yeah i'm looking at you peter

  • [Non-Power AU or just AvAc AU]
  • Peter: What are you doing here?
  • Steve: I'm, uh, looking for Tony. Do you know where he is?
  • Peter: How should I know?
  • Steve: You're taking him to homecoming.
  • Peter: Oh, yeah. Right.
  • Steve: Well, you don't have to worry about me ruining your night.
  • Peter: And why is that?
  • Steve: Because I'm not going.
  • Peter: Hmm. Well, that sucks. Because we're only going together to make you jealous.
Incorrect X Men: Apocalypse
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>Peter:</b> *runs in* Guys, I can't stand it anymore, I have to tell you something. I have chylamidia<p/><b>Jean:</b> What<p/><b>Scott:</b> WHAT<p/><b>Jubilee:</b> Oh My God<p/><b>Peter:</b> Yeah, I know<p/><b>Scott:</b> Are you serious<p/><b>Peter:</b> Yeah, the doctor called, and told me I tested positive<p/><b>Jean:</b> How is that Possible<p/><b>Peter:</b> I DONT KNOW HOW<p/><b>Jubilee:</b> Well, do you wear condoms<p/><b>Peter:</b> No<p/><b>Jubilee:</b> Well, that would be how<p/><b>Scott:</b> PETER ARE YOU KIDDING ME<p/><b>Peter:</b> The one time I bought them, I got nervous, and panicked.<p/><b>Scott:</b> NO PETER, THERES NO EXCUSE, THAT IS COMPLETELY IRRESPONSIBLE, YOU HAVE TO WEAR ONE EVERY TIME<p/><b>Jean:</b> Stop yelling, I'm sure he feels bad enough<p/><b>Scott:</b> NO, JEAN, THIS ISNT OKAY. PETER NEEDS TO BE SLUT SHAMED, IM SLUT SHAMING YOU PETER.<p/><b>Jubilee:</b> You're lucky you just got chylamidia, you could've gotten something that can't be cured<p/><b>Jean:</b> You could've gotten somebody pregnant, did you think about that<p/><b>Scott:</b> SLUT, SLUT SHAMED<p/><b>Jubilee:</b> Well, you are getting treated right?<p/><b>Peter:</b> Yes, I take antibiotics for two weeks, and then I go for a check up to make sure its cured.<p/><b>Jubilee:</b> You have to tell the girl you slept with.<p/><b>Peter:</b> Which One?<p/><b>Jubilee:</b> What<p/><b>Jean:</b> I'm sorry, "Which One."<p/><b>Peter:</b> Yeah, I've been sleeping with two different girls<p/><b>Scott:</b> *aggressively puts on hand sanitizer* WHO ARE YOU, ITS LIKE I DONT EVEN KNOW YOU<p/><b>Jean:</b> Scott, Calm Down. Look, you gave to tell the girls that you have chlamydia, you owe it to them.<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>

So, the more I read Spider-Man comics and delve into his storylines, the more I see a lot of things that should be brought back to modern series. I think so far one of my favorite scenes is the one in doc ock’s underwater lair where he pushes the huge machinery off of himself and leaves. I was SO for that entire scene, and I absolutely loved every aspect of it. He didn’t give up, he couldn’t give up, and he was constantly thinking about OTHER PEOPLE instead of his own safety. He didn’t give a damn if he died there, but then he realized what it would do to Aunt May and his friends. He wouldn’t be caught in that scenario of hurting them. Whether you’re on the MJ side or against it, either way, I feel that his need to just be the best he can for his friends and everything filters back to this idea entirely of “how will everyone be able to go on once I’m gone?” Bring back concerned Peter™. I need him back.

4

currently nursing an uncontrollable crush on early-70s-Columbo-in-deceptively-goofy-mode 

Softly || Peter Parker x Reader

I’m a little stressed about my latest story not showing in the tumblr app tags 。゚(TヮT)゚。 it isn’t a big deal, not really, but I rely so much on using this app, so I would really like my story to show. I’m just going to post a short peter drabble to make me feel better ♡

warnings: slightly sexual content. Not full on smut, but lots of kisses are exchanged 。゚(TヮT)゚。

don’t repost or plagiarize this! Reblogs are fine!

