I’ve been wondering and maybe you could help. Do you think Lexa ever realized how personal the betrayal was to Clarke? As Lexa tried to earn forgiveness C gave every indication (I thought) that it was her heartbreak and not the politics that bothered her more but Lexa always believed her that she only cared about her people. Why didn’t Lexa see through her as she knows her so well? She seemed so in awe later that Clarke could love her back. idk what do you think? Thank you!
Right here, this is when Lexa realizes just how deeply she’s cut Clarke. Prior to this, Lexa believed Clarke was just furious because of her people and the consequences of Lexa walking away. Here she realizes it’s much more personal than that. She looked into Clarke’s eyes and saw how broken she was. She realized she did that; it’s her fault. She accepts this and takes responsibility. There’s no guise of this being a political matter, this is completely personal. She offers a genuine apology and Clarke has to hold back her tears. Not only because she knows Lexa means it – even though she wants to hate her and continue to demonize her – but because she can’t bring herself to kill her. Something just hours ago she thought she wanted.
When Clarke turns away, Lexa let’s this realization sink in, she looks guilty and offers more contrition in the form of, “I never meant to turn you into this.” So, yeah, Lexa 100% knew it was personal pain she caused Clarke, she sees that she’s broken the girl she loves heart.
Look at her face. She’s distraught for a multitude of reasons. She hates herself for hurting Clarke so deeply. She’s terrified for Clarke’s saftey – if she doesn’t stay in Polis and join the coalition, she and her people will die. She knows she could possibly die too, but at the very least be overthrown. She’s lost Clarke and her world is tumbling down. This is the face of a broken hearted girl. She looks on the brink of tears. Not only that…but Clarke had just tried to kill her, that really messed her up.
Clarke sticking with the “I’m doing everything for my people” script was her way of keeping Lexa out and shutting down any possibility of anything more than a political arrangement. I think that Clarke’s behavior perplexed Lexa. Clarke was hot and cold and Lexa didn’t really know for certain one way or the other. She wanted to believe she could get back in Clarke’s good graces but Clarke’s mixed signals did nothing to make her think that was a possibility.
Lexa was so in awe because as much progress as they had made, she still didn’t wanna allow herself to believe they’d ever connect like that again. Lexa was perfectly fine with letting Clarke go – for what might have been the last time – with just a handshake. Clarke pulling her in and kissing her, stunned her. She thought her transgression would never be forgiven much less understood and put behind them. She thought it was something they couldn’t overcome.