yeah sorry the joke was bad

I don’t know what to say about all these pictures of Sans with a glowing penis…… Why. just Why. xD
everytime I see a pic like this, I just can’t take it seriously.
to me, if he really had this “thing”, he would only make stupid things with it like… idk, being a lamp. yeah.
and then he would probably make an epilepsy because of it xD
but Hey, I’m not juging. do whatever you like. (even if drawing a skeleton with a glowing penis is a liiiittle weird. Just a little.)


I’m sorry the quality is terrible… I draw with my 3ds (and as you can see, the quality is bad) and I make the animation with my phone so… I don’t use very professional stuff xD but you get the idea-

Hannibal Rewatch meets Hannibal Advent: Sorbet

Will

Turning up unannounced? Bad idea. The wine, too. 

Feelings crowd in. Embarrassment (must hunt out the iron). Admiration for the choreographed dinner preparations. Surprise when Hannibal says ‘stay’ (yeah, Graham, you’d fit right in with his society friends). And something else, covered by fleeting smiles and weak jokes. Wistfulness. For more time like this, sharing confidences. For guests and help to evaporate. Dinner for two and they could share the wine. 

Pain behind a goodbye smile, then warmth coiling low, sensing Hannibal’s thoughts, almost audible. 

Don’t go. 

Can’t stay. I’m sorry. 

No backward glance but buoyant steps. Expectation is building.

Hannibal

Don’t go. 

For a moment, Hannibal thinks he may have said it aloud: he can read Will’s reply clearly in the apologetic bob of his head, the slight twist of his mouth, the faint flush staining his cheekbones.

Can’t stay. I’m sorry. 

But the kitchen is filled only with the quiet, efficient bustle of the sous-chefs, Vivaldi filtering through the speakers. Hannibal watches Will leave, glances down at the gift he’s left behind. A very decent Vernon Bordeaux, 2008. He’ll store it away for now, saved for another evening. Perhaps they could drink it together.

Expectation is unfamiliar but… nice.

anonymous asked:

AM I missing something? How does Charlie's plot have 2 meanings?

I’m gonna preface this by saying I can’t be held responsible for the things I put liveblogging. It’s mostly just a joke and my overreacting, but at the beginning when Charlie and Dennis are talking about/comparing traumas.

Dennis: [Mike] has sex with one disgusting bird…

Charlie: Yeah, yeah

Dennis: That’s not trauma. That’s not real trauma

Charlie:  It’s not even that bad

I get that the point was really talking about “real” trauma and issues, but just the phrasing and timing makes it sound like Charlie is agreeing with the sex with Dee part like ‘yeah yeah, been there’ then continuing with ‘Dee and/or the sex wasn’t bad.’ He’s agreeing with Dennis and playing it off so casually, then seems surprised when Dennis says Charlie’s experienced trauma. It seems like one of those things when two characters are talking about different things, but their conversation fits together anyway, then they’re surprised & confused to learn they weren’t on the same topic. 

If that makes sense. I feel like Dennis does in Charlie Rules the World, when his British accent flops. “In my head, I had it so good”

Not Good Enough
  • Not Good Enough
  • Mystic Messenger
Play

It’s me… I don’t know why I’m calling… but yeah. 

I do have something I want to talk about.

I…really hope that things go well between you and Jumin. I mean it…
I know I joke a lot, but I sincerely think you suit Jumin the best.

And…uhm… I’m sorry I was so weird in the chat room. I just didn’t want people to feel bad because of me.

I think when you have someone you like, you have to be good to them when they are with you.
… If you make the decision to leave thinking it’s the best for the other person, you’ll just end up hurting both.
I called you to tell you that. Just know that you can’t ever recover lost time.

It may look the same… but if the inside has changed… it hurts.

MC: I wish there was a time machine.

Yeah. Some people call me a genius but I’m an idiot who can’t even invent a time machine.

If only I could, there’s a time I want to return to… haha… I guess everyone has it.

But… I’m just not good enough.

I used to think that this chaotic world is funny… all those ridiculous lies, those fights, those victims…

I thought I detahced myself from that world after becoming a secret agent, that the more time passes… the more I realize I’m just the one who’s become chaotic inside.

God… I wish this were a dream.

MC: You sound so hurt. Just tell me… I can listen.

Haha… thank you. You’re so kind.
I can see why Jumin fell for you.

