yeah that was a nice try guys

where adrien flirts
  • so adrien has a little problem: he likes marinette. like he really, honest-to-god likes her, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. his track record with girls isn’t so stellar. after he confessed his feelings to ladybug as chat noir, she calmly turned him down and admitted she liked someone else. so as nino would say, without a lady to tie him down, adrien agreste is single and ready to mingle
  • but he’s always been single?? and what does mingle even mean?? like, nino, what the hell, dude?? help a man out. 
  • so nino sits him down and explains how to get his crush. with his previous crush, nino tells him, adrien obviously didn’t do it right, and that’s why she turned him down (nino doesn’t know it was ladybug, and he just likes to think adrien was crushing on a supermodel who was totally out of even his league). 
  • nino: “you gotta flirt, man. the ladies love a dude who’s chill and cool and confident. you gotta rock it and own it. you got this.”
    adrien: “but how? every time I go to her, she looks at me, and I can’t… make my words work.”
    nino: “….you two are perfect for each other.”
    adrien: “what?”
    nino: “what?”
  • nino gives him an article with a few tips for flirting. this shouldn’t be too bad, and hey, it worked on alya, nino swears by it. so with 10 Flirting Techniques That Are Garunteed to Work on Women on his mind, adrien is determined to woo the ladies.
  • 1. set the stage with the “soft stare”: so all he had to do was stare at marinette as deeply as possible whenever they had a conversation while maintaining a calm and relaxed expression. marinette likes to stutter and stammer her ways through her words, and he couldn’t blame her, because he lost control when he tried to talk to her as well, and usually her antics made him smile and laugh. but according to the tips, he wasn’t allowed to.
  • it’s all good for a week or so, until nino pulls him aside and asks why he looks like he’s plotting how to murder marinette in her sleep like some type of serial killer every time he talks to her. 
  • he stops talking to her after that. alya tracks him down a few days later and whacks him upside the head for making her best friend cry by ignoring her. adrien goes back to talking to marinette as normally as possible after that because it’s better to talk to her as friends than invoke his “killer smile” while trying to flirt.
  • 2. be vague and leave her wanting more: adrien has this in the bag. he knows how to skirt around a topic, but that’s just because he has to make sure he kept his secret identity as a superhero of Paris a… secret. being vague is one of his best talents, it also helps with those stupid paparazzi who always follow him. the article offers some suggests: tell her you know a secret about her, tell her there’s something interesting about her and you can’t put your finger on it, tell her that’s she exactly your type but don’t tell her what you type actually is, etc. he spends most of the night plotting his exact words, and the next day, when he sees marinette, it just comes spilling out…
  • adrien: “i know your secret, marinette.”
    marinette: “…what?”
    well shit, adrien thought, the article didn’t tell him what happened after this.
    adrien: “…i know it. your secret… i knew there was something about you that i couldn’t put my finger on.”
    marinette: “…wait, so you know? ohmygodthiscan’tbehappening,ohmygod, how did you figure it out???”
  • adrien wasn’t sure what to do after this point, so like the article said, he leaves her wanting more and nopes the fuck outta there, cha-cha sliding out of the classroom and bolting down the hallway before she could catch him.
  • 3. the sensual look: once a girl is comfortable around you, give her a mischievous look that makes her think. the article (and nino) never really explain what the girl will think about, but adrien totally supports girl empowerment and helping those smart cookies get the best grades and brilliance recognition they deserve. if a mischievous smile is all it takes, then he’s more than happy to help.
  • he flashes her a quirky smirk in Madame Bustier’s lecture, marinette notices and freezes up. he thinks he did it wrong when nino just leans closer and says, “you broke marinette.”
  • adrien apologizes after class and swears he’ll never break her again. marinette just mumbles, “you can break me anytime.”
  • adrien thinks it’s counterproductive. 
  • 4. the surprise wink: whenever you pass her, just wink after you lock eyes, nino says, she won’t expect it and it’ll surprise her but give her the clear and distinct message that you are flirting with her. adrien wants marinette to know he likes her and wants to flirt with he rand wants to date her and just be with her, so he winks every time he gets. 
  • they see each other in class? wink he catches her eyes while they study for physics? wink they talk about madame bustier’s homework? wink she asks him for his opinion on her designs? wink 
  • at first, she giggles. after two weeks, she presents him with a bottle of over-the-counter artificial tears for his “eye twitch.” he stops winking after that and doesn’t talk to nino for the rest of the day.
  • 5. the playful bump: playful actions, like bumping, will definitely make a girl smile. 
  • adrien: “but nino, i could hurt her.”
    nino: “no, my dude, she knows you’re teasing.”
    adrien: “i don’t care if she knows. what if i knock her over?”
    nino: “no, you don’t do it hard, you just–”
    adrien: “what if she falls over and breaks her nose? i don’t wanna break her nose, nino. she has a cute nose.”
    nino: “adrien, you’re not gonna break her–”
    adrien: “niNO
  • 6. the understatement: understate the compliments you give her, okay, okay, adrien can do this. it’s simple.
  • adrien: “marinette, your eyes are blue… like avatar’s skin. just blue.. all over.. it’s great. not the brightest blue, but not the darkest. just blue. you have blue eyes, marinette.”
    marinette: *is speechless*
    nino: “…you nailed that, adrien.”
    adrien: “oh thanks, nino.”
  • 7. the double negative, “i don’t think you’re not beautiful”: 
    adrien: “but i do think she’s beautiful.”
    nino: “i know, you’re telling her that.”
    adrien: “but you just said i don’t think she’s beautiful?”
    nino: “no, no, you said you don’t think she’s not beautiful, so ergo you think she is beautiful.”
    adrien: “…grammar hurts my head, nino.”
    nino: “i know, my dude, i understand.”
  • 8. the sensual tease, tease her for liking you: okay, but adrien doesn’t know if marinette likes him like that? nino swears she does, and alya says so too, but it still makes him feel bad for teasing her. so he doesn’t tease her and just keeps doing stuff like he normally does, like walking her home from school and helping her study physics and giving her advice for her designs and keeping a stash of food for her on the mornings she runs late and he knows she didn’t have breakfast yet.
  • nino rolls his eyes, but adrien doesn’t care. his momma didn’t raise no hooligan. no, if he was going to flirt with marinette, at least he can be a gentleman about it.
  • 9. the moniker: giving her a cute nickname will let her know how special she is. adrien spends a week thinking about it, and nino gives him a few suggestions, but he doesn’t listen. if he’s giving marinette a nickname, it has to be something he does because it’ll let her know she’s special to him.
  • a few days later, he slips up and calls her “princess” because she’s pretty, sweet, smart, likes pink, and is a natural born leader just like a royal. marinette freezes when he calls her that, but she smiles and laughs eventually. she seems to like it, and he keeps doing it. it’s fitting, he supposes, for someone like her. marinette, his princess.
  • does that mean he gets to be her knight?
  • nino calls him a nerd.
  • 10. tell her how you feel: it’s the last step, and adrien agonizes over it for days. it can’t really be as simple as nino makes it out to be, but then again, his best friend has been dating a pretty sweet gal for months, so it obviously worked for him. adrien broods over it for a while, and alya warns him not to ignore marinette for days again, and he swears he isn’t. he’s just trying to find his courage. why oh why is it so much easier to face an akuma with certain death hanging over his head than tell a girl how he really feels?
  • marinette decides to take matters into her own hands, which he isn’t really surprised by because she usually is a head-strong, independent female. what he is surprised by is when ladybug swings into his bedroom window and transforms into marinette right before his very eyes.
  • marinette: “why are you ignoring me? did i do something wrong?”
    adrien: *adrien.exe has stopped working*
    marinette: “…adrien?”
    adrien: “…you’re… ladybug?!”
    marinette: “yeah, i know. you know. we’ve been over this–”
    adrien: “nononoNO, we most certainly haven’t.”
    marinette: *marinette.exe has stopped working*
    adrien: “…marinette?”
    marinette: “I… but you said you knew my secret.”
    adrien: “I WAS BEING VAGUE.”
    marinette: “WHY?!”
    adrien: “IVE BEEN FLIRTING WITH YOU.”
    marinette: “…you have?”
    adrien: “well, i was trying–”
  • plagg: *pops out of adrien’s pocket* “oh, are we trading secrets?”
    tikki: *pops out of marinette’s bag* “I think so?”
    plagg: *holds out paw to marinette* “fine. im plagg, i turn him into chat noir. nice to finally meet you. i’m glad you guys are finally telling each other, it’s been so tiring listening to him mooning over you. do you have any cheese?”
    marinette: “…you’re chat noir?”
    adrien: *dies*

so marinette and adrien are dating now, so in a way he thinks his plan worked? that doesn’t stop marinette from asking him how he thought he’d been flirting, so he tells her nino’s tips. she laughs for a week straight. that’s the last time he ever listens to nino.

an adrien version of this post. some people asked for an adrien version, it’s not directly a sequel, but still another au. just two nerds trying to flirt and failing spectacularly. 

