yeah come at me bro

  • alien: hello i come in peace
  • me: bro wtf an alien
  • alien: yeah totally
  • me: dude that is awesome how can i totally be of assistance
  • alien: take me to your lizards
  • me:
  • me: bro did u mean leader
  • alien: *hands me a satellite image of a t rex* nah bro take me to your lizards
  • me: bro...... you just.... im sorry bro....you just missed um man........ u just barely missed them
8

FILMS WATCHED IN 2017 → The Lego Batman Movie (2017) dir. Chris McKay.
Black. All important movies start with a black screen… And music… Edgy, scary music that would make a parent or studio executive nervous… And logos… Really long and dramatic logos… Warner Bros. Why not “Warner Brothers”? I don’t know… DC… The house that Batman built. Yeah, what, Superman? Come at me, bro. I’m your Kryptonite…

Me: fuck it, I’m just gonna skip ahead to that scene that I have pictured perfectly, even if I haven’t built up the story to that point, I’ll just fill in stuff later.

Also me: But I’ve got to write the scene that happens before that and the one before so I can set up the moment perfectly.

Me: Stop.  Just write the part where they kiss dammit.

If you had one word - just one word - to describe yourself, what word would you use?

Man, that’s a tough one, bro, I dunno.  I guess alot of my friends would say I’m a typical bro, you know, I like all the bro things that bros do, I kinda bro out alot, especially since I met him, yknow?  Even though it don’t really feel like it’s only since I met him, it’s more like it’s been happening in slow motion for my whole life, if that makes any sense, you know?  Like a sleeper thing, like it was asleep in me, and just like, woke up, sorta, when I met my bro.  So I guess I’d say bro, that’d be a good word to describe me, cuz it doesn’t only describe me but it describes my bro too.  Two halfs, one whole.  You dig?

Okay, sure.  I’m not really sure I - exactly follow your train of thought, but okay.  Next question.  With whom in your life would you say you are closest?  It could be a roommate, or a –

That’s a easy one!  Totally my bro.  We do fuckin everything together.  We even share clothes.  Work out together, climb shit together, go hiking, play ball - football, baseball, basketball.  He says he’s gonna teach me how to skate, too, so we can even play hockey together.  How fuckin sweet is that?  We’re gettin big together, like crazy.  Already pretty ripped.  Been takin these awesome supps that my bro gave me.  You outta try em, bro.  You work out?

I, sure, yeah.  Go to the gym.  Not real regular, but I work out some.  But this isn’t about me, it’s about you.

Oh yeah.  I forgot again.  Just sayin, bro, you could probly use some of these awesome supps.  You look like you could be pretty big.  If you wanted to, yknow.

Have you always been such a workout junkie?

Huhuhuhuh workout junkie.  That’s a funny way to put it, bro.  Dya mind if I call you bro, bro?  I guess I just kinda call everyone bro now.  Huhuh, even chicks.  It’s cool though. 

So …

Uh, sorry bro.   What was the question again?

Have you always been such a … uh - did you always, yknow.  Uh, workout.  Alot.  I mean, your guns are fuckin huge.

Fuck yeah, right?  Look even better when I flex.  Been workin the bis extra hard lately with bro.  See?

Wow.  Fuck.  That’s, uh, yeah.  Fuck.

Yeah bro!  Uh, you sportin a little wood there, bro, huhuh, you like what you see?  Yeah, it’s cool, bro.  You wanna just kinda stick your hand in your shorts and mess around a bit, that’s cool, bro.  How ya feelin?

Uhhhh … fuck … good, bro … real fuckin good …

Fuck yeah bro!  Maybe you can come workout with me an my bro sometime, shape up your guns.  Hey, so what’d you say you were interviewin me for anyway?

Uh, the school … paper.  Fuck.  Fuuuuck.  Your friends, they wanted to know … fuck …. where you’d gone …

Yeah, bro.  Uh, what friends?  What paper? 

Yeah … what friends.  What paper.

Yeah bro!  Hey, I got a hat for you.  It’s just like the one my bro gave me when I met my bro.  It’s cool, right?

Fuck yeah …

Says “REBORN.”

Reborn, bro.

Fuck yeah!   

10. Pink // Nurseydex

« {Part 10 of my Valentine’s collection.} »

a/n: it snowed on my college campus a few days ago, so i had to write something snowball fight-related. enjoy!

The moment he felt the snowball connect with the back of his neck, Dex knew—it was on.

