yes i am aware they look to be wearing party hats

Two Wettings the Night Before Christmas

This happened to me Christmas of 2015. As I do every time I have some sort of incident, I documented it and posted it onto omorashi.org. Here it is for your reading pleasure. =)

——————————-

Hi everyone! Its been awhile since I’ve posted anything in this section, but today being Christmas you all deserve a gift, and it just so happens that Christmas Eve brought alcohol. I tend to drink far too much whenever there’s alcohol around, and I don’t exactly handle myself well when drunk, and that brought two interesting situations last night given alcohol is a diuretic and all.

So yeah, last night was Christmas Eve, and like most families, we had a get together here at home and partied a little. Gifts were exchanged, stories told, and many a drink consumed. In my case, throughout the course of the night I burned through an entire bottle of whiskey and almost a whole case of hard lemonade. Needless to say, I got pretty tipsy and stupid to the point that eventually I could barely walk and spent a lot of time laying on the floor laughing at stuff. Occasionally I managed to make it to my computer and rant in the IRC about god knows what, I can’t remember, and message pretty much everyone I know to tell them they’re awesome. But that’s not what you’re here for! I’m sure you can imagine that alcohol being a diuretic coupled with the fact that trying to walk from room to room felt like a level straight out of StarFox did not make for fun adventures to the bathroom…But yet again, my biggest enemy was once again my own terrible judgement.

So, obligatory description phase. You know the basics, I’m tiny, anywhere between 5'5 and 5'9. I haven’t been measured in years, but if I deliberately put it off I can give estimates like that, that make me sound taller than I actually am probably. Around 116 pounds, pale enough that I could probably blend in with the snow if we actually had any on the ground right now. Long black hair, and I’d like to think I look fairly decent when I put on my standard eyeliner and the like. This story will involve 2 outfits, but for most of the night I was wearing a black shirt that stops right above my belly button, a black and white striped buttonup overshirt (A favorite of mine) left unbuttoned, a pair of light gray jeans with a cute belt. I have a thing for cute and shiny belt buckles, in this case it was a heart. I also wore a santa hat, but that fell off at some point and went forgotten for the rest of the night.

Anywho yes, I socialized, drank, drank some more, eventually devolved into being a cavewoman slurring around on the ground. It happens to me a lot. Needless to say, I eventually developed a rather pressing need to pee, but as is usually the case when I am drunk, I ignored it entirely because almost everything else in the world seems like a far more pressing matter. I recall the first time I actually noticed it as an urgent thing was when I was sitting on the floor in the living room playing my PS4 while trying to sing opera for some reason. I twisted in a certain way, and a drop fell out into my purple panties. It took me completely by surprise. I actually had to meditate on it for a second and focus on my bodily functions and was like, WELL I am certainly very desperate to pee, how did I not notice this? I stared at the stairs. Well…Kind of. My vision was swimming all over the place, so it was more like looking in the general direction of the stairs and mulling over the concept of them. Then a zombie attacked me on the game I had neglected to even look at for the last 20 seconds without pausing, and like a true drunk I COMPLETELY forgot the need I had just realized I had for perhaps the next 25 minutes before it violently reminded me I was there again.

Midgame I shifted again and a dribble began. I didn’t even notice it, but I began to feel warm and shifted again because it felt nice. The movement, naturally, caused me to suddenly violently spurt into my pants, the area between my legs gathering a sizable wet patch. Upon the feeling of momentary loss of control, I felt multiple things. Surprise, given I had forgotten about this, and a very sudden awareness that I could burst literally any second. The desperation I had somehow managed to ignore hit like a freight train. In that moment, it was like I had never needed to pee more. The moment I spurted I moaned VERY loudly, prompting my mother to poke in the room and give me a weird eye. I crossed my legs to hide the patch, waved at the tv and said something resembling “Zombeesh”, to which she nodded in apparent understanding.

It was at this point I became determined. I got to my feet somehow, and made my way up the stairs in a weird walk/crawling way, the people socializing in the kitchen next to the living room barely noticing. I dribbled more when I was going up I think. I can’t say for sure, but I do remember the warmness being more apparent the more I moved. I made it to the top…

…And completely forgot why I was there and stumbled into my bedroom before sitting at the computer. I blinked a few times, typed some crap I don’t remember into the IRC, and pondered my presence on the second floor of the house. I spurted badly again and suddenly remembered why…And just took it in. Being an omo enthusiast, the situation struck me and I became somewhat entranced and aroused. I felt the wet spot with my hand, which had grown into a very noticeable size. I vaguely remember humming lightly, an almost “mmm” sound and intentionally letting a few dribbles out to keep the warm lingering. I got a little TOO into it, because my back arched…Which pushed my belt and button into my abdomen. A very violent leak happened, spraying into my jeans with a hiss and I could feel my ass become very wet almost instantly. I shot forward and buried my hands between my legs with a noise probably sounding like a “Gah!” before remembering to appreciate the predicament I was in. I very obviously had to change now, very bad damage having been done. Go to bathroom. Change into pj’s. Plans having been laid and focused on, I stood up…and fell right into my desk, bumping into my belly more. I propped myself up, slamming my hand on my desk and squealing as I felt my muscles start to fluctuate heavily, like my pelvic floor were teetering and about to drop any second. I kept my free hand buried between my legs as I tried to stand, tried to move, tried to hold, but it was too hard.

A spray shot out. And another. I gasped and squeaked more as my pee began to warm my hand in bursts, the bursts rapidly coming closer together. My pants became damper in a larger, and larger margin each time, I could feel streams beginning to flow down my inner thighs…That’s what caused the pelvic floor to quite literally drop. The moment I got my balance it just started coming off of me, and trying to clench it shut was like trying to lift a weight way too heavy for me. I yelled out a very loud cry as I felt my pee race down the insides of my legs, trailing behind me to soak my lower ass, and otherwise pour off of me to pitterpatter onto the floor. It just kept hissing, a prolonged pssssh as I constantly cried out, “AHH A-AH AAH” as if the yelling would help my now drenched hand stem the flow (It didn’t.)

I looked down and saw it spread across the front of my jeans, the sleeve of my overshirt also becoming warm and wet from its position between my legs. The insides and back of my legs finally became soaked to the bottom, getting eachother as well as the floor wet from my constant futile bouncing and rapidly shaking legs. A stream came off my ankle and made a small river. I bit down on my hand, realizing that all the yelling was probably a bad idea, and only let out muffled panicked mewls as I stood there unable to move, constantly gripping at my completely drenched hissing crotch and pressing my legs together, unable to keep myself from completely wetting my pants right down to the last drop.

