yeah you were

Bad Again

I started writing this at school because I was bored and here we are. Y/N is somewhat representative of me because I’ve been feeling exactly the same as she has. This is my first fic so let me know what you think!!x

TW: depression.

You were getting bad again, Harry could tell. He could always tell. You had been doing so well for so long and he was so proud of you. But you were slipping away again, you were becoming more distant. You didn’t mean to, you didn’t want to, but that’s just how it was with you.

When you and Harry met, you were at a low point. It took you a while to open up and give yourself to him completely, there were still some things you hadn’t told him, even after almost two years together. Over time, Harry finally got the old you back - that happy, enthusiastic you. Harry loved you before that, but seeing how happy you could be made him want to help you stay that way. And you did… for a while. A lot of shit came with dating Harry, you knew that, you experienced that. That’s when you got bad again, but that was ages ago. You had learnt to deal with that pretty well.

Harry didn’t know what made you so distant this time. Hell, you didn’t even know. You didn’t realise you were becoming more and more withdrawn. One day, after months of being so happy and with only a few down days, you just couldn’t deal with anything anymore.

You found yourself struggling to get out of bed, and you were more tired than usual. Any chance to sleep, you would take. You had always loved your sleep, so you didn’t think anything of it. Then, you found yourself not wanted to leave the house - the thought of talking to people and being outside gave you severe anxiety. You made excuses to stay home and not go out with friends, and when you were out, all you wanted to do was go home. You couldn’t even leave your bed now. You didn’t want to and you weren’t going to force yourself anymore - you couldn’t. You barely even ate anymore, you used to love food. Now, the thought it made you sick even if you were starving and you were losing weight. You couldn’t tell, you thought that because you were naturally slim it would be hard to lose weight and it wouldn’t be as noticeable. It was noticeable, though. Very.

“Come on, my love. You know that mum’s gonna be here soon.” Harry sighed, sitting on the bed as you buried your face in the pillow.

“Can’t you just tell her I’m sick? H, I’m really tired and I would love to just go back to sleep right now.” You didn’t notice, but your voice was more vulnerable than usual, quieter, weaker.

“No, you’ve been in bed for ages and you need to eat something. Get up and get ready, I’ll make you breakfast… well, lunch.” Harry said, he placed his hand on the side of your face as if he was brushing away imaginary tears and kissed your forehead.

While Harry was making breakfast, he found himself wondering what was on your mind. He didn’t know if you were just having a rough couple of days and to give you space or if you were getting really bad again. He never judged you when things got really bad, he never got angry with you. But he hated seeing you so down. He hated not knowing what to do or how to help you. Harry always caught on when you were getting bad again, he could feel when things weren’t right. He knew that it took all of your willpower to just get out of bed and you had to force yourself to eat at times. However, he decided to wait until after his mum left you ask you what was going on. He didn’t want to push you.


“So, before she comes down. What are you getting Y/N for your anniversary.” Anne asked Harry as they stood in the kitchen with a cuppa.

“Not sure yet, mum. I wanna do something really special, though. Two years isn’t really that long but god, mum, I really want to make her happy this year. Last year we didn’t so much.”

“She’d be happy with anything, H, you know that.” Anne reassured him. “After what she told me when I last saw her I th-”

“What did she tell you? She didn’t tell me she spoke to you about anything.” Harry cut his mum off, eager to know what his girlfriend told her.

“I don’t think she’d want me to tell you.”

“Mum, you know that I’ll just ask her myself so, please, just tell me. I’m worried about her if I’m honest. I think she’s getting bad again.”

“I’m worried too, H. I can see it in her eyes - she’s here but she’s not. She told me that she was feeling a bit out of it recently.” Anne looked at her son with worried eyes, and as Harry was just about to say something, you walked into the kitchen. You didn’t even give them time to collect their thoughts.

“Hey, Anne. How are you?” You beamed, you were actually really excited to see Anne. Ever since you first met her, she’d been nothing but lovely to you. You’d gotten really close with Anne over the past two years, she was like your second mother.

“Still not used to being alone in the house, if I’m honest. But I’m alright. And you?”

“I guess I’m alright. And you know that if you ever get lonely, Harry and I can come and stay. I can even come while Harry’s away so the both of us don’t lose our minds. And you can stay here.” You smiled at her, you didn’t really pay much attention to Harry because you were focusing on what Anne was saying but when you did look at him, he seemed to be in deep thought. “H, are you alright?”

“Are you?” He asked, you knew the question had a much deeper meaning but with his mum here, you really weren’t up for having that conversation right now.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Were you?


