years of unhappiness

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for the anon about my art changing since i started studying illustration :0

i’ve put captions on the pics and they’re in what i’m..thiiiinking is chronological order? 2007//middle school, then one thing i found from highschool, then pieces from 5 of my last 6 semesters. and i tried to put in a mix of my traditional and digital works so hopefully that’s helpful?

surveynuts.com
Just some simple questions...

Just a few years ago I was 280lbs, unhappy and had zero confidence. I had horrible energy levels, and some mornings never wanted to get out of bed. I decided to take action and today I am 60 lbs lighter and 1000% happier. The great news is I recently designed a simple but very effective product that documents my success and can help you in numerous ways become healthier and happier. But first I am looking for your insight and feedback as I want to put the finishing touches on this before we launch it, we are so excited to bring this to you!! Please take a moment to answer the following survey questions and get it back to me asap!! Stay tuned!!

So gay marriage is now legal all across the United States. This is an important day in history, a day that will not only have progressive worth, but to many people will also hold a great deal of emotional value. But the movement doesn’t stop here. Don’t let this be the next feminism; women are granted the right to vote and mainstream support dissolves. Meanwhile, 53% of thirteen year old girls are unhappy with their bodies, and 78% by age 17 (x). Worldwide, over 700 million women were married as children. About 250 million were married before fifteen (x). In the United States alone, one out of six women are victims of attempted or completed rape (x).

Don’t let marriage equality be the voting rights for the LGBTQA movement. Don’t stop caring because you think legislation made decades of tension, hate, and conflict disappear in one day. Hate crimes are still abundant, and many aren’t labeled as hate crimes by local police (source: http://www.splcenter.org/the-anti-gay-lobby-the-family-research-council-the-american-family-association-the-demonization-of–3). Conversion therapy is still pushing children to take their lives (x). Children are still being rendered homeless after their family refuses to accept them (x).  Stereotypes run rampant, and slurs are in a lot of citizen’s every day vocabulary. While this is a major step forward in the sexual orientation side of the LGBTQA community, there’s still a lot to be done. Genderqueer youth are at a tremendous risk, and so are those that are not straiht. Don’t let activism cease because you think the problem’s gone. 

taylorswift Hi… My name is Holly Leishman and I am writing this post to let you know how you truly Saved and Changed my life. When I was Younger, I was so badly bullied, to the point of Self harm and Suicide.. One night i was sitting in my room crying and i wanted to end it all. I put on your music and after a song or two, Honestly something made me stop and calm down. From that point on, when i was feeling down and depressed, instead of harming myself I put your Music on and somehow, everything was better. Your song “Mean” truly means the world to me! After so many years of being a shy, unhappy girl as i grew to love you, Your music changed me inside and out! You make me feel like its OK to be confident and Happy!! You are the reason i pursued my music career, Your songs were the first songs i ever learned to play! Basically, I just want the oppourtunity to say THANKYOU so so much.. for everything you have ever done and everything you stand for! I cant believe i am so lucky to finally see you live on June 23rd in Glasgow, you are my Hero, Taylor Swift. 

anonymous asked:

Wait are there really people that don't like season 6 of supernatural???

I don’t know anyone specifically! But I do remember seeing some people saying they only like the first 5 seasons for the Kripke years or feeling irritated about the “what is wrong with Sam” theme. I think there were also a lot of mixed feelings about the Lisa/Ben story line. And yeah, there was //whispers// “Mannequin.” 

Jensen has said that it was difficult going for him in the beginning because he didn’t have his regular Sam to play opposite, and I’m sympathetic to that, but at the same time, I thought J2 did an amazing job! Jared said he liked playing soulless!Sam, and over time I’ve only become more fond of that version of Sam for his sardonic wit. It was a season when we really got to see Sam’s smarts (not to mention his incredible physique) and Dean’s innate morality. Cas had an interesting progression, too. And the French Mistake!! What’s not to love?  (☆^ー^☆)

You’re invited to celebrate Unhappy Hour. It’s a ceremony that gives you a poetic license to rant and whine and howl and bitch about everything that hurts you and makes you feel bad.

