yes i am in one of these proud mom days

ragefulthief  asked:

Question for everyone - What is the funniest thing you've seen your child do/say?

Alright, so when Max was about four or five, he didn’t know the difference between a boa snake and a boa that people used as an accessory. He knew what a boa constrictor was, thanks to a trip to the zoo my dad took him on. Anyway, so later I’m just taking things out of my closet that I don’t need anymore, when Max comes in and sees my old boa. He goes over and asks, ‘mom what is that? So thinking nothing of it I just go, ‘oh it’s a boa’ and he says…’Why is the snake furry?’ I was so confused, and then he said ‘ the one at the zoo wasn’t so why is this one furry? And why was it in your closet? ‘ So I had to explain to him the difference between a snake and a boa. - Priyanka (Max’s mom)

Alright, so Nicolette was about five right? I used to pop in an old tape of Xena the Warrior Princess to entertain her, while I did chores around the house. So she’s in the living room, watching tv and I’m cleaning the bathroom. Next thing I know, I hear this high pitched Xena yell. I go to see what’s going on, and there’s Nicolette on Buster’s back, with her toy sword in the air going. ‘Onwards my warbeast to battle! ‘ With another cry, and meanwhile the dog’s just standing there, and I swear to god he looked proud as hell. Like, ‘yes I am a warbest’. Funniest most adorable shit ever. - Candy (Nikki’s mom)

When Neil was little, he used to get please and peas mixed up. So he’d say things like ‘yuck, please are gross’ or ‘can I have this peas’. Anyway, so one day we’re at Chuck E. Cheese right? It was His fourth birthday I think, so we were like hey why not just take him and let him have a good time. And, where we’re from there’s different types of pizza, one of which has peas on it. So Neil sees that, and he goes ‘Ew no please on pizza peas’ and my wife and I were kind of chuckling at that. - Carl (Neil’s dad)

When Meredith was little, her hair was very long, longer than it is now actually. I think it was about to her thighs? Anytime we’d tell her or try to get her to cut it she’d refuse. So, one day I’m picking up the dirty laundry in her room and she’s watching Sailor Moon. I don’t think anything of it, so after getting her laundry I just go down the hall. Next thing I know, she bursts out with her hair in these big giant meatball shapes with some of it sticking out like Sailor Moon. She’s pointing her She-ra sword at me, and going ‘ I’m Sailor Moon defender of love and justice, I will triumph over evil, and that means you!’ So she just goes over and pokes me with the sword, while I’m trying not to laugh. Then she just sort of stood there, and looked at me like she was saying, ‘Well? I defeated you?’ So I just fall on the bed and she runs off. - Agent Roy Miller (Ered’s dad)

Then she comes up to me, in the kitchen, and pokes me with it. I’m just trying to finish lunch, but she keeps on poking me. She even looks at me all confused, and then looks at the sword like she’s saying, ‘why isn’t this working?’ So, I just playfully splash some water at her and she just manages to jump on the counter, before pointing the She-Ra sword at me, and lightly pokes my cheek. I just decided to play along in the end though, and went to the ground. She had the biggest smile on her face. - Agent Coulson Miller (Ered’s dad)

When Nerris was little, she once wrapped a towel around herself saying it was her cape. To this day, I have no idea how she did it, but I have this box of my DnD stuff that is too small for kids. Like Dice, tiny figurines, glitter bombs, just anything a kid can easily  use to put in their mouths. I kept all of it in a box, and was sure to put it in a spot where Nerris couldn’t reach, somehow she managed to get it. She then proceeded to run around the house in a towel throwing dice and glitter bombs, and yelling Harry Potter spells. It was hilarious and adorable. - William (Nerris’ dad)

One thing Nerris used to do, was she had this one stuffed animal, it was a white rabbit. She used to feed it Cheetos, thinking they were sort of like the carrots Bugs Bunny eats. Of course it never ate them so it’s mouth was always full of Cheetos dust.  I was always cleaning that thing, finally one day I guess she thought it would be a good idea to feed her other animals. Because the next thing I knew, all her stuffed animals had cheeto dust around their mouths. - Jane (Nerris’ mom)

So, one time I said that’s gay, I just blurted it out. But Gaylord heard me say that, and for some reason, in his brain he thought it meant ‘that’s mine’. So whenever he’d think or say something was his, instead of saying ‘mine’ or ‘that’’s mine’ he’d say ‘that’s gay’. So one day, I’m with my mom out at the store, and he points at this one toy and goes ‘that’s gay!’ Of course you got people looking at me weird, but he just kept repeating it and I’m trying not to laugh. So I just get him the toy and he’s like ‘ It’s gay’ and hugging it. - Rachel (Nurf’s mom)

Harrison used to spend a lot of time in the barn, doing chores or practicing his magic. One time, I caught him feeding the animals and singing that old song. The uh, ‘Old Mcdonald had a farm’ song, and he was singing it but when he’d get to the animal parts he’d stop. As if waiting for the animals to sing along. They never did of course, except for Bessie, our cow who’d always moo when Harrison got to the cow part. - Zachariah (Harrison’s dad)