SKAM S04E10 Clip 3 - Jonas

JONAS: Once, he forgot to bring his bike so I had to..

EMMA: You had to..?

JONAS: I had to take..

EMMA: You had to take his bike?

JONAS: But I’ll text you.

EMMA: Yeah. We will.

JONAS: Yeah.

EMMA: Where are you going?

JONAS: To the A-building.

EMMA: Okay.

JONAS: And you?

EMMA: To the B-building.

Keep reading

Be More Chill Characters as Explained By My 23 yr Old Brother

He was shown a few pictures and has minimal knowledge of the plot and characters. The result was beautiful.

JEREMY: This… this Where’s Waldo looking twink. He has a desk in an overhead light so he’s probably somewhat important. He’s lonely because all of his friends are gay and he’s not– until the end. He’s gay for the other guy at the end. Probably looks up Dear Evan Hansen fan fiction– Im like 80% sure. He wishes his life were more than just lamenting over his waifus.

SQUIP: Oh god where is his arm- is this one Michael? He’s coming onto that other guy hard so that has to be Michael. -picture switched- oh no that’s the villain- thats a fucking villain pose. That’s a batman villain looking out over his henchman, this robby rotten motherfucker. That’s the drug? He’s like Tim Curry from Fern Gully but instead of pollution he makes people gay and horny.

MICHAEL: Shit his lips are so pink- if that isn’t a main focus or an arch this is written wrong. He’s gay, so I assume this one is Michael and he’s perfect and everyone loves him. He’s essentially the gay guy from Scott Pilgrim and he’s all of the fanfic author’s fantasies come true.

CHRISTINE: Generically sweet– wait this was written by a man, right? Yeah- Then yeah, generically nice. I’m split between “is the voice of reason” and “gets super corrupted by drug and thats the breaking point”  

RICH: I assume he’s a bit dorky. He’s Trying to stand out to impress sexy gym people and gets fucked up because of it.

JAKE: This guy- This fucking Disney Channel protagonist– he pretends to have sex with all the girls so hard it breaks his legs, but he really broke them because of little buff man. He’s the sexy gym people.

CHLOE: Brunette is popular- very very bi. Bitchy heathers vibe. probably a love interest

BROOKE: Also bi. She’s supportive and probably talks the other one into doing shit like “Hey wanna make out?” They do because Tumblr would love that.

Beat    are they sisters    No they’re best-    oh thank god

JENNA: She’s the pop culture bitch that makes a bunch of references and doesn’t leave you alone. enough said.


Bonus-

in response to the picture of squipped Jake: Jock who fucked tiny buff guy is scaring other couple because they are gayer. He is high on the robby rotten tic tac. Gay couple is terrified – but mystified – by crutch flight power up.

Each prologue in a nutshell

Jedi Knight: 

“I hit that guy so hard he was impressed with my skill and asked if I needed his services”

Jedi Consular:

“Yuon no”

“Yuon yes!”

Smuggler:

“One second everything was fine, and then that GTA fan ran off with my precious baby and some guy’s gun. Please, Corso, he won’t hurt your blaster. At least, a blaster can’t be crashed, but a ship can. I’m so nervous”

Trooper:

“Haha, funny, nice one, April Fools Day, right? Yeah? Damn, it’s May”

Sith Warrior:

“I came here to complete my training, but instead I got into some high school drama, and we’re trying to find out who’s the most popular sith in the Academy. Hey, Vette, I have your vote, right?”

Sith Inquisitor:

“My whole life has been some hell, but it’s about to change now that I have this big bloodthirsty, grumpy and constantly nostalgic scary guy who eats people. My very first friend”

Imperial Agent:

“Oh yeah, I’m that famous pirate. I do a lot of… pirating… stuff. Oh, you think I’m an impostor? Well, maybe that’s the Red Blade YOU have met was an impostor! I bet he’s jealous I’m prettier than him”

Bounty Hunter:

“I left for FIVE minutes, and now everyone is dead because of some dude who has no taste in make-up whatsoever, and the big worm gave the token to some lizard instead of me, what are the odds?”

Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris in the library
  • Eric: "Get up!"
  • Dylan: "GET UP!"
  • Eric: "Stand up right now or we'll blow your fucking heads off!"
  • Dylan: "Fine I'll start shooting then..." (shoots Velasquez) "Woohoo!"
  • Dylan: "All jocks stand up... white baseball cap"
  • Eric: "Pigs are here..." (begins firing out the window)
  • Dylan: (shoots Hall, Ireland, Steepleton) "Yahoo!"
  • Patti Nielson: "our father... who art in heaven.. hallowed be thy name"
  • Dispatcher: "ma'am, you need to forget about praying right now. What's happening there?"
  • Nielson: "They're in here.. they're killing kids... I have to go." (drops phone)
  • Eric: (kills Curnow) "Die! Motherfucker!"
  • Dylan: "WOO!"
  • Kasey Ruegsegger: (after being shot by Eric) "Oh!"
  • Eric: "Stop your bitching! It's merely a flesh wound,"
  • Dylan: (laughing hysterically)
  • Eric: "Peek-a-boo" (kills Bernall)
  • Dylan: (shoots Ireland) "Die! ...down on the floor!"
  • Dylan: "REB?"
  • Eric: "Yeah?"
  • Dylan: "hey, man... there's a nigger over here."
  • Eric: "shoot him"
  • Dylan: "SHIT YEAH!"
  • Shoels: "no...no...no...mom!"
  • (Shoels and Kechter killed)
  • (CO2 bomb detonates)
  • Valeen Schnurr: "oh my god... help me..."
  • Eric: "do you believe in God?"
  • Valeen: "no..yes..."
  • Dylan: "Why?"
  • Eric: "God is gay."
  • John TOmlin: "Don't... done enough?"
  • (shots fired)
  • Dylan: "You think we've done enough?" (laughing)
  • Eric: "nice glasses" (shots fired.. sounds of a scuffle.. shots fired again.. Mauser killed)
  • Dylan: "was he trying to jump you?"
  • Eric: "Yeah"
  • (shots fired... DePooter killed)
  • Dylan: "Look what we have here..."
  • Eric: "What?"
  • Dylan: "just some fat fuck"
  • Dylan: "give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you."
  • Evan Todd: "I don't want to get into trouble"
  • Dylan: "Trouble! You don't know what trouble is..."
  • Evan Todd: "That's not what I mean... I don't have a problem with you guys..."
  • Dylan: "I'm going to let this fat fuck live... little fat fucking piece of shit... you can have him if you want."
  • Eric: "Let's go to the commons"
  • Dylan: "One more thing" (sound of something smashing)
  • Dylan: "Reb, ya ready?"
Confrontations

Based off of @letkeithinfodump’s lovely Langst post

Do Not Tag As Sh/@nce or Sh/e!th or any other Sh@/adin ships


Lance could feel himself start to shake as Shiro had announced to them who he chose to lead Voltron in case he couldn’t.

It was Keith.

Lance took a breath and balled up his fist. He swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to blink away the stinging in his eyes as he stared at the floor.

Why should he even be surprised? It’s not as though he couldn’t see Shiro’s obvious bias towards Pidge and Keith. He knew that it wasn’t their fault or that they meant to be favored but it stung and he was getting increasingly frustrated at this.

Lance bit his lip before taking another deep breath and trying to calm himself down before catching Shiro’s shoulder when he told them to disperse.

“Shiro? Can I talk to you about something?” Lance asked

“Uh, yeah sure, about what?”

Another breath. “I wanted to talk to you about choosing Keith as the back-up leader.”

Shiro quirked a brow, Lance could tell he was going to have a hard time with this.

“Well you see Shiro…Keith…Keith isn’t a good choice for leader,” Lance had to fight to keep eye contact with Shiro, “you see he’s…impulsive and a hot-head. He’s a nice guy but he’s put us all in danger on numerous occasions beause he didn’t follow an order and he voted to leave Allura behind and-!” Lance could feel his confidence rise but Shiro raised a hand to silence him.

“Lance, I understand your concern but I’ve made my decision already.”

Shiro turned around and left Lance there with his anger festering and his pride hurt even more than before.

He ignored him.

Again.

Lance bit into his lip so hard it felt like it might draw blood. He felt the familiar sting at the back of his eyes and the heat on his neck. He blinked his vision in and out of focus as he felt his body shake with anger.

Lance was the only one left in the console room, so his voice echoed and bounced back to him with just as much disappointment and anger it had when the words left his lips.

You’re not the you I thought you were.”


