yeah the last one was a lie

TalesFromTheFrontDesk: Yeah I'll totally lie to my company for you :)

So lately, in order to bump up the elite appreciation scores, we’ve been handing out little gifts to lower-level rewards members since the top ones already get a complimentary gift upon arrival. Last week we gave out little cards for a free coffee in the morning, and this week I made little giftbags with a snack and water bottle in them. I even made little name cards and tied them on with ribbon, and curled the ribbon with scissors. You know, extra af. We recieved two responses to these gifts that were beyond annoying.

One lady gets handed the free coffee card by my coworker, the lady gets all huffy and goes, “Seriously? Just a small coffee?” Trying to avoid her bullshit, my coworker told her we’ll just go ahead and make it a large, just for her, since she’s more special than everyone else that got the card. She says, “No, don’t. It’s just the principle of the matter.”

Lady, the principle of the matter is you can get something for free when you usually get nothing, or you can pay for it. Your choice.

Tonight I’m handing out the giftbags, and one of our lucky winners comes to check-in, I tell him he is a guest of the day and give him his bag along with upgrade.

Guest: “Nah, I don’t want that. Keep it.”

VI: “You don’t want it???” I’m totally taken aback D: lol

Guest: “No, but what you can do is award me 10,000(!!!!) rewards points, and just tell your bosses their was a rat in my room.”

VI: ……………..“No, I can’t do that.”

Guest: “Seriously? Not even 5,000?”

VI: “No, I’m sorry..but I did give you an upgrade.”

People boggle my mind more every day.

By: ViioletIndigo


Plot: Jimin always thought his traditional Korean girlfriend was perfect – that was, until he realized how beautiful foreigners could be.

Pairing: Idol!Park Jimin x Backup Dancer!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Notes: I based this off of every single MTL I have seen of BTS dating a girl of a different race or a girl of color – Jimin always seems to be one of the people who were least likely to date one. I definitely do not think that Jimin is this ignorant in any way. This is only a work of fiction. This is for all the international beauties! 2,536 Words

Originally posted by bwipsul

“Oppa, I’m missing you so much!”

“I’m missing you too, my love. Don’t worry, I’ll be back in a few days, okay?”

One of the worst parts about tour was leaving lovers behind. For Jimin, it wasn’t only his lover, it was his home. He enjoyed tour, performing for all of the ARMYs around the world, going on stage; but he wasn’t a huge fan of being in a foreign country. He didn’t know English that well, and he wasn’t fond of being in a place where he couldn’t understand anything. 

“I know,” The soft voice of his significant other brought pink to his cheeks. “Call me when your rehearsal is over.”

“I will, I love you,” He glanced at the leader of his band, who was calling him over.

“I love you too.”

With that, he had ended the call with a sigh, and headed over to his band. It hadn’t even been a few minutes since he cut the call, and he was already missing her – a thought he had experienced after each long-distance conversation with his lover. The short male shook his head and got his head back in the game, his eyes going up to meet a group of people dressed in black.

“This is your dance crew for this city,” The manager announced to the band. “Not all of them know Korean, so if you have an queries, just talk to Jihoon. He is the leader.”

“We understand.”

Once that brief introduction was done, they were all left to their own devices for a few minutes, whilst the leader of the dance team talked to the leader of the band. Jimin had let himself scan over the people he would be working with; not that he would talk to them, he was just curious and bored. Most of them had masks on – no one had really caught his eyes, except for one person. 

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Sweet Creature (M)

*I have no words*

Request: Can I get a Sub Jungkook smut where their on the couch and he cums in his pants while the reader is grinding on him on his lap and dirty talks to him in his ear??? Thanks☺️☺️☺️

Word Count: 6.9k words (heh heh)

Let me ruin you goddammit

Let’s get one thing straight. You never claimed to be a good person, never did charity work, never been the perfect daughter for your parents. And you sure as hell wasn’t someone’s little girlfriend.

You did what you want, who you wanted and slipped out of their sheets before they murmur good morning in your ear. You were a ‘no strings attached’ girl, making sure that you would never become someone’s puppet. Of course, you weren’t immune to the disease called ‘love’, your innocent high school days plagued with your naive mindset of finding the ‘one’. It still haunts you, one of the reasons your night doesn’t end with a shot of whisky and half a pack of beer. The only person who was willing to put up with you was your best friend, Jungkook.

