• Clown Fuckers: Yep, we know.
  • Anti Clown Fuckers: Yeah but did you know he is an interdimensional alien creature whose only desire is to feed?? Lololol
  • Clown Fuckers: Yeeeeep, we know.
  • Anti Clown Fuckers: W-well... okay, but he doesn’t WANT to fuck you! He wants to murder you!
  • Clown Fuckers: *whispering* Yep. We know.

@irlaimsaaralath‘s prompt! Romantic Lyric prompts, 48: I should tell you, I’m disaster.

“I’m a disaster.” 

it slipped out suddenly, Cullen standing with Lydia on the battlements in one of their precious few moments alone. When it registered what he said, she frowned. 

“Maybe in the past.” 

“And not now?” 

She sighed. “Well. I know I was critical of your past.”

He deserved it, he felt. After Hawke told her the full extent of what happened, Lydia, frustrated and upset, went on a tirade in the garden to him. Called him a coward. And he knew afterward he shouldn’t still feel the way he felt about her, but he did anyway. 

And now, he had to remind himself, he had her. Or at least, he hoped he did and this wasn’t some sort of waking dream. Sometimes in his mind there was a constant pulling. A pulling of, I am falling for her, and she wants me. Be with her. Try. There were also thoughts of mage. Templar. Wrong. 

Ex templar

But he still couldn’t change the past.

“Your a disaster? I’m a disaster,” she said flippantly. “I fell for you, knowing everything. But I also know you’re very brave.” 

She wrapped her arms around him. “You aren’t a coward,” she promised. “You admit what you did and said was wrong. And I don’t think you ever hated mages. You were afraid, after Kinloch. And you went to Meredith. She fueled your paranoia, instead of helping you heal. But what amazes me…” She whispered in his ear. “You began to heal yourself.” 

“I’m still healing,” he admitted. 

“I know,” she said. “I know you still remember. You still say things that are…problematic, perhaps. But every day you become better. And you want to be with me. And you’ve seen the worst mages have to offer.” 

“But whatever I fear in magic, I see none of that in you.” 


Her scolding tone surprised him. “What is it? What…?” 

“You can’t other me from the rest,” she said simply. 

“I wasn’t,” he said, sighing and gathering himself. “All I meant was, the things I fear are the abuse of magic. Magic destroying the world. And you…” 

“Have control?” 

At his nod, she sighed. “And some don’t,” she stated. “Look what happens to them.” 


“Please don’t ever say that the rite of tranquility is a mercy.” 

He felt stupid, when she removed herself from him. “Look,” she continued, crossing her arms. “I know…ah. Actually, I don’t know what I know. Just that you make me crazy.” She gave a wry smile. “In the best way, as well as in the other way.” 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m trying. To be better. I am. If that’s not enough–”

“Cullen. You…hm. Maker.” 

Unable to find the right words, she removed that stubborn lock of hair from his forehead, smoothing it away with her fingers, before standing on her tiptoes to kiss his forehead. “Look. You are getting better. Trying,” she began. “So many people wouldn’t. So many people would have just let life break them. I don’t care what anyone else says and believes. I find you extraordinary. Not a disaster. A disaster wouldn’t get up every day, remembering the things that you said and did, and have the will to try and change. You care about people. You want to protect them. You care about me and want to be with me. I know your past. I still want to be with you, because for some inane reason that I can’t quite make out…” she drew a long, lingering kiss from him. It made him dizzy and weak, and sent him floating to the clouds. “….everything is alright when I’m in your arms. Talking with you is easy. You make me laugh. You see me as a woman who is your equal. And…” another kiss. “The thought of not having you by my side is frankly inconceivable.” 

“As long as you want me,” he took her hand. “I am yours.” 

“Do you promise?” 

He sealed it with a kiss. “Of course. I promise.”

He still felt the disaster. But not when he was with her.

Wanderer - Jared Leto x Reader Imagine

AUTHOR’S NOTE; Thank you for the request lovely! @imokay-imokay I am unaware if you wanted fluff or what so I just kind of winged it. I really hope it’s to your liking and I hope it’s ok! Please feel free to give me some feedback, message me ^_^ I didn’t mean to make it this long either it was actually supposed to be pretty short but I suck and it came out long haha. 