The next time Lance brings it up is when he’s hardened his attitude towards Shiro’s behaviour. He knows it’s not exactly his fault but the way he brushes Lance off is unacceptable and this time, Lance is Not Having It.

“Shiro.” Lance walked up to Shiro, he rather have missed all of the break between training than have to keep in his feelings.

Shiro turned around and sighed, “Lance, look, I know-” but this time it was Lance who cut Shiro off.

“No Shiro, you look.” Lance took one big breath before starting, “I understand that you are the leader and that you were thrown into this by yourself, but you see, you are extremely biased towards Pidge and Keith and honestly, I just can’t let that stand anymore man.”

Lance paused to see Shiro blinking in stunned silence, he took this as his cue to continue.

“Shiro, I understand that you know Keith the best and probably know what he’s capable of. But your making him stressed because your expectations of him are too damn high and you have to accept that there are things that not even Keith can do- nothing wrong with that Keith, it’s ok that you can’t- but instead you just say “I believe in you” and you tell him to basically change everything about himself so he can act like a good-…no I mean, so he can act like you. Shiro, you can’t expect that to magically fix anything!

Lance took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts before proceeding onto his next topic, “Do you even talk to Hunk ever?”

“Well-” Shiro began

“Outside of giving orders? Do you ever ask, ‘Hey Hunk, how was your day? Did you do anything new?’ Because as far as I know, all you can say to him is ‘Hunk, shoulder canon.’, ‘Hunk, you go with whoever on this mission to retrieve whatever.’, sometimes you can’t even address him directly! It’s just ‘Legs, do this!’ You don’t actually talk to him Shiro.”

“I…”

“Also? Isn’t Allura the technical leader of Voltron? She actually knows Zarkon. She actually knows the aliens that we fight and that we talk to. Why are you acting as though you know this stuff? Even if Allura doesn’t know, most of the time Coran knows so he should also be consulted.”

“Yes, well I-”

“Not only that, but you didn’t consult anyone else when deciding Keith would be the Black Paladin. You didn’t check with Keith on how he felt about that, and even then he told you himself and you ignored it. What’s worse is that you didn’t even consult with your lion, the one Keith would be the pilot of. How do you know if she was okay with this? How do you know if this is what she wants?”

Shiro fell silent, it seems that this was the one that made him crack.

He felt a presence next to him and he fixed his stubborn gaze from Shiro to Keith.

Lance was getting ready to argue with Keith when the red paladin turned from Lance to Shiro and said, “Lance is right, Shiro.”

Lance blinked confusedly as Keith continued on, “You don’t listen to him at all. Remember the Blade of Marmora? You didn’t listen to Lance, and I nearly got myself killed. Granted, I wanted to go but… the point still stands.” Keith crossed his arms as he finished his argument.

Lance felt a warm hand on his shoulder as he looked to see Hunk sending him an appreciative look before agreeing with the fire and ice paladins.

One by one, everyone from the Team Voltron stood behind or near Lance and agreed with him.

“Shiro.”

Shiro looked up from the linoleum tiles, seemingly ready to get criticized once more.

“What do you say?”

Shiro closed his eyes as he took in a deep breath before opening them once more and looking around the small group of people. “…and all of you feel this way?”

There was a small murmur of agreement and short little nods.

Shiro sighed, “You’re right Lance. I wasn’t thinking about anyone else but my own beliefs and bias.”

He turned to the two alteans to his left.

“I’m sorry for not consulting you on matters I know you would have more knowledge on. I…I tried to think that just because I lead Voltron I know everything but…not really.”

Shiro continued on down the line of paladins.

“Lastly, Lance…I’m sorry. You were right and….I was ignoring you. Thank you for pointing this out to me and…I know it was probably hard but…I’m proud of you.”


About two weeks later Shiro went to the Black Lion and asked if she would be willing to pick a backup to pilot her in case something happened to Shiro.

She said yes so, all the paladins (+Allura and Coran) would stand in front of her and allow her large, wisdom filled eyes to scrutinize them.

When Lance stepped in front of her he felt as though every crevice in his mind and soul was being checked and scrutinized. Before long, the Black Lion’s eyes started to glow.

She did it. She found her back-up paladin.

Lance.

Hunk’s and Pidge’s cheers could be heard in the background as they whooped and hollered at Lance.

Lance felt waves of pride crash over him, before feelings of anxiety and guilt replace them.

But what about Blue?

Lance looked to the Alteans, knowing that the other paladins wouldn’t be able to fill out his spot without creating a new spot in Voltron needed to be filled. He played with the idea of Blue Paladin Allura, and while she could certainly fill out the spot with ease, he knows that she’s the pilot of the castleship, and if her was honest, that was a lot harder to replace than the pilots of Voltron.

Before announcing his decision he used his connection to the Blue Lion to ask her about if that was okay or not. She said it was fine so long as it wasn’t permanent and she could have Lance back. Lance smiled, Don’t worry my lady, you’re my one and only. He told her before turning to the alteans.

Coran.”

“Yes, Lance?”

Will you be the back up Blue Paladin?

anonymous asked:

Hey! From that huge au list that you said you were accepting prompts on, could you possibly do stucky, the "I hit you with my car and I'm the only one who visited at the hospital, you okay?" with steve being the one hit by the car? It's a sick day for me and it feels like I've exhausted all good fanfiction... you're my only hope!

“Which flower arrangement says ‘I’m very sorry for running you over in my car’?” Bucky asks into his phone, frantically looking between an arrangement with tulips and an orchid.

There’s a long pause, then Natasha asks very level, very calm, “James?”

“Yes?”

“What did you do?” she asks in that same, calm voice.

“I RAN SOMEONE OVER WITH MY CAR,” Bucky yells. “I JUST SAID THAT.”

“Excuse me sir,” says the little old woman shopping next to him.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry for yelling,” Bucky says. “I’ll be quiet.”

“No, no, dear, that’s not the issue,” she says.

“Oh, then am I in your way?” he asks.

“No, it’s just that I’m about to leave the store, and drive home. I’m hoping that you’ll give me a few minutes’ head start before you leave, too.”

He nods and smiles at the old lady, then goes back to his phone. “I wish I were dead,” he says, still smiling.

“Daffodils are nice,” Natasha says.

— —

It’s probably presumptuous to go visit the guy you hit with your cat in the hospital and Bucky’s pretty sure that if his insurance company knew about Bucky going over there they’d be pissed, but you can’t just run someone over with your car and not visit them in the hospital. That’d just be bad form.

Bad form like not stopping all the way at a stop sign and grazing the pedestrian who is crossing the street.

He knocks on the door. “Uh, hi,” he says, looking at the guy laying in bed.

The guy sits up a little, then winces. “Hi,” he says. “You lost?”

“No, at least… I don’t think so. You’re Steve Rogers?” The guy nods. “Okay, well, I’m Bucky Barnes and I maybe sort of hit you with my car,” he says, hiding behind the bouquet of daffodils a little. He peeks out from behind it. “Sorry about that,” he adds.

The guy snorts. “Believe it or not, it’s not the first time I’ve been hit by a car,” he says, “and you just tapped me.” He shrugs. “Honestly, I wouldn’t even be in here if it weren’t for my pre-existing conditions.” He perks up a little. “Are those for me?” he asks, looking at the flowers.

“Yeah,” Bucky says, walking forward towards the bed and holding the flowers out to Steve. “They are! They’re… daffodils.”

“I’m horribly allergic,” Steve says, grinning. “Gimme.”

“But you’re—“

“Already in the hospital,” Steve says, taking the flowers and smelling them. The yellow looks nice with his soft blond hair and it’s kind of cute when his thick black frame glasses slip down his nose while he sniffs. “Wow! These are great.”

“I’m glad you like them,” Bucky says, trying not to blush because the guy he ran over with his car is really stinking cute.

“Thanks for coming,” Steve says.

“Oh, uh,” Bucky says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “It was the least I could do.”

“I’m I the hospital so much that my friends don’t even notice at this point, so it’s nice to have some company.” He’s still holding the flowers, and looks down at them again like he can’t believe he really has them, and Bucky wonders why his friends wouldn’t come visit him in the hospital when he is obviously the most adorable dork in all of New York City. He looks back up at Bucky. “You want some pudding?” he asks. “I have some extra.”

— —

Two years later and Steve feeds Bucky a spoonful of pudding. “Yum,” Bucky says, smacking his lips together.

“I can’t believe you convinced the caterers to serve pudding,” Steve says, grinning.

“You know how some couples have special songs or places?” Bucky asks.

Steve nods. “Yeah,” he says.

“Well, our dessert is pudding,” he says.

Steve rolls his eyes. “I can’t believe you,” Steve says.

“And I still can’t believe that you agreed to marry some guy who ran you over with his car,” Bucky says.