He turned around and sure enough, there was Nursey, standing on the Haus lawn, wearing nothing more substantial than a multi-colored striped Patagonia and holding an armful of pre-packed snowballs. “Nurse!” Dex called out. “You are so dead!

“Oh, yeah. Definitely,” Nursey said, readying another snowball. “You’re totally about to hashtag-wreck me.”

Nursey didn’t get a chance to throw the snowball he was holding. Dex set his backpack down on the sidewalk in front of the house, bent down to scoop up a snowball, and threw it at Nursey’s hand. “You’re going down, Nursey,” he grinned.

Dex was raised in a household of five kids in the middle of Portland, Maine. Knowing how to participate in a snowball fight was less of a talent and more of a survival skill. If you didn’t know how to pack a snowball in under a second and a half flat, there was no way you were going to be able to defend yourself when your older sisters decide to ambush you on your way home from school. Dex was a snowball fight professional. Nursey wouldn’t even see what was coming to him.

With practiced hands, Dex scooped up two more snowballs and threw them with deathly accuracy, aiming straight for Nursey’s face. One of them hit Nursey’s chest, but the other hit its mark perfectly. Was it playing fair? No. But was it satisfying? Hell yes.

“Ow! Shit! That was savage cold, man,” Nursey said, wiping snow out of his eyes. “You aren’t messing around, are you?”

“Nope,” Dex said. “You gonna fight back or what?”

“Hell yeah, I’m fighting back.” Nursey said. “Come at me, bro.”

And so he did.

Keep reading

Favorite Lines from Lego Batman Movie

Grace Balin/Orca: I’M A WHALE!


Voldemort: You’re a fish! You’re a frog! You’re a fish-frog!


‘Puter: What’s the password?

Bruce Wayne/Batman: Iron Man sucks!


Alfred Pennyworth: I’m Mr. Sixties. 


Batman:  Black. All important movies start with a black screen. And music. Edgy, scary music that would make a parent or studio executive nervous. And logos. Really long and dramatic logos. Warner Brahs! Why not Warner Brothers? I dunno. DC. The house that Batman built. Yeah, what, Superman? Come at me, bro. I’m your Kryptonite. Hmm, not sure what RatPac does but that logo is macho. I dig it. Okay, get yourself ready for some… reading. If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change. Hoooo. No, I said that. Batman is very wise. I also have huge pecs and a nine pack. Yeah, I’ve got an extra ab. Now lets start the movie.


Waylon Jones/Killer Croc: I did something!


Edward Nygma/Riddler: Riddle me this… what just happened? 


Alfred Pennyworth: Ha! You just got Union-Jacked! 

Friendly Advice

Prompt: Lance think’s he’s the best wingman ever. He’s always giving the reader advice about the best ways to win over their crush. this has been going on for a while, but he never thought to ask who this mysterious crush is. reader finally decides to start putting their advice into action, and suddenly Lance realizes he’s the one his friend has been trying to woo the entire time. turns out they’ve already had his heart. and all the asking for advice just showed how much they care.

— I’m not very satisfied with this, but I tried. heh, I also changed it a little bit? Like he didn’t figure out right away —-

Liking Lance Mcclaine was hard. He had a habit of always flirting with people. Furthermore, it seemed that everyone he talked to seemed so pretty. He seemed to have pretty high standards. You one the other hand… you were never the best at flirting - you’d get embarrassed, would get tongue twisted, or would just not try in the first place. You wanted to change that though, because no matter how embarrassed he made you - you genuinely liked the guy.

Since he was always flirting, you figured who better to ask for relationship advice from, right?

You hoped so.


You first cornered him in the lounge area, where he was scrolling through a device that Pidge had created.

“Hey, Lance can I talk to you real quick?” You asked, as you took a seat across from him.

“Sure,” he replied, smiling, “So, what’s the deal? Need a baddie for me to nab with my awesome shooting skills?” He asked, grinning.

You rolled your eyes, “No, but this is much more important.”

He straightened himself out, and leaned in, his elbows now perched on his knees. “Ask away.”

“I…I need help with a boy-” Lance’s face broke out into the biggest shit-eating grin you had seen from him in your life.

“And you come to me because i’m great at flirting right? Allll the ladies like me, so of course you come for advice,” he starts rambling, getting so into himself, you almost forget what you even like about this boy.

“Actually, I came to you because I trust you.” ‘And because you know what you like, so you’ll give me advice about it.

“Really?” He smiles softly before continuing, “So what about boys do you need help with?”

“Well, how do I show them I like them?”