When Neil was little once we took him to the planetarium, I think he was about six or seven. So, we’re walking and in the planetarium. They have these models of the planets, where you can look at them and read facts about them. We get to Uranus’ and he goes, ‘Uncle Buzz look it’s Uranus, but he pronounces it ‘your anus’. Now everyone is looking, but he just goes, why is Uranus blue? Uranus has rings? and I’m just trying not to laugh. - Buzz (space kid’s uncle)

Well, one day I caught Preston, acting out Romeo and Juliet with his stuffed animals. I was going to give him his snack, when I see him forcing two of his stuffed animals doing the balcony scene. One of them was on the television, while the other was on the ground. Preston was doing Juliet’s voice, and was trying to make himself as high pitched as possible. He stopped, when I came in but I think I still have a picture somewhere. - Muriel (Preston’s grandma)

Dolph used to draw on the walls, back home the walls would just be full of scribbles. Finally one day, my wife got tired of it and said ‘Rudolph, from now on you’re not allowed to write on any of the walls. If I see any sort of crayon on the walls, you’re not getting crayons anymore.’ So, He never wrote on the walls with crayons…and moved on to markers. My wife was not happy, while I was just laughing because well..she did say no crayons but she never specified no markers. - Lieutenant Houston ( Dolph’s dad)

-The boys aren’t allowed to enter in a club -

Louis: What does it mean I can’t enter? I’m Louis Tomlinson! What does it mean?!
Bodyguard: I’m sorry, you have to go down the row.
Harry: Don’t get nervous, love.
Louis: Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?
Harry: Alberto? Why not turn away Louis for a second ….
Louis: Let me go! Leave me! Let me go down Alberto!
Harry: I’m really embarrassed for this inconvenience. I’m sure you’re a good person, you’re just trying to do your job.
Niall: Nono, Harry. You’re doing it wrong. So, we are the One Direction : :D

Bodyguard:


Niall:: :D


Bodyguard: You have to go down the row.
Niall: But we are the One Direction. Don’t you know our latest single ?! IMPOSSIBLE!
Louis: * distant * Who sent there Harry and Niall? Who did it?! Please, LET ME DOWN!
Liam: Here I am! I settle this! I will make you proud Tommo.
Harry: As I was saying, one day my mom brought me this huge park. And there was a fountain that I lov…-
Liam: Move over, Harry. Hi! Um. Um. Um. Um.
Louis: COME ON Payno! SAY SOMETHING!
Niall: Neither No Control? There is a worldwide project, for no control.
Liam: Um. Um. Louis wants me bad. Um. Um. Um. YES! HI! YES! HARRY YOU AN ASSHOLE.
Bodyguard: -_-


Louis: -_-


Niall: impossible …
Harry: That’s here. You see it? All they treat me badly. This brings me to another memory …
Niall: Never seen X Factor?
Liam: * coming from Louis * sorry Tommo. I was agitated. Too much pressure. I became anxious.
Louis: Alberto, that’s enough. Let me off. The time has come .
Alberto: you’ll be good?
Louis: Yes. Yes. * He is released * Okay, great. * walks to the local *
Harry: I do not say! Even once they have left the toothpaste open on purpose! Uh, that’s my boyfriend. Oh. Looks angry ….. want to move?
Niall: Ok, What makes you beautiful. At least this. Now I try on spotify. You know it necessarily.
Louis: Let me space. Then. I am Louis Tomlinson, this is Harry Styles. This here … give me back the phone Niall. Give me back. This is Niall Horan. The guy behind there is a useless person and we-
Niall: WE ARE ONE DIRECTION! TATAAAAAAN!
Liam: * tataaaan* behind them and sad* ……
Harry: :)

Louis: So what?

Bodyguard: Look, dwarf. Back behind.
Harry: Oh, no.
Liam: Nononononono.
Niall: Oh, yes !!!!
Louis: * breathes *
Louis: * grabs the phone *
Louis: Hello? Yes. Yes. Mh. Ok, fired him. * hangs up *
Harry: But he is my new friend.
Louis: Sir, I believe you are calling on the phone.
Bodyguard: Hello? Oh. Oh. FUCK! I got fired.
Louis: I am Louis fucking Tomlinson.
Liam: He’s Louis fucking Tomlinson! And I’m Liam Payne and together we rock!
Louis: Really, shut up.
Liam: :(

Louis: * starts to the entrance *
Niall: HERE IT IS! Boys, started to enter. I am doing listen him WMYB!
Liam: Hey! Louis! Wait for me!
Louis: You may not enter, Payno. Make row.
Harry: I feel really embarrassed about your behavior.
Liam: Please, Lou! Please!
Niall: YOU DO NOT KNOW YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!
Harry: I’m going to apologize to the gentleman and I join Liam.
Louis: If you go out, no sex.
Harry: I think the gentleman was rude and deserves everything!
 Liam: Louis? Louis? LOOOOUIIIIIISSSS?
Louis: -_-


Harry: :(
Louis: -_-
Harry:: ((((((((((((((
Louis: Shit. Hurry up, Payno.
Liam: :))))
-
Niall: OHOH! THAT’S WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL! NANANANANNANANANANANANANANANANA