yes mad men


Three Days of the Citadel: 3 chapters, 6352 words, illustrated

As the Reaper War rages and the Crucible enters its next stage of development, Hackett summons Shepard to the Citadel for what she thinks will be a routine business call. But he has some disturbing news about how the superweapon will actually work, and the Alliance has noticed her starting to crack as the conflict takes its toll. Between dealing with the revelation, fighting to stay at work, and getting dragged into a mystery involving a Cerberus spy, Shepard learns things are about to get much harder - and more personal.

This is a rework/expansion fic for ME3′s volus ambassador mission, trying to give it some more flesh than the brief assignment we got ingame. I also lay some of the groundwork for my headcanon ME3 ending, and there’s a hint of some future Shepard/Zaeed at the end for the shippers. Enjoy!

Read on AO3

Mad Men RP Starters
  • "It's not adorable to pretend you're not adorable."
  • "Of course I love you. I’m giving up my life to be with you, aren’t I?"
  • "Go home, take a paper bag and cut some eyeholes out of it. Put it over your head, get undressed and look at yourself in the mirror. Really evaluate where your strengths and weaknesses are. And be honest."
  • "If you don’t like what is being said, then change the conversation."
  • "No one will tell you this, but you can’t be a man. Don’t even try. Be a woman."
  • "I have been watching my life. It’s right there. I keep scratching at it, trying to get into it. I can’t."
  • "Well, one day you’re there and then all of a sudden there’s less of you. And you wonder where that part went, if it’s living somewhere outside of you, and you keep thinking maybe you’ll get it back. And then you realize, it’s just gone."
  • "You have everything. And so much of it."
  • “Can you keep it down? I’m trying to drink.”
  • “But that’s life. One minute you’re on top of the world, the next minute some secretary’s running you over with a lawnmower.”
  • “Look, I want to tell you something because you’re very dear to me and I hope you understand it comes from the bottom of my damaged, damaged heart."
  • “I don’t care what your politics are, this is America. You don’t just shoot the President.”
  • “They say as soon you have to cut down on your drinking, you have a drinking problem.”
  • "I smell creativity."
  • "Only boring people are bored."
  • "What is happiness? It's the moment before you need more happiness."
  • "How do you get to heaven? Something terrible has to happen."
  • "You say things and you don't mean them. And you can't just do that."
  • "If that's veiled criticism about me I won't hear it and I won't respond to it."
  • "Don't ever try to sell me on anything. Give me all the information and I'll make my own decisions."
  • "People tell you who they are but we ignore it because we want them to be who we want them to be."
  • "You're lonely? Get a cat. They live thirteen years, then you get another one and another one after that. Then you're done."
  • "Am I the only one who can work and drink at the same time?"

The Mad Men from UNCLE

Creative director Solo, likes scotch, money and secretaries. Sometimes he just wants to take his ladies to a long weekend at Bahamas but the job gets in the way. Also sometimes the copywriters (mostly the little German) and the art department (well, that one Russian) are so annoying that he is sure they are doing it on purpose.

Copywriter Teller, started as a secretary, but was too stubborn to stay as one. She likes car accounts because she gets to try the cars. When she’s bored she likes to loiter in the art department and watch Illya being mean to others. She also likes to drink at work and pretend that Illya is just a friend.

Photographer Kuryakin, likes when people are in time, likes to yell when they are not. Feels like the American in the upstairs is useless and his ideas mostly stupid. Likes the light at six AM and the days when Gaby comes to spend time in his room. Has serious heart eyes for her.

(Let’s not say Don, Peggy and Stan, but let’s still think about them)

Guys, I miss Boardwalk Empire.  Like, I really miss it - I miss the elaborate costuming, the breathtaking cinematography, the laughs, the tears, the cheers, the gasps.  I miss the show that combined the dialogue of Fitzgerald with the character arcs of Aeschylus.  Most of all, I miss Boardwalk Empire because it was the most Jewish show on television.

Don’t get me wrong - there is no shortage of Jewish characters on TV today.  But the Jews of Boardwalk were different.  They were street smart and book smart.  They were violent or simpering, quiet or ‘bugsy.'  Butchers, gamblers, thugs, agents.  Mad, bad, and dangerous to know.  These were real people, even the ones who weren’t.

Take Manny Horvitz, for instance.  A genial kosher butcher when we first meet him, he speaks Yiddish, refuses to kill an already injured man because of Jewish law, and he won’t stop calling Jimmy 'boychik.“  He hides out in a synagogue, for crying out loud.  But his character didn’t stop at the gimmick.  We can judge him for loving his wife while finding it so easy to kill another’s – of course we can.  Of course we can say he’s ruthless and vicious and terrifying and not a very good man.  But I can also look at Manny and see a man who my grandfather might have known as a boy on the streets of Philadelphia, and maybe I can understand my story just a little bit better.

Why do I say ‘my story,’ what do I mean?  Well, for one thing, the Jewishness of Boardwalk Empire never felt incidental.  Practicing or not, these characters were all forced to compensate for their ‘otherness’ in the Roaring Twenties.  Maybe as immigrants, maybe as established businessmen whose partners belittle them behind their backs, or wipe their hands after shaking on a deal.

And the details?  Oh, the details.  There isn’t another show that drops schnorrer or shayne punim or lag b’omer in casual conversation.  Or has its resident hitman fix a mezuzah right before sleeping with another man’s wife.  Or makes jokes about minyan.  In fact, Boardwalk Empire refused to let its Jewish characters become the butt of the joke.  Who guides Al Capone from boy to man?  Who dresses down Nucky with style and grace?  Who engineers the downfall of the Mustache Petes?  And, in the end of the day, who wins?

So when I look at Meyer Lansky forcing our protagonist to his knees, I see a character so unlike Seth Cohen or Willow Rosenberg or Rachel Berry or Felicity Smoak.  I see a character who didn’t have to suffer the fate of the yiddin on Mad Men.  Did I wait three seasons to see poor Ginzo become a punchline?  A once-promising character made grotesque and unrecognizable, and then, like Rachel, like Bobbie, like Faye and Jane and Mona, shunted aside and ushered off the show.

Not Meyer Lansky.  Not Benny Siegel.  Sure, they may not have been Nice Jewish Boys, but they mattered where it counted.

And this is why I can’t stop kvelling over Boardwalk Empire, the most Jewish show on television.