yeap this is me making something

The Joker x Reader- “What You Wish For”

He always blurs out things when he’s mad and takes it out on the wrong people. If he wants you and your daughter to be gone, why not grant his wish? After all, the great Joker doesn’t need anybody around.

“…and you two are always around, I wish you would just disappear!” J grumbles, irritated that his plans for last night’s kidnapping went downhill. Of course he has to take it on somebody and since you and your daughter happen to be right there…again…

“Hey, knock it out!” you urge him, noticing Emma squeezing harder on her teddy bear. She keeps on looking at you and her dad, uneasy. “That would be enough, don’t say things like this in front of our kid!” you frown, stopping what you’re doing for the moment, which is folding her little dresses.

“I mean it, I want you two to vanish! You are in my way, I want to be alone! I need peace and quiet,” he snarls, pacing around the living room, pointing his finger at Emma.

“Where…where should I go, daddy?” she whimpers, backing out a bit.

“I don’t give a damn, just get out of my sight!” The Joker replies, going out on the balcony.

“Are you serious?!” you mutter, not believing what just came out of his mouth. Emma starts crying and you have to go and hug her, trying to comfort a child that doesn’t understand her father’s outbursts. “Daddy didn’t mean it, honey, ok? He’s just upset. Go get ready for bed and I’ll come tuck you in. Stop crying, he didn’t mean it,” you wipe her tears, feeling your heart sink.

“D-does daddy h-hate me?” she stutters in your ear, sniffling.

“No, of course not, never! He can’t hate his little Pumpkin, there’s no way,” you smile, reassuring her, caressing her back to make it better. “Come on, go get ready, I’ll be right there,” and you put her down, watching as she slowly heads towards her bedroom. You deeply inhale and follow J on the balcony, determined to make things right.

He is sitting on the couch, fidgeting with his gun. You stomp towards him and yank the pistol out of his hand, tossing it on the concrete.

“Don’t say mean things to your daughter, do you hear me? She’s not even 6 yet!”
“Get lost, Y/N!” he growls, pushing you away.

“No, I’m not getting lost!” you place yourself in front of him again. “You made her cry, are you happy about that? All that she knows is that you’re her dad and she loves you, she doesn’t grasp your … complicated behavior,” you make it sound as nice as you can since you want to strangle him on the spot.

“Shut up, Y/N!” J reaches for his gun but you take his hand and hold it in place.

“No, you have to go and make it up to her; you shouldn’t say such horrible things to Emma! I don’t care you are in a foul mood, deal with it!” you snap at him, annoyed. You let go of his hand and lift his chin up, forcing him to look at you since he’s avoiding your gaze.

“Is she…really crying?” he sighs, biting on his cheek. The bitter expression on your face confirms it. The Joker grunts, suddenly relaxing his shoulders and unexpectedly burying his face on your tummy. “I didn’t mean it…” you hear his muffled voice and you kick his shin, distancing from him.

“What would you do without us, hm? Don’t take us for granted!” and you turn your back, storming inside, not waiting for an answer. It won’t be a nice one anyway.

******************

The Joker gets inside Emma’s room, watching her play with the toys before bedtime.

“What are you doing, little Princess?” he asks, scratching his head because he doesn’t really know how to handle the situation.

“Waiting for mommy to put me to bed,” she answers getting up from the carpet, a bit startled, squeezing on her teddy bear.

“Wanna fix my hair?” J offers, fully aware that’s her favorite thing to do.

“Really?” she gasps, already searching for the comb, so excited for the opportunity. Children have such a way of being resilient.

He seats on the floor with the back against her bed. She crawls behind him and carefully starts combing his green hair, tracing the strands with her tiny hand.

“Ahhh, that feels good, Pumpkin Pie,” he purrs, closing his eyes. “You’re doing a great job. Can you purr for me?”

She leans over and makes some silly sounds, trying so hard to imitate him and J chuckles, grabbing both of her hands and covering them in kisses.

“I don’t want you to go away, alright?” J tils his head backwards, watching her giggle when he tickles her sides.

“Ok, daddy,” she kisses his Damaged tattoo and he senses that weird ache in his chest again. It’s a strange type of pain The Joker can never quite pinpoint.

You stop in the doorway, leaning against the wall and watch them, pleased your daughter looks happy now.

“Time for bed, honey,” you announce but let him tuck her in. “Did you do daddy’s hair? It looks great,” you praise her, kissing her goodnight and Emma nods a yes, thrilled you like it.

The Joker leans over to cover her with the blanket and kisses the tip of her nose. Emma locks her hands around his neck and pulls him down so she can hug him.

“I love you, daddy,” she snickers, waiting for him to say it back.

“Me too,” J shortly replies, attempting to get out of it.

“No, daddy, you have to say it!” your daughter whines and it makes you so proud.

Good girl, you think. You’re the one that taught her to make J say the words because he needs to: a reminder never hurts.

“I did,” he cheats, trying to trick her.

“No, you have to saaaaay it,” she cups his face, waiting.

“You sound like your mom, you know that?” he scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Fine, I love you too; are we done here?” J mumbles, kissing her one more time and letting go.

“Yes, daddy, we’re done,” she snatches her teddy bear from you and widely smiles when you wink at her, approving the strategy you worked on so hard. She’s not your kid for nothing.

*******************

J watches you change for bed and you glance at him, not being in the mood to talk anymore. He doesn’t say a word either so you just turn off the light and go on your side of the bed, knowing you will fall asleep soon because you are tired.

“Say, Kitten, are you going with me tomorrow? I need you for the heist,” he starts the conversation.

“Maybe,” you yawn, punching your pillow to make it more comfortable.

“You know, I really wanted to…”

You fakely snore, louder and louder, interrupting, hinting he should stop talking.

“Very funny, Baby Doll. You’re hilarious,” he mocks you, finding it hard to stay awake. “Do you still love me?” J sarcastically inquires and he distinguishes your fingers in the dim night light, showing just a small gap between the thumb and index. “That’s it?!”

“Yeap, already too much” your answer promptly comes and you get under the sheets, not wanting to continue the dialogue. “I’m exhausted.”

He wants to say something harsh but ends up babbling stuff to himself as you ignore his behavior.

******************

“We’re going to the park and then for a drive. I’ll be back in time,” you little note on the kitchen table lets J know of your plans when he wakes up. He spends the day preparing for tonight, instructing his henchmen on what to do and gathering supplies for the robbery. Why aren’t you texting back? The Joker hates it when he sends you messages and you don’t respond right away.

A few more hours pass by, still nothing. And why didn’t you two return yet? You have to go with him tonight. Texting again for the 50th time, no reply… and again, and again. Couple more hours go by…it’s getting dark, no sign from you. Time passes by and nothing.

J starts to get impatient. It’s night time now and he has to cancel the plans. Everything is postponed. My God, he’s not thrilled about it but there is no trace of you so he forgets he is mad about his ruined scheme. He calls around to see if anybody saw you or heard from you. Nobody did.

Where are my girls? he wonders, reading the message from Frost that lets him know the henchmen didn’t find anything around town. The Joker sent them all out and about to search for you and he stayed behind at the penthouse, just in case you will return. What if someone took you? The thought makes him squirm on his chair. What if you just…left? That’s impossible, there is no way you would… …right?… What if you got caught? Would they take you to Arkham? The police station?…

1 in the morning and he is getting more and more restless and worried on your disappearance. It’s so unlike you to do such a thing, even if you fight you never leave him hanging: you always text him back or tell him your whereabouts.

Where are my girls?

He finally has the peace and quiet he was so adamant to request this morning, but dammit, the silence is deafening. This is what it feels like without you and Emma around? You are always around. J doesn’t like the quietness. At all. Or the weird ache in his chest again.

If nothing turns up in a few hours, he will look for you two himself with the whole crew, even hire more people. Swipe the city to every little corner until he finds something. Will he find anything? He has to, no other option.

The Joker needs his girls back.

*******************

“Ssstttt, be quiet, honey,” you tell Emma as you close the door behind you. You pick her up in your arms because she is very sleepy and fussy. You went to the park and then got out of Gotham for a drive. You really wanted to take her to the woods on the old deserted highway because it’s your favorite spot: you can see deers out there and so much wildlife she would have surely enjoyed. But your car broke down in the middle of nowhere and on top of everything  your phone died and you didn’t have the charger with you.

The entire day you tried to find the problem and fix it with no success. Then the night came and you couldn’t see well anymore and decided to wait until the morning. You were lucky another vehicle passed you by and the driver stopped to help. The guy had no idea who you were but it didn’t made you less alert and prepared to kill in case he turned out to be a psycho. Ha, that’s a good one. You actually softly laughed at the idea: a woman like you suspecting someone else of being a psycho.

But… he was actually able to start your car and you drove right back to Gotham.

3 in the morning- jeez, what a looong day!

You walk in the master bedroom and you see The Joker sleeping on your side so you have to go on his, carefully placing Emma in the middle and finally winding down.

“Daaaddyyyy…” she snuggles to his chest, half asleep, realizing he’s there.

He opens his eyes and gulps, crushing her in his arms while she winces, uncomfortable.

“I can’t breathe…” she complains, already dozing off and he loosens his embrace, reaching for you.

“Where…where were you????????” he whispers, concerned but striving to conceal how distressed he still is.