And thus began the cycle - Lance took it upon himself to always inform you what to get - what flowers looked pretty, what phrases to say - everything.

“Write that down,” he’d often say after he’d make a passing remark about what to get for your mystery crush. Dutifully, you did, and by know, you had filled up half of your notebook with suggestions and phrases from Lance. You wondered if maybe he knew that the crush was him, considering the fact that he never even asked who they were.

It had been months! How had he not thought it was him? You lay back on your bed as you contemplated how to start making advances onto him. You reached underneath your pillow for the plain red notebook that you wrote his advice in. 

“Why red?” You had asked him when he first handed it to you.

“Because red is the symbol of love! God, you have so much to learn,” He had replied, shaking his head as if you were some pitiful creature.

You flipped through the pages, your eyes scanning each line for something simple to start with. Your eyes landed on something, written in bold:

36. Compliment him.

That seemed easy enough, you decided, and flipped the notebook closed. You slid it under your pillow, took a deep breath, and started walking back to the dining room, where you had last seen your friend.

Sure enough, he sat at the table, stuffing his face with food. It was normal that he was hungry, as they had just finished a mission a few hours before, that had left everyone tired. They had all slept before eating.

“Hey, uhm Lance?” You asked as you neared him, taking the seat by him.

“Mmmhm?” He asked through a mouthful of food.

“I just wanted to say great job yesterday,” He choked a little.

“Thanks.”

“No but I mean seriously, you keep getting better and better with the gun. If you hadn’t blasted the guard, we’d probably still be on that ship.”

He flushed a little, “Thanks,” he repeated.

You smiled at him and stood up, “That’s all I had to say. Mornin’” You smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

Bingo, advice number 34. Make them flustered’ You thought as you walked away.

Lance watched you leave the room, his face flushed with embarrassment. “What was that all about?” He mumbled, before continuing his meal.


“God, your guy must love you by now!” Lance exclaimed one day, as you guys lounged on the couch. “I give such good advice.”

“Not really,” you mumble, sighing. “He doesn’t really notice me.”

Lance furrowed his eyebrows, “What? After all of that?”

You nodded, “It’s just the way the cookie crumbles I guess.”

“That guy’s a jerk,” Lance declared, “He needs to wake up and notice the signs bro, the signs.

If only you could hear yourself’ You thought. 


Deciding not to make yourself too suspicious, you would sometimes do some of the things on the list to the other people on the list - 

  • Helping Hunk identify and pick some herbs (10. Get them something they like), 
  • Talking to Keith, (23. Bond with them), 
  • Helping Shiro watch over the other paladins (2. Help them do tasks they dislike), 
  • Giving Allura a hairpin from the store (5. Presents!!!)
  • Making sure Pidge went to sleep, (8. Take care of them)
  • And listening to Coran talk about when he was younger, (41. Listen to them ramble)

But you always saved the best things for Lance - you cooked for him, you tried sparing with him, you even got him a present (a mini water gun), but he just never seemed to get it. How stupid could he be? He couldn’t even recognize his own advice?

Exhausted, you decided you might as well try one more of his ideas, (for the sake of crossing it off the list) before going to sleep.

“Lance?” You called for him, “I’m not very good at guns, so I’m trying to get better. Can you help me…?”

Lance perked up and grinned at you before coming over, “Sure thing.” He followed you down to the training deck, whistling an unfamiliar tune.

When you guys got there, he helped you arrange the targets before helping you pick a lightweight gun.

“Okay, so first, turn off the safety.” He instructed. You looked at him blankly, your eyes unblinking. He sighed, walking over to you, “Here,” He said softly, his back pressed against you as he messed with the gun a little.

“Okay, now that it’s done, you raise the gun and aim.”

“Now what?”

“You wanted to get better right? Just raise and aim for now, we don’t want you shooting the whole building.”

“But how am I supposed to know if I’m aiming right if I can’t shoot?”

He sighed, “Good point. Go ahead.”

You rose the gun, purposefully mishandling it.

“No, no that’s all wrong!” He said, “Like this,” He said, demonstrating again.

You ‘tried’ to correct yourself again, but it was not to Lance’s liking, as he was quick to come over to help you.

“Your left arm goes down…here” He mumbled to you, even closer than before, “And you’re right arm goes right here.”

You were sure he could hear your heart race out of your chest. He was so close! He smelt nice, and you wanted to be in his hold longer. You almost wanted to sigh with content. 

“There, now raise your arms,” He said, bringing you back, “Aim,” his arms were over yours, “And fire.”

