this last Bleach chapter, as well as share some of my own thoughts and questions about the ending. This is gonna be long, and I’m gonna touch on problems with the ending as a whole as well as some of the ship issues.
Rest assured there is no ship bashing, as those who have been following a while know is not my way.

The top image is the sticker that was sold a day before Bleach 686 in this week’s Weekly Shonen Jump. The middle image is the original chapter 460 color spread that the sticker comes from. Notice how in the original, Rukia is BEHIND Ichigo. They’re standing back-to-back, contrasting swords drawn, and even their expressions contrast; Ichigo looking stern and Rukia appearing almost amused by something.
But for the sticker, the image was edited to put Rukia in front of Ichigo, their faces only inches apart. Rukia is clearly MUCH shorter than Ichigo, yet in the sticker the top of her head is only a few inches below his. They’re intimately close, a representation of their relationship as a whole.

IchiRuki has a large fanbase, and their bond as a whole is a running theme of the story. Even no shippers, a lot of them, were expecting them to be together in the end. The fact that SJ pushed artwork of them for the end made us even more certain, and for it to not happen has us feeling cheated and lied to.

For the war to end so suddenly, without the tag team that Urahara had alluded to, for this war to just be over with a quick cut to Rukia becoming captain and then a chapter showing the canon families, it’s too abrupt and too disjointed. There’s no satisfactory feeling. It’s more like a cutaway right in the middle of a fight to see what else is going on and draw out the anticipation for that final blow. But this is the end. There won’t be a final blow because it’s already happened. There won’t be any cool down period, no shouts of victory, no sighs of relief that it’s finally over. No time taken to mourn those who have been lost, to rebuild what was broken, to see how everyone is doing after walking away from this epic last arc of a fifteen-year story.

Yes, people who ship IchiRuki are pissed. We’ve been spoon fed Ichigo and Rukia’s bond, their feelings toward one another, how tightly bound they are, from the first chapter. We’ve spent just as long as the other ship fandoms believing and hoping that the two would end the war together, end the series together, just as they hard started it. We’ve analyzed the poetry and the dramatic moments over and over, catching every sign that was there, every small nuance Kubo included to hint at their growing feelings and their destiny together, every time he bonded them even more tightly together.
As I said above a running theme is Rukia and Ichigo’s relationship, how it grows and changes, how they grow and change as a result. How they push one another and fight for each other. How each goodbye is heart wrenching, how each hello is said as if the time apart never happened. If Kubo had wanted to keep the bond explicitly platonic, he could have done so, and he did not. The “more than friends, less than lovers” quote is utterly moot as it is old, and hardly ever translated and interpreted properly, and afterward Kubo himself has given strong focus to IchiRuki in the manga, in the films, and in interviews. The sting only deepens with every new tweet and post of nonshippers adding their voice to the calamity, wondering how and why IchiRuki didn’t happen, wondering why IchiRuki was used to advertise the end when they didn’t become canon.

We shippers are heart broken and confused, and the last thing we deserve is this parading from the fandom minority somehow satisfied with this ending and all this parroting of “I told you so” when even the manga publisher is STILL pushing IchiRuki. Why weren’t there stickers made for the canon pairings, or even the kids? Why not just the characters individually? Why take an old color spread and edit it? Ichigo and Rukia are the main characters, so making merch of them made sense. What didn’t make sense was creating a sticker with such intimacy in it. What didn’t make sense was using panels from such an emotional goodbye scene, (image three) one of the most celebrated IchiRuki moments.

If IchiRuki wasn’t meant to become romantic, why is there only the last chapter and color spread to say so? Why spend so much time and effort on a ship that’s not canon, why romanticize the bond with clearly romantic narrative and artwork? Why release a sticker of what a just so happens to be the most popular ship in the series, edited from old artwork to be even more “shippy”, using a fandom favorite moment in advertising, all to come out the other side separated?

Something got lost along the way. Something fell through, and the last few chapters feel like a patch slapped over in an attempt to keep it out of sight, because there wasn’t time to fix it.

Bonus Tracks

I asked you to submit favorite moments & lyrics from 1989; what came in is collected below. 