The distant sound of water hit your ears with the most delectable of sensations and you could feel yourself growing more and more excited at the fact that you were out in the middle of nature. You had been dying to go on this hike for over a month with Jared, but with his schedule being more hectic than a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving, you didn’t really have a chance to do it. You had originally planned to go alone during a good summer morning, but Jared insisted that you two go together since he knew the trail’s best spots. 

You may have been immensely softened by the idea of him wanting to go hiking with you, but you were keenly aware of how fragile he thought you were. His original purpose of going on this hike with you was to ensure that you didn’t get lost or hurt on your own. Jared Leto was an artist, a musician, an actor and an entrepreneur but he was also a very bad liar. 

Throughout most of your time on the trail you found him stealing long glimpses at you that you wanted to chalk up to possible admiration, but you knew better. He was keeping an eye on you to make sure you didn’t fall, trip, stumble, step on a rattle snake, or possibly end the world by taking a short breath. He was so over dramatic.

The sound of his camera lens caught you off guard and when you turned to face him he was glancing down at its screen as if you weren’t even there. You liked this side of him and more importantly you missed this side of him. He was usually so caught up in his career or his band that he never really got out like he used to. You couldn’t remember the last time he said he was going hiking or climbing, but you were glad he had finally said something. 

Your attentions were pulled away from him as you glanced around the grassy plain, and you were surprised when your eyes caught the mystic forest more than 15 feet to your right. Jared’s true interests lied in landscapes and high peak, but you personally enjoyed more of the forest atmosphere because it made you feel more at peace. This is usually where you two were put at a crossroads due to your distaste for heights and his passion for getting his way. 

Your slow wander for the forest was halted by the feeling of his hand on your forearm, and your eyes fixated on him with unease. 

“What are you doing?” He questioned and you raised a brow. 

“Headed for the trail.” You answered using your thumb to point in the direction of the forest that was now behind you. He glanced over your shoulder for a moment before returning his eyes to you.

“There is no trail in there, it’s just a forest.” He stated and you shrugged.

“So…?” You questioned in response before tugging at your forearm that he kept locked within his grasp. 

“So? You’re just gonna….run around in the woods by yourself?” He questioned while allowing the outrage and disapproval to shine clearly in his voice. 

“I’ve gone hiking by myself before, J. I’m not some barbie doll princess who needs her hand held to walk through the woods.” You chuckled slightly even though you were slightly annoyed by his response. 

“You’ll get hurt by yourself. Here, let me finish up some photos and I will go with you.” He answered tilting his camera to the side and releasing your arm. 

“Are you kidding?” You questioned only to have his eyes return to yours in a look of confusion. You couldn’t stop your annoyance from bubbling over as he stared at you through eyes of ignorance. Did he really believe you were that fragile that you couldn’t do for yourself? How many trails had you gone on without him because he was on tour or too busy engulfed in his work to spend time with you? How many times had you gotten lost only to have Shannon or your own friends fish you out and show you the way while he was gone? 

“I can manage on my own. What do you think I do when you’re not around, cower in a corner some where? You disappear for months on end touring with your band and acting, are you worried about me then too or is this something you just developed?” You asked sarcastically while snatching your arm away from him. 

“You have no idea what’s in there, and i’m just trying to help you. I said you’re not going in there by yourself and I mean that. We’ll both go.” He stated. You raised a brow and scoffed. Was he not listening?

“No, I’m going by myself if that’s ok with you dad.” You answered setting your chin and rolling your eyes. 

“You didn’t even come out here for me, you came out here for you. This wasn’t about spending time with me, it was about you watching over me like some authority figure. Well no thanks, I’ll call Shannon if I need help because he seems to be the only one that shows up when I call.” You raged. 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” He questioned, and the hiss behind his voice was clear. You shrugged unapologetically as you walked backwards towards the forest only to fully turn around and leave him there. You were surprised when he didn’t come after you, but more than anything you were glad he didn’t. The sound of your name echoed through the distance but you didn’t answer. 