During this perverse grace period, there’s no need for you to be inhibited as you unleash your tortured squalls. You don’t have to tone down the extremity of your desolate clamors. Unhappy Hour is a ritually consecrated excursion devoted to the full disclosure of your primal clash and jangle.

Here’s the catch: It’s brief. It’s concise. It’s crisp. You dive into your darkness for no more than 60 minutes, then climb back out, free and clear. It’s called Unhappy Hour, not Unhappy Day or Unhappy Week or Unhappy Year.

Do you have the cheeky temerity to drench yourself in your paroxysmal alienation from life? Unhappy Hour invites you to plunge in and surrender. It dares you to scurry and squirm all the way down to the bottom of your pain, break through the bottom of your pain, and fall down flailing in the soggy, searing abyss, yelping and cringing and wallowing.

That’s where you let your pain tell you every story it has to tell you. You let your pain teach you every lesson it has to teach you. But then it’s over. The ritual ordeal is complete. And your pain has to take a vacation until the next Unhappy Hour, which isn’t until next week sometime, or maybe next month.

You see the way the game works? Between this Unhappy Hour and the next one, your pain has to shut up. It’s not allowed to creep and seep all over everything, staining the flow of your daily life. It doesn’t have free reign to infect you whenever it’s itching for more power.

Your pain gets its succinct blast of glory, its resplendent climax, but leaves you alone the rest of the time.

If performed regularly, Unhappy Hour serves as an exorcism that empties you of psychic toxins, while at the same time – miracle of miracles – it helps you squeeze every last drop of blessed catharsis out of those psychic toxins.

Pronoia will then be able to flourish as you luxuriate more frequently in rosy moods and broad-minded visions. You’ll develop a knack for cultivating smart joy and cagey optimism as your normal states of mind.

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Now let’s get you warmed up for Unhappy Hour.

First, let me hear you groan.
Second, let me hear you howl.
Third, let me hear you sigh.

Now say or sing these declarations:

“Life is a bitch and everything stinks.
My pain is so bad I can hardly think.
I’m afraid to live, I’m afraid to die.
The world’s so messed up, I can’t even cry.”

OK. You’re almost ready. When I say GO, you will have as much freedom as you want to dredge up and steep yourself in your savage sorrow, your unspeakable doubt, your shrill anguish, your secret shame, and your fearful fantasies.

Give yourself permission to make guttural moans, rueful cackles, or animalistic growls and squawks. Argue with God or your parents or the past while blurting out manic, explosive wails. Allow yourself to be crushed and dissolved, flung around and flayed, appalled and unhinged.

And while you’re at it, use the clean white space on these pages to scrawl down curses, scratch out narratives, or scribble symbolic drawings incited by your misery.

Later, make photocopies of these curses, narratives, and drawings, and conduct a ceremony of purification, burning them to ash, being careful not to set your house or the woods or yourself on fire, too.

As you burn, pray that you will extract all of the mojo you possibly can from the pain, and that the pain will make you smarter and wilder and kinder and trickier.

Pray that you will grow to feel gratitude for the pain, thereby turning the pain into a blessing and diminishing its power to hurt you.

Ready? Get set. GO. Be unhappy – but for no longer than 60 minutes.

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Unhappy Hour is brought to you by the origin myth of the Iroquois’ Thunderbird Clan: Earthmaker woke up to realize he was the only being in the universe. Out of the depths of his loneliness, he cried, unleashing a flood of tears that became the oceans and rivers and lakes of our world.

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Listen to the podcast: http://bit.ly/zxnYnD

What was a woman who looked much like summer; had now become a woman in the autumn of her life.

Years of unhappiness were imprinted by every deep line and wrinkle onto her face. When I looked into her eyes, the bright sparkle it once had, or the personality it once held, was gone, and all I could do was watch. 

There were days I’d hear her muffled singing on some glorious afternoons across the hallway, humming a nasheed in the kitchen as she grilled us sizzling kofta balls, using the spatula with bits of keema around it; as a microphone. And there were other days, where she wore black again, fell in love with solitude, and heaved the blanket over her head.

