yeah this is as good as it's gonna get

i always hate hearing people come to me hating on their father because its like yeah ok you had/have a shitty father i get it i aint gonna invalidate you at all it’s fucking reasonable

but please be aware that its not like that for everyone and sometimes people cant relate or it triggers them – everyone’s circumstances are different with their parents.

i personally have never had one good experience with my mom (she’s abusive as shit) but my dad was always there for me even when he was literally on his deathbed wasting away as i watched

so it’s like yeah please be attentive that some topics regarding family might be triggering to people and that you dont know someone’s life story ok?


hs yearbook awards anonymous asked: rick and morty + most changed


the punchline is that i still haven’t figured out how to draw allura

  • Junkrat and Hana apporach Lucio: Oi! Lucio got any plans for today? Me an Song over here was gonna blow something up real nice.
  • Lucio: I'm getting my hair done for a show this week~
  • Hana: Yeah, but what are you doing after?
  • Lucio stares at them: . .I'm. .I'm getting my hair done?
  • Junkrat: It doesn't take long to get a trim yeah? I mean its like what 5 minutes at best.
  • Hana: A good stylus will take at least an hour Junkrat-
  • Junkrat: nonsense!
  • Lucio hugs both if them really tightly: Neither of you understand true pain, until you sit in a chair for 6 hours
‘Focus’ (2015) Sentence Starter Pack
  • “Will you be my boyfriend? Just for a minute.”
  • “You’re not a serial killer, are you?”
  • “That depends, how many times does it take to get to ‘serial’?”
  • “The more you drink, the more you learn.”
  • “In that case, I am the foremost expert in Jägerbombs.”
  • “You know, it may be the roofies talking, but this was really fun.”
  • “If you had any idea what I was about to do to her… she was gonna be no good to you after that.”
  • “What kinda stuff we talking about?”
  • “Saudi bachelor party shit. R. Kelly drop cloth shit.”
  • “Die with the lie.”
  • “Then why’d you come up here if you’re so smart?”
  • “Professional curiosity. And I like boobs, figured it was a win-win.”
  • “He was so shithouse you could have taken his appendix.”
  • “You really should be more aware.”
  • “It’s a minor miracle I’m not a hooker right now.”
  • “Attention is like a spotlight and our job is to dance in the darkness.”
  • “Human behavior is very predictable.”
  • “You get their focus, you take whatever you want.”
  • “'Father’ is a very generous term.”
  • “Can we skip the part where I speak through thinly veiled allure and lead you to believe that there’s some Earth-shattering hump in the works?”
  • “There’s no Earth-shattering hump in the works?”
  • “No thinly veiled allure? No baby voice? No lingering eye contact? That’s all my favorite shit.”
  • “Does it feel sexy on your face?”
  • “No one looks at your hands when you got that working for you.”
  • “Congratulations, you’re a criminal!”
  • “And if you think for one second that I’m gonna let your mother talk to me like that, you’re fucking crazy! I’m a grown-ass man!”
  • “He uh, financed his own line of gravy.”
  • “You hittin’ that? You should hit that. I’d totally hit that.”
  • “Who was the cop with the wandering hands?”
  • “Who hits on a grieving widow?”
  • “I think we should start with oral. Just sayin’.”
  • “Stay juicy.”
  • “I’ve been in this for a really, really long time and I’ve never seen anything like you.”
  • “I was actually talking about the sex.”
  • “Oh please, there’s a thousand hoes, baby.”
  • “You’re just layin’ there. I’m like, come on, is this thing on?”
  • “There’s two kinds of people in this world. There’s hammers and there’s nails.”
  • “Is this a bad time to mention I don’t really like football.”
  • “I know my drunks.”
  • “I know my lechers too!”
  • “It’s just an expression, hard to explain. Rough translation: 'I’m fucked’.”
  • “She sounds like my wife.”
  • “It’s crazy, I know, but it will be his fault, not yours.”
  • “You have got some big fucking balls.”
  • “Kill me later.”
  • “I’m the blind mouse? You’re such an asshole!”
  • “Now, just what part of the plan calls for trays of Appletinis? Pledging a sorority?”
  • “A little small on top for my taste.”
  • “One man’s small is another man’s perfection. It’s like breasts are subjective, opinion topics.”
  • “Hey, you need to put some clothes on.”
  • “There’s Australian people here. Just sayin’, they shipped all those people down there for a reason.”
  • “You don’t know me, remember?”
  • “Stop touching my shit, _____”
  • “Whatever you want, I can keep you safe.”
  • “I’d really like to show you all the things I’ve learned. Like how I play men. Like how I just played you.”
  • “I think you’re losing it, that was pathetic.”
  • “'I’ll keep you safe?’ What was what? Does that work? Does that get you laid?”
  • “You must be really turned on with all these beautiful women here.”
  • “Oh dear God, please never make that face again. I don’t even want to know what that means.”
  • “Everybody knows you’re a lesbian, it’s completely fine.”
  • “There’s a lazy Sunday softness to your generation. Makes me uncomfortable.”
  • “Sarcasm. Another pillar of your generation. You wanna tell somebody to 'fuck off’? Tell 'em to 'fuck off’.”
  • “With friends like you who needs luck?”
  • “There’s a science to getting people to trust you.”
  • “What’s a 'race skank’?”
  • “She’s been driving me crazy. Hanging around, flirting, teasing. The minute I try to get her up to my room - a headache! A period, right? The world’s longest period!”
  • “That time of the month. It’s like a crime scene.”
  • “I have Scrabble in my room.”
  • “I was trying to steal his watch!”
  • “It’s what I’m good at and I like it!”
  • “You did all of this to make me jealous?”
  • “You can’t believe I lied? Oh, that’s so rich from you.”
  • “You’re always lying, ____! I don’t know when you’re telling the truth.”
  • “Here’s the thing about lying. Fucks up all your options.”
  • “He is not gonna die. Probably.”
  • “I cannot believe you made me shoot you.”
  • “I like you, honey, you can take a punch.”
  • “And then the girl walked in.”

