yeah i'm probably going to hell

  • Jungkook: *standing in the way because he thinks hard about his problem*
  • Suga: *passing* Boy, you have definitely a problem.
  • Jin: *following Suga* He dosen't move since 30 minutes. What IS his problem?
  • Namjoon: *shouting out of the bathroom* WHO HAVE A PROBLEM?
  • J-Hope: The really disturbing fact is: The golden maknae HAS a problem.
  • Taehyung: You have a problem? Talk with me Kookie. I swear i knock the problem down.
  • Jimin: Kookie has a problem? Whatever it is, i will help you. I promise.
  • Jungkook: YOU ARE MY FUCKING PROBLEM!
  • Jimin: ...
  • Taehyung: I have a problem now. I can't punch Jiminie in the face.
  • Jimin: I-I'm Sorry that i am a problem for you...really....
  • Jungkook: FUCK, NO! Not you are my problem-
  • Taehyung & Jimin: But you said-
  • Jungkook: SHUT UP!
  • Jimin: Sorry....
  • Jungkook: NO! NOT YOU!
  • Jimin: Kookie, can you tell me then whats your problem-
  • Jin: Someone a piece of cake?
  • Jungkook: The hell....can you shut up your mouth? Just for a minute?
  • Jimin: Yeah...sorry....
  • Jungkook: *whines* Not you Jiminie!
  • Jimin: ....But...
  • Jungkook: I'm going crazy! I am in love with you Jimin-Hyung. THAT'S MY FUCKING PROBLEM!
  • BTS: ....
  • Jungkook: Shit! *sprints to the door*
  • BTS: ...
  • Jimin: KOOKIE WAIT! LET ME BE YOUR PROBLEM!
zodiac horror story (part 2)
  • ig // sassasstrology
  • the signs are camping out in the woods. they're at a cliché, dark, scary old forest where the murderer always comes and kills people. let's see what will happen..
  • *
  • part 1: http://littlekingv.tumblr.com/post/158545307359/zodiac-horror-story-part-1
  • *
  • aries - male
  • taurus - male
  • gemini - female
  • cancer - male
  • leo - female
  • virgo - female
  • libra - female
  • scorpio - male
  • sagittarius - male
  • capricorn - female
  • aquarius - male
  • pisces - female
  • (that's ^ not really important, but if you want to know the genders of the signs i came up with, there they are.)
  • *
  • - previously on ''zodiac horror story''
  • ''virgo: this forest is scary as shit.
  • aquarius: your face is scary as shit.''
  • ''taurus: GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYs. PISCES IS GONE AND THERE'S A TRAIL OF BLOOD. WHAT IS HAPPENING.
  • pisces: *screams*
  • cancer: PISCEEESSESEESS.''
  • - this time on ''zodiac horror story''
  • *
  • the signs are all traumatized by what just happened. did pisces die? is she still alive? who knows. the signs are sitting in taurus' tent, waiting for the perfect moment to come out.
  • aries: this tent is tOO FUCKING SMALL. WHYYY DID YOU BUY THIS SMALL ASS TENT, TAURUS?!
  • taurus: well, aries, because i wanted to have a tent all for myself because i don't want to sleep with any of you in one tent. and it was really small and cute, i just had to buy it. couldn't resist.
  • cancer: then why are we in this tent and not in yours, aries? you have the biggest tent out of all of us.
  • aries: the tent is only meant for sagittarius and me.
  • scorpio: then don't fucking complain about being in the smallest tent. you are the one who doesn't want to share your big ass tent, so it's your fault that we are here, in this tent.
  • virgo: y'all know that we could easily move to my tent? my tent is the second biggest.
  • leo: what if the killer is outside?
  • aquarius: who the fuck said that there was a killer?
  • gemini: WELL, MAYBE BECAUSE PISCES IS GONE AND THERE WAS A BLOOD TRAIL AND SHE SCREAMED AND LIKE MAYBE SOMEONE KILLED HER.
  • capricorn: she could've easily fell.
  • gemini: true, but can you also explain how she's gone all of the sudden and why she screamed so loudly?
  • aquarius: aliens.
  • sagittarius: guys, don't worry. she'll probably be back soon. gemini left too and here she is.
  • gemini: hehe.
  • libra: is pisces gone?
  • scorpio: *hits libra with a flashlight*
  • capricorn: so.. are we going to move from tent or what?
  • aquarius: i just want to sleep, man.
  • taurus: saaMEEEE.
  • cancer: should we just go outside and check if anything's outside?
  • virgo: yes.
  • leo: who's going first?
  • sagittarius: i will go first, i don't care 'bout shit.
  • sagittarius slowly peeks his head out. he crawls out of the tent.
  • sagittarius: no one's here! you all can come out!
  • everyone crawls out of the tent.
  • aquarius: hmm.. what time is it?
  • cancer: *grabs phone out of pocket* ehh.. 3:34 AM.
  • aquarius: OH MY GOD I WANT TO SLEEP.
  • scorpio: well, we aren't going to sleep until we find pisces. let's split up.
  • aries: what?! are you out of your fucking mind?!
  • virgo: why can't we just stick together..?