“The stupid car broke down”, you hum, keeping it down for your daughter, scooting over towards him as much as you can without squashing your kid,” and the phone died too. The whole thing was such an ordeal, really bad luck. I am beat. Did you go on the heist?”

“Yeah,” J lies. “Why, you think I wouldn’t go without you?” he hisses but you don’t even care. You are already snoozing, holding his hand on top of Emma.

“Didn’t you enjoy the day without us though?” you struggle to say in your sleep. “You didn’t want us around…”

“Yeah, it was great,” The Joker intertwines his fingers with yours, continuing even if you don’t really hear him anymore at this point. “ I had fun without you two.”

My girls are back, he thinks, finally at ease after being on the edge all day. And the weird ache in his chest makes him take a deep breath. It’s a strange type of pain he can never quite pinpoint.


Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

Handsomely Swapped

Pairing: Dean x Reader add Cas
Word count: 3.1K
Warnings: language, SMUT, lots of oral, bi!Dean, bi!Cas and bi!Reader just go with it.
A/N: This was written for Jordan’s trope Challenge @queen-of-deans-booty. My trope was Body Swap, so this might get confusing but I tried my hardest to make the correct distinctions. Also I blame Jordan because she convinced me to give you guys all the smutty goodness that you are getting. Which meant this fic went from about 1,500 words to over 3K. I’m sorry, no, I’m not sorry. I hope you enjoy!
Feedback inspires me to write more, please leave a comment! Thank you!





“So this is the place.” Sam said just filling the air.
“What do we do now?” Cas asked.  He had only been human for a few weeks now and the guys thought it would be a good idea if he came out on a hunt.
“Now we wait for this witch to show herself.” Sam put the binoculars to his eyes looking past Dean’s head.  
The three hunters didn’t have to wait long when they spotted the lovely brunette housewife, that they suspected of being the witch, enter the side door of the house.  With stealthy precision they made their way to the house, Dean quickly picked the lock. They split up once in the house, Cas went with Dean and Sam circled around to ambush from behind.  Dean and Cas rushed in catching the witch off guard, she threw the first thing she could get her hands on at them both, the white powder formed a thin film over their clothes and she started to chant in Latin.  Cas understood everything she said and he knew it wasn’t good.
convertere anima tua mutare speciem tuam
Dean reached for her trying to stop her from chanting, Cas cut off her exit to one of the doors.  Sam came through the other door frame with his gun drawn and shot the witch right in her chest, she dropped to the floor dying on the hardwood.  The men quickly grabbed her body and wiped down any fingerprints and they made short work burning her body and disposing of any evidence.
Throughout the evening Sam kept checking on Dean and Cas, “all I’m saying is you guys were hit with some serious mojo.  We gotta be careful.”
“Sammy, we’re fine.  The witch is dead. Don’t worry so much.” Dean responded to Sam’s concerns,  “I’m going to call (Y/N/N) she sounded better this morning.”.

Keep reading

Special Episode! (Rapmon Birthday!)
  • Rapmon: Y/N! Come home quick! I made something!
  • Y/N: You made something? You sure you didn't break anything?
  • Rapmon: Were you particularly attached to that vase in the living room?
  • Y/N: NAMJOON!
  • Rapmon: Yes?
  • Y/N: You are so dead when I get home!
  • Rapmon: Glup.
  • Y/N: Namjoon! Where are you?
  • Rapmon: In the kitchen!
  • Y/N: Not the Kitchen! What did yo-
  • Rapmon: What do you think? Fancy dinner for the two of us.
  • Y/N: It's surprisingly nice, but what's that behind you?
  • Rapmon: Not a mess, totally not a mess.
  • Y/N: You sure?
  • Rampon: Yeap! Have a look!
  • Y/N: It's clean... How did you do this?
  • Rapmon: Magic. I made everything myself. Come on, sit down and eat.
  • Y/N: No way... You actually made everything.
  • Rapmon: What do you think?
  • Y/N: This is...fantastic!
  • Rapmon: Hold up, Let me get something.
  • Y/N: What's in the box?
  • Rapmon: Open it. I think you'll like it.
  • Y/N: A...metal link?
  • Rapmon: Actually it was supposed to be a ring... I didn't do a good job.
  • Y/N: Did you make this?
  • Rapmon: Yea...
  • Y/N: I LOVE IT! I'm going to wear it! It..doesn't fit.
  • Rapmon: You can throw it away...I'll get you a better one.
  • Y/N: No! I won't. *Ties on as necklace* There! Now I can carry it with me all the time.
  • Rapmon: It looks beautiful there.
  • Y/N: What's with all of the gifts today? I don't think it's our anniversary...
  • Rapmon: I wanted to surprise you before I left..
  • Y/N: Left? Where are you going?
  • Rapmon: On a tour... for at least 2 years...
  • Y/N: What?! Why so long?
  • Rapmon: It's for...
  • Y/N: Comeback?
  • Rapmon: Kind of? How about a debut project in America?
  • Y/N: For two whole years?!
  • Rapmon: At least.
  • Y/N: What about us?
  • Rapmon: I don't know... I asked manager about it..He said you can't come with us, and I can't come back to Korea...
  • Y/N: What does that mean? We are...Over?
  • Rapmon: I don't know...
  • Y/N: Do something! You're the leader! Can't you do anything?
  • Rapmon: I tried... but I can't.
  • Y/N: I don't want us to be over! We can't be!
  • Rapmon: I know...I feel that same way...
  • Y/N: Namjoon-ah, you can't just go...I love you.
  • Rapmon: I love you too, but this is goodbye for now...
  • Y/N: For real? I have to let you go?
  • Rapmon: I'm so sorry...
  • Y/N: Namjoon...
  • Rapmon: I know...
Imagine (14) - How to Get Away With Murder

Anonymous asks: Hi I’m extremely clumsy and I think I didint sent it as I’m very clumsy, so there we go I would like to ask you for HTGAWM imagine/one-shot *puppy eyes* where you are Frank’s little sister and you are dating Asher and Then you nearly get murdered while working on case with them or something along those lines, i’m completed hopeless , i had this idea for quite a while 💕 Love, Me xxx

modified it a lil!

(not my gif)

Asher Millstone

“If you treat people like trash, the fuzz is gonna find your ass,” Asher mocked as he held a microwave pizza in his hand.

“Who’s gonna find your ass?” you strutted into the Keating’s residence and heard your boyfriend’s one-liner.

“Apparently you,” Michaela chuckled as she looked at Asher, who had instantly opted to be more masculine.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” asked Asher in a much more mature and manly tone and trying to flex his arms. 

“Hey babe, how’s your day? Have you eaten? Would it kill you to say that?” you smacked his shoulders, causing Connor to laugh.

“Hey babe, how’s your day? Have you eaten?” Asher sighed and then stood beside you like a quiet little mouse.

“My day is good. I’ve eaten, thank you for asking,” you grinned as you hugged Asher like a teddy bear.

“Y/N 1, Asher 0,” Connor teased, causing Asher to shoot glares at Connor.

“Y/N, we need you more around to control this one,” remarked Laurel as she gave you a welcoming hug. Laurel was your favourite. Of course, Frank had a part to play in that.

“What brings you here?” Wes asked.

“She’s here to work on Zoe’s case,” Frank answered as he walked into the living room.

“Technically, I’m here to monitor the situation, not help,” you corrected Frank, passing him the box of cronuts you had bought for him.

“Monitor the situation? Why would we need monitoring?” Michaela asked, crossing her arms.

“Oh- no no, don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to inspect you or anything, I’m here on behalf of the courthouse. Turns out victim’s family is one of the Board of Directors in the law enforcement industry. DA wants me to make sure there’s no foul play for this case,” you explained.

“With these amateurs working on this case, we need all the help we can get-” 

“How many times have I told you to be more polite? Is he always like this?” you cut Frank off and asked the rest.

“Yeap, definitely need you more around here,” Connor remarked and the rest laughed.

Just like that, you sat in for all the meetings, including the ones with Zoe. Something about her just didn’t felt right, she gave off a…weird vibe. 

“That poor little girl,” Asher remarked when you and him were snuggled up on the couch, enjoying an episode of Law and Order.

“Woah slow down goof boy, aren’t you trusting her words too much? She’s a sociopath,” you asked.

“She isn’t a sociopath, and did you just call me goof boy?” Asher replied.

“Or so she says,” you retorted.

“Sounds to me that someone’s jealous,” Asher smirked as he threw a popcorn over my head.

“Please, don’t,” you replied and rolled your eyes.

“I’m serious Ash, I’ve been watching her during the meetings and she’s on her phone all the time,” you added, recalling the number of times she had been using her phone.

“Maybe she’s keeping her bae in the loop,” Asher suggested playfully.

“Say ‘bae’ one more time,” you threatened. You hated that word.

“Okay, sorry,” Asher apologised.

“I don’t know, there’s just something off about Zoe,” you expressed your opinions. 

“You’re never gonna let go of this until you figure out why she’s on her phone aren’t you?” Asher said.

“You know me well,” you smiled.

“Asher 1, Y/N 1,” Asher raised his fist up in the air as a sign of victory.

The next time Zoe stopped by, Asher had distracted her by having conversations with her about My Little Pony. Such a pathetic distraction tactic almost made you fail in getting hold of her phone and uncovering the reason why she had been constantly using her phone.

“Y/N stole Zoe’s phone,” Asher said during the Keating Five meeting.

“What?” Michaela said.

"She thinks-” You glared at Asher.

