yes i call her that

Katie: so I call her my hero & then we kiss, yes?
Director: no, and it’s a joking ‘my hero’ in a light tone
Katie: cool so seductive it is
Katie: also, you sure you just want a hug-
Director: no Katie there is not going to be a kiss
Katie:
Director:
Katie:
Director:
Katie: that’s ok I can wait
Director: *bangs head against wall*

Writers: So, we’re ending the episode with Kara almost kissing Mon-El. We want that to kind of set the pace for next week. That means Katie…Katie?

Katie blinks, returning attention to room.


Katie: I’m sorry, I never listen when you’re talking about forced heteronormativity.

Writers freeze for a beat: Right…well, we’re gonna need you to kind of tone down the gay in the friendship scene with Kara because we’re having a hard time making karamel’s chemistry seem real.

Katie: Friendship scene? (flips through script) Don’t think I have one of those.

Writers: At the end, when you’re thanking Kara.

Katie: For risking her life to save mine and then carrying me out bridal style?

Writers: In a friendly way.

Katie: But I filled her office with flowers…

Writers: Yes, platonically

Katie: I tell her she’s more than a friend and basically called her my wife

Writers: I believe the line says family, we were thinking more like cousin

Katie: She says ‘Always.’ J K Rowling has immortalized that line as a declaration of undying love.

Writers begin to show exasperated bafflement.

 Writers: Look, Katie, just stick to the script with as much ‘no homo’ as possible

Katie: Right

Writers: Why are you winking?

Katie: I don’t know what you mean, this is just my face.

Writers: So we understand each other?

Katie: Oh yes, subliminal message received. You now have deniability.

Writers: What??! Katie, we’re serious. KATIE…

Originally posted by sweetcoffeelips

6

every westallen scene ever (122/?)

Sirius x Reader: Potter Plans

Warnings: no ?

Requested: Yes

A/N: I’M BAAAACK!! It’s the 2 month anniversary of this account and we’re a squad of 523… a number I never thought I’d reach let alone reach in 2 months so thank you my lovelies xx I thought I’d greet this 2 month hiatus return with a hella long imagine x so enjoy reading and send me imagine requests (i’m only answering ships every thurs) xx

“Sirius wins.” You announced, standing up from your leaning position on the wall.

“No way!” James protested, panting.

“I have an unfair advantage. You see these cheekbones? Aerodynamically suited for speed.” Sirius said, somehow he said it seriously. ‘Well those cheekbones are sharp’, you found yourself thinking.

You rolled your eyes and started walking around the sofa, spotting Lily as you did so. “Hey Lils.” You smiled.

“Hey, oh sit, I want to ask you something.”

You winked at James who was practically drooling over Lily and sat down. Eventually, you’d satisfactorily answered her question and you were free to go.

“How do you do it?” James asked immediately as you sat down.

“Well, you see, I bend my knees and let gravity pull me to my seat. It’s-”

“Shut up, you know what I mean.”

Remus had started sniggering at his friend’s stupidity. James shot Remus a threatening glare, stopping him immediately and went back to his book.

You giggled slightly and continued chatting, “Just talk to her like she’s a normal person.”

“I’ve been trying!” He groaned. In all the years you had known James, you’d never seen him act like this about a girl- ‘if only Sirius felt like this about me’ you thought.

Sirius came back from his shower shortly after, shooing Remus further over the sofa so he could sit in his favourite spot that, coincidentally, was next to you.

At around 11, you finally felt your eyes grow heavy and flutter shut, falling asleep next to Sirius.

Sirius admired you as you slept, unaware of his surroundings, he loved everything about you and you just seemed more beautiful lit by the fire: your eyelashes cast soft shadows over your cheekbones, your lips were slightly parted and your brows slightly furrowed.

And James watched as his best friend admired another, both so painfully obviously in love yet so blind to it.

You stirred slightly, breaking both boys reverie, Sirius shot up and announced he was going to bed. You waved him good night sleepily and was about to go to bed yourself when James pounced a question on you.

“Does Lily like me?”

“You know she does you twat. She just doesn’t want to give in, she has no reason to, you’re always available to her.”

James looked as though he was going to defend himself but thought better of it.

A familiar look spread across his tanned face and you straightened up, “Potter, I know that look, stop, no.”

“You like Sirius.” you spluttered from shock but James merely continued, “I like Lily. They like us back. We need to make them jealous.”

“Fuck off.” You whinged, not in the mood for a ‘Potter Plan’ as you and Eudaimonia called them.