I wish I met someone as nice as you are when I was a bit younger… The only person nice to me was Rika…

I’ve talked way too much.
I’m really tired. I should go now.

Next time we talk, I’ll try to be the usual 707… Thanks for listening to my weird spiel.

Good night.

Are You Kitten Me? (Yoongi)

this was a very cute and different prompt! idt i’ve ever read about yoongi and cats before, even though he is a cat (refer to the picture above). enjoy~!

Genre: soft kitty warm kitty

Word count: 1543

Rating: Y for Yes yoongi IS a cat

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Omg the hashtag you put (#married) under the picturesof Bellemy and Clark, do they get married or something. If not, please don't joke like that 😢

Sorry, it was never our attention to make anyone feel bad, really ;)

Sometimes they just act like an old married couple and yeah… ;)

I was tagged by @099009990990999909900900 thankyy bless  ❤︎ ❤︎

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you are finished tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!

1. Are you named after someone?

not somebody, but my birth name was after the Steven King novel Christine 

2, When is the last time you cried?

like three minutes ago I’m always crying

3. Do you like your handwriting?

not particularly but I like that it’s really small

4. What is your favorite lunch meat?

Probably roast beef I don’t eat meat that much

5. Do you have kids?

I have a skeleton son that had children with his clone (I’m sorry this is an awful inside joke)

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself ?

Probably not

7. Do you use sarcasm?

Haha yeah it’s a bad habit

8. Do you still have your tonsils?

Yeah

9. Would you bungee jump?

Yes please it’s one of my dreams

10. What is your favorite kind of cereal?

I can’t pick one??? I really like cereal

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

I only have one pair of shoes with laces on them but no

12. Do you think you’re a strong person?

Probably not but I’m pretty resilient 

13. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

they don’t make it any more but ben&jerry’s used to have this flavor called late night snack and it was heaven

14. What is the first thing you notice about people?

the way they look at me

15: Red or pink?

pink 

16. What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself?

my face? just in general but I like my eyes.

17. What color pants and shoes are you wearing now?

I’m not wearing either

18. What was the last thing you ate?

cookies

19. What are you listening to right now?

I have The Front Bottoms on shuffle

20. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

a grey blue or periwinkle or maybe yellow

21. Favorite smell?

it’s impossible to decide but mainly rain, my brother’s clothes, the way humidifiers make my room smell and mildew 

22. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?

no idea  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

23. Favorite sport to watch?

if figure skating counts then figure skating!! if not then snowboarding

24. Hair color?

lavender and white (with my shitty brown roots)

25. Eye color?

grey, but a grey blue ish? They remind me of the sky right before it rains 

26. Do wear contacts?

I’m trying to get some but its expensive 

27. Favorite food to eat?

Candy probably

28. Scary movies or comedy?

scary movies

29: Last movie you watched?

We watched one last night but I wasn’t paying attention? idek what it was

30. What color shirt are you wearing?

black and full of holes

31. Summer or winter?

winter but minus the s.a.d. summer is too hot and I’m allergic to mosquitoes 

32. Hugs or kisses?

kisses probably

33. What book are you currently reading?

I’m currently undergoing an intense mission to steal my favorite book from my brother so I can read it again

34. Who do you miss right now?

my gf but also someone I should just forget about

35. What is on your mouse pad?

I don’t use a mouse pad 

36. What is the last tv program you watched?

anime (I’m garbage orz) I’m binging bsd S2 and also Charlotte 

37. What is the best sound?

I’m a slut for sounds I could never decide

38. Rolling Stones or The Beatles?

I guess the beatles, they’re like a part of my childhood

39. What is the furthest you have ever traveled?

Illinois? Or North Dakota, I don’t actually know which one is further from here

40. Do you have a special talent?

I don’t have any talent whatsoever 

41. Where were you born?

Council Bluffs, Iowa

42. People you expect want to participate in this survey if they want to?

@bloody-jelly @gore–prince @gutdonor @guro-central

Hiiii people! I’m Max, I’m bad at intros, I’m sorry. Just know that here I’m playing Thomas Bishop aka the most beautiful cop ever (yeah modesty, I know). Well, I have nothing really to present you for Thomas as I’m used to construct my characters while I’m rpying with them. But you still can hmu to have any connection or any plot, or anything. Just know that he’s a cop. And he doesn’t joke with the law. And he’s deeply in love with his wife.
Well, hmu for connections or plots ~

Anon requested: Posted a joke ad in the classifieds but someone actually responded.

