yeah man whatever

new show idea: anthony bourdain and gordon ramsay travel the united states visiting hole-in-the-wall dives with bomb-ass food. bourdain picks out the restaurants and spends the first however-long of the episode talking up how fucking amazing this place is. when they get there it is always in a strip mall, or a shack in the woods, or a trailer under an overpass. ramsay is constantly scared and confused. bourdain is usually also scared and confused but pretends he is actually cool with whatever, in keeping with every other show he has ever done.

shots from every episode:

  • bourdain completely terrified by ramsay’s driving
  • bonus points if ramsay refuses to just drive a normal car like a normal fucking person
  • the look of horror and resignation on ramsay’s face when he sees where they’re going to be eating
  • ramsay taking in every possible health code violation
  • bourdain’s poorly-contained sadistic glee at the look on ramsay’s face
  • at least one scene that is more censor beeps than audible dialogue
  • ramsay’s vindication when bourdain ends up trapped in the bathroom shitting his guts out
  • bourdain’s complete lack of remorse and insistence that it was completely worth it
  • Pete: Hi
  • Brendon: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
9

Steven Universe Pride Flags

Buy them here on Redbubble as stickers. clothing, laptop decal, ect. **Please do not repost anywhere.

More flags below the cut, I’m sorry if I’ve forgotten any. My ask box is open if you want me to make any that I’ve forgotten.

Keep reading

My boyfriend told me over text that he didn't know the Minotaur story
  • Boyfriend: I... I don't even know the story that well babe, I can't even say xD
  • Me: Okay so
  • Me: Poseidon gives a bull to King Minos, the best and shiniest bull you ever saw, and he's like "You can have this, but only if you promise to sacrifice it to me later" and Minos is like "Sure yeah okay man whatever" so Poseidon sends this bestest bull ever galloping up out of the salty sea spray, and everyone standing around is like "Hot fuck look at that bull" And Minos agrees, and he likes the bull SO much he decides to just quietly sort of...keep it. And he does kill a bull for Poseidon but it's one of his own, lame normal bulls, and Poseidon's no pushover so of course he notices.
  • Me: Poseidon is also notoriously easily angered, and he's royal pissed about this, so he comes up with one of the most devious punishments ever, and he infects Minos' wife Pasiphae with a desperate, DESPERATE thirst for the bull. Like she can think of nothing but getting some of that hot Bull D.
  • Boyfriend: ..........Thefuck.
  • Me: But it's hard to convince a bull, especially a divinely spawned bull, to fuck you if you are in fact not a cow but a human queen, so she comes up with a plan
  • Boyfriend: I thought some god comes down in bull form and fucks her??
  • Me: Ohh, no no no, that's the much much more tame story of Europa, who has sex with Zeus in bull form. This is different
  • Me: She goes to the best inventor she knows, Daedalus, and she's like "I need this bull to fuck me I NEED IT" and Daedalus is like "That's really weird maybe you should talk to someone" and she's like "I am talking to you and I am your queen so you better fucking make this happen for me I am going to peel my own skin off if I don't get some bull dick ASAP. But he doesn't want me because I am not fat, four-legged, and mooing."
  • Boyfriend: Oh..... oh no.
  • Me: So Daedalus shrugs, probably shudders a little, and builds the prettiest, most fuckable wooden cow a bull ever saw, but he makes it hollow, presumably with some openings in some awkward places.
  • Boyfriend: OH GOD. NO.
  • Me: So Pasiphae puts this monstrosity in the field with the bull, climbs in it, and waits. And Daedalus really is a skilled inventor, and he apparently knows what a bull likes, because Pasiphae finally gets the hot bull loving she's been dreaming of
  • Boyfriend: I........ I need an aspirin. That is disgusting.
  • Me: Only she apparently hasn't been tracking her cycles, because she gets pregnant, and births the minotaur and King Minos is like "What the fuck?" and Pasiphae is like "Honey I need to tell you something"
  • Me: And that is how it happened
  • Boyfriend: That is NOT HOW THAT WORKS
  • Me: Welcome to Mythology.
5

i guess? this is an au? idk i just want harley englishes to be hot lifeguards whatever, people always draw dirk swimming but jade and jake grew up on a pacific island? LET THEM BE THE SWIM

If you ever want someone's attention, send them this-

It’s summer of 2001; Joe meets Patrick and he’s like “Yo, I know about music.” and Patrick’s like “Yo, I know more about music” “That’s impossible. Do you wanna start a band?” And Patrick’s like “…Yeah… That’s cool.” And then he’s like “Yo, this is a book store, it’s not a music store!”

