Riverdale Photo Crackcap 112
Subtitled: In Which “Dude, Guess We Screwed the Pooch Framing Your Dad and Stuff. Can You FIFU? Not That We’ll Ever Apologize, Tho…”
Wake up dude, I wanna talk about my manpain from fucking you and your dad over!!! I mean it isn’t even my fault—-Ronnie said she’d blow me if I helped. IDK what you’re mad about, your dad’s a serpent so he must’ve murdered somebody, sometime and everyone knows poors are bad, subhumans anyway!
Yes, mom…I carried on like a sleazy, smarmy ho in front of the school, enraged Betty and Jughead and framed an innocent man because somehow that’s gonna keep YOU from going to prison. I mean, you heard how shitty we sounded, right? Gotta play to my strengths or people will know how much Douchie and I suck!
I am sooooo proud of you, my bby!!! Tomorrow’s lesson is “Ponzi Schemes for Dummies”. Gotta keep the cash rollin’ in until SoDale SoPale, with views of
FP’s Prisoner 98745′s Historic Trailer is up and running!!!
Sooooo yeaaahhhhhh, Mommmmmm…..V and I totally framed Jug’s dad and now I need you to fix it AND cut my meat for me, since you’re in town. And don’t yell at me!!! Like I told this poor sitting next to me, I got a BJ outta it!!! My integrity and ethics for a blowie seems like a pretty rockin’ trade, no???
Your soul is as twisted as my plastic surgery….
YES, Betty….I might still love you AND be completely furious that you kept this from me. AND worried about my dad!
Sooooooo…..maybe a burger later at Pop’s???
Cause we all know ILY back (at this point probably more) and you didn’t tell me about the smarmy sleaze-storm that is our “best friends/disgusting assholes” V&A? And I kinda can’t go on without you?
So yeah, here I am with these two jackholes, one of whom framed my dad, one of whom is the son of the guy who probably DID the actual torture and murdering…..but I look hella good, amirite???? Is everyone enjoying looking at me/appreciating that I am seriously talented??? Yep. Knew it.
But they need to write in more scenes of me making out with my girlfriend. Cause those are the literal best. Enough angst RAS…
I don’t understand why you won’t just confess, Lackey Roscoe!!! We all know the Blossoms made you do it. I mean, look, my mom’s in her jammies, once again a fancee event was fucked….we both wanna go back to tapping our respective Jones men…but first you gotta confess so FP can be sprung and Juggie will speak to me again.
My mommy and I have needs, dammitt!!!