anonymous asked:

#17 on list 2 with Merlin cause he's a fluff ball

that prompt was made for him and merlin is my actual ray of sunshine, what a babe

Consider: FAHC Gavin being a Parkour artist. Now hear me out, he’s younger when he learns, yeah, and maybe its building off his gymnastics+ballet lessons, and he’s learning the ropes, getting his rhythm, eating shit, constantly.

Absolutely eating shit. All the goddamn time. Face meets pavement, meets that poor old lady he didn’t see, meets metal pole, meets concrete. His nose he just gives up on, he worried he’s gonna have to get prosthetic teeth, he breaks his arms and wrists and ankles so much the hospitals known him by name no ID required. But he gets good. Really good. YouTube good.

And then he discovers he can code too, so hacking, free-running, he’s like ‘I’m the most unlikely damn video game character ever but whatever, here I am.’ And he expands his skills, decides to put both of his skills to use. Hacks into and disables a security system, sneaks into the convenience store and is out through the vents before the cashier comes back from the bathroom. And on like this. Thief, Hacker, Parkour Artist.

Now, cut ahead. He moves to LS, Burnie sees the untapped potential in this kid, and Geoff takes him under wing but for hacking, not for his thievery skills, not for his parkour, just hacking, so he falls off it, doesn’t need to use it, never ends up doing it in front of the crew BC its exhausting and unnecessary. Until, one day, Gavin takes the piss out of Ryan just a wee bit too well.

Gavin’s running through the penthouse giggling like an asshole with Ryan, irate, lovely Ryan, tearing ass after him. And Gavin’s cornered suddenly. The only out is an open window. Ryan’s advancing, seething with anger, the rest of the crew is sure Gavin’s gonna get the shit kicked out of him. Serves the bitch right too. But does he? Nah. Gavin twists, shoves his body through the window, There’s a balcony ledge he stands up on, and praising muscle memory to high heavens he looks back at Ryan, who’s less angry now and more dawning understanding mixed with outright concern, flashes a crooked smile and swan dives.

