yeah pollo

sarcasticambiguity  asked:

Hi, hello I just came by to say thank you for Hispanic Apollo and I would like to know if you have any more headcanons about him

Hello!! I sadly cannot take credit for Hispanic Apollo (I have no idea who created him, I’m sorry!) but I CERTAINLY DO HAVE HEADCANONS ABOUT HIM!! BUCKLE UP BUDS

(Also, a sidenote: I am not Latinx or Hispanic and I would like to apologise if I get anything wrong, please feel free to correct me!! …Politely, please!)

  • Clay’s nickname for him is “Pollo” and Apollo is extremely offended by this because THAT MEANS CHICKEN CLAY YOU CAN’T CALL ME THAT oh yeah Pollo I’ll call you whatever I want OH YEAH WELL I’M GONNA CALL YOU yeah I’M GONNA CALL YOU what are you gonna call me Pollo SHUT UP I CAN’T SHORTEN CLAY THIS ISN’T FAIR oh man that’s just too bad Pollo I HATE YOU
  • Whenever he gets excited or angry, he starts speaking extremely rapid Spanish without realising?? and he does this in court all the time and the poor Judge is always just like???? Mr. Justice please
    • He also mutters under his breath in Spanish constantly, probably the little sarcastic asides we get in brackets. everyone who knows him becomes instantly paranoid when he starts doing this
    • and when he’s startled he will yell out in Spanish. usually cusses
    • Klavier thinks it’s really hot rip (soz everything becomes klapollo with me lmao)
  • SPEAKING OF KLAPOLLO so I have this headcanon that Klav and Pollo would adopt kids if they got together, and I really like the idea of them being bilingual or possibly multilingual (klav is totally a fake German but I’m pretty sure he can speak it so there’s that)? So they grow up speaking mostly English but there would also be a few Spanish and German words and phrases mixed in there because they’re just too little to really distinguish between languages
    • Except most of the Spanish that the kids know comes from Apollo’s angry ranting? Which is primarily swear words
    • So they’ll be eating dinner sometime and one of the kids just blurts out FUCK
    • and Apollo SPITS OUT HIS FOOD and Klavier is like WHAT WHAT DID THEY SAY and Apollo’s like choking NOTHING NOTHING THEY SAID NOTHING
    • they have a Serious Talk later in which Apollo informs them about no-no words and also about how they can never, ever tell their father about this, ever (Apollo has a potty mouth and Klavier always insists NOT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS)
    • of course the kids don’t listen and they just keep spouting shit just to mess with poor Apollo so Apollo just keeps like, inventing word meanings whenever Klavier asks (”Apollo what does ‘hijo de puta’ mean” “uh, um, it means, ‘good morning kind sir’”)
    • But then Klavier starts learning the words too and thinks they mean nice things and like, he’s talking to a new Spanish prosecutor one day and lets loose a whole stream of profanity and the poor prosecutor is like????? Excuse me????
    • Cue an EXTREMELY uncomfortable phone call that Apollo does Not enjoy
    • The kids don’t stop giggling for a week afterwards because anytime they say anything in Spanish Klavier will instantly stop what he’s doing and just. glare at Apollo, who just shrinks

I think that’s all the specifically Hispanic Apollo headcanons I have at the moment? I’ll probably come up with more!! but GOD i have so many Apollo headcanons (and klapollo headcanons) and other headcanons honestly if you’re ever interested in them then hmu!!!