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The Curse of Limbo: Age

When I was 1, my mother and father got into their first argument. When I was two, my first baby brother was born– he looks just like mother. Still does. When I was 3, my last baby brother was born– he acts so strange and he’s the luckiest one too. He almost died twice, but an angel is always there to save him. When I was 4, my father moved out and my mother was finally free from his tyranny. When I was 5, my grandmother smiled because she caught me in my first lie. When I was 6, my grandfather passed away– I cried for a whole week… or maybe for the whole day… time is an illusion, yeah? When I was 7, I burned my grandmother’s kitchen down. She covered for me. When I was 8, I made a best friend at school. The next day he was another kid’s best friend, so I cried about it. When I was 9, my grandmother from Vietnam passed away. My mom cried that whole month. Time is still an illusion. When I was 10, my mother still hit us. When I was 11, I questioned my existence. Why am I here? When I was 12, I told her to stop hitting us. She called the cops on me. They said I didn’t do anything wrong. Case closed. When I was 13, I got my first heartbreak. When I was 14, I smoked my first blunt. When I was 15, I popped my first pill. When I was 16, I was single for a whole year. When I was 17, I met a smile with poetry written all over it. When I was 18, she broke my heart. When I was 19, I started to smoke a lot more. When I was 20, I was so damn lost. When I was 21, all we did was fuck. When I was 22, she said that this was enough. When I was 23, I dropped the razor. I’m 24 now. I wonder about 25. I chase after 26. I’m in love with 27. It gets better.

One night // SHAWN MENDES

Overview: you’re in a relationship but you’re in love with Shawn- the only reason you’re not with him is because you’re scared of being hurt. One night things get heated between you and Shawn and feelings are confessed.

Requested: YASSS

Authors note: sooooo this is new

“So how’s Jeff?” his eyes glint mischievously as he turns to look at me, our attention quickly focusing on the other rather then the movie.

“Jeff?” I hum, raising an eyebrow at him.

“You know, your boyfriend?” the way he says it makes shivers crawl up my spine.

“He’s good,” I murmur, turning away from him.

“Just good?” he prods, nudging my side with his elbow making me squirm.

“He’s amazing,” I sigh, looking back a him. “He’s so kind and patient, never rushes me into anything I don’t want to do.” I pause, my eyes locked onto Shawn’s, his face blank of emotions.

“He listens to me, I listen to him. We work well together,” 

“Do you think he might be the one?” Shawn questions just above a whisper.

No words come out my mouth as I stare at him. Was my relationship with Jeff endgame? I had no clue.

“Why would you ask me that?” Instead comes out my mouth.

“Curious,” he whispers and in that moment it felt like the room heated up. It felt like the skin of my thigh that was resting against Shawn’s was on fire.

“I don’t know, its too soon,” I whisper back, unaware that I was moving closer to him.

“You’ve been dating for 7 months,” Shawn states, reciprocating my movement.

“Does that mean I have to know now?” I asks sarcastically and Shawn smirks.

“Its usually a good clue for a relationship,” Shawn looks like he wants to say something else.

“Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t,” I shrug. There was tension in the room, something that was unsaid between our friendship that was bound to come out soon. That time seemed to be now.

“Do you love him?” Shawn’s eyes blaze at the question, passion glowing in them.

“I don’t know,” I breathe the words, my face inches from his. I hadn’t even realize we’d gotten this close. The last time I’d been in a position like this with him was 9 months ago- before Jeff- where Shawn and I had kissed.

Deep in my soul, I knew I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to feel his heated lips pressed against my own as my hands trailed up his back to tangle in his hair. I shouldn’t want this- crave this, especially when I had Jeff.

“Why did you run away from me last time?” Shawn asks me quietly, immediately I know he’s thinking about the same thing I am.

“I..” I can’t find the words again. “I was scared,” 

He freezes, his nose brushing the tip of mine and my cheeks burn at the contact, his presence did things to my body that never occurred when I was with Jeff. 

“Of me?” his eyes drop to my lips before flicking back up.

“I don’t think I could ever be scared of you Shawn,” the thought making a smile appear on my face at the absurd question.

“Then what?” His tone is soft, weary. This is the most we’ve ever talked about it. After our moment of passion I had fled- not wanting to see Shawn. After that searing kiss I had buried my emotions in fear of being hurt by him. 

“I didn’t want you to break my heart,” I gulp, the truth finally out in the open.

“Y/n, I would never dream of breaking your heart,” Shawn whispers, his hands reaching up to cup my face.

“I know,” For some weird reason I’m crying. Shawn however, simply wipes away the fallen tears.

“The last thing I want is to see you hurt because of me,” he whispers. Jeff doesn’t even cross my mind as my best friend inches closer to me until his lips are about to brush mine.

“I wish that what I knew now, I knew ages ago,” he says and its like time has frozen, its just me and him.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble and he smiles but it looks fake.

“I wish you were mine, I know I’m selfish to want this when you have a boyfriend but you do crazy things to me,” His words pull me in until its like I’m drowning in them.