I love thinking about how much difference a year can make. Around the time of my high school grad last year, I was so unhappy and hated my life to be honest. It sounds negative and pessimistic, but I just couldn’t get out of that funk. I think people often don’t realize how much a smile can hide. I needed to leave my hometown and the people in it, including those I cared about and those who gave no fuck about me. A year later and I’ve met new friends, I’m doing cool things, I’ve lost weight, and I’m really thinking about law school. I’m valuing myself more, and not giving my time to those who don’t deserve it. Last Fourth of July, I spent it drinking alcohol I didn’t want with a guy I didn’t want to sleep with but did anyways because I didn’t care about life. I didn’t care about myself or my happiness. This summer, I’m with someone who is fucking amazing and treats me so much better. I am so much happier.

schneewittchxn replied to your post:Note to self: apparently I can’t dislike a Pixar…

((Honestly as someone with anxiety and depression kinda fuck Inside Out

[ I mean… I can see precisely why people liked it, but for me…

I know my brain does not quite work properly, that’s why I take my medication. But having those faults highlighted and seemingly blamed on some sentient beings inside my mind, that my personality could be displayed as something as simple as a couple of islands, that thinking about the past with sadness is normal? I hated it. I hate that I have so many years of unhappy memories, it is not a good thing, it is horrible. I also have perfectly happy memories. 

It just made me think about important things I was forgetting, things I didn’t want to forget and made me feel… really hollow inside. 

Trying to explain something as complex as the way brains work and go wrong in a way children will understand is probably a good idea. But Inside Out did a really bad job of it, as someone who is mentally ill and has studied Psychology. Being devoid of all emotions was a regular part of my life for months, years. Not a few seconds of climax for a children’s movie. My brain is not a plot, my inability to feel is something I cannot fix myself. And it made me feel guilty for not being able to. 

I just genuinely did not enjoy this film, yet fans will bite off anyone’s head who disagrees. ]

Also in that interview, Olivier Rousteing talked a lot about the blending of two worlds: how it’s possible to be couture and pop, luxurious and accessible, ambitious and nice, the same way you can be pretty and smart; that there is no need to create a divide between two attributes that are capable of coexisting. When you make a person choose between one or the other, you are trying to suppress their potential. I think everyone feels this at some point in their life. I used to have so many people tell me that because I was smart I should choose science over the arts, as if intelligence and creativity were mutually exclusive. But why can’t I be a smart writer? It makes absolutely no sense. Even now, having chosen a path for myself that I am happy with, it makes me sad to think about the years I was unhappy because I changed myself to fit into a mold that had been carved out for me.

anonymous asked:

will you talk about something that's on your mind a lot? i love reading your writings :)

i was so unhappy as a sixteen year-old, seventeen year-old. i was so unhappy. there were the good grades and the big house and the secure social status. i saw what they were thinking when i walked through school. a girl told me once “what everyone knows about you is that you own the English department and that you only ever laugh when you are with yor friends.”
i smiled when she said that. what they all knew about me was an automatism. laugh when the others do, talk about what they talk about, be the person they see you as, seem normal, don’t cry in public. i had it all down. god, i was such a good actor. nobody knew, most of them don’t know still.
and i intend to keep it that way. the people i shared class rooms with in high school received a lot from me. never will i allow them to see what i became. they will never know Carly the author, Carly the poet, Carly with the tattoo on her arm, Carly the one who stays up all night to talk them down.
i was so unhappy as a sixteen year-old, seventeen year-old. i’m not unhappy anymore. i am becoming me. i broke apart all the armour, so so heavy armour, dragged all the hidden parts of me into the light, where everyone can see.

anonymous asked:

Hey girl! Just wanted to tell you are an inspiration, I love how real you are and how you promote a balanced diet without restrictions. I've gone down that road and it led me to develop binge eating disorder. I've been binging for 2 years and gained 40 pounds. I can happily say that after 2 years of being unhappy and binge eating, today marks day 21 binge free! After all these years, my goal was always to make it to day 21 because that's how long it takes to break a habit! Eeeek so happy!

Aw thank you so much!! You are amazing keep it up!! I’m so happy to hear this :)