The bullet pierced the middle of the target, causing you both to cheer.

“Of course it would,” Lance remarked, “You have the best teacher!” He took the gun from your hand softly as he praised himself.

You rolled your eyes, turning in his grip, your mouth open and ready to say something. It was only when you came face to face with his chest that you realized how close you guys where. “Uhm, t-thanks.” You mumbled, before rushing out of the room.

Lance watched your retreating form, your gun falling limp from his arm. “Huh,” he marveled out loud, “That’s weird.”


“So…how long have you guys been dating?” Allura asked Lance later that day. 

“Yeah, and how come you didn’t tell me?” Hunk asked, “Not cool bro.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Suddenly, Lance felt extremely trapped. All eyes were on him - when did everyone even enter the room?

“We’re not dating.” He said, “Y/N doesn’t like me!”

“You really are an idiot,” Keith said.

“It’s quite obvious they likes you - they’re always flirting with you!” Allura said, her eyebrows furrowing.

“No, they has a crush on someone else!”

The whole deck grew quite, and everyone mulled over the nice gestures that Y/N had done to them. “Which one of us?” Hunk asked, “Because um… They’re only m cooking partner.” Lance left them to their confused murmuring and instead shuffled to his room.


As he lay in bed, staring up at the empty ceiling, he thought about all of the advice he gave them. It hit him like a freight train, as his mind worked backwards, matching the advice to Y/N’s actions.

“Holy crap,” he mumbled sitting up, “Y/N likes me.” He felt his heart swell, “They’ve been taking my advice for months to know how to woo me.” He hugged the blanket to his chest and plopped back down. “They care so much.”

His face wouldn’t stop smiling, and for once, he felt like someone fully had his heart.


The next morning, Lance woke up bright and early, and gave you his last piece of advice, “Tell them.”

You spluttered, “I can’t do that!”

“Why not?” He smirked, “You’ve already come so far.”

“B-but…I don’t want to confess first.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want them to reject me.”

Lance smiled at your pouting form, and said “Fine.”

“Fine?” You ask, confused.

“Y/N I really like you. I like spending time with you, I like talking to you, and I like being with you. Would you do the honor of being my (girl/boy)friend?”


- I didn’t know how to end it jskdslfkjfdsg

anonymous asked:

So you know how waayy back when DRv3 was first shown we all kinda started to ship who is now known as Kiibo and Momota together but now as a thousand more things have released we have started to stray away from that ship and started pairing Kiibo with Ouma (in game interactions) and Momota with Saihara (Official art and merch put them together)? I thought because of this, we should have all four of them be a group. Double dates. Hanging out. The SQUAD. All friends. Happy. What are your thoughts?

THEY THEM BOIS

Unused jokes!

Jokes that were either not funny enough to be in my story or I couldn’t find a place for them

——


[OUMA]: You know what they say

[OUMA]: The early bird is worth 2 in the bush

[KOREKIYO]: you know what

[KOREKIYO]: I can’t do this anymore

||KOREKIYO HAS LOGGED OUT||

[RYOMA]: Did he just fucking rage quit?

[OUMA]: #Triggered

——

[ANGIE]: Omg it’s still not here!

[ANGIE]: I ordered it a week ago! I thought today for sure

[ANGIE]: Why can’t he mail man come more than once a day

[MIU]: same reason I don’t

[MIU]: its hard work

[KIIBO]: someone ban her from chat


—–


[KAITO]: I like my women like I like my stars

[SHUUICHI]: bright?

[OUMA]: gassy!

[RYOMA]: High?

[KOREKIYO]: thousands of light years away?

[RANTAROU]: already dead?

[KAITO]: omfg

_________

[SHUUICHI]: I’m a good boyfriend right?

[KAITO]: how should we know?

[OUMA]: You’re pretty giving in bed

[RYOMA]: What The fuck did I just learn

—–

[KIRUMI]: I’m pretty sure most of you will end up in jail if you keep this up

[RYOMA]: oh yeah, soooo scary

[RYOMA]: come at me bro

——-


[SHUUICHI]: none of you should ever have children

[OUMA]: I’m going to have hundreds

[OUMA]: I will literally ‘raise’ an army

[OUMA]: good luck trying to stop me

Ronald: I WILL KNOX YOU OUT IF YOU COME AT ME BRO!!

Eric: Yeah!

Ronald: I WILL MESS YOU UP SO BAD UR OWN MOTHER WONT RECONIZE YOU!!!

Eric: YEAAAAHHH!!!

