Concept: The Batfamily makes an effort to cover Tim, Cass, and Damian’s eyes during scary, inappropriate, and sad parts in movies
These three are by far the youngest and most innocent of the batkids, so it’s become a thing that if there are inappropriate scenes in movies the family members sitting closest to them will just throw a hand over their eyes in order to preserve their innocence. Damian always gets pissed because “I’m not a child, Grayson, I’m perfectly mature enough to watch a movie you imbecile”, though this was proven false when they all watched Old Yeller and Damian burst into tears at The Part. Tim also gets irritated, especially when he and Steph were watching a movie and there was a part with partial nudity so she covered his eyes and insisted that he was too pure to watch such things. Tim didn’t really fight it, so bottom line is Tim has accepted his fate by now and has come to terms with the fact that he can’t watch movies normally if he’s around the Batfam. Cass, on the other hand, doesn’t even care. Like once the family was watching a horror movie together, when suddenly Bruce grabbed her and threw an arm over her eyes, claiming it was too scary and he didn’t want her traumatized for life. But Cass found it sweet that her dad cared, so she just lets everyone do this from now on even though she’s killed people before so this is nothing new.
Ol Yeller and I made it to the moon! 🌙 I checked the odometer this morning and we’re just a little over 238.9k miles! Bringing new meaning to the phrase ‘I love you to the moon and back.’ Now that we’ve got her there, time to work on heading back 💘
Aries: Boi, looking like a mad toddler who just lost their red power ranger. Boi, asking for an adult but but really what you need to do is read a motherfucking book. Boi, walking around here like you run shit but really you just stepped on some. Head ass lurking in the shadows just waiting for someone to lit yo wanna-be Goku ass up. Angry looking self. Looking like the next care bear head ass. “Call me Petty the Panda”, head ass. Claiming that you know everything but don’t even know how to spell ‘spaghetti’, head ass. Always wanting to turn little shit into a fucking competition, pumped like Sonic shit. Always doing shit you know you shouldn’t be doing in the first place, risk-taking-at-the-wrong-time fuck. Don’t know how to accept that your wrong sometimes, stubborn ass boy.
Taurus: Got em’. Always talking about ‘I told you so’ but you really should be saying ‘I didn’t know’ head ass. ‘Stubborn till the day I die’ looking self. Don’t know the answer but still front like you do, wise yeller ass fool. Telling others you pity the fool but really they pity you, head ass. Talking about “presh off the runway” but really, “phresh until Monday” there-is-always-a-sale looking self. Never lets go of petty shit, head ass. Has everything that anyone has ever done wrong to them on the back of a Baskin Robbins’s napkin their back pocket. Claiming somebody on the Internet who don’t even know yo under-a-rock head ass. Don’t even feel like moving to get the remote next to you, lazy ass self.
Gemini: Mother fucka’. You talk too much. Your breath has killed my eyebrows and eyelashes hair’s cells and got me looking like fucking Voldemort in this hoe. You need some breath mints and some holy water because that mouth need Jesus. Keep breathing through that nose, thirst trapping ass. Keep asking about someone’s life only to use that shit on them an hour later, nosy self. Talking about “fuck these hoes” but really it’s “nobody has to know” head ass. Type to not to want to upset someone but #FuckBoiiii appears to ruin it. Make up some shit and forget that you did a week later, trouble making self. Start drama on fucking Club Penguin, head ass. Make a sim called “Thotnatisha SuccGreen” and fuck everyone on the street, hoe self. #ThotNation Got two phones for weed selling and your so called hoes. But really it’s your Momma and she want her money by tonight or she kicking your no-rent-ass-paying out.