“We think she’s a sociopath,” Asher sighed.

“You stole our client’s phone, you’re the sociopath,” Laurel remarked.

“We’ve found out the reason why Zoe’s using her phone all the time,” you said.

“Yeah, cause that’s what teens do,” Connor replied.

“That’s what Asher thought initially too, but I just didn’t buy that. So I took her phone and I discovered the HAS app,” you explained.

“HAS app?” Wes asked, looking confused.

“Oh you’re still here with us, almost thought you didn’t exist, ” Connor remarked, causing Wes to roll his eyes.

“Hidden Away Safe. You guys don’t know about it? It’s an app that people use to hide stuff from people. I use that all the time to keep things from Asher,” you explained, realising you had drop a bombshell at the same time.

“What?” Asher dropped his food, while the others looked at you in shock.

“Don’t worry, I’m not cheating on him,” you flashed an easy smile before switching on your laptop.

“Anyway, watch this,” you instructed the others and played the video that Zoe had kept in her Safe.


“Stop it! Why are you doing this to me?!” Molly cried.

"Okay, now squeal like a little piggy like Rachel did,” Zoe laughed.

"Yeah, little fat piggy bitch,” Megan added.

“Aah! Stop! Ow! I want my mommy!” There were laughters, grunts as well as gagging noises. 

“You know, we should do it again,” Zoe suggested.

“What are you talking about?” Molly asked.

“You know, like, kill someone. Like Mrs. Collins? You know, she gave me a "C,” so we should carve a “C” into her forehead right before we gut her,” Zoe suggested and did a stabbing action, causing Molly to follow suit.

“Holy crap,” Laurel remarked.

“We’ve got to get this to Annalise, pronto,” Connor said.

“My work here is done,” you rubbed your hands and felt satisfied.



“They are what?” you gasped in shock. You just had dinner with Asher and he was driving you home.

“Burying the footage so we win the case,” Asher said softly and looked down.

“But she’s a violent killer who wants to violently kill again. She’s dangerous Ash!” you exclaimed. 

“But Annalise’s ordered Frank to destroy all evidence. We can’t stand up against Annalise,” Asher explained. 

“My brother agreed?” You asked, feeling enraged by how he had no moral values.

"Of course, he’s Annalise’s loyal watchdog,” You remarked when Asher nodded.

“They do realise that I’m supposed to report Annalise to the court if this happens right…?” You said.

“That’s exactly what Connor and I told Frank, but he said he’s gonna trust you not to rat out on him,” Asher replied.

You sighed. Frank was right, you wouldn’t bear to rat him out openly to the judge. His job was on the line.

“Rest early, I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said and planted a kiss on Asher’s cheek before exiting the car.

Zoe’s trial was tomorrow. You couldn’t stand the idea of her walking away scot-free for such a vicious crime and you knew that she would kill again. After endless tosses and turns on your bed, you’d finally figure out how to stop her without getting your brother and Asher into trouble.

The next morning at trial, you slipped a copy of the video to the Prosecutor, signed by Anonymous.

Before you went to join Asher and the others, nature’s call brought you to the washroom. When you came out of the cubicle, Zoe was using the sink.

“You’re never gonna get away with this you know?” You said, calling her out for being a murderer.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Zoe replied.

“That video you have on your phone, Molly has a copy of it,” you explained as you washed your hands, feeling victorious.

“How did you know about the video on my phone?” Zoe turned and glared at you, demanding for an explanation.

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that this case is over Zoe, you lose,” you said calmly.

Before you could react, Zoe had grabbed your neck tightly, preventing you from breathing.

“Let go!” You exclaimed, struggling hard to break free. It was frightening how a 15 year old teen could have such a tremendous strength.

“If I’m losing, I’m dragging you to hell,” Zoe added, having a menacing look on her face.

“Bye Miss L/N,” Zoe said in a sweet voice.

You were about to snap, until-

“Let go of her!” Asher exclaimed as he dashed into the washroom and knocked Zoe off the ground upon realising what was happening.

“I hate you all!” Zoe screamed and ran away.

“Hey, you alright?” Asher hurriedly rushed to you, pulling you into a hug.

“Yeah, almost thought I’d died in the washroom,” you replied.

“More importantly, how did you know I was here?” You crossed your arms, raising a brow.

“I’d figured that you would probably slip in an anonymous copy of the video to the Prosecutor,” Asher explained.

“So I went to the Prosecutor’s office and my thoughts were correct. When I wanted to approach you, you went into the Ladies. Then I heard you scream so I dashed right in,” Asher replied.

“I swear, if I was wrong that you were in trouble and dashed right in, I would be the one in trouble,” he joked.

“And if you hadn’t, I would be dead right now. Thanks,” you smiled. You chose not to report Zoe, she was going to be charged for murder anyway.

“Ash 2, Y/N 1″ He smirked, doing a celebratory dance on the spot.

“Y/N 2, Ash 2,” you replied, pulling him in and pressing your lips against his, until-

“Excuse me? This is the Ladies mind you!” a lady entered and gasped upon witnessing a couple making out.

Ashton Daddy Smut

Requested: Yes

Anon asked: Ash super kinky daddy smut plzzzzzz

Writer: Alex

I Bet 

“1000 bucks, the one who holds it till the midnight, will win them” they guys was always talking that our relationship was all based in pure sex, today, Ash and I had decided to make a bet, the one who handle more not touching each other or ourselves will win 1000 bucks “No touch, no kiss” “Yeap… Are you ready Irwin?” “Let’s do this Y/L/N” and with that, the clock start ticking, this is probably, the hardest day I would ever had.

2 P.M

2 P.M in the afternoon, we were all in the kitchen waiting for our Panda Express, Mike makes all of us eat it because he got like three days he didn’t eat it, but there’s something missing, a high pitched voice, I look the room, he was nowhere “Hey did someone saw Ash?” “I haven’t see him till this morning” Calum said, this is starting to get strange, Ashton is capable of everything to make me fall before his manhood, Then I felt his footsteps, I turned around to look at him, what a surprise, he was all sweaty, his golden locks covering his hazel eyes, and that stupid smirk “Hey everyone” he said “Hi bro, went to the gym?” “Yeap, this baby’s need some caring” he lifted his arms to flex his muscles, my cellphone fall to the ground, in the last few months his arms became bigger, more muscular, more manly, my weakness was arms and back and Ooh Ashton got them so nice “That’s not fair!” everybody in the room looked at me, but Ashton still got that stupid grin on his face “Well, it was not touching, not kissing, we never talk about no teasing” “Ok, this is how we are going to play? Ok”

4 P.M

I went to the mall, to the first Victoria’s Secret shop I saw i get in, I pick up a little black dress with lace and pinky bows, a new pair of lace underwear, this time skyblue, so virginal but so sexy, just how he likes it, a new pair of black heels, do I was planning to wear that with Cal, Mike and Luke? Yes, I was.

I got home and run to our bedroom to get ready, I heard them laugh in the living room, I put on the bra first with a really short homemade denim shorts and that bracelet my best friend give me for my ankle, I let my hair fall into my shoulders, a little bit messed up, to make it look wild. I walk down and pass right in front of the T.V, I heard how one of the controllers fell onto the floor “Y/N!” I heard Ashton’s voice “What are you doing!?” he came into the kitchen, the three other following him “Just wearing my new bra, it was a little tight, so I’m making it grasp to my boddy right as I want” “But you can wear shirt!” “Oh c’mon Ash! Imagine is just a swimsuit”, the veins of his neck were prominent, eyes lust fulled, I crossed in front of them as I heard Ashton saying “Michael Clifford stop looking at my girlfriend like that!” I laugh.

I get in the bathroom again, but this time I knew very well that Ashton will be in the room, so I picked up the panties and the garter belt and some smocked white sucks I buy one time, I heard how the door of our room burst open and got closed, this was my opportunity “When I was talking about teasing I wasn’t tal-” his jaw almost fall into the floor when I came out wearing that lingerie, I walk to my fully body mirror to look at it, but it was just a pretext to see his reaction “Hum, I think I should have bought the other one” I put my hands in my breast making them almost burst out of the bra “W-What?” “Oh, this isn’t too tight? My boobs want to escape from it” his gaze fly to my breast, he licked his lips, Ashton was a boobs man, and this, is practically a dessert for him “Hu- A- I think- I think they are good” “Oh really?” I put my breast in between my arms to push them up, like struggling them “Fucking shit yeah” he walked to me, but he stops “Ooooh you bitch! You will not win those bucks!” “HA we will see that”

8 P.M

Concert time, this is going to be really hard for me, one of the things that turn me on like the fucking hell, was looking at my muscular boyfriend banging those drums like there’s not a tomorrow. I was getting ready to go to the concert when Ashton came out of the closet with the tightest shirt i had ever seen “Wtf, that don’t even fits  you!” he humbled and get into the living room, I run down to see them all laughing “Ashton I think is a little bit tight?” Calum says, Ashton looked at me “Yes it is, I can barely move my arms” and when he lifted up his arms, the crashing sound of the material sounded in all the room, Ashton’s muscles bursted out of the tight shirt claimly their freedom, I almost fall off from the stairs, I feel my legs weaker, not able to caressing my own height “Alex are you ok!?” Luke went up to pick me “Yes yes, is just- is nothing is nothing I’m ok” we all went out to get in the Van and head to the concert

11 P.M

I was laying in the bed, with the baby doll on, and the sexy underwear I bought, if Ashton don’t demist sooner, I fucking knew that I was screwed up, I was horny as fuck and I can’t hold it anymore. The door burst open, a heavily breathing Ashton came in “Fuck it” he jump right into me, making me the winner “HA I WON!” he take off his shirt and skinny jeans “I can’t hold it anymore fuck” “I WANT THOSE 1000 BUCKS! WOHO! YOU CAN SUCK MY PUSSY MOTHERFUCKER” “Oh thrust me, those are my plans” with that he grab my hips to pin me to the mattress, take off my panties and start to eat me out “Fucking shit YES! Finally!” he sucked my clit hard, making me scream “You think you can get away with all those view and teasing you gave me huh?” he slaps my clit, this was new, the little pain faster came into pure pleasure “Shit!” “You are such a bad girl” he did it again, this time his hand rolled up to my breast, I put my hand above his, he grab it hard, he was as much desperate as I was.