You needed a chance to cool off and you knew that if he’d followed you, you’d have said something you knew would hurt him. You couldn’t lie, the Shannon comment was a low blow but what hurt the most is that it was true. Some how Shannon always came to get you when you got hurt or lost while Jared was always some how “unavailable” or trying to “stay out of the public eye” which did nothing but piss you off further. 

Truth be told, you felt like some well kept secret when it came to him because he was always so hell bent on keeping his personal life under wraps from everyone, including you. It was like he wasn’t there even when he was, and moments like this where you were supposed to be together were always spent apart. He didn’t bring you here to spend time with you like he said, he brought you here because he knew you were coming and didn’t want you to get lost or hurt. They were not the same thing. 

Your legs stomped below you lifelessly as you made your way through the thickness of the forest and you chuckled at the fact that you had spent more than 15 minutes in it already and hadn’t realized it. You had stomped off so quickly that you didn’t manage to remember your path, but at the moment that didn’t concern you.

“What a fucking asshole. Bring me on a hike because you plucked up the common sense to want to spend time with me NOT because you want to watch me. Like what the actual fuck? Is it too much to want your boyfriend to pay attention to you, or was I fucking cracked?” Your grumbled angrily as you continued to stomp through the dryness of the forest floor. You tried to wrap your mind around it but you simply couldn’t. 

Your time was mostly spent gazing at the plants that you crossed paths with and admiring the trees. Trees were always your favorite because people tended to underestimate them. Trees started out as small plants, but eventually they grew in stature to become one of our main resources for shade, air, and other much needed organics. If memory serves right, they were actually the first bringers of life, before women of course. Trees were able to create fruit, fruit is a living substance, so technically trees were mothers long before humans were. This fact made them extremely fascinating to you. Add that, to the common conception that the souls of trees have lived longer than 400 hundred years, and you’ve created a fascination for them for yourself. 

It wasn’t until the darkness came that you realized how late it had actually gotten, and you immediately turned towards your cell phone. No signal. That wasn’t much of a surprised, but if you could find a bar or two you could at least text someone to let them know you were fine. Your stubborn ideals knew no bounds and you found yourself refusing to text anyone but Jared. 

Your fingers wrapped elegantly around the base of your phone as you held it up towards the sky in an attempt to gain some form of a signal. You absently wandered hoping to see a line or two but found yourself trapped by a tree root that snagged your foot. You hurled towards the ground faster than you could catch yourself, and the ruthless scrape to your knee caused you to groan. The pain wasn’t too bad, but it still stung more than you’d have liked. The small smell of copper in the air informed you that you were bleeding, but you refused to look at it. Blood wasn’t exactly your favorite thing in the world to see.

Pushing your hand down in the direction of the pain, you felt the liquid hit your fingers with a warm after tone. It was a scrape and it didn’t feel serious. Standing to your feet, you dusted yourself off and proceeded to look through your pockets for some form of a cloth to cover the injury. It didn’t take long for you to find a cloth in your bag and without any hesitation you wrapped it around your knee to stop whatever bleeding you had. 

Returning to your phone, you smiled when you saw that there was a signal. You searched for Shannon’s name and began typing. Your eyes stayed glued to the screen for some form of a response only to find that the message was not going through. Sighing deeply, you found his name once more and clicked call. It rang twice before he answered. 

“Shan?” you questioned.

“Yeah, what’s up, where are you?” He questioned. 

“I’m in the woods, on a trail. Just hiking.” you answered.

“You lost?” he chuckled and you frowned. 

“No….it’s just dark and I got separated from J, but i’m ok. Just needed a favor?” You chimed in.

“You need me to come get you?” He questioned and you nodded.

“Yeeeeep.” you answered adding a small squeak to your voice. 

“I’m on my way. Send me the GPS and meet me on the outskirts.” He demanded before hanging up the phone. It was strange, it didn’t sound like himself but you dismissed it. 

Your small walk back to the clearing took you longer than you expected, but it was refreshing nonetheless. The small puttering of an engine caught your ear and you smiled. A small glance down at your watch caused you to smile as you realized it wasn’t too late at night, but still early enough to get food.

You found yourself in slight shock when Jared emerged from the car and Shannon was no where to be found. 

“What are you doing here?” You questioned while folding your arms across your chest. He didn’t answer, but continued to walk toward you. 