And then they met at Patrick’s house. And Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playin’ drums for some fuckin’ reason! And Pete’s there, for some reason! They start playin’ music together. And there like “Oh, let’s play some fuckin’ covers from some other bands!” It was like, Green Day and fuckin’ Misfits and fuckin’ Ramones! Pete said to Joe “Yo, we gotta change this shit up! Yo we’ve played all these bands; let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy.” And so Pete and Patrick are like “Yo, that’s dope. But we need a fuckin’ drummer!” Because Patrick’s playin’ drums and he’s a singer! And he’s like “Yo! I got a soul voice!” And there like “Wait, how do you have a soul voice!?!” And he’s like “Yo watch this! Yeah!” and they’re like “Oh my god! That sounds like soul!” So they put it in the song and it was like “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIGHT!”

And then they’re like “Yo, this is fuckin’ perfect. This is Fall Out Boy.” And they made records like, Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. its called Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. Its called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and its real and it doesn’t matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like “Yo, what the fuck! Yo this is gonna be fuckin’ dope!” So they made a record, and it was called take this to your grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like… Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto… The fourth one was like the guy from papa roach or something. And they were like, “yo, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take this to your grave. Fuckin’ record it.” And he did it, and he killed it. He was like,Bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh! Killing the skins! Tapping the skins! Tapping the rims! Playing the shit! Killing these bitches! Wrapping it out!

“We should get signed, to Fueled by Ramen. ‘Cause these guys know what the fuck is going on.” And they were like “Yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin’ hard. We will sign you guys.” Pete was like ”Yo! We got this record that’s fuckin’ dope dude! It’s called Take This To Your Grave.“ Hey, its gonna be called From Under The Cork Tree, its gonna be fuckin’ huge. And then Patrick’s like “I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and its called… This is called Thanks for the Memories, 20 Dollar Nosebleed, and Sugar We’re Going Down..” And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts.

Like one, two, three! Three, two one! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! TEN TO ONE! From Under The Cork Tree sold like, four million records! Ten million records! Fifteen million records! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like “That’s good!” Pete was like “Yo, fuck you! I can do whatever I want!” Joe was like “Yeah, it’s cool man, whatever… I don’t give a shit.” And then Andy was like “Eh… Cool!” And Pete was like “Makeup is fuckin’ great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that.I wanna make sure everybody thinks that guys are beautiful.”

Pete was like “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic!” And then I saw the dick pic, and I was like “Eh, it’s not bad. It’s not a bad dick. Let’s be real.” Panic! At The Disco made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after Panic! And they were so pissed! They were like “Yo, fuck you guys!” They were like “Yo! Panic has the cover of Rolling Stone!?! Yo, fuck these dudes, were gonna go fucking miles above! We’re gonna hit every fucking continent there is known to man!” But they didn’t! Because they missed a second of time, apparently. They were like “Oh, shit we got every continent.” And they didn’t actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like “What the fuck!” oh you didn’t fuckin’ make the continent. It’s like, fuck you!

So From Under The Cork Tree happens, we fuckin’ have three, four years of awesomeness! Like people are cumming on themselves it’s so big! So Fall Out Boy was like, so Patrick’s like “Yo, we’re gonna name this record ‘From Under The Cork Tree’ and From Infinity In High.” Pete was like “Yo, folie a deux means, the theatric of two.” Fall Out Boy was like “Yo, we gotta take a break” meaning, Pete was like “Yo, we gotta take a break bro” and Patrick’s like, “Y need time for my music! Yeah!” And Joe’s like “Yo, I need time to find the fuckin’ art dude I gotta find some fuckin’ meau-metal.” And Andy’s like “I’m just gonna play with some fuckin’ metal bands.”

And they were like, “Alright, this breaks been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long. Three and a half. We gotta fuckin’ come back man. We gotta come back STRONG! We gotta make this shit legit. It’s gonna be fuckin dope. It’s gonna go fuckin sky high. We’re gonna make a fuckin’ record that sails the skies. We’re gonna call this record… Save Rock And Roll.” So they made Alone Together, Light 'Em Up, Alone Together, Phoenix. And everyone’s like “What the fuck? You’re working with this guy who fuckin’ recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk!” Pete was like “Yo, were gonna end up on the tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots.” And that’s all. And that’s all that matters. And that’s how the fucking story goes.