I felt the notch on my stomach, telling me that my orgasm were close “Shit Ashton” his gaze was all over my face, looking at every expression, every movement, everything that I was doing, I pull his hair, rolled my eyes to the back of my head, too consumed for the ecstasy’s. I came undone in his fingers and mouth, he licked all my juices “Look at me” I open my eyes and he lift his hand to his mouth to lick his fingers, I moan, this was so fucking sexy; a sweaty Ashton, his golden lock above his eyes and that sexy grin he has when he know that he got me just where he wants me… But, as much as he like to have control, I like it too, he pumped his shaft getting nearing to my face, I giggle “this little game of you will cost you a lot… Now suck my dick you my lil bitch” I take his shaft on my hand to pump it, Ashton face expression was priceless, eyes hardly shuttled and his mouth were forming an ‘O’ of pure pleasure “Y/N fucking suck it” “What if I don’t suck daddy’s dick?” “I will fucking punish you, now suck it” I lay on my back, exited to know what was that dark promise he leave in the air “Naa, I don’t feel like I want to suck you tonight” he expression faster became angry, I could feel my wetness on my thighs.

He grabbed me, he take off my bra and bend me over my stomach, he take both of my arms in my back, to tied them with my panties. He grab my ass to hardly squeeze it and then smack it “Don’t you want my ass Daddy? Don’t you want to spank it a little?” with that he spank me again and again and again; I felt my eyes watering from the pain, he take his shaft in his hand to tease my entrance with it, he rolled the tip all over my folds, he spank me again “Say my name, let everyone know who is the one fucking you” he slap me again, a thousand times again “Oh God Daddy! Oh Daddy!” I was crying, of pleasure, of pain, everything around me was moving “Do you want me to fuck you baby girl?” “Yes… Yes daddy fuck me… Fuck me hard” he enters on me hard, making me left a breathy scream, he squeeze my arse hard “Fuck” I heard how he says it through greeted teeth’s. I was about to break myself in two, more tears of pure lust and pleasure leaves my eyes “Fuck Ash… I can- I can’t handle it” “C’mon baby, I know you can” he fucked me roughly, fast and deep, his hand flew to my clit to massage it “Ashton, fuck STOP!” “C’mon baby, we both know you don’t want that” he fucked me more hard bringing me to my final… All my vision became white, I was in another world, I flew out, the amount of pleasure was just too much, Ashton has never make me cum like this, I’m painting in between him and the mattress, he collapses beside me, heavy breathily “Fuuucking shit” he untied my wrist, to kiss both of them. I turn around to cuddle on his sweaty body, he covered me with his big arms, hugging me, being the closest I can to him, listen cheerfully to his heartbeat “I love you” I bursted out, he kiss my forehead “I love you too babe” 

-Sorry i got a little bit carried away don’t blame me i’m an ashton girl! however thanks for the wait, sorry it took to long, i had to take a fly to netherlands (my beloved country) and couldn’t find my passport HOW IRONIC however, please enjoy

Alex

The Joker x Reader - “French Fries”

How you and The Joker met involves a pretty surreal story involving French fries and Arkham. Due to both parties’ impulsiveness, you got married on a whim and never had a proper wedding reception. Time to finally take care of the issue.

The Joker is 46

You are 43

You oldest son, Kase is 17

Your youngest, Kaiden just turned 16


Your sons walking in the office unexpectedly makes you jump.

“Oh my God!” Kase gasps, covering his younger brother’s eyes while pushing him out.“Don’t look!”

You are all over J in a very much needed makeout session after you just had a fight an hour ago. It was about the wedding reception coming up next month: you just can’t decide on the color of your outfits: Purple? Green? Classic black and white? After all the conflict, it’s still up in the air.

“What are you guys doing back so early?” you shout, getting off your husband’s lap and fixing your hair as you pull down the hem of your short dress; The Joker is not happy with the interruption.

“Can’t you two knock?!” he snarls, trying to regain control of himself.

“We thought you weren’t here; so sorry,” they elbow each other, silently snickering outside the door.

“Be grateful we weren’t naked!” the Prince of Crime points out, winking and you mutter a faint “Stop teasing them.”

“Ewww, dad,” Kaiden scrunches up his face, holding the folder they wanted to leave in the office for both of you.

“How do you think you two showed up, hm?” J buttons up his shirt, only the 2 bottom buttons of course.

“Jesus, dad, we don’t need a visual!” your oldest son complains, patiently waiting to come in.

“Are you guys decent now?” Kaiden asks after texting one of his friends.

“Yeah, come in,” their father announces and you go back to sitting in his lap since you can’t help it.

The two boys stroll inside the office again and you are handed the binder you were expecting: new updates about Arkham’s security policy.

“I though you’ll be gone all day,” you look at them, admiring how much they look like you and J.

“That was the plan, but then uncle Frost… (a low grumble from your husband) “…said he was able to obtain this for you and he dropped us off so we can bring it over. We knew it is important so we just came back.”

“Uncle Frost!” the eruption is quick to follow. “Give me a break!” The Joker hates the fact that your kids call you best friend “uncle”. “Isn’t it enough that I have to put up with him being your mom’s best friend? He’s not your uncle. Period!!!”

Well, this is going downhill very fast; you and your boys know something needs to be done: J has to be distracted.

“So, dad, you met mom during Arkham prison time, right?” Kase points out towards the folder that is currently placed on the desk, taking a sit on the couch by his brother.

J stops his rant, takes a deep breath and switches his focus on the new subject – one of his favorites.

“Yes, in the cafeteria. They brought me there every day in the strait jacket, chained me to the chair at the table in the left corner…Remember that, Pumpkin?” the roar is fast to follow and you yank at his holster, pleased at the memory.

“U-hum…”

“It was my recreational time; I wasn’t allowed to eat with the others. Nobody even looked my way. Until one day, I see this woman walking towards me, a fellow inmate, apparently. She seemed out of it, probably from the meds, quite awkward in that orange jumpsuit that was definitely not her color. “

“Yuck, horrible color indeed,” you recall, shivering with disgust.

“Anyway, she just comes over, drags a chair from a nearby table and slams this plate full of French fries in front of me. She takes a bite out of a fry and feeds me the other half. I really wanted to snap her fingers with my teeth but I didn’t. You know why?” he addresses his sons and there’s no answer. “Because she smelled like chaos, despair and slaughter.”

“My natural pheromones,” you cross your legs and J squeezes you harder towards him.

“Exactly! She looked like crap and so insane I was smitten. I asked for her name and she didn’t answer.”

“That’s because I didn’t remember it ; the stuff they have me was very strong. I just saw this guy sitting alone at a table without a plate and I thought I should give him something to eat.  I didn’t even realize it was the King of Gotham,” you explain to the kids again, your heart beating so fast recalling stuff you are very emotionally attached to.

“You mom kept on coming day after day and shared her fries with me: always munching on them first, then gave me the other half.”

Every time the story is told, there’s always new details emerging, one crazier than the other.

“I didn’t know this part!” Kaiden admits and his sibling agrees.

“Oh yes, it happened,” The Joker bites his lower lip, enticed. ”After about 10 days she stopped coming. I didn’t want to care but it bugged me. I really had to fight with myself on that one, but I behaved for a whole week and as a reward I was allowed to roam around the cafeteria for once. I searched for your mom and there she was: alone at a table, staring at her empty plate, completely gone.”

“Yeap, they changed my meds so I was even more screwed up,” the simple explanation makes your boys laugh.

“Anyway,” their father continues, “ I kicked her chair and she didn’t even blink. I think you hold the record, Doll: I’ve never seen anybody gazing at something without blinking for so long.”

“ I can still do it,” you proudly utter and your butt gets pinched.

“Good Kitty,” J whispers in your ear and the boys suspect there is something going on but not sure since it was a very discreet gesture. “So,” he gets all pumped up again,” I took the plate, filled it with fries and placed it in front of her. She didn’t move so I said: ‘Eat your stupid potatoes, craziness.’ Nothing. Your mom was completely bonkers. I kicked a guy off his chair at a nearby table, grabbed it and sat by your mom. Took a fry, bit off it and gave the rest to her. She actually ate it and I kept on doing that until the fries were gone. “

“That’s pretty amazing, dad,” Kase praises the tale, immersed in the topic.

“Right?!” The Joker huffs, full of arrogance. “When Frost and my men came to bail me out of there, I searched for your mom, don’t ask me why,” he lifts his shoulders up, not having an explanation after so many years.