“There’s nothing wrong-” I don’t even bother finishing my sentence, my breathing rugged as his hands crawl to hold my waist, my skin feeling hot where his thumb lazily rubs the exposed area.

“One night,” he mutters, to himself or me I’m unsure. “I want you for one night, all mine,” 

Then his lips are upon mine and its everything I’ve imagined from last time. He tastes the same, minty with a slight hint of the tea he always seems to be drinking.

My hands are in his hair as he’s pulling me closer, his lips feverishly pressing into mine and I’m shaking from the feeling of his body against mine. 

Not once do I think of my boyfriend as Shawn picks me up, carrying me to his bedroom to place me on the bed. 

I don’t think about how he’s at home right now, trusting me, as my shirt is being discarded on the floor. 

I don’t think about how he’s been perfect in every aspect that a boyfriend could be as my jeans are peeled off my legs and Shawn crawls between them, his skin flush against mine.

All that crosses my mind is how Shawn is here, right now, kissing me, holding me, touching me. Friends don’t do this. Friends don’t feel this way about each other. A girlfriend doesn’t feel this way when she’s in a relationship with someone else.

Shawn’s damp forehead presses against mine as he raises his arms to press my hands against the mattress, entwining our fingers together as I cry out softly at the feeling of Shawn.

“I’m in love with you,” My eyes snap to meet his in the dimly lit room, his eyes filled with adoration and love. Just like Jeff’s.

“I love you,” I can’t help but whimper back at him. He murmurs it again, repeating it over and over as the night slowly fades away and the morning approaches.

When I wake up, he’s not next to me. I sit up, my stomach a mess of emotions. I slept with Shawn. That same sentence on loop inside my head.

Chucking a shirt over my head I make my way to the kitchen where I hear Shawn’s voice.

“Yeah no sorry she’s still here, she fell asleep and it was late,” his tone is impassive and I feel my stomach drop to the floor.

“Yeah I’ll tell her you called, bye,” He puts his phone on the bench, running his hands through his hair and tugging on the ends in a stressful manor.

“Shawn?” I ask softly. He turns around at my voice.

“Hey,” He smiles at me.

“Who was that?” My voice tremors, both of us knowing that I already knew the answer.

“Jeff,” I still take a sharp intake of breath at the name.

“Y/n,” Shawn breaks the silence. “I want you to know that not for one second last night that anything I said was a lie, I meant every word,” he’s searching my face, looking for a sign that I feel the same.

“Shawn,” I whisper, I’m scared I’ve stuffed everything up.

“Y/n please, no, don’t tell me last night was a mistake,” He’s tearing up quickly and it makes my heart clench. “You told me you loved me,” His voice wobbles and it tips me over the edge.

“I’m sorry,” I sob, my hand wiping my watery eyes. “I’m so sorry,”

“No, no,” I’ve never seen Shawn cry until now. “Please don’t tell me you’re going back to him,”

“I never lied last night Shawn,” He tries to smile but fails miserably. “But I cheated Shawn, Jeff never deserved that.”

“I should have stopped it when I could have,” He turns away from me, his shoulders shaking slightly.

“Hey,” I walk over to him, placing a hand on his bare shoulder.

He turns slightly to me and I wipe away one of his tears and he sniffles, smiling, doing the same to me.

“Last night wasn’t a mistake for me, it was a mistake in a sense that we shouldn’t have done that when I was in a relationship but our feelings couldn’t stay hidden forever,” he pulls me into his chest as I comfort him with my words.

“I’m sorry about how it happened,” He mutters into my hair.

“I’m going to go home and talk to Jeff about everything, I just hope I haven’t ruined his trust in relationships,” I trail off, the guilt simmering in my stomach.

“We all make mistakes,” Shawn leans back to look at me, holding my face in hands. “You’re human and it happens, we can’t take it back,” A silence fills the room.

“I’m going to come back here tomorrow, we’re going to talk about us,” I tell him softly.

“There’s an us?” Shawn asks, shock written across his features.

“I love you, remember?”

No Strings (VII)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jimin

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 4,956

Summary: It started off as such a simple question. How to know if you’re bad in bed? Of course when you asked, you didn’t imagine Jimin would actually answer.

Originally posted by mayfifolle

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Cotton Candy

Originally posted by apgujeon

                                                          ‘Have you ever tasted something, 

sweeter than cotton candy itself?’

Featuring: Jungkook (bts)
Gere: smut (so much oral)
Word Count: 2,457


A/N: The name for this was inspired by Frank Ocean’s Pink Matter.