-——————-

Peter wakes up to feeling someone softly kissing him, the sensation making the young man smile as he was roused from his slumber.

“Hello, sleeping handsome.” You whisper against his lips.

You feel his smile widen against your skin and continue peppering kisses all across his face. “Babe, what’s wrong? I was sleeping.” You don’t answer him, still kissing his features when you felt Peter wrap his arms around your back.

“I mean, not that I mind or anything, it’s just- we kind of have school tomorrow.”

“Hmmm, I would much rather spend the whole night kissing you.”

“Babe-” you cut off his protests when you kiss him deeply, stopping all of your feather light kisses when you straddled his waist.

His groans seemed to spur you on as your hands gently rubbed against his chest, dipping beneath his shirt to touch at his bare skin. Feeling his warmth, you gently scratch at his abdomen with your fingernails, making him groan even louder in response. Peter could no longer take your teasing touches when he immediately flipped you back on the bed so that he was hovering over you.

You moan Peter’s name and delve your fingers into his hair, laying back with your neck exposed to him as he began to scatter love bites across your skin. While you felt him playful pull and tease at your neck, you suddenly felt a drowsiness wash over you. Your grip against his hair had significantly loosened, and Peter could feel the change in you when you slumped against him. “Argh, babe, no way! We were just getting to the good part!”

“I know handsome, and I’m really sorry, but now I feel really tired.” You lift up his head to give him an apologetic kiss, “You can still kiss me if you want. I’ll just be asleep…”

Peter snorts and gets off of you, laying next to you as he pulled you toward his chest, “Hell no. Call me whipped or whatever, but I don’t like waking you up.”

You were practically grinning at him now, “But you let me wake you up when I kept kissing you.”

He blushes and looks away from you, “Yeah…because I love you. I don’t mind losing sleep because of you.”

You yawn and let out a sleepy giggle, “Then I guess it’s good that you stopped. We do still have school in the morning.”

“Ugh, I hate you so much for being a tease.”

You laugh and press a kiss against his chest, “And I know that you wouldn’t want me any other way.”

[end]

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
  • Aries: "How much wood would chuck wood chuck wood, wait no, that's wrong, uh, how much chuck could wood chuck could chuck? Shit, idfk, man."
  • Taurus: "So, does this involve food or...?"
  • Gemini: "Haha, you said wood."
  • Cancer: "What's a woodchuck?"
  • Leo: "How am I supposed to fucking know???"
  • Virgo: "Uh... 2?"
  • Libra: "7 woods."
  • Scorpio: *holds up five fingers and slowly puts them down like they're counting until only the middle finger is left* "Looks like one."
  • Sagittarius: "Can you repeat that?" "Ok, ok, let me think, yeah, I still don't get it, can you repeat it again?" "Yeah, uh, one more time, this time hop on one leg and spin in a circle, then I'm sure to get it, oh, and look into this camera."
  • Capricorn: *pulls out a calculator and a textbook*
  • Aquarius: "But if you think about it, the question is pointless because it is asking how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if he COULD chuck the wood, can the woodchuck not chuck wood? Does that defeat the whole purpose of the counting, because he can't chuck the wood anyways, and if he may or may not be chucking wood, and Peter Piper is picking pickled peppers, then who's driving the getaway car?"
  • Pisces: "Idfk like 4?"
Starkquill Headcannons

     You know the saying ‘Love At First Sight”? Yeah, it didn’t really work that way for Tony and Peter. Meaning, harsh words were exchanged and somebody got punched. And that somebody was Tony. Although, he was in his suit at the time so all that really did was make Peter even angrier. So thank God Gamora was there. Star Lord’s pretty, green skinned girlfriend. She calmed Peter and the weird raccoon who looked as if he was always itching for a fight and then explained to Tony that they hadn’t meant to crash their ship in the middle of New York, it just kind of happened. So, he begrudgingly offered to help fix it and then, after Rhodey elbowed him in the gut, told them that they could also stay at Stark Tower’s until he could get their ship up and running. The ‘Guardians’, as they called themselves, agreed albeit with Peter glaring at him through narrowed eyes the whole. Tony merely responded with his own smirk that got him another elbow to the stomach. Yeah, this was going to be fun. 