“Nah, hear me out. We pretend to date, they get jealous and boom, love is in the air.” James looked at you triumphantly, the look not faltering when you glared back.

“Ew, gross, no. You’re like my brother.”

“Calm down, it’s not like I’d ever date you.”

“Doing great, dear.”

“You know what I mean.”

You paused, pondering the idea, and took a deep breath, “Until Friday.”

“Won’t take longer than 2 days.”

Keep reading

6

Jada Pinkett x Indyana Jones 💞

This post is late af but yesterday was one of my friend’s birthday (Happy Birthday Nicki!) and my chocolate cupcake, Jada, decided to accompany me to the turn up 😘 I say we cleaned up pretty well for two girls who usually don’t 😂

170320 arirang music access

Just some parts that I found interesting

Question: What’s your favorite drink and food?

Jae: my favorite drink….water? I kinda like some other soft drinks and stuff like that, but lately I’ve been trying to, you know, stay off that because it makes me jittery. I used to have a can before I go up on stage but then it makes me like super nervous so I’m trying to avoid that. As for my favorite food, since you [person who sent in the question] said you’re from Japan, I’m really craving ramen. You’re so lucky man. [bc the Japanese person can eat it frequently in japan]

[basically they were talking about obsessions]

Jae: I am currently O B S E S S E D, I am literally obsessed with 2k [basketball video game]. I can’t get off MyCareer [game option on 2k] to save my life. I find myself going late to band practice because of that. I find myself waking up late and staying up later because of that game. I will destroy anyone that comes at me, so…come at me.

[out of the 2 options, he has to pick which one he is more obsessed with]

1: music charts or my appearance

Jae: music charts. That’s what important man. Music.

2: if my girlfriend does not answer my call, I will call her again and again. Yes or no?

Jae: it’s been so long, I don’t know if I’ve changed. It’s been like SO long. Should we just do like, what it used to be like or what I think I would do now? [answer: what you would do now]. Oh okay. No. I used to. I remember like back in college like…[weird voice] I was crazy! It was just hard for me back then. Especially cause like, in college is that whole party scene and everyone’s always partying all the time. It’s like, if she doesn’t pick up her phone on Saturday night at like 1am, I’m just like…what’s going on? Driving me [weird voice] crazy. Makes me CRAZY! I’m just like a super insecure dude, man. I think that’s the thing. I’M UGLY OKAY! I know it! I know!

3: I like a girl who is obsessed with me [yes or no]

Jae: I like a girl who is obsessed with me. [changed his answer after thinking]. Actually, I would rather be the one obsessing. I can’t relate to that anymore because I don’t remember how it feels. My emotions are dead. Love isn’t real.

Question: do you have any inferiority complexes?

Jae: [before Bernard even finished the question] YES. I have a lot. My small eyes, my vocal ability, my long torso, [bernard: your long torso?] DON’T GET ME STARTED MAN! DON’T GET ME STARTED MAN! I’VE GOT A COMPLEX BRO!

Question: do you have any fans that stick out to you? Do you have any stalker fans?

Jae: I mean all of our fans stick out. And we don’t have any stalker fans. But we do have this one fan, he’s a guy, and he comes to our concerts and his lung capacity is crazy. Everyone’s screaming but you can just hear his tone. Everyone’s like “ahh oppa!” he’s like [deep loud voice] “oooOOOHHH!” We’re just like “dang boy okay!” But yeah he’s super cool man, he supports us hella good so we appreciate it.

  • Ino: Honey, have you already thought about how we're gonna call this little one? (rubbing her huge belly)
  • Sai: Yes. I'd like to call him Tofu.
  • Ino: What? You can't name your child after a food!
  • Naruto & Sasuke: Why not?
I’m Going To Be A Dad?!

Pairing: Dylan x Reader

Author: @ninja-stiles

Words: 2565

Authors Note: Here is the next part to my pregnancy series I’ve got going on. Thanks to @rememberstilinski @sarcasticallystilinski and @smutandahalf for looking at this and letting me know how it is. I hope you guys enjoy this, it was quite fun to write. Also, I got really excited writing the reveal. Don’t know why exactly.