One of the most memorable weekends in my life was spent at a lavish New York City hotel with a group of incredibly funny and clever ladies. It was Halloween, and one of my best friends’ birthdays, and 1989 had just come out. I’ll never do the pen-click gesture in Blank Space without thinking of Hannah spotting a cute boy we would later invite to our hotel across a crowd in Times Square. I’ll never sing “Are we out of the woods yet?” without thinking of Kaity’s Little Red Riding Hood costume and her mischievous, wolfish smile. I’ll never Shake It Off without tasting strong, sugary drinks in a hotel room sprinkled with The Little Mermaid confetti. There’s a sort of magic, of empowerment, that 1989 carries like no other album I’ve ever listened to: the sense that even though mine and Taylor’s experiences aren’t the same, we’ve felt the same things, and thought the same thoughts, and even dreamed the same dreams.


Blank Space

I mostly love everything on 1989. I don’t think I loved “Welcome to New York” on the first listen. However, by the 3rd listen I had already had a mild breakdown and was dancing around my room in nothing but an old X-Large t-shirt from my Washington D.C field trip and underwear that was probably too expensive that I shouldn’t have bought.

That was a very important moment for me.

I’ve experienced many important moments with Taylor Swift over the years.

One of those moments involves both of us attending the same paramore show. One of those moments involves me alone in my room remembering a boy who never wanted me to meet his parents. One time I was driving home from my friend’s high school graduation party and “Long Live” came on shuffle and I had to pull into a nearby park and just like, compose myself enough so I could drive home. Many nights my junior year were spent drunkenly walking towards the bars uptown singing “22” and telling my friends that “we would be friends forever.”

This past fall, some friends and myself were jam packed into a tiny Honda driving back from a post hangover brunch and “Blank Space” came on and every single one of us sung along to every, single, word. It was an amazing, beautiful, and wonderful moment. I hope each of you experience a post brunch sing-along to at least one song from 1989.



When in doubt, quote Taylor Swift. If desperate, go with We never go out of style.

Style is my favorite song from 1989 because it’s where Taylor got the messiness and complications of an adult relationship right: Midnight, no headlights, just pure lust and an invitation to get lost, because there’s someone else we are royally screwing up by being together, here, right now.

“I know exactly where it leads but I”…

Can’t help it. She knows there’s someone with a more permanent place on that heart/bed. Taylor ask about her very politely. The answer is nuanced but it is also an explanation.

“What you’ve heard is true but I can’t stop thinking about you and I"…

It takes a big dose of carelessness to acknowledge that, yes, that person is taken but you have been feeling this way, you are not proud of it, but… just. can’t. help. it.

Style is the chronicle of a hedonistic frenzy with a semi-apocalyptic tone (burning flames or paradise, anyone?). It is unabashedly a cheater’s song from people who know perfectly well they are doing something forbidden as part of a previously complicated story neither of them can really just walk away from. Taylor lists arguments so flimsy we can all fit the description of the red lipped-home-wrecking-beauty that’s crashing down but keeps coming back for more.

This is a situation where everybody loses and yet, it makes perfect sense in the moment.

Until it does not. And it’s tearing you apart. And you just scream.

Take me home.

-Jan de la Rosa

The first song I heard on 1989 was ‘Style’ - the album had dropped the night before, and my sister had bought it. She said, “Taylor Swift has a new album, and I think you’ll like this song.” Of course, I told her. Even when I don’t like Taylor’s music, I do.

"It’s been a while since I have even heard from you,” crashed into me, and then “I should just tell you to leave, ‘cause I know exactly where it leads,” and then that part where he tells her he can’t get her out of his head and she says “I’ve been there, too, a few times.”  Because all the midnights and 2 AMs and wishing and wanting and waiting (and not waiting - and going on and making something and being something in defiance of the paralysis of need), I’ve been there, too. More than a few times. I know where it leads, to empty spaces and unexplained silences and the person you’ll come back to, every time, going out and about with other girls. But now I can look across a room and see someone else mouthing lyrics with me, and suddenly, I don’t feel so alone in the space that is both burning flames and paradise.