I stood there for a minute or two. Maybe more. Just taking it all in. I had many an emotion running through me at the time: fear, panic, relief, arousal, quite a bit of dizziness from alcohol if you can call that an emotion. I think I actually slapped something nonsensical into the IRC immediately afterward, something like “I peed oops.” I pulled myself together enough to change into my pj’s, some nice pink pj pants and an equally pink tank top, with some lighter red panties to finish off the ensemble. I stashed my wet clothes away so I could wash them the moment I had so much as a few minutes alone to throw them in the wash without their initial condition being seen, and wiped up the lake on my floor with a dirty towel I had used to shower earlier, and threw it in with the clothes. I was able to plan this much while bombed out of my mind. But my strife didn’t end there!

I got downstairs, and people were starting to leave. I gave goodbyes to the best of my ability, and sat down to game more (I am bad at social activities, but I was more than happy to chat games with anyone who came into the living room to investigate the zombie killing sounds of Dying Light.) Of course this only lasted as long as I could sit up. Drowsiness began to accompany the dizziness, and eventually playing the game even drunkenly was basically impossible. Mom came in and smacked me with a dish towel when I fell asleep on the floor with the controller in my hand, and I began the ridiculous process of wobbling my way back to my room. I fell right onto my mattress and that was that.

Now we come into a dream. I was in some sort of place. A semi outdoor military base maybe? Something odd like that. I really needed to pee, so I looked around. Granted, I was basically alone, it seemed deserted so I could have just peed right there, but logic isn’t a thing in dreams. After much desperate hobbling I ran into my 7th grade math teacher, whom I told “Miss, I really have to pee, reaaaaally badly right now, do you know where the bathroom is? Please?” And she just nodded in a teacherly way and nudged her head in a direction. I bounded over there immediately, and came face to face with a row of shower stalls, each with curtains. Not another soul to be found. For some reason I thought this was the best place, so I went in one and yanked the curtain behind me.

At this point my desperation jumped to a ten, and I got that feeling like if you were sitting while desperate, and then stood up. You know, the gravity of everything in your abdomen dropping? But I was standing the whole time, which again I attribute to dream physics. Just know it made me leak. So I look down to undo the bluejeans I was wearing. It is then I discover I am wearing not one, not two, but three belts. They aren’t my usual belts either with the cute buckles. Each buckle is a puzzle straight from “Keep talking and nobody explodes”, if you know the game. Where my belt notches would normally be was an led timer literally built into the leather, counting down from a minute. Somehow I knew I had to get each belt undone before the timer was up. First I figured out a morse code one, the word was “pebble”. The moment I unhooked it, I uncontrollably spurted into my jeans, creating a wet patch. The second belt had wires. With the wirecutter that magically appeared in my hand, I read through the manual that was on the shower wall for no reason and cut the proper wires, unhooking the buckle. I leak again, much worse this time, and let out a shriek as my inner thigh darkens down to almost the knee. The final buckle, is a word jumble. With 24 seconds left on the clock, I cannot figure out the solution for the life of me. I try to think but its almost impossible, my desperation is sooo bad, I just try to mull over words with those letters, all the while just saying to myself over and over, “I’m going to piss my pants, I’m going to piss my pants, I’m going to piss my pants…”

I never did figure out the words. Right as the clock hit 1 second, the letters rearranged themselves into the words TIMES UP!

The clock hit zero. My dream bladder, right on cue, feels like its contorting. Like its squeezing itself. I immediately hunch over, my hands and nails dig into my kneecaps. I cry out, yelling “Nooo don’t make me pee my fucking pants please no!!” but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. My bladder basically wrings itself out, and I have NO control. Its like I suddenly have the muscles of a 5 year old. I strain so hard and clench but it makes no difference, as my crotch and legs darken and shine, pee flowing out of me like a river. A loud hissing can be heard as it just runs down the back of my legs, no stopping it. My dream jeans barely contain it, and I can see several streams falling off me where the fabric is too saturated. I stare into my puddle and see my eyes. And then I wake up.

The first thing I notice is that it’s 3 am according to my clock. The second thing I notice is that I’m still basically hammered, because I can hardly move and the entire room is spinning like I’m about to be in the movie “Cube”. The third thing I notice is that I am absolutely bursting. As in, I’m not about to burst, I already am bursting. My nether regions and ass are very warm and very damp, and I can feel the bed underneath me becoming warm. I realize that I’m wetting my cute pink pajama pants and panties, and my first reflex is to shoot right out of bed. Of course this is a terrible idea, as again, the room is spinning. I roll right out of bed and land on the floor, on my back, and for the life of me I CANNOT get up.

This leads to my second accident of the night. I formulate the plan in my head. Stop the flow, stand up, go to the bathroom like a big girl. But none of those things ever happened. I’m on my back there on the floor, and I shove both hands down my bottoms and grip the outside of my now very wet panties. I let out a very sleepy and frustrated moan as I realize the impact did me in, my fingers and hands getting wetter and wetter as I leak and leak and leak. I keep groggily groaning things like “No, stop, please stop, nooo, stop peeing, I’m not peeing my pants nooo.” In exactly the way you expect someone who’s too drunk to know their environment would say it. I was basically on my back, and rolling from side to side like a stuck turtle, criss crossing my legs back and forth as my jammies got wetter and wetter. I try to sit up and that alone puts pressure on my bladder just enough to turn the leaks into a stream. I fall back on my back and begin whining and moaning as I clutch at my crotch from inside my pants, soaking my hands and arms, as I feel my pee seep through and pool on the floor under me, drenching my ass and making my pajama pants absolutely sopping, from pink to a red. It pools under my legs, and up under my back getting my tank top all wet too. I arch my back, moaning anxiously, hating how much I was loving the relief.

Due to the arch I’m able to get a glance underneath me, and I can now hear the hissing coming from my pants, and it begins to stream straight from under my ass through the fabric onto the floor beneath it, and that sight just kills me in more ways than one. I lose ALL control and I become a human firehose, the hissing becoming so loud its almost deafening, and the sight of niagra falls and the feeling of sopping warmth when I plop back down into my puddle wakes me up and I become absolutely frantic, realizing fully that I am laying on my floor absolutely soaking myself. I start whining and panicking, my hands shooting everywhere they can grow, my eyes going wide as I keep muttering something along the lines of “no no no stop stop stop” but I just…can’t. I push my hands into my crotch from the outside of my pants this time and the heat from my pee is just hot, in multiple ways of the word. I couldn’t stop no matter how hard I clutched, pushed, wiggled my legs and soaking wet ass, it just poured out of me as I moaned and groaned like a panicked child.

