yeah. tony

So I was just thinking about infinity war and imagine Tony yelling “Peter” and both Spiderman and Starlord answer and he’s just like
Fuck
Now there’s two of them

GoTG Meet Avengers


Peter stares, watching them all a little blankly. By his side, Tony has his head in his hands. He’s been groaning for the past twenty seconds.


“So… you went on a ten-year murder spree where you joined a terror organisation of your own free will in order to kill Tony, who wasn’t even responsible for the death of your parents in the first place- and then decide that just Tony isn’t murderous enough for you, and go for the rest of his team for some reason, too?”

Across the room, Wanda bristles. “It wasn’t like-”

“And then your team leader let you on the team you were trying to murder? Almost immediately after the one single fight you helped them with?” Gamora interrupts. Her eyes are cold and dangerous. 

Steve opens his mouth to defend himself, but Drax cuts in. “And you,” he gestures harshly at clint, “you were willing to abandon your family and get yourself arrested, just so you could involve yourself in a matter that did not concern you anyway?”

“You think I wanted to be arrested? That was all Tony-” Clint begins, but Drax roars, and Clint rears back, eyes wide and hand reaching for the bow at his hip.

“TONY STARK DID NOT FORCE YOU TO BREAK YOUR LAWS! I WAS PUT IN JAIL BECAUSE I FOUGHT FOR MY FAMILY, NOT-”

“Drax, stay calm. These people are breakable,” Gamora warns, although she is staring at them all as if she wants nothing better than to let Drax get himself worked up over them. 

“You know, Tony has only been giving you his view on everything that happened,” Steve counters. He’s looking at Tony like… like he’s disappointed in him, and that’s enough to get Rocket yelling angrily.

“Oh, so you sayin’ you didn’t tear the team he invested his time, his love, his effort into, apart- all so you could save a guy that Tony had offered to rehabilitate in the first place anyway? Or what about the fact you didn’t tell him that your best bud murdered his parents? That a lie too?” He snarls, and on his shoulder, Groot’s arms are slowly growing, pricklier and heavier- he can feel the weight on his shoulders.

“I think everyone needs to calm down, here-” Sam begins, but Gamora silences him, knuckles cracking as she steps forward.

Sam, wisely, takes a step back.

 “You do not get to talk- not when you chose to put your trust in a man you met for three seconds, whilst he was breaking into Tony’s compound, over the actual Avenger and team-mate himself,” she hisses, hands thrown up into the air as she turns to face all of them now.

“You sicken me. I may fight and argue and be frustrated with my team- but at the end of the day, they are still my family. They are still the people I would trust without a second thought,” she shoots a glare at Sam, “who I would always tell the truth to, even if it hurts,” Steve looked at the floor, jaw set in a grim line, “and who I would never, ever ask to be on the same team as a woman who subdued them to their worst fears and tried to kill them. I would rather die.”

She spat on the floor, and then turned away. “I am going back to the ship. You may continue your discussions if you must, but I am finished. I will only kill one of them if this continues.”

“That would be a shame,” Drax says quietly, his voice low and threatening.

Tony, who spent the majority of the conversation absolutely silent, speaks up at that point. “Hey! Drax used sarcasm!”

No one laughs. He goes back to holding his head in his hand.

Peter just looks slightly sick. His hand is wrapped very, very tightly around Tony’s.


“You know that post of text that Tony showed us a few weeks ago? He called it a… a me-me? With the breadsticks and the asshole date?” Rocket pipes up after a few seconds of silence, gun still spinning ominously in his fingers. “I think it’s time for us to shove Tony in our spaceship and say we have to go, right now, immediately.”


Despite everything, Tony lets a huff of laughter escape at that. Peter- seeming to suddenly snap out of his horrified trance- nods his head approvingly, beginning to tug on Tony’s hand. “Yes. I agree. Wonderful though this diplomatic meeting of teams was, I’m afraid we have urgent business to attend to. We have to… show Tony… something awesome.”

“Yes. LOVE, AFFECTION AND VALIDATION!” Drax roars again, curling an arm around Tony’s shoulders and placing the most violent and angry kiss possible on top of his hair.

“Later, losers!” Rocket calls out, sticking his middle finger up behind him and then turning to punch Tony’s thigh gently before scarpering back to the ship.

Groot hops down from Rocket and then latches on to Tony’s forearm, clambering up his arm until he was resting on Tony’s shoulder instead. Tony glances over at him and grins happily. He’s always had a bit of a soft spot for Groot.