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Pregnancy sentence starters

“Y’know, with all your symptoms, it kind of sounds like you might be pregnant.”
“There’s no harm in taking a test, just to know for sure…”
“Morning sickness still pretty bad, I’m assuming?”
“Do you… think you might be pregnant?”
“I know you’ve been feeling pretty shitty, want me to skip work and rub your back?”
“You have to take it easy.”
“Oh my god, we’re going to be parents!”
“Are you pregnant again…?”
“Loving another baby with you would be easy.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“How far along are you?”
“If you’re tired you need to sleep, honey.”
“What did the test say?”
“Do you think it’s a boy or a girl? Or both? Or two of each?”
“I’m pretty sure they call it morning sickness because they want to lie to you and say it’ll only last in the morning so you’ll procreate.”
“Did you throw up again? I can come home early and cuddle with you.”
“I should be recording this for the baby.”
“I mean, someone has to hold your hair.”
“Oh my god! I just felt it kick!”
“Are you SURE it’s a boy/girl or is this just another one of your intuitions?”
“Are you excited?”
“Yeah, growing a person inside you doesn’t sound fun at all.”

The In-Between Part 3

Summary:  This is a college!AU where Sam and the reader attend the same university.

Characters: AU!Dean x Reader, AU!Sam x Reader

Warnings: SMUT (oral, female receiving, unprotected sex), Angst, swearing

Word Count:  2795

A/N:  This is Part Three, you can find Part One HERE and Part Two HERE.  I loved going back to college so much that this became a trilogy.

Thank you to my lovely pal @wheresthekillswitch for being my MastaBeta on this one.

Italics are the end of Part Two.

The gifs in the body of the story are from Google Search, credit goes to their owners.

Originally posted by stetsonsalvatore


The next day you make your way through campus sipping your coffee.  It’s still warm and between the caffeine in your system and the sun on your skin, you’re tentatively excited about the fresh possibilities of a new semester.  You’re not over what happened, you’re not sure you ever will be, but you’re determined to keep positive.  You’re feeling pretty good about everything given the circumstances when you walk into the lecture room.  You scan the room looking for a good seat when your eyes catch view of a head above the rest.  Dimples are assaulting you from across the room, and they are not adorable.


You look away immediately, your hopeful mood now murderous.  You find the seat closest to the door and sit down, keeping your gaze to the front.  You’re sure the professor spoke, but you can recall nothing, the only evidence you were there is the syllabus in your hands.  As soon as class is released you dash for the door.  You’re hoping to make it through the quad before he can reach you.  Today is not your day however and when you’re halfway across you hear him call your name.

“Y/N!  Hey, Y/N, wait up.”

His large hand gently catches your arm just under one of the leafy trees dotting the grassy expanse.  Damn him and his long legs, you grumble to yourself.  You spin on him, your eyes shooting daggers, and he leans away from you taken aback.

“What do you want, Sam?”

“I just wanted to say hi and see how you are?”

“Hi and how am I?  Hmm, I don’t know?  Shitty.  I’m feeling pretty shitty, Sam.  How are you?” you ask, your voice dripping sarcasm.

Sam opens his mouth to speak then closes it again.

“Sorry, I just wanted to see you, the way we left things…” he trails off.

“Which time Sam?  The time we slept together while you conveniently forgot you had a girlfriend?  Or the time that you guilted my boyfriend into dumping me?”

His face flicks from ashamed to indignant and he pulls you nearer to the tree.

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Trimberly James Bond AU BECAUSE OF THIS BEAUTIFUL IMAGE (by @smallandsundry

The man goes down quickly, a clean shot to the center to his forehead, forcing the woman behind him to step out of the way to avoid his falling body; she doesn’t scream or shout or make any noise of distress, which is refreshing, but when she glances back up, she looks anything but pleased.

“You have got to be joking.”

Kim holsters her weapon and smooths down her suit, but the grin spreads across her face before she’s completed either action — even, in fact, before the man’s body hits the floor.

“Hello, darling! Isn’t this a pleasant surprise?”

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Marvel’s Defenders Go On Their Second Mission

JESSICA: What’s out there, Matt? It’s totally dark in this abandoned warehouse.

MATT: I’m not gonna lie to you, Jessica. It’s not good. There’s [pauses to listen] forty-seven dudes in there, at some of them sound like they’re carrying rifles but we have to assume they’re all armed, and [sniffs] at least ten of them have doused themselves in AXE Body Spray.

JESSICA: You can tell how many by smell?

MATT: Enhanced senses aren’t always a blessing, Jessica. Wilson Fisk eats an omelette every day. You wanna ask me how I know that?


MATT: Right. And if you kick him in the stomach, it just [makes a fart noise] right out. It’s gross to you, and a World War One chemical weapons attack to me. Hang on, Luke’s coming.

