year of tiva

My NCIS Headcanon to Deal with that Ending

While packing for his trip with Tali, Tony accidentally drops Ziva’s photo of them in Paris. Amongst the glass, Tony finds a note with an address in Paris written in familiar handwriting. Tony and Tali take their trip to Paris, stopping by the address on the note. It takes them to an apartment where Ziva is waiting, assumed dead and safe from her enemies, the family is reunited, living happily ever after. 

That moment where everyone just assumes that Ziva knows Tony’s apartment intimately, because, obviously.

dazzlingstarlight  asked:

1, 3, 6, 7, and 10 for you too!

End of year Fic-Writer ask meme:

Thank you @dazzlingstarlight for the questions! And here are the answers. :)

1.) What’s your personal favourite thing you wrote this year?

Well, since I’ve been writing just one fic this year, I can only mention a thing from that fic. And there are so many things I would like to pinpoint as my favourite thing to write in year 2016, but I think I will go with the smut I wrote recently. That was the first time I actually DID a research for, lol. :D Just wait when I publish Chapter 13. ;)

3.) Which of your fics was most different from what you usually write?

Hazelnut magic, because it’s one-shot. I usually develop all of my ideas into multi-chap fics. One-shots are really rare. And even though I have ideas for one-shots, I usually develop them in my head into a multi-chap story.

6.) What’s your favourite piece of dialogue you wrote this year?

Now that was really question I thought about the most. Because I couldn’t decide which one to choose, since I’m not that good with some powerful dialogues. So I chose this one.

She raised her hand and softly touched his face with the tip of her fingers. He closed his eyes and purred as she gently stroked his cheek in a soothing gesture. “I love you, Tony.” She told him, watching as his eyes filled with enamored adoration. She just felt it was the right place to say it. And she wanted to prove it as much with her actions.

“And I’m sorry for e-” She started to apologize for breaking his heart many times before and refusing to get involved with him in any closer way. She was cut off by his kiss, though, as he silenced her effectively with it.

Pulling back, he removed the strands of her hair from her face. “I know. I don’t need to hear it.” He anticipated her need to apologize. However, it wasn’t necessary. He loved her so much that he was able to forgive her. Especially, when he now knew that she felt the same way about him.

“I just wish there were any words to describe what I feel.” He said regretfully, playing with her hair as he winded it around his fingers. “Because I think that ‘I love you, too’ doesn’t cover it enough.”

She smiled at him understandingly, perfectly knowing what he meant. She fell in love with confessing her feelings for him but the words seemed to be hollow. She’d love to use many other colorful words but none of them seem to meet with her requirements. It was a strange feeling, knowing about the great love deep inside her and not having any way to express it verbally.

She took his hand that played with her hair, intertwined their fingers as he breathlessly watched her doing so. Every touch seemed so electrifying at the moment, sending surges across their bodies. They held their hands for a while, locking their eyes to savor the moment of ultimate intimacy. Then, she put their joined hands next to her head as a sign of her surrender. She wanted him to have this kind of control over her and make love to her until their sweaty bodies dropped from exhaustion.

“Then show me.” She demanded, cupping his face with her free hand, touching with the tips of her fingers his soft shaven cheek. “Love me. Love me like never before.”

7.) What’s your favourite piece of description or narration?

I don’t even know, honestly, lol. :D But I guess this part? That moment of first meeting and the reaction were just so important to write the right way.

The hug was tentative at first, as they were both still trying to absorb the fact that they had met here in Prague. Soon, however, Tony pressed her desperately to his body, not caring about the fact she might feel how erratic his heartbeat was. She was alive, she was here. He had her in his arms. It was like the best Christmas present he could ever receive. Because she felt like Christmas, with all the cinnamon and vanilla scent in her hair where his nose was buried.

Ziva snuggled up into his body, pressing her head into his chest and breathing in his smell. The smell she had missed so much, the smell that reminded her of home. Despite the fact she could also smell the pastry he’d eaten few minutes ago–thus the walnut and sugar flavor. But he was her home, his embrace was her home. The funny thing was that she hadn’t known that just a few minutes ago. All she needed to realize that was to meet him.

“Ziva.” He whispered with quivering voice, feeling a great relief after he’d finally managed to say her name aloud.

Holding her in his arms made him realize one thing. He still loved her. He had never stopped loving her. He’d just pushed the feelings to the back of his mind. He knew it now, because the feelings were back with greater intensity than ever before. He was an open book now. And his love for her was the strongest emotion he was feeling at the moment.

She gasped upon hearing the way he’d uttered her name, sensing the huge amount of emotions behind it. She couldn’t stop the tear that found its way out of the corner of her eye. She wasn’t only moved by the fact that there apparently weren’t any hard feelings between them, but also no hatred, either. She also realized that, no matter how hard she tried, he was still deeply embedded in her heart.

Unbeknownst to him, she felt the same as he did. The love she felt for him came back to life. It streamed through her veins. It sent butterflies flying around her stomach. Her knees weakened. And if hadn’t known that she was in the middle of Christmas craziness, she would have sworn that the ‘hallelujah’ she was hearing was just resonating inside her head. All those feelings that she thought she had buried a long time ago had just returned with a crushing force.

10.) What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?

Basically, I want to more focus on my personal life, so writing will stop being the first thing I do when I have a free time. So if something is going to change, then my effort to write as much as I can because I will write occasionally and not every day. I guess that this kind of pressure can actually make me stop being lazy during writing, cherish the time I do it and thus be more effecient.

Thanks again for asking!


Q: Why does DiNozzo continue to hold on to the memory of Ziva?

Gary: “We can’t put blinders on about it you know? We can move forward and we can invest in Bishop and we can invest in the team and our team as a family and as they get to know each other and influences that come and go.. but at the end of the day we’re not putting our head in the sand to the fact that .. this was a major character in the show and just like we call back to Mike Franks or we call back to any of the characters from the past we’re not gonna shy away from periodically talking about Ziva as well. We know that it ruffles feathers and we know that gets people talking and that fans get going and..that’s okay you know? She’s a.. big part of Tony’s life and it makes sense that it comes up periodically, so…”

Because Tony and Ziva were my first loves, and the reason I started writing and I needed to bid them farewell. It’s been one hell of a roller coaster. 

“Perhaps they were right in putting love into books… Perhaps it could not live anywhere else.” ―William Faulkner

Taking care of Tali is the hardest thing he has ever done.

(After turning away from Ziva in Israel).

He sees her everywhere.

In the soft curve of Tali’s face, her olive skin, the graceful miel curves surrounding her wee face, the laughter that breaks her features, that same laughter which makes his heart stop.

Being with his child is both the worst torment he has ever endured and the deepest happiness he was ever graced by.

Days are easy.

Days are picking up little Tali who has fallen on the floor, pressing a kiss to her forehead and muffling her cries with love.

Days are strawberry ice cream at 4pm and her tiny body asleep on his chest while he watches a movie.

Nights, however, hold the secret of their demise and the shadows of broken dreams.

Nights are Tali’s scream at 2am, her frail voice begging for ima ima ima, and mind you, he can tell her as much as he wants shhh Tali, abba is here, she’ll just cry harder.

Those nights, he just cradles her head and holds her body against his, throat tight, tears slaughtering his eyes, and he presses his lips on her temples, oh Tali, I miss her too.

But nights are not only Tali’s nightmares, nights are his too.

He dreams of Ziva’s face crisped in pain, her body devoured by the flames, he dreams of her bidding farewell in this damn airport, he dreams of her loneliness when Tali was young and wouldn’t sleep.

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