Seconds pass. Ryan’s gaping. The Crew is gaping. Michael is three seconds away from an actual aneurysm. The crew, Geoff in the forefront, runs to the window. They look down. Nothing. No English dickhead pancake on the concrete below. Absolutely nothing. And then, Gavin, dear fuckhead, swings over spiderman style from the lower floor’s balcony to the one directly besides it. Gracefully. Like he knows what the fuck he’s doing, very, very well. He looks back. the crew is still gaping. Geoff’s brain is broke. It can’t be. Gavin’s a clumsy dickweed who can’t even walk without falling over himself.

Gavin grins. Ever the showman, he shouts. “You ain’t seen nothing yet!” And parkours up to the roof of the penthouse, with much acrobatic nonsense. A lot of fanfare. He’s showy, that Gavin. The Crew, finally, erupts.

“OH MY GOD.” is the general consensus. Followed by “HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT.” Ray takes his hoodie’s hood off as a sign of respect for his new found Parkour brethren. Gavin shrugs, parkours his way back down, the crew grabs his shirt and yanks him back into the safety of the penthouse before letting him speak. “I learned back in England.” Gavin says.

The crew is baffled. “Why did you never tell me?!” Geoff demands. “You never asked.” Gavin replies, relishing in the awe. “I’m not to bad at a cheeky bit of cat burglary either.”

“Oh my god, you JACKASS. Gavin I will crack your skull open if you ever do that again without warning me.” Ryan says. Gavin grins at him. “You’ll have to catch me first.”

Yeah. So, Imagine that.

another thing! if y'all wanna support black businesses, you’re gonna have to be a bit more realistic in terms of price point.

take, for example, the black hair industry. worth billions of dollars, and i guarantee nearly all of it is going to whites and asians. there’s a monopoly on beauty supply stores and the supplies themselves; black people been well aware of that. so when a black owned beauty supply pops up, ima need you to pay that $10-$20 more to support their come up and help get them to a point where they don’t HAVE to charge that much.

not only are they buying the supplies at a higher price point, they also have to feed themselves and pay the employees a fair wage. it doesn’t seem realistic to want to buy black then back away when they ain’t as cheap as “african ebony princess supply”.

im not saying go ahead and spend all your coin on something ridiculously priced, ima just really need y'all to be mindful and realistic when it comes to supporting our own

“The key to happiness is low expectations.

I expect nothing when I wake up in the morning. Like, today is gonna probably suck. You know? And if it’s halfway decent, I only can be pleased. 

If you start out every day and you’re like, “today’s gonna be awesome”, as soon as something bad happens, you’re like, “ah, today sucks! it got ruined for me!”  […] 

If my glass has any water in it in the end of the day, I’m happy. Because I start out with an empty glass. I’m like, this is an empty glass, it can only get full.”

- Rhett McLaughlin

me @ ffxv: why did i buy you

To be objective, I don’t completely blame Misha for promoting destiel cause I don’t know his motivations. Half of his answers could be read as sarcastic or crude humor –like he is not being serious and is pulling a practical joke on the crowd. He does give a lot of ammo for shippers to promote himself, but yeah, I can overlook that. Normally. 

Problem is, its a win-win tactic for Misha but its a lose-lose situation for Jensen. Misha reaps the benefits aka gets the goodwill and popularity, which would be alright with me, save for the fact that Jensen gets the resulting backlash, which I despise. Misha promises things that aren’t gonna happen and Jensen is left to do the clean up work. The fans take Misha’s words as gospel because he tells them what they want to hear, even if its factually false, and cast him as the “good guy”. Jensen, who is honest and doesn’t lie to please fans gets the short end of the stick and gets called horrible names for being straightforward and truthful. 

Can you see why I resent Misha for this behavior now?