“T-Swizzle needs to stop writing songs about my life,” I told my sister, when the track ended. But I really hope she doesn’t.


Out of the Woods

Out of the Woods is a super important song to me, but it’s hard to pick one favourite moment. The thudding drums, the consciously cinematic imagery, Taylor’s voice sighing over each vivid detail: it’s everything together which makes it so immersive.

There are some nights, the kind where everything churning inside you is barely under control and you lie alone, completely motionless and feeling like you could tear down the sky, where I believe I could spend hours listening to just the first line of the chorus looping over and over, “are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet”. Will we ever be?

The song captures not only the helpless conviction that there’s no way out when things get tough, but also the hope that follows when the nightmare dissolves and you can breathe easy, just like that: But the monsters turned out to be just trees, and when the sun came up you were looking at me. Listening to Taylor Swift fills me with the warm conviction that you have to piece together your own story, and you might as well place yourself at the centre of it.  


Wildest Dreams

Wildest dreams is so haunting, and my favorite song on the album. It’s such an intimate peak into her life and makes me feel like her guard was down so much when she wrote it. She can be a private person when it comes to her sex and love life (as she should be if that’s what she wants) but this song is her giving us a peak into her private moments “his clothes are in my room.” I picture her longing for her lover, mourning, and then finally letting go, thinking that as long as he remembers her this way, she will be satisfied.


This Love

One of my favourite moments from 1989 is in the first verse of ‘This Love’: “And I could go on and on, on and on/And I will.” I think this whole song tends to be overlooked because I guess, socially, it is kind of an outcast, but I think it ties in so many of the themes and motifs found in more obvious favourites like ‘Style’ and ‘I Know Places’ and ‘Clean’ in a really interesting way. I guess with this particular lyric, it has this sort of conversational irony (in a similar sense as “I’ve been there too a few times” from ‘Style’) where with “And I will” she’s showing us that the very act of writing this song is her going “on and on.”I feel like ‘This Love’ is the sadder aftermath of ‘Style,’ because both narratives go completely blame-free and are never properly resolved. I prefer ‘Style’ for sure, but then again, I prefer ‘Style’ over All Songs Ever. I don’t expect it to be in everyone’s top 5, but it’s a beautiful song that makes lots of connections between a few of the album’s most striking motifs and metaphors, (“In losing grip on sinking ships”) and musically speaking, it bridges the gap between the sound of Redand 1989 really nicely. And I think this moment, in particular, manages to be both self-aware about and defensive of the doubled edged sword that her songwriting has become.



I eagerly awaited the release of 1989 because I knew there would songs on there to help me through every crappy emotion I’d been having (and even some to help me through emotions that I wasn’t currently having, but might have someday). I’d been dumped, my mental health was suffering, and I’d just moved back to New York. When the CD arrived three days after it was released, I sat on my bed carefully unwrapping the packaging, and spread out all the polaroids in front of me as I began to listen. “Welcome to New York” was certainly relevant, “Blank Space” was a classic Taylor-style “fuck you,” and “Shake It Off” was what I desperately needed to remind myself every day. But it was “Clean,” the last track, that really got me. Every day I was dragging around thoughts of what could have been with my ex, wondering what I did wrong and how I could have been better. Coincidentally, Imogen Heap had been a mutual favorite of ours. When I recognized her voice harmonizing with Taylor’s, singing, “And by morning gone was any trace of you / I think I am finally clean,” it was a sweet release. In that moment I realized what I had refused to believe before – that others had felt this pain and others had moved on. Taylor has been with me through every important moment in my life, and just because I’m about to graduate college doesn’t mean that this one was any different.