“Jonny was the one that carried me outside after they found me,” you bring it up, delighted. “ I wasn’t in great shape to walk so he lift me up in his arms and stomped on the corridor ; your dad was too busy beating the shit out of two guards that were mean to him with a baseball bat. He looked so classy while doing it and I thought: ‘My God, what a perfect man, adding such a personal touch to his revenge; no gun, just him and his bat.’ “

“I am perfect,” your husband scoffs and Kase softly kicks his brother’s shin, trying not to draw attention to his signal; he holds in the laugh and continues to listen.

“I remember that I sneezed on Jonny’s impeccable suit and instead of getting mad, he smiled and said ‘bless you’…”

“Hold on!” Kaiden interrupts, “Uncle Frost smiles?!”

“Smartass!” you snap, “Just like your father,” and you are getting groped as revenge.

“Bad Kitty!” J growls and you giggle, starting to kiss him all over his cheeks, forehead, temples, then peck his lips.

“Jeez, dad, you’re 46!” the youngest son discloses with a grimace. “Aren’t you embarrassed to have mom spoil you like this?!”

“No! Why should I be embarrassed?! I deserve it !” he answers, irritated.

“U-hum,” you mutter, amused and aware he means it. “Did I ever tell you I was the one that asked your dad to marry me?” you divert everyone’s attention to the new, captivating plot.

“No way!!” the two siblings shout in the same time.

“Yes, after only two weeks we escaped Arkham, I said: “You should marry me, Green Hair.” And your voice goes low, imitating The Joker: “ Why?”; “Because I shared my fries with you,” I replied and your father agreed: “Fair enough.”  Now, if this is not the most romantic thing ever, then I am totally insane,” you conclude, kissing your husband.

Your teenage kids gaze at one another, puzzled: they have no idea how you two function since you live in your own little world; a real mystery.

“So you got married only after 2 weeks?!” Kase double checks, surprised by the revelation.

“Yes. Like, why would we need more?!” J responds, not understand what the fuss is about. “We got married the next day. Frost was the witness and I’ll never forget the look on the reverend’s face while held at gunpoint, officiating the fastest marriage ever. We were out of there in 10 minutes, huh, Pumpkin?”

“Yes, it was super-fast,” you regretfully sigh. ”Never had a reception.”

“That night, there were fireworks, I’m telling you,” The Joker winks and the boys protest.

“For heaven’s sake dad, really?!”
“ You two have dirty minds; there were fireworks because it was the 4th of July,” the wicked chuckle resonates in the office. “So much fun to tease them,” J reckons, thrilled to have someone to taunt all the time.

“Stop messing with my babies,” you pout, but he knows you enjoy it also.

“What are you boys up to?” their father wants to know about his sons’ plans.

Kase opens his mouth to report on what’s going on but J cuts him off.

“Hold that thought, I suddenly have an itch that only your mom can scratch!”

“Jeez, dad!!!”

“Seriously?!” the protests are fast to follow his comment.

“You kids have a really dirty mind, definitely my offsprings ,” the proud observation coming from the Joker makes them shake their heads as you take a deep breath, knowing there is nothing you can do about it. At least it’s funny. “I have an itch here, on my shoulder and since Y/N is right here, she can scratch it for me.”

They both roll their eyes and J slaps your waist, excited:
“They’re soooo much fun to pick on!” the malicious snicker echoes in the room again.

“Well,” Kase reports, “ I have a date tonight with Aria.” (That’s Frost’s daughter)

“NO!!!” your husband barks.

“What?! WHY???” your oldest objects, unhappy at his dad’s refusal.

“One date is gonna lead to another and God knows what else and before we know it I’ll be related to Frost!”

You want to laugh so badly it’s hard to hold it in.

“Baby, it’s just a date,” you try to cool him down, gently tracing the collar of his white shirt. “They always hang out anyway, so…what’s an official date added to that?”

“No way in hell! Did you kiss her yet?”

“Yeah, many times,” the teenager swiftly spits out, and you smile to yourself because you already knew the little secret.

“Shit!! I’m gonna be related to Frost!” J panics, displeased and he shoves himself into you, feeling he’s starting to sweat from anxiety.

“They are just teenagers, handsome, you are thinking too far ahead,” you state the evident detail, kissing his Damaged tattoo.

“He’s not going!” J fumes, determined to stop any kind of actions that might lead to him being related to your best friend. The ideas he gets…

“But dad…” your son has a vague comeback and his younger brother warns him to shut up.

“I don’t wanna be related to Frost, don’t make me repeat myself one more time! “ The Joker shouts, antagonized.

You wink at your sons, then turn your attention towards the third child you have:

“If your dad says no, then it’s a no,” and they get up to leave.

“Fine…” Kase sulks and his sibling opens the door so they can both get out. Once the boys are on the hallway, they silently high five, smirking.

“Mom got this!” oldest mutters, relieved. “I’m going to take a shower soon and get ready for tonight.”

“Can I come too?” Kaiden begs since he doesn’t want to be left behind.

“No way, dude! Find your own date!” he shows his brother away and they start horsing around on the way to the kitchen.

In the meantime, you got on the desk, keeping your feet on J’s lap while he tries to figure out why the damned computer just froze. You sigh, puckering your lips, which prompts the question:

“What’s wrong, Doll?”

“Too bad we got interrupted, hm?”

“Yeah, no kidding. Those kids need a life, teenagers are supposed to be out and about, this way we can have fun too.”

You pretend to be upset and scoot over more towards the edge of the desk.

“Mmmmm, since my baby can’t have fun, I’m not in the mood for too much either.”

“What do you mean?” The Joker licks his silver teeth, intrigued.

“A shame you didn’t even get to see what I’m wearing under this dress…”

“What exactly are you wearing under your dress?” He wants to sound totally uninterested, but you know better.

“Purple lace, one of the most outrageous, obscene and vile pieces of lingerie you’ve ever seen.” J is absolutely obsessed with purple lace, one of his few weaknesses.

“Your strategy is not going to work, Pumpkin. I don’t care; he’s not going on that date.”

You lift your shoulders up, playing with your nails.

“Can I…e-hem…” he fakely coughs, “…get a little glimpse to see what I’m missing on?”

“If you insist,” and you pull down on your front zipper, revealing the outfit in all its might and glory.

“Fuck!” he gulps, scrolling back on his chair so he can see better. “That is niiiice. Daddy likes it, get over here!”

“Nooo, I don’t feel like doing anything anymore; plus, the boys are here also, so…”

“Playing hard to get, huh?”

“If my baby can go on his date, I might be happier also…” you playfully tap your toes on his knees, zipping up your dress again.

You sons barely made it to the kitchen when you peak inside, triumphantly announcing:

“Honey, you’re going on that date with Aria.”

“I knew it!” Kase comes and strains in order to lift you up in his arms.

“Don’t break your back, Casanova!” you point out and he puts you down, panting, kissing your cheek in the process.

“You’re the best mom!” he compliments you, feverish it all worked in his favor.

“I know,” you caress his face, turning around to leave and thinking: “the purple lace strikes again.”

You’re almost out of the kitchen when your oldest has an outburst:

“I wish dad was more like you, mom. Sometimes he can be such a jerk!”

You freeze in place, your right eye twitching.

“What did you just say?!” you spin on your heels to face him, being so mad your ears are ringing. Kaiden gets frightened seeing how menacing you look walking towards his brother. “Did you just call my husband a jerk?!”

“Ummm…I …I…didn’t mean to,” Kase stutters, realizing he’s in big trouble.

“Your father might be a jerk, but that’s for me to assess and deal with, do we understand each other?!” you raise your voice, pissed. Kaiden places himself in between you two, alarmed – you’ve never direct such anger towards them before and he knows it’s dangerous to keep you in this state.

“Mom, mom, he didn’t mean it, you know he’s stupid! Mom, please look at me!” he cups your face, forcing you to glare at him. “Mom, please…he didn’t mean to…” he repeats, scared to see how you get when you can’t control yourself.

You exhale a few times, struggling to keep it together.

“You’re lucky you’re my kid! If I ever hear you disrespecting your dad again, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life. I shared my fries with him and I never share my fries, so don’t talk like this again! Did I make myself clear?” you sneer, annoyed.
“Yes, mom, I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean it…” he whispers, startled.

“No date!!!” you decide and your boy is stunned. “ No cell, no TV, no computer, no tablet, no Play Station for 2 weeks!!!” and you signal for his phone which he gives up right away, figuring out it can get worse if he doesn’t comply.

You snag the phone from his hand and head towards the balcony to chill.

“You’re an idiot!” his younger brother concludes, still shaking from the commotion.”What is wrong with you?!”

**************

Kase decides to go talk to his dad, maybe there is something he might be willing to do to shorten the sentence.

“What’s the ruckus about?” The Joker growls, still trying to figure out why the computer is acting out.

“I said something I shouldn’t have and that woman took it out of proportion,”  his son whines, not comprehending the extent of his new offense. “Now I’m grounded for 2 weeks.”

His father stops typing and adjusts his gold bracelets, then lifts his cold, blue eyes to stare at his kid.

“Did you…just…called your mother…that woman?!” A few bones crack in his neck and to say he is furious would be an understatement.

“Ummm…Yes, I did, I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to,” Kase wants to patch up his huge mistake, backing out towards the exit, unsettled.