  • scorpio: if we split up, we have the chance to find pisces faster.
  • gemini: not if she's dead lol.
  • scorpio: she's not. she can't be.
  • capricorn: she can..
  • cancer: WE DON'T CARE. we're going to find her, whether she's alive or not. we can't just leave a friend behind.
  • sagittarius: well, she basically left us behind.
  • aquarius: can i just stay here and sleep?
  • taurus: yeah, can i stay here too?
  • scorpio: no.
  • cancer: wait, what if taurus and aquarius stay here and watch our stuff, and we are going to find pisces.
  • capricorn: good idea.
  • leo: can we just go already?
  • virgo: i ain't leaving if we are all going to split up. i don't want to go alone.
  • cancer: we ain't going alone. we're going in groups. you and capricorn will go that way, leo and libra that way, sagittarius and gemini that way and scorpio, aries and i will go that way.
  • virgo: ugh, fine.
  • cancer: great, let's go.
  • scorpio: and be careful y'all.
  • libra: yay, adventure!
  • all the groups are out in the woods, looking for pisces, not knowing where they are, or where to go. let's see how capricorn and virgo are doing out in the woods.
  • virgo: it's sooooo cold.
  • capricorn: i know.
  • virgo: why does this happen to us?! why, oh, why?!!!!!?!?!
  • capricorn: calm down! we're just going to walk around, head back and then we're just going to say that we didn't find pisces. end.
  • virgo: what!? i don't want to lie!
  • capricorn: well, too bad! pisces probably just left us because we didn't listen to her.
  • virgo: she wouldn't! she would've told me.
  • capricorn: maybe not.
  • virgo: she's my best friend. why wouldn't she?
  • capricorn: soo.. you're her best friend, still you don't want find her. okay.
  • virgo: what? who said that?
  • capricorn: you did. all you were worrying about is splitting up.
  • virgo: that's just because i'm afraid to go alone in the woods, okay?!
  • capricorn: you didn't even say anything when she went missing or when she screamed or when there was a blood trail on the ground.
  • virgo: i-i.. i don't know.
  • capricorn: of course you don't.
  • capricorn starts walking while virgo stands still, not knowing what to do or say.
  • capricorn: hurry the fuck up.
  • virgo: *sigh*
  • let's see how taurus and aquarius are doing.
  • taurus: i wish i had some pizza right now.
  • aquarius: oh my lord. why did you say that?!
  • taurus: BECAUSE I WANT PIZZA.
  • aquarius: I'M HUNGRY NOW, THANKS.
  • taurus: i have chips in my bag if you want.
  • aquarius: yes please.
  • taurus walks over to his tent and grabs a bag of chips out of his bag.
  • taurus: *sing hallelujah*
  • aquarius: *sings with taurus*
  • taurus: do you want a drink?
  • aquarius: yes.
  • taurus: coke?
  • aquarius: yes!
  • taurus walks over to his tent again.
  • taurus: aqua, do you know where my mini-fridge thingy is?
  • aquarius: uhh.. no?
  • taurus: uughhhhh. someone probably stole it.
  • aquarius walks over to taurus to help him find it.
  • aquarius: uhhh.. maybe behind your tent?
  • they go behind the tent and they see a light in the distance.
  • taurus: hey, do you see that light too?
  • aquarius: yeah..
  • taurus: should we go to it?
  • aquarius: uhh.. i don't know man..
  • taurus: i'm going.
  • aquarius: w-what?!
  • taurus walks towards the light.
  • aquarius: fucking hell.
  • aquarius follows taurus.
  • taurus: heeyy, it's my mini-fridge and a flashlight!
  • taurus picks up the fridge and flashlight.
  • aquarius: phew.
  • aquarius walks back to the camp.
  • aquarius: *looks behind him* taur-taurus? what are you doing? why are you standing there? come on!
  • taurus falls on the ground with 4 knives in his back and one knife in the back of his head. he's.... dead.
  • aquarius: *screams*
  • scorpio: aquarius?
  • *
  • rest in peace taurus.. you will be missed..
  • *
  • stay tuned for part 3, and thanks for reading!
  • Mehmed II: Ottoman, I think you've trained enough to do something big for history! You're strong, brave, and stubborn in battle; all the perfect things we need to decide a form of action!
  • Ottoman (Turkey): I'm definitely ready for anything! Heck, I can beat up a couple of countries if I wanted too!
  • Mehmed II: that's the spirit! Now, let's finally launch an attack to regain your, our home!
  • Ottoman (Turkey): ... you mean we're going to invade the Byzantine Empire? The Eastern Roman Empire? The one that lasted after the fall of the Roman Empire? The empire that I'm told to challenge after only decades of rigorous training? That powerful empire?
  • Mehmed II: ... yeah.
  • Ottoman (Turkey): ...OH HELL YEAH WHEN DO WE START????

