It is nice to see Sam looking out for Dean and suggesting to drive since he knows that Dean is nowhere even close to being even just in the ballpark of slightly alright. And it is pretty tough to see Dean this way, to see him with his walls so high up that you can barely see him anymore, because everything is just too much and everything hurts too much. So I get that Dean is more than reluctant to give up the driver’s seat, because that is the only thing he can control at the moment. And it is also something to focus on; paying attention to the road, driving a bit too fast, because *damn on the inside you could explode*. Yeah, I think for Dean driving, having something as normal as driving to do may at least keep him from going completely “off the rails” out of anger and grief. Of course he won’t forget about what happened and their predicament, but just sitting in the passenger seat, when there is nothing else to do but sit and wait to arrive, I guess you can get way more lost within your thoughts and your emotions, so the driver seat it is… Man, when Dean is alone and he is “coming down” somewhere down the line and will allow himself or probably rather will be overrun by all the emotions he is trying to keep at bay right now, it will be so painful. ;____;
Am i the only one really not seeing the ending scene as good?? Promising to kill the kid if he goes evil isn't good:P Dean is doing really, really bad right now. The posts about "daddy dean! aw, he couldn't resist jack for too long!" are just making my skin crawl a little. There were a few mentions of John tonight, in a ep where Dean is showing shades of him. Because as much as Dean wants to believe Sam's "we've been down before, we'll be ok" speech, he can't. Because it's different this time.
No, I’m with you. Dean there kinda terrifyingly reminded me of MoC Dean toward the end of s10, demanding to be killed when he eventually went bad and HOPING someone would kill him so he wouldn’t…
Sam sounded so much like Dean there, yeah. Or how Dean USUALLY sounds when he’s not in a pit of despair. How many times has Dean given that exact pep talk to Sam?
And while Dean’s speech to Jack did remind me of John’s exact words to Sam… wait… I already made a post about this… *searches through own blog* OKAY it was an addition to @k-vichan’s post:
It was hard not
to think of it as “he.” Hard not to think of it as a kid.
And Sam didn’t make it any easier,
calling it by name. “Jack said you told him you’d be the one to kill him.”
“Yeah,” Dean said. Took a swallow from his coffee cup and
grimaced—the pot had been left on too long; it managed to be burned and
tasteless at the same time.
“Why’d you tell him that?” Sam asked.
“Because it’s the truth,” Dean said. “I
figure, Prince of Lies’ spawn, why not go with honesty.” Sam was frowning at
him. Dean got up, took his coffee over to the liquor shelf and added a splash
of bourbon for flavor. “He”—it—“He’s a
big…whatever. He can handle it.”
When he turned back, Sam was still
frowning. “What, you think I was gonna change my mind about him, after he opened
up a gate to Hell?” Dean said. “I get that you’ve got hope. But what part of dangerous are you not seeing here?”
“Why does it have to be you?” Sam
“If Jack does turn out to be too
dangerous,” and Sam glanced at the door, as if checking for listeners. As if
they had any idea what a nephilim’s hearing range actually was. “If we have to
take him down—why would you be the one to do it? I’m the one advocating for him—if
it goes sideways, it’s my mistake to fix.”
“No,” Dean said.
“Why not? I did with the Men of
Letters, didn’t I?”
“That was different,” Dean said. “You
didn’t ever like those douchebags—you just thought they could be useful.”
“I think Jack could be useful,” Sam
said, and maybe didn’t even hear the guilt in his voice as he said it, that
proved the point.
Dean took another gulp of coffee—better,
though not by much. “Either way, it’s gonna be me.”
“Why?” Sam’s voice got an edge, but it
wasn’t real anger, just testing. “You think I can’t handle it? That I’m not
“No,” Dean said. “You could do it, if
you had to. But you wouldn’t enjoy it.”
Sam blanched, not ready for that. “You—you
“You really think I wouldn’t?”
“You’ve seen enough of him to know,”
Sam said. “However powerful—however dangerous Jack is, he’s just a kid. It’s
not his fault—“
“—that he’s a monster? Doesn’t mean he’s
not one,” Dean said. “And taking out monsters, that’s what I do—that’s what I’m
“You hunt things to save people—” Sam started,
then cut himself off.