That woman,” he gets up his chair, slamming his fist on the heavy oak desk,” shared her dumb potatoes with me at Arkham, and she never shares her fries. Do not disrespect my wife or I swear you will deeply regret it, understand??!!!!” J shouts, trying to control himself since this is his own son, otherwise he would probably be dead now.

“Y-yes dad,” Kase stammers, fleeing the office before it gets worse but its’ too late.

“Add 3 more weeks to those 2 your mother punished you with!” the grave, deep voice makes him aware while his younger brother punches his side, irked:

“You’re a moron!! If you keep it up, you’ll be grounded until you’re 40! A complete ass!!!”

“I don’t need this from you,” Kase pushes away his sibling, bitter and resentful.

But after about 30 minutes, he decides that is better if he apologizes to both you and J.

He goes into the office and it’s deserted.

“Mom? Dad?” he takes a quick look around. “Where are they?” Kase mutters, intrigued. “Hey, Kaiden, are mom and dad upstairs?” he yells and the reply confirms:

“No, not here, maybe on the balcony?”

The penthouse is pretty big, on two levels, 7 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms, the huge living room being the center of it, plus the kitchen and the balcony. Even so, it shouldn’t be that hard to find one’s parents. But there is no trace of you two.

“Kaideeennnn!” Kase shouts again, “I think they abandoned the nest again and sneaked out to go on one of their little dates!”

“You mean robbery?” his brother comes out of the bedroom, gathering his long hair in a messy bun.

“Yeah, that! Wanna go and catch a movie? I’m grounded, but only from electronics.”

“Might as well since we’re home alone. Hold on, I need to get my gold bracelets!” (just in case you were wondering which son takes more after J).

After the boys leave, you and The Joker come out from under the desk you were hiding. When Kase barged into the office, you and J were beneath it, plugging and unplugging cords, messing with the wiring, trying to figure out why the computer doesn’t work. You stopped what you were doing, deciding not to disclose your whereabouts. Now that the kids are out of there, you’ll have some privacy with your husband. The little strategy worked and you are more than happy to enjoy some fun time.

Unfortunately, the boys came straight home after the movie. They walk inside and it’s dark.

“They’re not here yet,” Kase stretches, walking in front of his brother and when they take the corner to get to their rooms, they notice the door cracked opened to the master bathroom, candle light flickering in the darkness. Water splashes, you giggle and their father purrs so loud they feel the need to make their presence known right away:
“Ummm, we’re back…” Kaiden sniffles, clenching to his brother’s arm.

“What?!” they hear your displeased comment and J groans, fed up with all the disruptions.

“Hold on, baby, I’ll take care of this,” you kiss him before getting out of the Jacuzzi. You grab your fluffy robe and get out on the hallway, turning the lights on.

“Hi, mom,” they both greet, looking guilty like they did something wrong when in fact…they didn’t.

“Aaahhh, my beautiful boys,” you get in between them, taking their arms and guiding them downstairs. “Why are you home so early, hm?”

“It’s 10pm, mom,” you youngest shyly attempts to bring it to your knowledge.

“So early! You teenagers are supposed to be out there, doing crazy stuff that young people do.” You make them walk towards the elevator, not before stopping in front of the armoire and taking out hundred dollars bills that you stash in their pockets until they don’t fit anymore. “Go have fun, the night is young!” you encourage, pushing them inside the elevator when the doors open. “Kiss!” you point out towards your cheeks and they each kiss one in the same time. “Have fun!” you wink before the elevator’s door close.

On the way down, the siblings look at each other, puzzled.

“Did we…did we just kicked out the penthouse so our parents can have sex?!” your oldest son addresses Kase, scratching his arm with the new tattoo he got last week.

“Obviously…How much do we have?” his brother inquires, trying to put together the pile of hundred dollar bills you gave him.

“Not sure…” Kaiden takes a visual of both their monetary resources, concluding: “A few thousands?”

“Acceptable amount for a decent night out. You do realize we have the best parents ever, right?”

“Pffftt, suuuuuure,” his brother replies and they push each other around, snickering all the way down.

*********************

Tomorrow is the big day: you’ll finally have the wedding reception you never had.

The Joker goes into the bedroom, carrying a small box. He places it on the nightstand on your side of the bed and heads out of the room, but Kase blocks the exit.

“Where are you going, dad?” he crosses his arms on his chest in disapproval.

“To get your mom so we can go to sleep,” J squints his eyes, not seeing the big picture.

“NO! It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding,” and Kase slams the door in his father’s face, locking it from the outside.

“Are you kidding me?!” a very vexed Joker bangs at the door. “I’m already married to her; we’ll just have the reception. Open up!”

“Nope, you’re not sleeping in the same room tonight, gotta keep some traditions going!”

“I can’t sleep without her, open up, don’t piss me off!”

“No way, dad, not this time!”
Three doors up, you were looking for some items in the guest bedroom and now that you are done, you should probably go to sleep so you are heading out of the room when Kaiden blocks your way.

“Where are you going, mom?”

“To sleep,” you divulge, wanting to pass by but he won’t bulge.

“No, mom! Dad can’t see you tonight. It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.”

“We are already married, you silly child, we’ll just have the reception.”
“No, mom!” and the door gets slammed in your face and locked on the outside.

“What in the world?! …Open up, don’t annoy me! You know I can’t sleep without your dad!”
“You’ll have to, mom, gotta keep up the tradition!”

And the brothers meet up in the middle of the distance separating your temporary prisons, fist bumping and pleased at their little perfect plan to keep you apart for the night.

Meanwhile, you found a solution to your problem: you are walking on the railing constructed on the outside of the building, carefully moving with your back against the brick wall. The cement railing leading to the master bedroom is not very thick so you don’t even look down from the 30th floor, hoping you’ll not get dizzy since you hate heights. You finally reach your destination and knock on the window. J is still at the door, annoyed he has to put up with his crazy kids and their crazy ideas.

“Princess!” The Joker grins when he sees you and rushes to open the window so you can slip inside.

“Ssstttt!” you smile and jump in his arms. “Keep your voice down, we have to let them think they won, otherwise they’ll keep bugging us!” you whisper in his ear, glad you will be able to sleep since you can’t afford dark circles and baggy eyes tomorrow.

“I was thinking to do the same,” he points out towards the window, moaning when you keep on biting and kissing his neck in frenzy. “I got you something, Doll! Consider it a wedding gift,” J places you on the table and grabs the little box he placed on the night stand earlier.

“Yum, it smells good, what is it?” you open it with the outmost curiosity and…”OH MY GOD!!!!” you look at him, stunned. “Are these…Arkham French fries?! “

“Surprise!” he chuckles, keeping it low. “I had to pull some strings to get the damned potatoes but…here they are. Still warm.”

“Wanna share?” you hop off the table and clasp his hand, taking refuge in the walk - in closet. After you seal the door, you feel this is your new fortress so you start eating the fries. “Wow, baby, they taste the same. Do you reckon they have the same cook?!” you lean your head on his shoulder, biting half of one piece and feeding him the other half.

“Wouldn’t be surprised,” he licks his lips, pleased he got you so excited with the little present. “Trapped in there just like the rest of the inmates.”

“Probably,” you sigh and slide down to the floor, continuing to munch on your food.

“Holy crap!” your husband gasps when notices a small piece of your reception gown coming out from under the plastic wrap. “Is that…purple lace?!”
“U-hum,” you nod your head and he gets worked up.

“How am I supposed to make it throughout the day with you wearing that?! I might have to steal you away for a couple of hours so I can get it out of my system,” he yanks you in his arms, roughly kissing you.

“I was counting on that,” the naughty look on your face lets him know. “Auuchhh,” you protest in pain when his hands go down your back.

“What is it?”

“It still hurts a bit,” you uncomfortably squirm in his lap and turn around a bit so he can see. “I got it this morning,” and you lift your shirt up, disclosing the patched up skin at the bottom of your back. “Take a look; it’s one of your gifts!”

The Joker peels the bandage and gasps: your new tattoo represents a pile of fries and hearts, having “I only share with Mister J” written around it.

“I fucking love it!” he caresses the skin, aroused. “It makes me wanna…” and he stops, devouring you with his blue gaze.

“What, Daddy? Makes you wanna  do what?” you outline his lips, mesmerized.

“…eat more fries!” he gropes you and you start laughing so hard he has to cover your mouth. “Shush, those crazy kids will hear you!” but he’s laughing too so you have to cover his mouth. After you calm down, you take another fry from the almost gone supply, take a bite out of it and give J the rest, not wanting to waste any.

After all, you got married because of these damned things.

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

7

Imagine going to a dog pound with Jared and Jensen to adopt a dog.

(Gifs not mine, credits to their owners)


You had just finished your shooting in set and ran to your trailer. You were so excited… After changing your clothes, you stormed out again, taking your car-keys before leaving. You rushed to your car when you walked next to Jared, Jensen and Misha. They were talking and laughing about something. You’d usually stop and chat with them but not this time.

“Hey Y/N!” shouted Jensen, calling your attention, “Are you going to the dog pound?”

“Yeap,” you smiled, “That gorgeous husky is coming home with me today,”

“Why don’t you take Misha with you? He could make some friends there,” laughed Jared.

“Ha-ha, you’re so funny,” mocked Misha.

“Why don’t you take both of them so you can exchange this two animals for that dog?” joked Misha.

“Guys… behave!” you smiled, “I have no time for this, but if any of you wanna come with me you’re welcome to join!”