anonymous asked:

So I feel like Aaron and John would bond over animals. Like, John for the obvious reasons but Aaron too because I feel like he's someone who just kinda of likes to go sit and stare at nature. And like, I think Planet Earth would be one of their common interests.

It was a friday night and Aaron had just gotten home from work. Hamilton had been more irritable than usual, resulting in Aaron also being irritable-

“Those documents were supposed to be sent three days ago, Alexander!”

“Fuck off, Burr.”

“Hamilton-!”

So when he got inside, kicking off his shoes, he grabbed his phone and ordered a large pizza with all the fixin’s. Then, after quickly changing into his sweatpants and tank top, he plopped down on the couch and turned on planet earth. It wasn’t the most action packed of television material, but it always brought Aaron down after a long week.

He had just started the episode on forests, when a knock sounded from the door.

“That was fast.” he muttered, pausing the video and hopping off the couch.

Although, when he opened the door, money in hand, it wasn’t the pizza man.

“Laurens…?”

“Hey Burr,” John said, his voice tired and monotonous, “what’s on the menu?”

Pushing passed him, Laurens entered the apartment, dumping his backpack on the ground by the door and kicking off his shoes, allowing them to fly across the room. Aaron sighed as the man took off his jacket, throwing it on a nearby chair.

Believe it or not, it wasn’t the fact that Laurens had shown up and taken over his apartment that surprised him. It was the fact that he was here alone.

“Laurens, what’s this about?”

“What, can’t I pay my dearest friend Aaron Burr a visit?”

“Usually not without being incredibly drunk.” Aaron said with a roll of his eyes, “Are the guys with you?”

John let out a bitter laugh and Aaron suddenly became aware of the dark circles under his eyes and the way his fists clenched in subtle anger.

“No,” he bit out, before stalking over to the couch and plopping down on it, “what’re we watching?”