Dean reached his hand behind him, seeking out his phone without turning around. He finally found it and hit the talk button.

“Hello?”

“Hello,” A deep voice said. The guy sounded nervous. “My name is Castiel. I’m calling about ad.”

“I’m sorry? What ad?”

“In the paper? You are Dean, correct?”

“Yeah. Hang on. What page?”

Castiel told him, sounding defeated. Dean flipped through the newspaper and the submission.

Lonely male seeking affection. Must like dogs, watching bad movies, and cuddling. Ask for Dean.

Dean sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face.

“Uh, look man, I didn’t post this.”

“Of course. I’m sorry I bothered you. You must think I’m a freak.”

“No. I mean it’s weird, yeah, but I don’t think you’re messed up or anything.”

“I am though,” Castiel sighed. “I’m sorry I took up your time.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Why would you call an ad like this? I mean, why not pick up someone in a bar or something?”

“I’m not….I’m asexual. The wording of the ad led me to believe that you were also.”

“Oh.” Dean bit his lip. He should hang up. He liked sex, loved it, he shouldn’t try to get involved with someone who doesn’t. “Do you meet me for coffee tomorrow?”

“What?”

“Yeah. I mean, it can’t be easy for you right? I’m having a hard time, too. We could hang out, or whatever.”

“Okay. When is good for you?” They made their plans and hung up. Dean dialed Jo’s number.

“What the hell were you thinking?” He demanded when she picked up.

“Hello to you too.”

“Are you insane?! What if some freak had seen that?”

“Well, if you would shut up about Lisa and go out with us sometimes, I wouldn’t of had to.” Dean didn’t say anything. “Oh my God, you met someone!”

“I did not!”

“You so did! What’s their name?”

“I…he called because of your stupid ad. We’re meeting for coffee tomorrow.”

“It’s about damn time.”

“You still owe me. This was too far, Joanna Beth.”

“Oh, you’ll get over it. Good luck.” She hung up and Dean sighed.

He didn’t know what he was doing anymore. He had been with Lisa for so long he’d forgotten how to ask people out. He didn’t want to ask anyone out, and he didn’t get why Jo didn’t understand that. Either way he had a date tomorrow

~*~

Dean dressed in a t-shirt with his garage logo on it and jeans. He had to go in after he met with Castiel so he didn’t see the point in dressing up. He put Colonel on his leash and left the apartment.

He didn’t realize until after he arrived at the coffee shop that he didn’t know who he was looking for. Any one of the guys around could be Castiel. He tied Colonel’s leash to one of the outside tables and went inside to order.

He felt a little uncomfortable when the barista checked him out, running his strange golden eyes up and down his body. He took his coffee and all but ran back outside. Colonel settled down beside him and laid his head on Dean’s boots like he always did. Dean took out his phone.

He was half way through a decent run on Banana Kong when he heard Cas’s voice.

“Dean?” He looked up and smiled.

“Castiel?”

“Call me Cas, please,” Cas said, taking the seat next to him.

Cas was hot. He was tall with dark hair and blue eyes. He had a few days worth of scruff and a nice smile. He was wearing a suit and a trench coat.

“I don’t really know what to say,” Cas said, looking down at his cup. “I don’t get asked out a lot.”

“Seriously?” Cas blushed.

“Usually when people find out that sex is out of the question they get bored with me. I’m not that interesting.”

“I’m not that shallow.” They smiled at each other.

They started with the basics, talking about books and movies, then moved on to TV shows that they hooked on and things that they hated. Dean found Cas enduring, if a little too serious.

They exchanged numbers before they parted ways and made plans to watch a movie at Dean’s on Friday. Colonel even let Cas pet him, which Dean found surprising since his dog usually didn’t care for strangers.

Benny asked him about his date when he came in and laughed when Dean blushed and flipped him off. He teased him the whole day.

~*~

After a few days of texting Dean knew what kind of snacks to buy for their movie date. Cas was bringing beer and they would order in.

Castiel looked nervous, sitting at the opposite end of the couch. Colonel was laying beside him and Cas was petting him methodically. Dean kept trying to think of things to say, but nothing came.

“Dean,” Cas said, breaking the silence. “Before we go any further you need to understand, I don’t want to have sex. I have no interest in having sex ever. If you can’t handle that, I need to know now, before I fall anymore for you than I already have.”

“What can you do?” Dean asked, then blushed. “I mean, what are limits?”

