I am a single adult human living in a house with two corgis. Got Girldog from a shelter when she was about a year, year and a half old maybe; got Boydog a few years later as an 8-week puppeh. And let me tell you something, from Day One, this has been a three-way psychological experiment. I no longer know who is manipulating who on a daily basis.
One of the first things I trained Girldog to do was not to bark at the dinner table; if she barked at me while I was eating, I put her in The Quiet Place (her crate) where she couldn’t see me. She learned almost immediately to subvocalize her barks, to let out a breath with just enough vocal cord vibration that I wouldn’t QUIIIITE consider it a bark and move her further away from the food. It’s a sound like this: “Hrrrr. Hrrrr. Hhhrahhh.” I didn’t realize how odd this was until my aunt came over and said, “That dog hissed at me.” “Yes,” I said, “she does that.”
Boydog learned to do tricks by watching Girldog. I never taught him to sit. He learned by watching Girldog get a treat for sitting. Once, I told both dogs to sit at the same time, while I held a treat in each hand. When Girldog didn’t sit quick enough, Boydog put his paw on her butt and pushed her down.
I hung a bell on the door and taught Boydog to ring it when he wants to go out. Girldog sees no reason she should ring the bell, as it is beneath her dignity, and she can get her way by barking instead. Boydog, however, will ring the bell for Girldog when she lurks around by the door, although he has no interest in going outside himself. Girldog has made Boydog her personal slave in this matter.
Boydog rings the bell when he doesn’t need to go out but thinks I have been at my computer too long. By the time I get to the kitchen, he’s nowhere near the door, but hey mom, as long as you’re up, let’s play! He obviously does not believe I can see through this extremely clever ploy.
Girldog once climbed onto a sofa, crossed the back of it, leapt from the sofa to my desk chair, leapt from the chair to the desk, and knocked all my stuff off the desk. (I wasn’t there, but it was obvious from the trail of destruction what route she had taken.) Then she got down and proceeded to ignore the bag of corn chips she’d encountered and focus her attention on biting my phone charger in half, chewing up a USB memory stick, and eating a pen. I still have no idea how she could be so smart and so dumb at the same time.
Boydog will chase a laser pointer (not uncommon for dogs introduced to them as puppies! Pro tip) but only when Girldog is not around, because she hates it for some reason and will tackle him for it. Girldog also likes to be outside while I want to be in, and Boydog prefers to have us both inside. Boydog will lead me to the laser pointer, pester me until I get it down, and then run around chasing the laser and barking madly. No matter how stubborn Girldog has been about staying outside, she wants to know what he’s barking at and immediately comes inside. (It is always the laser pointer he’s barking at, Girldog. Always.)
There is a chair in my bedroom that I cannot sit on. The dogs take turns sleeping on it, depending on who gets there first. The only hard and fast rule is that if the human sits on the chair, they will both lose their cool. The chair is for dogs only. I have not even tried to sit on the chair for about six months now.
I suspect I’ll be adding more of these as the three of us continue to train each other.
can u imagine sam wilson growing up having to do the captain america challenge every goddamned year in PE and then all of a sudden he’s in his early 30s and he’s in an actual race with actual steve rogers?
u know his inner monologue was half “mmm tight tshirt” and half “twenty years later and this bitch is still making me run???????????????!!!!!”
Guess who was going through the Langst tag and got inspired and sad?
So Lance and Keith were friends in high school, but fell out of touch when Keith moved away for college.
Half a year later, Keith moved back home after deciding college wasn’t for him and dropping out. Lance was thrilled that one of his friends had moved back and reached out to his old friend to reconnect.
Keith agreed and they went out to a bar together.
They woke up in bed together the next morning with horrible hangovers and evidence of last night’s deeds dried on the sheets.
Keith tells Lance that he doesn’t do relationships but that the sex was amazing and he would be up for it again if Lance was.
Poor, pinning Lance has had feelings for Keith since high school. He figures that a friend’s with benefits relationship is the best he was ever going to get with Keith and agrees.
It becomes apparent that Keith was more interested in the Benefits part of their agreement very quickly. Sex was soon all he wanted from Lance, no hanging out, no talking, nothing but a few hours in bed.
Lance is deeply hurt, feeling like he has lost one of his best friends all over again. He keeps trying to repair the friendship that he thinks he’s at fault for breaking, but nothings working.
If he invites Keith over for pizza and a movie, Keith thinks it’s a booty call. They have sex and then Keith’s gone.
If he asks Keith to go to a bar or club with him, Keith gets handsy and they end up fooling around in one of their cars and then Keith goes home.