“hey,” he whispers, as the tiny tree alien quickly began to grow a few flowers, and then plucked them off his hand and tucked them into Tony’s hair. “I am Groot,” he whispers right back in reply.

Tony smiles, rolling his eyes. “Yeah yeah, I know. Don’t worry about them- I left them behind a long time ago.”


Steve hears that. He looks at tony for a long time, his eyes a little sad and regretful.


Tony just stares right back, and then raises his eyebrows and shrugs, adjusting the beginning of the flower-crown Groot was making for him.

“Call me the next time it gets too much for you guys to handle,” he calls out after them, as Peter and Drax both steer him hurriedly back toward the ship and away from his old team.

Groot giggles on his shoulder, and then places another flower behind his ear. “I am Groot!”


“I agree,” Tony says, just as Peter nods his own approval, gently bumping their shoulders together. “Let’s go and play Space-Tag.”

8
New Avengers (2013) #18 vs. Avengers (2013) #29
Jonathan Hickman • Valerio Schiti / Leinil Yu

Tony: “An idea gets stuck in my head – a bug crawls in my ear – and it infects my thinking. It doesn’t stop until it’s consumed my entire mind.”

Steve: “Because I have this idea that’s been running through my mind. It’s overwhelming – all-consuming – and I can’t shut it off.”

2

ANYWAY, STEVE ROGERS IS ACTUALLY STILL ALIVE & WELL AND A TACTICAL GENIUS, AND THE PIECE OF THE PUZZLE RE: CACW THAT I WAS MISSING IS THAT MARVEL WAS ACTUALLY 100% BANKING ON CEVANS’ ACTING TO CONVINCE ME THAT THESE ASSHOLES CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER (also: don’t befriend me unless you want 1.5 billion text messages re: my sudden discovery that steve might actually give a shit abt tony)

6

So then Tony gets his Captain America and Steve gets his Iron Man! Happyyyyyyy Endinggggggg :D

So I totally forgot to mention that that is a ribbon on Steve’s hand, yeah Steve plans to give himself to Tony as a present! :D

Totally inspired by the conversation between Tony and Moon Girl! (x) My headcanon convinced me that it would be a really great idea to remind us that Tony has the real Captain America when he grows up. Childhood dream comes true! :D Yeah, who am I to say no to fluff, right?

Have a wonderful day!

anonymous asked:

Lol "tony stark refuses to be held accountable" I guess u just missed all of iron man 1

lol tony stark made money by selling weapons to a government that killed innocent civilians but didn’t care until 3.5 americans happened to die and still makes money off those sales

lol tony stark only “stopped” making weapons at SI after his own life was endangered 

lol tony stark created ultron and was never held accountable for that 

lol tony stark SHOT sam wilson out of the sky after sam tried to help rhodey 

lol tony stark tried to kill a brainwashed POW 

lol tony stark likes to pretend he wants the accords to “keep them in check” but then blackmails a 15 year old kid into fighting against experienced superheroes 

lol tony stark was literally created by stan lee to see if he could make a Rich, White, Capitalistic Republican who makes weapons popular during the Vietnam War 

Innuendos + Bonus Chat

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Request:

A Steve x reader where Tony makes really bad innuendos and Steve and the reader are to innocent to know what they mean


Tony has created a chatroom.

Tony has invited Bruce, Y/N, Steve, Scott, T'Challa, Rhodey, Peter.

Tony: Dinner tonight, all of us? I can make reservations at Rhodey’s favorite restaurant.

Scott: The one that spins?!

Tony: Yes, Scott. The one that spins.

Scott: I love that one! The waiting list is booked,  it would take months before we can eat there!

Tony: Oh, honey. When you’re a billionaire, you don’t need to wait.

T'Challa: And if they make us wait, I will just buy the restaurant. #RicherThanStark

Tony: … Who uses hashtags in a chat?!

T'Challa: #ObviouslyNotYou

Peter: I would love to come but… I have to study for a test tomorrow.

Tony: Aw c'mon kid, we haven’t seen each other in weeks! T'Challa just got back from Wakanda, Scott is finally free, and Steve and Y/N just returned from their 4 week long mission.

Bruce: Yeah, we miss you all!

Tony: Just one night! You’re smart, Peter. You’ll do fine in your test.