“I enjoy kissing and cuddling, but that’s as far my physical attraction goes.”

“I think I can handle it. I know that it’s going to be different and hard, but if you give me some time, I think I can adjust for you.”

“This is a big adjustment, and we just met. I understand if you–”

“Cas, I like you. If you want to give this a try, I’m all in.” Cas smiled a little.

“Okay.”

~*~

Things were difficult at first.

They took it slow, which was way slower than Dean had ever tried to go in his life. They went to movies, dinners, Cas dragged him to flea markets and fairs and other roadside crap. They became best friends, slowly but surely.

They were watching a movie at Dean’s the first time Cas curled into Dean’s side. He pressed against him, hand laying on his chest, and rested his head on his shoulder. Dean shifted a little to make them more comfortable and settled an arm over Cas’s shoulders. When the movie was over, Dean walked Cas to his car and kissed him goodnight. It was nice.

After a few more dates, Cas started spending the night. He liked to sleep pressed against Dean chest with one arm around him. Dean would play with his hair until he dozed off. The first time he woke up hard, he apologized over and over until Cas stopped him.

“Arousel is normal, Dean. As long as you don’t try to force yourself in me, don’t worry.” Cas kissed him and climbed out of bed to give Dean his privacy. He still felt awkward when it happened, even if Cas wasn’t phased.

Dean’s friends were ecstatic when Dean asked them if they wanted to meet Cas. It had too long since Dean was actually happy and they wanted to meet the guy that had made him smile again.

“How long you been seein’ this guy now?” Benny asked while they working one day.

“About five months, I guess. I don’t know. Why?” Benny shrugged.

“You’re just usually bragging by now.”

“Bragging?”

“Yeah. About how hot they are or how good the sex is, you know.”

“Not much to tell. I mean, he’s hot, we go out, a few times a week we spend the night.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“No sex?”

“Cas is ace.” Benny’s eyes widened. “What?”

“I just didn’t think you could go without it.”

“I didn’t either. But Cas…it’s kind of nice, y'know? I can go home and not have to feel bad if I’m not in the mood. And I only have to worry about getting myself off. And it’s real. Like really real. He wants me for me, not for my dick.”

“Okay, too far.” Dean laughed. “I glad you’re happy brother. It’s about time.”

“Yeah, it is,” Dean agreed.

Tonight he would get home and Cas would worry over impressing his friends and they would all have a good time. He and Cas would go home together and curl up in their bed. And Dean would wake up the next day, looking forward to it.

“It really is.”

Seventeen Reaction - Your Confession

S.Coups
“Of course you like me!” gives you a smug smile and then puts his hand on your shoulder “Should we kiss now?”

Originally posted by scoupstv

Jeonghan
*Flips hair* “Is it because…I’m worth it?”(bad joke sorry guys)

Originally posted by yuu-jin


Joshua
*blush* I like you too, and he ends the confession with a handshake cos’ he awkward af

Originally posted by joshuadatas

Jun
you’d probably already’ve gotten the idea that he liked you, he’ll say “so you finally admit your feelings for me?” with a cheeky smile on his face before he kisses you swiftly

Originally posted by pledisseventeen

Hoshi
Can’t contain his smile and just blushes and grins and giggles all day I mean this is probably the first time everyone seen him so quite but yeah you can see that’s a ‘yes’ to your confession

Originally posted by hvung

Woozi
Blushes and looks down because he doesn’t know what to say until he mumbles “bruh…” then you get pissed but don’t take it the wrong becaus- oh look he’s leaning in to kiss you (bonus points if he has to go on his tippy toes)

Originally posted by camera-seventeen


Wonwoo
Gulps I mean you can actually hear him and he starts stuttering and you made him so nervous he gets a stomach ache and kinda farts and tries to run away (run after him and give this smol child a hug)

Originally posted by 17-gif

Mingyu
Smiles, he can’t believe it at first! He starts cheering straight away and everyones like wtf happened  “I like you too, shortcake” and he plants one on your forehead

Originally posted by littlemingyu

DK
Runs home asap and tells everyone you like him, the neighbours nearly call the popo because he’s disturbing the peace of the public (omg lmfao)

Originally posted by seventeenpls

The8
Seems shy but minghao is actually smooth af so he’ll gently kiss your forehead and pull you in for a hug