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i bet when bts first started to see all those “daddy” comments on twitter, this shit happened

“ Jungkook: *posts selfie*

“Hi army! Have a wonderful day and make sure to stay warm”

Sexually frustrated 12 year old: DADDY 

Jungkook: *scrolls through comments* 

“Hi jungkook”

“I love you”

“DADDY”

Jungkook: wait hol up tf

*checks to see if what he saw was correct*

“wait why the fuck did she call me appa”

“did i accidentally impregnate someone”

“DO I HAVE A CHILD THAT I DO NOT KNOW OF”

“WAIT DID THAT ORANGE JUICE HAVE ALCOHOL DID I GET DRUNK AND FUCK SOMEBODY THROUGH THE INTERWEBS”

*jin walks in*

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE U SCREAMING ABOUT”

“i think i might have impregnated someone”

“WAIT TF U MEAN BY IMPREGNATE”

“I POSTED A SELFIE AND SOMEONE CALLED ME DADDY”

“TF U DUMB ASS BITCH SHE DIDNT CALL YOU DADDY!”

“WAIT WHAT U MEAN”

“SHE OBVIOUSLY IS TRYING TO LOOK FOR HER LOST APPA AND IS TRYING TO SPREAD THE WORD THROUGH THE INTERNET ON OUR POPULAR PAGE, DUH U DUMBASS”

“OH MY GOD! JIN HYUNG YOUR A GENIUS! WE SHOULD HELP HER OUT”

“I KNOW BITCH, YES YOU SHOULD CALL THE POLICE WE SHOULD HELP HER OUT”

*JIMIN BARGES IN*

“BITCHES I HEARD EVERYTHING LETS HELP THIS ARMY FIND HER APPA”

*TAEHYUNG COMES OUT FROM BATHROOM HALF NAKED*

“BITCHES LETS DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR OTHERS FOR ONCE, LETS HELP THIS GIRL OUT”

“HELLO? YES, THIS IS JUNGKOOK…..NO NOT JOHN COOK…. I LIVE IN KORYA, SOMEONE FROM AMERICA, uh yes…i also go by international play boy….SOMEONE LOST THEIR APPA…uh. I MEAN DADDY!”

*hoseok comes in*

“WHY TF ARE U CALLING THE POLICE DID NAMJOON DOWNLOAD ILLEGAL PORN VIDEOS AGAIN!”

*yoongi*

“well, someone commented daddy on jungkooks selfie and now seokjin somehow made the master plan that the girls actual father got lost and she is trying to find him”

Hoseok: WAIT did you say “daddy”, NAMJOONIE HYUNG GETS THAT TOO! MANY TIME, DID EVERYONE’S DAD GET LOST!

taehyung: no wonder why my dad hasnt been calling me

“GUYS WE SHOULD TELL NAMJOON HYUNG”

“IVE BEEN OVERHEARING  YOUR ENTIRE CONVERSATION, YOU GUYS ARE THE DEFINITION OF A DUMBASS, DADDY IS WHAT KINKY OVER SEXUALIZED ARMYS CALL US, IT BASICALLY MEANS THEY WANNA FUCK YOU, OKAY!KJDSJDIH OR YOU JUST LOOK SEX MATERIAL, WHATEVER ,DONT ASK ME HOW I KNOW”

“sorry to ruin your childhood jungkook, no more innocent selfie posting”

Jungkook: *jumps off cliff*

“I JUST WANTED TO POST A FUCKING SELFIE”

4

“Why would you ever choose a career where this was an occupational hazard?”

“Well… I tried to quit, but some jackass told me I needed a purpose”

Week 1 - Witchsona: The Word Witch

I’m doing @modernwitchesdaily‘s witchy art challenge with @amethystcallingwoot woot! For week 1, this is my witchsona and her sentient familiar, my irl typewriter Alma (yes I named her she also has a brother called Fred. They are my children. Do not disparage them). I basically just drew myself and added a hat, but hey.

Firetruck

word count: 2270

a/n: this is a collab with @versigny and a couple other authors! also, this is my first time writing for another group, so please go on easy on me ( ´△`)

|| What starts with F and ends with Uck?

> Fratboy! Mark [NCT]

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by asilentkkaebsong

Y/N had never really been to a party, let alone one held at a mansion as expensive as this. There wasn’t as many people as she anticipated, but that wasn’t a problem at all. Whoever owned this house must’ve had some sort of trust fund – marble floors with columns holding up the second floor paired with an east and west wing.

How luxurious.

There was even an indoor – and heated – swimming pool in the back. Some people had gone to the back to drink and wade in the water. Y/N had been dragged to this party by her group of friends, but at the same time, she wanted to experience a nice house party at least once in her life.