Steve shrugs. “You didn’t have enough money to be worth suing,” he says. “And,” he adds, “you only grazed me.”

Bucky grins, leans in and kisses his new husband.

“And you grazed me with your love,” he says. “Same thing.”

“Not at all!” Steve squeaks and Bucky laughs and around them their friends and family dance awkwardly to a mediocre DJ and they’re husbands now, and Bucky will never, ever, run over anyone else for the rest of his life.

anonymous asked:

could I request friends to lovers for yoongi 😩😩😩 I love this boy so much and I loVe ur writing thank u queen of everything

thank u omg!!!! also i had a really good idea for yoongi and this au bless u!!
find jimin (here) ~

  • how do i put this nicely,,,,,,,,you and yoongi,,,,,,are both,,,,what the rest of bangtan refer to as evil masterminds
  • because apparently you and yoongi have schemed jungkook out of his snacks so many times that jungkook assumed a ghost was haunting the dorm and stealing his brownie packs when No it was just you and yoongi ,,,,,,using video games to distract him while also taking whatever snacks jungkook holed up in the closet 
  • you actually met yoongi because you were both buying chicken skewers at a stand and you’d been short three bucks so you were trying to explain that your cat chewed up your money back home and you were just soOO hungry
  • and yoongi was trying not to laugh his ass off while he was waiting but in the end,,,,,,he’d paid for both your food and you’d been suspicious because why,,,,,,,,,was this random guy being nice to you
  • but yoongi was just like “i have respect for people who make up bizarre stories to get what they want.”
  • and you were like AHEM it’s true my cat,,,,,,did try to eat my money and yoongi had just lifted his eyebrow like really and you were like yeah,,,,,,,,,,,,ok maybe not but ,,,,,,,whatever
  • and since then,,,,,you guys would see each other in the street and for a while he called you ‘the one with the money eating cat’ but then you learned each others actual names and well,,,,,,a beautiful friendship formed
  • on mutual scheming and also,,,,,you guys just fit really well together because neither of you are high maintenance at ALL like you hang out once every two freakin weeks. yoongi is appreciative of that
  • but one day you text yoongi and you’re like “there’s a new catering place and they said that if you’re engaged you and your spouse can try all their samples for FREE. wanna be fake married with me for an hour?”
  • and yoongi, upon reading food + free was like yeah im in let’s go
  • when you meet you’re like yoongi, here i got these fake rings from a claw machine game put them on and he’s like oh my god you really prepared for this,,,,,, and you’re like yeah we have to be convincing ok????? we’re both good actors so let’s do this
  • and yoongi shrugs but suddenly takes your hand in his and you’re like ?? and he’s like “we’re married, remember?” and you’re like yeah, ofc!! right,,,,,
  • and as you walk inside one of the planners greets you but you’re just like,,,,,honestly my husband and i would just like to see your entrees,,,,,,and taste them i heard it’s ? Free?
  • and the lady is like yep!! right this way and,,,,,,oh my god it’s like food out of a restaurant and when you look up at yoongi you can see his eyes sparkling and you’re just like hONEY which one,,,,,,should we try first????
  • and yoongi clears his throat and is like oh,,,um,,,well,,,uh,,,,which one do you want the most ,,,,,,,baby?”
  • and you’re both looking at each other and trying not to laugh and the lady is like ???? um,,,,hello??
  • and you’re both like WELL WE MIGHT AS WELL TRY EVERYTHING
  • and you do,,,,,,,oh you guys do,,,,,,,,you’re in there for like a good hour and a half until you’re like “,,,,,,,this was all very good me and my husband need to speak about our decision ,,,,,,,outside give us a minute?”
  • and the lady is like !!!!!! sure,,,,,btw you two are such a sweet couple!!! you guys were feeding each other and everything ive never seen two more compatible people
  • and you and yoongi are looking at her like O__O ,,,,,,oh,,,,,,,thanks
  • but you tug yoongi away and as you’re outside you’re like ok let’s make a run for it till she figures out we’re fakes LOL
  • and yoongi is like true true,,,,but without letting go of your hand he pulls you down the street and toward the subway and once you’re safe ,,,on your way back home
  • your hands,,,,,,are still,,,,,,well you’re still holding onto each other,,,,
  • and you’re like “yoongi,,,,,” and he’s like “oh, do you want me to let go?” and you’re like NO that’s not it,,,,,,but,,,,,,,,are you thinking about what she said????
  • and yoongi’s like “oh that we’re compatible? she’s right, we are.”
  • you look up at him and you’re like ???? what??? you think so and he’s like yeah,,,,,,i mean who else but me and you would pretend to be fake married for food
  • to which you’re like hmmm true,,,,,,but also you’re like,,,,,,,yoongi,,,,,,i want you to keep the ring i know it’s fake but you can have it
  • and yoongi is like chuckling and he’s like “of course im keeping it. we’re married, i can’t take it off.” and you’re like YOONGI and he’s like ok ok married might be taking it too far but it’s our first couple item right?
  • and you’re like COUPLE??!?!?? but also,,,,,, you can’t help but smile and yoongi catches it and puts his hand near his mouth to hide his own grin
  • and the train gets to your stop and yoongi gets up with you and you’re like don’t you have three more to go and he’s like “im going to walk you home,,,,,,it’d be rude if your boyfriend didn’t make sure you got home safe.”
  • you: boyfriend?
  • yoongi: husband?
  • you: ADGFKDSD MIN YOONGI PLEASE
SKAM 4.03 Clip 1 - Inshallah

[ELIAS: What’s that, bro? What are you doing?
YOUSEF: Throw it to me, throw it to me, throw it to me!]
SANA: Hello.
MOM: Hi, honey.
[The guys talking over each other]
SANA: Where’s dad?
MOM: At La Mocca.
MUTASIM: Let’s kick the ball, play with our feet.
MOM: There were a lot of people asking for you at the Friday prayer.
SANA: Oh yeah, uh, I was supposed to go, but I couldn’t make it.
MOM: No. But it’s been a while?
SANA: It’s not been that long. Why don’t you ever say that to Elias? He’s never at Friday prayers.
MOM: No, well… Elias is just as ditzy as your father. While the two of us, we’re more focused. Don’t you agree?
SANA: I’ll be there next Friday.
MOM: We’re going to Mahmoud’s wedding next Friday. Do you wanna come?
SANA: No, thank you. I think I’ll pass.
MOM: So what did you do yesterday?
SANA: Yesterday?
MOM: Mhmm.
SANA: I just hung out with Noora and Eva and them. But do you need any help cooking?
MOM: You want to help me cook?
SANA: No, not really.
MOM: No, not really? Honestly, what are you gonna do when you get married? Are you going to let your children starve?
SANA: No. My husband is gonna cook.
MOM: Your husband is gonna cook. Huh. Insha’allah.
MOM: (answers phone) Hello? Hi.
[Switches the radio from the news to music]
YOUSEF: Hi.
SANA: Hi!
YOUSEF: I’m just getting something to drink.
[Switches the channel on the radio again]
YOUSEF: Do you need any help?
SANA: Huh? No.
YOUSEF: Listen.. I don’t want to be rude, but you’re doing it all wrong. Like.. Totally wrong.
SANA: Alright?
YOUSEF: Should I show you?
SANA: Okay..
YOUSEF: You have to drag it towards yourself, not push it away, okay? Because then you don’t have control over the carrot. Drag it towards yourself. Then you turn it over and do the other side.

Keep reading

The Fitting (Part 13)

(Secrets are getting harder to keep and Jungkook’s jealousy and insecurity are taking a toll on him.) 

Warnings:  9500+ words.  Oral. Intercourse.  A little more realism than I think some people will be expecting.  


You didn’t want him.  At least not tonight.

 That thought rattled through Jungkook’s mind as he sat in the back of the taxi on his way home.  You had refused him because you wanted to be alone.  Because you weren’t in the mood.  Jungkook closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the seat while he tried to process what had just happened.  You had refused him before, when you were worried about being caught by others at work, but you always made arrangements to sleep with him later.  Tonight was different.  Tonight you refused him, not because you were afraid of being seen, but because you simply didn’t want him.

 It wasn’t supposed to be this way.  Jungkook had planned this first date so carefully, making sure to take you to an out of the way neighborhood so you could relax and not worry about being seen.  He picked the most expensive restaurant in that neighborhood for dinner because he wanted to show you he could appreciate the finer things, that he had money to spend on you, that he wanted to treat you like you were special.  He read dozens of movie reviews before picking that stupid, boring foreign film where everyone was rambling on with lengthy speeches about god-knows-what and all the money was spent on costumes and none on special effects.  

He hated those kinds of movies, but he knew you loved them and the most important thing was that you have a good time.  And you really did seem to be having a good time.  