Eventually it stopped and I just laid there, in a huge puddle, just staring at the ceiling not believing I just pissed in my bed and on my floor in what were some of my favorite jammies. I actually ended up passing out there, due to the alcohol I’m assuming. I woke up later, finding I had kicked my pants halfway off in my sleep. I was soaked from almost head to toe. I threw the pants with the other clothes…I was freezing now, as the puddle had grown cold. I was feeling less drunken and a little queasy. I walked downstairs in my wet panties and tank top, knowing everyone was sound asleep and ate some lasagna while pondering whether alcohol was worth it anymore. Yes, a wetting at 3 am made me consider quitting drinking. I got back upstairs, took off the rest of my garments, grabbed my second shower in the last 24 hours, before cleaning up (again), throwing on a nightie and going back to sleep again. I had to pee again kinda by the time I got in the shower, because a whole case of hard lemonade and a quart of whiskey is a lot of liquid I assume, and I had yet to empty any of it anywhere that wasn’t my clothes. So I peed in the shower to spite my dream. I peed in a shower successfully without a belt time bladder bomb. So ha.

I woke up, had Christmas morning, got some sweet loot, visited family, had dinner, and had a great day overall. And first thing tomorrow morning when everyone’s sleeping in, I’ve got a hefty, very damp load of laundry that I need to take care of. As per usual, I got away without being caught, and thinking back on it causes me to realize that it was all very hot in retrospect. Its hard to revel in it when you’re panicking and trying not to do it, but looking back on it later is always rather fun.

Anywho, I hope you all enjoy my latest mishap. I look forward to feedback! Feel free to leave a comment, shoot me a message, whatever <3

I hope everyone had a great day! Merry Christmas!

P.S No I’m not giving up alcohol I’m basically an alcoholic I ain’t kidding myself.

Molly Hooper Appreciation Week Summer 2017 - Day 5

On FFdotnet and Ao3

Hello, friends!  Is it midnight yet where I am?  NO! Does that mean I am technically posting Day 5’s fic on Day 5?  YES!  I literally finished this about five minutes ago so there has been no editing going on.  I’ll fix all the mistakes before I post to FFdotNet and Ao3. Probably.

Anywho – I wrote a fic today.  It’s … a thing.  That I did. But it’s on time, so yay for me.

Day 5 - The Wrong Trouser Of Time (Fanworks focusing on canon divergence)

I’m Not Saying a Word

Even from his bedroom, Sherlock could hear the low, impatient murmur of reporters and cameramen milling about outside Baker Street.  Some of them had been waiting nearly a quarter of an hour.  As far as Sherlock was concerned, they could continue to wait until he had a chance to say hello to their last guests.  Who were uncharacteristically tardy.  Or, at least, Molly was; he had no idea if the fiancé was generally punctual or not.  

When Mrs Hudson had first suggested throwing a small engagement party at Baker Street, he had balked; but he really did owe John something for letting the man think they were going to be blown to pieces on that train car; champagne and nibbles it was the least he could agree to.

He finished his phone call with Mycroft, delighted that for once it was brother dear who had to suffer through another jaunt to the theatre with Mummy and Father.

“Come on.”  John tried to urge his friend to deal with the reporters outside, no doubt in a hurry to return to Mary and his glass of champagne.  “You’ll have to go down.  They want the story.”

Sherlock was tempted to remind him that they were waiting for Molly, but he knew John would read too much into it. John did have a point, unfortunately, the people outside would only wait so long before ringing the bell and becoming a nuisance.  He rolled his eyes and moved past him.  “In a minute.”

He stepped into the siting room and immediately noticed that the first bottle of had been emptied.  Everyone else already had a glass at hand, but who knew what would happen to the second bottle if he left them unsupervised while he went downstairs.  He popped the cork and crouched down next to the coffee table to pour a glass for Molly. It briefly occurred to him that he should save one for the fiancé, but he shrugged the thought off by reminding himself that he wasn’t even sure the other man drank alcohol.  No sense wasting a glass.

He looked up just in time to realize that Mary was looking at him, even though she was talking to Mrs Hudson.  “We were interrupted last time.”

John chimed in from behind.  “Yeah.”

Ah, the aborted proposal. Admittedly, he did have something to do with that, yes.

Keep reading

Caged - Epilogue

Characters: NamjoonxReader
Length: 2336 words
Genre: Mafia AU
Warnings: Violence

Part 39

The black silk of your dress was cool against your skin and the light draft in the staircase gave you goosebumps. You were sitting on the top step, enveloped by the cold December air that had sneaked its way into the building through cracks and crannies, but you didn’t mind. The ballroom you had spent the last few hours in had been hot and stuffy, and you welcomed the opportunity to cool down your thoughts and your body. A smile played on your lips as you dipped the spoon in your hand into the ice cream cup that you had taken from the buffet and brought the chocolate-y goodness to your mouth. When you heard the heavy metal door being pushed open, you hurried the motion, well-aware that your precious peace and quiet were about to come to an end.

“You should go back inside. People are looking for you.”

You chuckled at the familiar words, even though it had been over a year since you had last heard them. Still smiling, you turned around and smiled at Jungkook.

“Five minutes?”

He sighed in fake exasperation and walked over to where you were seated. He took two steps down before sitting down next to you. His suit jacket stretched across his shoulders and arms as he leaned forward and rested his forearms on his thighs.

“Five minutes.”

“Thank you. Do you want some ice cream?”

“Noona, this is not the-”

“Oh please,” you interrupted him and shoved a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. Jungkook rolled his eyes, but then he smiled and licked his lips. His right hand reached across and landed on your right forearm, his thumb gently tracing the scar that had faded into a white mark.

Keep reading

Things me and my family have done/said, part 3

Drew: You know that’s bad for you right?

Piper: Okay so? Name one processed food that is actually good for you *dumps 5 boxes of mug cake mix into the cart*


Annabeth: It’s bells that love doordogs

Annabeth: Wait… that’s not right


Jason: Dangit, I can’t crack my other back

Leo: Dude, you only have one back. Yohob!


Percy: 46 percent on a test isn’t bad if the class average just so happens to be 34 percent


Grover: When I was little, I thought birthday suits were something you bought at Joseph A. Bank. In my head i saw a light grey suit with little balloons and party hats with colourful streamers.

Grover: That’s not what Bruno Mars meant


Leo: We went out to eat at a Hibachi Sushi place, and our chef told us that there were three types of customers: fun ones that talk to him, ones who just quietly watched, and the ones you can have fun with. The last one was actually just people playing on their phones. He wasn’t a native English speaker, so he would act like he didn’t know English when they told him what they wanted. We hold put his hands together and repeatedly nod while going ‘Ok! Ok!’ and watch them grow really confused

Leo: I hope that guy has a really great life, because that is goals


Jason: Thalia and I went our first plane ride together, and she wasn’t aware that the landing would be very bumpy. The plane touched down, she bounced up, and let loose the loudest scream/laugh I have ever heard. The whole broke out laughing and Thalia laughed with them.