Lance is at the end of his rope and pulling his hair out in frustration.
Then he finds out that he isn’t the only one Keith has been sleeping with. Turns out Keith’s got a new guy in his bed every other night.
Lance is heartbroken. He had thought he was the only one. He feels used. It’s like he doesn’t even know Keith anymore. He’s lost Keith.
He can’t do it anymore. He can’t keep giving and giving himself to Keith for nothing.
He starts ignoring calls and texts from Keith.
Hunk and Pidge worry and ask if he’s alright, but he just smiles and waves away their worries. It’s hard for them to keep tabs on Lance when they have college classes and live in different states now, but they try their best.
There are nights when he’s tempted to call Keith and invite him over because his bed is way to empty and he misses Keith like nothing else, but he manages.
Its around this time that his friend from college, Allura, introduces him to her friend since childhood, Lotor.
Lotor is hands down the most gorgeous guy Lance has ever seen. He was charming and just as flirty as Lance and laughed at his jokes. The two hit it off right away and Allura is so fucking smug because she’s been trying to set the two up for months.
They begin dating and Lance is honestly in awe of his boyfriend. Lotor seems perfect. Wealthy, handsome, charming, and loving. Lance is head over heels, stupidly in love.
Then Keith comes over to his apartment one night.
Keith asks him where he had been and why Lance hasn’t been answering his texts- he was worried!
Lance has no time for this. He’s blunt and harsh and tells Keith to go to someone else for sex, because Lance is dating someone now.
Keith goes pale. He tries to ask something, but keeps stuttering and restarting. Finally, he pushes past Lance and runs out of the apartment, leaving a confused Lance behind.
Things are going great with Lotor. Lance falls fast and hard and Lotor is right there with him. Lotor talks about Lance moving in with him and about their future together. Lance is so happy about the prospect of a future that he doesn’t stop to wonder if its what he really wants with Lotor.
Weeks after Keith’s last visit, he comes back drunk at 4 in the morning.
Lance lets him in, fully intending to call a taxi to take him home, but Keith has other plans. He’s throwing himself at Lance within minutes, asking him for just one more time.
Lance aint having that. Nope. It is not a thing that is happening.
Then Keith starts to cry. He keeps saying that he’s sorry and that he needs Lance and that he doesn’t care that Lance loves someone else. Says that he needs Lance, that he loves-
“Lance?” Lotor comes out of Lance’s bedroom still half asleep and hair a beautiful mess. He’s instantly awake when he sees Keith and his face goes dangerously blank. “Whats going on?”
Lance explains that he’s just calling a taxi to take Keith home, since he’s been drinking. Lotor’s face looses the blank look and he’s all sweet smiles and helpfulness again.
Keith curls up on Lance’s couch and tries not to cry.
After sending Keith home, Lance apologizes for waking up Lotor, but his boyfriend says he has nothing to be sorry for. Lance is sweet enough to help anyone, and Keith is in the wrong for taking advantage of that, that Lance did nothing wrong.
Lance is so lucky to have Lotor.
Keith wakes up to a text from Lance asking if he got home safe. Keith’s heart clenches, because he is so in love with Lance and he fucked up so badly.
He lies and pretends that he doesn’t remember going over to Lance’s place and humiliating himself because its easier.
The next day, Keith ventures out to get food and finds himself getting shoved into an alleyway between abandoned buildings and getting the shit kicked out of him.
He gets thrown around a bit, the wind knocked out of him, and a more then one bruise before he’s thrown to the ground.
Lotor and four girls are staring down at him once his head stops spinning.
Lotor tells Keith that if he tries to contact Lance again, the beating will be worse and a bone or two may be broken. Tells him that if he tries to tell Lance about this, Keith’s landlord will suddenly find a reason to evict him from his apartment.
Doesn’t Keith realize that he’s going to ruin Lance? That he’ll drag Lance down with him if Keith keeps holding onto him? He tells Keith that Lance deserves better then a college drop out turned slut whose going no where in life.
Keith already knows all this, he doesn’t need to reminder.
Keith is left in the alley with a split lip and bruised ribs while Lotor and the girls drive off in a sports car more expensive then Keith’s student debt.
If your interested in reading this, I’ve got it posted on AO3
High key this is one of my favourite songs ever and every time I listen to it I can’t help but think of Hades, so here I am a year and a half later finally making this. I know this is really rough looking but I did learn a lot from making this- since I’ve never really attempted a project quite to this scale before.
Married people; what’s your favourite tradition you started with your spouse?