 Meeting your cousin had been an unexpected hiccup at the beginning of the night – but Jungkook was actually grateful for it.  Although the interaction was uncomfortably awkward, meeting her meant that the relationship was one step closer to being public.  One person close to you now knew your secret.  Jungkook anxiously awaited the day when everyone close to the both of you knew that you were a couple.

Keep reading

707mmgirl  asked:

I was wondering if you could do a NSfw where the rfa+v and saeran are having sex with mc for thw first time and they orgasm too fast and are afraid that they'd disappoint MC?

(  ˵¯͒⌄¯͒˵;;) I couldn’t sleep so I really…Really…Wanted to write this. Thought about it all day.


Yoosung

- He was losing it mentally. His hands were sweaty, his chest was beating

- He wasn’t going to lie, he had jerked off quite a bit before…Especially when LOLOL introduced that new female skin….

- But never much more than that! God, he was too scared to even get a sex toy- Too scared and embarrassed to even entertain the thought!

- He tried asking Zen for tips, even resorted to asking Seven. But Seven laughed and Zen said to look up some porn videos to get an idea because he was too busy to help

- (Or was he just sour MC didn’t fall for him?)

- When you came out of the bathroom in your pjs, he was already trying not to get a stiffy. I mean, what you were wearing wasn’t horrible, wasn’t perverted, but…You weren’t wearing a bra. Even he could tell that

- And the fact that tonight would be the first time you shared a bed together…

- “Yoosung?”

- “Y-Yes??”

_ “…Are you going to come lay down? It’s cold without you~”

- This was it, he was going to die. Someone get his will from that coffee fiasco out, he was going to need it after tonight.

- Carefully, he climbed into bed behind you, opting to try and be the big spoon and hold you tight.

-…Too tight, too tight! Your ass was rubbing against his groin so nicely. He ended up burying his face in your hair, desperate just to pretend he didn’t feel it.

- “Yoosung, are you alright?”

- “Yeah, yeah- I, uhm. I am.”

- “So you’re not hard-”

- “Don’t say it!!”

- Oh my god, this is it. You were going to make fun of him endlessly, just like the guys would when they found out. 

- You turned around to face his red face, and right when he thought it wasn’t going to get again worse, you slipped your hands around and squeezed his ass, pulling his hips flush against yours

- He. Couldn’t. Breathe.

- He felt you start kissing his neck, grinding against him, and he could only whimper in response. This isn’t how he thought it was going to happen- I mean, he was supposed to take the lead, right?? Right??

- But you slipped your hand in his sweat pants, letting out a lustful groan as you found he wasn’t wearing underwear, and he lost it

- You pulled your hand back and looked at the cum on your fingers, before looking him right in the eye and licking your hand clean

- Were you trying to kill him???

- “MC I’m sosososorry, oh my god-”

- “That’s okay, Yoosung,” You grabbed his hand, guiding it under your underwear, “Why don’t you show me what those gaming fingers can do?”

- God, please someone print out that will. He really was going to need it after tonight.

Jaehee

- So she wasn’t as innocent as everyone thought she was

-…But she was still blushing like crazy

- A cuddling session gushing over a dirty story you found online had turned sexual very quickly. Mainly due to your wandering hand, but…

- Now she was under you, one hand halfway covering her face, and the other gripped your arm as your teased her clit

- Every time she let out a squirming moan, her chest heaved and you swore you were in heaven

- You didn’t waste much time with foreplay. The two of you hadn’t really gone this far before, and this poor woman needed some excitement in her life that didn’t end in cat hair everywhere

- You couldn’t take it anymore, you slowly licked her nipple, then clamped your teeth over it, loving her surprised moan.

- “M-Mc!”

- You gave her nipple a harsh suck, your fingers trailing down from her clit to her entrance, slipping in two fingers already.

- You walls clamped down, her nails digging into your forearm already. She was sweating, chest heaving, but you knew all the right spots to hit.

- As your mouth bit on her neck, her moans kept getting higher and higher in pitch, until her nails dug in so harshly that you knew you were going to need a few bandages later.

- You felt her hips jerk up a few times, her whimpering when you kept trying to fuck her with your fingers, so you slowly pulled out.

- “Did you cum already?”

- She let out a groan, covering her face. “Yes, I’m sorry. It’s been a while.”

- You just laughed, kissing her forehead. 

- “I mean… I could be my turn, if you really loved meee~”

- She rolled her eyes but laughed, motioning for you to switch spots with her.

Seven

- The two of you were resting on the couch, just cuddling, until his fingers liiightly brushed against your sides, and you made the mistake of giggling

- Now it was On

- First thing about being friends with Seven: Never, ever, let him find out where you’re ticklish.

- He had you squealing and threatening him at the same time, squirming in between his legs as he laughed at you.

- Pretty soon you started fighting back- Turning around and desperate to find his ticklish spots. 

- But, after a while of squirming in eachother’s arms, he accidentally let out a moan that was not painful

- You stopped, and the both of you blushed… But, you just placed a questioning kiss on his lips.

- “R-really? Right here?”

- You nodded, already moving to start palming him through his pants, and he automatically started working on pulling off your shirt

- He groaned as you unzipped his pants, palming him through his boxers. He tried returning the favor, squeezing your breasts through your bra.

- But you slipped to the floor and got on your knees? What where you- Oh my god you were going to blow him

-Oh…My god.

- He watched with a growing blush as you tugged on his pants to be able to pull his hardening cock out easier. He watched your eyes widen just a bit when you pulled it out, him mentally fist pumping that he was a good enough size for you

- He wanted to lean back- Play it cool and just enjoy it, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You brushing your hair behind your ear, getting a decent grip on his cock, your half-lidded eyes studying the head. He could feel the pre-cum leaking out already, and he prayed you thought that was normal.

- You gave his cock a few tentative pumps, him trying his fucking best not to jerk his hips up, and then suddenly you took the tip in your mouth.

- He couldn’t hold it back, he ended up letting a low whimper out, his fingers itching to tangle themselves in your hair, but god he managed to keep them away.

- You bobbed your head a bit, removing the cock from your mouth with an obscene ‘pop’, looking him right in the eyes as you licked up the underside of his cock

- …And he came all over your face

- It was slightly, just a bit, adorable at how you winced, but he felt his soul leave his damn body. Damnit, he knew he should have jerked off last night when he had the chance.

- “Oh my god, Mc I’m so–” 

- You wiped a bit off your cheek, slipping your finger in your mouth and letting out a hum. “You taste a bit bitter…”

- Instantly he pulled you up on the couch, sucking and nipping at your neck as you moaned a bit.

- He really, really, needed to know how you tasted as well. And, well….Hopefully that would make up for him being such a quick shot.

Jumin

- The marriage had been sweet, and ended with lots of cuddling on a plane as the two of you went to enjoy your honeymoon, something Jumin was very insistent on.

- As soon as the two of you landed, it was getting changed into something more appropriate, going off and enjoying the sites, having a nice romantic dinner

- And now the two of you finally made it to the place you were staying at for the next week. With just one bed in the room.

- He didn’t want to admit he felt nervous- What if he harmed you? What if he did so many things you didn’t enjoy? Expert Playboy only told him so much, and he wasn’t too keen on watching porn. Especially if Seven had his hands in the RFA’s search history.

- The two of you dressed in your sleepwear, then he coaxed you over to lay with him.

- Getting to finally hold you in his arms like this was amazing. He felt his chest swell every time you snuggled closer to him.

- “Mc?”

- “Yes, honey?”

- He gave your forehead a kiss at the nickname, his cheeks lightly blushing. “From my research, we’re not completely done for the day yet, are we?”

- Your face went red, but he started with gentle kisses to your lips, moving to your jaw, then to your neck, his fingers dancing around the hem of your shirt.

- Your breath hitched a couple of times, but you started working on unbuttoning his shirt, groaning when his hands started groping your breasts

- God, this felt amazing so far, from just barely doing the minimum. He focused on recalling all the tips in the magazine, some of the grosser things some board members had talked about drunk- Just anything he could apply to please you

- It wasn’t long before you were fully on your back, breasts heaving as he teased your clit, his boxers the only clothing left on him

- The way your cheeks flushed looking at his cock straining against his boxers made him want to take you instantly, but he needed to be patient, he needed to hold out a bit longer.

- But you gently squeezed his forearm, mewling a bit as he kept trying to rub your clit

- “Ju-Jumin, please, I want to feel your cock- I’m ready, just please.”

- He felt his eyes widen, but quickly cleared his throat and nodded, pulling his boxers off

- He teased you a bit more, the head of his cock barely entering you and pulling back out, making you let out the cutest whines. But finally, when he couldn’t even stand it anymore, he pushed himself fully inside of you, groaning along with you

- He stayed still for a moment, feeling how amazing it was to have you squeezing him so tightly. He tried to move, just one pump, but it was too much.