Too late. Dean could’ve listed off all
the people they hadn’t saved, but no point; he could see that tally unscrolling
in Sam’s eyes, as soon as he said it.
But Sam wasn’t one to give up. The
darker things got, the harder he blew on whatever embers of hope he had left.
That was part of this, Dean knew. Sam not giving up on Mom. Not giving up on
the nephilim, either, even knowing what it was. “Even if you do have to kill
Jack,” Sam said, sure and certain, “it’d be because you have to. Not because
you want to.”
And yeah, it was cruel, to stamp on
those embers; but kindness only got you dead, in the end. “You really think I
don’t want to end the thing that got Mom killed? That got Cas killed?” Dean
thought of that anger, that pain. Thought of narrowing it down into a knife
blade, a bullet, and sending it home, letting it go.
The Mark of Cain wasn’t howling its
bloodlust on his arm anymore, but he remembered every kill he’d made with the
First Blade. Sometimes, late at night when even a bottle of whisky wasn’t
enough to chase down sleep, he’d let himself remember them. Let himself
remember the release, the ecstasy, the first time he’d climbed down from
He let himself remember now, and let
himself smile, and Sam flinched. Sam who loved the adrenaline of a hunt, more
than he’d ever openly admit; Sam who knew what it was to want vengeance, to
want blood—but not like this; Sam never wanted this. Dean went for that opening
like this was a knife fight, “You think, when we do find the weapon that can
kill this thing, that I’m gonna let you have it? I’d fight you for it, Sam, if
I had to. This is my kill.”
“Because you don’t want me to have to
do it,” Sam said quietly. Not parrying, not ducking. “Because you know how much
it’ll hurt, and you don’t want me to be hurt more than I already will be. Than
I already am.”
“Sure.” Dean dropped the smile. Drank
the rest of his coffee and said, “If that’s what you want to tell yourself,
“If you really want to kill him, then
why won’t you use his name?” Sam said. “You’re trying to keep your distance,
and I get it, Dean. And I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“Because it’s going to hurt you, too. Even
if you want to kill a monster, you’ve seen too much of him already. You’ve seen
the human in him, too, and you want to save him. And if the only way to do that turns out to be
by killing him…” Like me, he didn’t
say, but that was what Sam thought the problem was, thinking this nephilim was
like he’d been once, an innocent human poisoned by unholy power. “Maybe you’ll
do it, if you have to, so I won’t. Or maybe you won’t be able to, and I’ll have
to. But if it comes to that, we’ll figure it out, together.”
Dean shrugged, turned to leave, but
Sam got up fast enough to get in his way, blocking the kitchen doorway, looking
Dean square in the eyes. “If I’m wrong, Dean, then say his name.”
“Jack,” Dean said. “His name’s Jack.”
But Dean let his eyes drop from Sam’s as
he said it. Like he couldn’t face his brother, because in the end Dean was a
coward after all; in the end he couldn’t let Sam see the truth.
That this was Sam’s real problem: that
Sam was way too used to loving monsters.
Trick or Trick - Dean x Teenage Daughter Reader feat Sam and Trickster
Written For: Halloween challenge
Movie: House on Haunted Hill (requested on my old blog queencflair)
Written For: Halloween Stories (requested by my old blog queencflair)
Prompt 2. Person A “What are you wearing?“ Person B “Combat boots, and a parka you jerk, who is this? This isn’t funny” Person A “Yes it is”. (When a stranger calls)
Monster: Crocotta - mythical dog or wolf from India and Ethiopia.
Warnings: language, haunted house, death, scare prank, evil spirit activity, violence and minor bleeding
"Daddy please, I promise I’ll be safe it’s a school dance” Y/n said, “Y/n you’re 14 years old” Dean said. “Yeah, well mom said I could go” Y/n said running back to her room slamming the door. "A girl, a girl will be easier, my ass” Dean said. “Wow, what the heck happened? I was gone for five minutes” Sam said. Dean picked up his phone and called his wife. “Hey baby” his wife said, “why did you tell our daughter she could go on a date” Dean shouted.
