yellow lamp

i am holding hands with a girl at the pet store. i love how her voice changes when she speaks to different animals. round and bubbly for the angelfish, high and breathy for the calico kittens, sonorous and slithery for the python. she loves them all, even the great hairy tarantula that makes me cringe. 

i am holding hands with this girl whose halo of hair glows banana yellow under the heat lamps in the reptile section, who offers her index finger to teething kittens. she asks “can’t we have one?” in the voice she uses for only me. a voice i can’t describe without using her name, but i imagine joan of arc heard something similar the day she picked up a sword. she is still holding my hand, and i feel like i’d sink into cartoon quicksand if i let go. so i don’t.

“are you two… together?”

this is not unfamiliar, but the woman’s voice, the voice she has chosen, is angrily acidic. this woman has laced her tone with arsenic, without even a passive aggressive teaspoon of sugar to hide her poison. she inhales, puffing herself up like a frightened lizard before her final words. 

“there are children here, you know.” 

in the future, i think of a thousand things to say. we were children too. two girls holding hands after school. two girls holding hands at the movie theatre, two girls in a booth at tony’s pizza, two girls sharing awkward first kisses after two solo cups of wine in someone else’s backyard. two girls holding kittens at a pet store on a saturday afternoon. 

i know now that they see us through funhouse mirrors: distorted, disturbed, our monstrous bodies taking too much space, spoiling innocent spaces with our imposing sexualities. our innocence never ours to begin with.

even with this, there is nowhere i would rather be than holding hands with her in a pet store, with her voice like rain on a hot day, her peach lips blowing kisses for fish, her grip tightening as if to say “i dare you to take this away from me.”

my mom watched dhmis and i interviewed her on what she thought of the characters

Red Guy?

“Yarn Guy was just creepy.”

Bird Guy?

“Bird Guy was okay, I guess.”

Yellow Guy?

“He bugged me at first, but now he’s pure and I want to adopt him.”

Sketchbook?

“The notepad was the least threatening, but still very threatening.”

Tony?

“The clock danced and that was scary.”

Shrignold?

“I thought he was nice, but turns out he’s a cult master.”

Colin?

“This show made me hate computers.”

Steak Guy?

“Steak is a horrible and evil being.”

The lamp?

“The lamp was creepy. Be gone. Go in the trash.”

Roy?

“Roy should be killed.”

What are dreams?

Well, according to this drunk, psychotic lamp from the 6th episode, they are the movies that play in one’s mind every night when they’re asleep in bed.

One could dream of anything. Riding a horse and drowning in oil are only a few examples given by the teacher of this final DHMIS episode.

People might be freaking out at this series, going all “what the heck!? Why did I just waste several minutes of my precious life watching this!?”. But I think the entire series is a masterpiece, my favorite being the final episode, during Yellow Guy’s dream sequence.

*Goes away for a few days*
*Come back,has a few new followers*
Oh hey there,did not see you come by 8) 
SO
I’m leaving this Lava Lamp pony~
They have been a huge success for awhile now.
This was inspired by a sunset image ^^ 

I am open for commissions and customs! Both furry,ferals and animations~

Enjoy! 

Follow me for more cute art!

2

After I gave you that lamp, we ate at that terrible Chinese. It’s an angle-poise because you press your face too close to the page when you read and there’s never enough light. You won’t wear glasses because you say your nose is too small and with glasses you’d look like a mole which you don’t… wouldn’t. They’d suit you. You’d look just as fairly beautiful as you are. It’s yellow because you said no one wants a yellow lamp. So I thought if I got it for you in yellow then no one would steal it from your desk. I do give these things quite a lot of consideration, you see. The devil is in the detail.

Study Session

Spencer Reid x Reader (smut)

Requested: No. But, this is dedicated to the wonderful @reidoneshots because I promised rach that I would dedicate my next smut to her, and so… here it is ;)

Summary: When you’re struggling to study for you final Law exam, you decide to seek help from your unusually handsome professor…

Word Count: 1,516, Warnings: Swearing, NSFW, Oral Sex, Orgasm Denial, Unprotected Sex (wrap it before you tap it, yo)

A/N: This is a Professor!Reid x Student!Reader so if you’re like grossed out by that then I urge you to skip this fic, but other than that yeah & also I know that Reid doesn’t have a bachelor’s in Law or any affiliation with it, from what we’ve seen but I just thought it would be kinda fun.

Originally posted by hisirishsoufflegirl

You sat on your bed, books sprawled out in every corner as you attempted to take in the extensive information. You were going to take your final exam tomorrow and although you felt prepared, last minute studying was always a great option. Your professor had told you in your last session with him that you could find him on campus in his office if you needed help. “What the heck,” you sighed out, knowing that a little help couldn’t hurt.

You walked into his office and found him sitting amongst masses of essays and books. He took a moment to look up from marking, “Y/N?” he dragged his glasses off of his face, placing it on top of his book. “Hi. I was wondering if I could take you up on that study offer?” you asked setting down your things in the antique chair opposite his desk. “Of course, please sit,” he replied enthusiastically which was unusual considering it was almost 2 in the morning, “Would you like some water?” he inquired, you smiled up at the man before giving a short nod.

Keep reading