- As soon as he realized what had happened, his face was completely red, and he felt so ashamed when you let out a little questioning noise.

- “It…It seems that I’ve…” He trailed off, suddenly pissed at himself for cumming so damn early. You didn’t even get to enjoy anything.

- But you just squeezed his hand, placing a kiss on his cheek.

- “If you want…You could just use your fingers for tonight, tomorrow we could try-”

- “No, we’re doing this right tonight. I told you I would keep you up all nigh- I’m not going back on that now.”

- While he did finally get rid of his shame at how much you squirmed from his fingers alone, he promised himself that he was going to make you cum twice as much from his cock alone.

- (What the fuck did those magazines say about this situation???)

Zen

- You had been trying for ages to get him to have sex with you. 

- Inviting him in the shower? ‘Accidentally’ letting him walk in on you? Snuggling super close during a romance scene? All of them failed.

- And god, did he hate it.

- He wanted to fuck you, have you screaming his name so loud he was sure to get noise complaints- But was he ready??

- It had been a very, very, long time since he had, ahem, let the beast out. The last time was…Way too long ago.

- But all the teasing, and bluntness without saying anything, was starting to get to him. Starting to have his hand wandering when you weren’t there with him, and a few times when you were.

- Tonight was a bit better. You weren’t trying to throw more ‘hints’ his way, you were just snuggled up to him resting your head on his chest, tracing an imaginary circle on his ribs

- Yeah, he could handle this!

- But your fingers stopped, and you started to play with his hair a bit instead, making cute little noises as you shifted to look up at him

- “Your princess wants some kisses.”

- Oh no. He felt his cock twitch, but he tried his best to ignore it as he tipped your chin up, planting a soft kiss on your lips.

- “I can’t help but do as my princess wants~”

- But you pulled him back towards you, planting a few soft kisses, and then slowly making them more and more greedy.  You even slipped your tongue in, and when he groaned out he knew he was done for.

- He wanted to avoid sex at the moment, but tonight he didn’t have enough willpower.

- He grabbed your shoulders, pushing you to lay on your back as he slipped between your legs, leaning over to start sucking on your neck.

- You didn’t waste a second, especially since you had been trying to get to this point for ages. You wrapped your legs around his waist, grinning when he grinded against you with a low growl

- “You’ve been such a tease, princess, I can’t take it anymore.”

- As he pushed your shirt up, working on your breasts, he was frantically trying to recall all the moves he used to do back when he was in that gang.

- (God, it really had been forever!)

- Your hands fumbled with his shorts, yanking them down and giving his ass a firm squeeze, loving as he bit your neck in response.

- You were going to kill him. He wanted the first time to be sweet, romantic, but he couldn’t even control his thoughts right now. He just kept imagining how tight you would feel, how you would squeeze down on him-

- You reached and grasped his cock, starting a teasing pace as he leaked pre-cum already.

- Ah, fuck, fuck, he couldn’t take this. He ended up moaning into your shoulder as he jerked his hips in time with your pumps. One, two times, and he came.

- Kill. Him.

- He didn’t want to face you, he just closed his eyes tight as you pulled your hand away.

- “Zenny~ No fair, let me have fun too.”

- He took a deep breath and looked at you nervously- Only to be greeted with a firm kiss. You pushed his shoulder a bit, wriggling your hips.

- “Why don’t you put that mouth to better use~?”

- He looked a bit dumbfounded for a moment, but quickly slid back a bit, working on getting your pjs off.

- I mean… at least he had an impressive recovering speed? Hopefully luck would be on his side and let him recover fast enough to fuck you like he had been wanting.

V

- It…Had been a very long time. A long time since he was fully willing to have sex, at least.

- When the innocent cuddling on his bed got more perverse- Your hand slipping under his shirt and teasingly running your fingers so close to the waistband of his pants- Well… He did want it, it had just been ages

- He tried his best not to show it. Each feather-light touch he returned, every little breath you let out he had to stop himself from groaning

- He hadn’t realised how badly he wanted this from you

- Once the cute kisses died down, turning into panting breaths and low moans, you rolled yourself on top of him, straddling him and purposefully refusing to grind against him

- Were you trying to kill him? He needed this- He needed you

- His hands found your hips, holding you as he bucked his hips up with a barely contained groan. It had been too long, way too long, since he had felt so good from just teasing

- “Mc-”

- You leaned over, starting another string of greedy kisses, taking his will to talk and interrupt you away

- It didn’t take long for his hands to act on their own- Slipping under your shirt to grope, pushing your ass down so he could grind against you fully

- When you broke the kiss and let out such a sinful moan, he couldn’t do it anymore.

- “Mc, please- Now, now, please.”

- He felt your breath against his neck as you giggled, wiggling out of your underwear and pulling down his pants

- You took his cock and slid the head against your clit, making him bite down hard on his lip

- “Oh, god, Mc-” You were horrible but so fucking amazing. He wanted to thrust his hips up, slam into you with all he had-

- You let out a little mewl of pleasure as the head of his cock rubbed your clit just right, and suddenly you felt a hot spurt against you.

- He covered his face quickly, panting but letting out a sound of utter disappointment. 

- “It’s been ages, I just-”

- “Shh,” You leaned over, kissing his forehead. “ It’s fine.”

- But it wasn’t, was it? Your cheeks were still flushed, you were soaked but he knew you hadn’t came yet.

-… Was it too early to suggest…?

- “M-Mc, ride me.”

- “…What?”

- God, don’t make him say it again. He carefully squeezed his cock, feeling how sensitive it was, but he didn’t care. He wanted you anyway.

- He rubbed the head of his dick against your clit, then finally trailed it to your entrance, pushing the tip in and joining you in your moan

- “Jihyun-”

- He jerked his hips up, pushing into you fully, and the sound you made had him dig his nails into your thighs.

- “Ride. Me. I can take it.”

- He came early, but he was going to be damned if you weren’t going to be able to feel his cock slam in you tonight.

Saeran

- He had experience with women. Not exactly loving ones, but quick and hard fucks in the backs of bars or in hotels was what he was used to the most.

- And usually they all went well, except if the women tried being too clingy with him.

- He wasn’t expecting you to last so fucking long though

- The two of you were just cuddling on his bed, something he was always insistent on. But you were trying to find some funny things to show him on your phone, and he was tired of watching videos. 

- He ended up initiating it, slowly trying to tease you by acting like he wasn’t aware of where his hands were, but quickly dropping the act and pushing you on your back, grinding against you and slipping his tongue in between your bruising lips

 - It didn’t take long at all for both of you to rid each other of any fabric in the way, him burying his cock inside of you with a grunt and a low “Fuck,”

- Usually with the women he had fucked before, they came rather quickly… 

- But as he harshly slammed himself inside of you, finally being able to enjoy being inside of you, he felt himself coming closer and closer to the edge- And you definitely hadn’t came yet.

- He pulled your leg up a bit, pushing it flush against your chest to get a better angle to ram into you, letting out a growling string of curses as you tightened around him

- A few more jerks of his hips, and he easily came inside of you, groaning out and breathing harshly against your neck.

- He wasn’t expecting you to whine, though. He looked up, a bit confused, as you pouted.

- “You came already?”

- “…You didn’t??” He swore he had felt you tense up, dig your nails into him even more. What happened?? Oh god, was he losing his touch?

- You pushed him on his back, climbing on top of him and forcing his cock back into you, rolling your hips. “I wasn’t done yet~ Can you keep going?”

- The fuck he could, but his embarrassment didn’t let him say that. He gripped your hips, keeping you in place as he pushed as deep as he could inside of you, letting out a guttural groan.

- You let out a loud moan, starting a steady and heavy pace, drinking in how his cock hit your g-spot on every thrust.

- He hadn’t been overstimulated before, but he refused to argue against it. He apparently needed to build his stamina back up anyway…

Happy Trans Day of Visibility! Here’s a shoutout to all the trans people losing their invisibility today!
The trans people who:

-disappeared years ago to their family and friends and will have to talk to them today

-drive their cars into drive-thrus and scare the people working there

-pretend to be ghosts, walk around haunted houses, and chuck shit around

-put tiny lizards down the back of people’s shirts while walking through the street

-have to be the special effects people for their cis friends’ harry potter stageplays

-sneak into the white house and graffiti penises on trump’s desk while he isn’t looking

-have been invisible for so long that they’ve forgotten what they look like, and like it that way

-whose idea of fun is harassing swans and geese in the lake, making them angry, and then directing them to transphobes

-give sad stangers hugs so they feel better, or terrified. it varies

-stand behind people in long flowy dresses and wave them around so it looks even better

remember, you are valid! tomorrow you will be invisible again!