“Alright Winchester, has talking to me like that ever gotten you anything good” she said, “no” he said. “So calm down, take a breath. She’s not going on a date, she’s going to a Halloween dance at her school. Y/n will be fine, it’s you I’m worried about” she said. “She’s too young Y/n” Dean said, “Dean, she wants to be a normal kid, that’s what we want for her. Oh shit he’s here, I gotta go” she said. Dean took a drink straight from the bottle, “fuck, Dean, I went to check on Y/n, she’s gone” Sam said.
Y/n had snuck out of the bunker and walked to town and on the way to town her phone rang. “Daddy, I’m sorry you gave me no choice” she said, “I’m not Dean” the voice said, “who are you” she replied. “What are you wearing” he said, “combat boots and a parka you jerk. Who is this? This isn’t funny” Y/n yelled. “Yes it is” he said “Y/n, sweet as candy” he sang, the words came from directly behind her. She took off running, her phone in her hand she clicked on her GPS so her dad could find her. She kept running until she got to an old abandoned house and she ran inside closing and licking the door.
“Dean her GPS is back on” Sam said, Dean threw Sam the keys, “sweetheart she turned her GPS on I’ll text you the coordinates” Dean said. “Okay, you find out girl, Dean” she said, “you know I will baby” Dean said. While her dad and uncle Sam followed her GPS, Y/n was confused as to why the abandoned house had power. Y/n wandered around the house and she thought it looked like it was used as a hospital or something. “Um hello, is anyone here, I’m lost and there’s a homicidal maniac outside” Y/n shouted. Hearing no response from anyone she walked deeper into the house.
“Over there, that’s where the GPS is telling us to go” Dean said, as soon as Sam stopped the car, Dean jumped out. He ran to the woods, Sam swore there wasn’t a woods there before, but he ran after Dean anyway. His nieces life was at stake Sam would’ve followed Dean into the mouth of Hell to save Y/n. Dean found the phone and her bag on the ground and tears formed in his eyes as he feared the worst. “Dean” Sam said putting his hand on Dean’s shoulder, “no Sam, she can’t be” Dean cried. “No Dean look, footprints. Y/n ran that way” Sam said, “look Sammy, something’s after her, Sammy something’s after my little girl” Dean said.
“Dean, don’t think like her dad right now, if this were a hunt what would we do” Sam said, Dean just ran his hand over the back of his head looking at his shoes. “DEAN, Y/n needs you to think like a hunter right now, what do you do” Sam said. “Follow the tracks and kill that fucker before it gets to Y/n” Dean said. Dean and Sam ran along the tracks taking them down the path to the abandoned house.
Y/n found a kitchen and tried the faucet and it worked, “yes it works” she said, she cupped her hands together. While she was drinking water she heard screaming, she couldn’t tell if it was male or female. “Great, where the heck am I” she said to herself and she turned around seeing a ghost of a man. Y/n screamed and fell on her butt, the ghost just growled at her. Y/n was a child of two hunters and knew what to do with a ghost, she jumped up grabbing the salt from the counter. She threw it in his face and he disappeared, she took off her dress shoes, she was dressed up for the dance.
The ghost now pissed off came back with a few friends, Y/n grabbed the other salt shaker. She ran down the stairs and kept running, she ended up in a basement and she crawled inside a vent and closed the lid. “Please hurry daddy” she whispered, she straightened her dress to cover her knees and put her hands on her knees and her head on her hands.
Dean and Sam had followed her footprints and found the house, just as a dog-like creature lunged at them. “Sam get in” Dean said pushing his brother inside the house and closing and locking the door behind him. Sam got up off the floor and looked around, “looks so different on the inside” Sam said. Dean turned around and it looked almost lab like, “this is so strange, let’s find my daughter and get outta here” Dean said. “Yeah, preferably before that thing gets in here” Sam said, “what was that thing” Dean said.