Grell: Ronnie! I made cookies and got you your favorite sippy cup.

Eric: Ha nerd.

Alan: Eric! I  washed your baby blanket, there's also a plate of cookies on the table!

  • Jace: [In a crowd and can't find Simon because he got kidnapped ~again~] This calls for drastic measures
  • Jace: [uses hands as a microphone] I'M NOT SAVING YOUR ASS A SECOND TIME
  • Simon: [from across the room] YOU DON'T GET TO TALK TO ME, CAPTAIN AMERICA
  • Jace: I'M THE GUY WITH THE WEAPONS, I GET TO SAY WHAT I WANT
  • Simon: OKAY, COME AT ME BRO!
  • Jace: OH YEAH?!
  • Simon: YEAH!!
  • Jace: found him
  • Clary: [from a distance] REALLY?!?

It came to him out of nowhere one day. Sure, he’d always liked hockey and could even sit through a basketball game, but he always thought football was kinda … well, dumb. The gear, the endless smashing into one another, the snail’s pace of the game… it all seemed pretty dumb to him. In mixed company, he’d scoff at the friends who would talk about football, and subconsciously even sort of look down on anyone who professed to like the game or had a favorite team.

Then there was the day he got stuck in a bar during a freak rainstorm. It was a sports bar called Game On!, according to the emblazoned title on the window. He ducked in just as the first bolt of lightning sizzled through the sky above. Inside, it was rather loud - the bar was almost full, and gigantic televisions lined the walls. He felt almost instantly dizzy with the pounding sound of the game currently on, but found his way to an empty seat and waited for the bartender to come over.

The game almost immediately - how couldn’t it? - took up the whole of his range of vision. You know how when you sit at a bar and there’s nothing much to look at, you look at the TV? That’s what happened here. He was watching-notwatching the game. It crept inside his head. The gear was …

“Can I get you a drink?”

Zack shook his head clear. “Uh, sorry. Yeah. Jack and Coke, please.”

The bartender smiled. “Caught up in the game, huh?”

“Nah, not really… not a big football fan.”

“Really? You seemed pretty into it. My bad. Lemme grab your drink.”

The bartender went off again, and Zack found his gaze drawn to the screen again. The sound of the patrons around him seemed to recede, as if slipping away down a dark tunnel. The roar of the crowd on the televisions amplified, surged. Zack felt like he was in the stands, felt the hot sun blazing on his forearms…

Thunder rippled through the air, and the snapping sound of fingers - wait, huh? “Dude, you’re really into this game, huh?” The bartender was back.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” And wasn’t he? Man, was he ever suddenly INTO this! How could he have not liked football before? He fumbled out some bills for the drink and the bartender laughed a little.

“Don’t worry, bro, you’re in good company. Everyone here - ” He was interrupted by a roar as a player broke away and sprinted madly, faster, dodging, cradling the football in his arm, dashing -

“Go, go, go…..!” Zack’s heart pounded feverishly in his chest as he watched the sequence, and BOOM - “TOUCHDOWN!” He wasn’t even aware that he had been shouting in unison with the whole bar. He’d never felt like this! He hadn’t even noticed the bartender slide away, so focused he was on the game.

“… and the coaches, bro, they must be fuckin’ geniuses or somethin, it’s like chess, they gotta strategize, it’s fuckin awesome!”

Brady rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Zack, we get it, you’re a football convert now. But it’s all you’ve talked about for like, the last week, now, so…”

Zack blinked. “It is?”

“Yeah, man. And not for nothin, I know it’s hot out, but I don’t think you’ve worn a shirt the past week, either, or put down that damn ball.”

Zack didn’t remember even buying the football, or the various bands he wore on his arms. “Yeah, so? Football fuckin rules bro. You should come catch a game with me sometime. There’s this bar I go to that’s awesome, seriously.”

“Maybe man. I gotta go for now, though. Uh… catch you around.” Zack was just … different now, somehow. Brady felt ill-at-ease, just wanted to get away from the football fanatic.

“Okay, bro. See ya.” There was a game on, anyway, and Zack had to hurry to Game On if he wanted that primo seat, right in front of the television. Maybe a bro or two would throw the ball around with him after. Brady didn’t like football, huh, weird.

“I mean, how can you not like football?” Zack said out loud, unaware of how much duller his voice sounded. “Like, it fuckin rules.”

And Game On waited for him, the pulsing and glowing televisions continuing to pulse and glow. A dumb, contented grin slid onto his lips … and he headed for the bar.