“Satan dressed as a nun having queer sex in a basement” 

“You’re supposed to go YEAH YOU GO GIRL, but you’re not supposed to identify with someone who’s biting off dicks–and if you do, therapy is good. Get out of that relationship.”

“Dicks are not haunted”

College lit classes are weird

i know it’s been ages since the last poster, sorry about that (i’ve had a lot of homework to get done) but here’s Rebooted’s poster! the next poster’s gonna be amazing, there’s something special planned for that one, but it might take a while before it’s ready! 

(more posters!)

me: yeah, i have this chronic illness and its honestly so debilitating, i hate it, some days it feels like im actually gonna die and even on good days i feel like im worn out and fading away. it actually might kill me one day.

some abled person: haha!! its okay!! honestly… were all gonna die eventually right??? ur not alone uwu i completely get it!!!1

SO I went to NYCC, had a blast, and doodled a heck of a lot of Voltron Legendary defender after the Season 2 previews and full episode.

Spoilers below the cut, and context for the spoilers at the very end if you absolutely need episode 2 context cause omg.

Keep reading

My First Time Getting High

Homie: You wanna smoke something bruh?

Me: nah its a waste of time bruh, nothing ever happens to me

Homie: i gottchu, we gonna hotbox

Originally posted by mikamilk

(so we got them blunts in rotation…) 

Me: *Thinking* we on the 2nd blunt, i don’t feel shit. i can’t breathe in this hot ass car. i don’t understand why niggas do this to they lives.

Originally posted by smokey-queen

Homie: You Good Bruh?

Me: Yeah I’m pretty good, can’t breathe in this hot ass car though (I’m the pink mofo)

Originally posted by buzz-kill

Homie: You’ll be alright (pulls out a 4th Blunt)

Me: Oh Fuck no…i can’t hang bruh, I’m sorry i can’t breathe in this hot ass car.

Originally posted by ucgif

Me: (so I’m sitting chilling now) i don’t feel anything. i told you this shit don’t work

Homie: haha…idk then man. you just might have to smoke more. but aye I’m about to grab us want some snacks (walking out the room) 

Me: Oh Shit (it hit me all at once)

Originally posted by bokumetsu

Me: i done fucked up…my soul… i can feel everything. i can hear everything. I’m thinking I’m gone die

Originally posted by lunatic-trapped-in-time

i know I’m fucked up beyond my beliefs.I am trying to grasp the concept of chill. so i look at his dog and it looks back at me…(im trying to read its mind and everything)

Dog: You done let my master fuck over you…

Originally posted by naganohara

Me: I’m skipping through life within seconds. this nigga dog talking to me. I’m dying. 

Originally posted by mrcmfbyo

This nigga come back in the room with a glass of Kool-Aid and some chips looking like a master from a karate movie

Originally posted by bubblegumcrash

i completely lost my shit laughing and couldn’t stop. thought i was gonna die laughing. i had to beg this nigga to make another face cuz his straight face too funny.

Originally posted by hikewhileyoucan

Homie: You tripping bruh. lol you not that high though. ( he sat the the Kool-Aid in front of me)

Me: I can see how cold it is through the glass. at that moment it was literally the coldest thing on earth, and this nigga Kool-Aid could give you diabetes just looking at it. 

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs


Originally posted by rngcilantro

Me: i could literally taste every particle of the juice (after i figured out how to attack the cold ass glass)

Homie: catch the chips bruh. we gotta see if your motor skills still good. (tosses the doritos) 


Originally posted by virtualsandwichconnoisseur

I’m dead for a solid minute and shit, and he turn some music on, loud ass hell and i come back to life and start dancing.(i can’t even dance but I’m on point with the beat Lmao)

Originally posted by crybaby-cliffo

Me: I aint know life could feel this good bruh. never again shall i let you fuck over my soul though. (passes out eating and happy)

Homie: You a lightweight though bruh. i can get you higher. All in due time.

Originally posted by princessfleek

-I do not condone drug usage, but if you gonna try it have fun :)