Peter: I guess…

Rhodey: #BadDad

T'Challa: #TonySucksAtParenting

Keep reading

Uno and Scotch Part 1

My lovely, talented, and gorgeous beta @saved-by-the-notepad convinced me to post part 1 of the casino!AU that I’ve been working on for over a year now so…*throws it at you and then runs away*


Steve didn’t mean to become friends with Tony; it just sort of happened. It seems like one day he was a faceless dealer at Extrema, the next he was getting drunk with a billionaire genius. He knows what caviar tastes like now (he doesn’t like it) and he’s seen the Strip skyline at night from 60 stories up in a penthouse (that he does like). Most importantly, he knows Tony and Tony was the one that he got drunk with when the days were rough.

They met through Tony’s complete disregard for professional attire on the floor. Steve walked into one of the staff rooms, fresh off the floor, late one night after most of the dealers were either out working or had gone home. Tony was sitting at a table, looking at a deck of Skip-Bo despondently. It’s not like Steve could recognize Tony instantly; this scruffy-haired, goateed man dressed in dark washed jeans and a worn AC/DC shirt looked nothing like the polished, playboy Tony Stark the media portrayed.

Steve thought the man looked vaguely familiar and just assumed he was a new dealer who had recently moved. With that, Steve glanced again at the Vaguely Familiar Sad Man. Due to his promotion, he and Bucky had just moved to Las Vegas in the last few weeks; maybe he and Sad Man could become work buddies.

Years later, he would freely admit that the tantalizing curve of the man’s neck and sparkle in his eyes was the main motivation that prompted Steve to offer to play a game of Skip-Bo with Sad Man instead of his determination to believe that his sole motivation was to make a new friend.

Soon they had played 4 games and were well on their way through a 5th, with Steve quickly learning that this man’s beatific smile made Steve’s heart beat dangerously quickly. Sad Man had introduced himself by this point as “Tony”, quirking his lips for some reason at Steve’s casual response. Steve had reciprocated with his own name, throwing off his casino mandated branded tie and unbuttoning his white button down. He couldn’t help but notice the way Tony’s eyes fixated on his collarbone and the little quiet, breathy noise that betrayed Tony’s thoughts.

Flirting with people he had just met was not ordinarily something Steve did, especially after Afghanistan and Bucky, and certainly not with men. But with Tony, he found himself saying things that could only be described as playful just to watch Tony’s mouth curve upwards in response. It was worth it to watch Tony’s dark eyes twinkle with mischief as he started to casually throw out innuendos that made Steve’s neck and ears turn red.

Tony had fixed Steve with a look of intent, pausing in the game, when a tall, blonde, female force of nature came sweeping through the door to the staff room yelling, “Tony! This is exactly what we talked about!”

Tony paled and jumped to his feet, assuming a nonchalant stance. “Carol! What a surprise.”

The woman, Carol, glared and crossed her arms, her biceps stretching the striped material of her blazer in a very intimidating way. “Just because you’re mad at me doesn’t mean you get to shake me off in order to…” she gave Steve a calculating look. “flirt.”

Steve’s heart was pounding; he had completely given the wrong impression. He knew that he had to be careful but it was just so easy with Tony.

“Can’t a man just spend time playing games?” Tony tried, widening his eyes in mock innocence.

“Not when he was supposed to be at a conference explaining this and not down here in his employee’s break room!” Carol shook the new promotion flyer for the gaming expo Tony Stark was hosting next week at Extrema.

Steve whipped his head around, pointing an accusing finger at Tony. “You’re Tony Stark!” Tony had the audacity to look amused.

“The pleasure’s all yours.” He leaned across the table and grasped Steve’s finger, shaking it like a typical handshake as Steve continued to gape. Steve tried to wrap his head around the fact that the scruffy man in front of him was not only his boss, but the richest and most well-known casino owner in the world, not to mention a mathematical genius. After mentally running through the past few hours, Steve realized that he maybe should not have flirted so much with a technical genius and panic began to form in the pit of his stomach. Tony frowned at the look on Steve’s face and snapped his fingers in front of him.

“Steve? Steeeeeve?”

“Stop harassing your employees with, god what is that? Skip-Bo? Dammit, Tony, I thought you had better taste than that.” Carol gave several purposeful tugs on the back of Tony’s shirt until he began to walk.

“He volunteered.” Tony grumbled, walking out of the room with Carol following close behind.