Percy: When I was little, my mom use to take me to the lagoons in Hawaii. She would also go there, lay down, and laugh at people who thought they could surf but really couldn’t so they kept wiping out. Now there’s some Disney resort there.


Hera, with a joking attitude: Zeus, how even old are you?

Zeus: I don’t know

Percy: Probably 60


Paul: You don’t even know this song

Percy: Who cares, it was on Pitch Perfect. Turn up the radio.


Nico: For a full year I wore my hair in front of my left eye because one person told me “there is no way anyone could see like that!”

Nico: I don’t remember why I stopped. Just one day I started to put my hair up in ponytails and decided I looked cuter like that.


Piper: There was this point in time where I couldn’t wear eyeliner, but then one day I just winged it

Jason: Okay seriously, that one wasn’t even funny

Piper: Yes it was, I’m the master-raca of beauty puns


Hazel: Growing up, I hated diamonds so much. I was born in April and my birthstone is a diamond, and I would get people who would go ‘awh you’re so lucky, I got this stone instead’ and that gem would be much prettier than a diamond. I just felt like the clear carbon didn’t express my imagination and personality at all. It was so mainstream and I hated that.

Hazel: Well one day, as I was procrastinating on my Political/Whatever issues (that I was going to write about gun rights), I came across this College Humour video about how diamonds are worthless. So I clicked on it and watched the video, then immediately emailed my teacher for a issue switch

Hazel: It was one of the best papers I ever wrote, and I got a B despite the fact it was late.


Annabeth: I once binge watched 3 seasons of Arrow in 2 weeks, or 2 seasons in 1 week if you want to focus on that one week before end of course testing. Well, I got grounded from Netflix and TV because I lied to my mother about my coursework so I could watch 40+ episodes of the series. Back then it was only 3 seasons in so I was pretty confident I would finish it in a timely manner.

Annabeth: Well i was mad at my mom. My geography class had a final project where you picked two countries that had next nothing in common and you made a powerpoint about them.

Annabeth: Well Stephen Amell by that point had become my ideal. So I picked Canada. Then proceeded to hide pictures of his face on every single slide.

Annabeth: Then I replace Toronto with his face

Annabeth: I turned it in under the name “The most amellzing country you will ever see”

Annabeth: I am still proud of it, to this day


Pollux: I was 2 years old when I had my first sip of wine.  My mother had a glass of really dry red wine in her hand, since she was not longer pregnant, and I asked for some. She told me ‘Oh no, you won’t like this’ and I thought it was grape juice so I insisted on having some. Defeated, she had to offer me the last little puddle in her glass. 

Pollux: I don’t remember it, but according to her I screamed ‘It burns! It burns!’ and wouldn’t go near grape juice for a week


Silena: I was four when my dad promised me a hair cut. My mom was deployed overseas and had about a month left, so it was time for my sister and I to have pretty hair to show off when she got back.

Silena: Well he promised that after school he would take us to the salon. He promised and promised and promised.

Silena: Then drove past the salon was went straight home.

Silena: And I was so mad. I waited until he was asleep, went into the kitchen, took the sharpest scissors from the drawer, opened his right eye to make sure he was asleep, then dragged my sister into the bathroom.

Silena: I remember this because of three things -  It was my first encounter with the REM sleep cycle, the  first time I realized mirrors were actually green, and I thought the hair cut I gave to both my sister and I was fabulous.

Silena: Well mom didn’t agree. She cried when she got the pictures. 

Silena: All because dad didn’t take me to the salon.

Keep reading

Second Chances - Jeff x Reader: Chapter 4

Summary: Reader and Jeff work a project and become fast friends. The project ends and they go their separate ways, neither forgetting the other. With Hollywood being a small community, you two bump into one another either at events or projects, but there is always something keeping you apart. Will the obstacles ever end?

Chapter 4 Summary: Hotel before the party and the party at a local bar.
Warnings: language (probably), slow burn, angst
A/N: I have a few ideas to continue this, but it’s still developing. Please leave comments or let me know if you want to be tagged, etc.

I’m a little stressed over this chapter, it gave me fits!

Masterlist
Word Count: 2069

Tags: @jml509 @jasoncrouse @yellatthetopofyourlungs


Hotel Lounge 8pm

     Being with Jeff didn’t make you nervous, it was the anticipation that made you nervous. The entire shoot, you’d had on ratty old jeans and t-shirts with your work boots, and your hair was always in a ponytail with your favorite hat. Tonight was a whole other side of you that you were going to show him. You were always more comfortable in jeans and a tee, but your life was about taking risks now, right? Moving to Hollywood was definitely a big risk and now you were going to your first-ever wrap-party. It didn’t matter much that you thought the final product would be shit, the point was, you’d worked your ass off every single day and you were proud of yourself.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Oh god i need more civilian au.

Your wish is my command, anon! This is far more lighthearted than Remnants of Rain (and honestly this oneshot wasn’t planned yet the story unveiled itself, so it’s part of the AU now), but I do so hope you enjoy it! ^.^

-*-*-*-*-*-

Tim squirmed, yanking at his collar. Sweat gathered uncomfortably at his scalp. It was hot.

“Why couldn’t we go swimming?”

Dick, in a backbend, answered, “Because the country club said we can’t be there without Bruce.”

The seven year plopped into his lawn chair, swiping at his brow. “Why not?” he asked plaintively. Tim and heat didn’t mix–especially heat in late May when it was supposed to be fair weather, not a visit from the Sahara Desert.

“Because we let Ace swim in the pool, and Jason and Cass set off fireworks on the roof, and I used the golf clubs as vaulting poles, and—”

“I meant why can’t he take us?”

The thirteen year old flipped his legs over his head, placed them upon the floor, and rolled upright. “Bruce can’t hang out because he and Talia are going over ‘details’ with the planner.”

“But why?”

“Because they’re getting married, Tim. You already know that.”

“Married,” Tim repeated in a mumble. He slumped in his the seat. “Why would anyone want to get married?”

“You’re gonna marry me,” Stephanie piped up from two feet away, making daisy chains with Cassandra.

“No, I’m not.”

“C'mon, Timbo.” Dick strode over and ruffled his hair. “You’ve been with her since kindergarten. Time to make her an honest woman out of her.”

“Yes, make an honest woman out of me.”

Tim shuffled further into his seat. “Weddings are stupid,” he muttered defiantly, kicking the chair in front of him. Alfred cleared his throat and Tim blushed.

“No, they’re not!” Stephanie exclaimed as she sprang from the grass, daisy chains flying outwards like squawking pigeons. Cassandra peevishly removed the petals from her face. “Weddings are good, are great! There’s a service, and dancing, and dresses, and food, and cake—”

“Cake?” Tim sat up straighter. “You said cake?”

