The signs while driving:
  • Aries:*yells at inanimate objects that can just fuck off*
  • Taurus:okay if I just close my eyes... Oh wait I can't close my eyes
  • Gemini:*drives with both feet* why do they tell you not to do this in drivers Ed? It works just fine...?
  • Cancer:omg I think I just got that skunk OMG omg omg I'm a horrible person
  • Leo:yeah bitch I got this oh shit maybe not
  • Virgo:*used blinker in the neighborhood*
  • Libra:*visits car wash obsessively*
  • Scorpio:no my car does not smell like sex I bought it and it already smelled
  • Sagittarius:everyone told me this would be hard??? It's not???
  • Capricorn:fuck man can I teleport instead?
  • Pisces:*hotboxes*
Rucas- One-shot

Riley woke to the sound of her new husband yelling profanities at an inanimate object.

She laughed, feeling the sheets of their hotel bed with her fingers.

“Need some help?” She called, fiddling with the wedding ring that sat new on her finger.

“They gave us a broken waffle maker!” Lucas yelled trying to work the kitchen appliance the hotel had supplied.

It currently wouldn’t close and the mixture was spilling out the sides.

Lucas was just about to give up when Riley sauntered out of the bedroom, she wore a short black Victoria Secret night gown.

His eyes just about burst from his head, she looked amazing.

Laughing Riley took Lucas’s hand in her own.

“You have to flip this switch.” Riley explained guiding him to the spot and using pressure to make his hand hit the button.

Lucas always loved the way Riley’s hands felt against his skin. She had an amazingly soft touch.

Lucas turned around and kissed Riley softly. “Show off.” He murmured against her lips.

She pulled away laughing. “You’re just jealous of my amazing cooking skills.” She said pulling out two perfectly cooked waffles.

She placed them on plates and wiped the mess from around the side of the waffle maker.

“That’s how it’s done.” She smirked moving toward Lucas. He was shirtless only wearing a pair of black boxers.

Matching! She thought childishly.

She placed her hands in his chest and he looked at her with complete bedazzlement.

“How in the world did you-” he began but he was cut off by Riley kissing him passionately.

He wrapped his hands around her waist, feeling the skin under her night gown.

She laughed kissing him again. She wanted to soak up every last bit of Lucas she could before they left,

The were in Paris after all.

“May we return to the honeymoon suite?” Lucas asked, his kisses trailing down Riley’s neck.

She suppressed a moan. “Our waffles will get cold.” She laughed quietly.

“Does it look like I care?” Lucas replied scooping her into his arms and carrying her bridal style into the bedroom.


Riley pulled her jacket closer around her, it was so cold in Europe.

Lucas laughed at her chattering teeth and wrapped his arms around her.

“Better?” He asked gazing at her like she was what made the sun rise in the morning. He always looked at her like this, like she was special, important.

Riley smirked. “Not yet.” She replied taking her cold hands and placing them under the hem of his shirt.

His warm skin warmed her hands. “Better.” She laughed kissing him softly.

Lucas, being a good guy surrendered, letting her use his flat stomach as a heater. “Glad you’re warm.” He joked kissing her softly.

They’d been inseparable since they arrived in Paris 4 days ago, it was incredible, the atmosphere was that of love and chocolate. Riley smiled goofily, she’d always loved chocolate.

“Babe look there’s the Eiffel Tower!” Lucas called, grabbing her attention.

She smiled. “I’ve always wanted a picture in front of the Eiffel Tower!” She exclaimed speeding up her walking.

“Riles slow down!” Lucas laughed, he being dragged by Riley’s excitement.

And then they were standing in front of the Eiffel Tower. “Yaaaay!” Riley exclaimed using her usual excited tone.

“Photo?” She asked biting her lip excitedly.

“Photo!” Lucas laughed taking his phone from his pocket.

Riley handed Lucas’s phone to a stranger who’d agreed to take a photo of them, they were both smiling but at the last minute Riley turned, placing a soft kiss on Lucas’s lips.

The camera snapped, getting the beautiful picture that Riley had always imagined.

“Bonjour Lucas!” Riley laughed, taking the phone back from the stranger and returning to his arms.

“Bonjour Riley,” he began, wrapping his strong hands around her waist again.

“Peut-étre un jour moi et yous serez Paris à ensemble.” He spoke fluently, gazing into her eyes.

Riley smiled; she knew what the meant.

Maybe one day, me and you will be in Paris together.

She laughed at the memory, kissing him again. She’d never believed she’d end up marrying Lucas let alone going to Paris with him.

But here they were;

Together in Paris.

Embarrassment meme

Send me, “Well, this is awkward…” and I’ll generate a random number [1-30] to see what my muse’s reaction is to your muse catching them… —
      - [Will reroll if NSFW option is rolled but not desired.]

  1. Singing loudly into an inanimate object as if it’s a microphone.
  2. Yelling at an inanimate object for not functioning properly.
  3. Carrying out a full conversation with an animal and answering for them.
  4. Eating food off of a dish on the floor like a dog.
  5. Practicing their ‘mad kung-fu skills’ by themselves.
  6. Getting scared by their own reflection in a nearby mirror/object.
  7. Yelling or screaming on the top of their lungs because they ‘just need to let it out’.
  8. Laying on the floor in an odd place, wrapped in a blanket.
  9. Tripping up/down the stairs.
  10. Masturbating. Loudly.
  11. Singing along to a children’s show. Alone.
  12. Having sex.
  13. Hitting themselves with an object because they can’t get it to work.
  14. Throwing an object across the room out of frustration.
  15. Playing with a homemade (cardboard) Ouija Board, just to see if it works.
  16. Singing along with the radio while they do house work.
  17. Tripping over a mess they should have cleaned ages ago.
  18. Trying on someone else’s clothes.
  19. Playing with makeup, making themselves look ridiculous on purpose.
  20. Sitting on the kitchen floor, humming a tune, and overindulging in ice cream.
  21. Accidentally having fallen asleep on the floor somewhere.
  22. Having a tea party with their imaginary friend(s), or stuffed animal(s).
  23. Sliding down the stairs on a cushion/in a laundry basket, then wiping out and rolling the rest of the way down.
  24. Pretending to be a rock start or a movie star, loved by many.
  25. Pretending to walk a catwalk/be a fashion model.
  26. Struggling to climb through a window after accidentally locking themselves out of their house.
  27. Having locked themselves out of their house in nothing but their undergarments/a bathrobe.
  28. Dancing enthusiastically along to a song.
  29. Pretending that they’re a jedi.
  30. Desperately trying to put something back together after taking it apart out of boredom/curiosity.

I was Lookin at a cute man a lot today and he noticed and I was like yesssss. But then I heard him yelling extremely angrily at inanimate objects he was having trouble with throughout the night and it terrified me and I was like nooooooo. Cause the way he sounded just idk. Pls don’t notice me anymore. Lol