  • Sirius: Ugh, seriously my fan club is pissing me off
  • Peter: You have a fan club?
  • Sirius: Well, yeah. Look at me *flips hair* Anyway gotta go, going to sell my pictures for $20 apiece *leaves*
  • Peter:
  • Remus: Wow, I guess he didn't like our banner
  • Peter: You're part of the the fan club?
  • Remus: I'm the leader of it, bitch
  • Remus: Alright, gotta go get his pictures early, he might even give me a discount
Broken Bones - Peter Maximoff x Reader

Request by @bella-civ <3

warnings: scary drunken men with bad intentions?

summary: Despite his injuries Peter never leaves your side and protects you from everyone that dares to threaten the love of his life. 

**************

Erik and Jean had successfully rebuilt the mansion and the school was up and running again. 

Things were good. Again.

However, everyone had left this battle with scars. Some more visible and inconvenient than others.

After Apocalypse had broken Peter’s leg he had quite a hard time coping.

Not so much because of the pain that came with it. Perhaps it was adjusting to a normal speed. But that wasn’t quite it either.

His behaviour seemed odd, given the fact that the X-Men won their battle against the false god.

But Peter was disappointed. Mostly in himself.

He felt like he had failed his friends. His dad. You. 


Thinking about what could’ve happened if Jean hadn’t stepped in kept him up at night.

It killed you to see him like this.


After spending the day with some friends from college you were walking home alone. 

You were expecting another of Pete’s safety-calls, although the last one had just ended a few minutes ago.

Turning around a corner you were now headed towards a group of drunken men. 

The uncomfortable feeling in your gut rising you clung to your phone. Obviously, you could have taken on all of them, having powers and all. But situations like this made you uneasy nonetheless.

Hearing one of them whistle at you made you cross the street.

You felt the phone vibrate in your phone as you automatically answered.

“AYE BABY, where you headed?!”, you heard one of them yelling. 

They were all walking towards you grinning and laughing.

He must have heard it over the phone because the next thing you heard was a brisk Woosh and there he was.

Pete.

Standing in front of you. Shielding you. Threatening the guys with a baseball bat.

Obviously startled by your boyfriend appearing out of nowhere, they decided backing off was probably the safest option.

A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you turned to Pete.

“Oh my.. Peter, y-your leg” you stuttered.

He looked down at his still broken leg. “Actually, now that you mention it, it does in fact hurt horrifically.” he sighed. 

Obviously pleased with himself he teased “Well, I couldn’t miss the opportunity to save my damsel in distress.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Pete. I could’ve easily taken on every single one of them”, you grinned.

“I was gonna come up with a witty comeback, but yeah you could have”, he chuckled kissing you on your forehead.