[Enter LUKE Cage]

LUKE: Sorry I’m late, guys. I had three Ubers cancel on me once they saw they were picking up a black man.

MATT: Wait, Luke’s black?

LUKE: Very funny, Matt. What’s the situation?

JESSICA: We’ve got 47 armed guys, in a pitch black warehouse, between us and the hostage.

LUKE: If it’s pitch black, we’ve got to conclude they’ve got night vision.

JESSICA: Yeah. Good thing we’re both bulletproof. And Matt’s here’s good at sneaking around.

LUKE: Yeah. So. We go on three? One… Two…

MATT: Wait! Is that [sniffs] patchouli?

JESSICA: Oh, no.

[Enter DANNY Rand]

DANNY: Hey guys!


LUKE: [longsuffering sigh] Hi, Danny.

DANNY: I didn’t get the text that we were meeting up!

JESSICA: That’s because we aren’t going up against Cobra Kai, Danny. These guys have guns. And night vision goggles. Matt can fight in total darkness, Luke and I are bulletproof, and you…

DANNY: I’m the Iron Fist!

JESSICA: Christ almighty. Did they name you “Iron Fist” because of your uncontrolled erections as a teenager? Last time out you hid behind Luke the whole time. Listen, one of these assholes puts a bullet in your abdomen and Matt’s not going to be able to come within a hundred yards of you because of the smell of your colostomy bag.

DANNY: Leave Matt out of this.

JESSICA: Am I right?

MATT: Yeah, you’re right. Uggggggggh.

JESSICA: Your superpower is you’re a guy who “knows kung-fu.” You’re so white you don’t even know kung fu is not a martial art, Daniel-san.

DANNY: Don’t call me that!

JESSICA: What? Daniel-San? You prefer Danny Rand? Really? Was Annie Rand a little too on-the-nose for your parents, rich boy? You do this John Galt thing for twelve years and you’re supposed to be SAVING us? And K’unlun isn’t even a real country! You know where the Kunlun mountains are? Afghanistan!

MATT: Really? Afghanistan?

DANNY: Tibet, actually.

JESSICA: If you were in Tibet, why don’t you say Tibet? President of the Dave Matthews Fan Club here spends twelve years in a training camp in the mountains of central Asia and the Customs and Border Protection folks don’t say a fucking word about it, just let his ass in like it was nothing!

DANNY: Look, I…

LUKE: Obama went to elementary school in Indonesia when he was eight, and Dinesh D’Souza made like three movies calling him a terrorist because of it. Your pasty ass spends his formative years spitting distance from Tora Bora and we’re supposed to be “Oh, Danny Rand! So exotic!” Sweet Christmas–you’re oblivious.

DANNY: Hey! I lost my parents there!

LUKE: Everyone here who’s lost their parents in some sort of catastrophe with possible criminal ramifications, raise your hand. Yep, that’s unanimous. Try again. Wait, don’t. Look at us, Danny. Matt is disabled. Jessica came through a psychosexual horrorshow I don’t even want to imagine. I’m a black man with a criminal record. You’re a billionaire who spent a dozen years studying abroad. You should be building an art car made out of weed for Burning Man using your trust fund, not going up against an armed paramilitary force.

DANNY: This is…reverse discrimination! It’s just because I’m a white guy! I’ve worked to earn everything I had.

JESSICA: Yeah. You’re the majority shareholder in a multinational corporation and you’ve never graduated high school. You read and write English at an eighth-grade level because you stopped speaking it at age 12. You can’t balance a checkbook, drive a car, or bring a woman to orgasm, although you don’t know about the last one because women lie to you to spare your feelings–and the aforementioned multinational corporation.

DANNY: I don’t have to listen to this! I’m outta here.

[Exit DANNY]

LUKE: You think we were a little hard on him?

JESSICA: He was gonna get somebody killed.

LUKE: Yeah, you’re probably right. Okay, we doing this? On three. One… Two…

MATT: Wait, Danny is WHITE?

I Can’t

Final Part of Promises -  Promesas Español Masterlist

Word Count: 601

Warnings: Depressed!reader, mentions of past abuse, angst

I RememberI Broke

“Hey, we missed you last weekend.”

I can do this. I can pretend. “Yeah, sorry about that. I had this business trip that I couldn’t get out of.”

The last time I heard Jared’s voice was nearly four weeks ago, which was two weeks before I made my decision. As far as he knows, I haven’t had an anxiety attack or depressive episode in nearly a month.

He doesn’t need to know that they’re happening every other day now.

“You’ll have to make it up to me next time I’m in town.” My best friend’s voice is nearly sending me into another tailspin. No. He isn’t my best friend. Jensen is his best friend. Gen is his best friend. I’m his friend from high school. “Maybe we can go bowling with the boys or something.”

