CLYDE: Hey, hey Craig.
CLYDE: Everybody loves Stripe.
CRAIG: Good. Stripe needs all the support she can get if she’s going to be the next new cover model of the Victoria’s Secret magazine.
CLYDE: I’m rooting for her.
CLYDE: Dude, Craig’s on his phone, like, all the time.
CLYDE: And he’s always taking pictures, so duh. He’s got all sorts of pictures of us on his phone.
CLYDE: Here, lemme show you some of my favorites…
CLYDE: This one is pretty great. We were all posing for what may have been the greatest group selfie ever created, but then I had to sneeze. Craig took the picture anyways.
CLYDE: There’s another pic where I didn’t sneeze and it looks great, but honestly this is the only version you need to see.
CRAIG: I like this version better anyways.
CLYDE: Oh yeah and then there’s this picture.
CLYDE: Hot damn.
CLYDE: Wow Craig, I didn’t think you kept this one on your phone. Do you like my ass? Is that what this is suggesting?
CRAIG: No, wait. Show them the next picture.
CRAIG: Haha, you were posing right on Stan’s locker and Stan looked so visibly disgusted by what you were doing. It was great.
CLYDE: Yeah okay, but my butt is still on point even when I was caught in the act. You’ve gotta admit.
CLYDE: I think this one is probably my favorite. Well, recent favorite.
CLYDE: Craig, remember this?
CRAIG: Yeah. I was gonna delete that, but I finally got Tweek to stop moving mid-picture. I couldn’t retake it afterwards so I just had to deal, I guess.
CLYDE: It’s a good thing you didn’t. It’s a masterpiece and you know it.
CLYDE: Oh wow, I completely forgot about this.
CLYDE: I didn’t even know you took a picture at all.
CRAIG: Of course I did. I wanted to take a picture before you got your face beat in.
CLYDE: I appreciate that you wanted to capture my pre-fight beauty.
CRAIG: Yeah cause your post-fight beauty wasn’t a pretty sight.
CLYDE: Hey, I did a pretty good job!
CRAIG: At getting your ass handed to you on a silver plate, yeah.
CLYDE: PSSH. PSSSSSH. PSH.
CRAIG: Make noises all you want, you still lost the fight.
CLYDE: Shut up.
CRAIG: Hey wait, I wanna show them a couple of my favorite pictures.
CLYDE: It’s not the one where I fell asleep in class and you all drew dicks on my face, is it?
CRAIG: No, no, this one’s better.
CRAIG: This was simultaneously the best and worst day of my life.
CLYDE: Oh no! Don’t show them that!
CRAIG: Too late dude I’m gonna post this for you.
CLYDE: Why did you even take a picture of this?
CRAIG: Because it was really, really funny.
CLYDE: At least explain what’s going on so I don’t look stupid.
CRAIG: Heheheh. Okay.
CRAIG: Basically, I let Clyde hold Stripe for a few, a few weeks back.
CRAIG: And Clyde, being the clumsy gorilla that he is, dropped Stripe. Can you believe that? He actually did that.
CLYDE: It was an accident!
CRAIG: So was our friendship.
CLYDE: Wow! That hurts, man.
CRAIG: I know, I’m sorry.
CRAIG: But yeah he drops Stripe, and so I told him I was going to kill him.
CLYDE: Casually, as best bros, of course.
CRAIG: Yeah. And then I made him dig his own grave, and I even made him his own gravestone. Here look–
CLYDE: Couldn’t you have made it wittier or, I don’t know, cooler or something?
CRAIG: I thought it was good.
CRAIG: I spent at least five minutes trying to tape the paper to the stick, so you know I was committed.
CRAIG: Here is Clyde, in his grave, ready to be buried for his sins.
CLYDE: I had to go home covered in dirt and my dad got mad at me.
CLYDE: Then I had to go back out and help cover the hole because Craig’s dad got mad at me too. I hated that day.
CRAIG: It was pretty awesome.
CLYDE: Okay that’s enough pictures I think. I don’t want to uncover any more horrible pictures of me.
CRAIG: You mean all the ones that show how lame you are?
CLYDE: Yes, exactly.