It was obvious who ran this party – they all wore similar styles of clothing and everyone seemed to fawn over them. Y/N could only recognize a few, like the blond boy named Mark and his friend Johnny. It was rare to see the group of boys ever separate. The lights were dimmed and the music was loud, the crowd of people in the first floor just swaying and mingling. The signature red Solo cup was in almost everyone’s hands – everyone except Y/N.

Keep reading

Fanfiction - A Lifetime of Her (Part V)

Part V – “But we’re still sleeping like we’re lovers”

Twenty-six

I stood there, transfixed by the overwhelming feeling of her in my arms, unbelievingly real against the paleness of my tired memories. I didn’t know what had happened to her – clearly something had happened – but was only glad I had found her, right in the moment when my arms seemed to be so needed to hold her.

“Will ye tell me?” I murmured against her hair – fragrant like a freshly squeezed lemon, like a garden after pouring rain -, my hands rubbing her back in soothing circles. “What happened?”

“I will.” She tilted her chin, allowing our eyes to meet – hers were dry but glassy, as if her body was wrecked with fever. “I want to tell you.”

“Good.” I attempted a calming smile, but felt the muscles of my face stiff from concern. “Do ye want to sit down?”

“We can’t talk here.” Claire told me, finally stepping back, away from the comfort of my body – I felt the loss of her warmth as acutely as I would miss a limb. Phantom pain, permanent and excruciating, constructed by the mind to deal with unbearable loss. “This is Geillis place – she is a close friend – and she’ll be arriving shortly from work. I thought she had forgotten her keys when you knocked.”

“Ye can come to my house.” I offered, almost biting my tongue in eagerness. The image of Claire in my home - the tips of her fingers brushing the book spines in the shelf, her lips drinking from one of my glasses - a kiss shared through the marks we’d both leave there – made my heart swell to the point of bursting. “I mean, we can have a conversation there without being disturbed or interrupted.” I babbled, struggling to explain myself over a bout of flushing cheeks.

“Alright.” She nodded in agreement – trusting me implicitly. Naturally. “Let me just feed Adso and grab my coat.” The feline meowed in agreement and rubbed against Claire’s legs, sleek and charming, as if he had been waiting to be acknowledged.

We made our way through the pleasant streets of Edinburgh, headed towards my house, located just a few blocks away. We traded some words, but were mostly immersed in our thoughts – preparing what we would say and do, when we finally could expose ourselves in a safe haven. As we walked, we didn’t touch – not even our arms bumped into each other, in that casual way of shared movement. We were both consciously avoiding to touch, keeping a safe distance, even if acutely aware of each other.

“It isna a big house.” I apologized in a jumbled way as we entered my apartment, collecting unmatched socks and forgotten papers along the way.

“I love it!” Claire smiled in a reassuring way, admiring the big flat screen and black speakers. Her butterscotch eyes covered my pictures and books, the quilt thrown over the back of the sofa, the magazines and pamphlets I had sorted inside a little basket next to the bookcase. “I can tell you live here – it’s warm and alive. It’s a real home.”

I grinned in content – almost purring in satisfaction -, as she took off her coat. She wandered around, touching objects with a respectful hand and clicking her tongue in appreciation of my book collection. Eventually she talked again, her back turned to me.

“Where is your bedroom?” She asked in a rough voice, unhinged – and then, predicting my puzzlement, she added in a low and hesitant tone, as if talking to herself. “I haven’t been sleeping much – I didn’t want to close my eyes and let my mind roam freely. I can barely stand on my feet, to be honest. Besides,” Claire turned and glanced at me, fumbling again with her sleeves. “I think it would be easier to talk if we touched.”

“Aye.” I breathed deeply, walking towards my room. “Whatever ye need.”

I watched as she laid down on my bed, above the plaid that meant home to me – taking off her boots and socks in the process. Her movements were slow and calculated, as if she wished to cause minimal impact with her presence, so that I would carry on with my life after her departure. Claire rolled to her side, curled like an unborn child, safe and peaceful in the womb.

I came around the bed and managed to lay down – silent and precise as a thief in the night -, leaving an empty space between us, as I faced her. She seemed tired beyond her years and utterly broken.

Without a word she slid her hand to the middle of the bed, where I could reach out and touch it – I did so, softly playing with her fingers until she relaxed and our hands were entwined.

“Why are ye here?” I asked, my voice husky. Her face was a duality of shadows and bursts of light, coming from the window to dance on her features. “In Scotland?”

“I had to come.” Claire adjusted her face on the pillow, caressing the nail of my thumb with her fingers, her golden wedding ring cold like a fetch between us. “I couldn’t be in Boston right now – I needed time to think. This is the one place that has been home to me.”