My Star pt 1

Pt 1 || Pt 2 (final) - coming soon

Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Summary: She was so wrong for him, and you knew it. If only Taehyung could realize it.

Word Count: 5,417

Originally posted by mvssmedia

A loud pop resulted from you smacking your lips together trying to even out the layer of tinted gloss,

“Ooo, where are you going tonight?” Your roommate, Yeo Woon, gasped from her spot on the couch, “You’re going out on a date?” 

“I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m not going out on a date. I’m going to hang out with Tae.” 

Since you were examining your makeup one last time with your pocket mirror, you didn’t see the pout on Yeo Woon’s face but you could most certainly sense it, “Geez, Y/N…don’t tell me you still have a crush on him.”

“What! Me? A crush..on him?”

“Oh c’mon, Y/N-ah. Everyone who knows you on this goddamn planet knows you have a crush on Taehyung. Aside from him, of course.”

“I…I do not! And even if I did…I got over it…” Your cheeks flared with heat as you quickly shoved your mirror back in your purse,

“You’re all dressed up, you’ve been smiling all day, and you used one of my facial packs last night which is weird considering you always complain about the sliminess. So basically, you must still have a crush on him if you’re doing yourself up like this just to ‘go hang out’.” 

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Shit That Happened Sophomore Year of College

since my crazy freshman year post was a big hit, I thought you guys might enjoy a list of some of the weird things that happened this year! Enjoy!

  • someone yelling “BALL SACKS” at the tops of their lungs in the dorm hall while the clock tower chimed ominously in the distance
    • update: door slams five hours later, accompanied by a very annoyed “ball sacks, again”
    • update: week and a half later, someone slammed open the stairwell door, shouted “SUNDAY MORNING! BALL SACKS!” and then slammed it shut and ran down the stairs
    • update: it’s been 8 months. Every time I think the ball sacks guy is finally done, he shows up again at a random hour on a random day and shouts “BALL SACKS” down the hall for no known reason. I am frightened to try and learn more at this point.
  • those two semi-drunk guys on a Tuesday evening that were on a third floor balcony serenading some guys on a second floor balcony with Bohemian Rhapsody
  • that person who was laying face-down on the sidewalk in front of the University Center while crying and his friend was sitting next to him, gently patting him on the back (#same)
  • 2turmt
  • my first real injury in a sword fight
  • people slingshotting shirts off the roof of the English building
  • this conversation with my friend
    • “Get turnt. But get turnt responsibly.”
    • “Life motto.”
    • “Get it embroidered on a throw pillow.”
  • overheard in the library
    • “I dunno, I just don’t think I want to catch them all.”
    • “But you GOTTA catch ‘em all, bro! Don’t make me sing at you!”
  • the guy sitting in the parking lot outside of my dorm, smoking a joint in his car with a plastic skeleton wearing a bridal veil in the passenger seat
  • the RedBull guerrilla marketing teams that would wander around campus giving out free drinks because the campus store only has Monster
  • “You don’t understand, this malleophone is more valuable than my life.”
  • my ASL professor using a picture of Kanye West to teach us the sign for egotistical/big-headed
  • the former Swiss Army Knife CEO subbing for my management class and going on a small rant about Google buying and selling Motorola so much
  • The Smoking Bandit who almost killed me on a Tuesday night, and who cussed me out at 3:30 am a week later, but ended it with “love you!!!”
  • The Sexy Lumberjack Twins
  • conversation a day before the presidential election with my section leader
    • “What are you doing?”
    • “Crocheting. Avoiding news outlets.”
    • “Solid plan.”
  • overheard in line to get breakfast the Sunday before finals
    • “So then he calls me at like 3 am looking for weed and I’m like? Oh my god, no, let me finish this paper I don’t have any weed right now.”
  • “I know he’s kind of a fuckboi, but like… a fuckable fuckboi, you know?”
  • the beer stash in the locker room during spring semester that was liberally used before 10 am
  • “There’s pizza being neglected over here!” -instant mad scramble for the table-
  • overheard on the shared balcony attached to my room
    • “Siri, what the FUCK”
  • before a painfully early class
    • “I can’t recall where my phone is.”
    • “There’s a pun in there somewhere, who wants to take it?”
    • “Give me 20 minutes to finish my coffee first.”
  • LGBT Studies professor: “my gay agenda is maple syrup”
  • “I’m an American college student, I point and laugh at serving sizes.”
  • that time I slowly and dramatically flipped the bird at a classmate in the middle of my big presentation and the prof couldn’t even get mad about it because i had good reason
  • that theater teacher who still wears a kilt every day getting a tandem bicycle for no discernible reason
  • “It’s the oboe… of love.”
  • the Numa Numa song echoing across campus on a Monday afternoon like the ghosts of memes past
  • that time I’m 80% sure someone got a blowjob in the bathroom stall while I was taking a shower. It was 9:30 pm on a Thursday.
  • me to my friend with 3 stitches in his arm: “please be more careful on future midnight cheese runs”
  • the heated discussion between some of the music majors in the row in front of me before a faculty concert on the best butts in the department
  • actually this would be a good time to mention that some of the music business majors put together one of those Sexy Guys calendars (you know the kind, usually featuring firefighters and/or puppies) made up of the Hottest Guys™ within the music dept. I’m will waiting to find out where I can order one because I want to laugh at them all.
  • my music appreciation prof: “Using similes with toddlers is wild, I tell you. I was sick over break and told me 3 year old that I felt like I had been hit by a truck, and he asked me what color it was.”
  • this conversation I had with a wind player
    • “Why are you calling [the oboe professor] Bilbro Baggins?”
    • “Because we realized that the mocking name we used to call him had the same number of syllables as Bilbro Baggins, and he seems to respond to Bilbro even worse than to Obro.”
  • the tenors trying desperately to sing a bass part from a YouTube clip of an opera and failing miserably
  • the day of a big concert
    • And I have to go to goddamn Portland this weekend!”
    • “Which one?”
    • “The goddamn one!”
    • “…I meant which coast but yeah, okay.”
  • that Eastern European guy who just… shows up sometimes in front of the UC to sell overpriced posters
  • #laundryday
    • “Wow, you look really nice today! I like your leggings!”
    • “Thanks I ran out of clean pants this morning.”
  • “If you’re going to whistle something in this [the music] building, I’m gonna have to request something more original than Vivaldi’s Spring.”
  • “The art majors are trying to burn down the soccer field.”
    • “What, again?”
  • LGBT Prof: “Can you guys rec me some modern gay songs because all of my gay songs are from the 70s and 80s.”
  • Also LGBT Prof: “I’ve got sixty years of lesbian exes coming through for me, and most of them aren’t even my exes, actually.”
  • overheard in the library: “The gender neutral term for sugar daddy is glucose guardian.”
  • LGBT Prof brought in rainbow goldfish on the last day and the entire class cheered
  • “Shakespeare was a punk-ass bitch and, as an English major, I feel it is well within my rights to say that whenever I damn well please.”
  • I almost walked straight into a pole during finals week because I was falling asleep while walking. Don’t let the internet make you think sleep deprivation is cool and trendy, kids.
  • “Okay, so while you guys are taking the final, I’ll be up here on my computer. It’s gonna look like I’m writing comments on reports, but really I’m just surfing the web.”
Stereotypical (2)

Bucky Barnes x reader AU (short series)

Notes: swearing, flirting, mentions of child abuse and alcoholism (past), none other yet.

Summary: As a PA/secretary, you are all too familiar with the fantasies nearly all men share: banging their hot assistant. Former jobs haven’t worked out for you for that exact reason, and now starting out at a new company, as the secretary for the CEO of the hottest modelling agency in the country, you’re hoping this one will be different. But after meeting your new boss, Mr J.B. Barnes, you’re not so sure if it will be. Then again, maybe Mr Barnes is not as stereotypical as you think he is.  

A/N: Part two! It’s gonna be a sloooooow burn. (sorry, not sorry) Mention of Naomi Campbell; just saying: I don’t mean anything by it. I love her. Ok? Ok. 

“You enjoying yourself?”

James leaned over your shoulder just as you told another model to take his shirt off (one of the perks of your job)

You snickered, “Always. I love my job”

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I had no good ideas of a B-day fanart for him so I just did a super fanart of him that took me AN ENTIRE DAY to do.
Anyway HAPPY B-DAY INK!!!!!(first time drawing him YISUS)
He’s such an amazing character with a beautiful concept, I love him. Mye, you’re a amazing and very very very talented person and I have tumblr because of you and your character. Thank you for the laughs and for always being a person with a Bright and cheerful personality. I wish you the best of luck

AND IT LOOKS SUPER RAD LIKE HOLY SHIT I LOVE COMPOSITIONS LIKE THIS I LOVE THIS. THANK YOU I JUST ADORE THIS WOW.

