years of unhappiness

It’s OK to wear makeup to the gym.

Who would have thought that so many girls would be looked at negatively for wearing makeup to the gym. People always seem to have snarky remarks about the girls who walk into the gym with a full face of makeup on. 

I was one of these girls for years. I would wake up every morning and put on a full face of makeup, go to school, and then go right to the gym. It wasn’t that I was getting all dolled up just to go sweat it off, but some people believed that that’s exactly what I was doing.

And so what if I had? Did I become incapable of building muscle because I had glitter on my eyelids? Was I now incapable of burning calories because I had blush on my cheeks? Was I now there to simply get the attention of guys instead of work on my self esteem because I had eyeliner winged across my eyes? 

No.

I was treated so poorly by a group of guys that came at the same time as me that year. Because of these boys I actually stopped going to the gym altogether because they made me feel so uncomfortable. Do I think they treated me poorly fully because I was wearing makeup? No, of course not. But I noticed a difference on the days that I didn’t wear any makeup. 

On days that I wore makeup to the gym I was constantly talked to. They would come stand at my treadmill and not leave me be despite my one word answers. They would watch me from across the room. If I went upstairs into a small room with spin bikes, some would follow and just stand there. One time I was trying to leave and the group of them blocked my way saying I did not get to leave unless I gave a certain one a kiss. It was a nightmare.

On the days that I didn’t wear makeup things were a bit better. Only a couple of them would talk to me, they wouldn’t look over at me as much and I’d be left alone when I went upstairs. It was almost as if they realized on those days that I was there to work on myself and not to flirt with them. It was almost as if I became a person those days, instead of just an object they wanted to fuck

So please, from my experience of borderline harassment, just remember that the girls wearing makeup at the gym are the exact same as the girls there with naked faces. All they want is to be left alone.

-Meghan

Though talented, Margaret Keane was extremely withdrawn and shy – far from the kind of salesperson you need to be for a career as a successful artist. She was also in the habit of signing her paintings with just her last name. Her husband, an art dealer and championship-level dickbag, immediately realized the opportunity this presented. He started taking his wife’s paintings and selling them as his own, earning millions in the process. Oh, and if you dispute his professional bag o’ wangs status, there’s also the minor fact that he would lock Margaret in a room for up to 16 hours a day in order to mass produce his masterpieces. Meanwhile, Walter cavorted about in their huge house with his assorted hangers-on and generally enjoyed the whole “popular artist in the swinging 1960s” bit to the maximum.

In 1965, after 10 years of unhappy marriage and rampant career abuse, Margaret finally got a divorce. Although Walter initially managed to convince her to continue their painting arrangement, she soon had enough, and cut off Walter’s supply of malnourished children drawings. In 1970, she finally told the world that she had been behind the paintings all along, and challenged Walter to a public paint-off to prove her claims. Walter never took up the challenge, and the dispute over the paintings raged on. Margaret finally took the case to the court, where it came out that Walter had, among other things, threatened to kill her and her child. Maybe those Keane Kids looked like that because they were god damn terrified.

5 Great Women Ignored By History For Absurdly Sexist Reasons

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hahaHA look at what I found, a photo from just earlier this year (photo on the left) where I identified as a cis bisexual girl, & to the right we have a photo from earlier this month, where I now identify as a queer bigender boy (genders being male & agender). I’m so happy I’ve figured myself out.

Zan/Zander,, he/they

Last year I was lonely and unhappy. I felt lost and completely abandoned. My ex had given up on us and I think I knew it. Our relationship was horrible and toxic. I was being harassed and my eating disorder was in full swing. Depression and anxiety ruled my life. I felt sick, inside and out. It was hard to enjoy Christmas.

This year I’m sitting on the other side of my parent’s fireplace and my beautiful fiancé is reading a book. Every so often I catch her eye and I am nearly breathless when I remember she’s here with me. My weight has evened out and my anxiety and depression are under complete control. I’m not lonely. I’m not sad or upset. I feel completely at peace.

I’m proof that things get better. Even when you think they never will, they do. Just hold on. Life gets better, one day at a time.

George Quits
The Beatles
George Quits

Friday January 10 1969: A rather historic piece of audio where George announces to John he is leaving the Beatles. The audio is muffled, but you can clearly hear 

George: I think I’ll be leaving the band now.

John: When?

George: Now. 

Trust George to make quitting the Beatles sound like he’s popping out for a pint of milk. 

For some background: George’s decision came after 2-3 years of feeling increasingly unhappy and frustrated with the Beatles dynamic. Unlike the documentary suggests, however, George did not quit after a terse debate with Paul about his involvement on Paul’s songs two days before (although it didn’t help), but rather, an unrecorded argument with John earlier that morning. 