“Are ye still married?” I risked, watching in anguish as she winced in pain. She sighed – but the movements of my hand in hers seemed to calm her enough to go on.

“Separated.” She licked her quivering bottom lip, avoiding my eyes. “It turns out Frank wasn’t the man I thought he was.  He wanted to own me.” Claire pursed her lips in anger. “And when he couldn’t own me, I wasn’t enough. Everyday became a war between us. A long and tiresome war.”

I gulped, taking in the shrapnel of her destruction. With a swift movement of my spare hand, I rolled up the sleeve of her sweater, revealing bruises the colour of mustard and moss, screaming against her marble white skin – marks of resentful fingers, forceful enough to break vessels and spirits. A lonely tear streamed down her cheek.

“He hurt ye!” I hissed furiously between clenched teeth, fighting the urge to maim the husband who had so recklessly broke the vow to protect her – to love her. She needed my restraint and I could offer it to her – not another display of bad temper by a man she had trusted. I hesitantly touched the bruises, wishing to erase them with kisses, to heal them with the adoration I would bestow upon her.

“I hurt him back.” Claire assured me, a look of shame crossing her face – as if I could pay witness to the degradations inflicted by both during their marriage. “He didn’t want me to leave. Frank said he still loves me.”

“Does he?” I asked with gentleness, battling the urge to ask her if she still loved him.

“I don’t know.” The tear track on her face glistened like a dry river, leaving thirst in its wake. “His love didn’t hurt like this, before.”

I wanted to ask her details on her failed marriage – her unhappiness was patent and unbearable – but restrained myself. She must have spent hours replaying the film of her derailed life, echoing words meant to harm – there was no cure to be found in saying them once more. I wished only to placate her pain – to take it all into myself, if I could. I longed to be the bringer of her smiles and not of her tears.

“I called ye.” I suddenly revealed, half embarrassed. “I waited too long – ye were gone by then. Maybe if I did…things would have been different.”

“Perhaps.” Claire agreed, haltingly. “But you were right – I shouldn’t have settled for less.”

I risked to brush her hair – silky and curly, so elementally Claire that took my breath away – and she closed her eyes in enjoyment of the intimate touch.

“What will ye do?” I asked, so afraid of the answer I could die. I wished for nothing more than to have her in my bed, lying so close to me as I memorized her, for the rest of my days. And yet I knew I had no guarantee of intimacy, of another conversation, of another touch – I savoured them all as a gift, for they were precious and not promised.

“I have to go back to Boston.” Claire explained, gripping my hand with strength. “I have a life there – a nursing job, medical school, friends and - .” She stopped, her eyes wide open.

Frank.” I swallowed hard, fighting against myself to offer her an encouraging smile. “Ye are still married to him.”

“Yes.” She closed her eyes, almost sobbing. I brought her hand closer to my mouth and kissed her knuckles.

“I won’t tell ye what to do – that is for ye to decide, mo nighean donn. But I need ye to know something, Claire.” I touched her chin with tenderness, urging her to open her eyes. “Ye alone hold all my heart – even before I knew yer name, ye meant light to me. I’ll wait for ye my whole live – and gladly so, even if it means that I’ll watch ye from afar, happy and fulfilled with another man, worthy of ye.”

“Jamie, I – “ Claire started, but I kissed her hand again and brought her against my chest, where my heart kept pounding, speaking enough to silence her.

“I’d rather ye dinna make promises ye may not wish to keep afterwards, when yer heart is less sore. When – if - ye mean them, I’ll be here.” I pleaded, staring into her eyes – she held my gaze for a while and nodded back. “Rest now, mo nighean donn. Let me watch over ye as ye sleep. Let me see ye safe.”

“I’m always safe with you.” She whispered.

I cherished her and held her hand until she fell asleep – finding new reasons to love her while she dreamt. She felt safe and protected with me – and, for that moment, it was enough.

Even when night came and we were left in complete darkness, I listened to her breathing, absorbing the symphony of the lover I craved. Once in a while I closed my eyes, making sure I could remember her perfectly – opening them again to correct a small detail, to drink another drop of her, afraid I would forget. Tormented I wouldn’t.

In the wee hours of night, I fought against sleep. I felt raw and tender, heart and body aching, calling me irresistibly to slumber.

I must have surrendered at some point. I had the vague recollection of a chaste kiss against my lips – timid, yet burning.

In the morning, she was gone.