The boys. Tom and Shep. The boys who call me their aunt. The boys I used to think of as my nephews. But that has to stop because my family is toxic. My blood stains everything it touches. I’ll ruin their lives if they keep considering me their family. We Y/L/Ns are destructive. Some of us leave physical marks, and some of us cause emotional scars.

I have both as a testament.

“Yeah,” I lie, managing to keep my voice steady. “Maybe you’ll actually beat me this time.”

“No one can beat you, Y/N. You’re the bowling queen.”

“Jensen came close last time.” The memory of that night four months ago grabs my heart and squeezes until my entire body aches. It was easier to get caught up in the moment and believe that I was happy. I used to be able to convince myself that I was okay for a few hours.

But not anymore. I’m done lying to myself.

And lying to Jared hurts even more.

“Hey, I gotta go. Big day tomorrow.”

“Oh yeah? What’s going on?”

And of course he genuinely cares. He really wants to know. Because that’s what good friends do. They want to know what’s going on in your life. They’re happy when you’re happy. They don’t feel nauseous every time they see the picture perfect life you have just because they know they won’t ever have that.

I’m not a good friend. I’m too jealous that he has everything I want.

“Just a work thing. A meeting with a bunch of people.”

The silence on the other end doesn’t bode well. It’s the silence that means he’s about to ask how I’m doing. How I’m really doing.

“It’s been a while since we’ve talked. You haven’t called in a month. You doing okay?”

“Yeah.” Another lie and another rope being knotted around my lungs, squeezing the air from my body until my vision starts caving in. “I’ve been busy. Too busy to wallow, I guess.”

“Good, that’s good. You’ll let me know if you need me to fly down and give you a hug or something, right? Gen’s just twenty minutes away too.”

She’s a little further than twenty minutes, I think, but don’t say. Boxes of unpacked belongings litter my new apartment. In my new state. Closer to my new job. Seven states away from Texas.

“Yeah, I know. But I really gotta go get my beauty sleep. Talk to you later.”

“Sleep well. Love you!”

I can’t do it. I can’t say it back to him. So I just hang up. Hang up and turn my phone off. I’ll get a new one tomorrow. New phone, new number, new apartment, new state, new job.

No one to save me from myself.

It’s for the best.

Explanation (why there won’t be more parts)

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Professor Winchester (Dean Winchester x Reader AU) Chap. 8

Professor Winchester Masterlist

Word Count: 2,270

Professor!Dean Winchester x Reader AU

Warnings: Language, mentions of drug use, angst, the tiniest amount of fluff 

*gif not mine, found off google*

Your mind begins to race as you take in the scene in front of you, panic overcoming your mind. Mr. Shurley is still standing there, hand in hand with who you presume to be his boyfriend or husband, a confused (and shocked) expression on his face.

“Dean Winchester?” Mr. Shurley says slowly. “I thought I recognized your car! You’re the last person I expected to see here tonight. How are you doing?”

Dean looks over at you, panic obvious in his eyes. You shake your head at him as if to say that you have no ideas. This is it- you’re going to get kicked out of university because even when you’re cities away from people who know the two of you, fate has a twisted sense of humor.

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Eddie Van Coon the Sherlock mirror pinches a jade hairpin and gives it to Amanda the John mirror. 

From wiki: “Hairpins in Chinese culture, while…they can symbolize the transition from childhood to adulthood, they were closely connected to the concept of marriage as well. At the time of an engagement, the fiancee may take a hairpin from her hair and give it to her fiance as a pledge

So, there’s another marriage reference for you, for what it’s worth. 

We’re then told why Sherlock’s mirror gave this hairpin pledge of marriage to John’s mirror:

SHERLOCK: [He] didn’t know its value; just thought it would suit you.

In other words…

Sherlock Watson …. “I think it could work”. 

Van Coon didn’t know what the pin was worth, he told Amanda he bought it at a street market. He assumed it was worthless. Sherlock doesn’t know the value of his heart, he just wants John to have it. Van Coon dies before Amanda finds out that the pin was worth 9 million pounds. John doesn’t realise until after Sherlock’s death the value of the gift he’d been given.

(Do something while there’s still a chance, because that chance doesn’t last forever. Trust me, Sherlock: it’s gone before you know it. Before you know it)

Distractions pt 8

Pt. 1 || Pt. 2 || Pt. 3 || Pt. 4 || Pt. 5 || Pt. 6 || Pt. 7 || Pt. 8 || Pt.9 || Pt. 10 || Pt. 11 || Pt. 12

Yoongi x Reader (ft. Jimin)

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Word Count: 3551

Originally posted by k-omachi

Back and forth and back and forth…under his lids, his eyes darted back and forth until he finally woke up. Darkness blanketed the entirety of the room rendering Yoongi completely disoriented. He sat up in his bed and rubbed his forehead, his sweat left a thin layer of residue on his palm. Nothing but a pitch darkness could be seen. 