tell me what you think? <3

awards and rewards {smut: e.p.}

more evan peters smut yaaasss 😁
—————–
“Babe, I don’t wanna go!” Evan whined as you buttoned up his tux jacket, straightening it out. “It’ll be okay, baby.” You laughed and patted his chest, “Now go, and have an amazing time. And if you come back with an award, best believe I’ll have a little reward for you when you get back.” You smirked, leaning up to kiss him. “Mm, is that so?” He asked his hands traveling down your back and on to your ass. “Very much so, now go, you’re gonna be late!” You kissed him again, he pulled away and slapped your ass with his amazing hands; smirking as you gasped. He quickly turned and walked to the door before you could do anything. You sighed and shook your head. You made your way to the couch of your hotel room and turned the tv on, and tuned it to the channel the awards show was on. You got up and mindlessly made a bowl of cereal and started watching the ceremony. 
••••
Time flew and it was time for the last award, Best Actor Of The Year. Evan has got every award he was nominated for and you couldn’t be more proud. 
“Whoo! Actor Of The Year, what an honor to present this award! Maybe one day I could even get it.” The announcer laughed and winked, making the crowd laugh. “Oh my god! The winner for this is super hot and such an amazing actor, he definitely deserved this. For his role in the on going series "American Horror Story”,“ you squealed knowing Evan had it in the bag. "Best Actor goes to….. Evan Peters!” The announcer smiled and cheered, as did you. “That’s my baby!” You screamed happily. The cameras panned to Evan as he smiled widely practically running to the stage. “I couldn’t thank everyone enough! Shout outs to everyone who helped me get where I am right now. And to my beautiful YN, I hope you’re watching this right now, I love you, princess.” Evan smiled, said one last thanks then went backstage. You smiled ever so widely and ran to the bathroom and stripped down. You sent a quick nude snapchat to Evan, “congrats 😁👏” you captioned it, you sent it and then laid on your bed and took another one, “i’m ready for you, baby 😏” you knew if he got them and read them in time, he’d be back in 20 minutes. But fuck, thinking about everything he could do to you had you feeling some type of way already and you couldn’t wait 20 minutes. Your fingers wandered down your body to where you craved for Evan’s touch. You toyed with your clit, like Evan did causing a moan to escape your lips. If Evan knew you were doing this, he most definitely give you a little swat on the ass. He hated when you touched yourself and he couldn’t see it, the image of you touching yourself moaning his name was all he ever needed anytime he had to get himself off. He loved it. Once you were wet enough, you slid a finger in and moaned Evan’s name. You picked up your pace and slowly added another one, “fuck, shit, hell, damn! Oh my god, Evan, baby, please!” You moaned throwing your head back. “Fuck, baby. A-Another finger, I know you can take three..” He replied, you screamed and jumped up. “When did you get in here!? Holy hell, you scared me to death!” You screamed at him, breathing hard. “I didn’t tell you to stop, YN.” He commands, you swallow and lay back down and slowly get the work. You looked at Evan and bit your lip at the huge bulge growing in his suit pants. His cock probably red and leaking precum, as it’s being ignored. Your mouth watered at the thought and you slowly pushed in a third finger, screaming in pleasure and gripping the sheets, “fuck, Evan! Baby please touch me, or let me touch you, I just wanna please my winner, mm baby please!” You moaned, going faster, imagining Evan fucking you relentlessly into oblivion. “Not until you cum on those pretty little fingers of yours, baby.” He said biting his lip, you looked over at him and your eyes widened and your pace quickened when you saw him. His red veiny cock in his hand, him pumping it quickly, with it leaking it’s beautiful juices. “I know you want my cock baby, my cock wants you too.. So you better hurry up for me, YN.” He cooed, pumping faster swiping his thumb across the tip and rubbing the precum around it like you would, you groaned and threw your head back, going quickly, curling your fingers. Forcing them into you deeper, hitting your spot just like Evan would. “Fuck!!! I’m going to cum, baby!” You arched your back going faster, you brought your other hand up to your clit and rubbed the sensitive bud, quickly. You screamed with pleasure and came hard, squirting a little. Evan let out an animalistic moan, watching you squirt like that. He soon came too, panting your name. You stood up and walked over to him, “fuck me. Now.” You said, pressing your lips to his in hunger and lust. He pushed you back on the bed and kissed you hard. He starting grinding against you quickly and moaned in your mouth. “H-holy hell, please.” You said breathlessly. Evan slid his now fully erect boner into you, moaning deeply throwing his head back; as you did the same. “Fu-uck!” He groaned and thrust in quickly. He had one hand up by your hand the other gripping your hips, tightly. He started fucking you relentlessly, just like you had imagined. “E-Evan! Mo-more! Pl-please! Fuck!!” You moaned, he flipped you two over and let you ride. You went up his dick all the way then plopped back down, makin you both erupt into a chorus of moans. You placed a hand on his chest and bounced on his dick. You screamed in pure bliss, throwing your head back. You rolled your hips, biting your lip. You were teetering on the brink of your next orgasm and you were trying to prolong it, to see if you could make yourself squirt again. “Y-YN,” Evan moaned, breathlessly. You hummed in response and slowly and gently, slid up and down on his shaft. “Faster, YN, faster.” He groaned. You shook your head no and reached back to fondle his balls a little as your walls clenched against him. He moaned in surprise and pleasure. You leaned forward and whispered in his ear, “What? No spankens for being a bad girl and finger fucking herself when she couldn’t wait for you? Hm, baby boy?” You kissed his ear lightly and then rode him quick and hard, still in shock for your dirty talk, he couldn’t even warn you before he burst his load into you. Triggering your orgasm to finally come, making you squirt all of your juices out. Evan moaned watching you, your and his chests both, heaving, struggling to get some air. “Fucking Christ, YN!” He said finally. He slowly pulled you off of his now soft dick and laid you on the bed, he turned you over and slapped your ass hard, the sting electrifying every nerve in your body. “You want a punishment? You got it.” He smirked, getting up to get some of your favourite toys. “Evan, baby,” you said biting your lip, “Yeah, princess??” He said rummaging through a drawer by your bed. “Congratulations, baby. You deserved that award so much. You work so hard and I love you so much.” You smiled as he looked at you, his face in a beautiful smile. “I love you too, babygirl. I love you so much. thank you.” He smiled and held up a pair of handcuffs that you got his for the last award he had won, smirking, “Now, round two??" 