Me as a parent
  • kid: mom tell me a story
  • me: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
4

if the Lord don’t forgive me
i’d still have my baby and my babe would have me (x)

You Showed Up? (Jeff Atkins X Reader imagine)

Request: Hi! whenever you have time can u write a Jeff Atkins imagine where y/n and Jeff get into an argument before his big baseball game and he doesn’t think she’ll come but she stills shows up to support him?:)

~*Jeff’s Pov*~
I walked into the media center looking for where Clay and I usually sit. I found the table and Clay was already seated there, I put my stuff down and sat across from him.

“Hey dude! Whats up?” He asks

“Hi.” I coldly say, not bothering to answer his question.

Clay noticed but I guess he decided to brush it off. About 30 minutes later we were working on a U.S history essay I wrote. I’ve made a few mistakes in punctuation and Clay was pointing them out.

“Thats not even how you’re supposed to use a comma.” He said slightly laughing. “You see you’re supposed to put the comma after the-”

“Yeah whatever man I really don’t care. Lets just wrap this up.” I said cutting him off.

“Dude what’s your problem today?”

“Nothing, I just have a baseball game later and I’m nervous.” I lied “Now can we just get this over with?”

“You always have games and you never act like this. You wanna tell me whats really wrong?” Clay asked.

“(Y/N) and I got into a fight last night and she hasn’t talked to me since.” I finally explained.

“Damn was it that bad? What were you even fighting about.” He asked.

“I don’t even know, it was something really stupid but my dumbass decided to overreact.” I said said pinching the bridge of my nose.

“You better try and make things right dude, you don’t wanna lose her.”

“I know I know. I’ll talk to her after the game but now I gotta go, see you later Clay.” I said after I got my things together and left.
_____________________

I was now standing on the field, watching everyone get into their places cause the game was about to begin. I look over to the bleachers where (Y/N) always sits, but she wasn’t there today. I wasn’t surprised, I did get her pretty mad, but it was still weird not having her there. It kinda hurt to be honest. As my coach yelled a couple commands I took a final look at the bleachers and saw (Y/N) making her way to the front. She sat in her usual seat, then began to scan the field looking for me. We then locked eyes and she gave a small wave and I waved back. Suddenly, everything wasn’t so shitty.
_____________________

After the game finished and I changed out of my clothes I walked outside to look for where (Y/N) typically waits for me. I went up to her and wrapped her in a tight hug.

“You actually showed up?” I questioned.

“Of course I did. When do I ever miss a baseball game?” She said giggling.

“But I thought because of last night you wouldn’t want to-”

“Last night was stupid. Besides I wouldn’t fuck things up over an argument.” She said as we held hands and interlaced our fingers and finally walked off. Im glad (Y/N) knows how to put up with my dumbass otherwise I don’t know what I would do.