What time is it? It must be the middle of the night…

Waking during the night hours was always a problem for him. While he could easily find himself a spot and spontaneously nap virtually anywhere during the day, night was completely different. Once woken up, it was almost impossible for him to go back to sleep. He thought that talking until he was tired again was the solution. Even in the middle of the night, he’d sometimes show up at one of his other friend’s houses if none of the other members were awake. Talking did help. In fact, that was his go-to solution for years…but it only really worked well when he spoke with a certain person. 

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Brooklyn nine-nine  sentence starters 

change pronouns as fit, lots of trigger warnings ahead, taken from multiple characters

  • “Click. I just captured the exact moment you realized you had failed. I guess we all got something out of this.”
  • “I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.”
  • “People receive meaningless threats all the time. It’s really no big deal.”
  • “I’m surprised you’ve read Othello.”
  • “Well, no one asked you. It’s a self-evaluation.”
  • “We’re a package deal, everyone knows that.
  • "Oh, great! I’ll take my shirt off.”
  • “I’m in unspeakable pain.”
  • “Oh, I really came in here with the wrong energy.”
  • “I am flummoxed! That’s a word I learned for this party, and I am it!”
  • “Anyone over the age of six celebrating a birthday should go to hell.”
  • “I’d rather walk into the freezing ocean.”
  • “I remember that old bag. She was my favorite.”
  • “Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh. I’ll turn it up.”
  • “"Kind, sober and fully dressed.” Good news, everyone. We found the name of [name]’s sex tape!“
  • ” Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?“
  • "Of course. Totally. I mean, why would a death threat be a big deal? Oh, that’s right ‘cause it threatens death!”
  • “ When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, Brain, Jaw.”
  • “You don’t out grow punk, sir/ma'am.”
  • “Here, wear my shirt. I was gonna take it off anyway.”
  • “I’m really into rented clothes. I love how many butts have been in them.”
  • “ No one knows. I am a rock. I am an island. I have lapsed into song lyrics again.”
  • “Not a gift, snitch. It didn’t cost me anything. Just my worthless man hours.”
  • “Don’t remind me. I’m going to be untangling that web for a month.”
  • “And when this is over, I’m going to find you, and I’m going to break those little fingers.”
  • “Nope. I’m gonna wait 'til I’m on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately. ”
  • “I’ve only said I love you to three people. My mom, my dad and my dying [relative]. And one of those I regret.”
  • “ I’m gonna punch him so hard in the mouth that he bites his own heart.”
  • “Thank you, [name]. Your entire life is garbage.”
  • “I cannot believe that I’m considering a non-violent option.”
  • “My [erelative] always said, "Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie.” Fun fact: she/he/they made me cry a lot.“
  • "Yeah, I might buy my shoes at a kids store and yeah, I might be scared of geese, but I am a damn good [profession] and I will not be made a fool of.”
  • “I thought he was faking it. I wanted to splash the lies out of him.”
  • “Seriously, you are beautiful. If he/she/they ever lies to you again, you can call me.”
  • “Okay, just so we’re clear, from this point forward, my call sign will be Death Blade.”
  • “Yeah, I’m not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his/her/their fiber.”
  • “Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don’t give candy to a baby! They can’t brush their teeth!”
  • “ I’ve talked a lot about [name] in my departmentally-mandated therapy sessions.”
  • “You should take my minivan.”
  • “ I was working out and I saw a muscle in my shoulder I’d never seen before. I thought it might have been a scientific discovery.”
  • “Your head is so small. It is so small. Where do you keep your brains?”
  • “Probably not. I mean he/she/they seems like the kind of laid back guy/girl/person who delights in having his/her/their mistakes exposed.”
  • “ Don’t move as a group! You’re not gazelles!”
  • “I feel like a proud mama hen whose baby chicks have learned to fly!”
  • “Baby, I’ve got some bad news. Someone painted a giant penis on our minivan.”
  • “I threw away the photo because I think it’s ostentatious to hang pictures of yourself, especially when you haven’t earned a place on the wall.”
  • “I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.”
  • “So nice of you to greet us, [name]. I thought surely you’d still be crushed under that house in Munchkinland.”
  • “approval ratings are - pardon my language - in the commode.”
  • “Look at that. You’ve helped me find my smile.”
  • “That is amazingly funny.”
  • “You’re a grown man/woman/adult, [name]. Strong like an Oak.”
  • “Their components have a long shelf life, they’re cost effective, and they’re so simple a child could make them.”
  • “Dress it up however you want, that’s some disgusting animal kingdom nonsense.”
  • “So you choose your [relative] over me, your co-worker who hates you?”
  • “Every time you talk I hear that sound that plays when Pacman dies.”
  • “Honestly, I’m going to last forever. You hear that bitches? I’m gonna last forever.”
  • “My mother cried the day I was born, because she knew she would never be better than me.”
  • “All men/women/people are at least 30% attracted to me.”
  • “At any given moment, I’m thinking about one thing: [name] hunkered over eating dog food.”
  • “Turns out I gave up easy. You hear that bitches? I gave up so easy.”
  • “Mmm-kay. No hard feelings, but I hate you. Not joking. Bye.”
  • “Hi, [name], the human form of the 100 Emoji.”
  • “Hold it up. You’re gonna let some quack doctor just knife around down there?”
  • “You are blessed with a great power, and you should never snip its wings. You should let it soar.”
  • “I am prepared to light [name] on fire in protest.”
  • “After zero consideration, I’m happy to say, "hard pass.”“
  • "Sounds like a genetic disorder.”
  • “We didn’t want to say anything that would get us uninvited.”
  • “You called us useless. You called us incompetent. You called us zeroes in the sack.”
  • “Yeah, no doy. How do you think we got to be the oldest guys here?”
  • “Get your act together, or so help me God, you won’t live to see retirement.”
  • “Oh, I am as serious as a heart attack. No offense, [name].”
  • “Just drop down onto the ground and wiggle.”
  • “Who wants to have sex with a tree?”
  • “Take me to the land of vending machines.”
  • “It takes a big person to admit when they’re being a total dumb-dumb.”
  • “Can’t spill food on your shirt if you’re not wearing one.”
Reggie x Reader: The Best Woman (Part III)