“Where is Shannon?” You asked.

“He’s not here, and he’s not coming.” He stated simply stopping a few feet away from you. 

“I don’t wanna fight right now, I know… you’re always right. That what you wanna hear?” You question only to have his eyebrow cock in response. His features fixed into an expression that you’ve never seen before and it radiated with the sense of rage and concern. You attempted to walk passed him only to have his fingers graze the inside of your elbow.

“Oh blow me.” He answered angrily before turning away from you. 

Your eyes were confused as they graced his face, but he was unaffected by your stare. His cologne still lingered but it couldn’t hide the small of alcohol on his breath. Poor man, he was so worried that you had drove him to drink. 

“And your drunk. That’s ….that’s exactly what I need.” you answered but he scoffed. 

“I’ll walk home.” You continued while pulling away from him only to have him tighten his grasp on your arm. You groaned in protest but he still didn’t let you go. 

“You’er done making decisions for today. Get in the car.” He grumbled, and although he spoke casually it felt as if he was screaming at you on the inside. You opened your mouth to say no only to have him actually scream at you.

“Get in the fucking car!” You shivered in response and felt yourself recoil from him. 

“What is your problem?” You asked scolding him. 

“My….My problem? You disappear for hours in the middle of mother fucking no where and i’m the one with the problem? Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been or did you just not care?” He questioned. Before you could respond, he continued.

“Of course you didn’t care because that would mean you actually consider someone else’s feelings when you make decisions. There are rattlesnakes out there, you’re allergic bees; what if you were stung? Do you have a pen on you in those pretty little blue jean shorts? Do you?” He questioned while releasing your arm and pulling at your blue jean pockets.

“Stop it!” You protested slapping his hands away. 

“You don’t, do you because that would require responsibility something you seem to keep struggling with!” He yelled and you pushed him. 

“Oh fuck you. How dare you lecture me about responsibility mister i’m only around 1 month at a time. You’re so goddamn scared of responsibility that you can’t even tell tabloids you’re dating someone, and don’t even get me started on your back. You think you’re fooling anyone? Pulling out a cane and a knee brace doesn’t fix the problem. I saw your x-rays and your doctor’s notes. You’re not even supposed to be out here hiking, or twirling around on stage like you’re doing yet some how you are. Dunking yourself in ice baths isn’t going to keep working, and god forbid you check in with me to tell me if you’re ok. I barely even hear from you when you’re out there, so fuck that. Those in glass huts Mr. Leto.” You countered only to have him grab your chin. 

“That is not the same.” he hissed and you rose a brow. 

“Of course not, because when it’s you, it’s always different right?” You question and he narrowed his eyes.

“No, it’s different because I have Shannon, Tomo and an entire time around me to help me with anything that I need. While you wander into the woods equipped with nothing but a stupid phone that has no signal and can die at any moment. The difference is what you did was stupid and reckless and you don’t even care how it affects other people. You don’t care how it affects me. Then you call Shannon, SHANNON? Shannon is not your boyfriend, Shannon is not the one who was pacing around furious and worried about you. you are mine and you should have called me.” He grumbled releasing your chin and you couldn’t help your slight feeling of guilt. 

“I am a capable person, and for some reason everyone knows it but you. I was an independent, strong, and capable person before I met you, and I still am. So, do you have any idea how it makes me feel when you compare me to a brainless child? Well it pisses me off, obviously, but you still do it. So who isn’t considering who’s feelings here?” you question only for him to laugh. 

“I never said you were brainless, but to say you aren’t stubborn and childish would be a lie. My back, is fine. I do my checkups and I take care of myself because i have responsibilities and obligations. I wont stop what I enjoy because of a little pain that I know I can maintain. You, intentionally called Shannon knowing that it would just piss me off more, and you know I was worried beyond reason wondering if you were ok. I had all these thoughts about you being bitten by something, or falling some where and legit hurting yourself only for you to call Shannon and completely ignore me knowing that I was waiting to hear from you.” He stated and you frowned. 

“Oh, what’s a matter? You were so proud of yourself before.” He taunted. You folded your arms across your chest and rolled your eyes. You were aware that he had a point, but you would not admit it. 