  • Me: *is in a coma*
  • Nurse: I wonder how FOB became a band...
  • Me: *rises from bed*
  • Me: It’s summer of 2001, Joe meets Patrick and he’s like “yo, I know about music” and Patrick’s like “yo, I know more about music” “that’s impossible. Do You wanna start a band?” And Patrick’s like “…yeah… that’s cool.” And then he’s like “ yo, this is a book store its not a music store!” And then they met at Patrick’s house. And Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playin’ drums for some fuckin’ reason! And Pete’s there, for some reason! They start playin’ music together. And there like “ oh let’s play some fuckin’ covers from some other bands!” It was like, Green day and fuckin’ misfits and fuckin’ Ramones! Pete said to Joe “yo we gotta change this shit up! Yo we’ve played all these bands let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy.” And so Pete and Patrick are like “yo, that’s dope. But we need a fuckin’ drummer!” Because Patrick’s playin’ drums and he’s a singer! And he’s like “yo! I got a soul voice!” And there like “wait, how do you have a soul voice!?!” And he’s like “yo watch this! YEeeeeEeeeeEeeaaaAAAH!” and they’re like “oh my god! That sounds like soul!” So they put it in the song and it was like “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!?!!!?!” And then they’re like “yo, this is fuckin’ perfect. This is Fall Out Boy.” And they made records like, Evening out with your ex-girlfriend. its called evening out with your ex girlfriend, everybody loves it. Its called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and its real and it doesent matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like “Yo what the Fuuuck! Yo this is gonna be fuckin’ dooooope!” So they made a record, and it was called take this to your grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like… Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from toto… The fourth one was like the guy from papa roach or something. And they were like, “yo, we need Andy Hurly. Andy Hurley. Take this to your grave. Fuckin record it.” And he did it, and he killed it. He was like,Bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh! Killing the skins! Tapping the skins! Tapping the rims! Playing the shit! Killing these bitches! Wrapping it out! “We should get signed, to fueled by ramen. Cuz these guys know what the fuck is going on.” And they were like “yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin hard. We will sign you guys.’ Pete was like ” yo! We got this record that’s fuckin’ dope dude!! Its called, take this to your grave.“ Hey, its gonna be called from under the cork tree, its gonna be fuckin huge. And then Patrick’s like "I gotta keep it real,I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and its called… This is called Thanks for the memories, 20 dollar nosebleed, and Sugar were going down..” And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts. Like one, two, three! Three, two one! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!!!! TEN TO ONE! From under the cork tree sold like Four million records! Ten million records! Fifteen million records!!! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like “that’s gooooooooood!” Pete was like “yo, FUCK YOU! I can do whatever I want!” Joe was like “yeah its cool man, whatever… I don’t give a shit.” And then Andy was like “eh… Cool!” And Pete was like “makeup is fuckin’ great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that.I wanna make sure everybody thinks that guys are beautiful.” Pete was like “oh my god I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic!” And then I saw the dick pic and I was like “eh, its not bad. Its not a bad dick. Let’s be real.” Panic! At the disco made rolling stone one issue before fall out boy. And fall out boy made the issue right after Panic! And they were so pissed! They were like “yo fuck you guys!” They were like “YO! Panic has the cover of rolling stone!?! Yo, fuck these dudes, were gonna go fucking miles above! Were gonna hit every fucking continent there is known to man!” But they didn’t! Because they missed a second of time, apparently. They were like “oh shit we got every continent.” And they didn’t actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like “WHAT THE FUCK!” oh you didn’t fuckin’ make the continent. Its like fuck you! So from under the cork tree happens, we fuckin have three, four years of awesomeness! Like people are cumming on themselves its so big! So fall out boy was like, so Patrick’s like “yo were gonna name this record from under the cork tree and from infinity in high.” Pete was like “yo, folie a deux means, the theatric of two.” Fall out boy was like “yo, we gotta take a break” meaning, Pete was like “yo, we gotta take a break bro” and Patrick’s like, “i need time for my music! YAAAAAAHHHH!” And joes like “yo, I need time to find the fuckin’ art dude I gotta find some fuckin’ meau-metal.” And Andy’s like “I’m just gonna play with some fuckin metal bands.” And they were like, “alright, this breaks been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long. Three and a half. we gotta fuckin’ come back dude. We gotta come back STRONG! We gotta make this shit legit. Its gonna be fuckin dope. Its gonna go fuckin sky high. Were gonna make a fuckin record that sails the skies. Were gonna call this record… Save Rock And Roll.” So they made alone together, light em up, alone together, phoenix. And everyone’s like “what the fuck? You’re working with this guy who fuckin recorded avril lavigne and pink!” Pete was like “yo, were gonna end up in tour with Panic! At the disco and Twenty pilots.” And that’s all. And that’s all that matters. And that’s how the fucking story goes

Bruce Wayne, mostly to annoy Alfred and partly because he genuinely doesn’t believe anyone will care about his antics, claims that his almost ten year disappearance from Gotham was because he was cryptid-hunting across Europe/Asia.

(He was learning to be Batman but whatever.)

“Yetis are real,” he tells Vicki Vale.  “And one day, I will make contact.”

Bruce establishes himself as a cryptid enthusiast pretty quickly and blames most of his suspicious childhood injuries on dumb things he did trying to photograph Bigfoot behind Wayne Manor.

So anyways, Batman shows up and Bruce is a smart guy so he knows that Batman being partially myth and urban legend is going to help his crusade against darkness.  But he’s also smart enough to know that people are going to start getting suspicious if Batman shows up at the same place Bruce Wayne is and Bruce Wayne constantly denies his existence.

He sets his plan into motion at a bank robbery he happens to be involved in.  After sending Alfred off with his costume, he slips back into the bank in time to be there when the police arrive so that he can give his statement.

Bruce makes sure to play it up: his eyes dart around nervously, his voice pitched with excitement, and asserting at the end of his statement that, “I cannot be sure, but I am pretty positive that we were saved by a large, bat-like creature.”

The officers are like ‘yeah ok whatever man’ because Bruce Wayne once fell off of a water-tower because he thought he saw Mothman flying in the night sky, but some of the other witnesses describe seeing a weird bat-thing too so really who knows at this point.

Whenever Bruce Wayne appears publicly somewhere the Batman saves the day, he always makes sure to give a statement about Gotham’s new cryptid and how he intends to be the first on actually catching it in the wild.