Anne had left for the day and it was around 8:30 in the evening. Having spent so much time talking to Anne and catching up, yourself and Harry didn’t really speak much. You knew exactly what Harry was thinking and you knew why. You knew that you’d been spending more time in the house and you’d been sleeping more than usual. You were aware of the fact that you’d only eating a couple slices of toast and half your dinner yesterday, actually, for the whole week. And you were well aware of the fact that you could snap at Harry or yourself or anyone and anything at any given moment. You could feel yourself getting bad again.

You hadn’t eaten breakfast and you were cranky. Even though Harry had made you something earlier, you just didn’t really feel hungry, all you had was a cup of tea and bit of fruit when Anne was here. Now… now you were hungry. You found yourself looking in the cupboards and the fridge for something to eat. You found nothing. There was more than enough food there but everything made you feel sick. It frustrated you so much.

“For fuck’s sake.” You muttered angrily to yourself as you slammed the fridge shut.

“Everything alright, love?” Harry called from the living room.

“There’s no fucking food in this house!” You snapped. You didn’t mean to, but you did.

“Yes, there is.” He told you calmly, but wearily at the same time. “There’s a lot of food, actually.”

“Jesus, H. Not all of us want to live off of kale and fucking almond milk!” You didn’t know why you were so angry all of a sudden. Harry didn’t know either, he knew something was up. But that didn’t mean the way you yelled at him didn’t hurt his feelings. “Look, I’m gonna just shower then head to bed.” You said in a much calmer voice.

“Y/N, are you okay, my love?” He asked you again, this time with a much gentler voice. The voice he uses to calm you down.

“No, I’m not okay! I haven’t been okay since I was twelve, maybe thirteen. But unfortunately, I’m still here.” You don’t know why you were so angry, all Harry did was care for you. It didn’t feel like it though, you always felt like no one ever cared. And when you would get like this, nothing would change the fact that you thought that. 

“Love, please just talk to me.” Harry was practically begging you to say something other than ‘I’m fine’, and that’s what happened.

“I’m getting bad again and I don’t know what to do or where to go or who to tell because no one really cares, do they?” You were yelling at this point. You didn’t want to yell, but you couldn’t stop yourself. You hated yourself because you were ruining his night after a great day with his mum and you couldn’t stop.

“I care!” Harry raised his voice, he’s never done that before - not when you’re like this. No, he wasn’t supposed to be angry with you, he wasn’t supposed to hate you. “I fucking care, and seeing you like this has been killing me. It’s been killing me for days because I know! I know that you’re getting bad again and I’m so fucking angry because I don’t know how to help you this time.”

“I don’t need your help! I’ve gotten through this on my own before, I can sure as hell do it again.” Your own voice was beginning to irritate you. You wanted to shut the fuck up, but it was almost like your demons were forcing the words out of your mouth. 

You couldn’t be in the same room as him anymore, you didn’t want to say anything else that you didn’t mean. You’d ruined his night already, what was the point in making it worse. When you stormed up the stairs, Harry was ready to follow you. Then he remember that you needed space in times like his. Harry felt like shit for yelling, he was just so frustrated because this time, he didn’t know what caused it.  Usually, something drastic or traumatic would happen and you’d distance yourself then let the vicious cycle begin. But nothing happened this time.

Harry didn’t only need to check on you, he needed to apologise. He didn’t want to make you feel even worse. Harry was walking up the stairs when he heard you. He heard your sobs. He was outside the bedroom door but it was locked. Harry stayed out there for a while just listening to you, he’s only ever heard you cry like that a handful of times. It broke is heart, completely shattered it.

You knew he was there, but you didn’t want to bother him anymore. You didn’t even know why you were crying. Why were you so sad? Why did it feel like the walls were closing in on you? Why did you feel like nothing was going right in your life? You never knew the answers. You startled yourself with a sob. A loud, ugly, painful sob. You hadn’t felt this way in so long, you forgot how shitty it was. This time, it was harder - it was more gradual.

Maybe it was all subconscious, a part of your brain was telling you not to be happy. That every time things felt good, it was too good to be true. Sooner or later, you’d fall back into the black hole - and this time, you’d fallen so fucking far. 

“Baby, can you open the door?” He sounded so desperate. You said nothing but walked towards the door and your hand reached for the doorknob. “Love, please. I know you’re crying and I just… please open the door.” Again, he was met with silence. “Y/N, I’m really sorry for yelling at you. You know I didn’t mean it.”

You twisted the doorknob slowly and pulled the door open. Harry immediately pulled into his chest and you sobbed into him until you were all out of tears. He kept kissing your head and telling you that you were alright, he was telling you to let it all out. You don’t know how long you were standing there, it must’ve been ages. You pulled back to look at Harry and he looked so heartbroken and disappointed in himself.

“I ruined your shirt.” I told him, chuckling pathetically to yourself as you wiped your tears.