“Uh-huh.”

He raised his eyebrows, blue eyes suspicious. “Will our wedding have cake?”

The seven year old tilted her blonde head and replied through a mischievous smile: “LOTS of cake.”

“Okay,” Tim nodded. He stood from his seat and grasped Steph’s small hand. “Let’s get married.” He pulled her along to the manor.

“Today?” she asked, stumbling over her shoelaces.

Tim paused and waited for her to tie them. “Yep,” he said shortly as she stood, grasping her hand once more and breaking into a run, “right now.”

Keep reading

My thoughts during the 2016 MAMAs

Alright so let’s skip the red carpet cause the struggle to find a link was real and I would like to thank @the-shinee-knight who came to my rescue when I was yelling into the kpop void at 4 in the morning. I also want the name of the designers of all the dresses for the night cause I don’t think I saw one that I didn’t like.
▪Blackpink and Monsta X also won awards. And because Monsta X were there, we got to see how surprised they are. The boys are all smiles :D

But the red carpet acts were:
- SF9
   • the dance break was nice
   • for some reason their outfits amuse me.  I think its the mesh shirt and bow combo
- I.O.I.
   • they are so cute, but the shoes are a bit much
   • I always forget the small one is a rapper


Alright onto the actual show. And I have no subs
- Tetris blocks…. okay
- now with creepy ass music
- okay that’s dope nvm
- so we doing a Tetris theme this year
- yes kid. Get that tap dance. This your stage boy
- oh they showing all styles of dance
- NCT IS STARTING THE SHOW
- MY STREAM KEEP BUFFERING!!! CHILDREN GO ELSE WHERE TO WATCH
- They just fucking it up
- I’M SO PISSED I ALMOST MISSED TAEMIN BECAUSE OF STREAMING ISSUES. Bless having back ups
- yes taemin all of this is my life
- his outfit is extra but I don’t care anymore
- his cheekbone is making a shadow. Lord help me
- I love how it’s the mnet Asian music awards but it’s hella Korea
- TWICE look so cute, oh these kids
- BEST NEW FEMALE ARTIST: I.O.I.
- The envelopes for this year are so elaborate and cute. Well done book designer
- oh the small one is crying
- that stage is huge. These performances are going to be amazing
- BEST NEW MALE ARTIST : NCT127
- Mark your hair. Are you aware?
- MY BABY IS CRYING AND I JUST WANT TO HUG HIM
- CAN HE JUST GET ALL THE LOVE PLEASE
- IT IS TOO EARLY TO CRY DAMN IT BOY
- THANK YOU WINNIN
- Alright, a Thai singer. Oh he just introduced
- GFRIEND
- THESE GIRLS ARE THE TALENT I STAN
- SVT AND GFRIEND I DIED
- 7:13 RATIO
- THE ARRANGEMENTS ARE STILL AMAZING
- THIS IS THEIR NEW SONG BOOM BOOM RIGHT???
- I AM JUST SO HERE FOR THIS JRU WAS JDWKUDNEJENU YOU DYDY
- AGAIN ARRANGEMENTS
- ADORE YOU MUSICAL VERSION I’M DONE
- I AM FANGIRL ING S O HARD
- BOI YOU BETTER
- NICE
- AYERS THEY ALL DOING IT
- oh this is more a seventeen stage then GFRIEND stage. I wanted more GFRIEND
- Duets and he gets snubbed hahaHA
- okay, GFRIEND get the end and the “last word” so okay
- I am no longer bitter
- and I want one of their jackets
- bringing everyone back on for the final pose
- BEST STYLE : EXO
- shit the fans chants
- why is Baekhyun looking like he was invited to the wrong gathering?
- I don’t know why Gallant is here but I so here for it. I don’t know if this is his audience though
- THIS IS MY SONG!!
- I know a lot of people didn’t know about him until BTS Taehyung tweeted about him
- did you hear his falsetto right then
- okay, maybe they brought him just cause I wanted to hear him
- HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN LATER IN THE SHOW!!!! HE IS TOO FUCKING GOOD
- I NEED TO GO TO ONE OF GALLANT’S SHOWS NOW
- THOSE ADLIBS AND WHEN THE MUSIC JUST DROPPED OUT AND HE JUST WENT OFF AND I DIED
- WORLD WIDE FAVORITE ARTIST : GOT7
- oooooooo they trying thing to get snl Korea back in better light
- BEST OST: LEE JUCK
- WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO THE ACTRESSES FACES MY LORD
- cute little dude
- this is why he was dressed different
- DREAM!!!! Baekhyun and Suzy
- it has been a good minute since I have heard this
- didn’t this song get a triple kill or three week #1
- awwww fam are so cute
- it’s amazing to see the transformation Suzy has made since Dream High
- BEST FEMALE ARTIST: TAEYEON
- the models are so tall, and see is so not lol
- I love this drawings of the male group nominations
- BEST DANCE PERFORMANCE MALE GROUP: 방탄소년단 for Blood Sweat & Tears
- MY DORKS
- FAN CHANTS
- HOBIS LITTLE GIGGLE
- BERMUDA TRIANGLE TIME BITCHES
- DEAN!!!!!
- this set up is really cool
- that hat is pretty bad tbh
- now it’s time for Crush
- I just never want him to stop singing
- that lighting
- ZICO BABE
- EUREKA
- girl did a booty shake straight to a split like boom
- Taehyung and HOBI :)
-  PARTY TIME
- Zico just went and played with RM and I love it
- they hat can go back on
- CRUSHS ENTRANCE
- THIS IS JUST NASTY
- GFRIEND don’t know what do…. oh sweethearts
- THE FLOOR LEVELS
- THAT WAS FANTASTIC
- bro. This advert within the show is only here to add time for the staff cause there is only one MAJOR commercial break
- SUZY IS HAVING A SOLO DEBUT IN JANUARY
- this is the break between part 1 and 2
—–☆——–☆——-☆——-☆——-☆——☆—–
- now we’re starting part 2
- time to steal shit
- THIS COLLABORATION STAGE MAY JUST KILL ME
- NCT 127
- FANCHANTS are there!!
- when can we fire their stylist?
- and now we got MONSTA X
- JOOHEONIE!! HE GOING OFF
- RAP BATTLE!! YES
- FIGHTER!!!
- who the hell is trying to have a vlive rn??
- LOOK AT THAT MY SUNS!!
- YES BABES
- YOU can hear their breaths witch means no lipsyncing
- MONSTA X GOT7 YES
- JACKSON LOOKIN FANTASTIC JUST SAYING
- SQUAD UP
- they either have the best camera shots or the worst because they aren’t facing the main audience
- they fixed that
- the transition from Jin Yong to young Jae is my fave
- YES YUGEUM
- ALL THE FAKE MONEY
- this announcer dude is adorable
- WORLD PERFORMER: SEVENTEEN
- LOOK AT AILEE CHEER THEM ON
- MY HOSHI!!!!
- I haven’t stopped smiling since seventeen started accepting their award
- okay I saw this girls dress on the red carpet and I still want it
- GIRLS EDUCATION IS IMPORTANT YES
- AND DEMI LOVATO
- time to BECOME AWARE MAMA