“This… Bat-man creature seems to have a moral code,” he tells Vicki Vale.  “If I could just,” he clenches his fist, gazing wistfully out onto the street.  “Meet him…..”

This also allows for him to ply James Gordon for information without arousing suspicion.  And because Gordon has a soft-spot for the little orphan he comforted during his worst night, he usually is willing to give Bruce a little bit of info on cases that the Batman has been working on.

Bruce: Batman is real, don’t lie to me.

Gordon: I can neither confirm nor deny those rumors. *gives Bruce a knowing smile*

Bruce: I heard that he tore through Falcone’s racketeering club the other night!

Gordon: Well…. *glances around* We did get a call from the docks the other night.  SOMEONE tied up most of the gang and left them for us to find…

Bruce: Most of the gang?

Gordon: We think five of them are still on the run.

Bruce: Hmmm……

And of course, Batman does eventually become less of an urban legend and more of a known entity. 

Bruce, busting down the doors of GCPD: BATMAN IS REAL!!!!!!!!!

Gordon: *puts head in hands, sighs*

And like maybe one time Oprah or someone confronts Bruce like “Hey people are saying that maybe YOU might be Batman” and Bruce just like… fucking loses it on live TV and is alternately crying and talking about how Batman is REAL and he pulled Bruce out of a VERY DIFFICULT TIME and how without Batman Bruce would be LOST and if people want to ruin the SANCTITY of that BOND well FINE.

And then like… Batman Incorporated becomes a thing and Bruce is all teary-eyed and smiley doing news conferences and showing off the blurry picture of him shaking (Dick)Bats’s hand and talking about how “I just always believed and I knew this story would have a happy ending and when I clutched his talon in my hand I knew that I was home.”

Bruce similarly becomes famous for insisting the Superman is a fraud put on by the government. 

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: It's the summer of 2001. Joe meets Patrick and he's like, "Yo. I know about music." And Patrick's like, "Yo. I know more about music." "That's impossible. D'you wanna start a band?" And Patrick's like, "... Yeah, that's cool." and then he's like, "Yo, this is a book store, it's not a music store!" And then, they met at Patrick's house. So Patrick's wearing shorts, and socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason. They start playin' music together. They're like "Oh, let's play some fuckin' covers from some other bands." It was like Green Day... and fuckin' Misfits... and fuckin' Ramones... Pete said to Joe, "Yo, we gotta change this shit up." "Yo. We played all these bands, let's play shit from Fall Out Boy." And so Pete and Patrick are like "Yo, that's dope. But we need a fuckin' drummer!" Because Patrick's playin' drums and he's a singer! And Patrick's like, "Yo, I got a soul voice." And they're like, "Wait, how do you have a soul voice?" And he's like, "Yo, watch this: YEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEaAAAAHHH!" And they're like, "Oh my god, that sounds like soul!" So they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIING?!" And then they're like, "Yo, that's fuckin' perfect. This is Fall Out Boy." And they made records like Evening Out with Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out with Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it... with your ex-girlfriend. It's called Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. It's called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like "Yo, what the FUUUCK! Yo. this is gonna be fuckin' dooooope!" So they made a record, and it was called Take This to Your Grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like, Josh Freese... Neil Peart, the dude from Toto... The fourth one was like the guy from like Papa Roach or something. And they're like, "Yo, we need Andy Hurly. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." And he did it, and he killed it, and he was like bigadigalulululululuPSSHHH! Killin' the skins! Tappin' the skins, tappin' the rim. Playin' the shit. Killin' these bitches. Wrappin' it out. (You're getting a fucking tattoo right now! What the fuck is going on?!) "We should get signed to Fueled by Ramen. 'Cause these guys know wha the fuck is goin' on." They were like, "Yo. If you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard. We will sign you guys." he was like, "Yo! We got this record that's fuckin' dope, dude! It's called Take This to your Grave. And it's called From Under the Cork Tree, and it's gonna be fucking huge. And then Patrick's like, "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album, it's called - **burp** - it's called Thanks for the Memories, Twenty Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar We're Goin' Down. And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts, like one, two, three! Three two one! Three four five six seven eight nine teeen! Ten to one! From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records... ten million records.! ...fifteen million records! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record! And Patrick is like, "That's GOooOooOooOooOooOooOd!" pete was like, "Yo, FUCK YOU! I can do whatever I want!" Joe was like, "...yeah, it's cool man, whatever. I don't give a shit." And then Andy was like, "...eh...cool." And Pete was like, "Makeup is fuckin' great for a guy. Because, it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lotta times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everybody thinks that guys are beautiful." **cut to Brendon spitting for 30 seconds** (shutthefuck - oh, fuck... alright, alright.) Pete was like, "Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic!" And then I saw the dick pic and I was like, "Eh, it's not bad." It's not a bad dick. Let's be real. We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us. They were so pissed! They were like, "Yo, fuck you guys!" They're like, "YO! Panic has the fucking cover of Rolling Stone? Yo, FUCK these dude! We're gonna go fucking miles above! We're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man!" But they didn't! Because they missed a second of time. Apparently. They were like, "Oh, shit, we got every continent!" But they didn't actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like, "what the FUCK?!" Oh, you didn't make the continent.. It's like fuck you! So, From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three, four years of awesomenes.s... Like, people are cumming on themselves, 'cause it's so big. **people talking in the background, Brendon spills/pours beer on himself** Alright. So Fall out Boy was like, so Patrick's like, "Yo, we're gonna name this record from uru - From Under the Cork Tree and from inity-isf - **laugh** From Infinity on High. Pete was like, "Yo. Folie a Deux means the theatric of two." Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. Fall Out Boy was like, "Yo, we gotta take a break." Meaning, Pete was like, "Yo. We gotta take a break, bruh." And Patrick's like, "I need time for my music. OOHH!" And Joe's like, "Yo. I need to find the fuckin' art, dude. I gotta find some fuckin' meau-metal." And Andy's like, "I'm just gonna play with some fuckin' metal bands." And they're like, "Alright. This break's been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long." Three and a half...? "We gotta fuckin' come back, man. We gotta come back strong." (You took my beer away! What the fuck? **someone in the back: You poured it all over yourself! You poured it on yourself, man.**) "We gotta make this shit legit, it's gonna be fuckin' dope. It's gonna go fuckin' sky high. We're gonna make a fuckin' record that sails the skies. We're gonna call this record... Save Rock and Roll." So they made Alone Together, Light 'Em Up, Alone Together, Phoenix. And everybody's like, "What the fuck? You're workin' with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and Pink..." (There's p - what the fuck is on my shirt, did I puke on myself? **people in the background telling him he poured beer on himself** oh, god...) Pete was like, "Yo, we're gonna end up on a tour with Panci! At the Disco and Twenty Pilots." And that's all. That's all that matters. And that's just how the fuckin' story goes.