I remember, precisely, the moment I first heard ‘Clean’, kneeling on the carpet of my friend’s room on the morning that 1989 came out, hunched over my phone, crying soundlessly, wordlessly, tears running down almost without me noticing them, as tswift  took out the twisted pieces of my tired heart and breathed on them, a little warm huff of air, and then put them back inside my shaking rib cage because Jesus Christ ‘when I was drowning, that’s when I could finally breathe’ and maybe it sounds cliché but I swear to god it’s true. Or at least it’s true for me because god these have been such hard years, such very hard years, full of blood and shaking hands and sitting alone in bathrooms and racing heartbeats and those sad secret razor blades I’ve been carrying around but never talking about and I’ve never drowned but I think maybe I know what it feels like. And I don’t know if I’m at the end yet, whether I’m clean, but I do know that when you fall to pieces, when you spend years of your life screaming silently at the top of your voice, you do learn things, and you do find things, and you do start to leave behind everything that doesn’t really truly matter and I’ve spent four years leaving instead of being left and I do think it taught me how to breathe a little, maybe? I feel like it did anyway which comes to the same thing I suppose.



“History is written by the survivors. And I am surely that.” (Reign)

Wonderland is a world that looks like yours, but isn’t.  Nothing as it seems.  Everyone’s tricking you. The paranoia permeates.  There’s a rabbit hole you could just throw yourself into.  There’s a pretty bottle with a simple demand: drink me.  Believe.

It all sounds a lot like fame.

Swift stretches “land”, turning it into “laahnd”, making it cynical like the questions littered throughout.  No answers needed, she and her partner in crime were warned but got lost in it anyway.  It’s a teenage rebellion you actually experience in your twenties: you know what happens but you decide to fuck up anyway, there’s empowerment in knowing exactly where to go after hitting rock bottom.  Up.

“There are certain things in life where you know it’s a mistake but you don’t really know it’s a mistake because the only way to really know it’s a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say ‘yep, that was a mistake.” (How I Met Your Mother)

Failed recovery haunts the bridge.  "I reached for you but you were gone.”  She knew.  "I knew I had to go back home.“  It’s over.  "You searched the world for something that could make you feel like what we had.”  He tried.  “In the end, in wonderland, we both went mad.”  Too late.

But despite extensive damage, she’s still here, still present, because she’s documenting her calculated plunge into the abyss.  She lived to tell her own tale.

Wonderland is a declaration of independence disguised as a declaration of defeat.


New Romantics

My best friend passed away on Friday, and we have been always been crazy for Taylor. I’ve been listening to New Romantics on repeat as a balm to my soul. It’s a kind of a dark song but also very emotionally powerful and super fitting for what is going on with me right now.


upon listening through 1989, i was surprised that a bonus song on the deluxe version would be my favourite song, but then i heard new romantics and i fell in love. to get into specifics, the lines cos baby i could build a castle/ out of all the things they threw at me really hit home, for someone who has been bullied and has somehow managed to get all the way to university and love life when i used to be running home crying (we cry tears of mascara in the bathroom) it felt so uplifting and i love that other girls, feeling like me will also get that boost.


anonymous asked:

Oh I didn’t know you love Cersei ^^ what are your favorite Cersei quotes?

Yeah, Cersei has always been my favorite character !!!