- I honestly hope they are listening to what she is saying and not just thinking about the artists that are next.  Because this is a real issue
- but I guess not…..
- he had the entire arena chanting so shit
- yeah, there is a reason he won the OST award
- yes, giving out the awards to yeah know THE REST OF ASIA
- Sekai no owari
- Hua chenyu
- JJ Lin
- all but one knew english. Like shit, I am crap
- BEST VOCAL PERFORMANCE MALE SOLO: CRUSH
- Crush is so cute. He didn’t know it was going to happen and the face he made was priceless
- DEAN and Zico just giving him the biggest hug gave me such life
- BEST VOCAL PERFORMANCE FEMALE SOLO: AILEE with If You
- Ailee is one of my Kpop Queens 💓💓💓
- 5 years. Hot damn
- TWICE and the Mario theme oh boy
- and now IOI
- warning indeed
- THE CLAW
- HAPPY MUSIC FACTORY
- aren’t those the og outfits?
- FAN FUCKING CHANTS
- they do really good dance breaks
- TO THAT DUDE IN THE CROWD HAPPY BIRTHDAY
- this is my favorite IOI song
- now twice
- their outfits are so cute
- GET IT MOMO
- THAT OPEN IS A YES FROM ME
- FAN FUCKING CHANTS
- EXO IS DANCING ALONG
- I AM DANCING ALONG
- THE WORLD IS DANCING ALONG
- TT
- YES
- IF you say you didn’t sing or dance along you are lying
- BEST DANCE PERFORMANCE SOLO: TAEMIN
- we all saw that coming. You can’t lie about that
- are taemin and Sehun wearing the same coat?
- BEST VOCAL PERFORMANCE GROUP: DAVICHI
- the high five the awkward bow with Zico is fantastic
- their gowns are what I just want to have in my closet to wear if the time ever comes but never wear
- Quicey Jones!!!!
- right Timbaland is there
- Do they know Missy Misdemeanor Elliot? doubt it
- Timbaland, what are you doing here? Please tell me. You got the hype man thing down.
- None the less. ERIC IS KILLING THIS
- DUDE REALLY DOES HAVE A BACKPACK ON
- if you gonna show up, bring more to the table next time.
- BEST MALE GROUP: EXO
- SOME OF THEM ALREADY HAVE THEIR PERFORMANCE OUTFITS ON HELP
- LAY IS HAPPY TO BE HOME
- Chan is so tall. Never not amazed
- BEST FEMALE GROUP: TWICE
- I like the theme of not having the leader accept the award anymore lol
- BEST BAND PERFORMANCE: CNBLUE
- THEY WROTE DAY 8 AS THEY WERE ANNOUNCING THEM OHMYGOSH
- BEST MUSIC VIDEO: WHISTLE by BLACKPINK
- yeah know, I can see GOT7 Youngjae being the next Crush way down the line.
- BTS
- FAM IM OUT
- SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE
- fam I lived
- I don’t know how I lived
- honestly I may be dead
- this was a great BTS concert yall
- PRODUCE 101 SEASON 2!!! hot shit
- fam I have class in an hour and a half and do not need these commercials rn
—–☆——–☆——-☆——-☆——-☆——☆—–
- and now part 3. May I actually go to class today.
- studio concrete???
- wasn’t he a prince in a drama?
- the fuck is going on there?
- SPACE!!!!!!!
- okay then
- they always play real intense background music
- BewhY
- yesss
- I really like the set up of this
- the dancers are killing it
- YIRUMA just outta nowhere
- a piano version of DAY DAY with Prepix ?!?!?! FUCK YES
- you go find your friends and joke and I love
- THAT WAS SO LIGHT AND FUN
- BEST COLLABORATION: SUZY AND BAEKHYUN with Dream
- he is already to perform lol
- she already did her performance with him so she is just fresh faced and calm.
- now which company gets the trophy?
- BEST RAP PERFORMANCE: CJAMM AND BEWHY for Puzzle
- dude is petting the trophy lol
- Taeyeon stage
- RAIN
- that is a really nice use of lights
- they gave the audience umbrellas
- SM and their eye makeup
- feel bad for the people behind the umbrellas who can’t see worth a damn
- and now Wiz Khalifa
- I don’t know why they brought him here. He has no reason. Wrong music context
- is his music catchy? Yes. Is the beat decent? Yes. But I have no control over this and people were probably excited so I can understand.
- Bambam would get caught
- this song is the reason he is here. Because so many idols have covered it and it was at the end of that one movie.
- Oh Jackson
- this is actually a kind of magical moment when thousand of people have come together to sing something meaningful that crosses over countries and doesn’t deal with politicals.
- BEST MALE ARTIST: ZICO
- can someone do me a favor and get Dean new clothes and hair
- BEST DANCE PERFORMANCE FEMALE GROUP: GFRIEND
- YES!!!!!!!! MY GIRLS GET WHAT THEY DESERVE!!!!
- LOVE STANNING TALENT
- she is so cute. I think she named everyone in the company.
- HER ENGLISH!!! THANK YOU
- THE FUCK IS THIS
- IT’S EXO CAUSE THOSE LIGHT STICKS
- WHY IS KAIS GREEN
- THE SACRIFICE
- FAM I GTG
- SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE
- yall that was a great Exoridium
-  people have to follow that???
- thank God it is just an award
- Quincy Jones
- point for trying
- it’s the end man. They can’t understand you and they put the translation over your head oh no
- this man is a legend and these people don’t realize it and it is because of their background knowledge of where they come from.  Which is why I probably don’t know a lot of the music history of another nation’s music. He just expects too much from people who don’t have this knowledge
-  I may be able to make it to class… maybe
- SONG OF THE YEAR: TWICE with Cheer up
- HOLY SHIT
- I DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING BUT I LOVE IT
- HAPPY TEARS LOVE
- I’M SO PROUD OF THEM
- ARTIST OF THE YEAR: 방탄소년단
- DAMN RIGHT GROUP HUG
- PROUD MOM FEELS
- HE IS CRYING
- DON’T TOUCH ME
- JIN NO
- KOOKIE!!!!!!!!
- yoongi…. my baby. Someone hug him because I am not there
- I almost cried right there
- ALBUM OF THE YEAR: EXO
- OKAY!!!!!!
- I CAN HANDLE MYSELF HERE
- WE’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE
- SEHUN HONEY BUNCH
- CHANYEOLIE!!
- oh Noodles
- did bbh actually sweat the makeup that much?
- LAY BABY
- THE MUSIC MAKES IT BIGGER
- BLESS YOU NOODLES
- okay if we close now, I can make it to class.
- TWICE GET THEIR SONG AT THE END
- BOUNCY HOBI AS A FAV HOBI
- So sorry to sf9. If they still there
- interactions are my life


Until the next concert (which is near new years) it’s been real fam


and if anyone was wondering, I was only 10 minutes late to my lecture

anonymous asked:

nina! pls write dodgeball captain liam fic! it sounds awesome.