“Wait, I’ll go with you, I’ve finished my shooting so I have nothing better to do,” announced Jared.

“Well, I’m glad to be your first option,” you winked an eye at him and you both headed to your car.

“Guys wait!” you heard Jensen, “I wanna go too. The other option is to stay here with Misha and I still prefer dogs,” you cackled loudly… they were so childish sometimes…


You drove all the way to the dog pound and when you arrived, your friend Ali was waiting for you.

“Here I am!” you said crossing the door, “I brought back-up.” Jared and Jensen smiled behind you.

“Is he here?” you asked excitedly.

“Yeap, let’s go,” said your friend, taking you and the guys to the room where your future dog was waiting.

As soon as Ali opened the door you entered the room. You were in love with the animal, he was so cute. You slowly approached to him and extended your hand.

“He is shy,” smiled Ali, who was standing next to the door with the guys.

“Give me your hand,” you said to the dog. You got so surprised as the rest of the people there when he did so. You turn to them, smiling like a child, letting them know how happy you were.

“Ok, he likes you, that’s good. Let’s go fix the documents so you can take him home!”

You stood up and walked behind Ali, with the boys telling you how much they liked the dog.

“He’s super cute!” you laughed.

“At first he is shy, but then he turns to be a sweetheart. Sometimes he gets grumpy but he isn’t a troublemaker, so you have nothing to worry about.”

When you reached the office you stood there waiting for her while she looked for some paper in the desk.

“Have you thought a name? Because I’m gonna need it, for the sheet”.

“I didn’t actually… I don’t know…Maybe Max? Like the one in The little mermaid?”

“Are you kidding me?” asked Jensen, “that’s a shitty name…”

“Oh excuse me sir!” you fake-apologized looking at him. Suddenly, the perfect name crossed your mind.

“So you say he is shy at first, then a sweetheart and sometimes grumpy?” you repeated, remembering what you friend had said.

“Exactly,” she answered.

“Well, then, I’ll name him Jensen,” you smiled tightly and turned to him. He covered his face with his hand, definitely done with you, while Jared broke into laughter supporting your idea.

“So be it!” chuckled Ali writing down the name.


You were playing with Jensen when you heard your phone buzzing. There was a new Whatsapp from the Supernatural group. You opened it and read it.

Misha: I’m tired after this whole day filming.

Jensen: We’re tired too, bud.

Misha: How did the dog thing go?

Jared: Awesome

You laid on the floor with the dog and took a selfie to send to the group.

Y/N: (image) Here Jensen is tired too!

You waited for a second until Jensen’s answer appeared.

Jensen: Jerk

Y/N: Bitch!

Jared: Bitch

Misha: Bitch, I kinda like that name!


Hey! I’ve decided to change a bit the intro because yeah. Hope you like it!

I’m tagging: @kbrand0 @spnwriting1 and @raeganr99 (If you wanna be added or removed from this list let me know!)

  • TEACHER: ...but tumblr is not very used in this country, so...
  • ME: I HAVE A TUMBLR!!!!!!!!!!
  • * all the class looks at me *
  • TEACHER: really? is it active?
  • ME: yeah, you could say...
  • TEACHER: do you have followers?
  • ME: yeap, they are more friends than followers, tho.
  • TEACHER: that's tumblr, more in personal categories than professional. you share opinions and debate with your followers all around the world. how many do you have?
  • ME: ten thousand.
  • TEACHER: what?
  • ME: ten thousand.
  • TEACHER: oh my god.
  • * everybody here make me feel like a queen or something xD *
Jack Gilinsky Imagine: you are jealous from Jack because of Like That video, and he loves it

“Baby, you didn’t like it?” Jack asked you, because you were with a weird face.
“Of course I like it, you know this is my favorit song…”
“I made for you” he smiled all those feels inside you burned, but you looked at the PC and you were cold again.
The video was all the song was saying, and you really love Skate and Sammy… But that girl dressing LIKE THAT… Yeap he just said that he wrote the song for you, but you couldn’t help the jealous…
“Tell me baby, what’s the matter?” He pushed your face to make you look inside his eyes.
“There is nothing wrong, dady…” you smirk at him.
“I know what you’re doing, you always call me dady when you want tô distract me, now I know that something is wrong.” He looked at you deeply you sighed.
“I didn’t like her” you finaly said, running away from his look.
“Y/n please look at me” you did, feeling your cheeks burning. “She’s nothing, I made this song to you, you, not her… She’s just an actress. You are everything, and I love you” he kissed you and was looking at you with a smirk.
“Why are you smirking at me?”
“I’m not smirking”
“You are! Why?”
“It’s because…”
“Because…”
“I like when you’re jealous…”
“You’re ridiculous!” You claim.
“Yeas, I am, but… You like me like that…”
“But you really got me going mad…” You played.
He rolled his eyes and kissed you kind like he always does before start doing his thing.
“You know I’m sword of mad with you, I still get jealous…”
“Hum… You’re jealous… And mad… This is going to be greate, love”
“You’re the worst!” You said and he took the PC away grabbing you.
“Yeah, and you love it”.

Simple but effective {cameron dallas}

A/n: okay so I’m trying to finish off my mission and you ana-huerta are one of my ‘targets’. I know this is late and I am sincerely sorry. Hope you enjoy :)

Your P.O.V
“GOD DAMN ANA! I DONT CARE IF THEY TOUCH YOU! DO YOUR JOB” my dumbass boss basically screamed.

I work in a cute little cafe/diner thing, well at first I thought it was. I was way to underpaid for this but I need this job to leave this dump.

Jaw clenched, knuckles white. I walk out of his office. I stormed down the old hall and into the kitchen. Past the kitchen and behind the counter. I slammed my hands down to the hard surface, not giving a rats ass. I heard a slight clearing of someone’s throat.

“And what is your problem” a familiar voice said.

“Look jake, I can’t talk right now, that fat guy over there wants more coffee” I said, pointing to the bald guy with the pop belly in the corner of the room.

“Well I bet ya have time for this” he paused for a second, “I asked one of my mates, if you could get a job at his restaurant, he said yes”

My face lit up and my body had a sudden rush. Then my brain got an idea. I snatched the coffee pot from the holder and rushed towards the fat man. I knew he couldn’t resist- *smack* he slapped my ass for the forth time. THE FORTH! TIME! I smirked and poured the hot coffee into his lap.

Jake stood behind me laughing his fat head off. The mans face was in soo much shock he just sat there. Wide eyed and mouth open.

“Close your mouth doll, might catch flies” I chuckled walking away.

“I QUIT!” I yelled throwing my name tag and apron on the dirty floor.

“That was so funny, the look on his face was priceless” jake laughed following me out the door.

“I know, I have wanted to do that all afternoon” I huffed, hand raking through my hair.

“Oh you start in about..” He glanced at his watch, “two hours” he finished.

“I WHAT!?” I squealed stopping right it my spot.

“Well, he was in need of some help, his team of hostesses were cut short” he answered scratching the back of his neck.

“Take me home now!” I said an urgency in my voice.

“Wher-” “home” I cut him off.

We walked to his car and climbed into the vehicle. The metal monster roared. The ride was silent because he knows that when I’m stressed I don’t talk, which means I don’t want to talk.

We pulled up to my house and he smiled and waved. I gave him a death glare. “Send me the details you dork” I said sternly.

“Already did” he smirked. “Look, I’m sorry for-” “no don’t be, you got me out if that hell hole” I cut him off.

*at the restaurant*

“Soo Ana, your pretty good at this, uhm one more job.” My new boss said happily. I nod and wait his command.

“You see those boys over there?” He asked pointing at the corner table.

“The brown headed ones?” I asked slightly confused. I would have said more but I don’t want to describe how hot they are to my new boss.

“Yeap, those boys, they have been sitting here for an hour and haven’t ordered anything.” He says casually. “I want you to persuade them to either get out or order something”

I was slightly shock at his need. “What makes you so sure I can make that happen?” I asked genuinely suspicious. Happy that he expects me to be so.. You know? But suspicious none the less.

“Your friend told me you are, and I quote "sassy and demanding yet sickeningly sweet”, trust me I don’t really understand any of it but demanding" he finished laughing

I crack a small smile. “I think I’m gonna like it here” I mumbled walking to the guys table.

“No Nash, you don’t” the brown eyed model laughed.

“But I am!” The blue eyed one I’m guessing is Nash, chuckled back.

“Look, you either buy something or leave” I growled, ‘trying’ to be polite.

Nash? I think, just laughed at me and stared at the other.

“Sorry but I’m waiting for someone” the brown eyed fool replied. I knew he was lying.

“Oh.. Well in that case” I started of sweetly, “I don’t care! Now order or leave” I grizzled, crossing my arms over my chest.

“okay, okay calm down! God!” The model-ish looking one snapped.

“Now what do you want?” I asked nicely.

“A nice host and… some fries” the model said bitterly.

I rubbed my temples and groaned. “Okay.. And you?” I asked Nash.

“Uhmm maybe a burger? Just a cheese burger” he replied smiling.

‘Really? At a restaurant and you pick that?’ I thought. I chuckled and wrote it down.

“I’ll see that yous get what you want” I said while walking away.

“Zayum! Nash she’s so….” He whispered but failing by his loudness.

“Cameron, calm down” Nash laughed.

*minutes later*
“Here you go boys” I said putting down their plates.