  • When we were little, Jaime and I were so much alike that even our lord father could not tell us apart. Sometimes as a lark we would dress in each other’s clothes and spend a whole day each as the other. Yet even so, when Jaime was given his first sword, there was none for me.‘What do I get?’ I remember asking. We were so much alike, I could never understand why they treated us so differently. Jaime learned to fight with sword and lance and mace, while I was taught to smile and sing and please. He was heir to Casterly Rock, while I was to be sold to some stranger like a horse, to be ridden whenever my new owner liked, beaten whenever he liked, and cast aside in time for a younger filly. Jaime’s lot was to be glory and power, while mine was birth and moonblood. (ACOK, Sansa VI)
  • Tears are not a woman’s only weapon.You’ve got another one between your legs, and you’d best learn to use it. You’ll find men use their swords freely enough. Both kinds of swords.
  • For herself, she wanted sleet and ice, howling winds, thunder to shake the very stones of the Red Keep. She wanted a storm to match her rage. (AFFC, Cersei III)
  • The rule was hers; Cersei did not mean to give it up until Tommen came of age. I waited, so can he. I waited half my life. She had played the dutiful daughter, the blushing bride, the pliant wife. She had suffered Robert’s drunken groping, Jaime’s jealousy, Renly’s mockery, Varys with his titters, Stannis endlessly grinding his teeth. She had contended with Jon Arryn, Ned Stark, and her vile, treacherous, murderous dwarf brother, all the while promising herself that one day it would be her turn. If Margaery Tyrell thinks to cheat me of my hour in the sun, she had bloody well think again. (AFFC, Cersei V)
  • A woman’s life is nine parts mess to one part magic, you’ll learn that soon enough…and the parts that look like magic often turn out to be messiest of all. (ACOK, Sansa IV)
  • I shall wear this as a badge of honour. (AGOT, Eddard X)
  • And what of my wrath, Lord Stark ? (AGOT, Eddard XII)
  • Save your pity for yourself, Lord Stark. I want none of it. (AGOT, Eddard XII)
  • I am a lioness. I will not cringe for them.  (ADWD, Cersei II)
  • Love is poison. A sweet poison, yes, but it will kill you all the same. (ACOK, Sansa IV)
  • I am surrounded by enemies and imbeciles. (AFFC, Cersei VII)
  • A woman may weep but not a queen. ( (AFFC, Cersei III)
  • She dreamed she sat the Iron Throne, high above them all. (AFFC, Cersei)
  • Ten thousand of your children perished in my palm, your grace. Whilst you snored, I would lick your sons off my face and fingers one by one, all those pale sticky princes. You claimed your rights, my lord, but in the darkness I would eat your heirs. (AFFC, Cersei VII)
  • They would try to push her aside, as they always had. (AFFC, Cersei I)
  • I will teach them what it means to put a lion in a cage.  (AFFC, Cersei X)
  • You swore that you would always love me. It is not loving to make me beg. (AFFC, Jaime I)
  • The queen would have no masters at court beside herself. (AFFC, Cersei IV)
  • You will return to Lord Gyles and inform him that he does not have my leave to die. (AFFC, Cersei VIII)
  • You should have learned by now, none of us get the things we want. (ACOK, Sansa VIII)
  • “Does Your Grace find this amusing?” said Septa Scolera. “No, septa,” said Cersei. But one day I will have your tongue ripped out with hot pincers, and that will be hilarious. (ADWD, Cersei II)
  • Cersei gave them all the words that she had in her, gave them everything but tears. That they will never have, she told herself. (ADWD, Cersei I)
  • Should I scream and tear my hair ? They said Catelyn Stark had clawed her own face to bloody ribbons when the Freys slew her precious Robb. Would you like that, Father ? she wanted to ask him. Or would you want me to be strong ? Did you weep for your own father ? (AFFC, Cersei I)
  • Shorn, she thought, like a sheep. She yanked the shift over her head and tossed it to the floor. “Do what you will.” (ADWD, Cersei II)
  • She would not give them the pleasure of hearing her beg. I am Cersei of House Lannister, a lion of the Rock, the rightful queen of these Seven Kingdoms, trueborn daughter of Tywin Lannister. And hair grows back. (ADWD, Cersei II)
  • They think that this will break my pride, that it will make an end to me, but they are wrong. (ADWD, Cersei II)
  • She could not cry, she would not cry, the worms must never see her weep. (ADWD, Cersei II)
  • Cersei thought of all the King’s Hands that she had known through the years: Owen Merryweather, Jon Connington, Qarlton Chelsted, Jon Arryn, Eddard Stark, her brother Tyrion. And her father, Lord Tywin Lannister, her father most of all. All of them are burning now, she told herself, savoring the thought. They are dead and burning, every one, with all their plots and schemes and betrayals. It is my day now. It is my castle and my kingdom. (AFFC, Cersei III)
  • Men had been looking at her that way since her breasts began to bud. Because I was so beautiful, they said, but Jaime was beautiful as well, and they never looked at him that way. When she was small she would sometimes don her brother’s clothing as a lark. She was always startled by how differently men treated her when they thought that she was Jaime. (AFFC, Cersei IV)
  • Yes, thought Cersei Lannister. Oh, yes. (ADWD, Cersei II)