“Yeah well, you’re still an ass hole.” You answer shrugging. 

“Don’t ever, do that to me again.” He demanded, and although he seemed more calm than before, his tone was serious. 

You mumbled an ‘ok’ only to have him chuckle. 

“Oh i’m going to punish you. Don’t worry.” he urged while wrapping his arm around your waist forcefully and pulling you to the car. You felt yourself protesting against his grip only to have him pull you more. You were still upset and you weren’t going to back down, but you knew more than anyone that he was not going to stop until he had you home. You sighed in defeat and surrendered to being put in the car and taken home. 

youcancallmecirce  asked:

For your feral!Adrien AU, what does Adrien typically eat, and how does Mari react to his diet? Is there anything that freaks her out?

This ask came in when I was writing about Adrien’s hunting, so I guess it’s kind of related? I mentioned before that Adrien wasn’t a newborn when he ends up in the jungle, so by that time he had already developed some food preferences. He eats fruits, and Plagg helps in figuring out which plants are edible and which are not. But a boy needs his calories, too, especially if that boy is trying to survive, so Adrien hunts fish to roast, and Plagg also shares part of his catch of bigger animals. When Plagg is feeling lazy, Adrien catches smaller animals for them to snack on. (Never anything with feathers, though!)

Marinette isn’t grossed out by anything much, though she freezes the first time she sees Adrien pop an aphid-ridden leaf into his mouth.

“You…“ she starts, “you just…ate aphids.”

“Aphids?” Adrien echoes. He takes another infested leaf and extends it towards her in question. “Aphids?”

“Yeeeeep,” Marinette says, slightly leaning away. “Those are aphids.”

“Aphids,” he repeats, staring at the insects as he commits the word to memory. Then, he turns to Marinette. “Would you like aphids, My Lady?”

“Ahahaaaaa no thank you, mon minou.”

Adrien shrugs and tosses the leaf into his mouth. Marinette tries her very best not to blanch.

“Do you…uh…Do you usually eat aphids?”

Adrien nods, plucking at the red spotted handkerchief tied to her wrist. “Ladybugs eat aphids!”

“Sorry to disappoint, but this one does not,” Marinette tells him. “What do they taste like?”

“They taste-” he pauses, tilting his head for the words, “they taaaaaste…”

He makes a face to illustrate, and Marinette prompts, “Disgusting?”

“No!” Adrien laughs. “Ah! Bitter! They taste bitter. And sweet, sometimes…”

Marinette makes a face, herself. She knows that some bitter foods are good for the body, but she’ll choose a bitter gourd over aphids anytime. As fascinating as it usually is to learn about Adrien and his life in the jungle, it was time to change the subject.

“Well,” she says, turning back to the fruit in her hand, “I prefer to have this really sweet,” and definitely not insect-covered, “gift that was freshly picked for me. Thank you, mon minou!”

She scratches his chin as she says it, and Adrien leans into her touch, delighted. They continue to eat in comfortable silence, though Marinette discreetly makes sure that none of her fruits have anything crawling on them.

asrielisdeadandsoischara  asked:

Theoretically, there's an inifinite number of sans-es dying every infinite half of a second, like all the time until time loses meaning. So he's repeatedly getting pumped full of dead sans-es. Gosh my head hurts thinking about all of this

Yeeeeep, which head do you think it hurts the most ? Your or his ? |D

anonymous asked:

For me, the ReyS theory took a big hit when immediately after the news struck that JJ announced Rey's parents aren't in TFA, Daisy commented "what can it all mean" on an Instagram post of Reylo shippers celebrating. She wasn't tagged or mentioned (correct me if I'm wrong), so for her to quickly comment on a Reylo post seemed interesting. There's no way she'd be ok with Reylo if her and Kylo were related. She'd find a way to subtly speak against it and let the fans down easy, but she never has.

yeeeeep. it was suspicious that mark didn’t say anything when there were reylo jokes in the bad lip reading that he did, too. you’d think he would warn them off from making jokes like that if the two of them are related.

and man speaking of jokes that theory was basically being mocked to high heaven at the last jedi panel. there were so many jokes about it and STILL people are taking it as confirmation. daisy looks so done with the whole thing tbh