ALSO, this story is heavily influenced by the movie, “Love, Rosie” in fact I will be using THE WHOLE WEDDING SPEECH in this chapter.

Very sorry for the late update we went on a short vacation and my dumbass forgot my hardrive

Plot: The one where everything that mattered remained unsaid.

Originally posted by flyngdream

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I like to think that every story is reality somewhere, and fiction is just a window to alternate realities.

I feel like Sasuke and Naruto are real people with real souls.

Every story about them -the one Kishimoto wrote, and the derivative works written by countless fans throughout the years- is, in some way rooted in distant, parallel, real alternate universes.

When one of them dies, the other waits for him in a place outside of time. When they meet in this place between lifetimes, they talk.

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Sf9 When You Hiccup During An Argument

Inseong: Not the type of boyfriend to get super angry with you anyways so in In the middle of him constantly sighing being frustrated with you, as soon as you exploded with hiccups, he might either react two ways. 1 he will try his best not to laugh but will just be like, “yah, do you want some water?”

or 2. judging you thinking you’re interrupting his side of the explanation.

Originally posted by foxyins

Youngbin: Will literally, his angry ass- walk to the kitchen to pour you a cup of water and continue explaining whatever he had to say in the argument. 

Originally posted by preciouseokwoo

Rowoon: Try his best not to laugh or giggle or even break into a smile at that very moment even when the argument was serious because once you hiccup, he will think it’s the cutest thing ever and no longer be mad at whatever you did ifeellikehisasswoulddothat

Originally posted by birthdaycakebyrihanna

Dawon: Finds it super adorable on the inside but on the outside keeps his poker face just so you know he’s genuinely mad and his headass would even reply with a “I’ll just continue my sentence whenever you’re done hiccuping.” 

Originally posted by dangchanhee

Jaeyoon: will freaking use that against you. “Omo! Looks who’s hiccuping! You know people hiccup when they’re caught in a lie! Were you really out with just the girls last night?? I think not!”

Originally posted by sf9fantasy

Zuho: Legit will be like didshejust? just sighs and like takes it as the argument is finished now and like sits/stands there in silence with you for a while then will be like, “drink some water babe.”

Originally posted by ohjuho

Taeyang: His ass is the one who tries his best to not laugh the most, cuz he finds it so funny and cute. “Yeah…soanyways…pfttt.”

Originally posted by sf9fantasy

Hwiyoung: Is legit confused. Doesn’t know how to react. Are you no longer mad at him? Should he continue his explanation while you’re hiccuping? Are you legit hiccuping, he doesnt know. 

Originally posted by sf9fantasy

Chani: “Your hiccuping” “yes I know chani..

Lowkey is still mad but tries to would pat your back from hiccuping.

Originally posted by nugutaegi