“I have no idea” Sam said as they got in the kitchen and Sam saw the salt strewn about on the floor. “Dean look at the floor, salt” Sam said, “Y/n would know to use on salt on ghosts and demons” Dean said, “then let’s follow the salt” Sam said. They went down the hall to a door to the basement and they heard growling and screaming. Dean pulled the door open and ran down the stairs, followed by Sam. They saw several spirits a few looking like doctors and nurses and a few in a straight jacket. “We’re gonna need more salt” Sam said, “daddy, uncle Sam are you there” Y/n screamed.
“We’re here baby girl we’re gonna get you outta there” Dean said, “Y/n, you have any salt” Sam said. “No, but there are iron pipes leaning on the wall by the water heater thingy” Y/n said. Sam grabbed two throwing one to Dean and the hit the ghosts making them disappeare. Dean lifted the vent off and Y/n crawled out, stood up and fell into her father’s arms. “Happy reunion later, leave now” Sam said, Sam took off upstairs followed by Y/n, Dean kept his daughter between him and Sam. They got to the top of the stairs and to the door, Sam went to open it but that dog monster was in the way.
“Dean, that dog things back, what the fuck are you” Sam said, “you owe a buck in the swear jar uncle Sam” Y/n said. “Y/n you’re better with lore and identifying creatures then anyone I’ve known, look out the window baby” Dean said. Y/n looked out the window, “oh that’s badass, I didn’t even know they were alive, uncle Sam its a Crocotta” she said. “It’s that just a giant dog” Dean said. “It’s from Ethiopia and India, they’re big and mean and have really sharp teeth” Sam said. “Wait, they can’t be, the Gods locked them all away because they were killing humans and nobody could control them” she said.
“How do we kill it” Dean said, “I don’t know dad, Sam” she said, “whoa wait, this house is old and abandoned on the outside and on the inside it’s hospital like. The spirits were odd for a house or hospital” Sam said. “They looked like mental patients” Dean said, “and doctors and nurses” Y/n said. The Crocotta started growling and foaming at the mouth, “what is it doing” Sam said.
“You get the fuck away from my family you bitch” mom said, she fired the rocket launcher at it. Dean and Sam ducked down as the explosion took the door with it, Y/n looked down and saw her mom. “Mom” Y/n shouted and ran out the door into the arms of her mother. Dean and Sam walked out of the house, “I’m glad to see you sweetheart” Dean said. “Trickster get the fuck out here” Y/n shouted, a second later the trickster appeared. “Happy Halloween Winchester’s” he yelled, Y/n’s mom walked up and kicked him in the balls. Y/n followed behind her punching him in the face, “they don’t even need us, Sammy” Dean said. “What’s the matter, you can’t take a scary joke” the trickster yelled.
Watching the TNT loop this morning and running from 8.22-9.02, it’s been really agonizing thinking back to 13.02 last night. I’ve been seeing a TON of MoC Dean and Demon Dean reminders in s13 regarding how Dean is viewing Jack right now, but there is a very clear moment in 9.02 that Dean also might be recalling in his refusal to have any sort of trust or faith in Jack: Ezekiel.
Ezekiel: You are troubled still. Dean: Yeah, it’s just, this is all me. I was the one who talked Sam out of boarding up Hell. So every demon deal, every kill they make, you’re looking at the person who let it happen. Ezekiel: You were protecting your brother. I am in Sam’s head. Everything he knows, I know. And I know that what you did you did out of love. Dean: Yeah, well, Zeke — I’m going to call you Zeke — I’m not with the whole love and love…. Ezekiel: That’s why I said yes. Dean: If that goes sideways that’s on me too. Ezekiel: That’s not going to happen. Dean: This is nuts. You’re Sam but you’re not Sam. He’s the one I’m used to talking to about all this stuff. I’m trusting you Zeke. I just gotta hope that you’re one of the good guys. Ezekiel: I am. But I suppose that is what a bad guy would say. Dean Winchester, you are doing the right thing.
“Ezekiel” also relied on a lot of mirrors to Cas in order to gain Dean’s trust (and even the direct word from Cas himself vouching for Ezekiel as a good soldier). And this was another… “I supposed that is what a bad guy would say,” was already a direct callback to Cas in Purgatory, quoting a statistic on how most psychotics believe they’re perfectly sane, qualifying his statement that he wasn’t “crazy” anymore.