Cancer: OOOH, now I’m bout to get you. Always asking “what are we?” when you dead ass know the answer, insecure self. Moods be shifting faster than how many times can Spongebob cry you a sweater, emotional self. Playing bitches faster than Mario Kart, head ass. Is the glass half empty, or not, pessimistic self. Can’t even trust your own reflection, always on the look out fuck. Quit ridding on so many people’s dicks who don’t give two shits about your clingy self. Quick to play that innocent card when you get confronted on some shit, Barney the Dinosaur ass child. Crying to that one song you heard when you were dating that one girl from Build-A-Bear Workshop Online and you caught her in a bed with some other person, lonely self. Don’t even hit someone up on their funeral unless you know they really dead, stay on the suspect ass. Thinking you got mad haters but really its the same one bitch who be commenting “You ugly skank ass hoe” on your IMVU profile since 2008.
Leo: Bout to light your fake circus looking wig on fire, bitch. Mad disrespectful when it comes to that big ass pride of yours. Not afraid to bite someone but more scared of what they got, drama starting ass.Telling mad lies about some bitch you don’t know of, but she apparently got beef so you gotta Chief Keef. Lips looser than an IKEA desk chair, mother fuck. Keep telling yourself that people will wait on you head and toe, watch how fast you lose followers on Twitter, you ‘but-i’m-almost-famous’ ignorant self. Demand all you want, that crown looking mighty rusty, fam. Rolling in the deep, but you actually rolling with the sheep, following trends like its the Barbie, sheep self. Skull thicker than a thick bitch doing squats at 24Hour Fitness, stubborn self. Don’t care if you don’t like this like that or them like the way they are. Fix your eyebrows before you come for me, hoe. Eyebrows looking like they lift pigeons, wanna be thug self.
Virgo: Bro, oh my God- no body cares bruh. You stay getting on other people about fixing their lives but yo dumpster living ass has no fucking say! Keep assuming that bull shit and which your ass get mistaken for a real life Patrick the Starfish. How is that ego of yours? Still buried under all the amount of shit that comes out of your mouth, “i’m super-man!’ head ass. Keep judging other’s like you aren’t the type to throw it back on a bro on Saturday and praise the Lordt ™
on a Sunday. Bro, ain’t no body perfect so stop with the bull shit, and come down from those raggy ass stairs you sit your raggy ass ‘throne’ upon and come fuck with these hands if you wanna. Bro, The Starkeisha Cheer Team song, I”’m Petty”, was made just for your life fam. Stop getting mad when these hoes pull a ‘you’ on you’. Type to play mind games, but get made when you get CRISS CROSSED, meme looking self. Pull out game getting stronger and stronger even though you know damn well this girl setting your ass smooth the fuck up. YOU ARE THE FATHER.
Libra: Words itself, can not explain how fed up I am with you. You keep asking for advice knowing your ass isn’t gonna listen in the first place. Non-listening self. Like, do you mother fuckers comprehend the word “no”? Like is it in y’all vocabulary? NO, MEANS, NO NO NO. NO NO NO NO. Bro, that word can save you from all this little shit your dumb ass think there-could always-be-peace, dumb self. Choking on that dick of self-improvement, huh? Open your fucking eyes, and take off those damn rose sunglasses because shit is about to get real as fuck the minute you get out of high school. Acting like life is a anime- bitch, your grades won’t automatically improve with every time senpai looks at you! Ain’t nobody care more about you then you do- all these little friends and squads you so called got will eventually leave your ass in the dust. Talking about “Oh, my bitches got me” hoe, your bitches are now free while you still trying to get a ‘get-out-of-free-card’ they apparently got for you. It’s been 7 months, and your still in jail. Start making moves with your not-wanting-undesirable-traits head ass. Bitch you ain’t perfect. Wipe that fake smile off your fucking face. Wanna be ‘bad and boujee’ but really you ‘sad and lonely’, fake self. Flip a coin on your grades, careless self. And learn that just because you do one small thing for someone, doesn’t mean that they fucking owe you their loyalty. Balance is the key, head ass. Wanna be Judge Judy, underdeveloped self. Can’t take a hint, in-denial self.
Scorpio: (We have our regularly scheduled meeting at 2:00 AM. See your ass then.)