I knew I loved her from the day we first got together. About the third day in dating, 10 years ago, when we were 18 I didn’t want to seem like I was rushing the Love thing. So instead, because I have poor impulse control and just had to “tell” her, I squeezed her hand 3 times for I Love You. She didn’t catch on until about 2 months in, and when she did, she hadn’t realized how long I’d been doing it (three days into knowing her.)
We broke up two and a half years later. Her parents were controlling growing up and she wanted to experience more. I moved away.
8 years later I had some stuff of hers I always moved with me just in case I ran into her again. I dropped it off to her mom when I moved back. She called me crying, that I’d kept it all this time. I had been married, divorced, through college and everything in between but always kept that box of her stuff, unopened. Pictures of us, some important heirlooms to her., etc.
We found each other again, and realized for years we kept trying to replace each other with someone else. She got her experiences; I grew up some.
On the first date after we found each other again I instinctively held her hand and squeezed it three times. The look she gave me terrified me at first, because it had been so long. She started to tear up and squeezed mine back.
Give Me Polyamorous Power Couple Hamliza Or Give Me Death
~Eliza growing up having constant crushes on both men and women and trying to articulate what she wanted to Angelica but never being able to explain it the way she wanted
~When she’s in a relationship: “I want her” “But you’re dating Peter” “I want him too” “But you have to choose” “Why do I have to choose?” When she’s not in a relationship: “Ooh, Liza’s got a crush! Spill it!” “Well, there’s Arthur and his girlfriend, and Sally and her girlfriend, and Jason, and Mary…” “Whoa whoa whoa, slow down, how many crushes can you have?” “Shush, I’m not done”
~When she meets Alexander and quickly falls into her most serious relationship ever she expects the multiple crush thing to stop (Spoiler alert: it doesn’t)
~Eliza feels like a horrible girlfriend because she’s so happy with Alex but then Susan from work will start up a conversation with her in the break room and she’s instantly all heart eyes
~Tearfully she admits it to Alex one night and he’s thrilled because “no there’s nothing wrong with you I promise!!!! You’re just polyamorous!!!!”
~They spend the rest of the night talking about it
~Eliza needs some time to adjust since she’s spent so much time trying to push it aside that she doesn’t really know what else to do but Alex is very helpful
~The first time she tells him about Susan he’s instantly chanting ask her out over and over until she’s laughing and blushing at his antics
~Half a year later and Eliza is subtly sending Alex updates from her dates while he sends her multiple thumbs up emojis and does the same with his own
~She also sets up him and Angelica and when Angelica gets confused about it she’s like you need to stop sacrificing yourself, let yourself be happy
~They share embarrassing stories about him with each other
~He meets John and them after Eliza in this one and it’s all separately
~Hercules comes first because Eliza’s father invited them to a fancy dinner party and Alex needs a suit and since he’s not well educated on these things yet she comes along to help
~Hercules is instantly smitten with Alex and Alex is instantly 😍 because “Eliza look at him!!! He looks like a damn quarterback but he’s so sweet and gentle!!!!” “Either you ask him out or I will”
~Hercules not-so-subtly likes guiding Alex around even though he thinks he’s being smooth
~“Alex there was really no point for him to put his hands on your waist like that, he could’ve told you to just move to the side one step” “… Yeah but did you see how well they fit there he could probably lift me up so easily” “Wow you’re so easy” “Do I need to bring up that cute barista the other day” “pLEASE DO WE HAVE A DATE THIS WEEKEND”
~By the end of the time there Alex is going out to lunch with a pleased but confused Hercules and Eliza is eagerly awaiting every cute picture and text
~From then on he has to deal with both Eliza and Alex stealing his clothes but he can’t really fight since they both look so cute in his sweaters
~The rest come really quickly after that
~Lafayette meets Hercules before the others because they come in requesting a special dress to be made and Hercules is Gone
~“You… You want a dress with a full skirt… But when you pick at a stitch on it the dress falls down into a ball gown?” “Yes, exactly!” “Can I ask why?” “Why? Well, chéri, it’s because I must ensure that I always am prepared for any eventuality and at the top of that list is a need to always look beautiful but entirely unattainable. Oh, that reminds me! It needs to be floor length with my being in eight-inch heels, I have a pair with me so you can measure accurately” “Oh holy shit”
~It takes them exactly one weekend to be brought into the relationship (Alex sees them and instantly is stunned into silence, Eliza flirts and within two minutes they’re already co-conspirators)
~John is next and he struggles with his sexuality and anything that comes from it so he’s very much in the closet when they meet
~John and Alex immediately are best friends and Alex tries asking him out but John very quickly refuses him and Alex takes a step back
