*Jaune and Cardin are sitting in front of Captain Belladonna's desk*
*is strapping a bulletproof vest on*
*is looking at Jaune confused* is that Kevlar?
Gentlemen, you're not gonna sit here *places pistol down on desk* and pretend there's not a big-ass elephant in the room.
*confused* What the fuck is going on?
*turns picture frame on desk around, revealing a photo of Blake* THIS is what the fuck is going on!
*looks at the picture confused, looks at Jaune, then back at the picture as he realizes* OH SHIT! Oh Shit! *laughs hysterically at Jaune* Oh shit! No! That is not happening right now!
*Cardin stands up and exits office*
No! *walks to coworkers, exchanging high fives* Hey ya'll he's fucking the captain's daughter! Yo! Oh my FUCK!
*as Cardin is laughing outside the office, to Jaune* Every time, he says that shit? That's another foot in your ass!
*outside office* Jaune! You clearly... yo, this is the best thing ever! *laughing* Jaune fucked the captain's daughter! *sing-song* Jaune fucked the captain's daughter! Jaune fucked the captain's daughter!
*Ghira is still glaring down at Jaune as he sits there very nervous*
*re-enters office* Shit! Fuck! *kneels next to Jaune* You fucked Captain Belladonna's daughter! What the fuck, you bragged to him to his face! To his actual face! Do you understand that this face *pointing to Ghrias angry face* right here! You bragged to that face!
*turns to Ghira* You actually high-fived Jaune for fucking your daughter? Holy Shit! Oh my God, this is...
*Ghira picks pistol up and places it back on the desk, with the barrel facing Cardin*
*composing himself* It's really not that funny.
*nervously* I just wanna say that it was bizarre not to share the fact that your daughter went to Beacon Academy...
*still glaring at Jaune* I think it's bizarre that I haven't cut your fucking nuts off.
*to Jaune* What if, Captain gets to punch you in the face, one time? Really, really, REALLY hard?
Nah, I've got something WAY better than that.
*cut to Captain Belladonna shooting a stun gun at Jaune's testicles*
stared at the tweet, chewing his lip a little in concern. It was three
days until he could get back to the Tower, and leaving Tony in a funk
that long was the last thing he wanted to do. He glanced up from his
phone at the PR people going over their map in the corner of the hotel
ballroom, ignoring the cleanup around them as they tallied up
contributors from the charity auction and solidified plans for the next
few days. One caught his eye and bounded over.
We raised an extra three million dollars tonight and get to go home early? Steve very carefully did not say.
veteran’s foundation in Dallas agreed to reschedule their brunch
fundraiser for 10am, so now we have time to do the brunch and visit the
children’s hospital tomorrow!”
“That’s great news,” Steve said,
smiling as warmly as he could. There were so many gaps to fill, so many
places where funding fell through, and he knew that every extra visit he
made would give a boost to fundraising and make a lot of people happy
for the holidays.
It wasn’t their fault that it meant he wouldn’t
have time to call Tony before the time differences and their disjointed
appointments sent them on completely different sleep schedules. He very
sternly reminded his clenched fist that it wasn’t their fault as they
pranced away to make more calls.
Steve sighed and checked his
phone again. Tony had tweeted that halfway through the charity auction,
so he was probably neck-deep in whatever issue was plaguing him and
wouldn’t appreciate a call right now. And he’d already learned his
lesson about being too affectionate over twitter, so he’d have to find
another way to cheer Tony up.
He tapped his phone against his chin as he thought, sorting through options until an idea blossomed.
There was a bird on Tony’s workbench. It was very fat, and very red, and very very much on Tony’s workbench.
stared, dumbfounded, as the bird puffed and flickered its crest and
generally went nuts dancing on his workbench. He lost track of time
staring at the wing furls and tail flips and weird hopping pattern, the
entire performance punctuated by incessant chirping. It finally quieted
down and stared back, beady black eyes gazing at him in what his tired
brain finally parsed as besotted hope.
“…WHY,” was all he could think to say.
“Female cardinals are yellow and red. You’re yellow and red, ergo, you’re a big sexy lady cardinal.”
Tony whirled around to see Sam grinning at him, holding a phone in a casual manner that absolutely meant he was filming this.
worried about your tweet from yesterday. I figured the best way to get
to the bottom of it would be” he gestured at the bird, which was
suddenly much closer to Tony’s face than it was a minute ago, “tweeting
Tony stared at Sam. Sam stared back, still grinning and filming.
was Steve’s idea, wasn’t it. This is way too cheesy to be anything but
Steve’s idea,” Tony said, throwing up his hands in surrender, the bird
taking flight from his shoulder.
“Yep,” Sam said, finally cracking
up. “Check in with your boyfriend before you angst all over the
internet!” he yelled at Tony’s retreating back as Tony absconded to
change into something less…avian.
The Falcon just introduced me to a cute little redhead. A little chubby for me but he’s got some sexy dance moves.
Steve tried to say something else but his mind was a blank. He settled
for waving his phone in Sam’s face and hoped he got the message
Sam looked completely unperturbed, shrugging off the
tweet like it wasn’t on a wrecking ball path through Steve’s happy
relationship. “What? You asked me to cheer him up, so I brought a friend
Steve’s phone chimed again with a new tweet from Tony. And don’t get me started on his singing.
gave up trying to wring a decent explanation out of Sam in favor of
bolting out of the parking garage in the Tower’s basement, headed for
the express elevator to Tony’s workshop.
Sam waited until he was out of earshot before he finally let himself crack up.
And then Sam retweeted Tony with the video he took of a cardinal trying to woo Iron Man, everyone agreed to not take twitter seriously, and Steve absolutely did not glare down a bird for making a move on his fella. The end.
Not a true species of cardinal but a species of tanager (Thraupidae) that is occurs in Argentina, Brazil and Paraguay. Yellow cardinals typically inhabit dry savanna, tropical or temperate shrubland, and grasslands. Like other tanagers G. cristata feeds mainly on grains and seeds but is known to feed on small invertebrates and fruit as well. Yellow cardinals are mainly solitary but are known to form pairs and even large flocks. Male yellow cardinals are extremely territorial and will attempt to drive out any other male that enters his territory.
Currently Gubernatrix cristata is listed as endangered and faces threats mainly from trapping for the pet trade and habitat loss.
…a species of “Cardinal-tanager” (Paroaria spp.) which is known to occur in Brazil, Paraguay, Bolivia, and northern Argentina. It has also been introduced to the island of Hawai’i. Yellow-billed cardinals typically inhabit and breed in moist shrubland and other densely wooded areas. P. capitata is fairly similar in appearance to the similar P. coronata but lacks the distinct crest that P. coronata possesses.
“…I was only just thinking of those chalk drawings we used to do on the paving stones. Yours were so wonderful. Remember when you made each one a different animal?”
“Yeah. Pigs and cats and things,” says Peeta. (Mockingjay, p. 189)
I want to thank @burkygirl, @booksrockmyface, and @randomthoughtsforfuturereference for being lovely people, taking the time to look at my work, and make it better. You guys rock!
There was nothing six-year-old Katniss Everdeen liked better than going out into the woods with her dad.
Every Sunday morning Katniss woke up at the crack of dawn. Her father’s warm hands tenderly brushed the hair away from her face as she lay in bed, welcoming her back from the land of dreams.
Dashiell Everdeen smiled as his daughter stretched lazily between the sheets, and hummed softly as he carried her into his room, where she changed into her hunting clothes without waking her baby sister.
Cold, crisp air, thick with dew, kissed Katniss’s cheeks when she stepped out onto the unlit street.