Their good-natured bickering faded away as the door closed behind them and Steve was left sitting in the break room, still half in his work uniform and staring at a half-finished game of Skip-Bo, wondering what the hell just happened.


Keep reading

hollywoodreporter.com
Robert Downey Jr. to Star in 'The Voyage of Doctor Dolittle'
Universal has landed the rights to the project that Stephen Gaghan wrote and will direct.

Robert Downey Jr. will star in The Voyage of Doctor Dolittle, based on the character from the 1920’s series of children’s books by Hugh Lofting. Stephen Gaghan (Syriana, Gold) will direct the film based on a script he wrote, with an earlier draft by Tom Shepherd.

Doctor Dolittle first hit the bit screen in the 1967 musical Doctor Dolittle, directed by Richard Fleischer. It was written by Leslie Bricusse based on Hugh Lofting’s novels: The Story of Doctor Dolittle, The Voyages of Doctor Dolittle and Doctor Dolittle’s Circus. The story follows the eccentric Doctor John Dolittle, a former physician who lives with and treats animals, claiming that he can communicate with them.

The 1967 film, which was a musical, was not well-received at the time, but was nominated for an Oscar for best picture and won for best original song and visual effects. Another Dr. Dolittle film was released in 1998 and starred Eddie Murphy in the titular role. The Fox film was a success and resulted in four sequels, although several went direct-to-video.

In a competitive situation, Universal won the rights to the hot package after it hit the town and garnered multiple bids from studios last week.

Joe Roth and Jeff Kirschenbaum will produce for their Roth/Kirschenbaum Films alongside Susan Downey for Team Downey.

Gaghan won an Oscar for writing Steven Soderbergh’s Traffic. He also wrote and directed Syriana, and most recently wrote and director Gold, starring Matthew McConaughey. He repped by CAA and Hansen, Jacobson.

Tony Stark: Narcissist

Aka: A character study of Tony Stark. Aka. Why Tony Stark is not a textbook Narcissist. You need to have 5/9 of these symptoms to be diagnosed.

(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate (Proportionate) achievements)

Look at him bragging about all these things he doesn’t really do, oh wait, no. He does pay for everything right down to the Avengers housing, and groceries. And he does design all of their gear, including their outfits, which  does make them look cooler. (See here for details on that.)

(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

I don’t even know what picture to put here, there is nothing in canon to support this idea that Tony is preoccupied with perfection. He’s preoccupied with keeping the people around him safe. 

(3) believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

Except that Tony does not only hang out with Bruce, in fact he spends a lot of time with Pepper who is not a genius, and Happy a normal guy who works security. Rhodey’s smart, but not on the same level Tony is, and none of the aforementioned people are in Tony’s socioeconmic group. He doesn’t view himself as above these people.

(4) requires excessive admiration

Ah yes because he reacts horribly to judgement from other people, and never changes his mind or adapts when his methods or ideas are questioned. He obviously can’t handle criticism and requires excessive phrase my bad. 

(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

Ah yes Tony is the one who expects to be permitted to break international law because he’s a superhero. Sorry, my bad. (Sarcasm)

(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

Obviously Tony is the one who takes advantage of others. (Sarcasm)

(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

Tony’s response when confronted by a grieving parent was empathy, and guilt. He recognized her feelings, and sought to change the situation to prevent another similar situation in the future. 

(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

He’s not envious of his friends achievements. He’s so proud of Pepper.

(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

I am Iron Man. 

Yeah Tony can show Arrogant and haughty behaviors, when put on the defensive, or when in front of a camera. That’s his job.

I am a Psych Major and I am sick and tired of Tony being called Narcissistic.  

Have a nice day

College!AU Stony where Tony is a doctoral student and a associate professor in the science department and Steve is an art major with a minor in business. Steve takes Tony’s Intro to Physics class for his science credit and subsequently spends every class that semester with a hard on because holy shit that guy’s hot. 

Tony’s totally crushing on that one cute guy who sits in the middle of the room and always has a drop of paint somewhere on his arms. “Fuck did he really have to stretch like that shit shit what was I teaching about SCIENCE PROBABLY”

Peter: [after breaking up with Wade] I miss him.
Tony: Yeah. He was your first real boyfriend.
Peter: I keep expecting him to show up. He used to come by at night and I’d sneak out to see him.
Tony: Yeah, I know.
Peter: You knew?
Tony: His car’s thirty years old and doesn’t have a muffler. And he honked.