“Ezekiel” insisted that he was a “good guy,” and insisted that Dean’s faith and trust in him wouldn’t “go sideways” on him.
Spoiler alert: it went about as sideways as it’s possible to go… and that broken trust led directly to the events that drove Dean to take on the Mark of Cain in the first place.
So yeah, Dean doesn’t just trust anymore. He doesn’t just juggle fire and hope everything will be okay.
“You’re Sam but you’re not Sam.”
Jack might be human but he’s also decidedly not human. And Dean’s not willing to place his faith on Jack’s human side winning out. Because last time he did that… well… (pls see s9-s10 for the entire exposition on how shit that all turned out)
Warnings: Smut, oral (male and female receiving), insecure reader, language
A/N: Thank you so much for reading. This is the first part of what I hope is a lengthy and smutty series. Any feedback is always appreciated. This is also for @emilywritesaboutdean and @wheresthekillswitch ‘s Do It Like TFW Challenge (The gif is near the bottom)
A thank you to my beta @ayeronda for betaing at an ungodly hour and being so wonderful.
It’s been a long ass day and an even longer hunt. You were more than happy to be sitting on Dean’s bed in the boys’ motel room, sipping on your second, or maybe it is the third beer. And that was just here, it wasn’t counting the four or five shots you had had down at the bar. So now you were here and Sam was riding Dean hard about his strikeout at the bar.
“Dude, you were never going home with her.”
“She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.”
You can’t help but chuckle, “What? Two whole minutes?”
YAY WE’RE BACK, EVERYONE!!! Did you miss me?? I missed you.
If you would like to be added to or taken off of the master tag list for the season 13 post-episode codas, please send me a message ASAP. Thanks, guys!
Anyway, this scene definitely should have been in the ep.
“Can he teleport?”
“The kid!” Dean snaps. “Does he have wings?”
Sam stutters out that he doesn’t know, and, right. How would he? Dean wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and it comes away bloody - his lip stings where he’s touched it.
He closes his eyes and takes a slow breath in through his nose. He’s trying his absolute hardest to keep it together, but his hands shake regardless.
“We can check along the main roads,” Sam placates, mistaking his silence for frustration. “We’ll be faster in the car than he is on foot, assuming he doesn’t fly, and he can’t have gotten far.”
Dean opens his eyes, but he doesn’t reply. He keeps his back to his brother.
“It’s going to be ok, Dean,” Sam says, only a few feet behind him now, and damn it if that just doesn’t break Dean’s heart all over again.
Soon enough he hears the dirt start to crunch under Sam’s shoes. He has to swerve around Dean to get to the passenger side, his usual post in times of crisis, but Dean lets out a sigh just as he gets his hand on the door.
Sam turns back to look at him, eyebrows raised expectantly.
Dean swallows. “I need you to help me with something first.”
Hey Sammy. I've got to talk to you about something
So it's like this alright... You know how I love pie the best?
Yes I know how you love pie the best
Yeah and I always did since I can remember. And if anybody ever even asked me to eat cake-
You'd throw a bitch fit
I'd politely decline. Shut up Sammy I'm talking. Anyway all my life it was pie and not cake.
But imagine that one day this cake came into my life... this really amazing cake. Like it looks like the most delicious thing to sit on a plate - plucked from God's own dessert tray, if you will.
And I'm like "DAMN! I need to eat this cake right now." And it's not like I don't still love pie, right, like pie is still awesome. But this cake looks so good that I might never eat pie again
I can see myself making sweet love to this cake for the rest of my life
If you ask Dean, especially in public or around other hunters, he’ll tell you his favorite place in the world is behind the wheel of his Baby. Riding off to another hunt, gun tucked into his waistband, Sam by his side, and Cas in the back, ready to fight evil.
And he does love it. It’s where he feels comfortable, like he’s making the biggest difference he can possibly make in a world that often seems beyond help. The reality, however, is something that Dean will admit to himself only occasionally. His favorite place in the world is actually right here, where he currently is.