“My shirt will be fine. But I’m not too sure that you will…” Harry said, his voice was so gentle and caring. “How about you put on one of my shirts and then we can have a cuddle?”


You and Harry had been wrapped in each other arms for a good twenty minutes before either of you decided to speak. He was running his fingers through your hair as you drew random patterns on his bare chest. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, but it did get deafening.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Harry asked. It’s a question you’d been asked several times in the last twenty-three years but when Harry asksd, everything spilled out even if you didn’t want it to.

“I don’t even know where it came from this time, H.” You said, barely above a whisper. “I’m not sure why this is happening. Everything was perfect and now I just want to… I want to -”

“Want to what, my love?”

“Leave.” You choked out. “I’m already half gone. My body’s here but my mind isn’t, I don’t know how to bring myself back. I don’t know if I want to come back at all. I hate this world.”

“You’ve been really distant lately - not like before. This time, you don’t even look at me, you don’t try to talk.” Harry wasn’t angry, he wasn’t even hurt because he knew you couldn’t control what was going on. He was, however, more worried than he’d ever been.

“I don’t mean to be like this,” you let out a shaky breath as you feel the tears coming back. “Don’t want to be like this…” You were crying again, he felt your warm tears on his chest. “I’m really sorry, H. I’m sorry for yelling.”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare apologise. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, my love. I know none of this is your fault, and I’m sorry for getting mad. But we’ll get through this. You’ll get through this, you always do.” Harry told you quietly and kissed your forehead, then he gave your body a small squeeze, it was his way of saying ’you’ve got this’.

“I know,” you whispered. “I’m just tired of taking steps backwards, you know? I’m twenty-three, H, I just wanna feel content. No fake happy, no lying. Why can’t I have that?”

“I promise you, one day, whenever that may be, that you will be the happiest woman in the world. I’ll make sure of that.” When you didn’t reply for a few moments, Harry realised that you had fallen asleep. He smiled to himself, knowing that you didn’t cry yourself to sleep this time. He’s happy that you fell asleep peacefully.

“I promise, we’ll be alright.” 


What do you think? I hope you enjoyed, let me know if you want a part two or request anything else you want.

hey. all concerts are good concerts but sign me the FUCK up for small venue concerts over big arena concerts any day

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@thisshouldbegayer and I just began a mermaid AU, and I don’t know where it’s going, but this is how it started.

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A look back on just some of the many activities Yixing has participated in during his 25th year. May his 26th be filled with even more success, happiness, and love. Happy 26th birthday to our dearest Zhang Yixing! 🐑 👑🇨🇳 💜

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‘95 line fanboying over NCT U vocal line

Ice cream

Draco grunted as he fumbled with the collar of his dress shirt. His face was contorted in distaste as he felt little beads of sweat running down his neck. Ugh, disgusting! Potter had already pointed out that it was far too hot outside to be wearing a dress shirt, but Draco refused to wear the kind of sordid clothes Potter seemed to love so much. It suited him, of course, but Draco had a reputation to uphold.

That was a bit of a stupid reason, even Draco had to admit it, seeing as they were out and about in Muggle London, but Draco, unlike Potter, had class.

Them being friends was still very new to him and definitely needed some getting used to. Potter seemed already comfortable around Draco, always blabbering on about this and that, bumping Draco’s arm with his elbow, grinning at him mischievously…

Blaise had remarked that it very much seemed like he and Potter were dating, but that was just ridiculous. They had just met for coffee a few times, had gone to the movies (Potter’s idea of course and Draco was still a bit traumatised) and had gone for a few walks, like now. Yes, Draco had been a little surprised earlier when Potter had asked him if he wanted to come back to his place later for dinner, but that wasn’t out of the ordinary, was it? Friends did that… right?

As they continued walking down the street, Draco peered sideways and saw that Potter’s face was rather flushed and there were little beads of sweat running down his neck, too.

“Maybe we should have stayed inside today,” Potter wheezed. “I honestly don’t understand how you haven’t fainted yet.” He gazed at Draco’s shirt and his cloth trousers in discomfort.

“Well,” Draco began, eyeing Potter’s burgundy T-shirt and his short trouser, which reached to his knees, “I was taught elegance is a virtue, as well as endurance. Clearly, a concept which seems to be lost on you.” He let his eyes wander over Potter’s body and gave him an appraising look when their eyes met again. Potter seemed to stifle a giggle.

“What?” Draco snapped.

“Endurance,” Potter snorted. “Alright then.” He flashed Draco a toothy grin. Draco had no idea what was so funny about that, but didn’t get the chance to ask. Potter’s eyes had focused on something on the other side of the street. Draco turned around, but had no idea what had caught Potter’s attention.