It’s almost the end of junior year and he can’t believe what he has accomplished, how things have come together for him. A year ago he wouldn’t have even thought that one day he’d be playing his final game of the Dodgeball Championship, let alone captaining the game himself. There was a time nobody knew who he was, when teachers forgot what his name was. And now, there isn’t a single person in school who doesn’t know who he is; Liam Payne, the fucking Captain of the Dodgeball Team. But on top of that, above everything else, what Liam could never have seen coming, was Zayn Malik.  

Keep reading

{Scarred} Pt. 3 ~ Draco Malfoy x Reader

Originally posted by thetimelordsofbaskerville


Lol, when you’re an idiot like me and you JUST now found the picture/gif button XD. Well, here’s the third part that I have chosen to release early ;) ~

Click here for Part 1

Click here for Part 2

Click here for Part 4

The next night, {Y/N} had worn a silver gown that glittered with stardust, with her hair ironed into perfect curls. {Y/N} hadn’t had the slightest idea of who to take with her to the party, so she only went with Harry and Luna as an accompaniment. The party was decorated elaborately with tinsel hung from the ceiling, candles floating above the heads of guests, and red curtains draped in doorways and windows. “Hi, Harry, hi Luna,” said Neville, who had sidled up to them wearing a white server’s uniform, “Hi, {Y/N}. Enjoying the party?”

{Y/N} blinked at him, replying, “What are you doing, Neville? And yes, the party is quite nice.”

“I found that the only way to get in was to be a server,” the boy admitted, holding his tray of glasses out towards the trio, “Drinks?” {Y/N} reached forward to take one as Harry said, “No thanks, Neville.” {Y/N} took a quick sip, the bubbly drink sending waves of exciting pleasure through her stomach. “Wow, this is scrumptious,” {Y/N} smiled, “And Neville, if you had wanted to come to the party you could’ve just asked–I didn’t have anyone to take.” The boy dipped his head, clearly embarrassed at not thinking of the idea before. “You’re right… well, it’s too late now. Drinks?” he hurried off to the next set of guests, offering the refreshing liquid.

“Let go of me!” someone ordered from behind {Y/N} as Harry slinked off. She turned around just in time to scurry out of the way of Filch, the caretaker, who was holding onto a rather dull and distressed looking Draco. “Found this boy sneaking around at night,” said Filch gleefully, “Not supposed to be out and about late in the eve, are we?”

“What is the meaning of this?” said the even voice of Professor Snape, who had slunk out from a group of teachers. Filch dragged Draco forwards, eagerly replying, “Was sneaking around, by the looks of it. Seemed like he was up to something–”

“Okay, okay!  I was gate-crashing, all right?” Draco intervened, scowling at no one in particular as he glared at the floor. Snape was quiet for a moment. “I will speak to Draco alone,” he finally spoke, “and I will decide on what seems a fitting punishment for him. Draco–” Snape jerked his head in the direction of Slughorn’s office door, disappearing through it a few seconds later with Draco following closely behind. {Y/N}’s eyes followed him as he went. A few feet behind Draco after he had left, Harry dashed into the hallway, silent as a mouse. Irritated, {Y/N} quickly crept after him, surprisingly light-footed, considering she was in heels. “Harry,” she hissed softly, the boy quickly whirling around to look at her, eyes wide with alarm. “Where do you think you’re going?” {Y/N} interrogated him with a frown. Harry looked at her with pleading eyes. “Please, {Y/N}, I’ve got to know what he’s been up to!”

Keep reading

Dear 1DHQ,

Since you’re all apparently fucking morons, im going to take the time out of my day to tell you exactly what you’re doing to fuck one direction up.  Inevitably the confusing narratives, relationship fuckery and marketing to five year olds is going to be your downfall.  So lets go through it one by one and see where you can mend some breaks and make us [ the fans ] and the boys unhappy

[ aka an open letter to modest management and how they’re fucking up]

Keep reading

A Simple Meal

Based on a prompt from a million years ago from kreeby​ for Isii to cook some Dalish food for Solas. This is also written to replace my fic “Secrets Bleed Through”. (I was never really happy with it, so it was time to remove it from my canon.)

Some pre-relationship Solavellan with a healthy dose of Sera and Cole. Makes references to Red Lyrium, though it is not required reading.


Sera sighed, scowling. “How much longer is this going to take? I’m starving.”

“Perhaps if you’d spent less time crudely comparing the vegetables to various anatomical features and more time chopping, we would be eating by now,” Solas muttered.

“Oh stuff it,” she snapped back at him. Isii merely shook her head as she stirred the small pot that lay suspended over their campfire.

“It should be done soon,” she said patiently. She fished out a piece of carrot, blowing on it before taking a cautious bite. It was almost soft enough. A few more minutes should do it. It was time to start the she’bradh. She dug into her pack, retrieving a handful of ingredients. “Hand me that bowl, will you?” she asked, gesturing to Sera.

The elf picked up the wooden bowl, eyeing the eggs inside. She picked one up, smirking as she held it out toward Solas. “Real family resemblance there.”

He didn’t seem particularly amused. “Yes, Sera. I am bald,” he said flatly. “Your powers of perception are truly something to marvel at.”

Isii chuckled. While Sera and Solas were never particularly friendly with one another, they had been especially irritable today. She supposed taking both of them with her for an extended trip had been a poor choice. Their patience was wearing a bit thin.

Well, Solas’s patience was. Isii didn’t get the impression that Sera had much in the way of patience.

Isii shot a brief glance over to the fourth member of their party. The spirit stared back at her, his eyes wide and eerily still as he watched her take the bowl, beginning to carefully crack the eggs open. Cole didn’t talk much. She wondered if that would change as he grew more comfortable with them or if he simply didn’t have much to say. He seemed content to watch, however, apparently fascinated with the mundane tasks they had been handling over the course of the past week. This trip to the far edges of the Hinterlands had been rather uneventful so far. She supposed that was a good sign. It meant the Inquisition’s efforts were paying off.