Burr sighed, shutting the door behind him as he wandered back over to the sofa.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“No.” Laurens paused for a moment, looking at his socks, a soft frown on his face, “Alex yelled at me. I was trying to help and he screamed at me.”

“He seems to have been a bit on edge recently,” Aaron said.

“It’s his own fault, he works himself too hard and then takes it out on everyone around him.” he ran a hand through his wild hair and looked away, “But I didn’t come here to talk about Alexander.”

“I see.” Aaron nodded, meandering over to sit by his freckled friend on the couch, “well, I hope you like Planet Earth-”

“Burr no way, no way!” the man broke out into a huge smile, practically bouncing in his seat, “I love Planet Earth, how’d you know!?”

“I must be psychic, Laurens. Scooch over.”

Aaron laid down against the arm rest, his legs out slightly, pushing into John’s space. John had his feet up on the small table in front of them and when Burr complained, trying to kick his feet off, Laurens only laughed.

Knock Knock

“You get it,” Aaron said, nudging Laurens with his foot, “money’s on the table.”

He got up, going over to open the door before letting out a small, albeit dramatic gasp.

“Pizza, Burr? You’re really going all out here. Have we classified this as a date yet?”

“No, now c’mon I’m hungry.”

“Well, I’m classifying this as a date.” Laurens muttered, bringing the pizza over to the couch.


“Did you know a group of King Vultures is called a solitary?”

“Did you know that seahorses don’t have stomachs? The food goes through so fast, they have to almost constantly eat to survive.”

“Did you know that the Spotted Salamander returns to the same mating pool every year? By the same route?”

“Did you know the Sun Bear looks like a bad drawing of a normal bear?”

Laurens snorted with laughter and Aaron joined in. The two had shifted positions, John now lying almost on top of Burr, his head on the other man’s chest, face turned to watch the television.

“Thanks for letting me stay, Burr.”

“It’s no problem, this is fun.” Aaron let his head loll back, thinking about the heavy feeling of Laurens’ on his chest.

“Not so bad for a first date, huh?” he moved to face Aaron, his chin resting on his chest.

“You’re hopeless.” Aaron sighed, but couldn’t help the small smile that crept up his face.

“Maybe so, but I’m the smart one. I got to spend all night with you, while Alex is probably working himself to death again. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

“But you’re gonna tell him?”

“Hell yeah!” John grinned, pushing himself up slightly, so that Burr was between his arms, “I’m gonna be bragging about this to him for weeks!”

“Greeeaat.”

Vague updatey thing on my life under the cut since I’ve been hardcore venting a lot so it’s kinda only fair-

Keep reading

plzdontbeadicktoyourfans  asked:

uuh is there an actual reason for you to be an absolute dick to every ask you get? i mean what's the point of allowing people to ask stuff to you if you're just going to act like a complete douche? and yeah i'm probably going to be answered with a sarcastic response because apparently you can't spent 2 seconds without being an asswipe, fuck the hell off and stop

Let’s see…

I am a moody teenager who makes an Undertale AU comic called Unexpecterchanged in his spare time to entertain people.

The first problem is that no one can ever spell the name right. And I mean no one. That’s just one thing that gets me a bit cranky sometimes… I get it, Unexpecterchanged is a bit of a long name, but it’s all over the blog. Come on.

And imagine making a comic, and then most of the asks you get seem like the person who sent it hasn’t read anything of your comic. That will piss you off.

And sometimes there are people who try to argue with you about what’s canon in your own creation. “Is Chara Toriel?” someone asks. I respond, “No, Chara is Napstablook.” Their response, “Well I think Chara is Toriel because X.” No. Stop right there. I just said Chara isn’t Toriel. There’s no because. Quiet. It’s my AU, not yours.