The room is a little warm, and he’s defintely a little sweaty after one hell of a workout. Dean’s body is heavy on his memory foam, and he’s maybe minutes from drifting off, but Dean wants more than anything to savor this moment a little longer. Cas is just as warm as he is, but it doesn’t bother Dean in the least that their naked skin is sticking together. He’s tucked into Cas’s arms, and Cas’s wonderful long fingers are tracing nonsensical patterns along the ridges of Dean’s spine.
“Sleepy?” Cas asks softly.
“Mmm, yeah,” Dean mumbles. With each inhale and exhale, he’s finding it harder and harder to keep his eyes open.
“Go to sleep,” Cas tells him, pressing his lips to Dean’s forehead. “I’ll watch over you.”
Cas’s words bring him comfort like nothing else can, and Dean quits fighting, dropping off into peaceful sleep.
Castiel remembers Dean telling him how creepy it is when he watched him sleep. He’s not sure this still applies now that they frequently share a bed but he hasn’t worked up the courage to ask yet. If the answer is yes then at least this way he can claim ignorance if Dean ever catches him.
Because he can’t help it. Angels don’t need sleep and while Castiel does keep himself busy most of the time while Dean sleeps, he can’t stop himself from indulging every now and then.
Like now. They are at a motel, a case recently wrapped up but too late in the evening for Dean to want to move on yet. Moonlight shines through the lace curtains on the windows, creating patterns of glowing light on Dean’s skin, interspersed with marks left by Castiel just hours earlier.
Castiel reaches out, tracing along those marks with his fingertips, too soft for Dean to stir at his touch. The light makes him appear ethereal, but the warmth of his skin is so painfully human. Dean would rage at him for saying as much out loud but Castiel is always aware of just how fragile Dean is compared to him, how little it takes to hurt him.
Castiel should know. He shudders, forcibly pushing that thought from his mind. He focuses on Dean again instead, the rhythmic rising and falling of his chest, the calmness in his expression.
Dean is rarely this calm, even in sleep, but sharing a bed with another person sometimes helps. Dean would say it was the sex that calmed him, which is right in a way, but it’s really the intimacy. It makes him feel safe.
He looks… not younger this way, but less burdened. The lines of his face are softened, mouth slack and slightly open. Something in Castiel’s chest tightens at the sight of it. He likes that Dean lets himself relax so completely in his presence. He certainly hasn’t earned this kind of trust but he gets it anyway and he’s grateful for it.
Suddenly, Dean stirs. Castiel’s fingers halt their journey across Dean’s skin as he cracks one eye open, eyeing Castiel suspiciously.
“Were you just watching me sleep?” he mumbles, voice thick.
“…No,” Castiel lies blatantly.
The corner of Dean’s mouth quirks. “No?”
“Okay.” Dean’s eye closes again. “Well, have at it.”
Castiel swallows. “You don’t think it’s creepy?”
“Oh, yeah,” Dean says. “But it’s fine. I don’t mind. Just don’t wake me up.”
Which is all but a ringing endorsement coming from Dean Winchester. Castiel smiles to himself, suffused with a kind of warmth only Dean can bring him.
“I won’t,” he promises.
Dean hmms in response. It’s only a few moments before he drops off into sleep again, breath deepening and evening out. Unable to resist, Castiel leans in and presses a kiss against his temple.
Summary: Just like his freckles and bowlegs, Dean’s slight pudge has always been a part of himself that he’s never felt completely comfortable with. After a few miserable days of unsuccessful dieting and choking down rabbit food, Cas reminds him exactly how beautiful he is.
“You’re getting kinda chubby!”
Charlie makes this remark lightly, offhandedly, as she passes by Dean on the way to breakfast that morning: Dean had been stretching his arms overhead in a yawn so that his cotton shirt rode up over his stomach, which Charlie takes the opportunity to poke.
Startled, he looks down just in time to see the disconcerting way in which her fingertip sort of smushes into the soft, freckly flesh.
Dean halts in his tracks, blinking comprehensively. “Wait, what?” is all he can think to say.