Sera leaned toward the fire, sniffing cautiously at their dinner. “There aren’t gonna be any bugs in it, right?”

Isii’s eyes narrowed as she dumped a handful of a flour mixture into the bowl. “No. I didn’t put any bugs in it.”

“But you people do eat that shit, right?” she asked, sneering. “Like, creepy crawly little buggers?”

“They’re really not that bad,” Isii said with a shrug, beginning to combine the bowl’s contents with her hands, working the yolks apart with her fingertips.

Sera’s lips turned, her tongue emerging as she gagged. “That’s disgusting.” She turned to Solas, gesturing sharply. “Even you’d say that’s rank, right?”

“Resourceful, perhaps,” he said calmly, “but not exactly palatable.”

Isii arched her brow, the corner of her lips quirking. “I wasn’t aware that the diet of an apostate hobo was too high brow for insects.”

His lips pursed but his expression remained otherwise unmoved. “It is not what I am accustomed to eating.”

“See?” Sera squawked. “Even he won’t eat that crap.”

“Well, I’m glad I could give the two of you something to agree on,” Isii said dryly, kneading the loose dough. “Truly an accomplishment on my part. I’m so proud. I might even tear up.”

Keep reading

Panic Button Collector

by Andrea Gibson

I check my Facebook page 36 times a day for the sole purpose of making sure I have not accidentally posted a nude photo of myself

I reread an email 13 times before pressing send to ensure I have not written something in the email that could convict me of a crime

Before taking a stage when asked if I allow flash photography I always want to say “No” because I’m terrified flash photography will give me epilepsy

I know it doesn’t work like that, still

I never eat nuts on an airplane out of fear of that I will suddenly develop a nut allergy and if I have to asphyxiate I don’t want it to happen at 30,000 feet

Twice in the last two years I’ve been aborted from an airplane for running screaming down the aisles as the plane was taking off

I can’t walk through San Francisco without worrying my indigestion is the beginning of an earthquake
I brace for tsunamis beside lakes in Colorado
I’m not joking
The last time I saw Niagara Falls I couldn’t take it
It was too much much
I had to plug my ears to look at it and close my eyes to listen

Generally I can’t do all my senses at the same time they are too much much

Like if you touch me without warning, whoever you are, it will take everything I have to not hate you

Imagine your hands are electrical sockets and I am constantly aware that I am 70% water
it’s not that I’ve not tried to build a dam

Ask my therapist who pays her mortgage
My cost of living went up
at five years old when I told my mother I have to stop going to birthday parties because every time I hear a balloon pop I feel like I’m gonna get murdered in the heart

Last year a balloon popped on the stage where I was performing, I started crying in front of the whole crowd
plugged my ears and kept repeating the word “LOUD LOUD LOUD LOUD” it was super sexy

That’s what I do
I do super sexy

Like when I asked the super cute barista 11 times ‘are you sure this is decaffeinated? Are you sure this is decaffeinated? Are you sure that’- yes I drink decaffeinated and still jitter like a bug running from the bright bright bright

I have spent years of my life wearing a tight rubber band hidden beneath my hair so my brain could have a hug

These days when no one’s looking I wear a fuzzy fitted winter hat that buttons tight beneath the chin

I only ever wear a tie so that when I convince myself I’m choking my senses have something they are certain they can blame

As a kid I was so certain I would die the way of meteor falling on my head
I would go whole weeks without looking at the sky ‘cause I didn’t want to witness the coming of my own death

I started tapping the kitchen sink seven times to build a shield

My mother started making lists of everything I thought would kill me in hopes that if I saw my fears they would disappear
Bless her heart but the first time I saw that list I started filling a salad bowl with bleach and soaking my shoe laces overnight so in the morning when I ironed them they would be so bright I would be certain I had control over
how much dark could break into my light
how much jack hammer could break into my heart
My spine it has always been a lasso that could never catch my breath

I honestly can’t imagine how it would feel to walk into a room full of people and not feel the roof collapsing on my ‘NO NO NO I am not fine’

Fine is the suckiest word
it never tells the truth

And more than anything I have ever been afraid of I am terrified of lies
How they war the world
How they sound by our tongues
How they bone dry the marrow

How did we get through high school without being taught Dr. King spent two decades having panic attacks?
Avoided Windows
Jumped at thunder

I think we are all part flight the fight
part run for your life
Part ‘please please please like me’
Part Can’t breathe
Part scared to say you’re scared
Part say it anyway

You panic button collector
You clock of beautiful ticks
You run out the door if you need to
You flock to the front row of your own class
You feather everything until you know you can always, always shake like a leaf on my family tree and know you belong here

You belong here and everything you feel is okay
Everything you feel is okay

Katy Perry Wonderland Magazine Cover Story

From playing Smurfette, to riding a life-size Egyptian horse and straddling a turd emoji rodeo – chart topping Cali girl Katy Perry is living each of her glitter tinted dreams. 

Katy Perry unzips the gusset of her shark outfit and peers into the fuzzy crotch area that’s hanging somewhere near her knees. Her famously animé wide eyes look surprised, like there should be something in there, before she quickly zips it back up and waves goodbye to the group of US Marines who have come backstage to meet her. We are backstage at her show in Vienna’s Stadthalle, a 16,000 capacity venue in the Austrian capital. Tomorrow night, Simply Red will play here. For Perry, this kind of malarkey – waving at foam-mouthed fans like she’s Queen Elizabeth trundling down Pall Mall – is business as usual. She is, after all, the reigning queen of pop. The next day we meet again, shuffling through the plush carpeted hallways of the hotel she’s staying in. She tells me the guy who just interviewed her wrote a song for her. Though I don’t have anything to compete with this, I don’t mind telling Perry I really enjoyed the huge, floating turd emoji that made its way through the audience the night before. And why wouldn’t I? Of all the emojis it’s clearly the best.

Keep reading

KENN’s Photobook ‘Nu’ Release Event Fanreports

On October 1st, KENN held a talk show event for his photobook and he posted the photo above on his Twitter afterwards ^^ I’ve compiled some of the reports from fans who went to the event here! You can also find my scans from the photobook here~


When Kenn first appeared he said, “This hat is really cool, but I’m sorry that I can’t take it off to say hello to all of you. But it’s not like I’m hiding anything underneath it!!” (He probably didn’t want to take it off in case he messed up his hair lol)

Kenn said although it was fine taking the shots after he lost weight, he needed a lot of courage to be able to take the photos before. He also knew that his fans are aware of whether he’s gained weight or was thin, and about his hairstyle and such too, so Kenn was worried about how his fans would react and whether they would still think of him as cool. But then he had these thoughts about how if they are the people who are always supporting him then they would be sure to accept him for how he was before.

Keep reading