yes i am making this joke again

sherlock series 4 episode 4

firstly me: no, they fucked up so much its not possible to make things right

then me: *reads theories* yes!!! its fucking real, so real, you’re right people!

me: but what if… *hopes while giving up hopes*

once again me: its so possible, everything is so shitty, too many questions, the apple tree yard premiere is not fitting… there must be 4th episode

and then theres me today: its so possible, and so impossible, it could happen but also can not…what am i doin with my life, im such a mess *starts collecting tissues and preparing shock blankets for ATY*

Secrets and Shields

PARING: reader and steve rogers 

WORD COUNT: 1.8k

WARNINGS: bit of fluff aka Steve being an awkward muffin! 

Requested by Anon: Hello dear :) Can you do an imagine with Captain Rogers where you work for SHIELD and are responsible for the functionality of the Avenger’s Equipment. So it happens that Steve sometimes damages his shield on purpose just to get it to you so that he can see you. One day while he Comes again to you to have it repaired you make a joke like ‘you surely just come to see me’ and Steve gets all flustered and cute and you realise you said the truth. Then he finally asks you on a date and you say yes?:)

I am sorry this has taken me so long! I had writes block for the longest time then I started on Courage and Kindness and I kinda put my requests on the back burner I guess. But I haven’t forgotten any of them that are still in my inbox! I promise! I’m just really bad at getting to them atm. Life keeps on getting in the way a bit. but anyway. I hope you enjoy x

GIF NOT MINE

Originally posted by stveerogers

You never knew that taking wood-shop and auto mechanics in High School would land you one of the coolest jobs in the world. If the kids you went to school with could see you now. Handing Hawkeye his new and improved arrows as Iron Man stood behind you. Practically jumping up and down in excitement.

“What did you guys do?” Clint eyed you cautiously as you rolled your eyes.

“It’s not like they’re going to explode Barton”

“Well while they’re not in motion” Tony added. Clint really did look worried now.

“What do you mean not in motion?” He held the quiver out at arms length. You chuckled inwardly at his awkward stance.

Keep reading

COFFEE SHOP AU BARISTA ENJ QUOTES PROBABLY SAID TO R PROBABLY

“Fucks sake, you again”

“No we cannot put your cheap ass whiskey in your coffee. Do it yourself, lazy fuck.”

“Yes, Your voice is nice now cash or credit?”

“My name is Enjolras. Not Apollo. I am not an narcissistic asshat, so please don’t make the comparison.”

“If you keep calling me Apollo for my looks, I’m calling you Dionysus for your drinking problem”

“The boiling temperature and lack of sugar and creamer in your coffee is inhuman and most likely unhealthy, but I’m being paid to make it how you request, so here you go.“

I was called out and I apologize.

Someone left a pretty nasty note on a post of mine (which I’ve deleted) about Jake Guentzel and his concussion.

Yes, I realize how bad a concussion can be, I played hockey for 12 years.
Yes, I know what that looks like (I’ve been hit hard, I was a goaltender, I’ve had my fair share of concussions.)
No, I’m not just some “Check, Please” fan making a joke at someone’s expense and I am sorry if I came across that way. I truly didn’t mean to make anyone upset.

Again, I deleted the post and I am really sorry for making it in the first place. I am concerned for Jake and I really hope he is okay after that hit.

Simon makes terrible jokes
  • BAZ: Simon why do you have so many red pens?
  • SIMON: You haven't gone out and fed in a while...
  • BAZ: But why would you need red pens too help me with that?
  • SIMON: They help me draw blood, I can give it too you later-
  • BAZ: Simon did, DID YOU BUY ALL THESE RED PENS TO MAKE A JOKE?!
  • SIMON: *laughing* yes, and I'd do it again.

Okay I know the biggest joke in the OW fandom is Genji’s “I need healing” and I laugh at it all the time.

BUT.

It became a meme because of how much it pisses off healers when you spam for heals. So when you ask me, a Mercy main, whether that annoys me and I answer that YES it DOES…. That does not mean you should be a little shit and start spamming for heals just because you know it irritates me!

Literally all that does is tilt me and make my job harder. That is honestly the FASTEST way for you to get me to unfriend you/tell Blizzard to avoid pairing me with you again. You’re not being funny - you’re being an asshole. Keep the “I need healing” jokes out of the game, I AM BEGGING YOU.

Originally posted by what-a-jackask

  • Grim: I am the night!!
  • Fey: Hi Bruce... wait, does this make me Clark?
  • Grim: Nah. Hi Barbara. *pats Fey's head and leaves*
  • *beat*
  • Fey: OH MY GOD *starts laughing* THAT - THAT IS A TERRIBLE JOKE
  • Grim: ...Why is it a - OH *laughing* I just meant because of other things... not because you... *snickers* I forgot again.
  • Fey: *still laughing* YES YOU DID
  • (Context for those that don't know; Roommate Fey is disabled and owns/uses a wheelchair)