it changed my life

anonymous asked:

Hi! I can please get a scenario about Charlotte Katakuri when he realizes that he fallen un love with her s/o (and she is his enemy, but she is small and cute)? Thank u! (Sorry for my poor english T.T I’m spanish)

Your english is pretty good ! I mean, it’s easy to understand what you say and there’s not a lot of mistakes ~ don’t worry ~ 

BUT SOMEONE FINALLY ASKED FOR THE BIG DUDE. OMG. YAY I LOVE YOU !

(its so long oh god im awesome)


Katakuri

  • Oh man… okay time to concentrate
  • He was actually bored and decided to see what could happen in the future
  • But ah ! Could you please stop deconcentrating him ?
  • Like he’s trying to stay focused and relax but you keep popping out of nowhere in his mind
  • Stop it
  • He gets annoyed
  • And after a whole day of headache trying to figure wHY he understood
  • He’s more annoyed about it
  • AN ENEMY
  • whY, STOP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING 
  • He sort of really want to fight you but keep avoiding you
  • He just want to see your ugly side to tell himself “YOU SEE ? NOW STOP WITH YOUR SHIT”
  • But your ugly side is nowhere to be found
  • And you’re so tiny and adorable
  • And your way of thinking is really good, and your voice so nice
  • How can someone this cute and smol and tiny survive until now ?
  • He’ll still be calm around you, and acting as his usual self so you won’t notice anything
  • You just know he don’t look like he want to fight you
  • What you don’t see is that he don’t like to stand next to you
  • Because he’s so tall, large and scary while you’re so tiny, cute and ready to throw punches
  • And it makes his heart weak
  • He feel flustered and he don’t like that
  • If he’s forced to fight you he’ll do it, but he’ll try to knock you out
  • Or he’ll send you far far away without killing you
  • And once you’re actually far far away because your mission is done
  • He can’t stop but feel a little worried
  • He’ll keep an eye on you, to see if you’re getting stronger or if you died
  • He’s somehow hopping to see you again, but he’s still annoyed you’re not in Big Mom’s good papers