“Uhm thanks…” Model boy trailed off leaning to look at my name tag, “Ana” he finished smiling a toothy smile.

“Your welcome” I chuckled.

I looked at the blue eyed one, he smirked and said ” I’ll be at the car”. His hands pushed himself off the seat and grabbed his plate. He rushed to the door and left.

“He does know you can’t keep the plates right?” I laughed pointing at the door.

“I don’t know, probably not” he laughed back.

He looked up at me and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Hey, uhm I’m sorry for being so rude” he looked everywhere but me.

“If I’m being honest, I should apologise I was the one being rude” I replied sitting in the seat across from him. He opened his mouth but was cut of by-

“Ana! I trust you! Don’t make me regret it!” My new, good boss hollered and threw me the keys. It was about to hit me in the face but a rather big hand caught it for me. Model boy. “You owe me” he said quietly, I could just hear a smirk on his flawless features. “Lock up for me? Please my wife’s waiting at home” my boss simply stated. I looked at the model across from me, he had a nice big smile plastered to his face.

“Okay, goodnight and thank you again for the job” I smiled.

He nodded and walked out the door. He suddenly walked back in and said “is that your friend? He seems a bit lost?” He asked staring out the window.

I looked out the window and there he was. Nash was standing out by the car. He looked at the ground in a daze.

“Yeah sir, he’s my friend” the boy next to me piped up.

“Okay? Well goodnight” he said walking back out the door.

“I gotta finish up on the dishes” I started, about to start walking.

“No! Stay? Help me… Finish my uhm food?” He asked more than telling me.

“Okay” I said, grinning “wait. What’s your name?” I asked.

“Cameron” he said with a mouthful of fries.

I laughed obnoxiously loud. He just say there in awe starring at me. I stopped and my checks flushed pink.

“You’re cute when you blush” he chuckled.

I pushed my hair back and just smiled.

“Well.. I gotta go clean up” I nervously stated.

“Well.. I got the keys, so I suggest you stay” he winked.

Is he trying to flirt?! Omg, he is!

“Well actually I was just gonna leave so you could clean up” I teased.

“Well what would you do if I didn’t?” He asked leaning closer to me.

“Well I don’t know, what should I do?” I flirted back. Leaning in as well

“Well how abo-” “CAM! I’m bored and cold can we g- am I interrupting something?” Nash butted in wiggling his eyebrows.

I slid back into the seat. Trying to cover my cheeks. “Aww she’s so cute, you’re right, you guys should totally go ou-” the rest of the sentence was mumbled and unable to hear. I looked at the boy. Cameron’s hand was covering his mouth.

“I really think we should be going” Cameron rushed. He stood and rushed out the door.

My smile faded. I didn’t even get his number. I gloomily got up and was clearing the table. Next to Cameron’s plate of fries was a napkin that said “call me! (123 456 78911), I would love to hear from you”.

I burst out into little fits of giggles. I turned around and fist pumped. But pooped my pants. Because cameron was standing behind me with a huge smile on his face.

“Someone seems happy” he smirked leaning against the door frame.

“No.. Uhm yeah?” I asked, unsure of my answer.

“Well I was giving you back your keys” he said stepping forward.

“Thanks” I replied reaching for the keys.

He moved his hand just out of reach.

“Not unless you give me a.. Uhm a kiss”

I rushed to his arms and placed a small soft kiss in his lips. He smiled as I pulled away. My lips tingled and my body felt electrical.

“Now uhm step two” he mumbled, “go on a date with me” he stated confidently.

I was in a trance, “of course” I answered unaware of me words.

“Good” he replied. Placing a small kiss on my nose.

He walked out the door and to his car. I carried on looking out, to find Nash hi-fiving Cameron.

I laughed and quickly pulled out my phone.

To: CAMERON :D x

Can’t wait, sleep well :) xx

I sent it and hummed happily. Cleaning as I went.

From: CAMERON :D x

I am excited to, night babe xx

I don’t think I have ever cleaned so fast I’m my life.

*at home*

From: CAMERON :D x
Thank you c:


To: CAMERON :D x
For what? X


From: CAMERON :D x
For letting me sleep with the biggest smile that has touched my lips x

I blushed deeply and sighed.

“And thank you, for making me the happiest I have been in a long time” I mumbled. Drifting off to sleep.

A/n: this is bad I know, but hey can’t win’em all right?

anonymous asked:

i just love when rey asks for his name and finn gets a very sweet and completely and significant fond smile before he answers. it makes me feel he's remembering how thankful he is for that man that he only met for a couple of minutes, but who trusted him right away and make him feel like he belonged and had a place in the galaxy. i feel that smile before he presents himself as "finn" for the first time is also him saying "yeap, i'm gonna honor that man that believed in me to be something more"

Oh my goodness, YES!

I cannot believe I forgot that one! I’ll add it =)
Thank you anon <3

"Do you fancy me?" part 4/?


Previous chapters

Word count: 1737

“It won’t take long” you promised Dan in vain.

“Aren’t this same exact stores back in Berkshire? God, I don’t understand women” regardless, he drove through the parking lot gate.

“Yes they are, but is not the same clothes in stocking. And you don’t need to "understand” me now, you just need to please me" you pouted at him like a child begging their mom for a new doll.

“This was supposed to be a trip through the city, not the mall” Dan said from behind, while you searched the racks.

Keep reading

You are not stupid

When I was in the elementary school we took psychology tests to see which high schools we should pick. We have gymnasiums which can be general or biligual and then you have highschools were you specialize like you study the economics, etc. Basically gymnasiums were THE THING back in the day where only smart kids got in.

I remember being told that I have no chance  to make it in a highschool like that. Yeap. I was ten? Eleven?

Anyway, I got in and I finished after four years in top three percent of my year.

Then again, during those years we were given psychology tests and once again I was told there is a snowball chance in hell I would get into, less alone to finish medical school. That I should pick something easier.

Yeah yeah I will be finishing medical school next year.  

I was never the smart kid. Studying never came easy to me.

I always loved to read, but mostly for my own pleasure than anything else. I loved science, bio and chemistry. However I mostly hated those classes. I almost failed physics that one time. And math. 

I didn´t get into medical school the first time. I went to study bio major for a year and I´d say it was a better thing for me then because I realized two things. I could be happy doing anthropology or entomology or parasitology (oh don´t let me start on tapeworms it´s embarrassing how much I know about them, it is NOT however a good theme for a first date…yeap)

but I also realized that I would hate myself if I didn´t even try at least one more time. However I was not happy with the education system in our biggest and oldest uni in our city. And then my mother told me that this other old uni where people used to do their postgraduals just opened a new faculty. And it was a medical faculty so I tried it and I got it. 

We are 40 people in my year (there is 400 of them in the older Uni) and I have the same teachers and I study the same things and once I am done I am gonna be a doctor. 

Trust me it´s a very strange thing for me writing this.  It´s been a LONG FRICKING TIME coming. 

You are gonna be told that you are not good enough or smart enough, in some case not rich enough, or you are not a men (yeah this is sadly still a thing where I come from). 

YOu are gonna be asked: And are you sure? And do you wanna study for like urhhhh FOREVER?

It´s a long way to go on, I am not denying that. It´s gonna have ups and downs.

But… it´s worth it. I cannot tell you it´s gonna be worth it in ten years from now, or twenty or fifty because I am not there yet.  However I hope I still will keep at least shred of this idiotic optimism. 

Anyway,

You guys,

You can make it. 

But now it´s Sunday, so go out and take a breather.

Try again tomorrow.

A little creepy

The last two weeks had been amazing, Nick was almost the perfect boyfriend, if she could just get him to stop leaving wet towels on the end of the bed after showering he’d be a step closer to perfect. 

Things had been going so well, and the nights they spent apart just seemed the longest in the world. But those nights did not seem to be very frequent, and seemed less and less likely to happen. They seemed to be taking turns staying at each others house.

Eva was at work and her mind was most definitely on the man in the shop next door who had only been gone about twenty minutes after stopping in with a vanilla latte for her.

“Afternoon, Eva.”

Eva looked up and smiled. “Hello, Rex. You in for some flowers for you mother?”

Rex nodded, he was a local biker who worked as a bouncer at the biker bar down the block. He was a nice enough guy, he’d come to Eva’s aid a few times when some of the drunks had given her grief, but there was just something about him that made Eva a little less than comfortable around him, even with him coming in every two days for flowers to take to his mom at the nursing home. 

“Yeap, she loves your flowers, say they brighten up her day. You should come with me one day and meet her, I’m sure she’d love to say thank you in person.”

“Oh, that’s very sweet.” Eva replied moving to start making up an arrangement for Charlene. 

“Maybe tonight?" 

"Oh, I can’t sorry. I’m going to dinner with Nick.” Eva replied with a smile and Rex frowned.

“Nick? The tattoo guy?”

“Yeap, we’re seeing each other now.” Eva replied. Rex didn’t talk much after that, just got his flowers, paid and left.

The rest of the day went without much of interest happening and soon Eva was shutting up shop. She stopped short to find a teddy bear waiting on the counter when she returned from freshening up out the back. It was dressed like a bee and said Bee mine. It was adorable.

Eva was smiling wide as she picked it up and headed out to next door to meet Nick. She kissed him on the cheek. “I love the bear.”

“Bear?” Nick looked at the toy and frowned. “That’s not from me.”

“Oh, you kidder.” Eva smacked him lightly in the arm. “Who else would it be from.”