And oh no oh NO the sweet words too thank you so much this is so nice I just ;___; Yeah. I don’t always manage to be bright and cheerful but online, for you guys, I try. Being originally hot headed and very passionate in my behavior in general (aka not patient) and working on MYSELF to be the opposite all the time can get frustrating, but I’m proud of having control over myself when I do! Sorry for rambling on your lovely piece but yeah I LOVE it. HE IS LITERALLY SKATING ON RAINBOWS

A POT introduced me to his family...

 Soooo gather round the campfire, children, I have a terrible tale to tell and I’m sure there’s a moral at the end somewhere.

In two weeks I’m leaving the country. I was going to do a separate life update post but now this happened and the story kind of overshadows the update.

So because I’m cutting all ties to my life here, I’m down to like a couple of POTs that will still talk to me after I kind of fucked them all over. The one that was any kind of steady income was Nice Guy.

I’m calling him that because he legitimately was a NICE fucking guy. I met him off of WYP, as it’s the only site I still use and he was kind of creepy/ugly when I met him and really socially awkward. I could tell why he needed to be on WYP, basically. We went on three dates whilst I was still in the city and then he actually drove to my area (or what he thought was my area bc I never give my real address) to have a date with me here.

I could just hit Nice Guy up and be like ‘can you send me XXX amount please’ and I was careful not to make the amounts too high- he got really upset if he couldn’t pay. One time I asked him for just £200 and he called me up crying actual tears like ‘I just don’t have it right now, but I really like you’. I knew he could actually afford it as he had a great job, but being the big softie I am I felt really bad for him so I told him not to worry about it and that we could go out casually and talk if he needed to. We didn’t have sex, but we had ‘heated’ Skype calls shall we say. He never pestered me for sex, but I had no intention of giving it to him- especially as I was leaving the country so soon and didn’t need his money. (By the way, I never told him I was leaving).

So, I’m in London for the last time til I leave, staying with my friend, I tell him I’m in the area and he’s like: “Do you want to go to the Savoy?” And my Achilles heel consists of five star London hotels and tiny cucumber sandwiches, so I said yes. You can probably already see where this is going.

So, I put a nice dress on, beat my face, mentally prepare myself for a few hours of his company, and head off to the Savoy. I met him at Victoria and we walked down together, just talking and catching up and EVERYTHING SEEMED ALL FINE AND DANDY. THEN!!

We go in, put up our coats, and I say: “Do you want to go up to the bar first?” It was lunchtime and I was ready for my lunchtime Dom Perignon (just kidding, I’m a basic Sauvignon bitch). And he was like: “We already have a table.” Now. When he said ‘we’, children, what I THOUGHT he meant was ‘you and me’ and what in fact he meant, as I learned thirty seconds later, was him and a bunch of people I’d never seen before in my life.

We walked down into the centre of the room and there was a table next to the piano with about six people sitting around it. I was looking around as he was walking towards it because of course, that couldn’t be our table.

He stopped me in front of the table and just said: “This is makeitrainsugar.” (Not giving you my hoe name) and I was like

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

WHAT DO THINK YOU’RE DOING???? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE???

 I was giving him ‘this is not okay’ looks the whole time but he just fucking wouldn’t look at my face. I perched next to this lady who said: “I’m Nice Guy’s stepmother.” I shook her hand, trying to think of ways to leave without making a scene.

 The other two guys around the table were Nice Guy’s brothers and there was one lady who was his sister and the other two women were the wives of the brothers, but they were just like a fucking blur to me as I sat there. I was just sitting there as the tea came, wondering what I had done to deserve this.

 Nice Guy’s brother was like: “So I heard you met on a website.” And Nice Guy was quickly like, “Yeah, yeah, we did.” And I’m just glaring at him like yeah and it was WYP not fucking match dot com this is not part of the deal.

 The WHOLE ENTIRE MEAL they were ragging on Nice Guy like ‘when are you going to get a better job?’, ‘why don’t you move to a nicer apartment?’ and Nice Guy was just nodding and trying to joke and it was just sad like I can see why he’s so self-deprecating all the time. Not that that’s an excuse to ambush me.

 His brother was like ‘your girlfriend’s too pretty for you.’ Then he looked me In The Eye and said “you need a real man.”

 WHAT I NEED IS A TAXI AND AN ASPRIN THANKS ANYWAY

 I was just laughing awkwardly the whole time and just regretting all past decisions as they talked about how much of a failure Nice Guy was. 

 And then, AND THEN, when the bill came they said they’d split it between all of us. No. No, I don’t split bills. I’m not out with my friends, I’m on a POT date.

 I looked at Nice Guy like ‘hello?’ but he was just avoiding my eyes so I said: “Sorry, I didn’t bring my purse. Honestly, I thought it would just be me and Nice Guy.” Like hint hint, dumbass.

 And Nice Guy STILL didn’t offer to pay, his brother, the real man one, was like: “I’ll get your end. You can pay me back.” With like the nastiest look on his face, like your girlfriend/wife is sitting literally next to you, asshole.

 I get up whilst the bill is being paid, because I’m at my limit, I went to the bathroom and I text him to tell me when his family is gone so we can talk.

 I wait for like ten minutes and he says they’re gone, I go out and Real Man brother, his wife and Nice Guy’s mother are still there, that lying sack of shit. So I straight up ask Nice Guy if I can talk to him for a minute and he has the audacity to look flustered like he didn’t already know that’s what I wanted.

 We walk up to the foyer and I say: “Is there something you want to explain?” And you know what this goddamn man says to me? He presses against my ear and says: “That was so fucking hot.”

 Like THAT’S what you have to say, you limp dicked fuck stain??? After putting me through this and all you can do is try and fetishize it?

 I said: “How exactly was that hot?” And he says: “I was thinking about fucking you the whole time.”

 I’m just staring at him, thinking that a douchebag ghost has possessed him because this was NOT his personality before.

 I simply said: “We’re done.” I couldn’t scratch his face because CCTV and security.  And I walked out and he didn’t even try to follow me. But he did call me an hour later, apologising, saying that it was his way of saying he loved me. Boy bye.

 Anyway, so I suppose I can add this to the long list of ‘experiences’ that I’ve had. The moral of the story is, no matter how nice a Nice Guy seems, if they’re on fucking WYP or any sugaring site. There is always. Something. Wrong. With. Them. Remember that, ladies.

I’ve Always Loved You. (Tom Holland.)

Requested – Yes. Sorry, that it took me five hundred years.  

Prompt – You are Harrison’s little sister and you confess to Tom that you have always loved him.

Warning – Somewhat angsty, but the majority is fluff.

Words – 1,475. 

Requests?

Confession. That word scares humans on a daily basis because it can have a positive or negative outcome. People like to take their chances, but the probability of it going their way is slim. Nonetheless, individuals do it anyways because the result could be the one the person wants. Everyone just has to be optimistic and never stop believing that anything can happen.

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hmslusitania  asked:

If you're not too terribly busy, the world could always use more Holsom fluff :)

Holsom fluff, my favorite! I combined this with a secondary request from @zombizombi for some ref!Holster, which I could not resist, because Holster+bitching speaks to my soul. Also, team dentist!Ransom, because it amused me. (Warning: mention of teeth.)

(Now also on AO3.)


Ransom landed in his seat barely five minutes before the game was supposed to start. Lardo, feet propped up against the glass, sketchbook against her knees, fingertips just peeking out of the sleeves of yet another sweatshirt stolen from Shitty, spared him a glance and a “You’re late” before going back to sketching warm-ups.

“I know, I know. Kid broke off two of her teeth on the playground, right up to the nerve, so I had to do some composites.”

She grimaced. “Ugh.”

“Why do you ask me these things when you know I’m going to talk to you about teeth? I’m a dentist, for fuck’s sake. And we’re here to watch hockey.”

“I’m in it for the butts.”

He grinned as he took in the player stretching on the ice in front of her and then her sketchbook. “Think Shits will like that one?”

“I call it ‘Spread,’” she said loftily.

He choked and was suddenly glad he hadn’t had time to stop by concessions on his way in. “So, uh, where is Shits tonight anyway?”

She waved a hand vaguely, barely missing whacking him in the face with the end of the sleeve. “Up in the office. They needed some documents looked over.”

He recognized that tone. “How long have you guys been here?”

Hours.”

“Couldn’t get anyone to strip for you?”

“Shut up.” Then she turned to him and smiled slowly.

Ransom was immediately alarmed. “Oh god. What?”

“There is some news you’ll want.”

“Yeah?” he asked cautiously.

“New ref.”

Ransom’s eyebrows went up. “And I’m interested in this… because why? I mean, is he supposed to be good or biased or something else?”

“Tall. He’s supposed to be very tall. You’ll see.”

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