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

  • Me: *looks at my fav character*
  • Me: OK seriously this fucking asshole just fucking my life up God help me
  • Random person: ur fav ain't that great
  • Me: *glares*
  • Me: *brings out powerpoint*
  • Me: *hands out spreadsheets and graphs*
  • Me: *makes person sit down*
  • Me: look here you fucking rotten potato
  • James: Wormtail, how was your summer?
  • Peter: I fell off a cruise ship, but I'm back.
  • James: Oh, shit!
  • Peter: Yeah, "oh shit." Took a hard, hard, violent fall. Kind of pinballed down. Hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of shit. I'm not going to say I survived, I'm going to say I thrived. I met a dolphin down there. And I swear to Godric, that dolphin looked...not at me...but into my soul. Into my goddamn soul, Prongs. And he said, "I'm saving you Peter." Not with his mouth, but he said it. I'm assuming telepathically.
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b></b> (Sirius talking to his fellow Marauders after another huge 'fight' Marlene.)<p/>
  • <b> Sirius:</b>  I don't know whats wrong with me: I can't eat, can't sleep; I think I'm coming down with something.<p/>
  • <b> James:</b> *shares a chuckle with Remus* I know what you've got; the "L" word.<p/>
  • <b> Peter:</b> Yeah, leprosy!<p/>
  • <b> Remus:</b> *face palms* No, Peter, no. It's four letters, starts with "L", ends with "E".<p/>
  • <b> Peter:</b> Ah, lice!<p/>
  • <b> James:</b> *looks like he wishes to strangle the youngest Marauder* No! Padfoot, our dear friend, is in love with the lovely Miss Blackinnon. Bloody hell, Peter; you can be so fucking dumb, no wonder Sirius is so mean to you.<p/>
2009 Interview with Peter
  • Interviewer: Speaking of Carl, you have said that the Libertines had offers to do a reunion gig at Reading for a grand amount of money but had to turn it down because Carl wasn't happy about it. Actually, when I asked him about the Libertines reuinon last autumn, he said that he was not interested in a reunion just for money, which seemed be in vogue, but that he was very happy to make a new record with the members if the circumstances permitted it.
  • Peter: (With a glum face) Did he say that!? That's different from what he said to me. What is Carl thinking, hmm? He made up nonsense excuses that my energy level was too dark or whatever. If he just tells me that he's willing, we can start making a new record tomorrow.
  • Interviewer: But things are not that simple, you know. You're releasing this solo album and starting a tour, then you also have a schedule as Babyshambles.
  • Peter: Yeah, I have made more new songs for Babyshambles.
  • Interviewer: In addition, Carl has just disbanded Dirty Pretty Things, and he's about to start working on his solo project and acting career.
  • Peter: We can do it if Carl and I are up to it. [...] But, these days, no matter how many times I leave a message on his phone, he won't get back to me. It seems that, for the last several months, he's been avoiding me. I wonder why ......
  • Interviewer: Why don't you see and talk with him?
  • Peter: Yeah ... Maybe I should just call at his place and pin him down. You know his address in Muswell Hill, don't you? Can I have it?
  • Interviewer: But if I tell you without his permission, he'll get mad at me.
  • Peter: (Suddenly gets crestfallen and looks down)
  • Interviewer: If he says ok when I see him next time, I'll let you know as soon as possible.
  • Peter: (With shining eyes) Yeah? I'm counting on you, really.
  • [...]
  • Peter: (On parting) Does Carl still have my picture on the wall?
  • Rockin'on, April 2009