Originally posted by camera-seventeen

Seungkwan
Takes his sunglasses off, looks up at the sun (nearly blinds him that dumbass but oh weLLS), turns to you with his eyes watery from the stinging of ultraviolet rays and makes the most of this by making a dramatic movie style reply to your confession

Originally posted by pledisseventeen

Vernon
His eyes widen and he just stands there frozen (come on boi), you sigh but then you feel a sweaty hand reach for yours aww

Originally posted by vernon-yespls


Dino
He just giggles I mean at first he’s so shy but this boy has flaming charisma so he’s gonna go straight for it and kiss you on the cheek before running off

Originally posted by satanteen17

-Admin Rika♥

2

Look… blame me being up late at night for this stupid thing XD

Also before anyone says anything, yes I know I changed 'shot’ to ‘stabbed’ it makes more sense that way XD

The song is You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi if anyone doesn’t know already XD

Voltage's Fans Trouble

Asahi: *open his tumblr* hmm, what’s happening? I don’t get it…
Junta: what? What’s wrong?
Asahi: you see, all of our fans are being pretty hectic lately…. they said that they got some kind of warning notification about policies or something like that from tumblr and our voltage’s staff.
Junta: what? Our fans do something bad? No, of course that’s not true, right?!
Asahi: yeah, I don’t think our fans are doing something bad. I guess it’s because someone is just messing up with them.
Junta: why?
Asahi: dunno… maybe that person is jealous of our popularity or something?
Junta: tch, what a coward!
~meanwhile~
Kai: *facing his computer with an evil grin* now….. they won’t be able to post my embarassing picture anymore!! HAHAHAHA!! That damn CG you called it ‘cool’? 'handsome’? Hah! You just don’t get it how embarassing it was for me to pose that way, and you chicks are posting as much as you want!! *flips hair* now, my next notification target is……
Seiichirou: ahem!
Kai: ………!!
Seiichirou: i see….. *fixes his glasses*
Kai: no…. no…. i mean…. um… this is…..
Seiichirou: let me bring you to our big boss in Voltage’s office.
Kai: no…. NOOOOO!!!

anonymous asked:

ok ok so i wanna talk about my bf bc he is actually adorable and he is suuuper nice and he tells me i'm beautiful every day (at least) and he's such a nerd and i love him so much and whenever i'm having low self esteem or when i'm feeling bad he sends me these sappy, long, super sweet texts telling me how amazing i am and how much he loves me and he's really funny and we have all these dumb inside jokes bc he's like my best friend and he's perfect and yeah sorry i just really love him

Don’t be sorry – he seems like an absolute sweetheart! I’m internally screaming at just how insanely wonderful he sounds; it’s no wonder you’re fangirling about him so much hehe. Seriously though, I’m so happy that you have someone like this in your life! Dating your best friend is honestly the greatest thing ever and I wish you two all the very best xoxo

Send me questions or asks about your day, your crushes, etc.

9

EDIT: For everyone who want to leave a comment, remember… I’m a girl…

[ORYGINAŁ] (Original) [Następny] (Next)
VERY BAD ENGLISH WARNING!

Soo….I made it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that it’s bad done but…There’s some things that you should know:

1.I’m 13 years old, and my English sucks so much.

2.A lot of sound effects haven’t got it’s polish version, so I decided to not write them at all.

3.I made it on Gimp 2.9 (Beta version) ;-;

4.I didn’t knew how is ,,Target down” in polish, SO SORRY IF I TRANSLATED IT WRONG ;____;

5.And my keyboard likes making jokes from me, so you can expect a LOOOOT of mistakes.

6.Polacy, proszę, nie hejtujcie mnie z powodu błędów, tylko napiszcie konstruktywną krytykę. Jestem osobą przeklęcie wrażliwą (I mającą kłopoty z interpunkcją…), i taki jeden hejt, może spowodować u mnie chęć tłuczenia głową w ścianę przez cały dzień…

Nextale by @nextale

4

Holy fuck so its currently six in the morning and two hours ago i got a call from my boyfriend saying he got in a car crash on his way home from work and needed me to come pick him up. When he called me, he was joking and seemed all around okay and so i assumed it wasnt that bad. What i didnt expect was to get there and see that he had flipped the car about 3 or 4 times before landing upside down, so the hood was completely crushed in and he couldnt even get out of the car without help from the paramedics. And he literally only came out with like two freaking cuts. Im soso thankful hes okay. Hes the phil to my dan and i cant imagine a life where i didnt have Alan in it