Two days later, the band met at Ringo’s house as per George’s request to sit down and talk everything out between the four of them alone. Unfortunately, John also took Yoko, who proceeded to sit at the table and speak for a silent John throughout the meeting. George, disgusted, called John out on his bullshit (using those words), and walked out of the meeting - a move which wasn’t unsupported by Ringo and Paul, judging by their reaction the next day.

[As always, back up link to audio if no worko] 

I don’t wanna be the that kind of person, who in 10 years will unhappy look up to the moon, telling herself she should have lived more.

I… just told my mum about how I’m not feeling well after keeping it all bottled up for years…

All this cure theorizing is making me so, so glad I jumped ship from Stelena. 

I understand how tempting and exciting it is to think of Elena being human again because it means she might fall back in love with Stefan, but like…

You stop to think about it for a second, and you realize how sad that is. That Elena needs to be human to understand his value.

Caroline sure as shit didn’t. 

I used to ask friends of mine to describe
me like an author in a book would. One friend
said I have a spine like steel, And unfortunately
this makes it too difficult to sit still.
I hate these pills that are meant to
make me feel normal, but instead make me
feel numb. Sometimes I miss the way my
skin would crawl, or how the voices screamed,
or catching shadows out of the corner of my eye.
Unfortunately this also took to tendencies to stand
on bridge edges, because people forget that you
don’t need water to feel like you’re drowning.
I stopped being able to tell if it was you who was
making me unhappy, or if I’ve just spent these last
15 years of my life unhappy and not noticed until
now. I used to drink a whole bottle of cheap vodka;
welcoming the taste of paint stripper, and would
take my clothes off in the forest feeling naked
and real. Unfortunately this would often lead to
getting arrested and deemed a “menace to society”.
I love these new pills that don’t change my mood
but stopped me from having a period for 3 months
until I started having nightmares of screaming floating
baby heads and became paranoid that I was pregnant
even though I haven’t had sex since before Christmas.
Mental health has been something I’ve struggled with
my entire adult life. Caught between the feeling of
eyes burrowing into my skin and nothing at all.
When you’ve felt pain so strongly it becomes a part
of your everyday life like the sounds of cars driving
past your window, apart from cars it’s screaming
a constant screaming the distant screaming
it becomes hard to detach from that because
sometimes silence can be deafening.

iboatedhere  asked:

Once you get this you are encouraged to say five things you like about yourself, publicly, and send it to 10 of your favorite followers! SPREAD POSITIVITY!

ONE OF YOUR FAVES dang I am honored :)

Okay so. Five things. This is gonna be hard.

  1. I like my sense of humor. I’m mcfreakin’ hilarious and I crack myself up.
  2. I like my hair. I stopped dyeing it ages ago and honestly I love the color.
  3. I like how much I love to eat. Food is love.
  4. I like where I am in life right now. Especially when I think about how different everything was just a year ago, and how unhappy I was at the time. I’m glad I made the necessary changes and steps to live better and healthier, despite how difficult the decision was at the time.
  5. I love my wife and my daughter with everything I have. Ohana, and all that.

GD THIS TOOK FOREVER. Talking about yourself is tough.

Someone Who Understands - Draco Mafoy Imagine

Requested by voldemorts-socks : Hi! Congrats on 1000 followers, I love your writing! If you have any spare time, could I have a Draco imagine?

And Requested by anon: Can you write one where y/n used to be a ravenclaw but had to leave after the 4th year because her parents were death eaters & dumbledore helped hide her to keep her safe. But she returned to help at the battle & after she met Draco & they slowly began to fall in love because they understood each other. & what it was like having parents as death eaters even though they didnt want to be bad

You had spent the majority of the past three years deeply unhappy, and leaving the house of your parents whenever possible. Behind the shelves of Dark Magic books in your room were hidden the books containing light magic – in particular healing charms – that you had managing to find either in backstreet bookshops or your family library. During the first few months since you had been kept from Hogwarts after You-Know-Who’s return you had befriended a muggle, but when your parents had found out and threatened to kill them, you had had to perform a memory charm on them and vowed never to put anyone in danger again.

Now, three years later, it looked like you were about to return to Hogwarts. Your parents were rallying with the Dark Lord and, as far as they knew, so were you. You dressed in your black robes, but put on some other clothes underneath. You tugged your sleeve over your Dark Mark as you were called by your parents. They stressed the importance of obeying their master without fail and you couldn’t help but, not for the first time, marvel at their sick ideals.