When I get an ask that says something like, “Is Flowey Sans?” I just can’t help but be a douche in response. I make it as obvious as possible that Flowey is Sans and people still need to ask me. Come on, guys. “Asriel is Chara, right?” Aside from the fact that I’ve said Asriel replaces Chara directly several times, there’s also the green text and the context clues in Chara’s battle that hint towards it. 

Oh and don’t even get me started on “This works for X AU” comments, or Unex songs being reuploaded for other AUs, that just pisses me off with the amount of disrespect those show. Don’t ever do that. No one enjoys it.

Also, I am not a dick to every ask, contrary to what you think. I love fanart, and music, and speculation that has an actual basis. But because all of those are so rare, and asks that can be answered in two seconds from just reading the actual source material are so common, you get to see pissed off me more than actual me. I don’t like being a dick. I’ve had anger issues since I was a small child. I can’t help but get pissed off when people ask me things that I spelled out for them several times. Just read the comic. I already had to disable anon asks because they were even worse.

Edit:

Oh yeah I forgot one thing: Spoiler asks. People who ask me things about things in the story that are obviously spoilers. I’m not obligated to tell you, I don’t need to tell you. Wait for the comic to cover it. I tell people not to do this, and they still do it. “Who’s mettaton?” “Does Flowey have a photoshop form?” “What does Hyperdeath Sans look like?” “Who’s the genocide fight?” I’m not telling you. Be patient. Thanks.

It just feels that sometimes, no one actually cares about your AU. It feels like no one actually reads it. But you still get people asking you things, like they’re pretending to care. You get people trying to shove your AU’s content onto other AUs because yours isn’t good enough. You get people insulting your work for no reason. And you can’t help but be mad.

It’s been a long time coming, and it’s about time someone called me out on my shit. I’m trying to be a dick less, but it’s hard when it feels like no one actually cares. But that’s probably just me. Whatever. I don’t know anymore.

I apologize for my rudeness, and I apologize for the long wait for the next part of Unex. I’ve been having very big issues on the storyline and it’s been a huge roadblock for me. I’m just at a loss for what to do.

-Pat

european football (specifically the premier league but also la liga) stresses me TF OUT because every loss is treated like the absolute end of the world. like the way the media talks about arsenal right now you’d think we were getting relegated to the 5th tier of english football at this very moment and this is the last season arsenal will ever exist. in reality, yeah we’re having a rough go of it. but that happens to every team at one point or another. hell, chelsea finished 10th last season and look at them now. obviously this summer’s going to involve a lot of changes and some of them are probably going to be painful, but i promise that this is not the end of the world and we’re all gonna live to see arsenal lift many more premier league trophies.

During sommer holidays
  • Simon: i wonder what Baz is doing this summer
  • Simon: well he's probably plotting something..
  • Meanwhile Baz: *sits on his bed* *rocks back and forth* aleister crowley what is wrong with me why do i like snow he's awful and ugly with his moles especially the one on his cheek i wanted to kiss since first year why am i like this
  • Baz, 10 minutes later: *stands in front of the open window* *birds and butterflies are flying around in his room* simon snow is the most beautiful human being on this earth i love him i love him i love him he's perfect and too precious for this world oh dear he needs to be protected at all costs let me hug him and kiss his eyelids
  • Baz, 10 minutes later: *paces through the room* *has a massive boner* god why is snow so hot i wanna push him against a wall and snog the living hell out of him merlin and morgana he is so sexy omg his moles and his eyes and his smile and his body and hell his a b s don't get me fucking started wow now i'm going to wank over the thought of snow
  • Simon: ...probably plotting, yeah.
  • Moshe Feder (editor), probably: so Brandon, I would like to talk titles with you
  • Brandon: of course
  • Moshe: so Shadows of Self is going to be released
  • Brandon: uh huh
  • Moshe: and Shadows for Silence in the Forests of Hell
  • Brandon: sure
  • Moshe: and Shadows Beneath last year
  • Brandon: oh yeah
  • Moshe: I think you see where I'm going with this
  • Brandon: I do
  • Moshe: thank goodness
  • Brandon: so how difficult is it going to be to legally change it to the Stormshadow Archive?