Charlie, who’d been nonchalantly continuing on her way down the hall, turns to look at him. “Well, you don’t have to sound so offended about it,” she laughs. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way or anything!”
Dean folds his arms defensively. “Then what did you mean, Charles?”
“First of all, I answer only to Charlie, Ms. Bradbury, or the Illustrious Queen of Moondoor. Next, I just meant you put on a couple pounds. Maybe getting a bit of a tummy. It’s no big deal.”
Dean looks comprehensively down at his stomach. Now that he thinks about it, he has been eating more these days – he’s been going through sort of a “nesting period” during his relationship with Cas: lots of baking pies, burgers, etc. He didn’t think it was noticeable.
Taking note of the gravity of his expression, Charlie laughs, punching him lightly in the shoulder. “You don’t have to look so glum about it! It’s cute.”
Dean glowers at her, tugging self consciously at his t-shirt. “M’not cute,” he mutters grouchily. “I’m a warrior.”
Charlie laughs again. “Alright, warrior. Hurry up and take care of your morning breath – Kevin’s making waffles again!”
With that, Charlie skips off down the hall, leaving Dean to steep in his juices. He lets Charlie laugh it off, of course – he knows she didn’t mean any harm – but the fact is, Dean’s always known he’s had a little bit of pudge around his midsection, and he’s always been the slightest bit insecure about it. Just like his freckles and bowlegs, it’s one of the things about himself that he’s never particularly liked.
His one solace was convincing himself that these features weren’t as noticeable to everyone else as they are to him. Now, that seems to have changed.
Dean pulls up the rim of his shirt, noting sourly the way in which his pudge protrudes slightly over the waistband of his pajama pants.
So… I’m rewatching 13x01 and I just have to say. Wow.
Dabb has no chill.
I know I’ve said this a lot but come on, I mean COME ON Dabb. I watch this episode and see all the other excellent meta and plot points of course, but over the top of it is just this blanket of Destiel that affects pretty much every other meta reading in some way or another but especially around Dean and especially when you put it back into chronological order. You can see how the grief over Cas specifically leads his story forwards in this episode and how this will affect him moving forwards and…I’m just stupidly in love with this episode.
There is an undercurrent of Dean’s feelings for Cas present throughout this whole episode, strongly romantic in the Dean scenes and present as a plot mirror even in scenes that Dean is not in. This is the episode that sets up the season. This is the episode that sets up Dean’s arc for the season and in the future, it takes what has been built in the last 12 years subtextually, textualises it and is the foundation for the season to move forwards.
I just… I want to wrap myself in a blanket but I feel like I have to write about the Destiel blanket over this whole episode that tore my heart out and left me needing my own blanket to curl up in a ball on the sofa so, here goes :)
We have an opening sequence that parallels Sam/Eileen again to Dean/Cas and the music, dammit the MUSIC. Literally in the first few seconds of the season we have “Nothing Else Matters”, a Metallica ballad, referring back to Dean in season 1 and linking it to later aspects of Dean’s character growth. Metallica is a part of his performance facade from 1x04, the “scared of flying so humms Metallica” episode, they then show Dean literally blowing down the metaphorical walls of the bunker whilst “never opened myself this way” plays over the top. I MEAN COME ON!
So, performing!Dean’s facade coming down and parallels to the canon romantic couple (and Chuck dammit Dabb you are bringing Eileen back or so help me).
We end the sequence with this
Just to remind us, you know, that this is Dean’s key emotional drive for the episode and season.
We then start with Jack/Sam and this again, of course
Dean’s face goes from grief to angry determination. He runs in and immediately tries to shoot Jack in the face. This is the set up of his emotional arc over 01-06. He is angry and enraged because of his grief. This is not a good hark back to good old Dean hunting and being badass, this is utterly devastating.
At this point he’s enraged, sure, he can barely say what happened, but he does. Because he still has a smidgen of hope that there could be a way back. He doesn’t want to face the fact that he might be gone for good yet so he’s just angry that he’s dead in the first place and wants revenge on Jack who did this.
So then we have the search for Jack. But after the prayer scene which chronologically happens here, we see the shift from rage to despair after his prayer goes unanswered.