~The combined power of the four of them helps to bring John out of his shell even though he’s very shy about it all so they’re respectful and let him suggest everything and move their relationship forward in his own time
~The first time he asks to spend the night with all of them there’s a little fight over who gets to sleep next to him
~Eliza and Hercules win, Lafayette and Alex pout
~Aaron and Theodosia Burr AKA Theo, Eliza, and Lafayette kill and the rest of them are literally powerless against them
~Dates are really fun with them because now there’s enough people to go on group dates and everyone can have a supposed other instead of it being just the mess of them (They still do it as the whole of them, its just more fun to have the people think they’re all separate couples then watch as they get more affectionate as the night goes on)
~Don’t think I’ve forgotten about the Washingtons
~George favors Alex and Laf, Martha favors Eliza, Angelica, and Theo, George is platonic with John, Hercules, Aaron, and the girls, Martha is platonic with everyone but her girls and sometimes Alex and Lafayette (She likes showing off that she’s perfectly capable of stealing them away from him but is graciously letting them stay with him. George jokes back and tries to rally Laf and Alex to joke too but they need time to come back to that plane of existence)
~WEEKEND TRIPS AT MOUNT VERNON WITH EVERYONE
~Eliza and Alex get so many kisses and cuddles since they’re the heart of it all
~Alex dragging everyone outside to look at the stars
~Lots of hot chocolate when Alex drags them outside
~Lots of spiked hot chocolate when they think Martha isn’t looking
~She totally knows since John keeps giggling but she let’s them have fun
~Eliza starts flirting with him to bug Alex
~Eventually she starts flirting with him for Alex no matter what he says
~“Look at the tension good god” “Betsey I swear…” ~Eliza has a near constant stream of frustrated texts from George
~“Eliza I’m suffering” “What is it this time, dear?” “They’re arguing again and they look two seconds away from making out” “I’m working on it. Have patience” “I can’t have patience anymore I can’t have meetings because this happens in every one”
~All the hate sex
~All the Jeffmads+Alex hate sex (I would include Aaron but the frustrations are over Washington but Aaron knows why Alex is favored by him and has worked out his own balance with George so he’s not jealous)
~Alex pulls them into the dynamic and they finally understand
~George doesn’t mind them finding out, he’s just glad the tension is gone (Though he has cut more than a few work days short because he walked in on them fucking on his desk because Alex wanted to tease him and he can’t handle that so he just walks out)
~There’s multiple incidents where they try to tease Angelica but she is Not Having It and takes great joy in showing them why
~Angelica Schuyler is my queen she wouldn’t handle any bullshit from them
~MARIA REYNOLDS PROTECTION SQUAD
~Elizabeth “If you touch one hair on my girl’s head I will personally kick your ass from here to California don’t test me” Schuyler
~Obviously she moves in with them immediately and spends every night sleeping between Alex and Eliza
~When things become too much in the city Eliza and her take a trip down to Mount Vernon for a girls-only retreat
~Maria and John never start a romantic relationship but they hit it off very quickly since they’re both abuse survivors (Her with James, him with his father) and John is more healed than she is but there’s wounds he’s still licking and sometimes its nice to just spend the day in silence with someone who understands that company is more important than conversation
~Eliza and Alex creating a crazy huge family for themselves which has confusing interconnecting romantic and platonic relationships but they love it so much they can’t describe it
~Whenever anyone asks about it Alex shows them the graph he’s made for them all
~Everyone has a specific color and one poor soul asks why he chose those colors and spends the next 45 minutes listening to him talking about why each of his signifs was given that very color choice
description: It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook.
The slight tremble in Jimin’s fingertips developed into a
full-blown tremor as he closed the door to his studio, effectively leaving you
behind — but it wasn’t that simple. It wasn’t that simple because he wasn’t just
leaving you behind. He was leaving you behind with a guy that you were
completely in love with… Which kind of blowed considering he was starting to
fall for you himself.
The music from the party was reverberating inside of his
chest and he knew that his ears should be ringing with anger, but instead he
just felt numb. It was like he
couldn’t hear anything; no music, no crowd, nothing.
It was all one giant blur that didn’t seem to make sense to him, and all
because his mind was screaming that nothing else mattered right now — nothing
except for you.
Jimin knew very well what leaving you in that room with
Jungkook meant. It meant every single feeling that the two
of you had ever had for each other would inevitably rekindle, and compared to what Jimin had with you,
even if he did consider it one of most amazing stints of time of his entire
life, it didn’t hold a candle to what you and Jungkook had, and probably always would have.