@music-in-the-bell-jar thank god, I think it was mostly a combo of the blindfolds and 9s looking 12 in my eyes but yeah o figured they weren’t actually kids (probably decades old since they’re robots lmao) but yeah it sucks that she’s been sexualized to hell and back, but her design makes that pretty easy😂😭 (and 2b has a deepish voice? Someone catch me I’m swooning)

How I came out last night to my Dad at a sushi restaurant before the hockey game
  • Dad: any of your friends have boyfriends?
  • Me: yeah, but most of them are single, like high school is stressful ya know, I'd say about 1/3? of my friends are in a relationship (lists friends relationship status)
  • Dad: speaking of relationships, any of your friends gay?
  • Me: I think society has lived in the black and white for so long, and now more and more people are not conforming to the gay or straight. Like a lot of the people I know are not straight and mabey that's the school I go to or just how it is but,a lot my my friends are queer in some way, like most of my main squad is.
  • Dad: where do you fall on that scale?
  • Me: well I'm not straight, but I'm not a lesbian like mom thinks I am
  • Dad: hmmmm I see, what do you mean?
  • Me: well I'm like a 2 or a 3, probably a 3, like on the Kinsley scale
  • Dad: that's pretty gay
  • Me: yeah I'm pretty gay
  • Dad: ok, do you want dessert?
  • Me: hell yeah

anonymous asked:

Can you do a sterek smut like when stiles rides Derek in his jeep or in Derek's camaro your choice BUT FUCK I NEED THIS

Oh my god, I swear I was gonna make this a really hot, smutty thing but I couldn’t stop thinking about how impractical it would be to have sex in a car… I’m so sorry, please feel free to kill me if this isn’t what you wanted aaah

“I’m not sure this was such a good idea,” Stiles pants as he hits his head against the ceiling for what has to be the thousandth time.

“Shut up,” Derek grumbles into his neck, biting the skin and Stiles throws his head back again, tightening his hold on Derek’s shoulders. He’s pretty sure he was the one who proposed it, but fuck.

“I’m serious,” he bites out, shuddering when Derek runs his nails down Stiles’ side. “This- this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

Derek snorts against his shoulder, running his nose over the curve of it before biting down. Stiles moans, driving back down against Derek, careful to avoid the ceiling as he moves, thighs trembling.

Keep reading

I can't believe i'm posting this i'm going to regret
voice meme-turn your volume all the way off for best effect
I can't believe i'm posting this i'm going to regret

7. I’ll sing verses from a song

First of all, why do you want to hear me sing this is insane????? I’m not a singer. I don’t like people to hear me sing. It’s bad.

Second, H A M I L T O N ??? This is something I can’t do. Reason number one being I dont know the song. Reason number 2 being I listened to it and there is no way in hell I’d pull it off hahahah

Okay This song is called Dirty Man by Joss Stone and yeah welp I hate myself for posting this but oh well. Time to go die of embarrassment hahah

Thoughts while reading smut
  • "You know what I'm going to hell anyways. So may as well just read the whole thing"
  • "Wow this is just porn. The author probably went on porn site, watched a video and wrote down the plot and replaced the actors name with BTS members name!"
  • "Why am I reading this?"
  • "Oh yeah yeah cause that would so happen in real life!"
  • "What am I doing with my life?"
  • " how can you even write such dirty stuff about Jungkook! They are all just noona-philes!"
  • *reads the whole jungkook smut*
  • "Why isnt their any good Jin or rapmon smut. They are so underrated"
  • "Mafia yoongi, yoongi.another mafia Yoongi! 15 Yoongi Smuts and barely a Jin smut. That's just unfair"
  • *Bdsm/daddy/mommy/oral/underage/Forced*
  • "Uh how about NO!"
  • "I can write better shit than this with closed eyes"
  • "There's no good smut to read"
  • "Fuck it! I'll write my own smut"