“Wait here,” Potter told him and and sprinted off. Draco crossed his arms over his chest, huffing. What was Potter up to? And how dare he make Draco wait alone in the middle of the street like this?

Draco tapped his foot impatiently as the minutes passed by. When Potter finally came into view again, Draco saw that he was holding… two ice lollies?

“Here,” Potter said enthusiastically, holding one out to Draco. He gave it a quick glance and made a face.

“No thank you,” he grunted.

“What? Why?”

“I don’t like ice cream,” Draco shrugged. Potter’s eyes widened at that.

“What? How can you not like ice cream?” He sounded genuinely baffled.

“I just don’t.”

Potter kept staring at him, the incomprehension at Draco’s revelation clearly visible on his face.

“You’re dripping,” Draco noted with a raised eyebrow.

“What? Oh!” Only now did Potter seem to notice that the ice lollies were melting quickly, dripping all over his hands. He lifted one hand to his mouth and dragged his tongue over his knuckles slowly. Mesmerised, Draco watched as Potter did the same thing to his other hand.

“You sure you don’t want it?” Potter asked, oblivious to Draco’s sudden inner turmoil. Not trusting his voice at this moment, he just waved a dismissive hand in the air. Potter shrugged and lifted one of the ice lollies to his mouth.

Sweet Merlin!

Draco almost choked as Potter’s lips closed around the ice lollie. He pushed it deeper into his mouth and started sucking. Draco had to control himself not to clutch his chest in surprise. He winced when Potter made a slurping noise.

“You know,”  Potter said happily, “I had my first ice lolly when I was ten years old. I really like them.”

Draco had trouble concentrating on what Potter was saying, but still, a frown formed on his face.

“You hadn’t had ice cream before that?”

Potter shook his head and looked at the two ice lollies in his hands. They were both dripping like mad. He lifted one to his mouth again and licked it, painfully slow, from the bottom up, before sticking it in his mouth again. This time, he twirled it around, before releasing it again with a little ‘pop’.

Draco was sure he was about to faint. The heat wasn’t exactly helping, either.

“Potter,” he spluttered. He stepped forward and gazed at his mouth intently. “Ugh, you really are an imbecile, aren’t you?”

Potter’s mouth and his chin were smeared with the remnants of the ice lolly. Draco reached out and stroked the corner of Potter’s mouth with his thumb. He saw Potter’s adam’s apple bob as he swallowed.

“It’s sticky,” Draco muttered. He wasn’t really aware that he was leaning down, until his tongue made contact with Potter’s skin. Surprised by his own boldness, he quickly stepped back.

“I don’t know why I did that.”

Potter was flushed and he looked like he was trying to decide something.

“Sod that,” he suddenly muttered and let go of the two ice lollies. Before they hit the ground, Potter had his arms around Draco’s neck and their lips pressed together. Draco made a startled sound when Potter’s tongue pushed into his mouth. He tasted like artificial oranges. Yuck! But the things Potter apparently could do with that tongue…

“Let’s go back to my place,” Potter panted after a few moments. “Oh, but first, let me go back to that store real quick.”

Draco frowned.

“Why?”

“Because,” Potter said with one of his mischievous grins, “I want more ice cream.” He dropped his voice to a low, seductive whisper. “I want creamy, rich chocolate ice cream.” Draco shuddered at the way Potter was looking at him. “And I plan to lick it off your chest and out of your navel.”

This time, Draco really did choke. He recovered rather quickly, however, and grabbed Potter’s hand.

“Merlin, what are we waiting for?”

Her Skeleton Will Lie In The Chamber Forever…

hey so i know i dont usually post about romanian things but i need to say this

so last night (yes, in the middle of the fucking night, like the filthy thieves they are) the romanian government passed a law that, basically, makes corruption legal (if its under 45k euros, which is a LOT) AND they’re going to let all the (few) people who (they barely) arrested for this out of prison… 

i know this isnt as important to america as trump, but this is HUGE to us. there were (as far as i know) 90 thousand people protesting last night (the last time there were protests this big was in 1989 when communism fell, just to give you a perspective) and there are going to be even more today

this country has had problems with corruption since the dawn of time but i dont reckon it ever being made LEGAL. i just figured id bring some awareness to this…

here and here are two sources

Shiver (One Shot)

A/N: I got this idea from a scene in Twilight (if you’re a fan, you’ll know which scene lol) and I wanted to put my own sexy twist on it with Bucky. I hope you guys like it! - D. 

Shiver: After a mission goes bad, Reader and Bucky are forced to take shelter during a snowy night. What happens when you show symptoms of hypothermia? 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Graphic details of sex. Swearing. Extremely NSFW. There’s also sex gifs used. (If you’re not comfortable with any of these, keep scrolling.) 

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