Sagittarius: You literally are the reason why roasts were even properly termed and noted- fam, WHAT IS YOUR LIFE? You stay acting like your doing all this crazy and fun shit, but bitch. You just blow stories up to make your ass sound better. Wanna be ‘Wild and Out’ but really your barely on the same level of American Ninja.Your not even that fucking wild to begin with- you just say some wild and or stupid shit, at times. When your not being a little irresponsible fuck or being a cocky cunt because you got into some lame’s pants- your pretty dope to talk to. But see, see- you and that mouth again. You claim not to care but then your ass get mad when some hoe don’t call you back on Tuesdays after 11 PM. Always on stand by to fight, but never on stand by to get right, head ass. Keep fucking with those types that bring you down and anyone who doesn’t think like you do is apparently stupid. Keep up that same argument with yourself, and see how fast catch these hands, fam. Told your teacher that you want to be a brick wall when you grow up, head ass. Your problem not mine, tactless ass self. Tell a bitch what you want her to do, but won’t listen to what she want you to do, selfish self. Say your single and your not dating, but claiming three hoes on campus, fuck boy in some cargo shorts during February dumb self. Also getting angry when things don’t go your way, toddler power self. They call you, ‘Closer to hell’ more then they call your actually name, always-hitting-my-arm-while-you-laugh violent self. Threaten me on the daily but won’t put on the chef hat to cook this beef.
Capricorn: Bet your the type to cheat on Tic-Tac-Toe, mother fucker. Looking like someone fucked up your taxes last year and now you don’t even trust your own momma, head ass boy! Bet your ass was born with a checklist in hand, to see who the fuck woke you up, grumpy old man self. “Well I can do bad all by my self” bitch did anyone ask?! Stay being distant with your Dora the Explorer head ass, fam. Ain’t no body got the time to sit here and figure your shit out. Only fuck with somebody if they got the goods or you just like being better then they ass, ego-self-boosting fucker. Claim you got the keys, but really all you got is this Wii wheel. Driving towards a better future head ass. Failure isn’t an option when really you live in denial, controlling self. Be the type to plan out your unborn daughter’s whole life, don’t want any surprises self. Try to control the world, yet can’t even control they own life head ass. Stuck in the 90s head ass. Doesn’t even have beef, the fool got that unseasoned chicken breasts.
Aquarius: I’m lost for words, yo- you really are a reckless son of a bitch. Are you even fucking here right now? Bet your planning on your next escape from your momma’s house, huh? Calling up your home boy to come smoke you out at 3 AM, but get mad when he calls for a ride to Walmart to get some groceries, selfish ass. Talking about how you got the squad to back your ass up, but the minute the cops pull around they running faster than you can even sing y’all anthem. Minute you start getting roasted, they laughing with them. Keep claiming that your rebellious and just so weird. Watch your ass be in the back alley of a club, throat deep on a guy name Ashley who is feeding you lies to boost that overconfident ass ego. Young, wild and free, head ass. But your really Dumb, broke, and over that show Glee. Yo, do you even know how to fucking not do something? Is your whole life a dare? Nah, its not wanna be edgy ass fool. Don’t know how to love but wants it, contradicting self. Unpredictable because you scared of real life, escapist chimpanzee.
Pisces: I’m ready for your fake ass. YOU. ARE. NOT. INNOCENT. You’ve done some how do you say shady ass shit, fam. Don’t even act like your ass didn’t laugh when your friends or even family do something or have something terrible done to them. Two face looking rainbow monkey self. Cry over split milk, baby self. Cry over being angry, matter of fact. Using people but get mad about being used, sensitive self. Wanna be dark and emo but can barely say no to someone who wants money. Saying you don’t have a soul, but got upset over that old cat dying in front of your living room window, caring self. Claiming that nobody knows you yet posts mad shit about your life on the internet. Wanna be that cool dude in school so you backstab the fuck out of your close circle to fuck some prep or jock to just end back right where you were freshmen year. Stupid and alone. Learning life lessons from cartoons when you really should be fixing that resume. Claim you understand but really you don’t give a damn. Go smoke and try to explain life to a tree, dead ass boy. Fuck you and your bull shit.