Then all of a sudden the mark begun to burn and, with a shared look, your family Disapparated, only to reappear outside the Hogwarts grounds. The other Death Eaters popped into view in twos and threes or alone. This was the innermost circle. You recognised Draco Malfoy, who had been in your year at Hogwarts. You could tell from the look on his face that this wasn’t where he wanted to be.

When the order was given to disperse in order to attack from around the castle you followed him.
“You don’t have to do this you know,” you told him. “I’m not about to go in there and kill people who used to be my friends and I can tell you don’t want to either.” He looked at you, eyes sad and brows furrowed.
“He threatened my family, I know what I have to do. He’ll know if I kill a Death Eater.” He hung his head and carried on walking.
“Hey Draco, I said nothing about killing anybody. There’s going to be enough that going on anyway,” you explained.
“Then what can I do?” he said defeatedly. You reached into your pocket and produced the Pocket Guide to Healing Charms.
“You can help,” you said frankly. “So, what do you say?” you asked hopefully. He looked up gratefully.
“Thank you.”

Hours later and the bodies were piling up, however with the help of Draco, Madam Pomfrey and some other trainee Healers, the many injured were healed as quickly as possible. You recognised faces from your Hogwarts years and tried to be especially kind to those who you knew recognised you as the daughter of Death Eaters. For the most part they seemed to understand.

Draco filled you in on what had been going on at Hogwarts and told you stories that lifted your spirits despite the destruction that surrounded you. That was until, just metres from you, fell the body of someone who had been like a brother to you years ago. Fred Weasley.

You left your post and ran to him, blasting his murderer out of the way as you moved. His twin fell beside him as what was to be the first tear of many slipped down your cheek. You too sank to the floor in sobs as you saw a face for the first time in years that would never see you again. As the rest of the Weasleys gradually appeared, and shared their grief you found yourself alone, consumed by the tragedy surrounding you. At some point, arms wrapped around you, holding you close. It was Draco, Death Eater, branded as a heartless coward, comforting your loss. When, finally your sobs subsided, you took his hand and gave it a squeeze. You were glad he was by your side. But you knew it was time to put your own emotions aside and get back to helping out.

The courtyard was already packed by the time you and Draco got there, news of Harry’s death had spread quickly. As much as people feared You-Know-Who, they wouldn’t miss this. As he called his followers, you stood behind Draco.
“You can go if you want,” you told him, knowing how much his family meant to him. His hand found yours and he looked forward determinedly.
“No, I’m staying with you,” he decided.

He held the gaze of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named without faltering and your chest swelled with pride and affection. When, finally Harry revealed that he was in fact alive, the euphoria was infectious. Draco turned around to marvel with you and you seized the moment, pulling him into a passionate kiss. The world seemed to dissolve and suddenly you knew that no matter what you would be okay because here was someone who understood you.

Dude so, instead of going to see Fifty Shades of Grey this weekend

how about you go see The Last Five Years?

One is an adaptation of a terrible book with questionable themes and messages. The other is a brilliant, lifelike musical, also about a relationship with sour elements, but one that is never abusive. And it has Anna Kendrick in it. And you will cry.

Basically, support J.R. Brown, not E.L. James.

Trapped?

Wow! I’ve never let so much tension during the reading of a play in my life! The one thing that really stood out to me during the reading is how Rose tells Troy that she basically feels trapped in their marriage. She’s beyond hurt that Troy went out and cheated when she’s done nothing but stuck by him for 18 years. It’s clear that Rose could most definitely do much better than Troy, yet she has loved him even when he’s horrible to her. She’s been unhappy and tempted by other men but kept her promise and commitment to him. But he went out and got another woman pregnant!!!!! WHY??!? Is there really any worth in doing that?! Troy is literally throwing a diamond away for a rock. Yet he’s perfectly okay with it! How can you be okay with literally murdering the woman who has loved your sorry butt for 18 years even though she was unhappy???? I’m so angry by this!!!!!!! She was so hopeful in him when she met him that she put herself into him waiting to see herself grow and now she’s just stuck completely because she is a loyal woman to her husband. She’s stuck inside him with no escape but desperately wanting to escape him. It’s horrible what he did to her! 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

Originally posted by artproud

Finally found some more full body pics of me! (I untagged myself from them on facebook) Surprisingly this isn’t even my highest weight. I gained another 20lb afterwards! I’ve lost 90lb this year, and if you’re unhappy with your weight and need some inspiration send me a message, I’m always happy to help. Good luck to everyone! 5'6 (167cm) 227lb (102kg) 135lb (61kg)