years of unhappiness

+

Gonna be a bit weepy but

Last year I:
•was suicidal
•unhappy with my weight/looks
•failed two out of four of my a levels
•went through my parents getting a divorce
•had almost no chances of getting into a uni

This year I decided to change my life, thus leading to:
•working hard to lose weight (going from 72kg to 60)
•studying hard for my final year of A levels and achieving A*AB
•getting into one of the top universities in the UK
•getting to go to America (and going to Disneyland and comic con!) along with seeing Panic! live for the first time


In short, a year ago I was in a dark place. This year has been the best year of my life and I’m so grateful 😊

Since when has body become more important than soul? ⋅
53% of 13 year old girls are unhappy with their body.
That number raises to 78% by the time they’re 17 years old.
65% of women/girls have or have had some sort of eating disorder.
⋅ I used to be, just like so many of us, so focused on my weight. Looking skinny, having the perfect body. It drained me from my creativity, and, quite literally, from my energy. I don’t work out. I’m not the kind of girl to go to the gym every day, and I will not apologize for it. I don’t have a perfect body, won’t apologize for that either. It’s good enough. I don’t have a thigh gap and the only reason my stomach is flat is cause fat genetically goes to my thighs and not my belly. I guess I’m lucky in that way.
What does it matter though? When I’m happy, creative, and loving life? When I’m healthy? What does that one centimeter extra difference around our waist or thighs matter if all it does is make us unhappy? Why do we so obsessively want to be skinny? Why are we so insecure? And at the same time, why are we so judging?

The idea of ideal beauty we have nowadays is photoshopped. Girls are being encouraged to meet that ‘unmeetable’ ideal, as seen on tv and social media, billboards and magazines. Advertising is based on making people want to have something or be something. That being said, advertising is based on insecurity. Anxiety. So called perfect bodytypes generate the need to buy products that we are subconsciously conditioned to believe will make us more attractive. We need to have it. That chick posing next to it looked so good. We might not realize it this way, but our brain makes the connection without us even realizing it. Do you see that the whole idea of the perfect body is one hundred percent generated by the media?

Bottom line: Is fat really the worst thing a human being can be?

What are your thoughts on this? I’d love to hear them x (bij Gent, Belgium)

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Find your Why & keep pushing!

For years I was fat and unhappy! To the point of suicide! In my mind no matter how beautiful my clothes were I was unhappy with myself! The bertha jokes weren’t funny anymore! The big but you slay comments irked my very being! Since December 2014 I’ve been on this journey and it’s been a roller coaster I have my days where I want to cry because I want to eat what I want to eat and I have days where I’m completely Confident in who I’ve worked to become! Someone told me the only thing constant is change! I’ve been called arrogant, cocky, said that I look down my nose at others and that I shouldn’t be as confident as I am… if I’ve ever offended you while on this journey to become a skinnier me I’m sorry… I’m confident because for 34 years I was depressed from being fat and ridiculed! I deserve to be cocky cause damn it I’ve done most of this on my own! I’m 143 pounds down and 26 more until I reach my final goal! Happy transformation Tuesday! #transformationtuesday #wls #wlscommunity #weightlossjourney #143down #ilostweight #imcocky #imconfidentinmyself #selfie #posh #weightloss

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also ppl that follow me for rwby/rtah/rvb: it’s still the majority in my queue, but some bleach is gonna be popping out for a little bit every now and again. bleach was a part of my life for the past 10 years so while i’m unhappy with the ending, it reminded me how much i love this series, and i’m gonna be reblogging some stuff! i’m not changing fandoms tho, rwby/rtah are still my prime fandoms, and with rwby coming back in 2 months my blog is gonna be even worse than it already is lmao